Scribbles & more Scribbles

I'm a neurodivergent lil' bundle of fluff who loves to write. Poetry, fantasy, romance & of course scribbly nonsense. I also happen to be the Queen of Unicorns. Peace, love & Unicorn hugs my sweet ones!

[miryoku7]

In God’s embrace

I lost a cousin last Tuesday. I don’t know what to say, except that it hurts. She was a fighter, a bold person with a strong spirit. She had a beautiful aura that radiated off of her. She was someone I looked up to, the cool older kid whose attention I pined for. I am forever grateful that she was a part of my life, and I’ll love her always. You will be missed Diane

[miryoku7]

I am inspired by your poetry and was wondering if you can read mine~ If given the permission may I message you?

Hello my friend,

I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now. You’ve touched my heart. Thank you for your kindness. I would love to read your poetry. You can message me when you have time ^-^

[miryoku7]

I did it!

I’ve written and published a poetry chapbook! I didn’t think this could ever happen, but it did. Dreams *can* come true. Don’t give up.

If you’re interested you can purchase a copy of my book here: 

Amazon ca: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B091F1B95T

Amazon com: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B091F1B95T

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B091F1B95T

[miryoku7]

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY MY WONDERFUL DARIUS!

I miss you my sweet. Every day, I miss you. I’m grateful that I have all those beautiful memories you gave me. Thank you for being in my life, thank you for your love. Happy birthday my amazing boy. You would of been 22 today, big man! I did something really special for your birthday in honor of you. I released a book! Can you believe it! I hope you’re proud of me. I did it! Just like we talked about years ago. Thank you for always believing I could. I love you Daruis.

[miryoku7]

Happy New Year everybody! Last year was a mess for many reasons, but with this new year comes hope. Hope for better things, better health, better days. My hope is that this new year brings you all joy, health, love and new possibilities. Most of all, I wish you all the best things that life can offer. Don’t give up on your dreams. Spread love, give kindness. stay safe, be well. Allons-y lovelies!

[miryoku7]

Wakanda Forever

You have inspired a new generation of warrior kings. Your strength and kindness have moved hearts. Thank you for the light you gave this world. Find peace now, dear one. Good night.

[miryoku7]

A cruel mistress

Bipolar is a cruel mistress. Just like that, it can tear you apart and you’re left in pieces having to build yourself up over and over again.

I entered a poetry contest recently, it was supposed to be fun, it’s over now, I’m runner up, and it’s not fun anymore. It doesn’t matter that my poem has over 70 likes on twitter, it doesn’t matter that people are proud of me. That people are congratulating me. That I won with one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. My mistress has taken the situation and twisted it into something ugly. She screams at me “Runner up?! That was all you could do?! You know this is it right? You’ll never go higher than this. To be honest it’s a miracle you won anything. You barely get seen, you barely get likes, no one knows your name, you think you’re some queen, Gods! You are SO PATHETIC!!! NOBODY CARES!”. She beats me with her fists, kicks me with her feet and leaves me to stew in my pain, loneliness, and now regret.

I regret entering the contest. I regret going outside my comfort zone, opening my heart, and sharing my art. I really thought she wouldn’t find me this time. How stupid of me. She always finds me.

This is my life ladies and gentlemen, this is my struggle. This is the war inside me that I fight every moment of every day. This is what having a bipolar brain is, not knowing when your treasured moments will turn to ash.

[miryoku7]

I Hide

[miryoku7]

Dreams

[miryoku7]

Constellations

[miryoku7]

To the future Adrienne T. Nugent

Here you are, freshly 42. Diagnosed bipolar, your world all new. I hope you’re reading this at 50 heck even 44. I hope you’re still fighting and getting more. More joy, more love, more confidence, more success. I hope you realize that you are truly blessed.

Rhyming aside. You did it. You who once swore you wouldn’t make it past 19, but you did. Not only did you live, you found love, and grew a family. 

You’ve suffered, oh Lord have you suffered, but you prevailed, and most importantly, it. Did. Not. Change. You. Those who showed you cruelty did not make you cruel yourself.

Now you walk a path of love and self discovery. You’re on the cusp of something beautiful. Stay in the game. You’re writing, you’re sharing, you’re spreading love & positivity, and you’ve found people who accept you. YOU, as you are.

I hope you read this later in life Adrienne T. Nugent, you queer, brown, magical, Unicorn Queen. I hope you learn to apologize to no one, about who you are, because who you are is amazing, who you are is important. Who you are is everything. 

I love you

[miryoku7]

[miryoku7]

The Kiss

We kissed

And reality cracked

Then exploded

Into a symphony of lights

A joy of the soul

A heaven on earth

  -Adrienne T. Nugent-

[miryoku7]

A tough few days

Well, I’ve had a couple of pretty tough days. I’ve been feeling very low lately. A lot of factors have led up to this. There’s just been so much going on in my life. On top of that I’ve had some major emotional milestones. Like going to my first group session (over the phone of course, because you know) for individuals who are bipolar. Did I ever even officially announce I’m bipolar on here? (let me go check...) Yup, I did. 

So one of the things that’s been happening with me since my new meds is that my emotions are a bit more focused. Like before I used to kind of be a bit all over the place, and everything would trigger me. Now only very specific things will trigger me. I now know criticism will trigger me, it seems any kind will do it. I thought someone was criticizing me and I had a anger episode. This is an uncontrolled angry state where you can feel this intense rage. That’s what it felt like to me. There’s not a lot of info out there on it, but it does exist. I think it needs to be talked about much more.

The situation that I went through ended with me isolating myself (so I had some control) and punching my bathtub, busting my pinky knuckle in the process (It’s alright now, almost). After that (through the bathroom door), it was explained to me multiple times and with a calm tone that it wasn’t the person’s intent to criticize me at all. Once my brain understood that, every ounce of rage instantly disappeared and it was as if nothing upsetting had happened at all. In fact, I had trouble recalling being upset just mins. after. 

So from this I learned what one of my triggers are, what can happen and that I need to avoid or learn how to tune out said trigger. That I’ll need to tell my therapist about it so we can figure out a way to at least manage (if we can’t stop) the rage during an episode so I don’t hurt myself, or someone else.

All in all I’m feeling pretty good with my progress. I dare say I’m proud of myself. I’m making progress.  (I came back to edit out the fact that I said progress twice, very close together, but y’know what, this is me. Sometimes I’ll write strangely) ^-^

[miryoku7]

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY My lovely Darius!

I’m going to try something different this year. I usually lay in bed in a terrible mood crying all day, but I’ve been surviving a lot of things lately, and I think you would be proud of where I’m going with life. So I’m going to light a candle for you, and play a video game for the both of us. I mean I’m going to try and do that. I mean I am crying, but I’m also writing this too. God I miss you so much. So very much. 

[miryoku7]

Comments are go!

You can now comment on my stuffs! That’s it, that’s the post. Love you, and wish you blessings.

[miryoku7]

New year, new phase of life, new theme!

I’ve decided to change my theme! Things have been going a bit bonkers lately. Last week I was  hospitalized for depression, found out I’m bipolar, changed my meds, and Animal Crossing New Horizons is coming. That’s a lot! Plus I’m writing more, and decided I want to try to publish a poetry book this year! Since new beginnings are happening I decided I could use a new theme. I may try a few but I’m thinking I like this one. Getting used to my new reality is tricky, so this is all for now, as I am quite tired. Love you.