@mixaoc - Tumblr Blog

THE REALM BEYOND REALMS

WHERE THE GODS ARE NOTHING

AND NOTHINGS ARE GODS

"i keep forgetting" but isn't remembering worse? I swear i can name at least ten things i would feel better without. "Cut an eye from who mentions it and both from who forgets" YESSS!!! YES PLEASE! BLIND ME! I cannot deal with this knowledge anymore, it pains me! It burns and the firescars won't heal! But no. Death denied my prayers. I am alone with my suffer. Heh. Well. It seems it's just me. Just me. Just me and just a burning memor-

burning memory (the song) walks in

laugh track

#fun #stuff i say #writing prompt #comedy #joke #tag #anecdote #setup #punchline #long setup #writing #i couldn't remember how fo you call scars that are left by fire #uhh what else

weepingchoir

They should make Disco Elysium parody posts for people who are always trying not to fly into homicidal rages instead of suicidal spirals

weepingchoir

The bouncer squints at you. You make out the tail end of what he says over the din of the PA.

BOUNCER: “…ID?”

FANTASY-PRONE: Tch... doesn't he know who you are...?

NAIAD - Omg, he thinks you’re young~

STEALTH [Formidable: Failure] - He thinks you’re a young *boy*. You used to get this one all the time, remember?

LAS CUCARACHAS - It’s a heavy metal concert, ma’am. We are operating under conditions of absolute androgyny.

Demand to be let in.

Take offense.

SWEET SCIENCE [Medium] - Elbow him in the jaw.

Produce a ten year old picture of you.

DAMAGED MORALE -1

STEALTH [Trivial: Success] - You’re made.

WHITE-PASSING [Trivial: Success] - You’re made.

SPACETIME CONTINUUM - Election year in Florida. Humidity 81%. Hitler particles 87%.

SWEAT - Nine hundred kilometers gulfward, the eye of the sea gazes north. The hurricane will brush your house, knocking out the lights for two days, and go on to devastate the Atlantic coast. Two weeks later, it will happen again.

LAS CUCARACHAS - Behind you, people in line shift their weight boredly.

Wait.

GUERRERA URSAL [Challenging] - ¿Y por qué se tarda el gringo este?

GUERRERA URSAL [Challenging: Success] - No sabe dónde buscar tu fecha de nacimiento en la IFE.

SPACETIME CONTINUUM - IFE has been renamed to INE for ten years. The bouncer is holding one of the first products of a decade-old electoral restructuring.

NAIAD [Godly: Failure] - nooooooooooooooo

DAMAGED MORALE -1

There’s only one way out of this.

SWEET SCIENCE [Medium: Success] - Elbow him in the jaw.

DEATH METAL [Trivial: Success] - Pocket knife.

FANTASY-PRONE [Formidable: Success] - Thousand Sorrows Style: Karma-Sealing Great Lotus Naraka Strike!!

Make a scene.

LUMINOUS MIND [Challenging] - Don't.

LUMINOUS MIND [Challenging: Success] - You helpfully point out your date of birth, in small print on the upper right corner.

NAIAD - nooooooooooooooo

BOUNCER: Thank you, sir.

GUERRERA URSAL [Easy] - *TENK YU* TU PUTA MADRE PINCHE GRINGO PUÑETERO

SWEET SCIENCE [Medium] - Elbow him in the jaw.

"alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... time to stomach some goods"

"Excuse me?"

"what"

"What was that?"

"what was what"

"That."

"what that?"

"That. The thing you said."

"what i said"

"Yea. The thing you said. What was that?"

"what you mean"

"Excuse me??? What I mean?"

"hey dude calm down"

"Ok. Ok. Alright. I am calm. Now answer.

What. Are. Goods."

"goods?"

"Yes. Goods. What did you imply by saying «goods»?"

"uhh... isn't it self-descriptive?"

"No. It is not. Self. Discriptive. That's why I asked you. And now I am going to ask again. What is the meaning behind the word "goods". And while we are here - what is the meaning behind the word "stomach"? Because I do wonder about you using the word «stomach» as if it was a verb, I truly do."

"food"

"Food?"

"ye, food"

"Really?"

"reely"

"Really-really? You substituted the word «food» for the word «stomach»?"

"erm no?"

"No?"

"no"

"Really?"

"yea i subsuttuted goods and foods and not the... whatewer you said"

"Substituted."

"wha"

"You incorrectly said- Whatever. Ignore that. I have more important question." *inhale* *exhale* "You said «stomach». What meaning did you actually put in this word?"

"eat"

"It?"

"nooooou, eat. the E-A-T. the thing u do then u about to stomach"

"Really?"

"reely"

"Reeeeally?"

"ye"

*inhale* *exhale* "So let me get this straight: you meant «I am going to eat the food» but decided to code «eat» as «stomach» and «food» as «goods». Is this correct?"

"ye"

*loud inhale* *loud exhale* "Why."

"y wat"

"Why have you coded the word «eat» as «stomach» and the word «food» as «goods»?"

"4 funzies"

"YOU UGLY FUCK YOU UGLY STUPID MORON WHY HAVE YOU FUCKER HAD THE NEED TO CONFUSE ME SO MUCH AND SPEND SECONDS OF MY TIME UNSCRAMBLING WHATEVER NONSENCE YOU DECIDED FUNNY YOU PRICK YOU DUMB FUCK YOU BITCHY BIMBO UGLY FUCKER PSEUDO-COMEDIAN WITH A SINGULAR JOKE THAT STOPPED BEING FUNNY EONS BEFORE THE CONCEPT OF JOKES EVEN BEGAN TO EXIST YOU SHIT-EATING SHISNO YOU GLEP 'N WEIẞ YOU SLUG BEYONG SLUGS YOU HYPOJOAR AND UNTERMENCH IN ONE FACE YOU TICK AND FREAK AND SON OF A SON OF AN AMOEBA"

"oh so when you do it its fnuuy. its groovy. its non-glooby even. its «Oh you didn't get it? Ha, that was a simple pun... But alas, it seems like such knowledges are too sacred for your kind, m? Hm-hm!» but when i. oh the horrors. oh the beauty of the stars. it is all a nothing before your minimum rage on me. a rage for a simpular joke. a humble subverteishun of expecteishun. grach. youve achieved it. well done. but. since it came to this. let this be settled. as long as you dont play with the language. so do i. fershtein?"

"You've barrel-ly maid ennie sans"

*looks at self, sees nothing unusual*

"Gotcha."

"GETOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTT"

Viewer, looking at my artwork: "This small cake looks not as fancy as others but it tastes nice nevertheless"

Me: "Oh, so you've tasted my forever weed cake"

Viewer: "YOUR. WHAT."

(face of the viewer is full of disbelief)

mixaoc

Fish n chips, but chips as in chocolate chip cookies

mixaoc

Fish n chips, but chips as in poker chips and fish as in balatro mult

Human with small boobs: "Hey, god of evolution? Can i have big boobs?"

God of evolution: "I am terribly sorry, but you seem to mistake me for the god of dna diversion. That's who is in charge here"

(some time passes)

Human with small boobs: "Hey... God of dna diversion..?"

God of dna diversion: *typewriter sounds*

Human with small boobs: "Can I... Have a..."

God of dna diversion: *primate sounds*

Human with small boobs: "Can you give me bi-"

God of dna diversion(in a deep office lady voice): "Yes, I am already onto that. Come back in [insert unrealisticly big number here] hours, that should be by then. And please hold your complaints with yourself, especially about becoming a crab or a dolphin"

Human with small boobs: "But you didn't even heard my req-...!"

God of dna diversion(sloppily putting finger to the mouth of human)"Shhhh... I said. No complaints." *monkey fart noise*

(much more time passes)

Plastic surgeon's accountant: "And... That would be 8 kromer"

Human with big boobs but without the ability to talk to gods frivolously: "Ok let me ju- HEY!!"