[rabidlitmajor]

Noooo don't get a tattoo it's so permanent blah blah blah my tattoo is whatever I want it to be and today it's an octopus

[rabidlitmajor]

Today is my mom's bday so today my tattoo is her favorite key lime pie for her.

[thatdisasterauthor]

Wait. I love this.

[kaijuno]

All Pelicans go to jail challenge

[kaijuno]

[underthehedge]

Pelicans have the exact opposite energy from capybara. Capybara are shaped like a friend, soothing.

Pelicans are shaped like a problem.

[korasonata]

I like that all of these animals don’t even flinch. Just used to it

[wizard-of-docs]

It's a wonderful day at the zoo, and you are a horrible pelican.

[demilypyro]

the biggest problem with therapy is you dont get a reward for doing your best

[demilypyro]

literally how hard could it be to have a little bowl of cookies and you’re allowed to take one

[fadedmoonbeam]

The reward is you working through your …stuff and feeling better about it + finding new and healthier ways to live

[demilypyro]

no

[demilypyro]

[nepofledgling]

mental illness is so embarassing i’ll literally be like I’m fully aware I’m mentally ill but it’s not mental illness this time. and then it was mental illness

[engulfes]

Girl help i clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary

[cipheramnesia]

covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you in dirt, covers you

[tzikeh]

More examples of the WORST mansplaining here.

[useyourblinker]

This might be my favorite

[imeverywoman420]

“You never pretended to be a bride when you were a little girl?” No???? Like literally never?

[sanctuarycove]

I made witch soups in my garden

[miketon]

You heard me! Red as a color does not show up naturally in nature! Anything that seems "red" was actually made by human experimentations or produced by the government! Hope this helps

huh

[miketon]

Actually, in reference to one of your earlier reblogs, red onions are purple because because red, as a color, does not show up naturally in nature! Hope this helps

what

[nealashitposts]

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

[nealashitposts]

I suspect they were trying to keep me busy and distracted while they cleaned up the corpse in the living room?!?

[kagaintheskywithdiamonds]

oh, fair enough

[weeabooparadise94]

[leafinthebreeze-deactivated2026]

[everythingfox]

Khajiit has fares if you have coin

(via)

[dimir-charmer]

Girls will be like Idk why im so unproductive recently and then you ask whats going on in their life and they list eight lifestopping crisies and then say 'yeah but i should be fine :/ '

[vblr-deactivated20220113]

SCREAMING

[kirianthedivorce]

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

[pennbadgleygifs]

No one hates Joe Goldberg more than Penn Badgley himself

[cop-disliker69]

[sprachgefuehle]

"That sounds like a good idea......."-"Is there something bothering you with the idea?"-"No, the idea is GOOD.....🙂"