bitch is u serious
YOU ARE THE REASON
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NASA
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Jules of Nature

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EXPECTATIONS
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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@mindfuckinghood
bitch is u serious
Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.
THIS IS IMPORTANT
When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).
I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.
Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.
Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.
DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.
I can sleep tonight knowing that he is safe
Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.
THIS IS IMPORTANT
When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now).
I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes.
Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that.
Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is.
DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.
Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well
1. What is you middle name?
2. How old are you?
3. When is your birthday?
4. What is your zodiac sign?
5. What is your favorite color?
6. What's your lucky number?
7. Do you have any pets?
8. Where are you from?
9. How tall are you?
10. What shoe size are you?
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
12. What was your last dream about?
13. What talents do you have?
14. Are you psychic in any way?
15. Favorite song?
16. Favorite movie?
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
18. Do you want children?
19. Do you want a church wedding?
20. Are you religious?
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
24. Baths or showers?
25. What color socks are you wearing?
26. Have you ever been famous?
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
28. What type of music do you like?
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
32. How big is your house?
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
35. Have you ever tried archery?
36. Favorite clean word?
37. Favorite swear word?
38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?
39. Do you have any scars?
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
41. Are you a good liar?
42. Are you a good judge of character?
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
44. Do you have a strong accent?
45. What is your favorite accent?
46. What is your personality type?
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
48. Can you curl your tongue?
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
50. Left or right handed?
51. Are you scared of spiders?
52. Favorite food?
53. Favorite foreign food?
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
55. Most used phrased?
56. Most used word?
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
58. Do you have much of an ego?
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
60. Do you talk to yourself?
61. Do you sing to yourself?
62. Are you a good singer?
63. Biggest Fear?
64. Are you a gossip?
65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?
66. Do you like long or short hair?
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
68. Favorite school subject?
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
71. What makes you nervous?
72. Are you scared of the dark?
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
74. Are you ticklish?
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
77. Have you ever drank underage?
78. Have you ever done drugs?
79. Who was your first real crush?
80. How many piercings do you have?
81. Can you roll your Rs?"
82. How fast can you type?
83. How fast can you run?
84. What color is your hair?
85. What color is your eyes?
86. What are you allergic to?
87. Do you keep a journal?
88. What do your parents do?
89. Do you like your age?
90. What makes you angry?
91. Do you like your own name?
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
94. What are you strengths?
95. What are your weaknesses?
96. How did you get your name?
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
98. Do you have any scars?
99. Color of your bedspread?
100. Color of your room?
Deep.
THISS LITERALLY JUST FUCKED ME UP
Agreed ^^
can we just take a moment and listen to calum’s vocals in San Francisco?? thanks
Sirius XM Hits 1 - 09/07
Sirius XM Hits 1 - September 7, 2016 [HQ] [Gallery]
5SOS on the band’s snapchat (wearefivesos) - September 04, 2016
“Everybody eats.” 🔊
such a pure video
i love this
just so we’re clear if i ever become famous you guys totally have my 100% permission to use me to get back at any bitches who teased you in school like im not even kidding just send me a message with your situation and i will fly my ass out to your high school reunion or whatever and be your +1 and we can regale all the bitches with the fantastic stories of our foolhardy adventures and THEY WILL NEVER KNOW
Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out
Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..
Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend
Bro: touche…
____________________________________________________________
Bro: so you like girls?
Me: yep
Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?
Me: maybe
Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO??
____________________________________________________________
Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?
Me: sure… $10?
Bro: okay
Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three
Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….
____________________________________________________________
Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU
____________________________________________________________
Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?
Bro: yeah?
Friend: what’s that?
Bro: basically she’ll date anyone
Friend: think she’ll date me?
Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..
____________________________________________________________
Bro: so…how was narnia?
____________________________________________________________
Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too
Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?
Me: ew no
Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS
____________________________________________________________
Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type
Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type
Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce
____________________________________________________________
Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?
Me: hopefully
Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??
Me: no?
Bro: dammit…
____________________________________________________________
Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur
Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you
Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!
____________________________________________________________
Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?
Me: what?
Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food
____________________________________________________________
Bro: aw fuck
Me: what?
Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl!
Me: no thats okay-
Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???
This is so sweet actually
I love this so much!!
aaaawwwwhhhhh
Growing up my parents made me believe that someone turning a light on in the car while I’m driving was going to be a much bigger issue in my life than it actually is.
Seriously. It really seemed like the end of the world
that’s my man