the Complexity of Minds and Alike

Feeling Out Loud

[mindsandalike]

Sometimes the words flow like a river

Falls like a heavy rain

Breaks like the waves crushing the corals

But accepting, like a calm quiet lake

Only a couple of them I wanted to share

Spare the most of my chaotic inside

This is how I speak, playing with my truth, but hiding behind my phrase

I am no mystery

Nor spreading cheap tricks

I am truly clueless, I have nothing behind me

I play with simple words, you see

But I am far from a plain slate, far more complicated than the ordinary

[mindsandalike]

“I forget to think that any progress at all is still a good progress. Maybe I’ve never stuck overall. This whole year maybe just a prolonged bad weather. But even underneath the storm, we are still pretty much living. And behind those dark clouds, the sky’s still pretty much blue in color.”

-December, 4th 2020.

[mindsandalike]

I’m looking for a place

For myself to finally rest

By taking every turn

Every wrong way

Every dead ends

I’m soaked in my own pain

As the fake rain touched my face

Am I lost

Am I found?

And once again your heart moved on

As the sky darkened

And the curtains dropped

But the show must go on.

[mindsandalike]

You strike me as if I am one of the pins

You are proud of it, as I am the one who starts falling

Don’t you dare to tell me it was your lucky shot

Do you ever think that maybe, our paths are crossed?

[mindsandalike]

When will I sure

If your intentions are pure

What will you do to convince me

That whatever this is, is true?

I’m in the lost here

But I’ve been here for so long, I learned to heal

I’ve starved, I’ve broke down to tears

But I got through it though with no ease

Tell me how

Tell me now

As I can no longer afford

For another false hope

For another meaningless opened doors

[mindsandalike]

Take me

Take my hand

It’s my breaking point

Let me dance out of it

Make it big, let it grand

It’s my breakthrough

My reborn

My own magnificent view

Of my brokenness

Call it money call it soul

Of my worth

Call it pain call it price

Of a whole part but the other

I’ll take it as my own

So I can grow

And run no longer

So I can bloom despite being alone

And dependable no more

[mindsandalike]

I am inside out

I am exposed, burnt to the bone

And I am alone

I see through them surrounding my body but far from my reach

I shut myself

Though I am seen

Cracked skin, flames underneath

I will erupt into thousand pieces

[mindsandalike]

Half Alive

Words said, but

Feelings weren’t well conveyed

You watered me to bloom

Told me I will someday be beautiful

So I rest on your terminal comfort

Tirelessly looking at your direction

It’s been raining for days

And you won’t promise the sun

I need to grow

I need her now

Where have you gone?

[mindsandalike]

What if I ignore the signs

Just to fall flat on my face, losing my grace

As I hear you say “I told you so”

What if I don’t listen to the truth

Just to live on my fake reputation, to strike out for a show

Just to simply “go with the flow”

Although I am undeniably full of sorrow

What if I tell you

That I am great in my solitude

Enjoying my time alone

To only endlessly suffer in silence?

[mindsandalike]

I run because it hurts

From every sight of you on every turn

You drenched me under the rain you created,

You let me dry out my own pain

Your touch is part of my livelihood

But it’s burning under my skin, on my every move

Your love so great I forgive your sin

It grows on me, I have to let you win

It’s your fault of what you did, it’s you I don’t deserve, they have believed

Still I’m the one to blame, why did I let you in?

[mindsandalike]

Shed a light on my way out

It’s tight in here

I’m fine with any plans or any color

It’s one way or the other

But to be away no more

To be away no more

Can I borrow your warmth

For today, for tomorrow and for everytime I need

Just so when the world falls on me

I won’t drifting on a cold icy water on my own

Too little spark has left on me

I’m too tired to burn, too stubborn to die out

Too far from what I aim for

Too lack of energy to go on

Make it go away

These worries, these sins

Help me pray

As I no longer want to be here

[mindsandalike]

I saw your eyes closed

Sleeping in my arms

The world’s quiet for a second

As I study your face, and learn your steady breath

Are you feeling safe in here?

My little one, my perfect dream?

The world’s crumbling, my dear

But far from your worry

Do you know that I’m here,

And for you I’ll be ready for everything?

For all the clocks ticking I wish it goes faster

For all occasions I have to plan every minute, every hour

Today I stopped for a second

As if time doesn’t matter

But to be in this exact moment

[mindsandalike]

Wash away,

Wash away

Wipe off those tears from my face

These are mine to hide

Just one more thing I wouldn’t like to share

I am easy like the wind, a bit crazy and often angry

That’s how I supposed to function, that’s how they see me

Have you found your forever home?

Yesterdays were gone, good memories were made

But today’s here, and it’s not that great

Should I wished you to come back

Should I let this go and holding on to hopes

Should I wait for myself to crack

Until I have nothing left but to start over?

I miss my joy

I crave company

But I have enough

I have enough of everything

But to stop growing

[mindsandalike]

So

You’ll leave too?

With all your innocence

And warm laughs

I thought it will last longer

Though I know it’s never meant to last forever

You caught me off guard

And I know you have no clue, and I wasn’t any clear

Why do I keep resting my heart

To a place of temporary; where I know it wouldn’t last?

And it’s not our fault

I guess it’s simply destiny

How things should be

But why am I always end up lonely?

It’s boring

To be the one who keeps hurting

[mindsandalike]

It’s their fault,

I said to emphasize a fact

To let myself realize

For a million times

I should let go of things out of control from my side

So I won’t be

For a million times

End up blaming myself

To shield me from my own dark place

To avoid a black hole of pain that could draw me inside

[mindsandalike]

We are all far in distance

Digital in touch

Harder to keep the ropes uptight

Some days I feel so incredibly, so painfully

Lonely, empty

When chats aren’t replied

Calls unanswered

How else, how else

Can I reach ya?

Will one day we be breaking

Pieces of us will be buried nowhere

As we stay at the same place

But we aren’t completely united?

We are unsure

And making excuses out of it

But aren’t we all the same

Only now we are aware, that everyday we are dying a little bit?

[mindsandalike]

We all know our time is limited

Our days are numbered

And our tomorrow is unsured

Yet we keep the hatred

Our blood toxicated

And our body uncomforted

Why staying bad is good?

That sins are almost seemed true

And though the world is so colorful;

We stay feeling blue?

O I know I believe in God

But my heart is human still, far from rightful

I always wanna know, wanna know

I don’t wanna stay blind tomorrow