to hell and back

"Sometimes the way a thing goes down does matter, Shepard. Later, when you have to live with yourself. Knowing that you acted with integrity — then it matters.” (Independent ME RP blog for Kaidan Alenko. ME3 and Post-ME3. Please read rules before interacting. Face Claim: Sam Milby)

[juliannablake]

↳Make me Choose: doctastrange asked: Kaidan or Garrus?

[willreignite]

“Kaidan, no! Stop!” Her laughter was stifled, soundless. If she wanted, she could get rid of him quickly but she could easily hurt him in the process so she kept struggling, trying to grab his wrists.

[mjralenko]

He stopped tickling by pulling her closer and covering her mouth for a far slower far more sensuous kiss. 

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

“Don’t make tickle you, Shepard,” he said, crinkling his nose. 

“…and now you’re threatening me! With tickling! How vile!”

[mjralenko]

He brought his face down to her neck and began rubbing his scruff on her.

[willreignite]

“Oh my god, Kaidan!” She tried to wiggle away from him but he had a gravitational advantage.

[mjralenko]

Now his fingers sought out her ribs to see if he could find ticklish spots. 

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

“Don’t make tickle you, Shepard,” he said, crinkling his nose. 

“…and now you’re threatening me! With tickling! How vile!”

[mjralenko]

He brought his face down to her neck and began rubbing his scruff on her.

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

He lifted himself up on one elbow and stroked her hair with the other.  “God,” he said after a few minutes.  “You’re so damn beautiful,” he smiled a little.

“You’re not bad yourself,” she tried to smile but it wasn’t as lively as usual. Sooner or later she would get better but she needed time. And distraction. “But calling me god is definitely something new.” A failed attempt to joke.

[mjralenko]

“Don’t make tickle you, Shepard,” he said, crinkling his nose. 

[mjralenko]

willreignite:

Somehow the tension between them changed to the more sexual one and this wasn’t something she planned. At the same time she wasn’t opposed to the idea and figured that it might help with clearing her mind from the bad thoughts. Especially when it was with him. With him everything seemed to be okay.

“Yes,” she whispered back and kissed his nose.

He lifted himself up on one elbow and stroked her hair with the other.  “God,” he said after a few minutes.  “You’re so damn beautiful,” he smiled a little.

[shepardsloyalty-blog]

“i want to make you this happy for the rest of your life.”

Eamon rolled his head on the pillow to look at him. “You’re aiming too low,” he murmured.

[mjralenko]

He crinkled his nose. “I’d say the rest of eternity, but you’d probably just come back with some kind of smart-ass remark.”

[shepardsloyalty-blog]

“Not the part I was referring to.”

[mjralenko]

He tilted his head.  “Well, I’ll try to make you happier than,” he said dryly. 

[mjralenko]

justgivemeabloodydrink:

“But see, I thought the fucking was going to happen after at least one date,” Edmund teased. But still: he helped Kaidan out of belt and BDUs with the ease of much practice, giving the older biotic a soft kiss when he was done. “I have a spare set of sweats if you want. I’m going to get changed if I’m going to be your bed partner instead of doing reports.”

“I’m not that easy! Might take two,” he chuckled weakly then reached out for him. “I just... need to feel you, Edmund. As much of you as I can since I can’t exactly see you.  I’m scared to death. “

[mjralenko]

justgivemeabloodydrink:

Quietly, the commander stroked Kaidan’s hair. It wasn’t hard to tell Kaidan was miserable. Shepard just…didn’t know how to fix it. He was good at being cheesy, at joking (okay but not necessarily successfully), at terrible puns and even worse pick-up lines. He could show he cared, but the words usually just…didn’t want to come out directly.

Maybe it wasn’t enough. Maybe Kaidan was actually in love with the ideal of Edmund, the man who pulled people together by force mixed in with a dash of diplomacy, who had a powerful personality.

He nudged a pillow under Kaidan’s head and pulled the duvet over him with a soft kiss to the major’s brow, his cheek, his nose. “Get some sleep,” he encouraged gruffly.

The softness, the small signs he cared went a long way to breaking him; not in the bad way but in the ‘too stubborn for his own good’ way. He swallowed hard, and sat up again. pulling off his BDU top.  “Not without you under here with me,” he said, soft desperation in his voice.  He fumbled at his belt and growled.  “And, for fuck sake, will you get me out of my goddamn pants?  I can barely work this belt when I can see the fucking thing,” he gave a puppy dog look in the direction he thought Edmund was facing. 

[mjralenko]

justgivemeabloodydrink:

Edmund stroked Kaidan’s cheek and bit back a sigh. They were both so damned stubborn. So damned stubborn, and damaged in their own ways. He bit back the argument that he couldn’t approach Kaidan back on the old Normandy, not as Kaidan’s CO. Now, they could just pull Spectre rank if anyone tried to throw the regs at them. And hell: Edmund was CO but Kaidan outranked him. It kind of balanced out now.

They didn’t need more arguments.

“Truce? I’ll take you to my tiny apartment and cook you the best dinner you’ve ever had?”

“Yeah,” he said in a tired voice. His arm moved from over his eyes to above his head, the world still dark all around him. Funnily enough, knowing Edmund loved him was just as bad as thinking he didn’t in various ways.  Kaidan was too tired, too weak to argue anymore. So he just gave in or gave up, whatever it amounted to. 

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

Okay, not how he imagined spending his night, he had to admit. He made a soft sound in his throat, and cupped the back of her head with one hand, the other tight around the middle of her back.  He kissed her back fervently..  

If there was something he didn’t like, he’d always back away. She just wanted his warmth and was searching for it in any way she could but even now she was far from wanting to overstep boundaries.

[mjralenko]

He made another sound, deep in his throat.  He rolled them over so that she was underneath his body, his thigh pressing between her legs to and lifting on his elbows a bit so he didn’t crush her.  He looked down at her face.  “This okay?” he whispered huskily. 

[shepardsloyalty-blog]

“i want to make you this happy for the rest of your life.”

Eamon rolled his head on the pillow to look at him. “You’re aiming too low,” he murmured.

[mjralenko]

He crinkled his nose. “I’d say the rest of eternity, but you’d probably just come back with some kind of smart-ass remark.”

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

“Always be here for you,” he forced out of nearly closed throat, kissing the top of her head, his heart pounding in his chest. 

She knew it might be the lie since the Reapers were now so close in defeating them. But she purposefully pushed that thought away and initiated the next kiss, slightly too haste and too desperate than she intended.

[mjralenko]

Okay, not how he imagined spending his night, he had to admit. He made a soft sound in his throat, and cupped the back of her head with one hand, the other tight around the middle of her back.  He kissed her back fervently..  

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

He picked her up bridal style and carried her over to her bed, and getting into the bed without letting her go as much as possible, so he could pull her against his body.

When she found herself in bed, she immediately cuddled against him wanting exactly the same thing. “I need you, Kaidan,” she whispered.

[mjralenko]

“Always be here for you,” he forced out of nearly closed throat, kissing the top of her head, his heart pounding in his chest. 

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

“Let go. Let me be strong for you,” his arms were tighter around her. 

Again she hid her face in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes squeezing them shut. He didn’t push her away and that meant everything to her.

[mjralenko]

He picked her up bridal style and carried her over to her bed, and getting into the bed without letting her go as much as possible, so he could pull her against his body.

[willreignite]

mjralenko:

He held her tight and kissed her forehead, eyes closed. “Love you, too. Always have, Jane. Don’t need you to be strong for me. Just need  you to be here.” 

“Would it… would it be okay for me to just let it go? For a short moment?” Her voice was almost pleading.

[mjralenko]

“Let go. Let me be strong for you,” his arms were tighter around her. 

[mjralenko]

willreignite:

She let him.

Of course she did. After all that time that was exactly what she wanted. But it that moment the sweetness of the kiss mixed with the whole bitterness and pain, making her feel even more exposed and vulnerable, making her fall apart again.

He held her tight and kissed her forehead, eyes closed. “Love you, too. Always have, Jane. Don’t need you to be strong for me. Just need  you to be here.”