With the life in your hands:With the life in your hands - This is a story about a boy who lost his girlfriend in a car accident. He is sitting beside her on th...
âWhen I saw you I liked you, when I liked you I loved you, when I loved you I lost you"
I walked down the all to well-known corridor, while my eyes catch a glimpse of the numbers that was placed above the doors. âNumber 12âŠâ I whispered, a second before a finally stood in front of the right room.
I glanced down on the flowers in my hands, before I took a deep breath and entered the room. I was met with a strange smell; it was a mix of bad cleaning products and hand alcohol.
I would never get used to the smell, it gave me a lost felling, like nothing would ever get better.
I sighed, before I stepped further into the room, I had been in here to many times, the last half of a year.
The beeping sounds, gave me an urge to run out again, but it was my girlfriend there was in here, and I would do anything, to be with her a little longer.
As usual I chose to sit on the chair beside the bed. The flowers were replaced with the new bouquet of flowers I have brought with me, before I let my eyes look at her with a sad look.
Her long blond hair, there was hanging down over her shoulders, look like it always has, but the mask, witch made sure that she was getting enough oxygen, made her look so unrecognizable. The girl who always had a smile on her lips, it wasnât her who was lying in this bed.. It couldnât be herâŠ
I took her hand in mine, which made the hairs on my arms rise, her hand was cold, which was my fault⊠It was me who was driving the car that day, and it was me who had driven it over the cliff.
A tear found its way down my cheek, when the thought about that day appeared in my mind. It was my fault and I knew it.
âHappy valentines dayâ I whispered, before I leaned down and kissed her hand.
âI am so so sorry!â I muttered, and stroked her cheek gently.
âValentines day was something we should have experienced together⊠We should have been on a flight on our way to Paris right now, remember we promised each other that?â
I knew very well, that she wasnât going to answer, but I felt like I needed to say this out loud.
âFor about 4 years ago, when we were sitting on the bench in the park. I remember clearly how nervous I was, me hands was shaking, but I knew if I didnât tell you how I felt, then maybe it would be to late, so I told you, how in love I was with you.
I took a deep breath, the sobs was making it hard to continue.
"You didnât answer at first, which had scared me a lot, but when you leaned forward and placed your lips on mine. That was the perfect answer, and I knew that you were mineâ
I smiled a little when the pictures appeared in my head.
âI wasnât the first time we had kissed.â
I chuckled a little when I remembered your birthday in first grade;
âDo you remember your birthday? The whole class was assembled to celebrate you, and we were playing hide and seek.
I remember we were hiding in a closet. We didnât exactly knew what it meant to be boyfriend or girlfriend when were in that age, but I asked, if you wanted to be my girlfriend, and you know what? You kissed me on the cheek, and said yes.â
I sniffled⊠I was already in love with her then.
I jumped a little in the chair, when I looked up. A young nurse was standing beside me. She wasnât smiling, she was on the other hand looking kind of sad.
âIâm so sorry that I have to ask you to do this, but we need to make a decision. She had been in a coma in 6 months. It canât continue this way.â
I could see on the way she was looking at me, that she didnât want to say this, but I nodded, and gave her a small smile, before she left the room.
âWhat in hell should I do?â I buried my head in my hands, I couldnât just turn her off. I could not live with the thought of me being the reason why she is dead.
âWhy on earth was I thinking when I was driving the car? You told I was to drunk, but I was 100% sure that It wasnât a problem, and look what happened.
We had had an amazing evening, I remember clearly, how beautiful you had been. You blond hair was slightly curled, and the black strapless dress was hanging perfectly down your body, it had reminded me of how lucky I was to have you.
You had your new perfume on, the one I gave you the day before.
It is still standing on the dresser, where you left it. The smell reminds me to much of you, and how much this is my fault.
I sniffed, before I continued;
"I had invited you to this beautiful restaurant, and I had something very special in thoughts.
You looked so surprised, when I sat down on one knee. I told you how much I loved you and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. The tears was running down your face, and that was what gave me the courage to say the four words; "Will you marry me?â You gave me a big hug and nearly screamed yes, and then the whole restaurant applauded. It was a unforgettable moment.
Until I decided to drive the car with you by my side.
I donât remember what happened, not until I opened my eyes and saw two men who were about to carry you away. I was about to tell them to leave your alone, until I saw the ambulance. â
I started to sob again, while I hold you hand. "I love youâ
The door opened, and a man stepped in. âWe need you to take a decisionâ he said and gave me a serious look.
The decision were mine, I was the reason why she was here, so it was fair that I should decided, what should happened.
I took a deep breath, and gave the doctor a sad look.
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