Catarina

Hi!! I’m js a big fan of fangans and PJSK who draws sometimes

[misty-or-cat61117]

(My profile pic is a comm from Nesai on discord, the header is a comm from Snowfox on Vgen!)

Intro: Hi, I’m Cat/Misty, an artist and fanfic writer :33

Big fan of HD, but has watched SDRA2 (up till ch.6, don’t mind spoilers tho since I stopped watching it), DRDT, P:EG, SH, Fate’s Return, and Foundation of despair. Currently waiting for Despairful Circus.

I also have a W.I.P fangan called Competition of the Forgettable

(Please please talk to me if you ship Akira and Tomoya or/and Satoru and Bani please)

My Chibi Comms are open! $10 nitro per chibi, dm me on discord if interested: @Catarina7777

[qin-mo]

full-body photos of the dreaming hours series it seems

i think twitter op found these on rednote/xiaohongshu? i don't have a link tho

does anyone know what the circular object on luka's top left is?

[misty-or-cat61117]

OH MY GOD SUA HAS SEAL AND BUNNY PILLOWS

[misty-or-cat61117]

Alnst sleepover merch would be so peak. Mizi was the host but she's too busy painting matching nails for the 6th time that week with Sua to notice Luka's hungry ass stole all the fucking chips from the pantry and hoarded them in the bathroom while he sleeps on the floor. Hyuna made three separate Uber Orders of just garlic bread from three different pizza spots to purely see which one would make it first

Ivan and Till made a bet on who would fall asleep first while watching an anime series but jokes on Till , Ivan never sleeps and therefore got to enjoy watching Till sleep for an hour. Till gets payback by cuddling up to ivan and turning him into a major loser

(Mizi would also have these massive bunny and cat plushies lying around. Luka drools on an ear somehow)

[misty-or-cat61117]

Hey I predicted this btw (yes I know sleepover and night theme is very generic but like I also got Luka and chips right)

[wlwhyuluka]

there’s something to be said about the fact that both mizi and ivan come from an inherently poor or unsafe environment, which makes them see love as survival, and survival is transactional to them. therefore, they play into personas of performative versions of themselves, mizi being the pretty and approachable girl, while ivan is the self reliant and smooth talking boy. even if they are unhappy with where they are stuck, they still maintain it, for fear of the possibility of what does happen if they step out of line.

ironically, the basis of their friendship is built around trust, and yet even when it’s misguided. people play off their relationship as a mutual understanding, but is it really like that, or is it something that wasn’t close to what it could have been. ivan, misinterpreting mizi as a cheerful and bubbly person, feels awkward at what he perceives as innocent (she isn’t), but still enjoys her company nonetheless, as he is almost never antagonistic to her. meanwhile, mizi sees ivan as a perfect prince (he’s not) that is effortlessly cool in every situation.

and yet, even in this warped perception of a bond, there’s still a mutual trust that they know they can rely on each other. mizi seems to trust ivan deeply (leaning on him when she sleeps and doing piggy back rides with him) while ivan shows no bother at her, even engaging in her antics sometimes. they see the peaceful friendship as something that doesn’t require transaction, and something they don’t need to control. it’s tragic because they are so similar, and a deep conversation would bring them much closer as friends, but mizi doesn’t see ivan as a trauma, so she doesn’t think of her as someone like her, and ivan’s self hatred makes him seek out relation to sua, because he falls for the mask that mizi plays into, as does she with him.

genuinely so devastated that they weren’t able to confront these feelings AHAUAGHAHAA mizi ivan parallels run so deep 😢😢😢 me (witch) and my homeboy (paratise)

[misty-or-cat61117]

It’s funny because both of them are the only person out of 4NAKT the other doesn’t look deeper into in some sense.

Mizi loves Sua in spite of their mutual attempts of control and manipulation and using each other to vent out self-hatred. Mizi & Till vice versa out of 4NAKT especially highlight their family bond and a need to reconnect after all the loss they have endured. Mizi also knew of Till’s crush, yet could acknowledge he wasn’t cruel regardless of his similarities with her peers and what he felt for her was more than just a crush— it was also care, even if he too fell for the persona she displays.

Ivan loves Till as a result of self-hatred and out of obsessive but restrained and conflicted love that was always too much or too little. Ivan also could see the similarities in him and Sua, even if ultimately they were very different people in their approach of loving— with Sua wanting to take the reigns before letting go of her relationship with Mizi and Mizi herself and Ivan only desperately reaching for control after letting Till decide and initiate almost everything within their relationship. Still, Ivan loved Sua and did appreciate her, and I do believe Sua did too acknowledging he was an important part of their family in Bon Bon Jellyfish, but their too-similar rough personalities made them have conflicts with one another.

But Mizi and Ivan? Ivan’s the perfect prince, Mizi is an innocent and overly energetic girl. They’re best friends, and trusted each other to an extent, but that’s really it.

I do believe the relationship charts these quotes came from could be argued to be a little outdated or even retconned due to Mizi’s rewrite of an actually innocent girl with occasional violent outbursts (and maybe, some deep down situational awareness she unintentionally neglects) to someone who is a lot more observant and cynical of the world yet puts up a mask. But it’s interesting how even after the rewrite, Ivanmizi’s relationship isnt mentioned all that much and left vague— did Mizi actually see Ivan as that prince or was she still playing into her facade (considering that the scene of one of Ivan’s most tender and vulnerable moments is displayed as she mentions that Ivantill are family)? Did Ivan actually believe in Mizi’s facade? Because he isn’t there under her pile of people who fell for her innocent persona. This all hugely depends on the context of why they’re even saying their thoughts on one another in the first place and if there is some sort of lore reason why their affection for one another is measured and ranked at all. Is it just for audience knowledge, or is it some sort of interrogation by aliens? (Excluding Hyunmizi’s thoughts on one another and Hyuna’s thoughts). I lean towards the former, but I could totally see vivimeng using the latter as a later reasoning why some of these thoughts are kinda contradictory compared to later comics and canon material.

It’s hard to know how far Mizi’s awareness of everything truly extends and how it shifts and changes, as she does state that she thinks Till might hate her due to him constantly avoiding her yet later being aware (or always knew in the first place) that he liked her. It might’ve been possible for Mizi to see the twisted parts of Ivan and for Ivan to see it too, but dismiss it in the end in order to embrace the bliss of ignorance they can’t better obtain with anyone else. In the end, whatever glimpses they may have seen in each other doesn’t matter all that much considering Ivanmizi alongside Tillsua are the two most least developed friendships.

Either way, my point is to say that it’s extremely ironic the two characters who look the most intrinsically into others in an attempt to understand them or to control interactions with them look at each other in such a surface level manner. This could be along the same line of the points that you made, where they share mutual trust and relax around one another unlike anyone else, therefore do not need to look in any deeper, but it just goes to show whether they attempt to understand someone or not, they always end up feeling so lonely in the end.

[misty-or-cat61117]

My consensus is that Ivantill overall (every Alnst ship really) is a freak4freak (yes, even before round 6) dynamic. However, I do want to hear from the public on their opinion upon which AU is the freakiest. Sexual, pure obsessive tendencies, or even idolization.

Jockemo gets the most. Well, That Fanart overall. But rock is a pretty good situationship deal too, but it also feels very vague and leads to a lot of different interpretations on how their ‘frenemies with benefits’ deal works out.

My personal favorite is probably Angel x Devil

[crowinamicrowave]

i feel like if mafuyu tried coming out as gay to mafumom she would be taken aback but ultimately would force herself to be at least mildly accepting for the sake of mafuyu. but if mafuyu told her she was dating any of n25 (especially kanade) then mafumom would make a face and be like "sweetie you know i love and accept you but.... you couldnt have gone for anyone.... more responsible.......? take hinomori-san from your archery club, she's a wonderful young woman with a budding career and good income, and she's always so sweet, i just don't understand what you see in that c*mposer, she doesn't even have a job, how will she provide for you? you aught to think of what's best for your future--"

[misty-or-cat61117]

Jax has always been like so strange to me. She's abusive as hell yet we have always known she was struggling with something throughout the corcus and did have some problems with her identity in one way or another.

And I mean. I'm not really surprised they killed themselves and abstracted without ever taking full accountability as it's in very character, I think the basic outline is fine but there can be some changes to how it's executed.

When you kys, you stop existing, but Jax still exists as some sort of pet that's implied to have a semi-stable conscious, so it's not really suicide. So it definitely has to be some sort of representation of trauma fully consuming somebody and making them become physically and mentally weak being surrounded by people who love her. But also, haven't we seen her Be Like That the entire show? Abstraction lets her escape her thoughts completely and become 'mindless' with only basic situational awareness or recognition of others, so it is quite literally the outcome Jax would have always wanted-- to escape her situation and her own character forever.

It's super late so i cant think clearly but its strange. I guess it just feels like to me, her character and caution story only focuses on 'What you do to yourself' and not much on 'What you have done to others.' Like it's shown and it happens, but not emphasized on? Because they all have to brush it off one way or another or it isn't a focus due to Circumstances, or they do sink into it but then somehow it just becomes all they are (cough cough Gangle, I can't get over how her major scene in the finale is being Jax's victim and if that was intentional or something. I loved her episode a lot with identity issues but it feels very upsetting seeing episode 4 compared to finale). One extreme or another in a sense.

Compared to her trans storyline, her being a POS/abusive, backstory taking up the whole finale--That Part has always thrown me off the most in her story compared to everything else. I don't want to lean too extreme into one side after taking the month after the finale to think about it, but I don't necessarily think it was intended to be abuser apologist fest? It's just that the way the story is framed ends up being very easily interpreted that route. It's also hard to say which way it is considering Goose's. Everything and how Jax is meant to be a self-insert of who seems to be a Currently Bad person. I just don't think jax's story works as well without intense focus on both abusers and victims and how the cycle truly perpetuates. Because it can feel like the explanation of the cycle repeating is half-completed and there's still a side to shed more light on. More writers would've helped.

I hope it's collectively agreed upon that the purple bunny's backstory took up too much finale time though. Still think it's weird Jax is remembered fondly by everyone. Maybe the concept of who Jax could've been is something deeply mourned ('Isn't she lovely?'), but so is Ribbit and Kaufmo and we don't see mourning for them beyond missing a friend. I also personally think mourning such a concept feels like you never truly appreciated that person, just what you wanted them to be. Because, well, it's not like Jax is here to tell them a better version of herself is what she wanted. And even if they did know, Jax's decisions still ended up determining her character. It sometimes feels like she didn't want to become good anyway, and I'm not just saying that because shes an ass. It's also because she does take some slight initiative to fix something, but then doubles down out of cowardice. She knows the basics of what to do and that she can ask others for help with the rest but just Can't. She doesn't and never wanted to change, so why miss this potential and what she used to be? What about who she was the moment before he died?

Felt Weird to establish Jax was now a part of the Group and Trauma Squad only to die an episode later because Pomni didn't want to reach out after episodes of loudly, silently, and literally extending a hand out to her. Bit of a plot device imo. Could've just left Jax be after the button fiasco guys.

[misty-or-cat61117]

It makes me feel so sad reading mafu6. (Already read when it released jp server but stopped reading n25 ahead of en release after mafu7). It feels crushing to be in mafuyu's position-- you know they care about you, Mafumom just wants to help, yet you can't help but feel hurt by this rush in decision-making and pressure to do what Mafumom wants to do. Mafumom is still so focused on securinf Mafuyu's future she still can't even read Mafuyu's mask.

Mafuyu needs to voice what she wants more, and Mafumom needs to stop thinking so much about college until Mafuyu's comfortable after living her whole life doing what her mom wanted to do. Literally wait until Mafuyu is ready or near graduation (even though she's a 3rd year). If I was mafumom, I'd try to learn more about why she said why she wants to be a nurse and what that entails for her personal character. But of course, be open that she can say that she's uncomfortable and completely ditch the topic completely and remind her she can talk about it whenever she wants.

I understand both of them deeply, but I relate to wanting to people-please for someone who has your best interest at heart and is suffering as a result of 'failing' to help. I just wish Mafumom would reassure Mafuyu just a little more that Mafuyu can say what she wants and to prioritize herself first, not comfort her grown ass mother. Mafudad needs more of a role in her story since he appears out of the loop at times

[misty-or-cat61117]

Behold, the one refute to my TT comments that I truly cannot have a comeback with— ‘I’m not reading allat’

Mb I guess, for wanting to meaningfully discuss and interpret the characters in a large paragraph that goes beyond 4 sentences.

[misty-or-cat61117]

Dare i say the reason why fans complain about 'the sexual assault romanticized in ALNST and ZOMST and it's unnecessary to the story' is probably because new fans or people who do not know where the phrases, 'Thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions,' 'Luka, my one and only weakness,' and 'Found you, the doll made from snowflakes!' originate from keep barging through the doors screaming that they're all just abuser x victim and that their sexual assault scenes completely ruin any appeal they have with how disgustingly portrayed it is and you have 20 people per post liking it/agreeing.

[misty-or-cat61117]

Life changing news for the satoru and tomoya fans (its me. Its just me.)

[misty-or-cat61117]

Walk with me here, AU idea

I was in a TT comment section where someone was defending Shine and saying she wasn’t abusive and did care for Mizi. I think, ‘if Shine did actually care about Mizi (which was already evident she didn’t the moment we see Mizi’s mom crushed because let’s be honest they probably killed her), then she’d probably just let her free into the slums/wild in order for her to regain freedom and autonomy. It’s not safe but clearly neither was being raised by them, so at least my poor baby can actually decide how her life goes for once.’

So. Slums Mizi. She gets dumped there by Shine, who is curious of the small chile and its human emotions, but learns that humans best appreciate each other out of everything else, and aliens cannot fill that role. She leaves her behind near some other rat-sacked kids thinking they might get along and Mizi might live a better life not controlled by the aliens, unaware they’re all competition to each other.

Many die or starve in the area, but Mizi survives due to her anger and violent nature. She picks a fight easily, even when she’s so young. She can also appease to higher authorities or adults in order to get food.

She finds Ivan, who gets by his equally strong and desperate behavior. She kind of wants to bite him or even eat him due to how tiny he is for his age, but she thinks he’s like her in a particular way and wants to team up. Ivan thinks Mizi’s like a wild predator who tugs on his hair too much but he likes it so they get along.

In the slums, they’re both pretty mean and cunning. However, once Issac finds them, (and gives them bread, I think), he realizes he doesn’t have enough bread to give for both of them. Ivan’s hesitant, but Mizi is desperate to find warmth and food again, especially since she is familiar with having the love and care from a provider like Till. So they both follow Issac and become a part of the rebellion.

Mizi’s better at adjusting than Ivan is, but Ivan catches up quickly. They don’t have to be as innocent or perfect as before, but their persona personalities stay the same in nature in order to build better connections faster. They get along with Hyuna, also new, the most.

Jacob dies, Hyuna becomes in charge, and Mizi, Ivan, Issac, and Dewey all become her best friends and assistants. Mizi and Hyuna are known for having the most pep in the rebellion but Issac, Dewey, and Ivan are all kind of ‘Lady-killers.’ Ivan is less dead inside due to actually living a proper life surrounded by people who like him for the weirdo he is. Mizi and Ivan have a lot of sympathy towards the Anakt Garden students, knowing that they couldve easily been trapped there themselves. They lead a separate cause derivative of Hyuna’s rocket to save some of the Alien Stage contestants.

Sua and Till build a friendship despite not liking each other all that much because they feel like they’re still second or behind their more popular friend/peers (who they are not as close to as Ivan or Mizi) and enjoy each other’s quiet peace. They’re more dead inside and kind of hopeless/more grounded in reality, but Till still has some Till left to give to Sua, if that makes sense. Till is still rebellious just more toned down when not actively being abused.

All of this is to say, when Alien Stage comes and the two unlikely best friends have to sing against each other, it’s like a fairytale ending when Mizi and Ivan crash in with smoke bombs, motorcycles, and guns to steal not only them away from the competition, but also their hearts. Alien Stage proceeds to focus on Sua and Till’s bettering mental health as they go from desperate hollow victims with few friends or hope in their lives that isn’t their own hobbies (Sua’s might be cooking or general crafts) to sharing a room (and bed) with a hot rebel with great tits/ass where they get to shoot guns at their oppressors.

Luka and Hyunwoo tie in the 49th season, but Luka ends up not doing the 50th season of ALNST due to health complications even Heperu can’t solve. Both disappear on the same night and are in the rebellion by next morning.

[misty-or-cat61117]

Some notes for mostly myself to keep track with Mizisua’s Zomst dynamic as of now, when there’s a lot of debate circling around on TT and even here:

- For a good 75% of their human lives they were actually a pretty decent couple, reflecting their ANAKT garden relationship where it felt a lot normal considering their environment and upbringings on a surface level

- Mizi lived in abusive household where her mother hits her in order to gain more control and self-worth, yet still feels awfully guilty about it due to her hugging young Mizi in the MV. Mizi is somehow still looking like she’s in her ANAKT uniform, as if she’s still ‘trapped.’ Other than the mentally unstable mom and possibly absent father, the home itself is run down from the huge hole in the lamp in the BG and I doubt Mizi has any special personal belongings when she was younger. Mizi was born into poverty AND an unstable family, she got lucky last time by being taken in as a pet by rich ass Shine who only is entirely functionally different from her. /sarc

- Sua was born wealthy and likely has photoshoots in this AU as her grown out hair in middle school still seems to be a choice she doesn’t prefer. Becoming a k-pop idol was to support Mizi and to enjoy singing/performing alongside her, unlikely to have interest in any of it by herself since she wouldn’t have Mizi and might be familiar with social media’s attention on her.

- Mizi’s harm towards Sua: Unhealthy miscommunication and emotional regulation where she gets violent once she realizes Sua only sees her as someone pitiful needing saving. Enables Sua’s dehumanizing and fantasy-delusions behavior as a result of her past, tries to be together happily without properly addressing what happened when they were younger and concerns if Sua’s behavior still carries on. Gets exploited by the idol industry and becomes mentally drained, causing her to lose her self-image and focus on maintaining her career due to little escape routes offered. Distances herself from Sua and slaps her for trying to take away her cigarette, a coping mechanism that harms her but is at least her own decision to take out of all of her pain. Kind of represents Sua, in a way. Codependent on Sua, both financially and emotionally, and is doing much better off with Sua, with a general happier mood, her phone accessory, well-kept appearance, and overall good physical health needed to audition. Yet, she still ‘betrays’ Sua by leaving her behind with not only better status and wealth, but also with different ‘partners.’ The way to pay off her debt to Sua in Sua’s eyes was taken back.

- Sua’s harm towards Mizi: Takes Mizi in, not to just help her escape, but also because she wants Mizi to forever rely on her. Could be a possible reflection of her mindset while Mizi was an idol. Manufactures/enables Mizi’s dominance and violence towards her in order to understand the pitiful position Mizi is in herself to become someone ‘truly special to Mizi’ and to understand her pain better. She does not acknowledge Mizi’s flaws yet still loves her and the idea of being together, as Mizi’s ‘Universe and God,’ overwhelmingly so. Speculated to allow the zombie to chase after Mizi so she could find Mizi herself and let herself get infected, to atone for not protecting Mizi’s ‘innocence,’ for not being able to feel her pain, and in order to truly stay together. Sexually assaults her three times, all when Mizi is out of it and has a lack of mental stability. Her zombie self forces the two of them to stay together all the time, acting as a fragmented state of her human self.

- Mizi’s love for Sua: Trusted and befriended Sua before seeking her out as financial aid. She doesn’t want to feel like in debt to Sua for all her help and wants to repay her kindness in even double. It can be interpreted that she not only wants financial and emotional independence from Sua, she also wants to love Sua even more than Sua loves her. Mizi wants to become k-pop idols with Sua, as a ‘shared dream,’ with her. Distressed when she had to become an idol without her, and invites her backstage for her debut to receive her blessing and support. Only would move on to being an idol if Sua encourages her. Her eyes sparkle seeing Sua, but become deadpanned once looking away (whether the sparkle is a little genuine or an act from Mizi as she slowly sees Sua as one of her regular fans or a mix of both, debatable.) Displays a decision of her own accord (smoking) and dressed very casually/in monotone colors compared to her photoshoots near Sua and goes on a walk with her when she clearly has a busy schedule, subconsciously trusting Sua to be allowed to be herself out a deeply rooted love. Feels extremely guilty for hitting Sua in spite of losing so much of her soul by that time. Gasps as she realizes Sua is having her arm cut off, the first glimpse of genuine emotion we see her display in her zombie form and breaking her pattern of behavior of neglecting Sua when she was a human.

- Sua’s love for Mizi: Willing to support Mizi’s dream and encourages Mizi by staying alongside her, acting as a huge fuel for Mizi to even chase after being an idol this badly. Encourages Mizi to debut solo, and supports her as she deteriorates mentally by giving her clematis, her favorite flower. Encourages her to not smoke (there’s some concern over her physical well-being mixed with the desire to protect Mizi’s innocent I know it.) Despite her extreme toxicity and dismissive nature of Mizi’s true desires, she does want the best for Mizi. Mizi herself still does choose to seek out Sua as her companion and lover despite Sua’s view of her, and Sua acts when she believes Mizi no longer can make that decision herself. It’s very selective thinking and of course unhealthy, but she wants to exist for Mizi.

- A lot of Mizi’s actions can overall be contributed to Sua’s influence or decisions, and everyone already knows Sua has been weird as hell/abusive especially after that last comic. Their codependency comes from love, hope for the future, and financial sustainability on Mizi’s end. However, I believe from a purely objective standpoint, there are certain aspects of the relationship that are left questionable from Mizi’s perspective. Such as Sua’s dream of staying together forever seeming to not entirely be a one-sided obsessive perfect ideal, and something Mizi, despite being hurt and harmed, learns to take a part in as a result of desperation, obsession for the one person in her support system, and possibly an intense desire to see her pitiful nature in Sua. Her reaction to Sua’s self-degradation is left open-ended, overtaken by shock at Sua’s assault, or possibly in her eyes, an intense, twisted and unfamiliar display of classic romance. This could represent the offer given to hit Sua in order to share their pain. This whole comic could possibly showcase Mizi’s initial resistance in believing Sua was stupid for wanting to love Mizi, anger at wanting to adore her as an innocent pet (yet also reluctant acceptance), absolute surprise and shock in Sua’s offer to be used as the pet instead, yet later compliance and joy in Sua’s ‘romantic’ offer of eternality. Their whole relationship is built while Mizi is in distress for feeling like she’s a violent monster and Sua dismissing it because acknowledging it would mean that their eternality is ruined, and while Mizi feels a lot of guilt, she still follows Sua’s lead to build the perfect relationship. It’s not like Mizi has received proper, healthy comfort or love anywhere else. Mizi is encouraged to hit Sua, and she does later on while stressed. Sua technically hasn’t done anything wrong in that exact moment either— yes, she does take away Mizi’s autonomy once again, and even viewed as selfishly wanting to protect her from harms shes already been long exposed to, but isn’t it also generally recommended to stop your girlfriend from smoking? It’s a mix of good intentions yet terrible and forceful execution. Sua doesn’t stop and properly say, ‘Mizi don’t do that,’ but takes it away from her. She decides what Mizi will do. Still, she cares about an important issue Mizi faces.

- ^^The circumstances that caused her to be stressed are literal sexualization, heteronormativity, and are incredibly difficult to deal with for someone so young with no proper support system, but can it be said that there aren’t other traumas that have been there for the entirety of Mizi’s life that are unintentionally triggered by Sua’s genuine attempts of help that causes her to lash out? How many attempts are Sua removing autonomy or trying to make her innocent girlfriend not confront her problems, how many attempts are Sua just wanting her dear friend to be okay? To what degree can either side go until one is universally agreed upon? How firm could the stance that it truly was a one-time mistake be on the loose and ambiguous evidence presented thus far? The question of if she ever took on that offer without being provoked or when Sua was genuinely doing nothing wrong is left unanswered.

Mizi isn’t a perfect victim nor is Sua a heartless abuser. I do not think the evidence presented thus far is concrete enough to say they are still both mutually toxic and harmful as the original universe (with Sua still taking the lead in their relationship but I digress), but I do believe that it leans towards that conclusion.

(Tbh half of this was from me just thinking ‘well yeah, id crash out too if I was getting exploited by the idol industry and my gf who doesn’t acknowledge my flaws nor independence didn’t let me smoke. I’d feel like shit 24/7 if she told me after I killed a rat that she just wants me to depend on her and need her and that I’m wholly innocent when that’s not what I need to hear. But would vivimeng just leave my violent behavior at that or is this like an ongoing separate issue that’s not solely provoked from my gf I’m not addressing…”)

[misty-or-cat61117]

Oddly horrifying when you realize Ivantill and Mizisua not only contrast each other through a reciprocated and ‘unreciprocated’ love, but also mirror each other in how they are just SO close in understanding each other and themselves, yet so far off.

Mizi and Sua know they love each other, but they also can’t seem to figure out or properly address the twisted parts of themselves. They can’t ever have a healthy relationship if they’ll keep dancing around harsh topics while also directly hurting each other when they do touch those harsh topics without ever healing wounds. Till and Ivan know or come to understand the other despite their frequent bickering, but only Till gets the chance to realize his feelings for Ivan and what Ivan felt for him. It was a feeling that Ivan didn’t understand himself and shamed himself for, and for all of Ivan’s life, neither of them really figured out they loved each other yet still saw very raw and emotional parts of each other. They may not know what it meant, but they saw it and knew of it.

None of the four had enough self-love to get the kind of love they truly wanted or deserved. They were all just so weak and helpless yet could be twisted and wrong and flawed to the other. It was easier when they were just together and didn’t worry about misunderstanding themselves or each other. Until they no longer had each other.

[misty-or-cat61117]

I find it funny how ace’s biggest regrets that ultimately ended up harming his only close ‘friends’ (both in a shipping and complicated-relationship sense) end up also saving them in a way. I think Ace would’ve done anything to reject Taylor’s offer and just not go to the race at all if he knew it would save him, and I think Ace would’ve wanted to have never harmed Arei if it meant that his murder was some sort of butterfly effect into Levi being hurt and Ace dying in the end anyway. His weak attempt at finally making up for the two deaths he causes ends up just hurting Levi.

But despite both situations being Ace’s fault, he also saves them. Even if Ace won the race, he would’ve rejected the offer to become an Ultimate and most likely recommend Taylor to be its holder due to how close the two are in skill. But then Taylor would’ve ended up in the killing game and have his biggest secret exposed, either dying early by murder or a painful execution or surviving through everything with trauma, and would live in fear for his life everyday. And even though it’s Ace’s (and also Teruko’s) fault for Levi getting hurt, he dies in order to atone for that and let Levi get proper medical care.

He really sucks at everything and he causes a lot of harm, but he also ends up atoning for it through self-sacrifice.

[misty-or-cat61117]

Ace Markey you really were a National 1 fumbler he was not lying when he said he’s not good at anything but jockey. His bf died and then his situationship gets a clip unloaded on him if we let any more men get closer to Ace he’s gonna come after Teruko’s Lucky Student title

[misty-or-cat61117]

Breaking down the new Mizisua comic because hoo boy this is the clearest backstory for Mizisua we’re probably ever going to get considering Vivimengs writing

Honestly, the situation presented is pretty basic and should have a predictable path to go down. Mizi needs to escape from home and asks Sua to help her until Mizi is ready to be independent, which Sua accepts.

But already we see a very clear weak spot considering the people we’re talking about. It’s the fact that Mizi wants to be independent. In response to that, Sua repeatedly reassures that it’s okay for Mizi to keep relying on her and that she likes Mizi for her kind character.

Sua has never been the kind of person to state what she wants, and more or less states it through her actions and implications. It seems like a fawn response, where she thinks if she can get Mizi to believe Sua is a good person and that Mizi herself is a good person as well, then there is no need to part when they both love each other in a stable relationship. Because the reason Mizi wants to eventually leave is because well…it’s just a little too codependent and a bit of a burden on Sua. Sua knows this, so we can see everything after this conversation as an attempt on both parties to make their love work so they don’t have to part.

By Sua rejecting Mizi’s offer to pay her back, as noble as it initially seems, it has a sinister undertone in their relationship that almost all the time, one party is being taken advantage of by the other. Mizi does want to be on equal grounds with Sua, despite her main reason to come to Sua is because she needs help and has no one else to get it from. Mizi still loves Sua and wishes she could help her as much as Sua helps her, but when Sua rejects this, she worsens the stability of their relationship by coming across as incredibly one-sided in efforts. It’s like Sua wants to be the one in an everlasting debt towards Mizi rather than paying it off by letting Mizi pay her back, grow on her own and inevitably still choose to love her regardless.

Of course, Mizi does have doubts and hesitation about this because she can clock that Sua is being incredibly passive about this, to another degree that is unhealthy.

Initially, Mizi ‘pities’ Sua and almost shocked Sua actually agreed, like she doesn’t process the fact Sua loves her. She really does believe Sua is the rat she killed and allowing herself to be fully taken advantage of. She feels guilty over it, because even though it was Mizi who asked, shes always been self-loathing and denies herself of getting what she wants from other people despite how much she wants their love and understanding of her twisted character. She doesn’t think she deserves it.

To give Sua some credit, I think this panel is probably the most genuine and kindest thing Sua says. Both Sua and Mizi have the wrong view of Mizi, but no matter what the other thinks, it’s still absurd to believe Mizi is one specific idea of herself. I know she immediately clarified she means that Mizi is actually wholly innocent and understanding, but from a general perspective, it’s very comforting. To know from someone else that your perspective isn’t the whole truth feels accepting, like they’re admitting they know you better because even they don’t have the full idea of you. Sua looks so wounded at the idea of Mizi being evil, and would definitely not appreciate the treatment ALNST Mizi recieves after living as a witch.

The problem comes from the fact that Sua immediately then states that her very flat and ironically 2D idea is correct.

But then, she’s angry. Angry at Sua and maybe at herself too for letting Sua get so close, so close that Sua is really the only person she can depend on out of anyone else. She doesn’t want to be seen as fragile and innocent, and while Sua is partially right because it’s out of self-loathing, it’s also just because Mizi really is twisted. It’s demeaning and dismissive of her whole character to view her as fully innocent, because it plays into the facade Mizi must uphold. To fully love Mizi is to acknowledge her good and bad and to support her throughout it. If you only acknowledge her good, she’s like a ‘pet’, the pet was under Shine’s control, the pet under the K-pop Industry, and the pet she feels like when Sua is there. If you only acknowledge her bad, she becomes the witch everyone despises.

Even through her anger though, Mizi loves Sua so much that out of everyone who has hurt her and oppressed her, she gives Sua ‘verbal consent’ to see her as said pet. To demean her and degrade her into something Sua wants her to be. Everyone else has physically harmed her in order to view her as a pathetic weak girl, so if she really is doomed to be viewed that way, then she may as well feel like she has some control in ‘allowing’ Sua to hit her compared to everyone else who ‘hits’ her without caring for what she thinks.

Oddly enough, Mizi is both correct and incorrect, as she mostly has the means and intentions of how Sua wants her to act wrong. It’s not Sua wanting to hurt Mizi to establish control, it’s Sua wanting Mizi to hurt her to establish mutual love, unintentionally taking control of Mizi in the process. It’s why Sua lets Mizi to hit her, acting as a sort of ‘longlasting consent’ when Mizi slaps at her years later. After all, it’s not ‘You can hit me now,’ but rather ’You can hit anytime you feel like it.’

She believes through this process of degradation, she could understand what Mizi feels.

If Mizi hits her, she too feels the sting in her cheeks numbing the pain. If Mizi views her as a ‘pet,’ then Sua can understand how Mizi has felt her whole life. If Mizi temporarily abandons her, she too understands how lonely it feels to be by herself. It may be partially why she lets Mizi become an idol without her— she’s very happy for, of course, but she knows that the dream was always Mizi’s and even if Sua did enjoy some aspects of it, everything is for Mizi in the end. Even if Mizi becomes a little busy, it’ll be okay, because that loneliness is passed on to her on a way. It’s a mix of both wanting to be there for Mizi because of Mizi’s mental health but also because she could be someone Mizi could entirely need and depend on, which she highlights the most when comforting her. If she can wholly understand Mizi’s pain, then that too is an indicator that they don’t need to ever truly part. It’s less of a genuine attempt from a loved one to comfort another through a long tedious journey of healing and understanding, but more of a task or duty Sua believes she must uphold for Mizi to just suddenly ‘feel better.’

The problem comes when Mizi goes away for too long and entirely leaves her alone, which is not what Sua wants. She knows Mizi doesn’t want it either, but rather than properly communicating, she lets the zombie go after Mizi and find a way to regain the unintentional control she has over their relationship.

I believe the almost-kiss at the very end is meant to represent Mizisua being, on a surface level, truly close to a perfect ideal romance. They loved each other deeply and did support each other throughout most of their lives. However, because of their enabling behaviors, miscommunication, Mizi’s violence and submissiveness, and Sua’s control and dehumanizing view of Mizi, they never fully reach it.

After all, the closest they get in the kiss is when they’re both infected. And despite Sua’s wants, it’s still not a true happy ending. It’s ’the closest they could ever get.’