a sky full of stars ϟ

I'm Mika. I'm in a deep state of delirium; filled with violent ecstasy and intoxication. //

[misguidedocean-blog]

We couldn't just press "replay" when a movie was over. We have to wait for few more days, weeks or even months to encourage ourselves to play it again but the excitement it brought the first time we watched will never be the same. We can replay all the memories but at the end of the day, we would end up lonely because we couldn't bring back those memories the first time we experienced all of those. We couldn't just simply snap and tell to that person whom we shared to rewind all the things we did. And life is always like that. Life gives you memories. Life relieves the pain and love excites you. 

Life is sometimes inevitably painful. Life gives you the people who will make you both happy and sad and take them until they turn into memories. And life is always like that. And life will always be like that. 

[misguidedocean-blog]

people should always be reminded that love isn't enough to make any relationship lasts forever. a large part maybe reserved for endearment but there are a lot of things to consider and it doesn't mean either that a perfect relationship should always rely on the other things. mostly, a perfect relationship may also means acceptance. accepting the fact that love isn't about finding the perfect one that could make you perfect but rather finding someone who could accept your imperfections and mistakes and still loving the worst out of you. finding love is another talk, when you find love, it's not about how may guys and girls have passed into your life but the mere fact that you have learned from the relationships you have through it was simply the est thing that would ever happened to your life. love is also a growing process. as you get into any relationships, you learn a lot of things and change a lot of things. change is inevitable but changing for the one you love isn't the main point of any relationships. changing for yourself is rather a big part that would ever happened to you. and in that case, if you learned everything about yourself, that would be the perfect time to love others. and in God's perfect time, you'll be happy.

[staypozitive]

[inksandwords-blog]

I gave my heart to two boys and both of them ripped it apart,

[inksandwords-blog]

i. Winter gave it away, the first boy whom I gave my heart with was when I was fifteen. It was my first time and I didn’t know it’ll be terrible. His name was Adan: 5’6 ft tall, brown eyes, curly hair and a boy with a sense of humor. It was just a crush and it all started when he asked me to go with him this winter dance at our school and of course our fairy tale will not begin if I didn’t say yes. Day by day he gave me flowers and paid my lunch at school and helped me carry my books. At night he would call me at five in the morning just to check if I’m still breathing or not. And then the winter dance finally came, I wore a blue dress, a ball gown if you insist on the details, my hair was curled on my right side and I wore this little tiara that became the main attraction of the night. He picked me up on my house at eight in the evening and he looked stunning, my eyes almost dropped at the sight of him, I was beguiled by him that I didn’t notice my parents shouting my name.

We drove in his rented car for the night, gave me a corsage and kissed me on my cheek and rested his palm on my leg. I looked at him with glinting eyes, every part of me ached to touch his hair or just his hand and I was falling in love with him little by little. The dance was terrific, people arrived like princes and princesses and they all looked stunning but above all, he was still the most stunning boy I’d ever seen that night. The night finally came into an end and everyone said their goodbye’s and drove their cars as fast as they can. The dancing stopped and so was the music and all I heard was the crickets humming in unison and it happened, I gave my heart to him. A peck on the lips was all it did to push out my heart for him but he tore it apart in front of me an hour later when I found him making out with a girl named Laila, a girl who used to be my best friend.

ii. Season has changed, winter came to an end and I managed to stitch up my heart and found its missing piece. I cried every night and regret that I gave my heart to that boy whom I barely even know, I screamed and tried to suffocate myself with a pillow but my friend called me and I vent out all the anger I felt. An hour later, I received a text from a boy that I barely know, he said “hi” and I said hello, day by day he greeted me with a “good morning, lady” or a “good morning, beautiful” which made me smile. And in no time I was finally healed from his wit and humor. His name was Rain and it rhymes with pain that made it hard to trust him. But little by little my heart managed to trust him, his subtle words made me like him, his sweet gestures made me fell with him. I was still scared that he will hurt me too like the first one but he assured me that he will never do something stupid like that to me and it made me sigh in relief.

We spent months together, watching movies, sleeping in the afternoon, eating dinner with him and even skating with him. It was perfect, he was perfect but he made it look more perfect for me with the things he has done. We’ve been together for months, six months to be exact when I received an email from him that broke my heart. He rode a train, a train that took him to places I never heard of. And that’s when I realized that his name rhymes with train. And I stopped loving anyone ever since.

[staypozitive]

[staypozitive]

[misguidedocean-blog]

I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with butterflies. In order to see beautiful things in life, we must accept failures and flaws and those things that were really ugly. Life is very beautiful, but we cannot see its beauty by isolating ourselves to those who were just beautiful. How can we appreciate the beauty of other things we haven't seen? Life is full of problems and obstacles that makes us think it's not beautiful anymore. But, if we could see it with optimism we could learn that life was a very beautiful gift from Him to live in. Sometimes, life gives us a lot of challenges and experiences we wish we could just forget, but believe me, life didn't give us any challenge we cannot overcome; fear, abhorrence, things that make our soul ugly will always always make our life worth living for.

[misguidedocean-blog]

Those people who truly love you do not say those three little words at all because that statement is overly used nowadays. Instead, they tell you they love you when they remind you to take care of yourself. They tell you they love you when they always tell you that you should eat or sleep at a particular time of the day. They tell you they love you when they asked you to stay in their lives. They tell you they love you when they always check up on you no matter how busy their schedules are. They tell you they love you when they tell you that they want you to be happy even when they are not  a part of it. Sometimes, those people who do not tell you those three little words are the ones who truly love you. They are the ones whose feelings are real because they could show it to you beyond those words that people just throw nowadays. They may not tell you they love you as much as they do, you just have to read between the lines that they tell you. That is when you will feel that strong feeling that they are having towards you.

[misguidedocean-blog]

You will never know someone's worth until you lose him or her. And you will never know the true meaning of love until it hurts you. Love is not about living for someone; it is about finding someone who could find your missing pieces. We will never know how to smile unless someone made us feel the other way around. We will never know what is pain unless someone defined it. We will never find true happiness if we continuously isolate ourselves to be just happy. Sometimes, it's all right if someone breaks you. 

[misguidedocean-blog]

I won't demand for a lot of friends. Either they stay or choose not to, I will never hold their hand and beg to them. And I think, by just approving, it's already enough. Not because I like them out of my life, but because I want them to feel they're free. I want them to feel that I am happy for them even if letting them go is the only way I should do. I won't demand for them to be happy with me, because I will always be there for them even the other way around happens. Nevertheless, having friends is one of the best things that will ever happen in our lives. And finding friends is a long process to be able to achieve successfully. Because friends are one of the gifts from God you should always be responsible in taking care of. Because when you lose them, you can't always be like me that won't beg for any of them to come back. There will always be that time that you'll eventually fall and realized you will never have them again.

[misguidedocean-blog]

Together let's cry. Let's cry for the past that killed us. For the past that still reminds us of how fragile we are. Let's cry for the past when we were still understanding and can't make any frown on our faces. Together let's cry for the people who hurt us; these people who let us down and cry a river.Let's cry for the people who didn't stop believing for our potential even the only thing we do for them is to say "I can't do this." Together, let's cry for our false hopes; the future we thought we could attain but ended up as hope. The 'everything' we thought we could achieve but turned up with nothing. And after we cried, let us wipe each other's eyes. Because that's the only thing that tells us we're strong and that we could be braver than what we were before. And believe me, we can do it because I know we could. And never tell me you can't because you have shown you're strong enough; you cried.

[misguidedocean-blog]

Our eyes are the most beautiful creation God ever created and indeed,  one of the greatest sinners of all time.

[misguidedocean-blog]

Like all the other stars in the sky, we have to be apart. You were my sky, my stars as well as my universe but today, we're back to be simple stars that travels the night sky; stars with memories. You created memories that I will never, ever forget. I still don't know why we have to be apart, but trust me, I will understand. Because that's how deep my love is. I am deeply in love with you that I should have to let you go. I have to let go of myself from these memories that truly haunts me every single night. Because that's how I should love you; from far to nowhere. I am still in love with you that I never thought of how much pain I could attain from this. And like the stars from the sky, they will still shine together even if the truth is, when you go nearer to these beautiful stars in the sky, you will just realize that they are apart from each other. But always remember that I will always love you. And I will always be that star to shine with you, even in the darkest of the night, believe me, I will shine with you. From the bottom of my heart, I love you.

[pot-esguerra]

It was a total darkness at night a nightmare that crawls  around the floor,

You can hear footstep and sounds of tears everywhere,

You can hear the bells inside their stomach,

The abstract of pain devastatingly painted in their eyes, 

I always wish for hope a new light that will stand as their guide,

[misguidedocean-blog]

I would never love myself. I am a complete mess for everybody; my styles never go right, my hair is always a hive of imperfect personality. I would never love myself for I know I wouldn't get any love from others; they will only show abhorrence and distress about my past. They wouldn't mind leaving me because I am weak and a heart sore freak. I wouldn't be getting any love from these people since I am not beautiful nor gloomy; I wouldn't stand out, I am not worth loving.

But He has shown me the love He thinks I deserve to have.

He let me know the verity of heart; I am worth both loving and hurting since I am strong enough to stand up. He didn't let me down, ever in my life. He taught me how to fight and from wounds to scars, these are my weapons to fight upon everything that tells me I will never go right. He has shown me happy memories that were really, really beautiful. And from these memories, I must not hide from the past that haunts me every day. He loved me when I can't even love myself. And understood everything about inside of me. 

He is my God.

[staypozitive]

[sasss-a-frass]