You say...you mean...

We seem to have lost the art of telling the truth. Or maybe we never had it. What would happen if we all were honest all of the time? var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-42594969-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

[mjgraysays-blog]

I love you.

It's your turn to do the dishes.

[mjgraysays-blog]

Would you like some bottled water?

Fresh from the tap?

[mjgraysays-blog]

You look great!

You do look great. I think I look a little better though. 

[mjgraysays-blog]

I don't know what you're talking about.

I know exactly what you're talking about but there's no way I'm admitting it was me. 

[mjgraysays-blog]

You totally nailed that presentation!

I made my grocery list, my to-do list, my Christmas list, and my bucket list during your presentation. Also, I don't like using the word "nailed."

[mjgraysays-blog]

I don't feel guilty about being a working parent. My work is very fulfilling.

I don't feel guilty about being a working parent. I do feel a little guilty about the amount of time I spend on Facebook at work, posting fake status updates about my weekend. 

[mjgraysays-blog]

I'll have the large garden salad, dressing on the side and no croutons.

Because I have a half of a SaraLee cheesecake waiting for me at home. 

[mjgraysays-blog]

Watching my wife give birth was such an amazing, empowering experience.

It was kinda cool when the placenta came out. 

[mjgraysays-blog]

I really believe intimacy increases over time in a marriage. Our marriage is hotter than ever.

If we have sex, I'd only have to wash the sheets and I'm so frigging tired of laundry. 

[mjgraysays-blog]

Every Saturday morning, we all cuddle together then make blueberry pancakes with syrup from the farmers' market.

The Lucky Charms are on top of the fridge. Now let mommy go back to sleep. 

[mjgraysays-blog]

I feed my children only organic, unprocessed food.

Don't pour that milk out, it cost $6 a gallon. Put the glass back in the fridge and put it on your cereal tomorrow.

[mjgraysays-blog]

I feel so blessed.

Shitty things keep happening to me. My life is like an overflowing toilet.