MinimalistMagpie

Current mood: Dandadan brainrot. Certifiable Nineties kid.

[justgot1]

Protect him

[ontheoutskirtsofnowhere]

What he says at the end, about being comforted around his asexual friend because he doesn’t have to wonder if they want more, hit me hard. Because as a young girl I had mostly male friends, and now as an adult I have almost no friends because I just generally don’t mesh well with other women. And I would love love LOVE to have more guy friends. But every guy that has ever wanted to “hang out” since I left highschool has eventually revealed that they wanted MORE. And I don’t. And I think it has made me paranoid. Now when a guy asks to hang out I tell him right off the bat that I am not interested in anything romantic and likely never will be but I would love to be friends. And they always act all surprised at first. “What made you think that’s what I wanted? No, really, it’s not like that, I just want to be friends!” And invariably they either suddenly don’t want to hang out again after that or six months later they ask me out and are surprised and angry when I turn them down. I guess what I’m saying is I need an asexual bestie of my own.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

[dragon-in-a-fez]

this post is about a lot of things. it's about my ex saying it was manipulative to talk to them in a cute voice because that influenced their emotions. it's also about someone on this webbed site saying being funny is "engagement farming". like yeah every single conversation you have is going to be "manipulative" if your standard for that is "did something with the goal of eliciting a response". if that bothers you go live in a hut in the forest and speak only to the trees. I'll be over here manipulating my friends into being happy by giving them compliments

[dontcallmebymyusername]

Does this count as finding a walrus at your door?

[baddywronglegs]

Absolutely, and definitely less surprising than a fairy

[existencebringsonlypain]

I will concede, in this specific circumstance, it makes more sense

[kata4a]

Ye knowe eek, that in forme of speche is chaunge With-inne a thousand yeer, and wordes tho That hadden prys, now wonder nyce and straunge Us thinketh hem; and yet they spake hem so, And spedde as wel in love as men now do.

chaucer, Troilus and Criseyde c. 1380

[youzicha]

glossary: eek also and even tho at the time prys great value wonder a cause for astonishment nyce stupid spedde succeeded

You know the form of language, too, can change. Within a thousand years, even the words that were most precious then, seem strange and foolish to us; yet they spoke them so and did no worse in love than we now do.

[ahyperactivehero]

obsessed with dungeon crawler carl lately, so enjoy these text posts 1/?

[catchymemes]

blue sunset on Mars is a real phenomenon caused by the way Martian dust scatters sunlight.

Unlike Earth, where sunsets are red and orange due to the scattering of shorter blue wavelengths by our atmosphere, Mars has an extremely fine dust that scatters blue light more efficiently near the Sun.

So during sunset on Mars, the sky turns reddish-brown while the area around the Sun glows a soft blue. It’s the opposite of what we experience on Earth.

NASA’s rovers have captured this eerie sight

[apolladay]

Which one is the best letter in the word “poll?”

P

O

The first L

The second L

Which one is the best letter in the word “poll?”

P

O

The first L

The second L

Remaining time: 6 days 4 hours

[ontheoutskirtsofnowhere]

Is it too soon to add the screencap of the post that talks about how weird it is when all the options are nonsensical and yet there is somehow a clear winner?

[amygdalae]

still fucks me up what a bad rap coyotes get in peoples eyes. like ive talked to people who  see em as like. gross pests who should be culled. theyre literally just as cool as wolves just a lil smaller and less confident. i love them with all my heart to balance out all the coyote haters out there, coyotes rule theyre doing great

[amygdalae]

imagine having hatred in your heart for this beast

[amygdalae]

this post was so fucking funny I literally was just like “I like coyotes I think they’re cool” and so many people fucking hated it. Shut up I’m trying. To enjoy animal

[deluxeloy]

Human: Deal.

Fey: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never fell ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade…

Human: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.

Fey: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell.

Human: So, when do we start?

Fey: …If I may ask you to elaborate?

Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.

Fey: Yes? And you agreed?

Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?

Fey:

Fey, blushing: Ah.

[hayleyolivia]

So good. It deserved some art. 😊

[neenarchive]

infinite changeling glitch

[glorious-spoon]

i don't usually go for crack fic, but there's something really beautiful about fic that takes a cracky premise and plays it utterly straight, to the point of genuine human pathos that's only enhanced by the sheer ridiculousness of what's actually happening

[itseasytoremember]

So this one time I was in a hospital recovering from an emergency surgery on my leg, and had to be there long enough that they had to change my bedding, so, doped up on three kinds of pain meds and antibiotics my dad wheels me into the hallway while the nurses work.

"dad" I say, my eyes barely open "it's Colonel Sanders" while pointing down the hallway. He looks, and at the end of the hallway, there's a portrait of an old man, the donor who paid for the wing of the hospital I'm recovering in.

My dad explains as much to me, and goes "I mean the guy *kinda* looks like him, but why would Colonel Sanders pay for a hospital wing Mississauga Ontario? I think those drugs might me messing with you"

Then the nurse comes out of the room. I go "hey, who is that picture of?"

She looks at the portrait. She looks at me. She looks at my dad. She looks at the painting. She looks at me again.

"you don't recognize the Colonel??"

[evandahm]

i drew a gundam

[gatesofminrathous]

there will never be anything as funny as the mutual disbelief between long form and short form fic writers about each other's style.

short form writers look at people writing 100k+ fics as though this is some sort of talent given as part of a fae bargain, that the commitment required shows some sort of ungodly mental fortitude.

meanwhile long form writers look at people writing 1000 word one shots like god I would cut off my left nipple to be able to say anything concisely. i would love to play with multiple ideas. free me from the shackles of this child I have birthed. i love them but I now must take them to t-ball and doctor's appointments and they're going to destroy everything I own.

[ao3commentoftheday]

[pangur-and-grim]

[just-a-bus]

Is that a pangur and grim reference

[pangur-and-grim]

wait you might be on to something

[andrewkmar]

Bird named Annie

[toasthaste]

according to An Immense World, apparently giant squid eyes are, like, UNREASONABLY large, even for something their size living at those depths. the next largest eyes on earth, blue whale eyes, are less than half the size, and swordfish, who live at similar depths as giant squid and have the largest eyes of any fish, have eyes that could fit inside a giant squid's pupil.

eyes hit serious diminishing returns wrt resource costs vs vision quality as they get bigger, so the question became: what the FUCK do giant (and colossal) squid need to see so badly that they couldn't see with swordfish-sized eyes that's justifying that massive energy cost? that nothing else in the deep ocean needs to see so fucking badly??

turns out the one strength eyes that big really have over much smaller eyes is: seeing large glowing objects in water deeper than 500 meters from an appreciable distance.

sperm whales are the primary predator of giant squid. sperm whales don't glow. BUT! water that deep is full of bioluminescent creatures-- these creatures light up when bumped into. something a sperm whale's size is continuously bumping into those critters, it's just surrounded by a glowing field all the time when it's swimming at those depths, visible from a distance-- if you have the right eyes-- as a massive glowing shape. so basically the only reason to have eyes the size of soccer balls is if you live in the deep ocean and your life depends on having a heads up when a hungry sperm whale lurking around

and also I gotta say, the imagery... the huge lurking threat betrayed only by the ambiguous glowing shape of its movements through the water, is really evocative, if spooky deep-sea games aren't already using that to make things extremely ominous then they should really start

[viralfrog]

[original-character-chaos]