I miss rping as this gremlin anyone cares abt rambly boi?

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@mini-mech-menace-blog
I miss rping as this gremlin anyone cares abt rambly boi?
ah fuck I forgot to RP here didn’t I
“Is that blood? Is that YOUR blood?”
“Noo... it’s... from... some asshole. Yeah. I had to, y’know, knock a few nails loose on their head. Mhm. Not mine.” There’s blood dripping from his mouth. And chest.
Terrible First Meeting Starters
For breaking the ice in the worst possible way, featuring themes including: kidnapping, murder, stalking, injury, monsters, and just general meanness. [Brackets] indicate spaces to include your own words to personalize your ask!
“Wh-who are you? Where are we? Why are we tied up together?!” “You almost killed me, so no, it’s not nice to meet you.” “Oh my god, are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?” “I wondered when you were going to wake up. You almost didn’t survive.” “Get out of my way before I move you myself.” “Please, let me out of here!” “You’re staring like you’ve never seen a [monster/vampire/demon/etc] before.” “Hey. Pretend you were waiting for me. You’re being followed.” “You don’t know me, but something terrible is going to happen.” “You’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.” “Please, someone help!” “You shouldn’t be out here all by yourself this late at night.” “Stop shining that flashlight on me! I’m not a damn ghost!” “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” “Shh, don’t scream! I’m not trying to attack you!” “I’ve never seen anything like you before.” “Stand right there and don’t get any closer!” “Now that you’ve seen this, I can’t let you leave and just tell anyone.” “Ugh, my head. What happened to us?” “Is there a reason you’ve been following me for an hour?” “If you come near me, I will scream at the top of my lungs.” “Holy shit. What have you done?!” “Is that blood? Is that YOUR blood?” “Don’t panic, I can explain!” “I promise you, this isn’t what it looks like.” “I won’t hurt you if you just keep your mouth shut.” “Who are you? Where are you taking me?!” “This is for your own safety. I’ll explain later.” “What the hell was that thing back there?!” “There’s something wrong with me. I need your help!” “Please, someone, there’s been an emergency!” “You can’t leave. You’re a witness and now you’ve involved.” “I’m being hunted, and now they’ve seen you too.” “If you believe in any god, I suggest praying to them now.” “Shh! Hide here, and don’t move a muscle.” “Can I walk with you? I think I’m being followed.” “I’m so sorry. I don’t like tricking people, but I had to lure you here.” “Fuck off, this is private property!” “I’ve seen some weird shit, but you’re something else.” “Oh my god. Are you a [monster/demon/angel/etc]?” “Don’t look at me like that, with those eyes.” “That isn’t your blood. What did you do?” “I promise not to tell anyone, just let me go!” “Come with me. I want to show you something.” “You’re not going to eat me, are you?” “You should never have approached me. You don’t know who you’re dealing with.” “Go away, I’m not looking for a conversation.” “You don’t just follow people to their homes! I’m calling the police.” “Please, I’ll do anything, just untie me!” “I’m sorry if I scared you.” “I had to tie you up. You didn’t leave me any other choice.” “I don’t even know you. What do you mean, I ‘have’ to go with you?” “We almost died back there. Maybe we should introduce ourselves.” “Let go of me!” “I’m hurt. Please, I need you to call an ambulance for me.” “You have to come with me, something bad is about to happen!” “I’m not leaving until you tell me why you’ve been following me!” “Seeing as we may not survive, I should tell you my name. It’s [name].”
@asktheevilstarchild “Yeah yeah, very funny, haha, evil yordle and goat girl eating yordles.” “… th- that was a joke right.”
“I dont share my meals with Veigar. And I am serious, since I’m the main contributor of How to serve Yordle: the cookbook.”
“That is so fucked up, do goats even have meat-eating teeth? What the fuck. I could’ve slept without knowing that. I can’t sleep now.”
@asktheevilstarchild “Yeah yeah, very funny, haha, evil yordle and goat girl eating yordles.” “... th- that was a joke right.”
“I suddenly feel the urge to slap Veigar. Weird.”
That’s called “being normal”. You’ll get used to it.
“Normal? Says the chick with the goat legs and a horn.”
"whats this about slapping?"
Rumble’s hand is already on Vei’s cheek by the time he’s done talking, and after the slap, he uses it to rub his own chin.“Nope, that... didn’t help. Oh well.”
“I suddenly feel the urge to slap Veigar. Weird.”
“... I’ve been gone for a while, haven’t I?” “Huh. Back to T.R.I.S.T.Y. , I guess.”
"Ok I'm starting to think you don't come here to steal everything. The fact I have nothing to steal is kind of a giveaway. Why do you keep coming back..?"
Eve’s face flushed, she was caught off guard by such a brazen accusation.
“Wuh…You’re stupid!” She blurted. Realizing that this was not a great retort, she quickly glanced for the first reasonable excuse.
“…Flamethrower. Imma steal that.” Eve pointed up at the arm of Rumble’s mech. Good answer. Nailed it.
“I’m smarter than half of Bandle. Combined.” Squints as she points too TRISTY’s arm. “And not only would you not be able to carry it, it’d be fucking useless on the market because it’s made of literal trash.” “What do you see on this place? Do you feel comfortable sneaking around shitholes? I get wanting to stay near me, I mean, I am pretty great, but I think you’re hiding something.”
“You’re awful full of yourself for someone who lives in a ‘shithole’, you know that?” Eve snickered. “This place isn’t even that bad. I don’t need my respirator.”
“And of course I’m hiding something. Everyone hides things. You’re hiding your keys, or did you lose them again?”
“Well duh. I’m great. I’m just in a hard spot.” He grumbles, crossing his arms and kicking a large wrench away from him. He probably broke a toe from that. He didn’t even flinch. “Well, you know what I’m hiding.” He smirked, sitting down on a chair. “So how about you tell me what you’re keeping from me, hm~?”
Eve propped herself up on an overturned barrel and gave a dismissive shrug.
“No dice, Bluejay. You ain’t my boss so I dont have to tell you squat. Thieve’s rules~”
“But…” A dopey grin cracked across her face. “You could persuade me with lunch?”
“That’s fair.” He purred, eyes darting around the room looking for something just in case. Lo and behold,a few rusty pipes tied up together. He could just take one... “So, where are we going for that?” He smirked, dropping his arms and walking towards her.
mini-mech-menace :
shadowofdarkin :
@mini-mech-menace Enters the Fray
Aatrox stared silently at Rumble for a long moment. “..I have walked this world for centuries. I have seen the light of the heavens and peered into the darkness of the abyss. I’ve witnessed heroes turning to madness and watched the rise and fall of the greatest empire this world has ever known… But a yordle sitting atop a walking throne of metal? That… Is a new one.”
“One of a kind, baby.” He pulls out a bottle from under TRISTY’s hood, chugging about half of it before throwing it in Aatrox’s general direction. “Now go away, I don’t want to get in a fight today. My back’s still sore from last night and I think I already got fucked enough for a week..” He grumbles, even though he was readying TRISTY’s weapons… just in case.
Aatrox’s fists clenched a little bit. He didn’t care for this yordle’s tone nor attitude. “Your back will not be the only thing that is broken if you dare to give me orders again, yordle. Now tell me: where is the forest god?” Aatrox had been brought to this place by rumors of a ‘forest god’ said to dwell here, and he was fully intent on slaying it.
“Forest God..? I mean.” He blinked, laying back and thinking. He actually looked to be doing it, not simply mocking. “Uh... I guess every once in a while a talking massive tree passes here? There’s also one that spews mist everywhere and it stinks like rotting shit. Yeah go slay’em. I dunnow where to find either of’em but if you do, hell yeah man, put’em down. Try the forest? Not the metal yard though. I’m pretty sure either of them would die just from stepping in this place..”
@mini-mech-menace Enters the Fray
Aatrox stared silently at Rumble for a long moment. “..I have walked this world for centuries. I have seen the light of the heavens and peered into the darkness of the abyss. I’ve witnessed heroes turning to madness and watched the rise and fall of the greatest empire this world has ever known… But a yordle sitting atop a walking throne of metal? That… Is a new one.”
“One of a kind, baby.” He pulls out a bottle from under TRISTY’s hood, chugging about half of it before throwing it in Aatrox’s general direction. “Now go away, I don’t want to get in a fight today. My back’s still sore from last night and I think I already got fucked enough for a week..” He grumbles, even though he was readying TRISTY’s weapons... just in case.
💭
“Doesn’t seem that bad. All I need is to get him to give me that button.. and give him a good time.” Purrrs.
“Shorty?” Pulls Vei closer, and whispers on his ear, softly nibbling it. “You know damn well that’s a lie, dear.~”
“A-ahh~” Vei blushes immensely, looking back at you and wiggles their ears getting it out of your maw. “Y-yeah by two inches, no lie there!”
“Like that’s what I’m talking about.~” He pulls you closer, now nibbling your neck, purring softly.
“Nyah!” They wiggle even more now, trying to surpress their purrs, not wanting to show that they like being nommed upon. They go and turn the tables, ‘accidentally’ falling over and taking rumble with then. “W-woooaahh!!”
Rumble giggles as he lands on top of Veigar, sitting on top of his lap and leaning down, continuing his assault by nibbling Vei’s neck… and getting his hand in some frisky places.
“N-no! Sto-ahahah!” Vei realized that rumble has found a ticklish spot and quickly wiggles even faster now. Feeling his cold hands against their ribs! “Ahahahah!! P-please! Rumble!”
“Got you now.” He smirks, continuing it, and despite being so light in frame.. Veigar was just as light. And Rumble had an advantage. “Nowhere to go, silly~”
💭
“Doesn’t seem that bad. All I need is to get him to give me that button.. and give him a good time.” Purrrs.
“Shorty?” Pulls Vei closer, and whispers on his ear, softly nibbling it. “You know damn well that’s a lie, dear.~”
“A-ahh~” Vei blushes immensely, looking back at you and wiggles their ears getting it out of your maw. “Y-yeah by two inches, no lie there!”
“Like that’s what I’m talking about.~” He pulls you closer, now nibbling your neck, purring softly.
“Nyah!” They wiggle even more now, trying to surpress their purrs, not wanting to show that they like being nommed upon. They go and turn the tables, ‘accidentally’ falling over and taking rumble with then. “W-woooaahh!!”
Rumble giggles as he lands on top of Veigar, sitting on top of his lap and leaning down, continuing his assault by nibbling Vei’s neck... and getting his hand in some frisky places.
💭
“Doesn’t seem that bad. All I need is to get him to give me that button.. and give him a good time.” Purrrs.
“Shorty?” Pulls Vei closer, and whispers on his ear, softly nibbling it. “You know damn well that’s a lie, dear.~”
“A-ahh~” Vei blushes immensely, looking back at you and wiggles their ears getting it out of your maw. “Y-yeah by two inches, no lie there!”
“Like that’s what I’m talking about.~” He pulls you closer, now nibbling your neck, purring softly.
💭
“That lady has a horn on her head. What the fuck.”
“That rat as a giant blue mohawk on his head. What the fuck.”
“…. I like you, weird, goat, lady thing.”
“THING?!”
*bonks him on the head with the staff*
Sighs as it feels more like a gentle boop after getting smashed by his own creations hundreds of times. “Yeah, thing. What the fuck do you expect me to say? Quiagorabola? I don’t know what the hell you are!”
“I’m… your god.”
*silence*
“Oh wait that does not sound right. I’m… one of your gods? But… I kind of changed jobs? Uhhh… HOW DO YOU EVEN EXPLAIN THAT? Are celestial entities even gods in your culture? Maybe an ex-god then? But that was like thousand years ago so does it even count?”
The goat sounds horribly confused.
“Ok you’re one of the space creatures got it. You got a horn, though. That’s pretty dope. It’s weird, but cool. Did you ever impale someone with that? Oh man you’re giving me some sweet, sweet ideas..”
“Why yes, I had the pleasure of working together with Kalista before. It’s not really much a choice if you want to impale someone or not if unholy forces fling you towards your enemies, horn pointed towards them. Whatever ideas this might give you, I’d recommend forgetting them immedeatly.”
“You mean forget giving a cool massive robot a giant spike to ram through people? Yeah, I’ll ignore that. Who’s Kalista? Besides, yeah, tossing you seems like a good strategy… just pick you up and…” He makes a whistling sound, ending up with him making a squelching sound with his mouth. “Everyone’s dead. Yeah, I gotta make some upgrades on TRISTY…”
“Isn’t making uncalled and unwanted penetrations of the bodies of others very frowned upon in most if not all of Runeterra’s cultures? Building such a machine would give you a lot of trouble I’d think…”
“It’s consensual if the both of your are trying to kill each other, I think. Or not. Who cares, I’m going to kill people with it, not rape them. Thanks for the horn idea anyhow, goat lady!”