The Misery Collections

A compendium of the horrifically fantastic going-ons of a small town

[miserycollections]

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[miserycollections]

A PSA

All bathroom cabinets in Marcus Ward will be leaking black sludge from 2am to 6pm. Do not look at the sludge. Do not interact the sludge. We know that it smells bad. But there are dire consequences for those who ignore our instructions. The sludge will be gone at the scheduled time.

Another billboard has come to life and is currently on the loose. This billboard has been dubbed with the name Kyle, and exhibits an ability to change the poster displayed on its face at will. It was last seen with a "Tchivsky's Levitation Night" poster in Avery Ward. Report any signs of movement.

The Underground Tunnels are closed for repair. It is recommended that you learn teleportation, or learn the Old Crow Song until the Tunnels reopen.

--Taken from the community billboard in the Rec Center. There are no Underground Tunnels...right?

[miserycollections]

The moon was bright and full, visible even as the waning sunlight cast a purple glow on the remaining clouds.

I watched as they drifted lazily around the celestial body, and soon they covered its face, cutting off its light.

This was a mistake.

A single blade of red light fell to the ground , slicing its way through the offenders.

The clouds screamed; not an audible one, mind, but one you heard with your very soul. Scarlet bled into the clouds, creating a beautiful corpse. The moon stared at the town of Misery like a bloodshot eye.

I stared at the spot where the light fell, and I shudder to think of what would happen if it had fallen on someone.

The stars themselves cower from the moon, their light dimming to avoid offending it.

[miserycollections]

Today In Misery

Time stopped.

For a few hours actually. 

I only know this because a few of the townsfolk and I were able to move around in this frozen world. Apparently this is a regular occurence, and a few were excited (mostly retail workers and a few of my fellow students) while others saw it as a nuisance. 

I noticed that it was only humans that moved around in the frozen world--I could approach angels and demons with no repercussions, or I could see a mermaid in mid arc; I could even catch up to the elusive peacock that runs around my neighborhood.

According to Lucas, the boy who wears welding gloves everywhere, the time stop is for those born under certain constellations. Which one is on a cycle, and apparently its the Dancer’s turn. 

Most people use the opportunity to cut class or steal from the convenience store; the more responsible ones use the time to catch up on their work.

I....used it to read. I had a lot of books to catch up on, and hours of time that didn’t pass? Of course I abused it.  

[miserycollections]

The Beach

Micah Prince invited Julia to a party at Rock Coast, the beach characterized by broken stones and ship sinker boulders that was a popular swimming spot for the MSAA students. Feeling that I needed to expand my social circle, Julia...strongly suggested that I should come with. 

She also said that I had to bring grilled chicken. That was non-negotiable. 

When we arrived, the Coast was buzzing. A virtue of being popular Micah Prince, I suppose. Old faces and new mingled, some of them friendly. A few of them were posturing while slightly cutting into their ego. Some were playing games, throwing around a ball or skipping stones into the water. There was a circle around a pentagram made of rope that held a snake eye trapped in amber in the center; and the circle was chanting around it. Julia pulled me away from them before I could question it.

Micah was talking to Sara and Kurt when we arrived, and waved at us to acknowledge our arrival. Sara smiled at Julia, but then glossed over me and went back to the Prince. Kurt, however, purposely caught my eye, and gave me the glares to end all glares. The boy who was already soaking wet had complete hatred and malice in his eyes. Readers, I definitely shrunk into myself. The look was only broken when Lucas threw a chunk of chicken at him, and Kurt broke away from his conversation to give his brother a verbal lashing.

Lucas carrying chicken brought my attention to the only constant among the gathering: everyone had grilled chicken. In a bag or a bucket, or a plastic case or a plate, the scent of chicken filled the air. 

Micah clapped his hands to get everyone’s attentions. “Is everyone ready to dive in?” He was met by a raucous response. Micah did that smirk that meant something was about to go down, and opened his container. “Let’s give the mermaids what they want!” 

I paused for a bit, but everyone else grabbed their chicken by the handful and threw them into the black water. Julia elbowed me. “Come on. They won’t let you swim unless you give them an offering.”

My curiosity got the better of me. I lifted my own plastic bag and removed the chicken, chucking it with everyone else. 

A few seconds of silence was all there was. Then bubbles rose to the surface, growing into frothing. Then....the creatures. 

Grey scaled beasts with shark like tails emerged from the depths, their razor teeth tearing into the feast we gave them. Some arced like dolphins to grab at the chunks while others clawed at the scraps. When Julia saw my awed...slack jawed face, she leaned in. “They’re the Rock Coast Mermaids. They’re cool if you feed them...unlike the other Mermaids.” 

I gave her an incredulous look. 

When the creatures vanished, and the frothing died down, Micah whooped and ran into the sea. The rest of the party cheered and followed after him. I kept glancing at the water, and with a heavy sigh followed at their heels. I had no reason to not trust them....though those teeth would stick with me for a while...

[miserycollections]

I AM NOT WHAT YOU THINK I AM. -CB

[miserycollections]

Ymc det vwmt kbs twyda umc? I've tried every single cipher I can think of for it, everything from Rot and base, ceaser, and like 30 others but can't figure it out, double layered? Or just a more complex one? -Codebreaker

[miserycollections]

His Name Is Kurt

His name is Kurt. 

The boy who is always soaked to the bone. While he didn’t give me his name himself, his older brother, Lucas [the one who wears the welding gloves everywhere] happily gave it to me.

Kurt has no friends by choice. Anyone who approaches him is immediately met with a paragraph long verbal lashing. 

He’s always wet, as if he had just crawled out from the ocean. It is not sweat either; the custodian Principal Lee Anders has assigned to him claims that it is actually lake water. How she acquired this information, though, she wasn’t keen on giving. 

[miserycollections]

Today In Misery

Everyone had to take shelter in their nearest building today as a massive swarm of demons flew over the school.

They choked the windows and covered the walls, and the buildings creaked when the motes squeezed.

Misery was known for its high Angel-Demon population, but this was an insane number even for the town.

The demons struggled to get in for a few minutes before they started to disperse. When the demons left some openings the braver kids decided to go and check what was happening.

According to them, Lee Anders was walking around the grounds with no protection at all, screaming at the demons through a megaphone. "Disperse! Disperse! Disperse!" Wandered into the classrooms as more and more demons retreared.

The whole ordeal was 10 minutes long, and class resumed shortly after.

[miserycollections]

Lot 47

I've began to notice that most people keep track of when Colem Arth dies somewhere. When I asked why, they turned me to the dark science majors who live in Aspen Ward.

The dark scientists have discovered a weird side effect to Colem's curse. When he dies 4 times in a single place, nothing else can die in that place. They have extra stipulations, such as:

Dying 2 feet away from the location of the first death counts as dying there

The effect covers a maximum of 2 acres

The effect doesn't prevent woundings, unless the wound in and of itself would prove fatal.

Though they aren't prevented, wounds are meaningless. Fingers can be reattached, and cuts close immediately. The wounds are only permanent if they are still there when the victim leaves said area, upon which normal healing resumes.

This has only happened three times. The first place is, obviously, Colem Arth's house. They say he uses it as a safety zone when he gets sick of the whole dying thing, and that sometimes when he's absent he's just hiding at home to avoid getting hit by a truck or something equally terrible.

The second one the dark scientists refuse to tell me about. They gave no reason why.

The third site is the most well known location and the site where the 2 acre rule was discovered.

This is site is called Lot 47.

Lot 47 is a vacant field outside of Marcus Ward that was supposed to be a new shopping centre to attract tourists, but lost it's funding at the last moment. Now it's over grown, reclaimed by the woods and littered with random steel pipes and piles of cinder blocks.

Kids use it for LARPing.

"What? That can't be right." I wasn't sure I heard the dark scientists correctly.

But they confirmed it. The day before the weekend, starting from right when school ends to when the sun sets, ayone from fhe sixth grade and below uses the Lot as the site of war games and intense LARPs. Since the plants there never die and are also subject to the healing rule, they don't have to worry about set up and clean up only involves reattaching severed limbs, which is why its so popular, or so the dark scientists claim.

(A few even admit to having played there when they were at MSAA, and that the only reason the sunset rule exists is because Demon Collectives like to stalk the Lot at night.)

Still sensing my disbelief, the dark scientists told me that there was Capture the Flag scheduled the coming weekend, and told me to be there and I would see. They refused to answer my questions about why Colem was at Lot 47 enough times for it to be a "No-Kill Zone" or what even causes the effect. I was left with more questions than answers.

Instead, I simply went to Lot 47 the day of Capture the Flag.

They brought actual weapons. Sharpened swords, axes, pocket knives, one kid brought a bow and arrows without practice tips. No one was allowed to unsheathe their weapons until they passed a (presumably) stolen street sign with '47' spray painted on it. They quickly broke up into teams and ran into the Lot. A few moments later, an airhorn broke the silence, and the games began.

I simply wandered around the Lot, observing. The kids did hack each other to pieces....sort of. Cuts didn't bleed. Limbs fell off, and the person who lost it would just groan or give their attacker a stink eye and pick up the limb, then run away. One sixth grader got his head cut off. His attacker helped him fix it on, the previously beheaded kid simply said thanks, then ran away.

The bow and arrow kid shot me by mistake. It hit me in the thigh, and I cried out from shock. But....I didn't feel it. There was no pain or anything. I could feel it wiggling around inside of me, but it was more like having a finger pressed really hard on my thigh than being stabbed. The kid ran up, said "You aren't playing right?" And asked for his arrow back. I pulled it out no problem, and there was no blood on it. I checked my thigh, and there was no wound. All the damage it did was saved for my jeans. The kid gave me a quick sorry and ran off to rejoin the fight.

As promised, the end of the game was signaled by another airhorn when the sun began to set. At this point I was hanging closer to the edge to avois getting accidentally maimed again, but as the airhorn went off, I noticed a few figures beginning to approach. Shadowy, indescript figures with a bunch of red dots across their form, slowly approaching the Lot....

I got pulled away by a larger sixth grader who said we had to go "NOW". He pulled me away, back towards where the kids had entered the Lot, and I could still feel the shadows watching us leave....

The coming school day I asked Mr. Lingua the talking aardvark about Lot 47. He kind of shrugged and said "No ones getting hurt." Which I guess is sort of right....

The older adults in town seem to want to forget about Lot 47 in general....

[miserycollections]

REMINDER

Repeated asshatitude will result in the revoking of the Moon. Remember, I gave it to you and I can take it away.

A message forced into mine and parent's heads at 3am. The voice sounded like a cheery young woman to me, and a wizened old man to my parents.

[miserycollections]

Building 17 Part 3

I was told that writing about what happened would help me cope.

I wasn't going to write this part. I was just going to write about meeting the Gentry, or the history of spirits, and hope that everyone would forget.

But I have to cope.

And nothing else has helped.

No one will believe me anyways.

He saw to that.

...

Here's what happened.

Prudence offered my blood to the spirit that was holed up in Building 17, and the vines retreated to let us in. Lee Anders wrapped silver cord around my wrist and Prudence's, then put a magical shield that looked like it was thrown together in some dark garage im under an hour over himself.

Lee Anders rushed in. Didn't even wait for me and the Oracle. I thought he wanted this to be over with.

I was stupid to believe that.

When we entered, the halls had been reclaimed by nature. The lights had been destroyed, so everything was only illuminated by glowing motes of spore. Moss covered everything, and the vines has broken inside and trapped the walls and lockers in the world's most uncomfortable death hold. Red flowers bloomed along the lengths of these vines, spewing out the light motes. Lee Anders was nowhere to be seen, but he only had one direction to go.

Building 17 was one of the shorter buildings, so we came across the first body pretty quickly. The vines had wrapped around his throat, and spewing from his mouth was one of the red flowers. I stopped Prudence when she tried to step forward.

"That's Colem. He's....fine." I grimaced. I still wasn't used to seeing his dead body. And I could only imagine him trying to scream, trying to claw away at the vines as they crushed his throat--

I closed my eyes and turned away.

The second body wasn't too far away. We probably would have missed it, were it not for the faint "....help....help me please..."

"By the Ten," Prudence covered her mouth. "She's still alive."

The girl with the pink hair who fixed the internet was being pinned to the wall near the ceiling by her ankles, waist, and wrists. A single shoot speared her thigh, and was budding. The girl sniffed, and tried to reach to us. "Help me...please..."

Prudence drew her knife, but the vines must have...sensed it somehow, because the shoot going through her thigh twisted, drawing a gasp from the girl. Prudence lowered her weapon. "Shit...."

I rolled my sleeve up and removed the bandage. "Help me up."

Prudence dropped her knife and grabbed me by the hips, lifting me towards the girl. I grit my teeth as I shoved my fingers into the cut, then smeared my blood onto the shoot going through her leg. It retreated, and the girl's eyes clenched shut. I started to paint the vines holding her up with more of my blood.

"How did you know that would work?" Prudence asked.

"It got us in here..." I thumbed over the vine holding her waist, and the girl fell to the lockers with a groan.

Prudence cursed and set me down, then uncerimoniously dragged the girl from the lockers into her arms. "She needs help now...." My neighbor looked at me. "Stay here. Don't move until I get back."

I was about to protest, but the girl was limp in the Oracle's arms. So I swallowed my fears, and nodded. Prudence held the girl with pink hair close to her body, and carried her out. Once she passed Colem's body, I couldn't see her anymore.

I waited for her. The light from the spores wasn't enough; I could barely see. And what I could see, I didn't want to. Destruction. Blood. Bodies that we had missed, only visible when the spores wandered into a classroom.

Colem was staring at me.

There was a twig snap. I looked around, wondering where it came from.

Another snap. Closer. I quickly scoop up Prudence's forgotten knife and point it towards our destination. Where Lee Anders had run off to.

Snap.

The principal stepped from the shadows, hands in his pockets. "Mr. Page?" He looked around. "Cautiousness, Wisdom, Judgement....?"

"What?"

"Your neighbor."

"Prudence? She left to help a student."

"Ah." Lee Ander's gaze drifted. He wasn't focusing on me....more like something behind me. I glanced over my shoulder. There was nothing there.

"Follow me, Mr. Page."

I didn't like the finality in his voice. He sounded like a doctor who was telling his patient that nothing could be done anymore.

"I don't want to."

Lee Anders frowned. "Follow me, Mr. Page." There was a sudden weight to his words that pulled me forward, no matter how much I told my legs not to move.

We seemed to walk for an eternity. I held the dagger close to me, and watched Lee Anders's back; when we walked into a patch of darkness, I still felt myself being pulled towards him.

Suddenly, a pinprick of light broke the darkness. I had to squint against it, but I couldn't stop from approaching its source.

I gaped. "Is that....?"

"The Spirit Seed." Lee Anders smiled wickedly. A pale rose that was larger than my body cast its light on us; it hurt to stare, but I couldn't look away. "A single string of the spiritual world pushing its way into the real world to take a form that our minds can comprehend." The principal let his hand hover over the petals, but he didn't touch them. "And soon, it will open and spit out a Spirit proper."

"Shouldn't we....shouldn't we get rid of it?" I readied the dagger. "Before the spirit comes out?"

"After all the trouble I went through to get it here?! No chance!"

"You what!!"

"Spirits raise the vibrations of the Prana field. Having even one nearby lets one accomplish great feats of spellwork!"

"You--you destroyed a building! You killed students and maimed others!"

"These things always have a small measure of risk! As well as some sacrifice."

I felt myself step forward. "What? No, stop--"

"Unmisted blood is a rare delicacy. Your presence here really is a blessing."

My hands shook as I tried to cling to the dagger, but my hands flew open and it sunk into the grass. "I thought you weren't going to feed me to the spirit!"

"I lied."

"You're supposed to protect your students!"

"The needs of the many outweigh the pining of the few."

My eyes widened as the flower bloomed, and out stepped a wolf, who had wispy flesh and possessed blue eyes that trailed light. It had a gash in its size that leaked some kind of dark green fluid. It looked emaciated, and kept its head low as it trudged forward.

My hands rose into the air, and Lee Anders bent down to scoop up the dagger, and sliced one of my palms open. I clenched my eyes shut and tried to close my hand, but it refused to obey.

"I offer you this unchanged sacrifice. Pure human."

I tensed. "I don't want to die!"

"He is--what the fuck?"

I opened my eyes at the outburst, and....the cougar was approaching. It rubbed its muzzle against my hip, and I dropped to my knees. I flexed my hands, and they responded. I could control them.

The cougar strode forward and nuzzled the wolf, who closed its eyes and returned the gesture.

Lee Anders stared at the exchange. "Cougar, what's going on?"

The cougar lifted its paw, and used its teeth to rip it off. It was already regrowing when she threw the extremity at the wolf's feet. It snapped it up, and swallowed it in a single gulp. The gash on its side closed, and the cougar began to lick away the green fluid.

Lee Anders put his hand on his hips. "Cougar, you have some explaining to do."

I winced at his carefree voice, and the cougar glanced between me and Lee Anders. Then she rose on her hind legs and clawed Lee Anders' cheek. He fell to the ground. "Gah! Son of a whore!"

The cougar nudged the wolf with her muzzle, and they walked back the way they came. Lee Anders sat back up, pulling his hand away from his cheek. It was already healed. "Hey, come back!" He shook his fist at the duo. He sighed.

The flower eventually vanished, leaving the motes to be the only source of light. I immediately ran away from the man who tried to murder me. The hall seemed much shorter now.

I ran into something and swung my good hand at it. "No!"

Prudence wrapped her arms around me. "Hey! Hey what's going on?"

I looked up at her, then buried myself into her grip and broke down. She didn't push forward, and simply led me out of the building.

....

The next day was the worst day of my life.

The only positives were that Prudence and her Sisters excommunicated Lee Anders from the Church of X--he wasn't allowed to call on their help ever again.

A local newscast called Lee Anders a hero, and said that he went in to Building 17 by himself to drive out a rogue Fey and reopen the classes. I had gone to some of the students to ask what had happened, and they all claimed that Prudence and I were never even there. I had thought, okay, most of them weren't even paying attention.

But then I went to visit the girl with the pink hair, whose name was Ashes Kane, didn't remember. She said that after Colem died, Lee Anders came in and pulled her down.

Everyone's memories were altered. The only one who remembered was Prudence.

I didn't go to school for a few weeks after that. Whenever I was about to go, I broke down and panicked. Hence the...the therapy.

....

This is the only true record of what happened.

After the event, only one thing really brought me comfort.

I was sitting on my porch, clinging to a mug of coffee that had long since become cold. Micah Prince was walking home and glanced over at me and saw that I was there. He came over and took a seat next to me.

"Haven't seen you in a while." He took out a candy cigarette and started chewing on it. "I'm starting to miss your hounding and questions."

I simply stared at my coffee at the time. Micah sighed. "What happened to you man?"

I shook my head. "You won't believe me."

He held the box of candy out to me. "Try me."

I looked over at him, took one, and told him the story. The story I told all of you.

[End of Building 17]

[miserycollections]

Building 17, Part 2

"You need my WHAT?" I had to take a step back. What would you do, Readers, if your principal asked for your blood?

Said principal casually drew a knife from his belt. "Your blood. The creature in there wants an offering."

"I would hope you knew better than to call a spirit a creature, Mr. Lee Anders." Prudence took the knife away from him. "That looked really threatening...."

"I'm a principal."

"Did you say a spirit?" I interjected. "Spirits haven't been seen in centuries..."

"Just because they aren't seen doesn't mean they aren't there. You're made of cells, no? Atoms? Quarks and gluons?"

"I-I guess....but--"

"Besides, magic can't hurt them."

"Nor should it." Prudence gave the principal a look. "The spirit should be appeased, not attacked. Which is why we need your blood."

"Why my blood?" I pulled my sweater sleeves down a bit. "Doesn't all blood work in spellwork?"

"This isn't spellwork, it's an offering. And your blood is....special."

".....No?"

"Yes. Your blood is....unchanged. It's what we call 'Unmisted'."

"....I've never heard of that."

"Its a local phenomena. But it just means that, for now, your blood is special. And sadly, that means you're a....delicacy."

I shuddered at the thought. "I--"

Principal Lee Anders stopped me. "This is our only option son. We need your blood."

I resisted for a bit, but eventually I gave in. None of Principal Lee Anders' spells worked, and Prudence's meditations gave her the same answer. My blood was the only way this would end.

Prudence carefully pushed my sleeve up and drew her knife. I clenched my eyes shut and turned away, and winced. Luckily she made the....incision on my arm instead of my palm. Principal Lee Anders quickly bandaged the wound while Prudence smeared my blood on her hands. I felt woozy; it was too much for me. The cut, the...ritual....

I tried not to throw up.

Prudence reached for the vines with both hands, and before she even touched them the vines fell away. Prudence glanced back at Principal Lee Anders, then tried to enter Building 17. However, she stopped short. "Ail'sur'ia..." She cursed. Prudence then gave me an apologetic look. "It wants you to come with."

Dear Readers, at that moment I spoke my mind.

"Are you guys going to feed me to a spirit?"

"Wha--no!" Prudence rushed to deny.

"No harm will come to you, Mr. Page." Principal Lee Anders came up and put a hand on my shoulder, and a chill went down my spine. "I swear it."

Our magician of a principal wrapped a silver thread around my wrist and Prudence's, then used golden confetti mixed with sand to draw a circle that hovered in the air around him. "Stay behind me at all times."

When we entered Building 17, the vines came up again, trapping us inside. The interior was destroyed; the walls were split by tree roots, and flowers grew at random intervals. Moss covered everything, and small glowing motes were the only source of light. It was warm, and the air felt wet.

I looked ahead at Principal Lee Anders, and he was smiling. "Let's do this."

[End of Part 2]

[miserycollections]

is you dead misery?

((Not dead. Just busy))

[miserycollections]

Ycm aes vxms ket sxyda ymc?

Q cyijqau. Edu jxqj mybb ru hucutyut.

[miserycollections]

Building 17

No one could enter Building 17 today. While it wasn't exactly because of the overgrown vines wrapping around the entire property, growing denser and knotting at any entrance, especially the door, they certainly helped.

My peers weren't exactly....affected by the blockage. They saw it as an opportunity to mess with their phones and have a break; two couples even decided to have a picnic right then and there.

Meiriam, of course, went to grab her father, Principal Lee Anders, who proceeded to do a particularly....intricate ritual that required dancing around the building, swallowing a stick of butter whole, and stabbing a statue made of some kind of melon with a firepoker.

The vines choking Building 17 blackened, but did not wilt. Apparently, this was not the intended effect, since Principal Lee Anders frowned, crossed his arms, and said "The woods rot serves to the feeding of his growth." Whatever that meant.

No one except me seemed to pay much attention to Principal Lee Anders as he tried to free the building several different ways, which includes: using wichfyre to burn the vines away [it didn't], talking to the vines using the language of flowers [from what I gathered, the flowers grown by the vines in response essentially said "fuck off"], and simply hacking at the vines with the firepoker.

There were ten minutes left in class when Principal Lee Anders decided to call for outside help.

I didn't expect my neighbor Prudence to show up, trying to ride her bike in her vestments; as an Oracle, the priestesses who followed the Goddess Aliurian, her garments were highly impractical. The vestments were designed to show off as much skin as possible, to display the jagged tree like scars that all Oracles had to bear.

Prudence approached the vines and pressed her palm against them, letting her eyes drift close. She stayed like that while my peers began to wander off, some moving on to their next class, while some outright skipped, using Principal Lee Anders attention to the blockage to leave without his notice. My next class still im Building 17, so I had to stay while the next group of students approached and were faced with the same problem as the previous period.

Prudence pulled away from the vines with a worried look, and pulled Principal Lee Anders aside to talk. They would occasionally point at me, which just made me hug myself and try to seem smaller than I already was. If they thought I had something to do with this catastrophe, they would be sorely mistaken; I still wasn't allowed to do the practical labs in any of the thaumaturgy classes.

Principal Lee Anders approached me with his hands behind his back, and Prudence followed, fidgeting with her mossy hair. They pulled me to the side, away from the other students.

"Story," Prudence began, wringing her hands. "We, uhm..."

Principal Lee Anders interjected. "We need your help, son."

"With....the vines?" They nodded. "I don't see how I can help..."

"It's not you, per se..."

"Your blood, Mr. Page. We need your blood."

[End of Part 1]

[miserycollections]

The peacock won't leave my neighborhood. Everyone sees it 3 to 8 times a day just....walking around.

Every day.