Tamk!

they/it | adult | ansi standard dumbfuck | homestuck | a landship of the first world war

[mk4landship]

mmm i should make a pinned post. also i shouldn't do that at whatever fuckin time it is, but whatever, it's not like i've ever been a dumbass at o dark thirty before

so basically i'm some weirdo dipshit that's kinda smart and kinda stupid. mostly stupid. also i'm kbity :3. but i repeat myself.

oh yeah also you can call me cataria. that's not my actual name but it is a name i like so it's cool :3.

i like machines and boats and math and biting people and rambling incoherently and also homestuck a lot. admittedly most of those don't come up super often but that's neither here nor there. the homestuck one is gonna come up a lot tho. really like homestuck.

ok that's it for now i guess

[3000s]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[3000s]

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

[inzergue]

why did they make this game so difficult

[inzergue]

unfortunately they've now had two

[onirsrakugaki]

[sailatina3]

Loss.

[romanceyourdemons]

lmao i’m reading this essay from the 1580s that mentions how if you were wearing a big elizabethan ruff and you got caught in the rain it would flip up in the wind and hit you in the face, and then you’d have to spend the rest of the day with your stupid soggy ruff all flaccid on your shoulders. can you imagine. whole new potentials for pathetic unlocked

[soup-mother]

grizzled mercenaries are always being like "I'm sick and tired of being a pawn in someone elses game" like their job isn't literally rent-a-pawn

[soup-mother]

"I hate being a pawn in someone elses game" yeah sure thing grandpa, I'll give you $50 if you move to D4

[centrally-unplanned]

That is just the mercenary equivalent of feeling "if I have to send one more email I am going to explode" while doing the email job you knowingly consented to doing and probably worked hard to get; it is probably the most relatable thing they could portray!

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

Legendary Ford and Chrysler CEO Lee Iacocca, the man responsible for the Ford Mustang, Pinto, Chrysler K-Car, and the entire concept of the minivan, used twitter for 34 minutes on April 30, 2009 and decided it was too much for him.

[official-doctor-robotnik]

Fixing a sickening Sonic meme.

^ See how insensitive this hog is? Disgusting. Don't worry, period havers. The Eggman Empire has got your back.

There we go. Much better!

[studentofetherium]

[lyril]

[cornedbeefhashtags]

[battletoads]

[anneriawings]

OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?

I JUST

GUAM?

[phantomrose96]

IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM

KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST

“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID

[anneriawings]

12/27, 8:37PM CT

ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM

[anneriawings]

12/28, 12:18PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***

[anneriawings]

12/28, 10:22PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY

GO COOKIES GO

@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper​ @homebeccer GET READY

[anneriawings]

lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and

[anneriawings]

12/30, 12:39AM CT

@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper

holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE

[phantomrose96]

The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season

[anneriawings]

THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP

[anneriawings]

COOKIES ACQUIRED

[homebeccer]

THE THRILLING CONCLUSION

also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey

[anneriawings]

how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes

[anneriawings]

SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????

AND 

IT’S

IT’S

IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-

I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED 

[phantomrose96]

Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks

Its not even an in-game feature

[crowreys-wormstache]

Oh my god it’s back

[anneriawings]

H O W

[anavar-immela]

I’ve had this sort of thing happen.

At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.

[phantomrose96]

I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”

No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.

I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration. 

[sharkgal4]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[offonaherosjourney]

Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP

[korasonata]

Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.

You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.

[imsobadatnicknames2]

9 out of 10 times I see people on here celebrating a new "landmark piece of anti-AI legislation" the legislation in question is inevitably some variation of "we propose making IP laws more restrictive but presented through the language of opposing AI". But that one from germany about holding google liable for the words of its AI overview feature is legitimately good I think. If they actively choose to shove that thing in everyone's face as the first thing they're going to see when they make a google search then they shouldn't be able to dodge accountability for the information it provides with a little "gemini AI can be inaccurate, please remember to double-check information teeheehee" disclaimer.

[melled42]

this is how i picture the fortnite version of pomni

[mexifurfoof]

"to help keep everyone safe we're not displaying any content here"

LITERALLY FUCKING WHO IS WATCHING ME SEARCH, HOW DOES A SEARCH FUNCTION PUT PEOPLE IN DANGER

[punkrock-bottom]

It’s important to occasionally be a horny pervert on main so your mutuals know it’s okay to be a horny pervert with you

[screenshotsofdespair]