So, we're back here once again... I'm not the most articulate of all those talented and eloquent people in the fandom, but I just need to get in terms with my feelings and offer support to those who haven't been able to.
It’s almost surreal that this is happening a third time to people I really care about (the group and fans). As someone who has seen the group in all it's phases since debut and had to go through the excruciating heartbreak each time, I was certain that this current version of KAT-TUN was the strongest form and would be able to prove all those rumors wrong. I always reassured myself that there was no way this would happen again, but you know, from the beginning KAT-TUN was a group where nothing was impossible. What I thought was impossible for myself was to be able to see them live at least once in my “fanhood.” I am so grateful to say that I had that chance last year and even saw three of them close up. Yes, Kame is as beautiful and flawful in person as you would expect. Yes, Ueda is silly, playful, and utterly adorable. And yes, Maru's nose is as big as it is on TV. Haha, I'm (half) joking, but I could tell he was the one that clearly, but silently took rein and brought everyone together. And although Junno did not pass by me (ugh whyyy), even from afar, you could tell the affect of his brilliant smile and personality on all those fans surrounding him.
A lot of people--especially during these hard times--tend to look at a singular bad thing about someone and forget about all the wonderful things they have given us. I know some are scared to continue loving a group with an uncertain future and a track record of heart break like theirs, but the boys really deserve our support right now (just as they did before) and work so hard to please us that we often don't realize that they have to find their happiness too. That is why I can't even begin to resent Junno for his decision because I want him to feel that same joy that he and the other members have given me as I was growing up.
To Junno: Well, look at you handsome. I can't believe you're almost turning 30 years old when you were just 19 back then. It's bittersweet now knowing the meaning behind those tears you shed during the 9uarter live. I'm not mad at you--to know you've been thinking about such a matter since then and probably way before that. It's actually a relief knowing this decision wasn't made as easy as randomly making an announcement on TV. Thank you for loving KAT-TUN the way you did--for loving them from the start and for not being embarrassed to say it out loud. Thank you for always acting silly in an effort to make it less awkward when 4-nin first started. Thank you for being in Tomodachi-bu with Kame and for often making him realize that he can be childish (that he is the youngest and allowed to act like it). Thank you for calling Ueda “Uepi” and bringing out that softer side of him that we don’t see a lot. Thank you for showing us what musicality Maru has yet to offer. And finally, thank you for being brave enough to announce your intention outright and not inducing anymore bad press on the other members.
But really, how can I not be thankful to you (and both Jin and Koki) when you’re the prime example of what, at one point, being apart of KAT-TUN is about: to never once stop believing that you can do anything at any point of your life. Please continue to support the group as you move on to other ventures and know that we will always be thinking of your well being.
To KAT-TUN (yes, including Junno): I was hoping to say this during your 10th anniversary, but it seems very fitting to talk about where I stand and how I feel toward the group at this moment. My feelings are always ever evolving--what I felt back then isn't even close to what I feel now. I don't think there is any single word or 100 words to describe how special you are to me but I know for certain that I can't imagine /not/ loving you. Spending all of my adolescent years growing up with you and watching you really begin to connect with each other and overcome all that you have has taught me so many things. Kame taught me that as long as you give your all at everything you do, dreams are never forgotten nor will they forget you. Junno taught me that there's nothing more satisfying than seeing smiles on the faces that I love after going through rough times. Ueda taught me that it's okay to go through phases in life and finally become someone you're comfortable being. Maru taught me that (albeit with much difficulty and time) fears are meant to be overcome.
But ultimately, what KAT-TUN taught me is that even if something (in any of its forms) is broken, it doesn't mean that it's not beautiful regardless. Growth is meant to have meaning and is meant to be beautiful. I believe it’s a hard situation for everyone--the remaining members, fans, the agency, and of course Junno himself--but this time, growth for KAT-TUN simply means they will find a way to work as three and come out stronger. So from 6 to 5 to 4 to 3, I’d still like to follow these amazing people until the end (however soon that may be).
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