Mind Works

mental health services for children and families

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Cellphones and screens are both a blessing and a curse.  They can be beneficial in distracting our kids, teenagers, and partners when we are trying to complete a task.  They can keep someone busy on a particularly long car ride.  Or they can be used as a way to reward good behaviors (all smiley faces at school for the week means 30 extra minutes of screen time on the weekend!).  But are we handing our kids the screen and giving them free rein or are we being involved in what they are allowed to watch and what content they are absorbing?

Even though someone is logged onto and watching TV through a site that is labeled for children (Kids YouTube, Cartoon Network, etc.), its important that we continue to monitor what are children are watching instead of setting them loose.  

The Huffington Post outlined a few guidelines for parents to follow when it comes to letting their children use screens/television/social media:

1.       Do you know what services and websites your child is looking at?  If you are unsure how to use the apps or access this information, have your child show you.  Especially with the use of Instagram, Snapchat, and other social media outlets, monitoring who and what are children are looking at is helpful in blocking harmful messages from getting through to them.

2.       Have you set reasonable rules for use of screens, television, and the internet for the house? Consistency and creating limits for how much time is spent on media devices can be key in managing other behaviors and help in developing social skills as well as fostering movement and entertainment outside of media appliances.

3.       Create a space for children and teens to be open about their problems on the internet or otherwise.  If you child comes to you with a concern about their media intake, instead of banning the media altogether, work with them to problem solve and take next steps in order to prevent re-occurrence.

4.       Do you know who your child is visiting online?  Just like we want to know who our child is spending time with in the real world, it is important to get an idea of who and what your child is spending time with online.  

For full access to the article and more tips on how to protect your children when they are using the internet, follow the link to the original article: here

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Stress/Anxiety Management Techniques

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10-20% of school-aged children experience anxiety symptoms, while more and more children are experiencing stress that does not qualify as an anxiety disorder.  Watching your child deal with anxiety and stress can lead to parents taking on more stress as well.  As with anything to do with our children, parents can model good anxiety coping behaviors so their children can better see managing these feelings and knowing that it is a normal part of life.

It’s no surprise that parents’ behaviors are one of the main explanations for the behavior exemplified by children.  Children will copy the behaviors of their caregivers.  If we were to use our own behavior as a teaching method for modeling the best practices in managing anxiety, it can be beneficial to our children overall, and to the self-care of parents themselves.

Modeling appropriate self-care, positive thinking, and anxiety approach behaviors can be the key to a child succeeding at handling their own anxieties and worries.  When a parent can demonstrate the importance of relaxation and taking some “me time,” children will notice these actions as positive behaviors.

Staying calm, self-care, problem-solving, relaxation exercises, and encouragement for expressing one’s anxiety are good starting points in teaching children that, not only is it okay to experience anxiety, it is normal and can be dealt with. Focusing on the positive, acknowledging the worry as real, and rewarding brave behavior are all beneficial behaviors to show that it’s okay to experience anxiety.  It’s okay not to be perfect and worry, it’s okay to ask for help.  Modeling these sentiments for children gives them the empathy and the tools they need to identify their anxiety and begin to move on from it.

-Mind Works

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5 Questions to Answer Before Seeking ADHD Testing

Many parents approach us about concerns that their child may have ADHD.  Parents are sure their child is inattentive and/or hyperactive.  Yet, when they bring their child in for testing, that child often has not eaten prior to coming, brings snacks of chips, candy, and cookies, and have not had the proper amount of rest the night prior.

1. Has your child had a comprehensive vision test? Your child’s lack of attention could be due to not being able to see what the teacher is writing on the board.

2. Has your child had a comprehensive hearing evaluation? What may appear to be ignoring, tuning-out, or day-dreaming may be due to your child not be hearing what is being said.

3. Does your child get a good night/restful sleep? If it takes more than 30 minutes for the morning fog to lift for your child, your child may have poor sleep hygiene or sleep apnea.  Before seeking a sleep study for sleep apnea, implement our suggestions about sleep hygiene.

4. How is your child’s diet? Are they eating mainly processed foods high in simple carbohydrates and artificial ingredients? Try replacing processed grains with whole grains, reducing sugar intake and adding more omega 3′s to your child’s diet.

5. How consistent is your parenting? Is your child receiving different messages from parents and caretakers about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable? How consistent is each parent in what they expect of the child? It is imperative that parents and caretakers communicate a clear and consistent message to their child so that the child is not confused about when and where specific behaviors are permissible.

After answering these questions and tending to areas that may need addressing, if your child is still exhibiting concerning behaviors it is time to make the call to a qualified provider to assess your child for ADHD.

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5 Ways to improve social skills in children and teenagers. Children and teenagers are being confronted with obstacles that previous generations before them have never encountered. With social media at the forefront in this changing world, it’s important for us to look at some of the challenges that children and teens face when it comes to social interactions. Many teens can be found in the same room texting each other while never looking up to make eye contact. While young children can be found with all kinds of gadgets that they bring to the dinner table or have glued to their fingertips any chance they can get. I often find clients only wanting to talk about video games and knowing about more social media sites  than some adults. It concerns me when I hear about more and more children and teens being disconnected socially from relationships but having more “friends” on social media sites to count. I have listed a few ways to help your child or teenager improve their social skills and challenge their social interactions. 1.      For children, I often tell families to have dinner at least once a week where they can interact and ask each other questions. The TV is turned off and no electronics are allowed at the dinner table. This goes for adults too! As adults and parents, we should also be aware of how our social interactions have declined with our children. When we talk to them with our cell phone never leaving our hand, we send the message that social interactions aren’t a priority. We need to practice what we preach! 2.      I also suggest to parents that role playing social interactions such as saying hello and greeting someone new be something that we teach children early on. 3.  Team sports or extracurricular activities can also promote positive peer relationships. It’s a good way for a child or teen to make friends outside of the academic environment. 4. For teenagers, I encourage parents to have their adolescent order the family meal at a restaurant or to pay for the groceries at the checkout counters. This helps prepare them to develop social interactions with others, but it also teaches a life skill. 5.  I also encourage families to enlist their teenager in some type of service activity in the community. Whether it be volunteering at a soup kitchen, food bank, or animal shelter, it’s about creating healthy and positive interactions for adolescents to have. Even elementary aged children can be taught early on about service activities in their community such as donating to Toys for Tots. No matter how things change in the future, it is still important for children and teenagers to have healthy social interactions with others. Thanks for reading!

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MAKING IT THROUGH TOUGH TIMES….

Recently my family went through a tough time taking care of a sick loved one in the hospital. You don’t really know how much people care until they offer to bring you a meal, send you positive thoughts through texts, or don’t show up at all. Being a caregiver can be burdensome. It is both physically and mentally draining should I say! I am reminded of a few things that helped me get through this process, and I want to share them with you in hopes that you too will find comfort during tough times.

First, Honor the process.  Allow yourself to feel the emotion.  We will all experience rough patches and difficult seasons throughout our life. If we rush through life wishing difficult seasons where over, then we may never truly gain strength or perspective.  For it is in the difficult seasons that push us and cause us to grow. This brings me to my next point, Self-Care. It is crucial that when we experience stress we try and take care of the basics. When I mean basics, I mean we have to eat scheduled meals, have good sleep hygiene, and incorporate some physical activity into our daily life.  I also found myself reading positive quotes and words of encouragement wherever I could find them. I remember listening to calming music in the car on the way to the hospital. I tried to grasp every bit of positivity I could find and meditate on it throughout the day. Lastly, I would tell you that is ok to Ask for Help when you need it. It is ok to accept a meal from a friend, or to call a friend and ask for a meal without feeling embarrassed by allowing someone to care for you.  It’s ok that you don’t have all the answers and don’t know the outcome. Know that you have already survived 100 percent of your worst days.   And no matter what happens in the end, there is always something to be grateful for.

  Angela Medellin

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Growing up I remember my parents teaching me to say “please” and “thank you” and to greet the visitor by shaking their hand. It was about being polite and respectful to others, but most importantly, it was “Follow the Golden Rule”. The Golden rule in my family was to “Treat others the way we want to be treated”. Sounds like a simple concept, right? Well these days with so many children being diagnosed with autism and sensory processing disorders, I would tell parents about the importance of teaching children about The Platinum Rule, which is “Treat others the way they want to be treated” Some children do not like to be touched or hugged and would prefer space or a quiet spot to regulate. While other children may benefit from a tight bear hug or being patted calmly on their back. It’s about teaching our children to be mindful and respectful of others knowing that the way they want to be treated, does not always mean everyone wants to be treated the same way. Here are some ways to help children be mindful of others. Encourage children to respect each other’s space. It’s important for a child to know that it’s not ok to get in another child’s face and yell. One way to teach children about respecting each other’s space is to use a hula hoop and have the child get as close to someone as the hula hoop allows. This can be a practice exercise for young children before starting pre-school or kinder. Another activity that can be done at home is teaching children what to do with their bodies. That means hands are not for hitting, teeth are not for biting others, and feet are not for kicking others. Instead you and your child can come up with creative ways to use their bodies such as hands are for helping, and feet are for walking or running. Lastly, I would teach children to advocate for themselves. If they feel uncomfortable with another child’s play, they should know to say something or walk away and tell an adult. Children that are taught to advocate for themselves can eventually advocate for others! Thanks for reading and hope you found these tips helpful!