Mistye | 24 | INFJ | Writer | Welcome to my trash blog where I do what I want. Mostly BNHA, Aesthetic and Writing things. I write BNHA stuff. Thirsty for BNHA teachers.
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Featuring works in: Fantasy AU, Halloween AU, Villain!Deku, All Might, Big Three, 1A / 1B Girls, League of Villains, BakuShima / KiriBaku, EraserMight, IzuOcha, KacChako, KatsuDeku / BakuDeku, ShinDeku, TodoDeku, and Rarepairs!
(( Do you like reading BNHA fics? Do you like BNHA fanart? Angst? Fluff? Well then the BNHA Mirrors Zine is a perfect match for you!! With other many fantastic artists and writers, Iāll be contributing to one of the many categories of angst and fluff creations in this huge collaborative project. Keep an eye out for updates, weāll be selling physical and digital prints! ))
What is a Reverse Big Bang?Ā The goal of any Big Bang is to fill the fandomās tag in one big ābangā over a period of a few days. A Reverse Big Bang is when fan-artists create a piece and writers create a piece for it. The pieces then come together to tell a complete story in the end. The appeal of a reverse big bang is that it allows artists to be more creative, as to not be constrained by what a writer writes, and the minimum word counts for writers tend to be lower.
THERE IS NO SKILL REQUIREMENTĀ
People will not be paired with each other based on skill, but rather what they can accomplish within a short period of time (See the tiers here!) . That means that all applicants will be accepted.Ā
Applications close April 3 (See the schedule here!)Ā
It's well into the afternoon when Hizashi wakes up and there's nothing graceful about how he does so. His body is heavy and he doesn't want to get out of bed, but the burning need to pee forces him to do so. He has to wrestle the sheets from his body before he slowly sits up and stumbles to the bathroom, paying no mind to the towel laying on the floor.
He doesn't bother with his pants when he's done, instead just leaves them with the towels after he washes his hands. From his dresser, he pulls out a pair of simple black thigh stockings and from his closet, a knitted ivory colored sweaterdress. He stopped wearing his cute clothes around Saitei because he didn't like how rough he always seemed to get whenever he did. There'd even been one instance where the man had ruined one of his favorite blouses in the heat of the moment.
As he pulls on the stockings he chides himself for not shaving, feeling a little self-conscious of the visible hairs on his thighs that aren't covered by the dress or the stockings. He quickly shrugs the thought away and admires his reflection as he works his fingers through the mess of tangles in his hair.
Now dressed and a bit more awake, the voice hero makes up his bed and collects the towels and pants that had been discarded on the bathroom floor, intending to take them down the hall to be washed. Three steps outside the bedroom, he freezes up at the sound of running water in the kitchen. Before he goes into complete panic mode, he runs through everything he can remember before falling asleep.
He'd been at the radio station till nearly six after getting sick and then he'd walked home, meaning it was close to seven when he'd gotten home. He'd showered at some point, given the towels left on the floor. Beyond that, everything was a blur. The smell of food confirms that he was not alone in his apartment though he'd certainly left his station alone.
Hizashi drops the laundry to the floor and tiptoes to the kitchen, not wanting to spook whoever it was, more so for their protection since he was confident that he could protect himself. What he wasn't expecting though, was to find Toshinori humming contentedly as he stood over the stove. He glances around to find that his apartment had been cleaned. The memories from this morning flood his mind not a moment later, causing him to suck in breath and alert the other blond that he was no longer alone.
Both blue and red eyes widen when Toshinori turns around to look at Hizashi, standing in the edge of the kitchen wearing the ivory dress and black stockings.
"You stayed," he whispers as tears start to well up in his eyes.
Toshinori flashes a smile at him and then turns back to the stove. "I did."
"Oh god, you stayed," he whispers in horror a second later, "I came home a mess and you took care of me, then you stayed."
Toshinori glances back at the voice hero to see him cover his mouth with one hand and pull at the hem of his dress with the other, fingers grazing over the small area of exposed skin on his thigh. "You'll stretch the fabric beyond repair if you continue to pull at the hem like that."
"I don't remember much of anything between coming home and waking up. Did I say say or do anything inappropriate?" he asks worriedly as he walks over to the table.
The room falls silent as Toshinori shuts off the stove and finishes preparing whatever he'd decided to cook, though Hizashi doesn't know with what ingredients since he hadn't done any grocery shopping in more than a week. The voice hero doesn't take Toshinori's silence very well and goes through everything that happened this morning, desperately trying to determine just how much he'd embarrassed himself in front of the other blond.
He remembered that after his shower, he'd ended up sitting in the bath for a little bit as his skin still smelt of his pomegranate soap and sesame body oil. But Hizashi couldn't for the life of him, remember where Toshinori was in all of this.
"Hizashi?" The blond watches Toshinori's lithe figure as he walks from the kitchen and joins him at the table. "What's on your mind?" he asks, placing a bowl of soup in front of him.
"You didn't answer my question, Yagi," he mutters.
"That's what you're worried about?"
Hizashi furrows his brow as the other blond slurps a spoonful of soup. "What else should I be worrying about? Did you do something while I was sleep?" he playfully accuses, narrowing his eyes. The statement surprises Toshinori, causing the man to choke on his soup.
"O-Of course I didn't. That's not funny, Hizashi," the man pouts.
"Sorry, but it was a perfect opportunity, Yagi," he apologizes and reaches for Toshinori's hand.
"You confuse me," he sighs, drawing soothing circles on the back of Hizashi's hand. Hizashi tucks his hair behind his ear with his free hand, smiling and waiting to see if the other blond has more to add before asking what he means, though he already had an inkling to what he was getting at.
"I still confuse Shouta too, so don't feel bad," he assures, gently squeezing Toshinori's hand. "Even after fifteen years, he doesn't always get why I'm like this."
"He tries though," Toshinori explains.
Hizashi runs a hand through his hair and nods. "I know, but it was different this time. I couldn't let him in like I normally would because he was part of the reason I was hurting."
"So you sought out someone else to fill that void."
Hizashi nods again, this time pulling his hand from Toshinori's gentle grip. "I didn't mean for anything to happen between Saitei and me it just did," he stresses, standing up to pace the room as he does so.
The taller blond follows suit, recognizing the signs of a panic attack. He steps in front on the shorter man, blocking his path and holding him still by the shoulders. "Look at me, Hizashi," he instructs. The voice hero does as requested, earning a soft smile from Toshinori. "Hi beautiful," he whispers, "Talk to me. Tell me what I can do?"
"Does he hate me?" he asks, his voice cracking.
"No... No, he doesn't hate you. He could never, Hizashi," Toshinori assures.
"How do you know?"
"Because I talked to him while you were asleep," he explains. Surprised red eyes blink at him several times. "He's been worried about you, Hizashi and... well you know how he can be; he blames himself." Learning that Shouta had been beating himself up because of how he'd been acting as of late was too much.
The voice hero's knees give out and Toshinori wraps his arms around him completely and lowers them to the floor. Hizashi fists the man's shirt and he leans down so that his lips just graze the shell of his ear. Feeling Toshinori's breath ghost over his skin there sends shivers down his spine and Hizashi arches further into his embrace.
"I miss him," he sobs, "Give him back."
He immediately regrets saying those words aloud because only he knows the real meaning behind them. He wants Shouta back, but he also wants the relationship he had with Yagi before Shouta caught his attention. It wasn't fair that the voice hero had been left out in the cold so to speak.
"I don't want you to leave but I can't ask you to stay either," Hizashi coffesses.
"Then don't ask," Toshinori suggests," just tell me. Please."
"You aren't mine to tell, Yagi."
"Are you going to send me away?"
"I-I don't know what I'm going to do..."
"Is there anything you need from me?" Toshinori questions, desperate to keep the man in his arms from withdrawing into himself.
"Do you think Shouta is busy right now?" he asks, a little embarrassed that he has to ask his friend's boyfriend if they can call him.
"If he is we can leave a message," Toshinori answers, and he'll get back to us when he can. I think he'd like to hear from you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
As expected, Shouta isn't able to answer but he leaves a message like Toshinori suggests. He doesn't know if the man will be happy to hear from him considering that he probably won't even understand a damn word as he's still crying. If anything he'll only worry more, maybe even think that Toshinori had done something to upset him. So he makes sure to tell him that he really is fine and that the taller man is watching over him but still respecting him and not being too pushy. He also apologizes to Shouta for his behavior but doesn't get to finish it as the line cuts off.
He returns Toshinori's phone to him and just like this morning, he allows the man to take care of him. Toshinori reheats his soup and he eats what he can stomach until his appetite leaves him completely. Hizashi doesn't move from the table when the he gets up to clean the kitchen. Doesn't touch the tea that Toshinori makes for him, not that he thought the voice hero would actually drink any of it.
Again, he feels like he's taking advantage of Toshinori's kindness and feels that he should ask him to leave, but is it really such a bad thing for him to accept the man's attention while he can? But what if he's only here for Shouta at this point. Did Toshinori only care about him because Shouta did? Not couldn't be right though given what the man had told him that morning. How he had been forcing himself to stay away all week long.
The sun is starting to set and Shouta still has yet to call back. Toshinori notes that several students had been required to take remedial lessons to to poor performances during the practical exams and that he purposefully ran them late. Hizashi wouldn't put that kind of behavior past the man since he was always looking for a way to challenge his students, even if it meant expulsion. Even still, his fickle mind can't help but wonder that maybe Shouta is tired of dealing with him.
He spends hours at the table, speaking only when asked if he needs anything. For a while, he forgets that Toshinori is even still with him. It isn't until the man gets a text from Shouta that he even thinks about what a horrible host he's been because even when Shouta used to care for him like this, he was never this passive about having someone over.
He stands up to walk to the couch where the other blond had decided to relax, though he's still lost in his mind and ends up running into the man.
"Did you need something, Hizashi?" he asks as he reaches out to steady the shorter man.
"I was actually about to ask you that," he laughs, rubbing his stinging nose.
Toshinori blinks down at the voice hero. "There's no need to fuss over me."
"I know that you're here taking care of me, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I've been a terrible host," he states a bit too meekly for his tastes.
"Stop that," the man directs, startling Hizashi with how stern his voice sounds, " I'm here for you. I don't care that you aren't being a proper host. Even if you were well I wouldn't care because I'm here with you which is all I care about."
Hizashi is unable to say or do anything as he processes Toshinori's words. He'd clearly heard what he'd said but he couldn't grasp what he was trying to say to him. As he looks into those blue crystal eyes he knows there's no denying that he loves this man, but there's no way he can say it aloud. He'd prefer to continue to suffer than to actually ruin the beautiful thing that the two men had.
"Shouta texted me, he got your message."
"W-What did he say?" Hizashi asks quickly.
"Look for yourself," he answers, holding out his phone for him to see.
Hizashi hesitantly reaches for it, not daring to look at the screen until the device is securely in his hands.
(Shouta 19:38) I'm sorry that I can't call you right now Hizashi, but I'm sorry too. Can we please talk when I get home?
"Yagi?"
"What do you need?"
He was afraid to ask Toshinori for this favor because he didn't know how comfortable he'd with be it but decides to throw caution to the wind. "Is it okay if I send Shouta a picture?" his voice trailing off at the last word. "Obviously nothing inappropriate," he hurriedly continues when the man looks utterly confused. "I think if he sees me in this," he says motioning to his apparel, "he'll know that I'm doing okay. That I'm feeling more like myself."
"I'll take it for you if you want," Toshinori offers with a smile.
The voice hero's red eyes light up and he hands the phone back to its owner. Running into the man a few minutes prior meant that he hadn't made it far from the kitchen table so he moves to sit on it, crossing one leg over the other after he does so. He smooths out the hem of his dress, then places his hands on either side of him, folding his fingers over the edge and tilting his head to one side. When Toshinori raises his phone to snap a photo, he smiles brightly.
Though instead of snapping the photo, the man walks over to him. Hizashi freezes and closes his eyes, only feeling him reach behind his head and pull his hair from the ponytail he'd put it in. It falls with no grace whatsoever, still a little damp and frames his face with slight waves.
"Beautiful," he whispers and moves back to get the picture. Hizashi smiles again, but this time he looks far more shy with flushed cheeks and knitted eyebrows.
Hizashi slides from the table and enthusiastically takes the device as it's offered to him, typing a quick yes to Shouta's question and hitting send. He then anxiously waits a couple minutes for a reply, heart pounding and sucks in a breath when it arrives.
(Shouta 19:46) I always loved you in that one.
He looks back up to Toshinori and for the first time what feels like forever, he's happy and believes that he really will be okay. It's a shame that the feeling couldn't last.
Finals week begins without a hitch, but Hizashi already knows that it'll end in hell for him. He'd ignored all calls from Toshinori and Shouta, which hadn't been too many as they seemed to have understood that he wasn't in the mood to talk to either of them. The voice hero's weekend had consisted of him thoroughly cleaning every corner of his apartment and trashing everything that Saitei had left there. He wanted no trace of the singer to remain.
He'd spoiled himself one evening by opening a bottle of one of the finer wines that he'd been saving for a special occasion and sipped it while lazing in the bath. The weekend had been all about him and though he felt a bit better from the self-care, he still cried himself to sleep when he curled up in the center of his bed. He hated how alone it felt.
Even on Monday, the knowledge that he had to go to school and would likely have to stay after for a little while drained him of all energy that he'd gotten over the weekend from resting. His usual boisterous attitude is replaced by a reserved one, causing the students to whisper between the exams. Much to his surprise though, someone blames the sudden shift in his personality on the stress of finals, offering that as head of the English department, the voice hero probably has the toughest subject to grade and make sure that the standards are being met.
He did hate finals as the department head because it was a pain to change the curriculum when test scores weren't up to par. But it never did this to his mood and it brought a smile to his face to have someone blame his attitude of those responsibilities. It worked as a good cover for the teachers who had begun to look a little more concerned about him than he was comfortable with.
He kept to himself the entire week and when the day of the practical exam arrived, his sadistic side was more than ready to let loose a little bit. Standing alongside the rest of the teachers, Hizashi listens as Shouta informs class 1-A of their teams and their opponents. He eyes Jirou and Koda when he hears his name, already knowing how to corner the two. The look in Jirou's eyes tell him that she's underestimating the voice hero. Probably forgetting that they're facing off against pros.
In the end the pair pass their exam, just barely getting past him on time. He's absolutely pissed about how they went about it, but is able to applaud them for their creativity after being backed into the corner from the get go. As a teacher he has high hopes for each of them and believes that they'll steadily grow stronger during their time as UA students. As an individual who hates bugs, he wishes for them to suffer greatly at Shouta's hands during their training camp.
He spends a good half hour shaking any and all creepy crawlies from his person. He even lets out a soft shout, just loud enough to disturb the bugs, to ensure that they're all gone. When he meets back up with the rest of the teachers, those that had gotten a glimpse at his exam chide him for being so hard on the students before teasing him about the way that they defeated him.
Hizashi just ignores them, too exhausted to joke and tease them back. As it's the last day of exams, the teachers are going out tonight and for the first time in a long time, the voice hero expresses no interest in going. Shouta and Toshinori are going, which surprises everyone as they normally preferred just their own company. Midnight tries to coax him into going but he merely tells them that he's exhausted and just needs some rest.
He exchanges a glance with Shouta who looks worried, like him going is the reason for Hizashi opting out, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. He'd love more than anything to spend time with the them and the others, but he just can't can't handle the social interaction right now. As he heads home, he makes sure to smile at his friend, noticing a very slight darkening of his cheeks.
Right now, he hates Toshinori for being so easy to love because it makes is hard to hate him. He only wants to hate him for taking away the one person he'd been able to completely be himself around. He hates himself most of all though. Envy is an ugly thing and that's exactly how he feels because he wants what Shouta has. That one great love that only comes once in a lifetime. Though for him, it's technically two.
The voice hero normally takes proper care of himself, but the effort just doesn't seem worth it. It hadn't even when he was dating Sai. Hell, after a month of dating the man, he'd only grown more self conscious of his image than ever before because of some snide comment he'd made once. And now that it was just him, he didn't care anymore. At least for the time being.
For the next handful of days, Hizashi shuts the world out. Shouta and Toshinori call him plenty but he ignores all calls. He knows that this behavior of his is only making things worse, but it's all he can do. He can't explain it, or even begin to work through it because it only makes him feel worse about everything. After those few days of isolation, he doesn't even recognize himself.
His eyes are swollen from the endless crying and he can't tell if he's gained weight or lost it. He's taken to eating only once a day and it's nothing but junk food. Hizashi hadn't expected everything to go back to normal with Saitei out of the picture, but it wasn't supposed to be this hard either. He's stopped sleeping at night but it does nothing for him when Friday rolls around and he shows up to his radio station.
He's not of sound or sober mind for a live show, so he ends up sending his production crew home and plays a past broadcast. It's the one thing he can handle even as he steals a bottle of whiskey from one the production member's desk. He's got a strict no drinking on the show policy, but sometimes the crew will have a drink after the show which doesn't bother him. Tonight he's rather thankful for it though he feels a little bad for having drank most of its contents.
It's nearly seven am when Hizashi finally stumbles up the stairs that lead to his apartment. He'd spent a solid forty-five minutes locked in the bathroom at the studio, retching his stomach of all contents before finally managing to leave. All he wants to do is lie down and sleep forever, but the world has other plans.
He stops at the top of the stairs and watches Toshinori's lean figure straighten from the spot he was leaning against beside his door.
"Did Shouta ask you check on me since he's away?" Hizashi questions as he walks up to the door, reaching for his keys.
"Quite the opposite," the tall man mumbles, "he said that it'd be best to let you be for a time."
"I wish you had listened to him, Yagi," the voice hero huffs, struggling to get the key into the lock.
He stops his fumbling when the man beside his holds his hand still and guides him in unlocking the door. "I had been, all week in fact, but I couldn't stay away after listening to a little bit of your show last night."
His body goes limp at the statement and Toshinori is forced to hold him up against the door. "Yamada, are you alright?"
"Just fine," the voice hero sarcastically says before his head falls forward and hits the door with a solid knock.
"Let's get you inside and into something comfortable," he sighs then pushes the door open while allowing the shorter blond to lean back against him.
"Please just leave me alone," Hizashi whimpers, ashamed to be seen in his sorry state.
"I can't," he huffs, "not anymore."
Hizashi stumbles forward, nearly dragging Toshinori down with him. It takes more time and effort than necessary to get to the bedroom, but after nearly falling twice more, the two make it. Toshinori sits Hizashi down on the bed and immediately removes his speaker from around the man's neck, grimacing at the fresh bruises.
The voice hero is finally crashing, but he's fighting it. Every time his eyes drift shut, he snaps them back open. Toshinori kneels down and unzips his boots before sliding them off of his feet. He barely registers anything happening around him as his eyes follow the man's form as he stands back up.
"I'm going to warm the shower for you, can you undress yourself the rest of the way?"
Hizashi only knows that he nods because he watches Toshinori turn away from and walk into his bathroom. He doesn't know what he should do. Part of him wants to let the man stay and allow himself to be taken care of, but he's also afraid of relinquishing control, not that he's in control of anything in his life right now. So he does the one thing that always calms him; he sings.
"When the lights go down..."
Singing is the one of the few things that he's never had to think about. He doesn't even have to think of a song to sing. The lyrics just always seem to come to him. He slides his jacket off his shoulders, letting it fall to the bed then pulls his shirt over his head.
"...heaven only knows I can't keep up at all." He pays Toshinori no mind when he comes back into the bedroom, eyes wide as the taller blond admires Hizashi's lean form while he continues to undress and sing to himself. "Looks like you got the best of me, maybe the fool in me..."
Standing in nothing but a pair of lacy black underwear, Hizashi is guided to the shower, his mind in a fog from the alcohol and the song. "I'm going to make you some food," he hears Toshinori say before he leaves him once again.
Hizashi almost forgets to remove his panties before stepping under the warm stream. He stands under the water, head bent forward, and lets the water run through his greasy locks.
"Running down a lonely road, here we go, here we go again," he sings to himself. Was he ever going to learn to not allow himself to get too invested in a person? How many times in the past had he let someone use him and then leave him in pieces because they'd not taken care of him? How many times had Shouta been inconvenienced because of his fickle heart?
But it wasn't Shouta here right now. It was the man's boyfriend. Shouta put up with him because they'd been friends for so long but the other blond had no obligations to him whatsoever, not that Hizashi thought Shouta was in any way obligated to take care of him for any reason.
"Was it love we were making? Or have you traded it all?"
He thinks he hears the door open for a brief moment then softly click shut again as he finally moves to massage shampoo into his hair. His movements are slow, languid even as he has no desire to leave the warm confines of the shower. After his hair is clean and conditioned, he moves to the bath, wrapping his hair up while the tub fills up.
"Yamada, do you need anything?" Toshinori asks from the other side of the door. A shiver runs down Hizashi's spine and he gets into the warm bath water a little too quickly, splashing a bit of water onto the floor. "Yamada?" The doorknob turns and his stomach drops. He's going to be sick.
"C-could I have something to drink?" he finally asks, stopping Toshinori from coming in.
"Of course," he answers. Hizashi can hear the smile in his voice. "Would you try to eat something as well?"
The thought of Toshinori rummaging about his filthy apartment is more than a little embarrassing. He doesn't even know what he has to eat in his kitchen since he'd not had a proper meal in days. His stomach lets out a low grumble at the mention of food so he agrees to try.
In the time that he's left alone, Hizashi grabs both his body wash and begins to work it into a gentle lather over his tired skin. He takes a deep breath and smiles at the pomegranate scented suds; sweet and slightly acidic. He leans back and lifts his legs from the water one at at a time, noting that he should shave as he massages the soap into his legs. It was something he used to do for himself when he felt like, because he liked how soft his skin felt. That had changed though with Saitei as the younger man had all but demanded that Hizashi keep himself groomed. It became a chore more so than a way to relax himself.
"You're never gonna love me, so what's the use?" the voice hero starts again.
"Who are you singing that song for?"
Head still resting on the edge of the tub, Hizashi looks over at Toshinori and smiles softly at him. "I don't know, but it makes me feel better so I guess it doesn't matter?" he asks, the question being more directed at himself than his temporary caretaker.
"That's a good way to think about it. May I come in?"
"What?"
"You look comfortable in the bath and I don't want you to get out quite yet if that's the case. But if you'd rather me wait-"
"Don't go," Hizashi interrupts, sitting up and splashing more water over the side of the tub. Toshinori pushes the door the rest of the way open and walks over to the bath, setting a glass of something fizzy and some crackers on the counter before he does so. "Yagi the wa-" he tries to warn but the man doesn't seem to care as he kneels beside the tub.
"I'm here, Hizashi," he whispers, "I'll be here until you're comfortable enough for me to leave."
Hizashi just nods at him and waits as he stands to grab the food and drink that had been brought for him. Toshinori holds the glass to him and he takes a sip; lemon lime soda. The bubbles prevent him from being able down it in one go but they also help settle his stomach a bit.
He eyes Toshinori as the man offers him a cracker. He could hold the glass in one hand and take it with his free one, but then it'd get soggy and probably taste like his body wash, which would not leave a pleasant taste in his mouth not matter how good it smelt. That only left him with one option; to allow the other blond to feed him.
Hizashi bites his cheek and looks at Toshinori, who's still holding the cracker out to him, before sighing and leaning forward to take the offered food. He doesn't crush it between his teeth immediately, Rather he holds it between his lips then uses his tongue to push the entire cracker into his mouth before chewing it to bits. It's a little stale, but it's simple and won't leave him hanging over with toilet for takes another sip of his soda then another cracker as it's offered.
The two blonds move through this motion in a comfortable silence, interrupted only by Hizashi eating, until Toshinori notices the first shiver.
"Perhaps it's time you get out now?"
"Yeah," Hizashi answers, "starting to get cold."
With a nod, Toshinori stands up, taking the near empty glass from Hizashi's hands, and gives him some privacy. After the door is pulled shut, he finally stands and reaches for a towel to wrap around his waist. He takes his time, gently patting his skin dry before applying a tiny amount of his lightly sesame scented body oil. He slips on the fresh panties and sweatpants that Toshinori had left for him. He feels like he should properly blow dry his hair but the bath had forced him to relax and all he wanted to do was sleep forever, so he settles for carefully brushing out the tangles.
Toshinori is sitting at the foot of his bed when he opens the bathroom door and he notices that the man's pants are still wet causing him to frown. He doesn't see, or at least doesn't acknowledge, the other blond's quizzical expression as he walks over to his closet in search of the one pair of pants that are too long for him. He sighs when he finds them, disappointed that they aren't as long as he thought they were but brings them over to Toshinori regardless.
"They're probably still too short for you, but should fit otherwise so you can dry your own pants," he says meekly and holds them out to him.
"Thank you," Toshinori responds and takes them, purposely letting his fingers glide over the backs of Hizashi's hands. "Are you going to sleep now?"
"Yeah," he sighs, "I can barely stand up."
"Then I won't disturb you anymore," he says and stands up, "I hope that you're able to sleep soundly, Hizashi."
The voice hero smile to himself as he pulls back the covers from his bed then climbs underneath them. "You weren't," he breaths, eyes immediately drifting shut, "disturbing me, Yagi."
Hizashi is asleep right after the name passes his lips, unaware that the individual in question had heard him.
For @mistye-dawne who won the 200 follower giveaway and wanted soft erasermight mornings.
Iāll be cleaning it up and posting to AO3 later!
Patrols have been easier, lately. Not because ShÅta has been taken a less dangerous routeā truthfully, heās been taking harder and longer patrolsā but because thereās something to look forward to when he gets home, no matter what god-awful hour it is. Or someone, rather.
Thereās two camps in the hero world: one that maintains that personal relationships are a poor choice in the hero career and those who believe them utterly necessary. ShÅta used to be firmly in the camp of the former: it is illogical to attach oneās self to another in a personal relationship when one knows their life could end tragically as part of their daily routine. Why cause more hurt where it isnāt needed? Obviously humans canāt go completely without personally connection but itās best not to let those relationship become too deep, too personal.
And then All Might started teaching at UA.
No, ShÅta muses as he traverses the rooftops in the heavy rain, no it truly began when ShÅta himself started teaching, if heās being honest with himself. But All Might arriving made something shift and set off a chain of events that would lead to ShÅta shifting his own perspective on the matter. Now here he is, nearly a year later, and going home to Toshinori and musing on the subtle progression from hero name to first name and all the emotions that were felt during that transition.
What a difference a single year can make.
As his apartment comes into view, ShÅta spots the warm light still lit from within even as the storm rages on and the hour ticks over from late to early. His hair sticking to his face, his clothes clinging to his form, and only saved from shivering by the exertion of his muscles leaping from rooftop to rooftop, ShÅta feels a warmth bloom in his chest. He pauses, crouched on the rooftop next to their building and watches the window for a long moment, searching for signs of life.
Heād told Toshinori when they were first becoming friends that the worst part of patrols was coming home to a dark home. It had been a rare moment of melancholy, brought on by a long day after a longer night. It had been brief and never mentioned again, ShÅta himself had forgotten the comment until months later, the first patrol he had after Toshinori had moved in and he saw the light on.
That strange bubbling warmth that filled him then still fills him every time he sees that guiding light welcoming him home.
ShÅta shakes his head at his own illogical musings: itās still pouring rain and he could be inside already. With one last flying leap ShÅta is on his own roof and then heās clambering down the building to his small deck and sliding open the door. Thereās already a towel on the nearby kotatsu, folded neatly, and another on the floor where heās dripping. Quietly, ShÅta toes out of his boots while stripping out of his sopping uniform and tossing the lot of it into a waiting laundry basket. He pads softly into the apartment after drying off, the warmth of it almost stinging his chilled skin. As quietly as he can he opens the bedroom door turning off the hall light as he does so.
For a long moment he leans against the frame of the door, admiring the way the street lights from outside faintly illuminate the man in his bed. The yellow-white light making Toshinoriās sharp cheek bones look just a bit softer and ease the shadows under and around his eyes. His mouth is just slightly open as he breathes deeply and evenly.
When they first moved in together one of them entering the room would immediately awaken the other. Thatās not the case anymore.
Drinking in his fill of sleeping Toshinori, ShÅta crawls into bed while stepping around Toshinoriās open suitcase that heād finally begun unpacking, snaking an arm around the other manās waist and pressing his lips to the back of his neck.
āMmm,ā grumbles Toshinori, mostly still asleep, āwelcome home ShÅta.ā
ShÅtaās heart skips a beatā the words still unfamiliar after going so long without. He shifts, pleased but awkward, as he responds, āthank you,ā pressing a kiss to the other manās forehead.
But Toshinori is already asleep again and ShÅta follows soon after, guided home to port.
ShÅta wakes slowly, drifting lazily between dreams and wakefulness in a way that quickly becomes unfamiliar to heroes but has become more and more common in ShÅtaās life. Soothed by the feelings of warmth and comfort he reaches over to grab at the warm body that should be there, only to meet the empty spot on their bed. Grumbling, ShÅtaās mine turns firmly āonā and he wakes, stubbornly keeping his eyes closed even as his ears tune in to the sound of his partner (god when did that happen, part of ShÅta still wonders, as if he could ever forget the moment they declared their feelings for eachother) padding softly in the other room; gentle jazz music croons in the air from the record player Toshinori brought when he moved in: one of the few mementos he had that was older than his time teaching at UA.
ShÅta strains slightly to hear the sound he knows is there, flopping onto his back and tossing his forearm over his eyes as he does so. As his ears finally catch the low tones of Toshinori singing quietly along to the music, ShÅta canāt help the way his lips quirk fondly. He breathes deeply, listening to his lover sing, letting the music cradle him as he sinks more deeply into the bed and the warm patch of sunlight thatās caressing him just so. Heās not quite asleep when the sound of coffee percolating joins the mini-symphony followed soon by the sound of something hitting the frying pan: judging by the smell the wafts in, Toshinoriās making eggs over rice, one of the few things he can stomach eating after particularly grueling patrols.
When did he figure that out, ShÅta wonders to himself lazily. A nagging feeling presses into him: not like dread but more of something warm and hopeful. Slowly, his arm falls from his face and he looks to Toshinoriās side, where dark rimmed glasses sit atop a book about teaching. Toshinori denied vehemently that he needed the glasses but always squinted awfully when reading: ShÅta had gotten him the pair after making the other man try several on until he admitted which pair helped him read better in his own round about manner. The lamp besides the book is also Toshinoriāsā a simple delicate thing that Toshinori had hemmed and hawed about buying until ShÅta rolled his eyes and told him it would help his eyesight, at the very least.
Toshinori had gotten a strange look on his face then, as he asked if ShÅta had thought it would good in their room. ShÅta doesnāt remember his exact phrasing but he remembers the soft delighted look on Toshinoriās face. A slow wave fills him, as he props himself up on an elbow, looking around their room.
Thereās Toshinoriā jacket, thereās his stretch band, thereās his socks that he always forgets to put in the hamper and the small collection of books ranging from high fantasy to educational teaching material taking up nearly an entire shelf on what was ShÅtaās bookcase. Thereās the curtains Toshinori picked out after ShÅta had complained of waking up easily: black out curtains to keep out the lights of the city, something ShÅta had wanted but couldnāt justify buying for himself. Thereās the rug at the base of the bed: a bed which Toshinori had brought over when heād moved in as agreed upon due to Toshinoriās poor health.
Toshinori had moved in weeks ago: so why is it only now that ShÅta realizes that this is no longer his apartment as heād been thinking it of and is instead theirs?
Quickly, like snapshots, ShÅta remembers the progression of the past few weeks: asking Toshinori to move in with him, the careful hesitant way he brought his things over, the way the music had been so quiet at first and Toshinoriās low singing had been near impossible to hear, the way he only just started unpacking his suitcases, even though itās been weeks, like heād been expecting ShÅta to change his mindā¦
Because he had been, ShÅta realizes. And ShÅta hadnāt done anything to reassure him, he realizes sitting up straight and hands clenched in the quilt, he hadnāt helped Toshinori ease in at all, instead taking harder and harder patrols to avoid his own awkwardness at sharing his space with another so intimately. Heād made no secret of how he felt about relationships and love before: had he ever explained his changed feelings on the matter? Had he been too reckless? Too quick to move in with Toshinori, when he canāt even keep the other man feeling secure in his place in ShÅtaās home?
No, ShÅta thinks, mind grinding to a halt, our home, not mine.
It hadnāt been a whim, asking Toshinori to move in with him. It had been the product of nearly a yearās worth of emotion and turmoil. Quick by an civilianās standards but fairly average in a Heroās. ShÅta had spent months turning the idea over in his mind, imagining it, longing for it. He thinks to last night, the way their home shone so brightly in the dark to guide him back to their shared bed and the winding tension releases.
No, ShÅta reaffirms, this has been the best thing to have ever happened to me.
And despite ShÅtaās own fumbling, it seems Toshinori has begun to make himself at home, finding his way on his own. But he shouldnāt have to, ShÅta decided then, not if theyāre going to do this. Toshinori shouldnāt have to stand tall and alone anymore, not with ShÅta by his side.
The sound of Toshinori padding closer to the bedroom registers to ShÅta and he panics for a moment, not quite ready or sure of what to say. Toshinori opens the door, mug of coffeeā light and sweet ShÅta already knows, just the way he likes itā with a smile on his face and ShÅtaās scrambling mind goes quiet, instantly soothed by Toshinoriās presence.
āOh! ShÅta youāre awake!ā Toshinori exclaims when he spots him, smiling wider and taking less care to quiet his steps as he approaches and hands ShÅta the mug, āI was coming by to wake youā I know you hate to sleep too late no matter how little you slept during the night,ā Toshinori says fondly if also slightly exasperated.
The warmth of the mug is nothing compared to the warmth of Toshinori or the warmth blooming in his chest as he stares intently at Toshinori.
Toshinori falters slightly, tugging at his bangs, āare you okay?ā He frets, fingers fluttering towards ShÅta but not quite touching, unsure.
ShÅta never wants Toshinori to be unsure.
Carefully, he places the mug on the side table and reaches forward, tugging Toshinori down with him until they both flop onto the bed side by side, mindful of Toshinoriās old injury. A moment of arranging has their legs entwined and their arms wrapped around eachother as they breath eachother in.
āShÅta?ā Toshinori asks in a whisper, āthe food, and the coffee, theyāll get cold.ā
ShÅta hums in acknowledgement, even as he presses his lips to the otherās sunny hair.
āStay here with me,ā ShÅta asks without really asking.
Toshinori chuckles and settles more firmly into the mattress making ShÅta hum slightly in contentment. Carefully, he pets at Toshinoriās back until every bit of held tension is released and heās pliant in ShÅtaās arms.
ShÅta presses presses another kiss to Toshinoriās hair, eyes shut as heās soothed into a restful state once more, the most soothing balm to his anxieties by his side once more.
The thought occurs to him as he hovers between sleep and wakefulness, jazz music still playing faintly somewhere in the distance and a Toshinori breathing deeply in his arms. He leans forward and murmurs just for Toshinori to hear, the little words that have come to mean so much to him.
āHmmā¦ what was that?ā Toshinori murmurs, stirred briefly.
Oh, how strange, you seem to have stumbled across the innās archives. How peculiar indeed.
Nevertheless, we see you are a curious mind with an interest in our establishment and are ever so grateful for it. We believe you should have been given a tour of the inn already, if not, never fear. We will deliver one shortly.
How about we begin with our weekly schedule, hmm? We have a wonderful amount of activities within the inn, ranging from magic lessons to understanding the history of the land and weaponry practices.Ā
Ah, we see you are particular invested in the timeline of the innās establishment, how lovely!
Well, dear traveler, follow us.
We are delighted to announce the schedule we will be following for the BNHAĀ Myths Zine!!Ā
ā” a ritual bath, with rose quartz, rose petals, oils, himalayan salt and lavender for self love or to show love to a deity (such as Aphrodite).
ā” create or update an altar- for yourself or Aphrodite. use sea shells, photos of those you love and admire, chocolate, rose petals, pearls and whatever else holds significance to you.
ā” write a love letter to yourself. seal it with a kiss, a ribbon or a wax seal.
ā” write poetry, or a story. or, if you canāt get the words down, simply close your eyes and daydream.
ā” kitchen magic! for example, bake yourself brownies but add your own magic / ingredients into them (crushed biscuit, spices, salted caramel, honey, white chocolateā¦)
ā” lay out a tarot spread for love or romance.
ā” make a love potion or spell. there are two excellent masterposts for this by orriculum and heatherwitch.
ā” go to your local flower shop and buy some flowers or seeds- most flowers correspond to love, but especially roses, jasmine and lilac. if you canāt afford them, pick dandelions or daisies off the pavement and place them in a little water.
ā” practice kindness. give to a charity, cuddle your pet, compliment strangers, be indulgent and buy something you know you donāt need but wantā¦
"Yamada," he hears someone whisper. His back hurts and the lighting in the room burns even though his eyes are still closed. "Yamada, wake up," the voice says a bit more urgently.
"Let me sleep."
When he hears the chuckle, Hizashi knows that it's Toshinori who's stirred him. That's a nice thing to imagine: waking up to the taller man's voice. And then the reality settles in that it's Toshinori in the lounge right now which meant that Shouta had to be at the school already as well. His eyes snap open and he shoots up, greeted by the blond's bright smile that he's missed seeing so much. It wasn't fair to be teased by such a sight right now.
"Shouta? Where isā"
"He's probably only just leaving his apartment now," the blond answers before Hizashi can finish his question.
The voice hero sighs in relief and rests his head on his knees, several loose hairs covering his face. Toshinori reaches forward to brush the strands behind Hizashi's ear, still smiling at him as he turns his head and open his red eyes. His fingers linger on Hizashi's cheek for a moment and they sit silently for a moment, just staring at one another until Hizashi immediately feels just as he did when Toshinori was near before Shouta had asked him out.
"I'm not going to ask questions right now because I'm sure you don't want to look like this when Shouta gets here, but I do wonder if we might be able to talk at some point?"
Hizashi had known that it was likely he'd be discovered by someone this morning and that word would get back to Shouta for sure. However, seeing as it was Shouta's boyfriend who had woken him, maybe he could keep this under wraps for a little while.
"Can I trust you, Yagi?"
Hizashi can see the hurt in his eyes, but he needs to hear him say it. Just that simple affirmation is all he's asking for.
"You can trust me, Yamada," he answers and takes one of Hizashi's hands in his.
The physical contact is comfortable, though perhaps a little inappropriate.
"Promise me that you won't tell Shouta that you found me here this morning and I'll answer anything you want to know," he says and gently squeezes the hand holding his.
"Yamada, I don't know..."
"I hurt him last night, Yagi," Hizashi sighs and looks down at their joined hands, "And I lied because I never had any intention of calling him for help. I couldn't face him and I knew that by coming here instead of going to him was only going to hurt him more." He pauses to look up into Toshinori's eyes, which are fixed on him.
"You're right, Yamada," he says, "but you can't shut him out forever. He needs you in his life more than you realize."
"But I'm not me right now," Hizashi counters, "No one needs this mess I've become."
For the slightest moment the voice hero thinks that Toshinori might continue this pointless argument, but the man looks down at his phone and sighs. "You better go get changed, Shouta's almost here."
Hizashi doesn't look at nor say anything as he slips out of the banana yellow sleeping bag. Toshinori probably thought that he was being childish and was planning to go tell Shouta right now. But as he's returning the sleeping bag from where he took it, the taller blond steps behind him and wraps his arms around Hizashi's shoulders.
He freezes and what little of his emotional wall he was able to build overnight crumbles to dust.
"You can't do this, Yagi," he says, voice hitching when the man's name falls from his lips.
"I can and I will," Toshinori retorts.
His mind flashes to the closeness he once had with the other blond. How easily they had befriended one another. He thinks about that night in Shouta's hospital room, how it had been then that Hizashi had started to realize just how he felt about Toshinori. They'd grown closer because of how they both cared for the erasure hero. He'd really fallen for Toshinori when he saw that he cared about Shouta just as much as he did.
"I should really go change now," he says sheepishly, suddenly aware of the lack of space between them.
"Oh, right." Toshinori unwraps his arms from the voice hero and steps back to allow him room to leave. "You'll find me after finals are done for the day?"
Hizashi turns to smile at him at the door, red eyes watery, but for the first time in several weeks they aren't tears of sadness or frustration and his smile doesn't feel fake.
He makes it to the locker rooms without incident and begins to dress in his usual attire, pausing for only a moment to look at the bruises on his neck. He moves to brush his fingers over the darkened handprint shaped marks but stops to remind himself that Saitei is gone. That he won't ever be back to hurt him. Still, he was unnerved by the fact that he had genuinely cared for someone who was content to hurt him in such a manner, knowing how important his voice was.
He shakes his head to rid those thoughts from his mind and instead thinks about just what he's going to say to Toshinori. He also can't help but wonder if the blond is with Shouta right now, telling him about their encounter. He really hopes not because if he is, the erasure hero will undoubtedly confront Hizashi later in the day. If he's upset enough, Shouta might even pull him aside during lunch.
He sees Shouta only once throughout the day and it's in passing as the voice hero steps inside classroom 1-A for English. The dark-haired man offers no greeting when he steps inside. Doesn't even glance at Hizashi when he walks past or as he slides the door closed once he's in the hallway. Like normal, Shouta is unreadable to the world around him and if Hizashi didn't know him as well as he did, then he too would have no clue as to what was on the erasure hero's mind.
But the silent treatment told the voice hero everything he needed to know. That he too needed space. Space to think due to how undone he'd become. As distant and aloof as he appeared, Shouta was only human and could only handle so much emotional stress before he cracked. And he always seemed to crack when it came to him.
Each time, Hizashi felt guilty and each time Shouta would tell him that he'd only gotten so worked up because he cared and felt that he was useless. That he'd been frustrated with himself because he didn't think that he was helping. He'd never been the best with emotional comfort but he had always tried for Hizashi's sake which he appreciated, even though he knew that the erasure hero just didn't understand most of the time.
When lunch rolls around, the voice hero is really regretting his decision to sleep at the school. The muscles in his lower back are sore and though he's used to how his speaker digs into his skin a little, it's more than a little uncomfortable after what happened with the singer followed by a night of not being properly supported as he slept. He has half a mind to remove the device to let the bruises breath, but there's far too many people about and he doesn't feel like spending the entire hour locked in the bathroom. He already has to skip the midday meal so he can finish preparing the English exams as finals began in only a few days.
When the day is over, Mic is the first to arrive to the conference room, remembering that Shouta and the principal had asked a number of several other teachers for their help in the practical exams for the first year hero course students. The meeting doesn't last long as Shouta barely allows Principal Nedzu to get a word in.
Given the attack that had happened at the beginning of the term and also looking at the performances from the sports festival, the erasure hero is convinced that neither class has anything to gain by using the old method of facing bots. His idea has assigned pairs facing off against a specific teacher based on a number of things that Hizashi is sure Shouta looked over several times before coming to his final decisions.
After the man has explained and informed the other teachers who they will be assigned to, he hands them each a file to be looked over. The voice hero isn't surprised by the pair that's been assigned to beat him, which makes him feel sorry for them. It'll be an uphill battle for each pair, but he knows that there are a couple of teachers, one being himself, that will prove to be far more challenging than the others given the nature of their quirks.
As the others file out of the room, Hizashi remains seated and flips through the file he'd been handed. He has to force himself to pay more attention it rather than the hushed whispers at the door. From the corner of his eye he can see that it's Toshinori and Shouta and his stomach drops. Had the other blond cracked and told Shouta about this morning? He takes a deep breath, wincing at how the action slightly moves the speaker around his neck, and prepares himself because even though Shouta hadn't said a word to him to all day, if he knew what had happened with Saitei the previous night he'd definitely have more than one thing to say to the voice hero.
But it's not Shouta's voice he hears after another minute of listening to the whispers.
"Yamada, shall we head out?" Toshinori asks, head cocked to the side as he smiles down at him.
Hizashi looks up at him and then to the door. Shouta is still there, staring straight at him and he flinches at the hard gaze. The action makes the dark-haired man slump his shoulders and turn away from the blonds. His chest tightens and he gets up to go after him, but Toshinori grabs his arm.
"If you go after him now, you'll have to tell him everything," the man states, causing Hizashi to pause, "Are you prepared for that?"
"I don't know," the voice hero admits, "but he's upsetā"
"With me, Yamada."
The voice hero pulls from Toshinori's grip and turns on him. "What do you mean?" he snaps.
"I asked him to trust me."
"Why wouldn't he trust you?" The taller blond runs a hand through his hair, sighing and closing his eyes. When he opens them he looks into Hizashi's for a moment before shaking his head. "You told him that he should wait at home, while you spend your evening with another man... again," he teases and smirks.
The voice hero laughs as Toshinori's hollowed cheeks flush a bright shade of red. It's genuine laugh, one that brings him to tears.
"I'm only trying to help, Yamada," he tries to explain.
"No, you just want to ask about what you saw this morning," he says dryly, mood suddenly turning sour. Hizashi grabs up his file from the table and turns on his heel, leaving Toshinori alone in the middle of the room.
"Yamada, please wait," the taller man pleads.
The hurt in the man's voice brings to him to a stop.
"Listen, I stayed here last night because my place feels dirty and I just wasn't in the mood to clean it after I'd gotten home..." he pauses to look back at Toshinori who has his arms folded over his chest, waiting to hear the part that Hizashi really doesn't want to talk about. "I kicked Saitei out last night too."
"Is he really gone?" he questions, voice full of doubt.
"You saw the bruises on my neck, of course he's gone," he sobs, only just noticing the tears that had welled up. The voice hero listens as Toshinori walks over to stand behind him, acutely aware of close he tries to get. He turns to face him and holds out his hand to keep the taller blond an arm's length away. "Why are you two doing this?" he whispers barely loud enough for Toshinori to hear.
"What do you mean?"
Hizashi honestly hadn't meant for those words to leave his mouth, but the question had been on his mind since Shouta had first confronted him about his now ex. Sure, he hadn't been the most open and his friend had been lost in his own relationship, but had six weeks really gone by before either man had thought to say something to him? For him, not a day had gone by where he didn't think about the two of them.
They'd been bitter thoughts at the time, but Hizashi had known how he felt about each he'd wanted to be more than just a close friend to the both of them. He wanted to be with them, because during the handful of occasions that the three of them were together Hizashi had felt that everything was right in world. The three of them together was the future that he wanted, but he was tired of wishing for what was too good to be true.
"I'm sorry, Yagi."
"Just talk to me, Yamada," the man suggests, with watery blue eyes.
"I can't," he whispers and starts to pull his hand away. Toshinori stops him, grabbing his hand and pulls Hizashi flush against him. The voice hero hisses at the angle that his speaker is now digging into his neck as he looks up into the eyes of the taller man. "You're hurting me," he sobs.
"Why can't you talk to me anymore? You used to do it so easily."
"I know and I'm sorry that I can't anymore," he pauses to take a shaky breath, "but you're really hurting my neck, Yagi."
The taller man finally realizes that Hizashi meant physical pain and he immediately loosens his grip, allowing the voice hero to pull away from him. Again, he'd spoken without thinking. Once Shouta and he had begun dating, Hizashi need to create some distance with the other blond so that he could heal his heart. He knew that it would hurt the man and that he'd probably think that he'd somehow upset the voice hero, but Hizashi needed to do it.
He leaves Toshinori alone without another word and goes home to rid the place of any filth that his ex may have decided to keep there.
So I borrowed a bunch of these fictional kisses from this post and made it up into a prompt list. Feel free to reblog of course!
breaking the kiss to say something, staying so close that youāre murmuring into each otherās mouths
moving around while kissing, stumbling over things, pushing each other back against the wall/onto the bed
kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other personāsĀ
throwing their arms around the other person, holding them close while they kiss
hands on the other personās back, fingertips pressing under their top, drawing gentle circles against that small strip of bare skin that make them break the kiss with a gasp
lazy morning kisses before theyāve even opened their eyes, still mumbling half-incoherently, not wanting to wake up
routine kisses where the other person presents their cheek/forehead for the hello/goodbye kiss without even looking up from what theyāre doing
being unable to open their eyes for a few moments afterward
one small kiss, pulling away for an instant, then devouring each other
staring at the otherās lips, trying not to kiss them, before giving in
when one stops the kiss to whisper āIām sorry, are you sure you-ā and they answer by kissing them more
a hoarse whisper ākiss meā
following the kiss with a series of kisses down the neck
starting with a kiss meant to be gentle, ending up in passion
a gentle āi love youā whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss
when one personās face is scrunched up, and the other one kisses their lips/nose/forehead
height difference kisses where one person has to bend do wn and the other is on their tippy toes
kisses where one person is sitting in the otherās lap
kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing
top of head kisses
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