fragile

[dinuguan]

[mcmangos]

these are the only two human emotions

[theboywhoreadsbooks]

Me, looking back at how many books i used to read: I love that bitch, she was going places.

[strawberryspoons]

Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future

[ohnoshedied]

[c3rvida3]

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[drivablecar]

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

[c3rvida3]

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

[sushie]

got crunchy joints. crispy bones. popcorn ankles. pop pop pop pop thats me gettin out of bed

[memewhore]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[illkim]

[toomanylokifeels]

I’m so tired. I just wanna curl up in Thor’s big muscular arms and use his bara titties as firm pillows for my aching back and neck. He could summon some rain for ambiance as I slept, too. Gosh Thor would be so good for nap time. I don’t even care about how staticy my hair would get, and if he had to adventure??? Just put me in one of those toddler slings strapped to his chest, I’ll drool all over it. He’d let me do that too. He’s just so good. 10/10 quality naps.

[shelb-o-baggins]

which one of the guardians of the galaxy wrote this

[scarletjedi]

Drax

[tygermama]

they all want this, Drax is just the only one brave enough to write it down

[nxse-bleed-deactivated20180809]

a bitch just wanna watch horror films & be held, u know?

[twentyonegirls]

who are you fucking

im fucking tired bitch that’s who

[trnstlanticism]

MY SISTER SENT ME THIS AND I AM LOSING MY FUCKDKFN MIND

[hand]

it WAS for him

[catwithbenefits]

[knotctopus]

This also happened in Santiago de Chile. The dog thought everyone was there to see him.

[ghostyrd]

[psychedelic-croutons]

These vines are my life

[lionesstaylor]

i am on the fucking floor DYING

[too-cool-for-facebook]

Let us watch as this man’s life devolves

[speakswords]

This video reads like this man has been placed under a curse and he is physically incapable of resisting the cup shuffle

[hellyeahrihannafenty]

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

[dr0wnedperfectionist]

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

[eroscestlavie]

every time i watch this when the reveal hits and he starts dancing i’m like “oh ok that ain’t a big deal he’s just another celeb doing a gimmick” but somehow by the end of this video without fail i am filled with respect for him and zendaya for being like…a powerful gen z couple who both give off chaotic bisexual vibes 

i think it’s the irreverence with which he splashes the water 

[feistyfrank]

that was a classic that was a classic

[thelovelylights]

It’s a good time to remember that Tom Holland is a trained dancer and that initself is a gift

[professorsparklepants]

He’s trained in ballet, too, which is what makes this even funnier. I saw a video (also with Zendaya in it) of him doing like, fifteen fouettes in someone’s basement. GET A MAN WHO CAN DO BOTH.

[egg690]

I FOUND IT!!