how do i feel real help

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how do i feel real help
i feel like theres bugs on and under my skin pls help how do i get them away
how do i die without dying? i wanna be numb and dont suffer all day. n i feel bad bc im sad for no reason. my life is good now. theres no reason to feel this way 4 mee,,,,
not me ghosting my friends bc im sad n then being sad bc they ignore me like,,,,, i started this
THIS IS HOW I WANNA LOOK WALKING DOWN THE STREET
i walk into therapy. i get medication. i read weight gain in the side effects. i refuse to take them.
dis is all i wanna be
i cant believe my bmi is 19,1 but I STILL LOOK SO FUCKING FAT like can my fucking hips leave i just wanna be a stick. give me the legs i yearn for JFRHEGUDWSJ
TW SH, ED
i wish i had an irl toxic friendship w someone where we brag abt self harming and starving and do stupid shit togtehr like trainsurfing... i just wanna have someone as unhinged as me. like id do it myself bc i cant die but its boring alone and i dont wanna drag down my current friends.
how do i cope with feeling extremely bored and empty on the daily without doing drugs all day bc thats boring to do alone :((
i wish was motivated to throw my food up but i dont wanna worry my parents by violently gagging in the bathroom ://
this is my dream rn
wishing that was me
AAAAAAAA
i just wanna do drugs and party to forget i have a physical form
once im skinny and covid is over i will wear this and i will do coke