Bananas are the Key to Fun

I often come up with stupid jokes and one liners when nodoby else is around, and in my mind it always sounds like comedic gold. So naturally I'm assuming that it is exactly that, and decided to share with you lucky people!

[moe-is-idiot]

I wonder how many calories seagulls burn when they fly... They always seem so toned and muscular.

[moe-is-idiot]

That magic moment when you put the correct change into a vending machine and all the colours light up. Ahhhhh

[moe-is-idiot]

At the gym I can only bench press about 80 kg, and when I look around it’s not much compared to others and then I start feeling down. But then I try to put it into perspective - if I was lifting 80kg of new born babies, that’s like 22.8 new born bubs. That’s a pretty good effort. I could be handy in a maternity ward.

[moe-is-idiot]

This is what summer is like here in Australia

[moe-is-idiot]

So apparently when we lose weight the majority of the fat leaves our bodies via the carbon-dioxide we breathe out...

Based on these facts I will be moving to the rainforest in hope that the trees will literally breathe in my fat and make me skinny.

[moe-is-idiot]

Almost tore a bicep carrying all the groceries up the stairs; because 2 trips are for pussies..... and lazy people, like me.

[furyborne]

Soooo… Who are a dyslexic zombie’s favorite people?…

*whispers* Brians.

[moe-is-idiot]

Downing cold & flu tablets with a chocolate thickshake, cause that's how I roll

[moe-is-idiot]

Combing my leg hairs with my phone while i wait to get my hair cut

[moe-is-idiot]

Don't you hate it when make yourself an icy cup of milk and one of the ice-cubes explodes in your nose as you're taking a sip?

[moe-is-idiot]

I always wondered why people used the term "I'm coming into some money"... and then it hit me - If I was rich, I'd be jizzing all over one hundred dollar bills too!

[moe-is-idiot]

…Friday is Thai day…

*proceeds to shove 5 spring rolls into mouth*

[moe-is-idiot]

That heartbreaking moment when you spend 5mins unwrapping a lollipop then it slips out of your fingers and straight in to the bin :( :( :(

[moe-is-idiot]

Baby, I hope you've got snuggle insurance 'cos I'm about to file a claim.

Homer Simpson

[moe-is-idiot]

Why do people always say "oh, it's raining outside"?

When is it ever raining inside, or anywhere else?

[moe-is-idiot]

I can't stop stroking my beard mmmmm goooood

[moe-is-idiot]

- Jumbo pack of Snickers Pods - Check - 3 hour long movie - Check - Blanket - Check Lets this get this show started