I love kissing. If I could kiss all day, I would. I can’t stop thinking about kissing. I like kissing more than sex because there’s no end to it. You can kiss forever. You can kiss yourself into oblivion. You can kiss all over the body. You can kiss yourself to sleep. And when you wake up, you can’t stop thinking about kissing. Dammit, I can’t get anything done because I’m so busy thinking about kissing. Kissing is madness! But it’s absolute paradise, if you can find a good kisser.
I’ve spent the past two years feeling like I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I’ve been scared, and I haven’t been giving myself the courage to follow my heart. I had a plan. Graduate early, save some money, go to school, get a job and get my life started. But then I hated my job, then I hurt my ankle, then I hated school, then the job I loved wasn’t good enough. I kept making excuses for why I was so off track of where ‘I was supposed to be’ and I was letting it make me miserable.
When really I just wasn’t giving myself the courage I needed to follow my heart. I was mad things weren’t going my way, and it was because of my own actions and choices.
So much has happened to me in the past year alone, I went to school, made friends. Lost friends. I fell in love, and I broke a heart. I got mine broken too. I finally turned legal, maybe got a bit too drunk once or twice. I built a stronger relationship with multiple family members. I got promoted to a management position at a job that I love. I’ve got things to look forward to - applying to college and finally meeting a very special friend face to face. I have made and am continuing to make memories that I will never forget.
Now I am 19. And I am finally at a place in life again where the possibilities excite me. I have so many beautiful people in my life. When I think about the friends I have I get so overwhelmed I can’t breathe, I want to tell each person in my life how much they mean to me. I have so many plans. I’m excited to go to work tomorrow and start my new position. I am so excited to see the world, starting with Scotland in November. I’m excited to take some courses and learn about what’s out there and learn more about myself and the world. I can do whatever I want without being tied down.
Maybe I’ll move to India or volunteer for Peace Corp or maybe I’ll stay here and become a successful business woman. All I know is that as long as I am happy, whatever choices I make are okay, even if they weren’t in the blueprint originally. And no matter what I will have a family who loves me, supportive friends, and I will always, always have the mountains watching over me.
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