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A place for me to vent and attempt to log my daily things. CW:180 UGW:140 Binge free days: 3 I’m trying to recover and get to a healthy place physically and mentally in my life. NO MINORS

[minnie0doll]

I don’t really know what I’m doing, but hello, hi.

I’m Minnie :3

TW

ED

Mental illness

18+

I haven’t been on here in a while! Even when I was using the app, I wasn’t all that active. My account got deleted, though. It sucked, but I’m back and I’ll most likely be spending the next few nights glued on here lol. I’ll be pretty bummed if this gets deactivated, too. Fingers crossed that won’t be the case.

This place is like a safe place to me, really. And if you’re on my account reading this then I’d assume this is a safe place for you too :)

A place for me to vent, write, and express how I’m feeling.

My DMs are [always] open to those who feel the need to share what’s on their mind. Or if you want a new friend! I’ll always try and respond.

[minnie0doll]

I got a therapist. Its been somewhat helpful. Gained weight though and the past two weeks i have been struggling with my appearance and the number on the scale. I feel like i look awful and see all the work i was doing in the spring now gone. Its frustrating when i yo-yo diet and go back and forth. I feel awful not being at a smaller number and looking in the mirror and telling myself, “wow you look so big”. The past few days ive been trying to get back into working out. Sunday was my rest day after working out Friday and Saturday. Yesterday i went on a 6.3 mile hike. Did a bit of yoga but nothing much. And i felt like I ate way too much at night. That seems to be the recurring problem. Ive had breakfast today. Got to remember to stay hydrated. Im going for a walk with my dog later and then I plan to go workout. I want to get cozy and have a good dinner. I dont want to go to bed feeling regret for eating certain foods or too much. I just want to go to bed feeling good about my day and the things i ate.

Im going to try to post more on here as i work on my weight and eating habits.

[minnie0doll]

I think im doing a lot better. Ive lost more fat. I haven’t weighed myself in a while, though. Lately my eating habits haven’t been too great. Ive eaten today only when I was hungry and stopped when satisfied. Drinking bubbly water and water to stop myself from eating foods i dont necessarily want or need. Think im going to do a simple yoga core/glute workout and potentially run or go for a walk. Gonna shower and study after.

I think i need to get a therapist again. When i Finnish my classes this semester i want to officially get started on cleaning my room. Its a mess. Terrible in all honesty. I need to get my shit together. Ive been going to the gym weekly. Going to possibly go to the gym tomorrow with some friends tomorrow. I will see what happens.

[minnie0doll]

I'm trying my best to heal and let go

There were things that i could not control

I kept drinking the cup and pouring some more

Distracting myself, taking words that hurt my soul

The flowers have blossomed

The sky has begun to clear

So why is it your voice that i hear

The memories that I can't seem to forget

Do you feel the same way?

Do you have any regrets?

When the sunsets and im in my room

When the night sky starts to bloom

That is when i deeply miss you

I think about the times that you were here

The times we laughed, danced, sang, and cried

The times you stopped the car and looked in my eyes

You begged for a kiss, it was the pass to go

You always wanted the power and control

Even now I smile at the thought of the memory

But it was a warning of your tune and melody

Aloof and naive I couldn't see it

In the end you'd break me

I finally admit it

[minnie0doll]

I ate yesterday and feel like i had overindulged T-T on the bright side i went from 180 to 168 lbs in ten days but im trying to just stay lower and eat right while working out. Im done being the bigger girl. I need this change. Fasting for 2 days!

[minnie0doll]

so i weighed myself and i am 171.1

REALLY want to get to the 160s

[minnie0doll]

so i tallied up the calories and got a total of 1140 calories.

[minnie0doll]

Broke my 44 hour fast with in n out and i dont feel too bad. Starting it up again!

[minnie0doll]

Rise and shine 🤡

Im pretty sleepy didnt sleep that much, but im up and ready to do some yoga!

[minnie0doll]

Did some morning yoga, belly dancing workout, and went on a 45 minute walk today. Almost at 22 hours of my fast. Gonna drink hella water and call it a night.

[minnie0doll]

Havent had any water today… whoops

Been working on assignments aside from sh and crying to my boyfriend lol

[minnie0doll]

Mad i ate last night wtf. I was doing good all day and i KNOW i can resist the urge. I’ve done it before.

[minnie0doll]

Just walked into the kitchen to eat. WTAF. Ended up sh.

[minnie0doll]

FINALLY turned my essay in. Got some other stuff done, but not too much. Did a belly dance workout and i went on a 35 minute walk. Its so chilly out i think im gonna make myself a hot cup of water or coffee once i smoke.

[minnie0doll]

Been working on the essay. Sort of getting writers block. I’ve got about a page to write. Taking a smoke break and might clean up around my room and come back to it. Hoping i can turn it in before the due time and get this stress of my shoulders.

[minnie0doll]

Woke up an hour and a half late lol not the happiest but what can ya do. Have to finish a paper today due at 9pm and im feelin a little nervous 😅

Gonna check what hour am at for fasting once i finish and submit the paper

[c4rved-pumpk1n]

Gonna take that one person's idea:

If this post gets to... 500k notes by Jan 1st, 2023, I'll recover.

You have two months! Let the game begin >:)