Angstiety @missangstiety - Tumblr Blog

My most recent paranoia: Everyone and their mother is a narcissist. The mailman’s a narcissist! Your dentist - narcissist! Your friends and family? All narcissists! PLOT TWIST~~I??? am a narcissist? (question mark??) EVERYONES A NARCISSIST! ✨

#nikkithenutjob

#narcissistic personality disorder #npd #narcissism #paranoia #everybody gets a car

thank u next

When you look at me you don’t see the best version of me, you see a work in progress

You want a finished product, but it your idea of what a finished product looks like that isn’t tailored to me or my strengths/potential or who I could become

(Inner) Strength and stability looks a certain way to you that doesn’t look the same as my own, so you don’t see my strength

You see me as weak, feeble minded, incomplete

And someone who loves someone sees the best version of that person, (the strong person they have inside, with all of their potential) all the time.

You see/define people by their weaknesses (first), not their strengths. Which is why you are unhappy with so many people/why you feel let down

You see my flaws first and my strengths second (you acknowledge that they’re there, my strengths, but they are hidden away underneath all the muck, and the flaws are more important - you focus on those instead of seeing my merit first and foremost - not something I must dig to or cast aside all insecurities/damage/weaknesses in order to unlock/achieve/unbury)

In reality they all coexist and make up who I am and should all be pieces of the puzzle that make up me, who should be seen as inherently good, admirable, whole.

#friends #lovers #countrymen #lol #see what i did there

Me: *feels good*

Me to me: ok but like are u feeling good for all the wrong reasons tho like u cant allow your mood to be determined by the validation of others and male attention and society’s arbitrary ideas of what “success” looks like omg wait I took an adderall this morning IS THIS JUST DRUG INDUCED MANIA I can’t afford to crash again I really can’t lmaaaooooo maybe i just legit feel good maybe I’m just actually growing as a person GOD WHY CANT YOU JUST ENJOY THINGS my therapist said i should trust my judgement more but like also IF I COULD WOULD I BE IN THERAPY THO lololol anyways today is a good day hashtag good vibes u know?

#anxiety #depression #suspicion #ah yes the three genders #me to me

December 31, 2018: I’m going to stay away from toxic people, and spend less time uselessly internet stalking #resolutions2k19

January 4, 2019: “haaaayy catfish ex bae wyd u up u schemin hahahahaha”

#fail #new years resolution #catfish #send help #1 like = 1 prayer

I was going to pull the trigger on getting a new cat

But i don’t think I can I don’t think I can love something that much again only to lose it I can’t do it again I’m scared it might actually kill me

Is this why I don’t want kids anymore?

I’m too scared to feel that strongly again

Oh god oh god barrrrf tell me I’m not turning into one of these people who I fucking HATE these fucking pricks who are “afraid to love” these fucking douche bags who fucked me up to be like this in the fucking first place

HA!!!! This spiral! All because of a fucking cat

Pray for me 🙄

#spiraling #batshitcrazy #crazy cat lady #damaged #alone

How many robotic SadBoi™️s do I have to take to raves before my life story passes the Bechdel test

#manic pixie dream girl #rave bae #bechdel test #edm #enfp problems

What men say: I don’t believe in love

What I hear: I didn’t believe in love until I met YOU my precious pixie angel thank you for warming my cold dead heart and teaching me to feel my sweet goddess

#love #emotional labor #emotionally unavailable #manic pixie dream girl #fixer

Not an exact match for this use of meme but you get me yeah?

#lonely #alone #passive #surprised pikachu #meme

I guess I have more internal shit about my family than I thought. I haven’t been this mad since Señor Gaslight, and that was the first time I experienced true anger.

It’s over something minuscule but it brought up all this other deep dark shit - yikes!

#family drama #anger

The Phases of Hypochondria - A Glimpse into the Batshit Mind of Yours Truly:

*feels achy and/or sick/unwell and/or sees a new bruise, bump, etc.*

1. I am dying Right Now (I’m having a heart attack/stroke/fatal reaction/etc.) Now now, maybe not. Perhaps,

2. I am dying slowly (I have a fatal disease that I will have to live with for the all-too short time I have left, or I will go in and out of recovery hoping for a normalish longish life but never really knowing when it might just strike) But wait now - could it be...

3. I am pregnant (I am the 0.0001% statistic for failed birth control and contraceptives - what are the chances!! I am doomed to confront a lover about a delicate subject) Well now...at least I’m not dying then...actually, maybe it’s just that

4. I’m having a panic attack (I’ve confused the symptoms of panic with the symptoms of the aforementioned problems) So I’m good then.

......UNLESS I’m brushing off something VERY SERIOUS as a panic attack! Every minute counts! Do I calm down or take action?! Better safe than sorry! Let me google my symptoms and see if

5. Repeat steps 1-4 until distracted or asleep

#anxiety #hypochondria #panic attack #mental illness #phobia

After years of being a compliant pushover people pleaser I’ve only just started to express and stand up for myself.

And it fucking sucks. I’d rather just be a pawn in everyone else’s life. That way I won’t upset anybody.

Me 1: I’ve always had a wild imagination because I’m a creative-type! 🙂

Me 2: lmao OR, hear me out, OR...you’re having low key daily delusions and should probably be medicated

Me 3: ok but what IF....I’m NOT delusional and I actually just hold all the secrets of the universe.

Me 2:

...

........

.............Need I say more

Me 1: Would this translate into a podcast? I should make a podcast.