whyyyyy can’t people be normal about people with english as a second language whyyyyy do i always see people laughing at the way kpop idols say things in english (e.g. “he said shit instead of sit”) or infantilizing them (e.g. “his baby english is so cute”) fuck offffff fuck off fuck off fuck off. and fuck off.
Soobin: His eyes widen in shock you’ve never yelled at him that harshly, he looked he was ready to cry but just responds with a sad but understanding“Ok.” Before leaving the room knowing that you probably need some space right now, a few hours later he asks for clarification asking questions on why you acted that way. You say sorry and then have make up cuddles on the couch while watching a movie, but neither of you are paying attention to the screen at all.
Yeonjun: He gasps dramatically “You yelled at me, do you hate me baby?” he wipes away a fake tear dramatically, he keeps being dramatic for a few more minutes before suddenly kissing you all over your face “I could never be mad at you you know that, right love?”.
Beomgyu: He grins “Awwww is my sweetheart upset?” he teases holding your face in his hands you then pout and look away, his grin falters seeing that you were actually mad feeling guilty he pulls you into a abrupt but soft hug resting his chin on your head as he keeps your head against his chest holding you close, “I’m sorry for teasing you baby but you’re just too cute not to tease.” he tugs on a strand of your hair lightly before caressing the strand you scowl in response he lets out a soft chuckle and smirks “I’m just messing with you, cutie.”
Taehyun: He gasps before quickly schooling his expression back to being composed and calm, he didn’t say anything and just stands in front of you not sure what to do he decides it’s best to let you cool down so he walks out of the room. A few hours later you knock on the door to his room “Come in.” he responds you open the door feeling guilty facing the floor “Tyun, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.” you didn’t realize he was right in front of you. Then he tilts your chin to look at him gently “It’s okay honey I forgive you.” Taehyun kisses you on the lips softly barely there he pulls away a few seconds later looking at you with pure love in his eyes “I love you so much you know that, right?” you smile at him “I love you too Tae.”
Kai: His breath hitches slightly looking at you his eyes filled with hurt but also understanding knowing that you’re very annoyed and stressed right now “Baby?” he calls out to you. You look away stubbornly still mad, he sighs and then rests his head on your shoulder you gasp he smirks at your response knowing it was your weakness he nuzzles into your neck innocently. “Kai.” his eyes light up when you say his name he plants a kiss on your neck “Yes love?” “I’m sorry.” he looks up at you he looked so innocent and cute, “It’s okay baby you don’t have to be sorry, I’ll love you no matter what.” you two stay like that for a while longer just holding each other close as you both lose track of time but neither of you cared.
genre: FLUFFFF, established relationship, slice of life
word count: 712
sum. you discovered that Soobin secretly keeps small, seemingly meaningless items...
The first time you realized Soobin kept things, it was by accident.
You weren’t supposed to see it.
He’d left his notebook open on the desk while he went to grab something, and you, being you—leaned over out of boredom more than curiosity.
It wasn’t notes. It was… random.
A receipt. A dried leaf. A candy wrapper.
You frowned slightly, flipping the page.
A movie ticket stub.
Another page—there was a tiny pressed flower, carefully taped down. And then...
Your handwriting.
You froze.
It was just a scrap of paper. Torn, slightly crumpled, with a messy “don’t forget to eat!!!” written in your rushed handwriting, complete with three aggressively drawn exclamation marks.
You remembered writing it. You’d shoved it into his hand weeks ago when he skipped lunch again.
“…what are you doing?”
You nearly jumped.
Soobin was standing in the doorway, staring at you. Not angry—just… caught.
“I...uh—” You gestured helplessly at the notebook. “You collect trash?”
His ears turned red almost instantly. “It’s not trash.”
“It’s literally a candy wrapper.”
“It was from that place you like,” he muttered, walking over quickly and closing the notebook.
You blinked. “…you kept it because of that?”
He didn’t answer.
Which, honestly, was an answer.
You leaned against the desk, crossing your arms. “Okay, but the leaf?”
“…you said it looked like a heart.”
You tried—really tried—not to smile.
“And the receipt?”
“You were complaining about the price for ten minutes.”
“I still stand by that,” you said immediately. “It was overpriced.”
A pause.
Then, softer, you added, “So you kept it?”
He shrugged, avoiding your eyes. “I just… keep things.”
“Things,” you repeated slowly.
“Yeah.”
“That remind you of me?”
Silence.
He scratched the back of his neck, clearly debating whether to deny it or not.
“…maybe.”
That did it.
You laughed, not in a teasing way, but something warmer—something that made him glance at you, slightly confused.
“That’s kind of cute, Soobin.”
“It’s not supposed to be cute,” he mumbled.
“Too late.”
He looked like he wanted to argue, but didn’t. Instead, he sat down, pulling the notebook closer to him like you might steal it.
You leaned down slightly, peeking at the edge. “What else is in there?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
“It’s just random stuff.”
“Show me.”
“No.”
“Show me,” you insisted, nudging his arm.
He held firm for a second—then sighed, like he knew he wasn’t going to win anyway.
“Fine. But don’t laugh.”
“I won’t.”
You absolutely would.
He opened it slowly this time, flipping through the pages himself. There was more than you expected.
A bus ticket. A photo booth strip—your faces slightly blurry because you wouldn’t stop moving. A sticky note with a badly drawn star (yours again).
And then—
You pointed. “Wait, that’s from—”
“Yeah,” he said quietly.
It was from a day you barely remembered mentioning. Something small, insignificant to you.
But he had it.
Saved. Pressed between pages like it mattered.
“…you’re really serious about this, huh?” you said, softer now.
He didn’t look embarrassed anymore. Just honest.
“I forget things easily,” he admitted. “So I keep stuff instead.”
You tilted your head. “But these are all… me.”
“…yeah.”
There was no hesitation that time.
Something in your chest shifted.
Carefully, you reached out, touching the edge of the page where your messy note was taped down.
“You know,” you said, voice quieter than before, “you don’t have to keep pieces of paper to remember me.”
He looked at you then, really looked.
“I know,” he said.
A small pause. “…but I want to.”
That landed heavier than anything else he’d said. You didn’t tease him this time. Didn’t laugh. Instead, you tore a small piece from your own notebook, quickly scribbling something before placing it in front of him.
He blinked. “What’s this?”
“Add it to your collection,” you said.
Suspicious, he picked it up.
“you’re cute too (but don’t get used to it)”
His lips pressed together, like he was trying not to smile.
Failed.
“…this one’s staying,” he said.
“Obviously.”
He carefully tucked it into the notebook, smoothing it out like it was something fragile.
And for the first time, you noticed—
He wasn’t just keeping things. He was keeping moments. And somehow, without you realizing...
can you imagine gyu using his dialect while fucking? because his voice gets muchhhh deep that it already is
beomgyu knows exactly what his deep voice does to you, the way it melts straight between your thighs before his hands even touch you.
and when he gets close— his words start slipping into satoori, thick on his tongue because his brain can’t hold onto anything else anymore except you. never mind that you barely understand him; you can’t comprehend a single thing anyway with him buried so deep inside you.
all you know is the sound of his voice, low and rough in your ear, asking you something in that dialect, and you nod yes every single time. when you finally open your eyes, he’s already staring:
“do you know what you just agreed to?”
trans: hey, don’t zoom in!
i’m a sucker for his deep voice anonnie, i get you ufhhfhh i had to find the right video :p the satoori and eyebrow meal in this..
NSFW!!! this includes sexual topics, if your a minor or not comfortable with this topic, DONT READ!!
(an: hope you guys enjoy! i might make a taglist sooo if anyone is interested, just tell me in the comments. im also open to any ideas for stories/headcannons ygs have <33)
• soobin is definitely either a soft dom or sub honestly. if you want to take charge during this time, he wastes no time in leaning back and watching you use him as a toy
• he’s definitely top 10 pussy eaters on earth. he prefers giving oral more than receiving because he like to know that he’s the one making you feel good
• when eating you out, he knows all those spots like make you moan and whimper. he likes hearing your moans as he flicks his tongue over your clit, circling those bundle of nerves in a way that makes you go brain dumb
• soobin is also a big fingering fan. his fingers work like magic, curling and pumping at the right spot with a perfect pace. the combination of his finger and his tongue makes you just wanna explode
• as he eats you out, he mumbles a bunch of words like, “you taste so fucking good”, “your so wet, it’s perfect”, “this pussy is mine”
• sometimes with this combination, it just feels way to good to be true that it sometimes makes your squirt. but man, soobin love it. he smiles with pure happiness when you squirt and he quickly licks off the liquid off your aching cunt
• since he’s a god at eating you out, it doesn’t take long for you to cum. once you do, he licks it all off, savoring the taste as if its cake
• when he finishes, he already painfully erect, a small stain of his pre-cum on his pants already formed
• soobin is also pretty big and girthy. probably around 7 1/2 inches. he’s also pretty groomed down there because he doesn’t really want to have a full blown bush
• his favorite position is basic but he loves it to a crazy extent, missionary
• as a soft dom, he’s not rough with his pace. he thinks sex is a big connection, so he through with pleasuring you
• his cock is so big and girthy, it always expands your walls even if you two have sex all the time. his cock already stretched you out in the best way possible, making sure every inch of his dick is filling up every spot of that sweet pussy
• he fucks at a reasonable pace, filling up the room with those lewd noises that gets him more horny by the second
• since missionary is his favorite, he always grips on your boobs as he thrust into you. he’s a big boob guy so he either might hold them while fucking your or start sucking on them. soobin also liked watching them bounce while fucking you, it turns him on a lot
• he likes it when you wrap your legs around his waist, bring him in closer. it makes his mind go wild, focusing on how bad you want him
• soobin is definitely vocal in bed. he not scared to let out moans or whimpers when fucking you.
• he talks you through it, “that’s it, you’re such a good girl”, “look at me when i fuck you, i wanna see you moan”, “your taking me so good baby, so deep”
• he likes holding you down when fucking. he either holds you down by your waist, pulling your arms and hand above your head, or by your legs and thighs
• one of his things his likes doing in missionary is making you suck on his fingers that used to be in your cunt just 10 minutes ago
• one round can last as long as he wants, depending on his pace but usually lasts up to 10-15 minutes
• but soobin has a high sex drive so be prepared for any other rounds after
• when he’s close to cumming, he gets really sloppy with his pace and thrust and lets out the most beautiful moans when he’s close to letting go
• “fuckk, im cumming pretty girl…let be cum inside your pussy babe, please… shut your so fucking sexy im gonna cum..”
• after you two drive through your orgasm, he quite literally lays on top of you, cock still inside, making sure every drop of his cum stays inside you
• always praises you after, “always so good for me”, “you’re so perfect, love you so much”
• when he finally pulls out, he secretly likes watching some of his cum drop out of you’re sore pussy. it makes him feel like he marked what was his, even if some people didn’t see it
• after care king! he cleans you up well, helps you in the shower, and changes you into comfortable clothes. he always spoils you with kisses after and always suggests to watch a movie and cuddle after sex
i have never been summoned so fast by a set of soobin photos
soobin has a minor major… problem. a little urge to cockwarm that shoves aside all of his other thoughts, always there, teasing, tantalizing, demanding attention to the point he’s not sure how else to fix it. except to give in. or try.
soobin, ‘m a little busy, you giggle a little, turning around to your tall, pouting boyfriend, who looks like he’s going to die of desperation any second now, peering at you through long, messy bangs, his tie undone and hanging around his neck, barely home for 2 seconds and he’s already trailing you like a lost puppy. and it’s not just a welcome home kiss he wants… not with the bulge in his pants. but it’s not his fault, not when he comes home after a long day and you’re cleaning your shared apartment, looking so perfectly pretty and domestic, oh fuck, soobin’s weak.
soobin couldn’t hide a boner if his life depended on it as you turn around, leaning the broom against a wall before leaning towards him on your tip toes, one quick kiss and soobin’s hands already find your waist, tugging you into him,, not even trying to hide how he’s already half hard in his pressed slacks, cute, awkward smile when you pull back, a little whine from him ‘cause one kiss isn’t enough! angel, please, his big hands not so subtly slipping under the waistband of your pajama pants, lazily trying to tug them down. ‘m not done cleaning yet, trying to be stern, but soobin’s disarming your weak defenses quickly, your hands pulling his out of your pants, making him whine in complaint.
i missed you so much, he mumbles, you’re killing me, baby. bringing your hand up to his heart shaped lips, sucking on the tip of your finger, lazy, half lidded eyes gazing down, just for a little bit? one hand on your waist, pressing you up against his bulge, god, he’s irresistible and he knows it.. so easy to always have his way, the corner of his lip tilting up. just cockwarming, okay?
mmph— n-needed this s’ much, doll, soobin’s breathy moan muffled by your hair, face buried in the crook of your neck, his breathing uneven and panting, warm, wet folds sinking slowly ‘round his heavy cock, soobin’s so big, leaking tip drooling all over your insides, clenched around him tight. manspread on the couch as you straddle his lap, legs trembling at the stretch, he’s too impatient for foreplay when all he wants is to cockwarm!
and it feels like his personal heaven, slacks not even off and just unzipped, boxers shoved down clumsily enough to free his heavy cock, neat dress shirt crumpled beneath your fingers, tie dropped somewhere on the floor, poor big dick boyfriend couldn’t wait at all, could he? your arousal dripping all over his crotch, feeling him so deep inside of you, filled so full to the brim it makes you lose your senses, dizzy with the sweet, pleasuring sensation only soobin can give, arms wrapped around his neck. and it’s pure intimacy, his need to be buried in your sweet pussy, warm and it feels like love, stress evaporating as he settles, bottomed out and pressing sleepy kisses to your neck, breathing in your scent
—
oh, he’s so fucked. soobin’s not sure how long has passed, except that you’ve fallen asleep, somewhat drowsy from the comfort… and his dick is aching, heavy and leaking. his hands slipping beneath your thighs, breathily moaning as he thrusts in a little, wet, slick squelch of your juices soaking his crotch, pussy sucking him in deeper as he sloppily fucks your hole, so desperate for release, pure need for sweet relief… and its a little embarrassing how fast he cums, hot, milky seed filling you up inside as you whine at the sudden fullness, tummy bulging a little with his cum and cock, barely awake and milking him of every drop as he moans, hands clumsily pushing your hips down, sticky cum seeping out from your cunt all over his boxers… surely you don’t mind..?
girl i need to sleep fml this is so messy sorry lol will write smth better when i have brain cells
When an almost-confession gets interrupted, what's the best way to handle it? To talk it out of course..not. But as the spring formal nears and love seems to bloom out of every corner, concealing feelings that have been brewing since you were seven have started to become harder to ignore and burrow. Maybe it was time to let them grow - or maybe they have always been growing and it's about time you saw the first petals.
warnings: angst with payoff, fluff, midnight confession, Soobin being stupid and clumsy climbing up your window, they both yearn for each other, two emotionally constipated people who feel too much
wc: 8k+
-> disclaimer : english isn't my first language so i apologize for any grammar mistakes..
part two of 20cm
part one
May 2017
The morning was cool and the sun's rays felt like a warm kiss against your faces. When Soobin rang your doorbell waiting for you downstairs you hesitated - maybe you should just call in sick for today, say you have a fever. But you knew that'd be too obvious so you ultimately decided against it.
Taking a deep breath you collected your thoughts and tried to calm your racing heart as you opened your door.
"Hey"
"Hi"
As you both made your way to school, it should've been just like any morning but the tension was palpable, i felt like it was about to suffocate you both.
"So about yesterday-"
Soobin froze. He thought he could just ignore yesterday, he even debated about it last night and has come to the conclusion to act like it never even happened. He told himself he'd just pick you up and go to school together just like you always have and just continue the way you were right now. A much as it hurt, he thought that maybe it was for the best.
"I just wanted to apologize for lashing out yesterday - i didn't mean it i was just -"
totally jealous of Jungwon for having a date with you?
pissed at the fact he was getting a personal letter from you, praising him about how he's so pretty and athletic?
about to pour out his innermost feelings about you that he'd desperately tried to bury and ignore?
"-stressed" he continued "Im sorry about that. You didn't - you didn't deserve that"
His head hung low, as he bit his lips fearing what your reaction would be.
"It's okay, don't worry" you said reassuringly. Though you weren't sure if it was just directed towards him.
The rest of your walk was silent with both of you fearing that the other would hear your loud and intrusive thoughts.
You tried to suppress them, you really did. You didn't want to prod any further but that edge of curiosity was gnawing out of your chest.
"Was that all you had to say?" you blurted out, so hushed, he almost missed it - but he didn't.
You looked directly at Soobin stopping in your tracks.
This is it a part of him screamed, she's giving you a chance to say it. But another part held him back, If you tell her then what? What if she doesn't feel the same?
And that part won.
Soobin cleared his throat trying to regain his composure "Yeah. That's all."
You tried to ignore the disappointment you felt from his words. But before you could dwell on it, you have already reached the school gates.
//
Your school was buzzing in excitement, whispers about the upcoming spring formal next month. Gossips about who's going with who, proposals left and right, some with a cheesy poster others with a small bouquet of flowers - they were everywhere
Even during lunch you couldn't escape the "spring fever", as Beomgyu called it. You were in the cafeteria with your friend group, just minding your own business and all the sudden there was this one huge proposal, the soccer team's golden boy Sim Jaehyun asking the cheerleader captain Mina to be his date.
Cheers and loud squeals erupted from the cafeteria as he held up a poster spelling "will you bee mine at the spring formal?" as he bit on a rose when Mina walked in.
"Should've known that Jaehyun would be the cliché type" Yeonjun grinned as he took a sip of his water. "Ugh these proposals are everywhere i can't escape the cheesiness" Beomgyu complained and Kai just teased him, saying how he's just secretly salty, because he doesn't have a date.
Upon hearing this your ears perked as you shot Jungwon a knowing grin. "Speaking of proposals-" This earned you a swift kick in the shin. "OW" you winced as you rubbed on the are he hit, glaring at Jungwon with no real malice at all. "Serves you right" he muttered unable to stop the heat from crawling up his neck.
This small interaction didn't go unnoticed by Soobin who was carefully observing the two of you. Was that supposed to be an inside joke? What was it about? He was torn out of his trance when Beomgyu then asked the others if they were planning on asking anyone out - well he was specifically interested at Soobin's answer.
"Soooooo Soobin, you have anyone in mind?" Beomgyu asked wiggling his eyebrows as he not-so-subtly hinted at you with his eyes. Soobin felt himself tense at the question, clenching his fists under the table.
This question seemed to catch your attention as well. You didn't want to admit it but you felt your heart race. Hoping for a certain answer.
Your eyes then caught Soobin's and you saw how his breath hitched. But he quickly looked away and stared at his lunch drilling holes in them.
"I'm not interested in anyone - besides, i don't think im going anyway" Soobin grunted as he stuffed his face with kimchi.
You felt your heart drop to your stomach after hearing your friend-not-actually-friend's answer. But the world doesn't cease to turn and your group's conversation didn't halt there. It wasn't until Lizzy called out your name (after a few unsuccessful attempts), did you realize that you were spacing out. Able to read you like a book, she quietly asked you if you were okay. You merely nodded in response.
//
The sounds of shoes squeaking and balls bouncing made you want to rip your hair off.
Honestly, after the emotional rollercoaster you have been forced to ride, you just wanted to go home, curl into your sheets and gobble some ice cream. But it seems like your best friend had other plans. If someone told you a few weeks ago that the girl you befriended, the one who used to be so shy and hesitant actually turned out to be a very enthusiastic and incredibly persuasive person, you'd just dismiss them with a small chuckle.
But you couldn't have been wrong.
"C'mon, pleeaasssee it'd be so obvious if i go there alone" Elizabeth begged you.
Since Jungwon was part of the team, she wouldn't want to miss out on a chance to cheer on him even if it's just a team practice.
You took a deep breath and pinched your nose, you couldn't really downright refuse your friend when she was being excited especially when she was giving you her best puppy eyes.
And that's exactly how you ended up in this predicament.
"WOOH GO JUNGWON" Elizabeth cheered as Jungwon scored another point. When he looked back at her, with his signature smile, she seemed to freeze and malfunction for a second before going back to normal.
"Isn't his smile so beautiful?" she asked fully dazed. You smiled bittersweetly and nodded finding it beautiful how she could openly show her affection towards the one she liked and vise versa - if only they knew it wasn't one sided.
If only you could say the same.
If there’s one place you could recharge and relax in, it would be your local craft store.
Cute stationary, notebooks and all those knick-knacks? You name it, they've got it.
Even though you were here to gather materials for Jungwon’s springposal, it didn’t make it less therapeutic.
After gathering your supplies you rode back home with your bicycle meeting Jungwon on the way.
“So we’re basically just going to spell “Will U Be my Spring date?” on the poster and make a yes or definitely box for her to tick?” you recollected your ideas.
“Yep - and don’t forget to help me with the flower crown” Jungwon added as he placed two bottles of coke on your desk - for the energy boost he claims.
As your playlist filled your living room, the two of you naturally fell into a rhythm, productively creating the posters and flower crowns. You occasionally had to scold Jungwon for being too aggressive when connecting the flowers’ stems, but he eventually managed.
It was all going smoothly until -
“OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY-” Jungwon profusely apologized after knocking the paint water on your floor. You just gasped dramatically dipping your finger in paint to smear it on his cheek “ Yang Jungwon, how could you be so clumsy”
After realizing what just happened Jungwon didn’t hesitate to take revenge, generously taking a handful of paint from the palette.
“NO- NO DON’T! YOU’RE WASTING IT ALL” you screamed trying to contain your laughter and failing as you tried to run away from Jungwon’s insistent attempts to smear your face with paint.
Luckily the doorbell saved you from being turned into smurfette. After sticking your tongue out to Jungwon who just showed you a grimace in return, you opened the door. But what you weren’t expecting was Soobin standing behind it.
“ ’Bin? What brings you here?” you asked trying to look as presentable as you could with your paint clad clothes and face.
Amused, Soobin took your messy look in, cute he thought.
“Did you try to catch a rainbow? Or why is it that you’re more colorful than the milky way itself?”
You felt yourself choke on your spit at his words - Soobin always teased you but you couldn’t help the blush forming on your cheeks from his words. It doesn’t mean anything Yn. calm down
The sound of Jungwon greeting Soobin from behind you seemed to pull you out of your thoughts.
“Hey Soobin, what’s up” he casually greeted him, dapping him up.
Soobin’s felt his eye twitch. What was he doing here? First the café now this? Gritting his teeth he tried to look as normal as possible.
“Hey.. Jungwon, nothing much - just wanted to bring Yn lunch” The way he said Jungwon’s name came out a little strained, as if saying it was like licking sandpaper.
When he was about to step in Y/n stopped him, making him raise a brow.
“It’s just uh- you don’t have to go in- i mean- i can do it myself ” fuck, why were you stuttering so much? For heaven’s sake it just food.
Soobin carefully read her expressions - this could only mean one thing couldn’t it?
When you left for the kitchen he noticed the unfinished flower crowns on the floor along with paint and poster paper.
“Being crafty i see” he joked but it didn’t sound light at all. Jungwon slowly nodded, noticing the shift in Soobin’s tone.
“Yeah- Yn loves being crafty-”
“I know.”
Because of that swift and stoic response Soobin wanted to kick himself in the shin - so much for staying unaffected.
“Don’t worry man — you see, it’s for-”
”It’s fine - i don’t care, take care of her for me will you” Soobin waved him off unable to stay any longer, leaving a confused Jungwon behind.
On his way home a harsh scoff left his lips and his jaw tightened.
He must admit Jungwon did his research for this one - unlike that café date.
But flower crowns?
Really?
If you needed someone to make them you could’ve just called him. Wasn’t he the one you have been asking to make them with since you randomly started hyperfixiating on flowers whenever spring came since you were 12?
Besides he’s made more flower crowns than Jungwon could even count. He'd make you hundreds of them if you asked.
His mind drifted to all these things you seemed to keep from him. That letter, your secret coffee date and now you even brought Jungwon inside your home doing things you adored and god knows what.
He pressed his lips together, trying to stop those images from forming in his head as he unlocked his front door.
Once he got in his room he threw himself on his bed, his anger diffusing into something more dangerous.
Defeat.
So he ultimately decided to do one thing.
let you go.
(it was for your good after all, wasn’t it?)
It's been a day since you had helped Jungwon with his springposal and a day since Soobin started to act weird around you.
It first started when he picked you up on your way to school. At first you didn't think much of how his responses have turned curt and dry. Maybe he was just groggy?
But then lunch came and he barely reacted to the small stories you told - not even an acknowledging hum or a simple "what happened next?". He didn't even bother sparing you a glance - well it wasn't like you needed him to look at you, it just felt.. different that's all.
But maybe he was just having a bad day right?
As the day dragged on, the excuses you found to comfort your heavy heart slowly ran out.
And what tipped you over the edge wasn't how he seemed to avoid you like the plague or how he said he couldn't walk home with you today because "something came up”.
It was how he was still so carefree around your other friends.
You were on your way home and when you passed the basketball court you immediately recognized Yeonjun, Beomgyu with their other friends. Wanting to greet them, you jogged towards the court until you saw him.
Laughing with his whole chest at something Beomgyu said.
You felt yourself halt in your steps.
Every chuckle, every laugh Soobin let out was something you cherished and loved about him - especially if it was because of you.
But now, it made you shrink back. Was he really just having a bad day? If so why was he still like his usual self with the others, but not with you? Did you do something wrong? Was it something you said?
You tried to rack your brain about your interactions with Soobin for the past few days, but none of them added up to how he was acting right now.
Letting out a shaky breath you turned away from the court and made your way back home.
Had you looked back a second later, your eyes would've met Soobin's and you'd realize - his happiness wasn't as genuine as you painted it to be.
April 2017
After that day you and Soobin seemed to have found a new routine, away from each other.
It didn't happen all at once, it changed so slowly you almost didn't catch it - almost.
It started when he inconsistently picked you up to go to school together and then eventually stopped, it started when he didn't give you small snacks throughout the school day anymore or how he didn't wait for you to finish your library shift.
You tried to pick him up instead, but whenever you knocked on his door, his mom always said he'd already gone to school earlier.
You tried to wait for him to finish his classroom duty which he had every Tuesday, but then his classmate told you, he switched.
You tried to give him snacks during the break, but he always refused saying he was full.
Not even a few minutes later, you'd see him stealing a bite from one of your friends' lunch
And the gap between you grew wider and wider, that the chances of crossing it seemed smaller as time passed by.
June 2017
Loud cheers of support echoed through the gymnasium and colorful banners hung from the bleachers. Today was the long anticipated basketball tournament.
You and Elizabeth were sat on the bleachers holding your own posters as you loudly cheered for your school team - especially for your friends Jungwon and Yeonjun.
It was a close match -with both of the teams' skills on par with each other. By the 4th quarter the points were 85:86 with the opposing school in the lead.
With only a few minutes left, your team was fighting with their blood sweat and tears to catch up but the other team was just as persistent, still defending wildly like machines.
And when the situation seemed hopeless, Jungwon managed to throw the ball before the buzzer rang.
The way the ball circled the rim had you all at the edge of your seats and then-
the ball went in.
Cries of victory rang in your ears
You and Elizabeth hugged each other, overflowing with pride and joy. Jungwon on the other hand was being celebrated by his team mates, ruffling his hair and carrying him on their shoulders.
//
As team captain and MVP Jungwon had to give a small victory speech thanking the faculty that made this game possible and also the students that had come to support them.
"..I would also like to use this opportunity to ask a very special person a very special question" and looked directly at Elizabeth.
This confused the students and the faculty. But the people in on it (his teammates and you) were smiling cheekily.
"W-what? What's going on?" Elizabeth asked perplexed, her heart racing in anticipation.
You wordlessly applied her signature lipstick and nudged her to go down towards Jungwon.
Every one of his teammates were holding a specific poster with letters that spelled "Will U be my Spring date?",
Meanwhile the words yes or definitely were written on either one of his cheeks. Jungwon then poked his cheeks with his pointer fingers "mind kissing the box?" he winked making Elizabeth cover her face to hide the blooming redness of her cheeks. When she got down on the court, she then pecked his cheek that said "definitely" giggling even harder when Jungwon placed a flower crown on her head - daisies, her favorite.
The whole student body was endeared by this proposal and you were no exemption, since you helped make it happen.
Seeing your friends finally meet each other halfway made you feel ecstatic, especially after seeing and helping them build their courage and take their first steps towards each other up close.
But seeing them finally be openly affectionate towards each other was like having a taste of something you could never have.
You swallowed your disappointment, trying to simply be happy for your friends. Even scolding yourself since this isn't about you. Still, it didn't numb the ache that burned in your chest.
The music blared through the speakers that were scattered across the school’s gym, reverberating from the walls. Ms Kim who was your teacher notoriously known for being uptight was smiling brightly as she took pictures in the photo booth and your friends were in their own bubble dancing the night away, filling the room with laughter and joy along with the other students who were just as jubilant.
Despite the atmosphere being light you couldn’t find it in you to bask in its warmth, for your heart still felt heavy in your chest - you felt.. incomplete.
Sighing heavily, you downed your second, or was it your third fruit punch and leaned against the wall in a random corner. You decided it’d be best to just stay here and watch your friends from afar, fearing you’d ruin the fun atmosphere by your brooding. But it seemed like Kai had other plans. When you two had caught each other’s gazes, he beckoned you over inviting you to join them. Being the stubborn boy that he is, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and walked towards you.
“Why so broody?” He joked, playfully nudging your arm in which you responded to with a small huff “Not feeling like dancing”. He observed your expressions for a while and took your hand in his. “Nope. You’re coming with us - no sadness allowed tonight, tell her to go to sleep or something” His terrible Inside Out reference made you laugh and about your initial disappointment. “Fine - but just one song”
One song turned into two and two turned into three. Before you knew it you were fully enjoying yourself, joining your friend’s carefree bubble. Away from your heartache, away from your worries, away from Soobin.
//
Soobin’s room was pitch black, his curtains shut - not even his night light was turned on.
It was just him, and him alone with his thoughts and no one else. He couldn’t bring himself to go to school.
Not today.
Not when Jungwon was finally going to ask you out for the spring formal, especially since he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back at the sight of you hugging someone else so tenderly, maybe even sneak a cheeky peck.
He reminisced how he overheardJungwon asking his teammates to help him with a springposal in the locker room yesterday.
He shuddered at the thought, curling further into his sheets.
His mother left him chicken soup on his night stand to help with his “fever”, but it’s been a few hours and it had already gone cold.
He didn’t think it’d help his ache either way.
Before he could let himself doze off and feel a semblance of peace, someone knocked aggressively against his front door, accompanied by the agitated calls of his name.
“SOOBIN, YAH - COME OUT HERE THIS INSTANT”
Yeonjun.
He mentally debated whether to let him in or not, but the neighborhood was small and although it had its perks, one downside would be how fast news travels. So before weird rumors start circulating as to why he wouldn’t open his door for his best friend, he reluctantly dragged himself to let the latter in.
Soobin couldn’t even get a word in and he’s already getting shoved against the wall.
“I really tried to stay quiet and not intervene - but you can’t keep doing this to yourself ‘Bin” Yeonjun chided.
He has had to sit still and watch his friend walk through a path of self destruction under the guise of protecting someone - when in reality they were both already drowning.
Soobin deliberately avoided Yeonjun’s gaze, trying to downplay the latters words. The silence hung heavy in the air and Yeonjun’s grip slowly loosened.
“If that’s all you have to say, you can leave” Soobin already had his back turned from his friend, ready to go to his room and wallow in self-pity, stuck in a cycle where he claims everything he does is for your good and-
“She isn’t with anyone”
Yeonjun’s words made him stop in his tracks - You weren’t with anyone?
“i thought she’d be with Jungwon” he muttered his head still hanging low.
Yeonjun scoffed, the statement sounding terribly absurd in his ears.
“all this time - you were avoiding here because you thought she liked Jungwon?”
Soobin merely shrugged. “I didn’t want to make things weird.”
“but you did.”
That revelation alone was enough to knock the air out of him.
No - what he did was for the best and it was all to protect what you had…
right?
Soobin then sees fragments of interactions between the two of you. The way you looked at him when Beomgyu asked him if he was taking someone out for the spring formal, maybe he really wasn’t imagining the way you were looking at him as if you were expecting something specific from him or during your get together in Yeonjun’s backyard when you were getting the drinks and he almost confessed everything, when you leaned closer giving him time to tell you what was plaguing his mind.
Seeing him piece the once stray pieces of the puzzle together, Yeonjun pats his friend’s shoulder.
“Go.”
It was all Soobin needed to hear, before he ran towards the school not even bothering to change.
//
Soobin ran as fast as his legs took him, his lungs burned but he pushed himself through it all, his doubts unable to catch up for the moment.
Within a blink of an eye he finally reached the bustling and colorful gymnasium, the music bleeding from the walls.
When he felt the lights on his face and saw the huge crowds of students and some teachers it all he froze. What was he doing? Standing in his pajamas in the same place he told himself he wouldn’t go to. Some were looking at him weirdly but he couldn’t care less - not now.
It doesn’t take long for him to find you. Like muscle memory he always knows where you are in a room full of people.
There you were dancing your heart out, with a smile he felt was only a distant memory to him . He let out a shaky sigh as he took one slow step forward.
But it only took one look from you to lock his limbs in place. In an instant, his body wasn't his to control anymore. And then he saw how your bright and carefree smile slowly dropped upon seeing him.
The gymnasium suddenly felt like it was closing in on him, ghe loud chatter and music seemed to be muffled.
Only the doubts, he thought he had finally left behind, were the only things he could hear, as they finally caught up to him.
You on the other hand were startled, you didn’t expect Soobin to come. Especially not in his pajamas and hair in disarray that suggested he had been curled up in bed before this. You couldn’t wrap your head around the situation.
Why was he here after he explicitly said he wouldn’t be?
Why is he looking at you like you were some puzzle he needed to solved?
Why was he taking a step back?
Why is he leaving?
“Soobin” you called out hating your voice cracked
But no matter how often you called him he only seemed to run faster.
“Soobin STOP” you cried out
This made Soobin falter and stop in his tracks.
You were somewhere near the school gates, far from the gymnasium, away from the rowdiness that couldn’t compare to the emotional turmoil you were both stuck in.
“Why did you come?” you asked trying to sound composed, ignoring the way your hands were visibly shaking.
When Soobin refused to turn around and speak, you felt yourself unable to hold your tongue. Your emotions that kept on piling up because of his behavior, the ones you desperately tried to keep in bay started to trickle out, until they all came crashing down.
“Why do you keep doing this?”
“WHY WON’T YOU LOOK AT ME?” this time your voice came out sharper than intended but you didn’t care anymore you pulled his arm to face you, but he was still cowering.
It was exhausting
You could finally have some fun, smile and dance without having to think about him. And he just took that away with just his presence - without an explanation.
The silence felt like felt heavy, crushing you both with no remorse.
Your grip on his arm started to loosen - you couldn’t do it anymore.
Trying to hold onto someone who didn’t want to be held.
Someone who seemed to slip through your fingers like sand.
Accepting your fate you let out a tearful whisper. “You’re so cruel, Choi Soobin”
Those words felt like a slap to Soobin’s face All he did was for your own good, to let you be happy even though it was without him - was he so wrong to do that?
Each clank of your footstep felt like someone kicking him to the curb over and over again.
he was losing you
the one person he had always stuck with ever since he was seven, the one who took him in her treehouse with no hesitation
the one he had been utterly and irrevocably in love with before he even knew what love was.
He couldn’t breathe, the air was stuck in his lungs. Why wouldn’t his feet move - just MOVE goddamnit, you were getting further and further away and he still won’t - can’t move.
Was this how it ends?
//
Right after that confrontation with Soobin, you couldn’t bring yourself to go back to the party and pretend you were fine. Pretend like you didn’t just leave your heart with Soobin.
Your walk home was tense. Each step you took seemed to be heavier than the last.
When you got in your room you ripped your dress off and snatched the first hoodie you could grab and threw yourself in your sheets.
Letting out a shaky exhale you closed your eyes trying to focus and think about anyone but Soobin.
Then you realized whose hoodie you were wearing. The familiar scent of sandalwood, that has started to fade, haunted your senses.
Before you could stop it your tears started to fall - violently so. You could’t hold it in anymore.
You hated it.
You hated how Soobin made you felt.
how he kept on leaving you in the dark.
how he was everywhere in your room.
And most of all,
You hated how you still loved him nonetheless.
Sniffling you grabbed your pillow and threw it across your room, it hit your vanity knocking down your things but you couldn’t care less.
Between sobs your eyes caught the familiar red bracelet you have consecutively worn since it was gifted to you.
You had always worn it with pride and a fluttering heart - but now it served as a painful reminder of what you couldn’t have.
As if it had been burning you, you frantically pulled it off of your wrist throwing it against the wall.
You don’t know when you fell asleep, but the damp thumping of pebbles against your window tore you away from your peaceful slumber.
Standing up, you groggily made your way towards your window, your eyes barely open.
But seeing who was down there, felt like someone just poured a bucket full of ice over your head.
Soobin.
You scoffed at the sight, you couldn’t care less - you shouldn’t. Not after he kept on hurting you over and over again with no explanation. He can’t just come and go whenever he pleases.
Going back to your bed, you tried to ignore the incessant pebbles knocking against your window. Let the neighbors think what they want to think, let them gossip. It’s none of your business anymore - at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.
And then the pebbles stopped.
Of course they would - he’d given up.
Just like he always did whenever things got serious.
You shouldn’t have expected-
knock knock knock
You turned towards your window shocked to see Soobin hanging on to that tree branch by your window for dear life with a terrified expression.
“WHAT THE HELL?” you whisper shouted - you knew your friend was stupid, but not this stupid
Rushing towards your window, you opened it and let him in. You just didn't want to be responsible if he falls and breaks his leg - that's all it was. But then again you weren't so sure about that anymore.
You let Soobin in, who fell onto your bedroom floor with a loud thump - you prayed your parents didn't hear.
But that was actually the least of your worries at the moment.
The silence that hung in the air was thick and none of you dared to make the first move.
Soobin seemed to quietly gauge your reactions, treading carefully afraid one wrong step would cost him everything. It wasn't until you broke your silence did he let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.
"You disturbed me at what - 12 am just to stare ?" you scoffed arms crossed, not finding it in you to even try to be considerate. And maybe you were just hoping he wouldn't see your tear stricken face especially because of your mascara.
Soobin frantically shook his head "N-no of course not i just- i-"
"You what?" your angry voice felt like a thorn in his side. He'd never seen or heard you be so angry before. And it was all because of him.
But then he saw it - the way you clenched and unclenched your fists and how your eyes were glossy under the moonlight, you weren't angry - you were trying not to cry.
He'd seen you cry a handful of times, when you failed an exam you studied so hard for, when you lost your favorite plushy after a long trip or when the two of you were watching those sappy movies you insisted on watching.
But never - never in his life had he been the reason for your tears and he didn't expect it to hurt this much.
Feeling a lump forming in his throat he tried to avert his gaze away from you and by chance his eyes caught that faint red bracelet carelessly thrown on the ground.
Kneeling down he took it in his hands and admired it fondly, a flood of memories crashing through him.
He was so used to feeling like he was about to drown, whenever he was about to tell you his feelings - but now? He felt at ease.
no doubts, no what ifs
just ease
"You know i was struggling when i made this bracelet?" he chuckled at the memory of his younger self. Your eyes were glued to the floor.
"I asked mom to help me make this - i've always been terrible in arts and crafts. It took me days to understand how to tie the loops" he traced his fingers across the beads he had carefully picked at the time, which have now worn out throughout the years.
"She asked - 'Soobin-ah why don't you just let me tie it for you?' or ' How about we make something else - something easier?'" he chuckled.
"But for some reason, i refused over and over again - i had to make it myself"
"Do you want to know why?" he asked softly, feeling less tense after finally meeting your eyes.
"You always gave others handmade accessories, necklaces, bracelets you name it and i just- i just wanted to be the first one"
he then took one step
"to give you something"
and another step
"that was only"
until he was now in front of you
"and truly mine"
You felt like your heart was about to explode - these were the words you had been dreaming about, but they didn't fill the void in your chest.
"You ignored me Soobin, you kept on making me chase you - you can't just-"
Finally looking at him properly, you wished you never let him in the first place.
"You can't just walz back in pretending everything is fine" you wanted to push him away, just like he did you, you wanted to sound angry but you hated how your voice cracked instead.
Soobin's hand went to reach out for you, but was left hanging when you pulled away.
You absolutely hated how you couldn't stop your tears from falling, or how you started breathing erratically, that everything started to spin.
You quickly rubbed your eyes with much more force than necessary, as if willing to push your tears back. You felt helplessly frustrated at how you couldn't even feel the slightest bit of anger. And before you knew it you were letting out a string of sobs.
"I didn't even know what I did wrong 'Bin - i tried- i tried to understand but i just couldn't"
As if moving on instinct, Soobin's arms instantly wrapped around yours, the moment he heard your first sob. It made you punch his chest, desperate to push him away. But he refused to let go, holding you tighter instead
"Every time - every time i thought you felt the same - or- or when you-"
another punch
"WHY? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?" your scream coming out as a broken rasp.
Soobin felt a piece of him break after each sentence.
Your punches were nothing compared to each sob you cried each tear you shed and each word you threw at him.
He had been silently hurting you all this time, when all he wanted was to let you go and be with the person he thought you'd liked.
He had been foolishly thinking, that he was the only one carrying the burden of unrequited feelings.
He thought he was making things easier when he was the reason everything had turned complicated.
"I'm sorry" he croaked
"I'm so so sorry" he repeated over and over again his own tears soaking your hair as his arms wrapped impossibly tighter around you.
"I thought i was doing the right thing - letting you be happy" his own body shook against yours "I didn't realize i was doing the exact opposite."
Soobin couldn't fight the dam he'd been desperate to hold together as all his pent up and buried feelings finally met the surface.
"i thought- i thought you were with Jungwon and- the letter, your cafe date, when you were at home together - painting"
Soobin mindlessly babbled all of his assumptions, finally letting his innermost worries lay bare in front of both of you.
You were now able to piece all the memories together, his temper, avoidance, his words - It all made sense now.
You felt your grip on Soobin's shirt loosen your face showing an unreadable expression.
That's the reason? Were you hearing this correctly?
But then you let out a chuckle
then another one
and before you knew it you burst out laughing.
Soobin tilted his head, perplexed by your unusual reaction "What's so funny?"
You then looked up at him and cupped his cheeks, your eyes glassy, but this time they weren't just sad tears.
"You meant to say - we've been missing each other halfway, because you thought i liked Jungwon? You didn't even bother asking if it was true, you just saw things and ran with it"
Soobin stilled - you were right. This was all unnecessary, it could've been prevented if he had just had the guts and asked.
Still busy with his thoughts, he didn't process anything else until a warm pair of lips connected with his. Frozen in place he couldn't move any of his limbs, fully at your mercy.
You pulled away for a second, pressing your forehead against his and whispered fondly
"Soobin, you're such an idiot"
and this time Soobin answered.
"Yes, i guess i was" smiling affectionately and cradled your cheek so tenderly in a way it felt like a ghost's touch.
The two of you couldn't help but smile giddily into the kiss, unable to mask the amount of joy you felt.
As giggles slipped out your lips Soobin couldn't help but squish your cheeks temporarily breaking the kiss.
"You don't know how long I waited for that"
You just held him tighter, tip-toeing to peck the tip of his nose
"I think we've done enough waiting"
As you gazed into each other's eyes, you felt nothing but complete.
December 2017
17 years old
Today was Soobin's birthday - and also his first birthday as your boyfriend.
Even though it had already been months since that night, referring to him as your partner was something you can't seem to get used to.
"What's got you so distracted?" an all too familiar voice called out from behind you.
You just rolled your eyes and grinned
"Nothing, let's get going now - since when do you take so long to get ready?" you asked as you walked over towards his favorite café.
Taking your hand in his he just answered
"Since, i had to look extra handsome for my beautiful girlfriend"
you tried to ignore the way his words made your heart flutter. Soobin on the other hand seemed to relish in your rosy cheeks, knowing it wasn't just because of the cold.
When you finally reached your destination, you made your way to your usual seat - the one you claimed ever since you first started going here, which is the one near the glass window, where you had an unobstructed view of the passerby.
You stayed back to order and from your seat Soobin couldn't help but admire you. Although he already has the privilege to be able to gaze into your eyes and look at your face from any distance he desired, nothing compared to just being able to see you do mundane things, whether it be brushing your hair or just ordering your usual drinks.
He didn't even bother hiding it when you came back.
"What are you looking at?" you huffed, a small smile tugging up your lips as you sat down and took a sip of your coffee humming at the sweet taste.
"You."
His brazen answer made you choke on your drink.
"Hey - you're never going to stop being clumsy are you?" Soobin stood up from his seat reaching out for the napkins and handed them to you.
When he looked at you with genuine worry you almost felt bad cursing him out in your head - doesn't he know what he's doing to you? He's definitely doing it on purpose, because there's no way.
"Im fine" you waved him off, hoping he doesn't notice how your neck was red - spoiler alert he did, but at least he had a semblance of remorse and didn't comment on it.
Calming down you then pulled out your phone to take pictures of your drinks.
As you took the photo Soobin then invaded the frame so you took a picture of him instead, making you laugh.
"What was that?"
"Just thought you needed something prettier on the frame" he shrugged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You just shook your head endeared by his antics.
//
The air was so cold, a small puff of smoke escaped your lips after each breath, but as you walked with your hand safely tucked inside the pocket of Soobin's jacket, it felt comfortably warm.
Walking along the familiar streets of your neighborhood, everything felt different while it all looked the same. The same cat that always wandered, being fed by every household it entered, no one really knew who it belonged to. There was also the same flickering lamppost that never gets repaired. It was all still the same.
"Where are you taking me?" Soobin asked, as if he wouldn't follow regardless where it was.
"You'll see"
Then you arrived at the treehouse by your backyard.
Soobin raised a brow but still climbed up to follow you. And when he got there.
pop
pop
pop
"SURPRISE"
all your friends were in that decorated treehouse, wearing party hats and holding party poppers.
Gifts were strewn on the table alongside a cake with candles that said "Happy Birthday Soobin"
Soobin's face lit up realizing what this was and looked at you
"You did this?" he asked, his eyes twinkling. You nodded in response.
Soobin didn't waste time to pull you into his arms pressing his lips against the crown of your head as he whispered a small thank you.
"Hey, she wasn't the only one who did the work" Beomgyu teased - of course he did. Yeonjun only smacked the back of his head scolding him "Yah, let them be sappy - it's a hundred time better than them being emotionally constipated" Everyone else in the room (except the two of you) hummed in agreement.
"We're still here you know" you squinted your eyes at your friends but didn't disagree.
Jungwon lit the candles and handed you the cake.
"Happy birthday to you" you all sang
"Happy Birthday to you"
you walked towards him eyes focused on the cake, careful to not accidentally drop it. His on the other hand, were only focused on you.
"Happy Birthday, dear Soobin" he watched you walk closer to him
"Happy Birthday to you"
Everything seemed to fade in to the background, and it was only you and him. The way the candle's light highlighted your features just right, your concentrated face - Nothing can get better than this. He didn't seem to register the congratulatory cheers from his friends, at least not until you nudged him.
"Make a wish" you whispered.
Nodding Soobin clasped his hands together and closed his eyes.
"i wish for us to stay together forever" and blew the candles.
The once spacious treehouse, now felt cramped especially since there were now two new people inside. But it hasn't lost its charm.
After opening his gifts, Kai pointed out the careless carvings on one of the treehouse's beam.
"Hey look, let's carve our heights again - when was even the last time we did it?"
//
July 2015
14 years old
You all felt hot and sticky - you couldn't even stay indoors since there was a power outage. Luckily you seemed to remember that you had a treehouse. Being a teenager, hanging out in one seemed uncool so the place had been collecting dust until today.
The air felt cool and accompanied by your mother's fresh pressed ice lemonade, you didn't need an AC anymore.
"I'm so boreedddd" Beomgyu groaned as he played with a yoyo. Yeonjun who was just playing with a pocket knife which was a girft from his dad suddenly had an idea.
"What if we carved our height with our names on that beam over there -"
"Cheeessyyyy" Beomgyu teased but didn't outwardly refuse.
"It's fun" Kai defended Yeonjun
"Why not" Taehyun shrugged
"That's actually really cute" you agreed getting up from the beanbag you were previously sitting on - Soobin followed not long after.
The six of you then gathered around your chosen beam and carved your names one by one.
After Yeonjun finished carving his name he handed the knife to Soobin who only shook his head
"I'll write mine later." he blushed
This made Yeonjun's raise a brow skeptically, but he didn't prod any further.
The others then carved their heights along with their names, teasing the shorter one relentlessly.
After you carved your name and height, you prided yourself for being the third tallest in your group. When you were about to hand the blade to Kai but before it could even land on the his palm, Soobin had already snatched it and carved his own name alongside his height beside yours.
"What was that about?" Kai tilted his head "You'll get your turn" he continued.
"Yeah but it won't be next to Yn" Beomgyu snickered high-fiving Yeonjun who was also just as, if not more amused, while Taehyun just nodded in approval.
This made you blush and Soobin tried to stay unaffected (which was useless his neck was already red).
//
"Are you sure using a butter knife is the way to go?" Yeonjun pinched the bridge of his nose as Beomgyu carved away.
"You wanna go downstairs and pick up a better one?" Beomgyu retorted.
Yeonjun just rolled his eyes and pulled out his pocket knife.
"That works too" Beomgyu pointed and dropped the knife in his hand.
And so the six of you refreshed your carvings while also adding Jungwon and Elizabeth's names and heights - now labeled as your honorary treehouse members.
Tracing your fingers through the old and new carvings you felt how much time has passed and how much you have all grown.
"I forgot how much shorter you were back then" you teased Soobin, shoving him lightly with your shoulder. Remembering how you used to tower over him (it was a mere 5cm and it didn't last long since his growth spurt was brutal)
"Haha so funny" he laughed sarcastically "look who's taller now?" Soobin flashed you a grin motioning at your current height distance.
You only rolled your eyes in response. "It's literally just around 20cm - it's not that serious" feeling salty even though you were the one that started the argument in the first place
Your boyfriend just flashed you a boyish smile as he bent down to your height to ruffle your hair
"20 cm or 5 it shouldn't be much of a problem - we'll always meet each other halfway" he stated and before you could think about what he meant he placed a chaste kiss on your lips.
Beomgyu then just loudly shrieked in disgust, reminding you how you weren't alone in the treehouse eliciting fond laughter from your other friends.
Soobin couldn't have wished for a better way to spend his birthday.
//
As time passed, the laughter that filled your precious treehouse died down and it was time for the others to go home.
You and Soobin stayed behind to clean up.
After finishing you threw yourself on the bean bag letting out a satisfied yet exhausted exhale, it was the first time you experienced some peace and quiet after coming here to celebrate Soobin's birthday. But it seemed like the latter had different plans and threw himself on you, rather than the lonely and empty bean bag beside you.
"Soobin what the-"
"Nope - no complaining it's my birthday" he interrupted as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck as he wrapped his arms around your frame. Not finding it in you to scold him, you gave in and thread your fingers in his hair.
The sound of cicadas and the distant sounds of cars that passed by your street by occasion filled your ears as Soobin shifted to lay his head on your chest and absentmindedly played with your bracelet.
"Happy Birthday 'Bin" you looked down at him. He met your eyes and thanked you with a smile, showing off the dimples you loved so much
"Oh that reminds me" you then excused yourself for a second, quietly chuckling to yourself when you noticed Soobin pout as he lost the familiar warmth of your body on his.
"Close your eyes"
When Soobin's view was covered you then pulled out the small rectangular gift box you had prepared for today.
When you then let Soobin open his eyes you were already standing before him holding out your present.
"Open it" you ushered him, unable to contain your excitement.
When Soobin opened the box his breath hitched. A red beaded necklace with one pink bead in the center sandwiched between two green ones.
"Surprise" you beamed at him.
Soobin felt a lump in his throat form. You made this. For him. Just for him. And it matched the one he made for you.
Feeling a wave of emotions rush through him he couldn't hold his lips back from wobbling and not soon after tears trickled down his cheeks.
Cooing at his wholesome reaction you placed held him close, a hand on his head and the other one on his back.
"You're such a sap 'Bin" you softly teased.
Soobin didn't bother retorting and held you impossibly closer, sniffling in your embrace.
It was at that moment you knew - all those tears, those years and the wait was worth it.
a/n: yaayy we finally finished 20cm. This is my first long fic ever and my first angsty one. I loved writing the slow burn and it was overall such a fun experience for me i might write more fics like these. I also want to thank you for your support, your notes, reblogs or comments mean the world to me. It helped motivate me write too. I hope you enjoyed reading this story ^^
Holy shit words cannot describe how fucking disappointed I am by the state of k-pop fanfics on Wattpad rn.
Like they were never that well-written from the start, but atleast it was written by a human.
I mean I'm pretty sure it's common consensus that no platform does Mafia!Ceo! Billionaire! Jungkook better than wattpad.
Where are my 13 yr old cornballs whose grammar could give an English professor a stroke🥀💔.Like looking back they were probably the people who carried this trend on their back- and they were so fucking good at it like reading that shit was my guilty pleasure.
And now it's just AI Slop top to bottom - mf it's either chats from c.ai or chatgpt with the prompt left in.
Like we're losing ancient texts y'all - I don't think y'all understand but 2020 k-pop Rpf on Wattpad is just as big of a phenomenon as 2014 prime 1D Wattpad.
And now these teens are missing out on the CULTURE by interacting ,writing and reading with AI.
Honestly if you're an author who doesn't use AI, I love you no matter what you write.
And if you do use AI , you're not an author just a client to that AI model and I hope you stop using it.
soobin lets you slide onto him while he’s soft so you can feel him slowly grow hard inside you.
❛ content 2.8k words, 18+ [ MDNI! ], explicit sexual content, power bottom!male reader, nerd!soobin, getting hard while inside, big dick!soobin, unprotected sex (p in a), cockwarming kinda, riding, creampie, praise, lots of kisses.
"can we put it in soft and feel it grow together?"
the question hangs in the air of soobin's dimly lit room, completely severing the comfortable silence that had settled over them like a well-worn blanket.
soobin's pen freezes mid-annotation over his biology textbook, and for a solid three seconds, or maybe just a little more, his brain — usually so quick, so sharp when it came to memorizing diagrams and reciting historical dates — completely short-circuits.
he hears your words, processes each one individually, but putting them together into a coherent concept feels like trying to solve a calculus problem underwater.
beside him, you're already wiggling with barely contained excitement, your phone abandoned face-down on the mattress. you're watching your boyfriend with those eager eyes, waiting, practically vibrating.
soobin slowly turns his head, and he can feel the heat creeping up his neck, flooding his cheeks. his glasses have slid down his pretty nose slightly, and he pushes them up with one finger, a nervous habit.
"what?!"
but you're already leaning into him, your hand finding his knee through the soft gray fabric of his sweatpants.
"i'm serious! think about it, babe."
your voice is that special kind of excited, the one soobin usually hears when you're explaining a new game you're completely obsessed with or suggesting a takeout place you've been dying to try.
"we've never done it like that. it's always, you know... we're both already hard, and it's kind of rushed and intense. but this..." you squeeze his knee, your thumb tracing a small circle. "this would be different. slower. we could just... be together. and feel everything."
soobin's heart is doing something erratic in his chest.
he's still holding his pen, still surrounded by highlighters and flashcards, and his ridiculously attractive boyfriend is sitting on his bed, talking about his dick like it's the most natural thing in the world. which, okay, it is, they've been together for eight months, they're past the awkward stage. but this is... new.
"you want to..." soobin swallows, his throat suddenly dry. he glances down at his own lap, then back at you, his cheeks impossibly pinker. "you want to sit on it? while it's... you know?"
"soft, yeah."
you nod enthusiastically, scooting closer, and your thigh presses against his.
"i just keep thinking about what it would feel like. the sensation of it... waking up inside me. getting harder because of me, because of us," your voice drops a little, losing some of its excited energy and gaining something warmer, something more intimate. "i think it would feel really good, babe. really close."
and that's the thing.
soobin has never been able to deny you anything when you look at him like that, when your voice goes soft and you say his name like it means something more than just letters strung together. he's completely, utterly gone for you, and you know it. you use that power sometimes, but never cruelly. always like this — to pull him closer, to bring him into a moment with you.
he sets his pen down carefully, marking his place in the textbook with a sticky note; a small, practical gesture that's so distinctly him that it makes your heart clench.
"you really want to?" soobin asks softly, his voice quieter now, a little shy.
"yeah, more than anything right now," you admit, and it's the truth.
the textbook, the phone, the outside world — it's all completely faded away. there is just soobin, in his ridiculously soft-looking oversized white t-shirt and those grey sweatpants that you've told him a hundred times should be illegal, his dark hair falling over his forehead, his glasses framing those warm, curious eyes that are currently fixed entirely on you.
soobin bites his lower lip, a telltale sign that he's thinking, he's considering. then, slowly, he shifts on the bed, putting his textbook on the nightstand. he leans back against the headboard, the wood creaking softly, and his long legs stretch out, then bend slightly, creating a space for you, an invitation.
"okay," he breathes out, the word carrying a mix of nervousness and genuine curiosity. "let's... let's try."
and oh, you don't need to be told twice.
you're moving immediately, crawling over the messy comforter to settle between your boyfriend’s legs. soobin watches you, his hands coming up to softly rest on your hips as you straddle him, your knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his thighs.
you're face to face now, close enough to see the tiny mole under his eye, the way his eyelashes flutter.
"hi," you whisper, a stupid, giddy smile spreading across your face.
a matching smile tugs at soobin's lips, despite his obvious embarrassment.
"hi," he whispers back. his hands are warm through the thin fabric of your pajama pants. "this is so weird."
"good weird or bad weird?"
"just... weird. different."
soobin ducks his head slightly, looking at where your bodies meet, at the tentatively interested bulge in his own pants that's nowhere near full attention.
"are you sure you're gonna be comfortable? what if—"
you cut him off with a kiss; it's soft, just a brush of lips, simply meant to soothe.
"we'll go slow. if it's weird or uncomfortable, we can just stop. okay?"
soobin nods against your mouth. "okay."
you kiss him again, deeper this time, and you feel his huge hands tighten on your hips. you rock forward experimentally, just a small shift of weight, and soobin makes a tiny sound against your lips.
you break the kiss to sit back slightly, your hands finding the hem of his oversized t-shirt. "can i?"
soobin lifts his arms without a word, and you pull the shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere behind you, and your breath catches, like it always does.
you've already seen him naked countless times, but the sight of his pretty bare chest, the smooth expanse of pale skin, the subtle definition of muscle from carrying heavy books and the occasional gym session with his friends — it never gets old. he's beautiful in a way that feels accidental, unassuming.
soobin doesn't seem to fully realize how hot he is, and that, somehow, makes him even hotter.
your fingers find the waistband of his sweatpants, and you look at him for permission. once again, soobin gives a small, shy nod. you tug them down, along with his boxers, just enough. his cock lies soft against his thigh, and you feel a fresh wave of heat pool in your stomach. it's still him, still soobin, still the part of him that makes you feel so incredibly full and complete.
it's just... resting.
you shimmy out of your own pajama pants and boxers quickly, not wanting to break the moment. when you settle back on his lap, it's skin-to-skin, his soft length pressed against the curve of your ass. soobin hisses in a breath, his fingers digging into your hips.
you position yourself carefully, one hand on soobin’s shoulder for balance, the other reaching down to guide him. your eyes meet his.
"ready?"
he looks terrified and thrilled in equal measure.
"ready."
you shift your weight, lowering yourself slowly. the head of soobin’s soft cock presses against your entrance, and for a moment, it just... sits there. it's an odd sensation, really — the familiar pressure, but without the familiar hardness. it feels almost impossibly soft, pliable.
you take a breath and push down gently.
the slide is different; way slower. there is no resistance in the same way, because he's soft, but your body still has to accommodate his size. even soft, soobin is... well, considerable. you feel yourself stretching around him, taking him in inch by inch, and the sensation is so unique, so new, that a shaky moan escapes your lips.
soobin's eyes are wide.
"oh," he breathes. "oh, wow."
"you okay?" you manage to ask, pausing when you're about halfway seated.
soobin nods frantically, his hands softly stroking up and down your sides.
"y-yeah. it's just... it feels so warm, and so tight. but it's also different. it's like... i can feel everything. i can feel every part of you."
you lower yourself the rest of the way, and then you're fully seated, his soft cock buried completely inside you. you sit there for a moment, just breathing, just feeling; the weight of him, the fullness, the strange, intimate knowledge that he's inside you but not hard inside you.
it's like a secret, a moment stolen from time.
you're both still for a long, breathless moment. soobin's hands are splayed across your lower back, warm and grounding, and you can feel his heartbeat, or maybe it's yours — it's hard to tell anymore when you're this close.
"how does it feel?" you whisper, your forehead resting against his.
"warm," he repeats, his voice soft with wonder. "and... tight. but it's like..." he struggles for words, his brow furrowing adorably. "it's like i can feel you holding me. not like... fucking. just holding."
you smile, pressing a gentle kiss to soobin’s lips.
"yeah. that's what i wanted."
you start to move, but not in any real rhythm.
just small, subtle shifts of your hips. you were rocking, more than anything, simply testing the sensation. with each tiny movement, you feel him, soft and pliant, moving inside you, and it's incredibly intimate in a way you hadn't tully anticipated.
soobin's hands roam your back, your sides, his touch full of reverence. your boyfriend is looking at you like you're something so precious, something he can't quite believe is real. his cheeks are still flushed that pretty pink you love so much, his lips slightly parted.
"you're so beautiful," he murmurs, almost to himself.
you feel a flutter of warmth in your chest that has nothing to do with where you're connected.
"so are you."
you kiss him again, deeper this time. your tongue slides against his, slow and exploratory, and soobin’s hands come up to cup your face, holding you close. the kiss deepens, becomes more urgent, more hungry. you feel his hips twitch beneath you, a small, unconscious thrust.
and then, finally, you feel it — the slightest change; a thickening, a growing weight inside you. you gasp against his mouth at the very new sensation, pulling back just enough to look at him.
soobin’s eyes are hazy, his pupils blown wide.
"soobin," you breathe. "i can feel you."
he looks down, as if he could see through both your bodies to where they're joined.
"it's you," soobin whispers, his voice wrecked. "it's because of you. you feel so good."
another small, unconscious thrust. another surge of growth. soobin’s cock is filling out inside you, pressing against your walls in a way it couldn't when it was soft. the sensation is really overwhelming — the gradual stretch, the increasing fullness… you can feel every ridge, every vein as they become more pronounced.
you can feel soobin getting harder because of you, because of the way your body is wrapped around him, because of the kisses, because of the closeness.
"oh—my god," soobin pathetically whimpers, his head falling back against the headboard. his hands grip your hips tighter, his knuckles white. "oh my god, that feels... that feels so..."
"i know," you groan, and you start to move with more purpose now, rolling your hips in a slow circle. each movement seems to encourage him, to draw more blood, more hardness. "i can feel every second of it. you're getting so hard inside me, babe."
soobin makes a sound that's somewhere between a moan and a whine, high-pitched and desperate.
"d-don't stop. please don't stop."
you don't. you keep moving, keep kissing him, keep whispering praise against his lips.
"feel how good you feel. feel how perfectly you fit."
"i can't—" soobin cuts himself off with another whine, his hips starting to thrust up in small, jerky movements that meet your rolls. "it's too much. it feels too good."
"it's not too much," you assure him, your hand coming up to card through his soft hair, pushing it back from his forehead. "you're doing so well. just feel it. feel me."
soobin is fully hard now, thick and heavy inside you, and the transition from soft to hard has left you both breathless and shaking. you've never experienced anything like it — the gradual, inexorable filling, the knowledge that his arousal is a direct response to you, to this moment. it's really intoxicating.
"i wanna move," soobin begs, his voice cracking. "please, baby, please can i move? i need—i need to—"
you simply nod, unable to form words properly. you lift yourself slightly, and soobin thrusts up, a real thrust this time, deep and sure. you both moan, the sound mingling in the small space between you.
"y-yeah," you gasp. "like that. just like that—"
soobin sets a rhythm, slow at first, still overwhelmed by the newness of it all. his thrusts are deep, deliberate, each one punching a soft sound from your lips, and his hands are everywhere — your hips, your back, your face.
he can't stop touching you, can't stop looking at you.
"you're so perfect," soobin babbles, his words tumbling out between kisses and pretty moans. "so perfect for me. i love you so much. i love being inside you. i love—ah!—i love feeling you."
you capture his mouth with yours, swallowing his words, his every sounds. you simply love him like this — open, vulnerable, completely undone by you. the pretty nerd who annotates his textbooks and makes color-coded study guides, reduced to a whining, desperate mess because of how you feel around him.
you start to meet his thrusts, matching his rhythm, making it deeper and harder. the bed creaks beneath you, the sound joining the wet, obscene noises of your bodies coming together.
"i'm close," soobin warns, his voice tight.
he's gripping you so hard you know there will be bruises tomorrow, and you can't bring yourself to care.
"i'm so close, baby, where do you want—"
"inside," you moans. "stay inside—wanna feel you come inside me."
soobin’s eyes roll back slightly at your words, and his thrusts become erratic, losing their rhythm. he's chasing his release, but he's also watching you, making sure you're with him. your boyfriend’s hand snakes down between your bodies, finding your cock, stroking you in time with his thrusts.
it only takes a few more strokes; you come with a broken cry of his name, your body clenching around him, and that's all it takes to push soobin over the edge. he follows with a desperate, high-pitched moan, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you, hot and deep.
for a long moment, neither of you moves.
you're both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together, sharing the same humid air. soobin's hands are still on you, but they've gone soft, just resting.
right now, you can feel him softening inside you, the reverse of the sensation from before, and it's just as incredible in its own way.
finally, you shift, wincing slightly at the oversensitivity, and soobin's hands immediately try to hold you still.
"wait," he murmurs. "just... wait a second. i'm not ready to not be inside you yet."
you smile, pressing a kiss to his nose.
"okay."
you simply stay like that for a long time, connected, breathing together. soobin’s thumbs trace absent patterns on your skin, and your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.
the room slowly cools around you, but you're both warm, wrapped up in each other.
"that was..." he trails off, searching for the right word.
"incredible?" you offer.
"yeah," soobin laughs softly, a little puff of air against your lips. "incredible. you always have the best ideas."
"i know," you tease, but you're smiling too.
eventually, you have to move.
the practicalities of cleanup, of bodily functions, of reality intruding on the perfect bubble you've created. but even as you disentangle yourselves, even as soobin disappears into his attached bathroom and returns with a warm, damp washcloth to clean you both with gentle, careful hands, the intimacy doesn't break.
when you finally settle back into bed, both of you having pulled on fresh boxers, soobin immediately pulls you against his chest. he's warm and solid, and you can feel his heartbeat, still slightly elevated, against your cheek.
"so," you mumble against his skin. "worth interrupting your study session?"
soobin laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest.
"my biology textbook can wait. this was..." he pauses, and you feel him press a kiss to the top of your head. "this was the best kind of practical application."
you snort, elbowing him gently. "such a nerd."
the room falls into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes after moments of profound intimacy.
outside, the city continues its endless hum.
inside, in soobin's small, cluttered bedroom, there's just the two of you, wrapped up in each other, sated and sleepy and utterly, completely in love.
summary : Yeonjun wants you so desperately for some reason, even though you’ve rejected him already.
genre : loverboy!yeonjun x manhater(?) reader
warnings : kissing & cursing, I think that’s all:>>
a/n : I almost published smut out of this, but I replaced the scenes last second because I was too ashamed. Dude, bye
Choi Yeonjun knows it full well how difficult it is to light up a spot for himself inside your heart. After your last break up, you kept rejecting everyone right then and there — because you swore that if things went wrong with the same guy again for the fourth time, you’re never loving someone again.
Well, you did try to love other guys after the first and second; in the end? You led one on by accident because you were confused by whether you loved him or not, and the other treats you like absolutely bullshit. Since then, you sometimes break down by how guilty and hurt you feel — you wish you could just go back in time and punch your ex carelessly.
Anyways, today is going on as usual — you get ready to step onto the hell of a campus, go to your classes; except, you have a school assembly early in the morning because of some couple getting caught fucking behind the old building.
You sat on the floor beside your friend, and of course — Yeonjun chose to sit behind you, even though you’re in completely different class numbers. He taps on your shoulder lightly, whispering to you, “psst, Y/n!”
“Dude, what the fuck do you want?” You whisper back in frustration, turning your head to him. When you finally look at him, he hands you a box of chocolates. He pucks his lips, pouting at you cutely. You can’t lie to yourself, he may be annoying as hell, but he is attractive and makes your heart flutter sometimes — but you already rejected him, yet, he doesn’t take the hint. At all.
Well, he does know it already that you don’t like him back — he doesn’t want to give up though, and he never will. He’s the son of the most famous stylist in your country, rich and most of all; a model.
No one ever understood why he was going for someone as you. But that’s exactly the type he’s going for; someone that he can put his entire effort into and still being rejected despite his status.
He loves you because he knows that his sweet, small gestures makes your heart flutter and not the fact that he’s so perfect for a man in this time and age. Well, anyways… you furrow your eyebrows and take the box of chocolates shyly, giving him a glance before you spoke up. “Wh-... Why are you giving me these? It’s not Valentine’s day.” You spoke, slightly stuttering as your ears burned up a bit.
“Because I appreciate the way that you look so effortlessly beautiful every time that I look at you. It’s like I’m looking at a performer, so I decide to give something in return for the amazing result.” He replied.
“The-... The fuck? You’re spouting nonsense again.” You turn your back to him again, ignoring your classmates teasing you for the interaction. Yeonjun smiles at you sweetly, admiring your shyness.
As the school head gave his, “lecturing speech” to the students — you opened the box of chocolates, your mind rushing back to the time when Yeonjun fought with his bestfriend over you; Choi Soobin. Soobin had never been the type to fight back, especially to Yeonjun — that’s why he always clings to him, because he’s the cowardice type.
He grew up with the other side, so he can’t let go of their friendship that easily — because he wants to be that understanding friend that Yeonjun treats him in the same way. So, he came up with one resolution; to distance himself and not cause any more conflict between the two of them due to how badly everything turned out when they realized that they liked the same girl, which is obviously, you.
Just when your mind starts to linger more, the school head suddenly calls out, “Who is that student eating in the middle of an assembly? Does this look like lunch to you?” You flinch, freezing in embarrassment. Your friend taps you gently on the head, “not you, Y/n. That one guy from the other side’s fourth row.” He giggles.
The day eventually proceeds with Yeonjun pestering you as usual; he follows you around, acting like an unannounced boyfriend.
“What are you doing after class, Y/n? Wanna fuck?” He suggests casually, like it’s something normal to ask someone you’re not even dating, observing his nails meanwhile you — spit out your drink in shock. “Have you gone mad?” You softly yell, looking around the cafeteria to see if anyone heard. “I was joking, calm down.”
Yeonjun cracks up, laughing so similarly to his friend, Kai. “Look at me,” He spoke in that casual tone again and grabs your chin to move your gaze back towards him, “Let’s go out tomorrow, I’ll bring you to that one restaurant my father held a company dinner in.” You scoff and call his bluff, then swatted his hand away with a smirk. “Is this your way of asking me to a date or are you are just deliberately showing off your father’s corporate perks?”
“Both, maybe — I don’t know. Anyways... Yes or yes?” He leans closer and rests his crossed arms on the table, turning his head slightly as he met your gaze. You smile at him slightly and blink a few times before answering, “Yeah, sure. Whatever.” You poke his cheeks and grab them to tease him, scrunching your nose, “Ow, fuck! That hurts.” Yeonjun retorts in pain and makes you laugh.
You then stand up, “Let’s go now to our next class!” You grab his wrist and held it up high, he pulls away immediately. Just as you were about to call him out, he goes for your hand and holds it. Your cheeks flush a faint pink, looking away with a smile on your face and eyebrows furrowed. Your smile then drops when you remember your promise to yourself; don’t fall in love again. You pull out your poker face immediately, acting unfazed — you give his hand a platonic squeeze over a romantic one.
Today marks the day of your date with Yeonjun. You decided to wear a casual shirt with some jeans because that’s really all what you have inside your wardrobe as of now. When Yeonjun arrives at the function to pick you up, his outfit is nearly the same — just looking a bit more richer with some jersey shirt worn over his white shirt compared to yours for some reason.
You scoff at the gentleman before you, looking up at him up and down with a smirk on your face. “You look good, I guess...” You complimented him and lifted an eyebrow, then crossed your arms. Yeonjun smiles at you confidently and adjusts his shirt while staring at you directly to show off, “Let’s go, pretty.” He then said.
At the restaurant, you both eagerly waited at your table for food — “It doesn’t take this long, usually.” Yeonjun commented on the situation. You’ve been drinking water repeatedly out of impatience, it has been 23 minutes, to be exact. You can feel your bladder about to explode. “Uh, yeah... Yeonjun, I’ll go use the restroom real quick.” You excused yourself, he stares at you as you marched towards the women’s restroom — holding back his laughter. He did tell you not to drink too much water, after all.
When you finished and walked out of the restroom, you notice a familiar, tall figure — Soobin. Out of camaraderie, you tap him on the back, “Soobin!” you excitedly called out to him. He turns his attention to you right away. As soon as he does, you pull him in for a friendly embrace — making him hug you back. “Where have you been? It’s been three months.” you questioned him. “I study at home,” He replied, “I decided to only attend school during examinations.” He continued.
As you drifted through the conversation, Yeonjun watched from afar — your food set on the table. When you came back from the conversation, Yeonjun ate silently; almost ignoring your presence completely.
“I might have to leave early today, want me to drive you home?” Yeonjun suggested and broke the silence between you that he himself made, despite the stinging feeling piercing through his heart out of jealousy. “Yeah,” you answered.
Back inside the car, he sighed before asking. “Who were you with earlier in the restroom?” he continues your earlier conversation through a question, his tone casual and calm — hiding his emotions perfectly. “Ah, no one.” you attempted to lie, because you knew how things may turn out again.
The silence inside the car is heavy, thickening with each word Yeonjun is holding himself back from saying.
“No one,” he repeats, his tone soft yet firm at the same time like an official trying to stay calm. His grip on the steering wheel tightens as his eyes fixated on the road. The way he’s so calm is more unsettling than a yell.
He finally pulls up to the curb in front of your house, proceeding to shift his gaze — his expression is unreadable, yet his eyes are searching yours, almost as if looking for the honesty he knows is missing.
“That’s a long time to spend speaking with ‘no one’, Y/n,” he suspected. “Especially when they look tall enough to be spotted from the entire cafeteria.”
“I saw you talking to Soobin. Why would you hide that from me? I’m not trying to argue with you, y’know,” He clicks his tongue. “We’re not together, I know that — but that’s my friend I fought with over you.”
“Fuck, fine, I did talk to him. But I was not sneaking around at all — hop off it, dude.” you answer in frustration, yet with a hint of guilt lingering in your tone. “You hugged him, you refuse to do that with me,” he points out calmly at first.
“How will I fucking hop off of that so easily when you can’t do that with me at all, the one that’s been around you more this entire time?” He breaks. “Because with him, it’s simple!” You snap back, the guilt finally sharpening into a defense mechanism. “There’s no fucking history of fistfights and 'unreadable' stares with him. I hugged him because he looked like he was losing his best friend.” You continued your words with hesitancy. “With him, a hug is just a hug. With you, I’m scared that if I touch you, I won’t be able to pretend that we’re not together anymore. I’m not hiding him from you, I’m hiding US from myself. It’s absolutely stupid because I’m doing all this too in order not to fall in love again, especially with fuckboys like you.”
“Oh, really?” Yeonjun questions your words with a smirk on his face, almost not believing you. “So you do like me? It’s just that you’re in denial?” He spoke, his tone showing a small hint of sarcasm. “Fuck it, yes!” You answered with frustration showing on your entire face.
“You’re an asshole sometimes.”
“What—?” Before you can even process those four words, he pushes you down and pins your wrists above your head, leaving you completely fazed and frozen in place.
He starts to give you sloppy kisses on your neck, he forgets all about giving you time to think, the kisses he’s pressing on your neck wet, affectionate, and erotic all at the same time, driven by an urgency that borders to be feverish.
You don’t fight back at all and instead of pushing him away — you act on the instinct your brain has yet to approve, breaking your wrists free only to pull him away from your neck to kiss him on the mouth.
“You’re unpredictable as shit.” you pull away for a second to comment on his behaviour. “Outta the blue, I know... But, so are you.” he answers with a lopsided smirk tugging on his lips.
He crashes back in immediately and kisses you back with renewed eagerness, the car filled with soft whimpers and wet sounds of your lips crashing against one another.
The collision is messy and intense, giving the two barely any time to catch your breath. Every time that you think he’s slowing down, he shifts his weight, deepening the pressure until your head is spinning.
For four agonizingly, high-voltage minutes, the rest of the world ceases to exist for the both of you — despite the fact that the car is so obviously shaking. He then finally pulls away from you — resting his forehead on yours before giving you a small kiss on the cheek then smiling down at you.
“Damn,” He commented, “You’re messy, y’know?” He laughs at you teasingly.
MY THIRD CHILD JUST REACHED A HUNDRED LIKES! 😍😍 (First time) I LOVE Y’ALL TYSM, my writing feels much more appreciated on this app! 🫶🫶 This absolutely motivated me to write more in the future, I love being an author.
and not in the sense that everyone hates to be around him, because he’s actually fun, he promises! but sober beomgyu’s feelings are heightened when he’s drunk and he goes from a little bit needy to a lovesick puppy who always needs to touch you, and it’s a weakness that people love to tease him for but he doesn’t really care!
you love him, but drunk!beomgyu really is awful. it sounds cute and sweet to have someone dote on you and you do find it cute and sweet! but what you didn’t find cute or sweet was a lovesick needy boyfriend who followed you to the bathroom!
“you’re so pretty,” beomgyu coo’s and his hand won’t leave your face alone, you’ve swiped it away a few times but he always comes back, so you stopped, “have i ever told you that before?”
“you have… several times tonight in-fact,” you replied and beomgyu grins, “i’m just trying to piss, gyu.”
“m’not stopping you,” his hands found their way into your hair and he hums, “so soft.”
you huffed and grabbed his hand, entwining your fingers, “just hold my hand for now, okay?”
“m’kay... i love you.”
“i love you too, even though you’re a pain.”
he really is a pain!
and god, another time you didn’t go out with beomgyu because you weren’t feeling up for a night out, when he came back home, he was acting as if you’d both had been separated for months! he wouldn’t leave you alone, as soon as he stumbled through the door he went straight into your bedroom.
you were in bed, hair pulled back, dressed in your nightwear—beomgyu’s shirt— and a book in your hands. he wore a big toothy grin and he clumsily stripped down into his underwear before climbing into bed and embracing you.
your book was long forgotten as his arms were around you and he was showering you in kisses.
“missed you,” he hums and barely takes a breath until he had kissed every inch of your face and neck.
“you were gone three hours,” a smile plays on your lips as he pulls away.
“three long hours without my lovie,” he says and undoes your hair letting the loose strands fall, “m’so tired.”
you flick the lamp off and you both lay in bed with his head on your chest as you play with his hair, “three hours was too long.. you’re never leaving me for that long again.”
“i don’t think i could ever leave you, beommie,” you laugh and beomgyu smiles to himself, “i think you’ve got me for life.”
so yeah... you could downplay it as much as you wanted and you could definitely act annoyed, but during those sweet moments, you thought maybe drunk!beomgyu wasn’t so awful after all.
that was, until of course, you both went out together again and he did the exact same thing. then yeah, drunk!beomgyu was awful.
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