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(Pulls out pocket edition of the Silmarillion)

“OH YEAH? THATS NOT WHAT TOLKIEN SAYS”

#lotr #tolkien #first age #middle earth #nerdlife #foolsgottalearn #silmarillion

I’m sorry, but if you have to SAY “this is a serious journey, and not a hobbit walking-party” it’s already too late.

#fool of a took #tolkien #mines of moria #lotr #middle earth

What I’ve learned about defeating darklords in their own strongholds:

Harps=no

Rap=no

Dancing=yes, but only if you’re also wearing an enchanted sleep-cape

#lotr #tolkien #first age #finrod #luthien #fingon

Funny how the Lay of Leithien, basically the Romeo and Juliet of the Quenta Silmarillion, begins with “this is the happiest tale in the whole book” instead of “never was told a tale so full of woe”.

#first age #middle earth #lotr #lotr fandom #beren and luthien #lay of leithian #tolkien #romeo and juliet

Can you imagine Thorin and Co.™ showing up in Rivendell with Bonafide Gondolin blade Orcrist, and Glorfindel being like “ThAt sWOrD iS mInE!!!”

#lotr #tolkien #middle earth #glorfindel #finders keepers #beater and biter #originally belonged to #Glorfindel and Ecthelion

🎶 The Sun is a Deadly

Balrog

#tolkien #first age #lotr #bill wurtz #history of middle earth i guess #silmarillion

I always keep a couple hair ties on my wrist.

You know, in case of Balrogs.

#lotr #learn from others mistakes #silmarillion #tolkien #glorfindel #gotta tie up that hair

My life adheres to a dating philosophy lifted straight from Tolkien’s books.

#burntheships

#dating #tolkien #wordstoliveby #first age #lifequote #middle earth #burntheships

Some of you have not read the Akallabêth

And it shows.

#flat earthers #we’re not in the first age anymore #educate yourselves #there’s a reason we can’t sail to Numenor #second age problems #middle earth #tolkien #lotr

The Children of Hurin in 3 words:

It gets worse

#middle earth #first age #silmarillion #narn i chin hurin #turin turambar #trainwreck #hapless

The Histories of Middle Earth

Are all real-life versions of Bilbo’s writings only instead of Translations from the Elvish by B. B., it’s Translations from the JRRT by C. T.

#lotr #tolkien #christopher tolkien

In a world of Fëanorians, be a Beleg.

#lotr #silmarillion #beleriand #words to live by #say no to kinslaying

Spoiler Alert: Everyone still manages to die in this.

#lotr #middle earth #first age #tolkien #lay of leithien #beren and luthien #still the best chapter in the book

So I did the math, and Elrond half-elven is technically 56.25% elven, 37.5% human, and 6.25% maia.

You’re welcome.

#lotr #tolkien #middle earth #elrond #half-elven #by the numbers #plz dont ask to see my work #lotr fandom

So I’m just suppose to accept that close proximity to a holy silmaril shortened Lúthien’s mortal life while ownership of the one ruling ring actually lengthened Gollum’s?

#first age #lotr #luthien #tolkien #middle earth #bilbo baggins #silmarils #rings of power #how is that fair

It says in the Appendices that King Elessar declared the Shire a free land under the protection of Arnor and then made a law that Men are not allowed to enter it.

I think I detect a loophole...

#tolkien #lotr #lord of the rings #middle earth #fourth age #the shire #lotr fandom #rotk #i am no man

It bothers me that Hope van Dyne can apparently pick locks with a single bobby-pin when I know for a fact that it takes two.

#marvel #mcu #hope van dyne #antman #the wasp #pym particles #im beginning to think its not real

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