I was tagged by the lovely @cheerscoops to post GIFs from 10 of my favourite TV shows without naming them... And I have some overlaps (including one of their GIFs also being my favourite moment from that show!)
No pressure tags to repost for @jenniebellie @sloelimbs @inadequate-all-along @hansodax @monfivela @kitsuneudon743 @silverywolf14 @clumsybookworm18 @ssmhhh @rowan-555 and anyone else who wants to join in!!
i love how lockwood stopped that agent from beating the night watch kid but then a minute later he was trying to stuff the kid in a coffin to get information out of him
(Put down your pitchforks. This is not what you think.)
Let’s get one thing out of the way: When I say “a misunderstood love,” I don’t mean we misunderstood it. Oh no, no. I mean the writers misunderstood it. Horrifically. Tragedy-of-Shakespearean-proportions misunderstood it.
And before you do what the internet does best and rages before reading the fine print, I absolutely do NOT ship Five and Lila. The exact opposite actually.
I'm posting this almost a full year after The Umbrella Academy Season 4 dropped. Why? I needed the distance. I needed the bile in my throat to settle. I needed the residual nausea from watching Five and Lila kiss to dull so I could return—not as a fangirl armed with rage, but as a critic armed with... well, still rage, but also analysis.
The Core of the Catastrophe
Steve Blackman (yes, we’re naming names) apparently said that Five needed a love interest. Because everyone else got one. But rather than introducing a new character or letting Five remain, y’know, the chronically traumatized asexual-coded soul of the show, they just said:
"Screw arcs. Let’s make it Lila. No one will mind."
Spoiler alert: We minded.
It felt like the writers saw some chaotic banter and trauma parallels and went, “Chemistry? Must be romantic!” As if every deep bond must end in a kiss. As if trauma bonding = sex. As if Lila’s entire arc with Diego meant nothing.
Romantic, Platonic, Familial: Learn the Damn Difference
Here’s a little cheat sheet for writers:
Romantic Love: Desire + intimacy. Often physical. Built over time.
Platonic Love: Deep friendship. Emotional intimacy, zero desire.
Familial Love: Built through shared experiences and protection. Chosen or blood.
Five and Lila? Found-family trauma buddies. Broken mirror versions of each other. Chaotic besties. Not lovers.
They weren’t building a relationship—they were building trust.
How It Should Have Gone
Season 2: Understanding. They recognize each other's pain.
Season 3: Forgiveness. Lila forgives Five for killing her parents. Five forgives himself.
Season 4: Acceptance. Lila becomes part of Five's found family. His sister in every way that matters.
The emotional payoff? Five—who doesn’t do hugs, who doesn’t do people—would finally tell someone: You belong here.
But instead we got...
The Actual Plot, or: Why My Brain Screamed
Five and Lila get stuck in a subway and... fall in love?
Diego and Lila's entire arc discarded?
Five, who canonically said “I don’t do hugs,” now does forehead kisses?
What were they thinking?
Answer: Fanservice. Or worse, they genuinely misunderstood.
The Fan Fetishism Problem
Let’s talk about the gross elephant in the room. Aidan Gallagher turned 20. Five’s body turned 20. Suddenly he’s in romantic scenes.
Coincidence? Doubtful.
In Season 3, when he kissed Delores, they green-screened it because Aidan was still a minor. But the moment he ages up, we get forced intimacy with Lila? It reeks of showrunners thinking:
“The fans want to thirst. Let’s give them romance.”
But here’s the thing:
We weren’t asking for romance. Some of us found solace in Five not having one. Especially asexual viewers. Even people who crushed on Five didn’t need it to be canon. He was compelling without it.
The "Healing = Romance" Lie
This is bigger than Umbrella Academy.
This is about a toxic media trend that says:
“If you’re hurt, you need love. If you’re broken, find someone to fix you.”
No. People with trauma don’t need romance to heal.
Sometimes they need family. Or solitude. Or therapy. Or a dimension-hopping mannequin.
The Fallout: Character Assassination Double Homicide
Five and Lila were fan favorites. Then Season 4 turned them into... whatever that was.
Five’s arc was about existential acceptance. Not kissing girls in train stations.
Lila’s arc was about finding peace in chaos. Not chasing another man.
Five blessing Diego and Lila? That was beautiful. Subtle. Earned.
But instead, we got a love triangle no one asked for.
What Could Have Been
Lila and Five could have been the perfect representation of platonic love born from chaos. Two broken kids realizing they didn’t need to fix each other—they just needed to be seen.
Lila: finally finding identity not through mimicry, but belonging.
Five: finally letting someone in who wasn't perfect, but present.
That’s love. Not romantic. Not sexual. Just human.
And the tragedy is: they were almost there.
TL;DR (But You Should Still Read It)
Five didn’t need a love interest. He needed closure.
Lila deserved better than a rerouted CW subplot.
Romance isn’t the only way to show love.
Fanservice is not character development.
Writers: Stop mistaking chemistry for sexual tension.
So yeah. "Lila and Five: A Misunderstood Love." Not because we misunderstood them.
Because the writers did.
And frankly, it still makes me want to yell at Steve Blackman.
As an actor and writer, I find it so funny how actors will say stuff about “taking care of” their character and respecting them meanwhile writers are like “beat that bitch into the ground.”
I have squeezed every art skill from myself to finish this, and I hope you enjoy it!🖤 Let our fandom stay alive while we waiting for updates on the series
I love how in Lockwood & Co, 90% of the characters are arguably unhinged becuase of trauma. But George? Not him. That's organic, homegrown, cruelty-free unhinged behavior right there. His family is canonically alive and incredibly normal, he's just Like That.
Something about Lockwood and George being so different, but they’re best friends, they started an agency together, Lockwood handles business and George cooks, Lockwood jumps headfirst into things, George is the best researcher in the business. They would die for each other, they act like they’re just casual roommates.
ellievsbear
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
