BUDDING PARALLELS
mmjina:
similar but not quite the same, virtually so; but frankly, not enough. see also: jina and @mmyuanlan before the peace treaty, the glo-up, and insert the manic one on one competition between the two smartest girls in their cohort. CIRCA 2017
𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍, you want to be better than the rest.
you read books until they’re practically imprinted in your mind. you close your eyes and your mind still runs a mile a minute, keep up, keep up – they taunt you. you’re to be the best, not ahead of the curve, you are the curve. self-awareness is second to self-egos; pampered and bruised. tossed to wolves and torn apart all for the sake of an outstanding academic reputation. the next day, it will begin again.
it’s a repetitive cycle, the slate is never clean, it’s darkened with blood and sweat and tears jina never cries because her eyes are bloodshot and her smile is strained. but she raises her hand high, shoulder brush, maybe a little too passive-aggressively against another’s. she doesn’t spare the slightest glance backwards as her name is spoken like a spell, like it’s obvious that she would be the first to come up with the answer.
like it’s expected, because she was kwak jina.
this was her reputation. untainted by her mother’s crimes, unhindered by the legacies her sisters unravel: no – kwak jina is unlike her sisters before her. she is not serious, she is not fun personified; she’s not a breath of fresh air nor does she excel at escapism.
she’s haughty, possessive, temperamental and withers at the lack of attention. above all, she is an egoist. she wants to be the best, second in line had never been her frame of work nor would she bow down to someone like – she blinks, smile ripe against bright teeth – someone like yuanluan. the name rolls off her tongue as she stares at the list of students, written off by examination scores and paired like cattle for their latest DADA practicum. unlike last time, perhaps the advantage had been lost.
because right next to yuanluan’s was her own – she bites back a groan, heavily feeling her eyes roll to the back of her head as she turns to stare the other down, arms crossed before she makes up her mind and makes the first move. “it appears,” she breathes through her nose, trying to calm the flares of annoyance already prickling at the back of her neck. “the professor thought it was wise to pair us up for today’s practicum.” her tone is flat, a declaration of if you fuck this up – i’ll fuck you up whispered between unwritten lines.
if there is anything yuanlan absolutely cannot stand, it’s being lesser than. being looked down upon. the one way to make her do anything, is to tell her that you think she can’t do it. she wears her identity as a girl from a small village proudly; perhaps like one would wear luxury brands, or gold medals. she’s here to prove she can do everything you say can’t, not to lower her head and admit inferiority.
when you’ve lived your whole life wishing for a chance to differentiate yourself from the rest, you don’t let go that easily when you’ve managed to get your fingers on that chance.
like many around her, yuanlan has developed defense mechanisms that consist of a sharp tongue and a backbone made of steel. her pride keeps her from moving even one step backward to compromise; you won’t catch her dead backing down from a challenge. yuanlan wasn’t raised to be a coward who picks flight, and the only other option left is fight. and she’s still got a lot of fight in her.
mind you, she has never been one to stereotype people based on their background or families. it’s not like yuanlan has much knowledge on all the different families and their images, since she didn’t grow up in the wizarding community. but when kwak jina struts in the class, the cheong ryoeng common room or basically everywhere like some privileged snob, there’s just something about her that makes yuanlan automatically go into competitive mode. if jina thinks her perfect and poised reputation means yuanlan would let herself be one-upped, then she’s in for a huge surprise. yuanlan’s got a temper not unlike the one jina has, and when her pride is on the line she wouldn’t hesitate to present the bomb wrapped in pretty pink ribbons in a glittery box.
after a glance at the pairing list, yuanlan is already dreading the inevitable interaction. usually she likes group work, but not this time. and to think that this practicum would be counted like any other quizzes or exams — ugh. she can’t half-ass this. she tilts her head upward ever so slightly at jina’s voice, her gaze landing on the other girl and her body leaning onto the nearest table. jina’s words ( laced with something similar to contempt and sounds a lot like a threat ) give yuanlan the desire to throw something. perhaps at someone. but she channels that energy into one single smile, all bite and no mirth. ‘i saw. maybe the professor thought that pairing students of... similar levels of ability would be beneficial.’ half hoping that the girl can pick up the hidden line: you’re not better than me. ‘it’s going to be a simulation of some sort, no? defeating virtual obstacles.’
a slight pause. yuanlan has to admit, she’s a tiny bit excited at the prospect of a test like this. ‘but i’m guessing it wouldn’t be much of a challenge for the great kwak jina, would it?’ she doesn’t see why jina is concerned about yuanlan’s performance. it affects her academic results too, and she doesn’t have a reason to not give her best.