second best || choi jiung
pairings: one sided love!reader x jiung
warnings: angst no comfort
wc: 1.3k
mimi’s note: i wrote this at 3am when i started crying so please excuse me if it’s kinda shitty and also i didn’t proof read so sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense (｡ᵕ ◞ _◟)
people always said you and Jiung were inseparable. at first, you thought it was a joke. people say things like that all the time. but the longer it went on, the more you realized it was true. you were there for everything: morning classes, study sessions, late-night calls when one of you couldn’t sleep, even the random trips to the convenience store at midnight just because one of you had a craving. you never minded it in fact you actually liked it.
Jiung had always been kind, funny, and endlessly loyal. he trusted you with everything. you knew his secrets, his fears, the way he laughed when he was trying to hide a smile. he leaned on you when he was happy, stressed or bored. and somewhere along the way, something inside you changed. what you felt for him was no longer platonic. you tried to ignore it. you told yourself that the closeness didn’t mean anything romantic. but the truth was undeniable. you loved him and he would never notice.
it started subtly, small pangs that you chalked up to exaggeration. every time Jiung laughed at someone else’s joke before yours, a sting would hit your chest. when he talked to other girls in a way he never talked to you, you felt an ache you couldn’t explain. but you smiled anyway. you’ve always been good at smiling when it hurts.
then Lacy came into the picture.
Lacy was the kind of person who made everyone feel warm and light. effortlessly beautiful, easy to talk to, kind without trying, and radiant in a way that made people gravitate toward her. Jiung noticed her immediately. you noticed it immediately too.
the first time he mentioned her, your chest tightened.
“she’s… really something,” Jiung had said, voice soft, eyes distant. you tried to nod casually, but your stomach dropped. you tried to tell yourself it was fine. she’s just someone new. he’s your friend. he’s allowed to like people. you smiled. “yeah, she seems nice,” you said.
weeks passed. you became the silent observer to their budding friendship, pretending not to notice the way his whole body lit up when he talked about her, the way he smiled at his phone after receiving a text from her, the way he hesitated when saying her name out loud. you were there for everything. helping him figure out what to say, what to do, whether she liked him back, even helping him rehearse lines that made your own heart ache. you were always there. and he never once thought to consider that you might feel anything more than friendship for him.
it all came to a head one night when Jiung burst into your bedroom, practically vibrating with nervous energy.
“she said yes,” he exclaimed, grinning so wide it was almost painful to look at him.
you smiled, the practiced, polite kind. “that’s amazing,” you said. your voice sounded calm, even though your chest felt like it was splitting in two.
“i couldn’t have done it without you,” he said, pulling you into a hug that felt impossibly warm, impossibly wrong. you returned it automatically, like you always did, letting him hold onto you for just a few moments before he pulled back.
you swallowed the lump in your throat. he couldn’t know. he would never know. because he didn’t feel it. he didn’t feel what it meant for you to be here, standing beside him while he gave everything else to someone else.
the next few weeks were agony disguised as normal daily life. Jiung was constantly texting, calling, talking about Lacy, and every word was a reminder. and you helped. always helped. you advised him on what to say, helped him plan little gestures, pretended not to notice the way your chest aches when he laughed about how Lacy smiled at him. you listened while he described her favorite colors, her quirks, the things she said that made him smile. and every time, you smiled. because you were the person he trusted. you were the one he leaned on.
but you were not the one he loved.
sometimes, late at night, you would lie in bed and replay the moments in your head. that small smile he gave when she said something funny, the way he held her hand in public for the first time, the text he sent her that he had drafted with your help. you remembered every laugh, every detail, every moment he didn’t even think to notice you. and somehow, it hurt more than if he had simply ignored you. because he wasn’t ignoring you. he was just… not choosing you.
one evening, you both sat on a park bench, sipping soda from the same bottle, pretending to be casual while the city lights blurred behind you.
“you know you’re my favorite person, right?” Jiung said suddenly, his voice soft, eyes on yours.
you laughed quietly. “does Lacy know that?”
Jiung frowned, confusion mixing with sincerity. “it’s different. you’re my person.”
your person.
the words should feel comforting. but they didn’t. not really. because being your person wasn’t the same as being the person he loved.
as time went on, Jiung and Lacy grew closer. they started spending more time together outside of school, outside of your presence. and you were still there, silently, smiling, nodding, helping where you could. every time you saw them together, your chest clenched, your stomach sank, but you helped anyway. because you had loved him too long to let anything break the bond, even if it meant silently breaking your own heart.
and yet, Jiung never stopped leaning on you.
late-night calls, venting sessions, sharing the small frustrations of life, asking for advice… you were always there. the safe option. the constant. the one who never left.
even when they became more publicly a couple, your place beside him never wavered. that was supposed to comfort you, wasn’t it? that he still needed you, still wanted you around? But all it did was remind you that you would always be second. not Lacy-second. not a brief replacement. but second in a way that you could never step out of.
you stopped pretending at some point. not openly, not in front of Jiung. you still helped him. you still smiled at his excitement. but inside, you gave yourself permission to feel the hurt, to name it, to let yourself cry at night, to imagine a life where you were first.
years later, you find yourself standing in a crowded room, watching Jiung laugh across the floor. Lacy was beside him, leaning into him in a way that made your chest tighten unbearably. he was happy. radiantly happy. and it wasn’t with you.
he noticed you immediately, of course. Jiung always noticed. he waved, and you waved back. smiled. like always. like nothing had changed. but everything had.
because by the time you realized it, it was too late.
everything he wanted to give, all the love he could give, all the focus and attention he once reserved for you—it had already been given to her. and you had spent years loving him quietly, standing beside him, helping him love someone else, silently hurting while wearing a smile.
and the worst part? he didn’t even know. he never knew.
you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of it settle in your chest. you were still standing there, still the one he trusted, still the one he called when things went wrong. but never the one he chose.
then, quietly, you whispered to yourself, barely audible even over the chatter of the room. “you said I was your favorite person. I just wish I’d been the one you loved.”
you turned away, letting your footsteps carry you out of the room, carrying the weight of years, carrying the ache of a love that would never be returned.
and for the first time in a long while, there was a strange clarity in your chest. you had loved him. fully. deeply. completely.
and now you would have to learn to live with it.
