Mimi

26

[colmiillo]

me acting like I just didn't read the most filthy nasty hot smut fic of my life

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[herewithinthevoid]

every so often something nice happens on the other hellsite 𖹭

[mistflarden-deactivated20200816]

“In Europe they–”

WHERE in Europe??!? WHERE??? You mean Iceland?? Azerbaijan? The Netherlands? Liechtenstein???? THERE ARE 50 COUNTRIES IN EUROPE. ALL WITH DIFFERENT CULTURES. SO PRAY TELL ME, WHERE IN FUCKING EUROPE.

[eldriitchmurmurs]

in europe they got antisemitism

[number-one-malloc-appreciator]

[freakoutgirl]

the internet seems like a distant dream

[freakoutgirl]

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

[gaywill-deactivated20260129]

if i was a celebrity i would want people to speculate on my sexuality and disorders because maybe it would help me out

[edgebug]

"grace. grace! grace give attention. rocky perform human ritual of escape closet now. statement."

"come again?"

"i learn more from thinking machine. human gender preference. attraction to same gender, means word 'gay.' all eridian same gender." rocky stands straight up. "rocky come out to grace now. all rocky plural gay, statement."

"...wow, that's... rock, i'm not sure it makes much sense to apply human ideas of sexual orientation to a monogendered species."

a long and judgmental pause. then:

"grace HOMOPHOBIC, question????"

[hayleywilliamsfan84]

i keep laughing at the way that eridian culture in the movie and eridian culture in the book are not contradictory at all, if you accept that movie rocky is just a total FREAK

grace: boy i sure can't wait to meet other eridians haha! rocky, putting on a shirt for the first time in four years: rocky has something to tell grace but does grace promise not to be mad, question?

[hydrangea-pop]

I can't leave this in the tags lmaooo

[aqueerkettleofish]

For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."

Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.

Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.

Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.

The best part is the local city council's reaction.

And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.

[essaimart]

☝️ one

[essaimart]

she needs a lot

[cannibalchicken]

[thenightetc]

@argumate

[argumate]

you verb noun?

[redfagdiver]

You verb noun? You verb noun like the comparison? Oh!! Punishment for title! Punishment for amount of time!!!!

[thisishowyoumakemovies]

You deconstruct meme? You deconstruct meme into its base parts? Oh!! Explanation for readers! Explanation for one thousand reblogs!!!!

[76ello]

Miette, the gift that keeps on giving.

[d6b-onion]

this video has been going around for a while but the English subtitles didn't match the energy of the spoken French at all. i had to fix it.

reblog to spread this version

[avalon-the-eridian]

Shout out to Ryland Grace, the first person to kill an alien, the first person to befriend an alien and the first person to breed aliens. No one is doing it like him.

[raccoonmilf]

When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.

Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.

[raccoonmilf]

I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny

[tongue-twists]

asexual sex workers are braver than any US marine

[tongue-twists]

"but how can be asexual and also sex worker" idk man it's just a job. I doubt most people who work in retail have a kink for stocking shelves.

[max--phillips]

Losing it

[dandeliont3aandsageleaves]

Grace, lightly nudging Rocky out of the way with his foot: Rock move out of the way please so I don't trip on you.

Rocky, with the saddest notes: you KICK rocky? You kick his body like the human ball? Oh! Oh! Jail for Grace! Jail for Grace for One Thousand Years!