Let your mind fade away.

Indie Shinsou Hitoshi from BNHA tormeted by Remy Background Art from Velikaya-Art Mobile Rules

[museaddled]

@mindlesspurplegaze​ cont from x

He looked up at Shinsou in surprise, eyes wet with unshed tears. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. He had fully expected the younger boy to walk away or to say something rude and sarcastic and then leave. He hadn’t expected the other to get mad, or to show any kind of worry for him. 

He’d been so desperately trying to stay one step ahead of the breakdown he had felt coming, frantically keeping himself busy and distracted. But in the end, it caught up to him, like it always did. 

Shinsou’s concern only made the dam that much harder to hold up.

The swell of emotions he’d been trying to push down, guilt and despair washing over him until he felt like he was going to drown, until he could barely breathe under the pressure in his chest.

“I’m fine,” he choked out, even as a sob wracked through his body. He quickly reached up to press the heels of his palms into his eyes as his face contorts, tears finally breaking free in forceful sobs until he was bawling in front of Shinsou. 

[mindlesspurplegaze]

Any anger that rose in Shinsou was squashed when Taka choked out words. All that was left was hallow concern. Looking at the other, so clearly breaking down, Shinsou didn’t know what to do with himself. He wasn’t good at comforting people. That required knowing what to do with emotions and the like. Shinsou had no idea what to do with his own emotions let alone others emotions. 

Standing there, frozen, a thousand possibilities went through Shinsou’s head on what to do. Then, he reached his conclusion. How would Taka likely try to comfort him if he were the one breaking down? Distraction maybe. Physical comfort. False cheer. 

Well, that last one Shinsou knew he couldn’t do, but the other two, Shinsou had a shot at. 

Shinsou reached out, slowly so Taka could pull away if he wanted, before wrapping the other up in a ginger hug. “It’s whatever. Fine not fine, who cares. Let’s go get some coffee or tea or whatever.”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

@quirkaddled​ i wanted to

Had Shinsou been purposefully annoying the soon-to-be villain? Yes. Was it for a good cause? Also yes. Shinsou saw good in the other. He knew this guy had a chance to do some real good and was just... going down a bad path. It was easier down the bad path. It was hard walking the good one and Shinsou knew it well. Shinsou wanted to help Iida. He wanted to save the other. It felt like something so achievable and valuable. He knew he could do it.

Well, he knew he could do it up until a knife was against his throat.

Eyes widening in surprise, Shinsou bit back a snarky reply. He needed to be careful. This guy was a lose cannon. This was someone who could, and would kill him if pushed the wrong way. Maybe he could get out of this without a scratch. Shinsou was good with words. He could do it.

That was... well that was the thought until a knife was suddenly buried in his shoulder. Letting out a sharp cry, Shinsou couldn’t stop his reaction as he reached up and grabbed his shoulder. Pain radiated through his right side as he grit his teeth. It’d been a while since he’d gotten so hurt and, save for the wall behind him, it almost brought him to his knees.

A wheezing laugh left his lungs. Shinsou didn’t even know why it made him laugh. Shock from the pain? Maybe. Shinsou wasn’t sure, but for some reason the words made him laugh.

“Do you understand?” Shinsou repeated the words, half mimicking Iida’s voice in as serious a way as possible. The other sounded so serious and earnest. So commanding. Shinsou didn’t know how to respond other than to find it funny. It was just so... over the top almost. He couldn’t help but wheeze out another laugh, keeping a hand firmly around his wound and trying to ignore the danger he was currently in.

“No, I guess I don’t understand. After all, if you really wanted to get rid of me so bad, you’d have put the knife in my throat, wouldn’t you have?” Shinsou looked Iida in the eyes, an almost manic glint there. “I mean all this little stunt has fucking done is prove to me you’re not completely gone, yeah? If you really had crossed that line, I’d be dead now. So no. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here.”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

“ Look at me! How can you call this dependable? ”

angst revived me // accepting || @siireniis

“I know it’s…” Shinsou trailed off unsure how to continue. By all rights, he should’ve hated his uncle. A villain. Someone who hurt other people. Shinsou knew it was happening, he knew it was a problem. Shinsou should’ve tried to stop him, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to do, how to react, how to move on. He knew it was bad. He knew it was terrible. 

Shinsou didn’t know what to say, so he went with the truth. “You’re the only adult in my life still sticking around… It’s dependable enough for me.”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

“Close your eyes — I don’t want you to see me like this.” // taka

angst revived me // accepting || @quirkaddled

“Are you kidding me?” Shinsou squinted at the other, a spike of fury running through him, driven by concern. Practically stalking up to the other, Shinsou grabbed his arm, forcing Taka to look at him. “You’re a fucking idiot if you think I’m just closing my eyes or walking away. You need help. This isn’t healthy.”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

“ Do you ever just wanna… give in?” // mirio

angst revived me // accepting || @quirkaddled

This wasn’t something Shinsou was supposed to see. It wasn’t meant for his eyes, seeing the other look so vulnerable. Shinsou knew, or thought he knew, that Mirio didn’t want to be seen as weak even after losing his quirk. It was easier, Shinsou assumed, to slap a grin on your face instead of having everyone ask if you’re okay. People had long stopped asking if Shinsou was okay, but that was due to a lacking of people caring. Shinsou didn’t know what it was like for Mirio. 

All Shinsou knew was that people looked up to him. Shinsou did too. 

Shinsou looked at his senpai, someone who had been blessed with an amazing quirk Shinsou would’ve been jealous of, he looked at Mirio and saw someone who lost everything. People said they couldn’t be heroes, someone without a quirk and someone with a villain’s quirk. Shinsou didn’t care. He was used to it. He knew he couldn’t give in. He knew his senpai would never give in either. 

At least… that was the thought until now. Until Shinsou caught this private little moment and was asked a question he instantly wished he’d never heard. 

“You’re not giving in. Don’t waste time thinking about something that won’t happen.” It was meant to be encouragement, but Shinsou feared it would merely reveal how scared he was himself.

[mindlesspurplegaze]

“ Have you ever felt suffocated? ”

angst revived me // accepting || @abysmalpyre

Shinsou’s hand moved without permission, gingerly gracing his own throat with a bare brush of his finger tips. Eyes cast away, memories flickered within. Staring up at someone much taller than him. Being scared. Fearing for his life. Not knowing how to react. Asking a question, talking, saying something, the monster in front of him going still, still for just a moment a moment of peace before they started moving again. Before a hand whipped out across his face, nearly knocking him off his own feet. Before hands, cruel hands, hands meant for love, for safety…. before those hands lunged forward and wrapped around his throat. Suffocation. Not being able to breath. Gasping for breath. Crying. Dying. Then nothing. 

A wry smile took place of any uncertainty or fear from before. Shinsou drew his eyes back to the other villain as he shrugged. “Yeah. Of course I have. Why do you care?”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

“ I can’t seem to outrun this. ” // tenya

angst revived me // accepting || @quirkaddled

“If you’re trying to make a pun this is a bad fucking time.” Shinsou’s eyes drew down for a moment, trying to stop his hands from shaking. His chest ached, his heart shook. He didn’t know how to react, didn’t know how to respond. So many thoughts running through his head and Shinsou failed to sort through them all. He knew his poker face had fallen. There was no hiding it. No hiding the uncomfortable feelings running through him. 

“You didn’t think people would find out about this? You fucking tried to…” Shinsou could even get the words out. He took solace in the fact that Iida’s head seemed to hang in shame, but it did nothing to tame the burning in Shinsou’s heart as confusion melded into anger. Maybe it would’ve been better if he found out about it from Iida instead of Midoriya slipping up. Maybe it would’ve kept Shinsou from furiously confronting Iida. Maybe it would have felt like less of a betrayal of the ideals he thought Iida stood for. 

It didn’t matter though. “I can’t believe you.”

[melamemea]

misc angst sentences.

“It… I … it wasn’t supposed — to be this way —”

“If I could take it all back… I would.”

“You have no idea how far I went — to save you.”

“Even if it means giving up my life, everything I’ve done, I’ll do it for you.”

“There are no limits when it comes to you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

“Close your eyes — I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“It was — it was supposed to end differently! It was — supposed to — no!”

“No — No, no, no, no, no — ! Not like this !”

“Let — go !”

“ Com— come back ! Don’t you dare leave me here !”

“I refuse to die here! I’ve come too far!”

“ Why do I have to be strong all the time? ”

“ Look at me! How can you call this dependable? ”

“ This is the exact reason why everyone I love leaves!”

“ There are so many sides to me that you don’t know. ”

“ All I ever wanted was to live a happy life… I wanted to be fine!”

“ There’s this thing about solitude. It gets to you. It eats you alive. ”

“ And sometimes we just gotta give up. ”

“ There are burdens on my shoulders that I can’t shake off. ”

“ Have you ever felt suffocated? ”

“ It’s the world is crumbling beneath me and I’m in free fall. ”

“ What I wouldn’t give to go back to the time where I had no concerns. ”

“ There’s this darkness in me… I don’t know how to explain it. ”

“ I’m hollow. ”

“ And then there’s this sadness. This raw, awful sadness that you’re too good to see. ”

“ You don’t deserve someone like me. ”

“ My past comes back to haunt me, and I can’t chase the ghosts away. ”

“ So many things went wrong in my life, and they keep on coming. ”

“ I don’t know how much longer I can endure this. ”

“ It hurts… every god awful day it hurts. More and more. ”

“ I can’t seem to outrun this. ”

“ Do you ever just wanna… give in?”

“ Should’ve gotten life right the first time. ”

“ They keep saying that this is all going to go away, but I don’t know about that. ”

“ Life is a god damn ocean and I have no idea how to swim. ”

“ It just doesn’t feel fair. ” 

[museaddled]

@mindlesspurplegaze​ said: "You’re a dork.“ @tenya (did I come on here after months to just send this one message why yes I did.)

unprompted? // always accepting

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t alphabetize your dishes?!”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

“What I’m trying to tell you is that your blood pressure will kill you by the time you’re 30 because of all the inane tasks you do. Such as, but not limited to, alphabetizing dishes.”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

Haitus

Hey guys! I know I kind of just fell of the face of the earth, but things have been a lot lately (I’ve switched jobs twice, living situation once, I might have a kidney stone, my life is a mess etc etc). I swear I’m gonna come back eventually. My best estimate is probably October-November. So just thank you if you stick around and if you don’t thank you for giving me a chance.

Hope to see you guys soon.

[mindlesspurplegaze]

Haitus

Hey guys! I know I kind of just fell of the face of the earth, but things have been a lot lately (I’ve switched jobs twice, living situation once, I might have a kidney stone, my life is a mess etc etc). I swear I’m gonna come back eventually. My best estimate is probably October-November. So just thank you if you stick around and if you don’t thank you for giving me a chance.

Hope to see you guys soon.

[arrogantesbaby-deactivated20180]

“You look mean” bitch I am. Move.

[mindlesspurplegaze]

galactiicsouls‌:

There was word of new villains rising up in this district. Ones where they had yet to figure out their quirks and recognize who they were. As a precaution, Shouta was sent out along with another group to help scout out the area, and not to intervene unless confirmed to be illegally using their quirks for personal gain. There was some word that a very dangerous quirk that rivaled Stain’s immobilizing one was out and about. Hypnotism as some people described it… leaving a rather strange feeling inside of him. Aizawa’s quirk would be crucial to ensure that there was no immediate attack his way.

Yet he couldn’t even begin to fathom the circumstances that lay before him. It felt like it had been some time since they had last spoken…

                  …And this was what he had become.

The sharp grip of betrayal clutches his chest and drives in a blow that forces all the air to escape his lungs for that very moment. Behind golden goggles were widened eyes. As if deja vu  had something against him. 

Seeing his own student… turn into this. 

               And not even an attempt to explain himself. 

As black locks of hair start to float upwards, the glow of red appears through the slits of his eyegear. He knows his student… or at least he thought so. His hand is raised to reach for his own capture weapon, 

“What are you doing, Shinsou? Explain yourself.”

Shinsou made no move to attack, but didn’t relax either. Staying in a tense, defensive stance, Shinsou was equally ready to grab his capture weapon and fight. He didn’t want to. No not really. He’d have loved to get out of there. Brainwash his old mentor and then just vanish in the night, but Shinsou doubted Aizawa was foolish enough to let him speak without erasing his quirk. 

As Aizawa spoke, Shinsou considered his options. Getting caught and going to jail would just be giving the villains forcing him into this what they wanted and limit Shinsou’s ability to free any hostages. Fighting Aizawa and winning would mean getting away, but would possibly bring even more heroes coming to strike him down for his being a traitor. Just straight up running would likely have a similar turn out as if he fought and ran. Ideally he could convince Aizawa to trust him and leave him alone, but Shinsou didn’t know if he was being watched. The villains had been very specific about killing hostages slowly if he told anyone why he’d suddenly become a villain. 

So, Shinsou was stuck. He was trying to think of his way out, of his way forward, but it would be hard. Maybe... maybe though he could tip Aizawa off. If he spoke carefully. 

“I’m doing what I have to, Aizawa.” Shinsou gave a shrug, trying to keep up his villainous attitude. Words needed to be careful enough for Aizawa to pick up on a hidden meaning, but the attitude had to be convincing enough for anyone watching. “It’s hard to fight the hands of fate guiding you and, well, my quirk had this destiny slated out for me. So, why don’t we both just walk away before someone else gets hurt.”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

galactiicsouls‌:

Should he be surprised that he didn’t think about it? Or was it expected considering being a hero is always a priority for the both of them? It didn’t make it any less discouraging in Kaminari’s heart. He’s used to being totally rejected… surely things would be blown over soon enough. 

“I think that’s pretty easy to tell, even if you didn’t outright say it… or like, if you didn’t feel anything for me at all. It’s cool! It… really is.”

Another pause as he sifts his fingers through his hair. So much subtlety has gone out the window… he might as well be kissing him again. 

“…But if you’d totally be down to give me a try… that would definitely be awesome too. I kinda feel bad now that I just put you on the spot. I usually don’t do it like that but… something about you just made me want to.” And certainly rejection has been nothing new to someone like him. 

Shinsou shifted a little and thought. He’d gone into the hero course not even wanting to make friends let alone considering a relationship. It would cut into his time training and studying for hero work. It could put him behind on what he’d been working for. It meant crossing into completely unknown territory. 

However, it also meant having a good reason to spend more time around Kaminari, someone he genuinely liked. Did he like Kaminari romantically? Shinsou wasn’t so sure of that himself. Any strong feelings like that had gotten pushed down so far he could hardly identify them. So, it’d be a risk to give Kaminari a try. It would be risking a friendship, his time, his emotions, all of that. 

Would it be worth the risk?

“I don’t... I’ve never dated anyone and honestly don’t have the first idea of how that would go, but I like spending time with you.” Hopefully that would suffice as an answer as to whether or not he wanted to try.

[mindlesspurplegaze]

Plotting Call!

Give this post a like and I’ll hop into your dms and chat about some potential plots! I’m in the mood to talk out ideas about threads and get some new ones started! 

[mindlesspurplegaze]

darkgospel‌:

“I see, you don’t like being compared to him either.”

A sort of stifle chuckle comes from Todoroki when Shinsou is quick with a rebuttal. It seems almost everybody has some sort of fiery rivalry with Midoriya and Todoroki can’t help to burn those fires hotter. 

Todoroki’s feels a smile itching at the corners on his mouth when he hears Shinsou still carries the picture book in his possession, and the child hidden inside Todoroki is smiling and cheering. 

“I’d like that, very much actually.” Todoroki looks down at this hands and feels himself being transported back into his five year old self. 

“I’m starting to remember….didn’t we read it together? You weren’t very talkative back then. I remember reading it aloud to you and you helped me when I couldn’t read the kanji correctly.” 

Todoroki picks is head up at the suddenly realization. 

“Ah. You were short too.” Todoroki looks at Shinsou and he frowns, shoulders slumping. 

“What the heck did you eat to have grown so tall?” 

“Not really about being compared to him. Though he’s a foolhardy idiot and I’m not.” Okay so maybe Shinsou did have a little bit of a rivalry with Midoriya, but that didn’t mean Shinsou wanted his words or actions equated to the other. Shinsou wanted to be his own hero and not chase after someone like Midoriya. After all, Midoriya did his fair number of stupid things.

Shinsou nodded. “Yeah we did. I knew how to read better, but didn’t really like talking back then. So, I figured I’d just let you do the talking.” Shinsou would make sure to bring it next time he came to see Todoroki, whether it was in the hospital or elsewhere. 

Though, at the mention of Shinsou being short, he smirked. “Yeah I grew a lot a couple years ago all of a sudden. No clue why, but now I’m taller than a good amount of people.”

[mindlesspurplegaze]

" hold my hand if you need to " (( todo & shin??? childhood friends possibly if you want))

angst starters // accepting || @koseigoi

Shinsou turned his wide, teary eyes towards his friend’s hand. It’d been a bad day. He’d accidentally used his quirk on someone in class and his teacher made him sit in the corner and not talk to anyone because of it. Well, and afterwards the other kids refused to respond to him anyway. It hurt. Made him feel lonely. It wasn’t like he’d meant to use his quirk. Shinsou hadn’t even made the person do anything, just held control for a few moments before letting go. 

That didn’t stop the jeers and taunts though.

So, when he’d met with his friend at the park, Shinsou hadn’t been able to keep from tearing up when Todoroki asked why he wasn’t speaking. As Shinsou had just stood there scratching at his arms in his nerves, his friend had offered his hand in way of keeping him from scratching. 

Reaching out, Shinsou gently took the other’s hand for a moment, tears finally spilling from his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak before he fell silent. It was hard to talk after so many acted like he was a villain just for talking. Instead of speaking, he just leaned against his friend and held his hand.