the way she feels uncomfortable in her own skin, just a moment, out of context and order, it sends a chill down her spine. a need to look back across the room, to search for the eyes she knows wonât be looking at her. but they could be, right ? his words were so, so soft to hear, silk dusting over the skin of her cheek, thrumming inside of her chest more compelling than the music somehow ( it burns, rages within her ; a need to make him pay ) she looks away from yun ( not him ) her gaze pinpointing until it sticks across the room, a hateful glare ( him. ) steps enclose at her side and she flinches back ( itâs an inception closer than she feels ready for, for a person who doesnât make her heart beat ) scans yunâs features, she feels empty, but thereâs something reassuring about the way heâs so familiar, and the out he offers her on a silver platter. he had said so much that just blew right past her veil of awareness but suddenly his words are hitting like slanted rain that stings her skin, soaks her in investment. she angles her shoulders towards him, brows drag down and suddenly, he exists again. what yun can offer matters now. sheâs hearing him. she smirks ( itâs colder than usual, thereâs no warmth, no love in it ) âyou still remember that night?â itâs almost amusing ( nothing is really funny right now ) propping back against the table, hip to rounded edge, ( thereâs a spike of awareness that reminds her who she really wants is across the room and she nearly visibly fights herself to turn away ) her lip pulls in between her teeth, cages there at yunâs words ( â you donât want him to turn his eyes away, do you ?â ) she shakes her head hard, a strand of her hair sticks to her lipstick. she wishes daeil were the one across from her right now. ( thatâs a stupid thought and she almost doesnât mean it ) (( but something fights inside of her that she does, does she fucking ever )) itâs all the right words to say. her eyes twitch into a squint at him, yunâs features always so gracious in her heart, even when she had ignored him, bypassed him intentionally on the behalf of jina. she recalls yunâs smiles. heâs not smiling. his voice isnât so warm now⊠itâs fuel, thoughts of daeil, burning alive with every emotion he had never expressed for her before. thoughts that he would run over here to her. jungmiâs chest heaves, in-taking air hot and ragged with a need to make him pay.Â
she wants to make him fucking suffer. jungmi aches with the urge to make him regret ever leaving her ; she loved him so much, she loved him so good. yet⊠it wasnât enough.Â
a gulp, legs spread just enough where sheâs propped that when she lightly tugs their conjoined hands he can sink between them, wedge himself against her. her eyes blazing with a nebula of complex emotions. âi never want his eyes off of meâŠâ she tells him, belatedly and she didnât mean to say that. it just comes out. she tugs him harder, closer. âi want him to seeâŠâ her body feels hotâŠher heart hurts. everything is fuzzy, she pants gently. ( daeil doesnât even care about her, a part of her mind screams, fights, bitterly bleeds into her plans ) a louder part of her pouts, âcan you help noona with that?â she slips her hand out of his, moves her palms up his biceps, over to his shoulders.Â
      a part of yun wants to shake her and scream âof course! of course i remember! i cherish every single moment weâve had together!â but thatâs not right. a glimmering clarity in yunâs memory places him back in that night, back in his own shoes. the yun then was confused, hesitant. untrusting but willing to play along because he remembers jungmi from his youth. she was always kind to him, always the pretty noona. back then he allows her to play around with him and walks away from the moment curious and a little flustered. the yun in his mind and the yun now donât align. it feels like his eyes are crossing, painting an overlapping copies of an image when it should be one, solid form. but yun doesnât care. what does it matter if he didnât realized the importance of that reunion in the moment? he can see now how special it had been, what it has lead to. the memory is still there in sparkling clarity, because it laid the foundation for where they are now. how yun is just in her periphery, there only when her gaze latches on him. an unimportant decoration. something she can pull into her orbit and set adrift depending on her need. even now her pretty lip is tucked between her teeth, and thereâs so much passion burning in her eyes but its far, far away. she lets him hold her hand, listens to his words, but itâs jungmi who gets the final say. her intentions, her motivations. and yun wonât have it any other way. heâs happy to be a fleeting fancy, if only just once she turned those eyes on him. even if its the refraction of the emotions for him shining on yun, itâll be enough. and oh god! now her face meets his. thereâs a perfect strand of hair moulded to her mouth and he instantly reaches out to it. he frees it from her lipstick and returns it carefully behind her ear. yunâs fingers are so slow as he tucks it into place, a shiver running down his spine at the delicateness of the soft shell of her ear. his entire body feels like a live wire, and sheâs a conductor. he wants to pour everything into her.Â
      it happens in a moment. her legs part, yun is pulled forward, and suddenly theyâre too close too close too close! his hands shoot out to the table and his hands grip desperately at the wood. a loud gasp hitches from his lungs, and his eyes are blown wide. does she want this? is she agreeing? itâs too intense from this close and his brain is misfiring, unable to do anything but drink it all in. itâs her words that snap him out of it. hot jealousy curls in his gut. itâs all about him, him, him. yun is right in front of her, accepted into her embrace, with her gaze fixed on only him. but even then, sheâs not seeing yun. he wants to whine, kick up a fuss, tell jungmi âyes, we can make him jealous, but canât you at least say my name? canât you see me? wonât you tell me iâm good for you? because i love you, canât you see?â but he swallows it all, because this is about her, for her. he canât let his own selfish desires ruin it now.
      the final blow. can he help noona? thatâs all he wants. he could drop to his knees and kiss her feet and thank her for the opportunity to help her. he nods, so fast his head hurts. he melts under her touch, lets her hold him. âi can noona, i will,â he promises. she needs yun for this, itâs a job only yun can do. she knows that, sheâs told him, and it makes him glow with pride. yes this is for him, but she trusts yun for such an important task. itâs everything he could ask for. yun fits one hand at her waist (why does his hand feel like it was perfectly built for the shape?) and the other cradles her jaw. he tilts her face back and looks at her, at her lovely eyes and flushed face and panting lips. a hunger roars to life in his chest, all consuming and vicious. yun bends forward and presses his lips to hers. itâs all too heated and desperate and too much but it feels like heâs high, her thighs around his hips and her hands on him and her mouth so plump against his own. yun canât help the whimper that he lets out, his body leaning closer. perfect, this is perfect, how could he ever live another moment outside of this?