Miss Guised

Celebrating sassy, strange, and stupid costumes since 2009.

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Sexy Debate star, Ken Bone  $99.95

Is it getting hot in here or am I just concerned with energy independence? With a red Rogers-esque sweater and sweet Flanders ‘stache, he captured the hearts and need-a-mental-hug-minds of our nation during the 2nd presidential debate.  Plus his last name is Bone? Sexy costume alert!!!! If you’re still undecided about your Halloween persona, cast your vote in the Bone Zone.

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Sexy Sort of Rolling Stones Logo - $100.95

Some girls think it’s only rock and roll but you want a bigger bang between the buttons, so If you checked “no” in the satisfaction category this Halloween then this is the costume for you.  A pro like you can make a grown man cry so just unleash your beasts of burden, your moves like Jagger and you’ll be playing with fire.

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Sexy Alexander “Ali” Hamilton - $119.95

You might be young, scrappy and hawt but in this sassy historic getup you won’t be throwin’ away your shot! This “made in the USA” costume features a “white ruffled dickie” (after a night on the town, you know it will), so get out there. Your name is Alexander Hamilton and there’s a million guys you haven’t done.

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Sexy Wakko (Animaniacs) - $39.95

Get zany to the max with this 90′s throwback to your favorite Warner Brother. There’s plenty of room to pack away the snacks under that skirt, and it’s too bad because you’ll miss out on all the bologna in your slacks... or will you? If things go well you might meet Pinky and the Brain up in the tower tonight.

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Sexy Circus Tent - $89.95

Come one, come all to the greatest show on earth! Don’t be a Dumbo this Halloween, don this light blue romper which features a totally not copyrighted elephant soaring above your lady bits, discreetly hidden by the ::ahem:: flaps of a circus tent. In other words “the big top” just got a whole lot bottomer! Lucky feather not included.

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Sexy Poop Emoji – $55.95

Everyone knows you’re hot sh*t, so why not embody that sentiment this Halloween? This high neck romper with cheeky cut back, and a plush poo applique is totes adorbs and will be sure to catch the brown eye of every Cleveland Steamer fan. If you don’t win the costume contest this year, raise a stink. No one wants to be number two. Take the back door and leave a little present on their lawn.

Fun Tip: Find a friend because there’s def room in the sexy-costuniverse for a Sexy Charmin Bear.

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Sexy Olympian $31.47

For the athlete who’s hoping to medal but didn’t get to be a part of the official Team USA, look no further than this winning number. You’ll be up on his podium faster than Usain Bolt, when you sprint to the finish in this “romper” that’s so deeply V cut, the country you’re representing is completely secondary to your golden globes.

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Sexy “The Dress” $46.95

Halloween is the golden opportunity to embody that February 2015 office-wide argument and shed some light on “the dress”! Like Sexy Pizza Rat, this cyber sensation is only relevant for a limited time so why not rekindle the controversy. If you’re going solo, don’t feel blue, just show off your true colors and a long look from your white knight will most definitely change your view.

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Sexy Toad $89.95

Lookout, this fungi got a very sexy upgrade in Mario’s world! A blue “bolero” vest over a white romper with a sweetheart neckline is exactly what gets Bowser hot under the spiked collar. Whether you’re racing through the streets of Isle Delfino, partying on a airship, or rolling through dirty dungeons, this little costume will definitely give you 1-up!

Bonus Tip: Pair up with this trio for even more fun.

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UPDATE: Sexy Oscar the Grouch $54.95

This charming office-party-sexy costume from 2011 got a seriously sexy update. The sensible garbage can skirt got turned into high-waisted corset/booty shorts, and Oscar’s trademark brows are doing way more than double duty as an accent on this furry bikini top (three words that shouldn’t be put together). For our legwarmer lovin’ crowd we’ve got furry bellbottoms, and sweatbands/wrist cuffs. The charming character hat has gotten even smaller, which is really the best improvement because: tiny hats. Old skool or new, however you want to sex up your Sesame Street urchin, you can still be singing “I love trash” and it will be oh so fitting.

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Sexy Patrick Star $94.95

Are you ready kids? Sexy Spongebob needs a best friend to go jellyfishing, so get out from under your rock and join him.  You may not be very bright but all that will be forgotten when you shine in this “hi-cut panty” costume. You’ve got friends and adventures and the ocean is just waiting to be explored.  Grab a net, you never know what you’re going to catch!

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Sexy Pizza Rat $89.99

15 seconds of fame is more than enough to make New York’s Little Pizza Rat a YouTube sensation! Cheesy, maybe, but it’s your right to capitalize on that subway moment in this soft, fuzzy hoodie with pizza pockets. Maybe you can grab a date and drag him back to your concrete jungle while you’re still relevant. There’s nothing you can’t do!

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Sexy Goldfish $199.95, $44.95, $164.95

A mini trend has bubbled up in the sea of sexy costumes and orange is definitely the new black! You’ll bowl over your date when you shimmy your fins and make waves in his direction. He’ll be yours, hook, line and sinker. If the night is going belly up, secretly replace yourself with an other fish in the sea and he’ll be none the wiser.

Bonus Tip: a hot friend, a large cardboard shipping tube, and some design work with Sharpies yields a Sexy Fish Food costume!

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Sexy Ewok $99.95

In a galaxy far far away, a tribe of short, sexy, furry folk live in trees, sing songs and battle for their home planet of Endor. Join in the celebration this Halloween and shake your Yub Nubs all night long. This ::cough:: “galaxy bear” ::cough:: costume is a real winner when you’re looking for a Wicket to stick-it to you.

Check out Sexy Darth Vader

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Sexy Tiffany & Co Box $39.95

Show the world what you’re all about this Halloween as a pretty, perfect present. Let them unwrap your goodies and get a look at your bling. You’re sure to get a few proposals when you reveal your beautiful box. Let them know that breakfast is included.

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Sexy Charlie Brown $54.95

Good Grief! Don't be a blockhead this Halloween, bring your great pumpkins to the party in this subtle crop top costume. Looking to get a bit dirty? Hook up with Pigpen, encourage Schroeder to tickle more than just the ivories, or get Linus to share his blanket with you. Be sure your intentions are the most sincere or you may end up in the doghouse.

Miss Guised says: This costume would be so much better wearing a bald cap w Sharpie squiggle.

Bonus Tip: get a good looking friend, some fabric scraps, twine, and dollar store foliage and have her be a Sexy Kite Eating Tree!