kim jinhee looks for an apartment not because she needs a home, but because she’s used to being alone.
what she plans to rent is not something to live in but more of a safe haven, a place to go when she needs some space and room to breathe. it will be a room of silence that consists only of her filling up the spaces, because that’s been her very means of survival up until recently. living with her grandfather, the vampire, is not as bad as it might have at first seemed - in fact, jei finds that it’s much more comfortable than any place she’s ever been, any place she’s ever lived. there is a warmth there but it doesn’t come from the touch of his skin when she hugs him; instead, it comes from the hearth of a family that actually means to care for her.
she finds it stifling though, and sometimes she needs a moment to catch her breath. she is a girl who carries a heavy mantle on her shoulders, and even just the slightest amount of added pressure can cause collapse under the weight. it is after living alone for so long that they learn even the sounds of another’s footsteps can bring the nightmare of a monster to jei’s door and they’ve both agreed it’s for the best to give her a place to turn to when she needs it.
so that’s how she ends up here with her arms crossed like a shield that will protect her against enemies. she isn’t used to conversing with people more than necessary, and it’s unfortunate that this moment is a necessary one. it’s a simple wish of hers to get all of this done and over with, but touring is a necessity that her grandfather insisted upon to make sure that the apartment was safe.
( inwardly, she wonders what safe means. )
time ticks on and with it comes a sense of unease. she pushes down the feeling but as time decides to drag its feet to the point of seconds seeming like lifetimes in the presence of someone else, jei feels like it brings with it an unwanted guest on its heels. inwardly, she knows it’s one that she doesn’t want to see so she hopes to speed all of this up, to sign the lease, to just be done. but instead, jei remains silent because she’s never been too talkative anyway. instead, she steadily ( vaguely ) listens to the rental agent spin their tale of how wonderful the lighting is, how clean the floor. all of these are features jei doesn’t quite care about.
as long as it’s quiet, as long as she’s alone, that’s all that matters much more. ( she’s afraid this is about to change in five, four, three, two - )
count one, and there it is. the agent excuses himself and jei heaves a sigh of frustration when he goes, hearing hushed whispers and a mumbled agreement that she isn’t even half curious to listen to. this is something that jei will soon come to regret, not speeding time on like it’s a race that she’s trying to win. ( kim jinhee is still and will always be a mess of would have, could have, should have - )
the agent comes over and mentions to her that another renter hopeful is coming to look at the apartment as well. jei doesn’t say anything to this, just keeps a blank expression on her face because none of this will matter in the end as long as she simply signs a piece of paper. that’s all that this will come down to.
( but it isn’t. it never is. ) the regret comes in the form of a familiar face that makes her heart sink well below where it should sit in her chest. because behold; this is lee jongsuk in all of his damned and rotting glory, come to reap the death she should have died once long ago.
her entire world falls to pieces before her feet.
it seems as if he recognizes her too and jei is telling herself to run, that she shouldn’t be here ( anywhere but here, this is the worst idea in all of the worst possible ways ). when he calls her nahee, she almost sees a way out of this because kim jinhee should have died a long time ago. using her sister like this would be considered a sin, but jei has committed plenty of them. her hands are stained red with the blood of it.
of course though, fate doesn’t look too kindly on a sinner. “ kim nahee?” her own agent asks out of confusion, like it’s the first time he’s heard of it. her excuses are wearing out, the moment is dying and all jei can do is watch as the years she’s spent reinventing herself to resurrect come crashing to burn around her, just because of the presence of one lee jongsuk. she should have known all of this was too good to be true.
“ but isn’t her name kim jinhee?”
and there it is. the moment of truth, the seven years of her missing life laid waste on the table by a single person who doesn’t understand the situation. she stares on at him silent, all gritted teeth and clenched fists as if waiting for god to strike her down. ( surely, she deserves all of this. ) instead of continuing to stare, she pulls her gaze away and looks at her agent - tries not to pay attention to the confusion, ends up tripping under the weight of her past. “ you’re right. i’m kim jinhee.” her name is said aloud for the first time in seven years before anyone she used to know. and so the time that once stopped for kim jinhee, now begins to turn forward once more.
