Rings of Power, Ep. 8 Review - A rant fit for a finale
Ready for my final rant? I shan’t hold back. The show sure didn’t! Here are my thoughts on episode eight:
1. Starting with a bang. Gandalf is Sauron red herring. Believed it for exactly...no seconds.
2. Slow-mo hits a little different when Halbrand’s limp body is slow-mo bouncing on a horse.
3. Pretty sure the three elven rings were made last? And positive they were made in SECRET. AFTER they suspected Sauron was messing with the rings already. And I KNOW the three elven rings were untouched by Sauron. But oh look. Sauron’s going around touching stuff. Literally picks up the mithril that will make the rings.
4. See, Halbrand’s line about giving “a gift” is okay subtlety! One of Sauron’s names meant “giver of gifts.” Plant the seeds slowly. Show him working his way gradually into becoming friends with the elves, then maybe trusted to play around in the forge, then helping make rings for the dwarves, then suspected, then -
No? We’re going to skip all that and immediately suspect him? Awesome.
5. And of COURSE Nancy Galadriel Drew has to be the one to crack the case. She has no reason to suspect Halbrand! He says one thing that Adar says, and he’s immediately a villain to her. Girl, remind me never to be your ally. You are more fickle than a squirrel trying to cross the road.
6. Oh good lord. We have time to shoe-horn Elendil’s daughter into all this?
7. Aaaaaaaaaaand now Sauron’s helping with the actual forging of the three elven rings. So much for unsullied by Sauron’s hand!
8. Elrond talking about how quickly they’re making the rings: “Three weeks for a labor that could take three centuries.”
I don’t know if they’re making fun of us with this, but yes, all this SHOULD take three centuries. Three weeks? We’re seriously going to do the forging of the rings in PART of ONE EPISODE?!
9. HUZZAH! HARFOOT DEATH!
10. The three witchy ladies talk about Gandalf by saying “He is the other. The Istar.” THE other? As if it’s just Sauron v. Gandalf. And *gasp* This guy is Gandalf?! Who would have guessed?!
11. Because Gandalf spoke to that moth in the movies, he’s mothman now?
12. They’re really going to end the season with the lie that Isildur is dead?
13. The Sauron reveal. Okay, buckle up.
So Galadriel gets suspicious and SUPER mad at Halbrand when she discovers he’s not king of the Southlands. Problem is, SHE is the one who insisted that that was his identity! SHE was the one who told all of the Numenoreans that he was king! SHE was the one who poked and prodded him to take up that title! This reveal has no weight for many reasons, one of them being it is a lie GALADRIEL CREATED AND PERPETUATED.
Then we get the reveal, and man oh man. One vague accusation, and they have Sauron go completely mask-off and smile like an over-the-top villain. All he’s missing is a mustache. Where is the master manipulator?! He could EASILY twist her suspicions.
Then Sauron proceeds to point out fact after fact after fact. Ultimately, Galadriel is the reason Sauron is a villain again. Kill me. Gone is Galadriel the hero. In her place is now a woman with a guilty conscience trying to clean up the massive mess she made.
THEN, the temptation scene. Some cool visuals of the reflections in the water, but why does Galadriel’s temptation have to be tied to her romantic attractions. She can’t be tempted by power for its own sake? She has to be lured in by a sexy face and a soft lilt to the voice? Which, fine...if we didn’t already know her as someone who consistently throughout Tolkien is drawn to the idea of power without the need for all that.
I’m so over these showrunners who constantly bragged about their strong female characters. You have single-handedly stripped this goddess of a character to be a sniveling, obnoxious, self-righteous piece of cardboard who has every single step of her journey defined by the men that surround her. Now, as the final insult, you make her quest to save Middle-Earth tied to her sexuality and a made-up guilt rooted in creating the very monster that will nearly destroy everything in the world. I. HATE. THIS. SHOW!!!!!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. Sauron’s final threat is to remind Galadriel that he lives because of her. She replies, “And you will die because of me.” This is her promise. SHE will be responsible for Sauron’s defeat. Not only have you diminished Galadriel, you are now diminishing the ring-bearers who actually bring about Sauron’s demise. THEY’RE LESSENING THE HEROISM OF FRODO AND SAM!!!!!! You come for Sam and Frodo, YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Let’s get back to the stupid elven rings thing.
14. Elrond says the rings must be untouched by hands other than elves’. Look at that. Even the show insists the three rings shouldn’t be touched by Sauron. The show that just showed him touching them five minutes ago.
15. The Harfoot goodbye takes FOREVER.
16. “Always follow your nose.” Good. Freaking. Grief. See, in another show, I might have been delighted with this line. I might have smiled with glee and cried, “Gandalf!” But no. That which is beautiful is soured by the foul fingers of these greedy, talentless showrunners.
17. I’m so confused by the picking and choosing. So in some ways they try to match the Jackson aesthetic (Balrog, basic elven and hobbit design, Sauron armor, etc.). Then they go and totally ignore it in others, specifically the design of the three rings.
18. I still can’t believe they showed their hand. Their two big mysteries: Sauron and Gandalf, and they revealed both in a single episode and in the first season. AND they forged the three rings.
19. P.S. I hate the credits song.
20. Random things of note: Lol, no balrog. No Theo and fam, thank goodness. No Isildur?
I hate it all, but at last, it. is. DONE.
dededos
turnnoffyourmind
stormborns
blakekathryn
