let's talk about 12 april's guilt.
she's the reason the invasion started right then and there in s2, right? she brought irma to the lair and subprime almost killed her family. she led the kraang into her friends' home. she's the reason they got driven out of their only safe place.
it's her fault. and through that, they had to leave behind master splinter, which nearly got him killed. then they split from leo, and he got sent into a 3 month coma. donnie got shot. raph and casey nearly died multiple times trying to get to her apartment. her dad got mutated again.
it's her fault. that's what she tells herself. it's what resonates deep inside of her each waking hour.
imagine how devastating that is? how much it crushed her? how one simple mistake led to their city going up in flames and almost brought down her entire family?
and she's half kraang too, right? do you think she believes that this is all she's good for? that no matter what she does to be a good friend, person, daughter, she's forever destined to end the very family that had loved her as she is?
that she's programmed to do the kraang's deeds, whether she wants to or not. whatever she does, it ends in disaster. one terrible thing after another.
she most likely hates herself for that. if she hadn't trusted irma, hadn't brought her to the lair, hadn't been born-
despite her intentions, they'll forever lead to danger, to the deaths of her family.
how is she meant to be around them, exist at the same time as them, knowing she's a ticking time bomb ready to explode? how much longer until she turns on them? until her actions are out of her control? until she kills one of them...or all of them?
(it comes true. of course it does. she killed donnie. she thought she had herself under control. she thought the kraang in her blood had gone dormant. but she's foolish, and she'd succumbed to the crystal.)
of course, she tells no one. she doesn't tell them how much she hates herself, how all the blame lands on her shoulders, how she just wishes she could disappear so her friends would stop hurting.
she keeps quiet, because maybe, the universe will let her keep her family a little bit longer. bad people don't deserve such things. but she's selfish. and bad people are selfish too.
gracieabrams
