milky

22. enfp. detrimentally obsessed with xena, puppets, and the hunger games. stoner w ENTIRELY unmedicated adhd. no i do NOT want to talk about religion. DOG PERSON

[slunch]

can I live my life or do I have to go away forever

[ejgto]

[late-dawnz-early-sunsets]

what the fuck man you cant do that

[emeraldwhale]

[elliespectacular]

me: "hey i think i might be bisexual."

friend: "that's cool, thanks for letting me know."

lois griffin after getting turned into a gas station:

[astronoglow]

Muppet Workshop

[assiraphales]

“they don’t do muppet movies anymore bc they’re not popular enough to be profitable—“ america loves the muppets!!!!! they’re our lil darlings!!!!!!!! stop pretending no one knows them anymore and start actually letting them be our felted celebrities again!! put miss piggy back on cooking shows / a special w martha stewart. have a talk show host interview kermit like joan rivers did. adapt a popular literary classic w the muppets and one (1) main human. let them make cameos. start acting like they’re REAL again bc in our hearts they ARE

[vivithewacky]

I updated my electric mayhem lgbtq+ headcanons a bit

[lotsadeer]

I feel like tumblr will appreciate my puppet soup

[milktiger]

soup

[the-muppet-joker]

Have I been offline long enough to have earned forgiveness for my misdeeds or am I still cancelled?

[milktiger]

ill forgive you if you let me hit it raw

[cryptotheism]

"You think you're informed just because you read a bunch of grainy PDFs?"

Yeah man. Reading scholarly works on a topic informs you on that topic. That's how this works.

[charlesoberonn]

[the-muppet-joker]

Ah yes, December 25th. My birthday. Not an important day for any other reason...

[milktiger]

we must celebrate! many libations! i am dressing all green and slimey for the croakster

[etrianodysseyobsession-hd-deact]

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

i spent an insane amount of time trying to make that gif on my phone lmao please validate me 🥲

[sonoran-partisan]

Out of Touch Advent

[the-muppet-joker]

My liege how are things at KFC going? You’ve been silent for a few days and we worry

(PS I’m not sure of your exact duties but could we say that KFC stands for Kermit Frying Chicken?)

Clock in deep fry chicken wing clock out clock in deep fry chicken leg clock out clock in deep fry customer clock out clock in deep fry consciousness clock out

[milktiger]

croaker let me save you. croaker i could fix you.

[milktiger]

am i wrong to carnally desire the croaker

[milktiger]

i still want him in my Muscular Masc Muppet arms

[milktiger]

my muscles are so sore from constantly working out. *shakes fist* curse you, mfs who arent attracted to fat mascs. may tren baby curse you!

[milktiger]

also can I be real with you guys I blacked out really hard last Saturday (party started at 7, I was asleep by 9:45) and I woke up with my pussy like actually hurting but this shindig was in my house and my door was locked when I woke up (it only locks from the inside) so I now fully believe I just fr popped my pussy

[milktiger]

ALSO UPDATE TO THIS BUT MY DOOR WAS NOT LOCKED AND I PISSED MYSELF AND MY ROOMMATE AND MY FRIEND SAW MY NAKED LEGS ! so it is anyones guess

[milktiger]

am i wrong to carnally desire the croaker

[muppet-slit]

divine inspiration came upon me like joker upon kermit. there is no universe where I didn't paint this.