riivvcrs:
river had always told himself he was better off alone; and he almost believed it too. this sick sort of self-delusion only ever served to made him feel like an even bigger idiot every time nami walked out. he needed everyone else, including his own self-loathing brain, to believe that his life would truly keep on chugging along in a haze of caffeinated drinks and poorly rolled joints and dick jokes. he felt both better and worse when nami came back; maybe because river thought he didn’t deserve it, or because he knew exactly how it would end, since it only ever ends one way. and yet he lets the other boy back in without a second thought. so maybe he should’ve predicted who was on the other side of the door- he hadn’t ordered any postmates today, his roommate wouldn’t knock, and who the fuck else would willingly visit river in his hole of a dorm. and yet he still struggled to veil his surprise when he’d been greeted by the boy that’d willingly walked away from him time and time and time again. he let name speak his piece; he wasn’t listening, not really, anyway, he was too busy sinking into his own head, just like he would any time things with nami started looking up again. there was a beat of silence when nami finished his piece as river tried to shake himself out of whatever sort of sober stupor he had sunk into. “yeah, yeah, you’re uh-” he sounded like an idiot. he cleared his throat before continuing. “you’re good to stay here i guess-” he turns to walk deeper into his own dorm, leaving the door open for the other boy behind him. he’s suddenly embarrassed by the state of his dorm; the half eaten panda express and half smoked cigarette visual hints of how his night was going thus far. “don’t think i’m turning down the tv down for your nerdy bitchass, jim and pam are about to get married.”
if someone were to come up to nami and demand he let go of river or go to class in only his boxers, he would rather end up in jail for public indecency than let the other boy out of his life. he knew it didn’t make sense; the fact that he was the one consistently walking out, but he also always came back. what he never understood was why river let him. the second that river spoke up, nami’s shoulders were relaxing, his eyes lighting up instead. “yeah?” he nodded hopefully before stepping inside, closing the door to the familiar dorm room. he was there almost as much as he was his own; either for elijah or river. it was safe to say those two were the most important people in his life, and both had drastically different personalities. most people would assume that nami couldn’t get along with someone like river, and maybe they were right. maybe their personalities didn’t click, but there was no denying the way that nami felt just being near him. even seeing the slight mess was enough to make nami feel more relaxed, as strange as it was. it wasn’t until river spoke again that more of his usual personality poked out, a pout on his lips as he peered over at the screen. “that’s not fair,” he complained, “how am i supposed to focus when you’re about to watch the last episode of the office?” nose crinkled, he briefly considered sitting down on elijah’s side of the room. it felt like his safe place, but instead he fell back onto river’s bed. his excuse became more obviously a lie for the sake of seeing river as he didn’t bother with even pretending to care about his bag after tossing it onto the ground. “besides, i’m not nerdy. don’t be rude,” he tacked on with a playful scowl. “it’s not like you’re doing super fun, super cool things, either. you’re just watching something you’ve already seen before. do you cry?” he gasped at the thought. “wait... am i interrupting an emotional moment for you and the happy couple? don’t let me come between you! i promise i’ll be extra quiet and i not judge you or take a single photo... mostly because i think a video would really capture it best.”
