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uncle?

젠장 잠이 안 와.

you know, it been awhile i havent type in here with a long paragraph so why not?

you know, i tried to install a dating app just to serach someone who i can talk to but not being affectionate.. i miss you but i couldnt really say it in front of you since you are not around or not even wanting to be around.. hey, what is our status really? with your alters with my alters or even someone else alters.. maybe we should end it? or we keep it? with this kind of condition, are we sure we will manage? back then i was so sure we will manage because i wasnt insane but now, i kind of had enough and already went insane or even almost numb, i did let go of my soul thought so, this is what i am now, im not that talktive anymore, not that cheerful anymore, not as happy as how marc used to, not as affectionate, not as loud, im just the marc that doesnt want to do anything but stare at a wall and do nothing.

im sorry for turning out this way because of myself, maybe you will never see my point or perspective and thats okay, i dont want you to, im sorry that you are losing your lover.. they are gone

maybe this is something really fucked up and shameful to tell but

i hate the fact i found comfort in chaos. as if it makes you high because of the adrenaline. its scary to think i could fall asleep in the middle of chaos. im aware how creepy and disgusting of how i found very cold but it warped me in this comfortable blanket in chaos.

hanya namamu doaku

lonely haha

a beast

farewell. -L

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vent + doodle place