Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

Love Begins
No title available
Sweet Seals For You, Always

No title available
Cosimo Galluzzi

PR's Tumblrdome

tannertan36

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
todays bird
noise dept.

pixel skylines
almost home
cherry valley forever

★
The Stonewall Inn
No title available

Kiana Khansmith
Stranger Things

bliss lane
seen from Canada

seen from Uruguay
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from Australia
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Saudi Arabia
@mollyteter
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
Got some Grade A Senshi propaganda right he- OH GOD OH NO
Senshi... I'm so sorry oh my god I dont know what happened or where that water bucket came from jesus christ all mighty
GO VOTE
💬 2258 🔁 10096 ❤️ 15264 · Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
This is very stupid but it’s genuinely what I think about every time I consider skipping dinner after work
Edit: legit did not realize that senshis fighting for his life in the sexyman polls but I’m very happy to be spreading pro senshi propaganda
okay, for those interested, here is a full timeline of how we got to Count Binface:
1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader
(Pictured: Darth Vader)
1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)
1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.
(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)
To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)
1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)
2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.
He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)
2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)
2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)
Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.
(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)
He has a point.
2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.
2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.
May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)
July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)
June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.
(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)
July 2026 (this week): Count Binface announces his intention to run against Nigel Farage in the upcoming Clacton by-election. He is briefly the only other candidate in the race and by the time other candidates announce themselves the narrative of 'Nigel Farage vs Count Binface' has already bedded in. And then it was now, and then I don't know what happened.
finally done with roombox I think
now just gotta figure out printing
the scariest flag you can see in england is the english flag, because it means the owners are either racist or - worse - football fans
being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.
being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.
The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling
The lion will never financially recover from this
you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.
lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.
but have you ever even heard of the fynbos biome ?!!?!?!?!
a biome so unique in south africa that it's earned an entirely new biome classification for itself. so many plants are endemic to this area, and ofc it's under threat of extinction.
It's a wonderful place! I had the privilege of visiting the fynbos last year and it was as amazing as these photos show and more!
@elodieunderglass
Such lovely colours, thank you!
(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information
✴︎ BETRAYED STRAYS ✴︎
Witch: Ah, so you've come to me.
Maiden: Yes. I need your help.
Witch: Unwanted baby?
Maiden: No?
Witch: Want someone dead?
Maiden: What? Of course not.
Witch: That's all I know how to do. What do you need?
Maiden: I'm starting to see why you were shunned from the village.
Witch: Yes, I've killed a lot of people. What do you need?
Maiden: There's a pox in the village.
Witch: It wasn't me this time.
Maiden: I know. Can you fix it or not?
Witch: No. I'm not licensed for that.
Maiden: What do you mean you're not licensed for that?
Witch: I got kicked out of the herbalist's coven.
Maiden: For killing people?
Witch: For killing people.
Maiden: Great, now what do I do? There isn't another witch for at least three towns over.
Witch: And he's an enchanter blacksmith type. Makes protective amulets and beefs up swords. Makes really good horseshoes. Can't fix poxes. Makes a mean rabbit stew though. And...
Maiden: And is very good at sex and hard to kill, yes everyone knows that. You tell us repeatedly. Even though we kicked you out.
Witch: It's important. How are you not dead yet, by the way? You're an adult and you haven't bought anything yet so you should be dead by now.
Maiden: I'm not into people that way. Your weird sex based spells don't work on me. That's why I'm the one that came.
Witch: I would branch out but I'm barred from taking more classes at the guild. Because of the murder.
Maiden: Right, well I'm gonna go before you poison me.
Witch: What about the pox?
Maiden: I do have a mild form of it so you've been exposed too. Someone of your age is much more likely to die from it.
Witch: What?
Maiden: I'd suggest you find an accredited friend that hasn't been convicted of unnecessary murder.
Maiden: I have come a long way to find you.
Enchanter: One second. (throws a sword over his shoulder where it crashes into several metal tools and starts glowing)
Enchanter: Okay, what do you need?
Maiden: There's a pox in my town.
Enchanter: (pulls an amulet out of his pocket and holds it over her head)
Enchanter: You don't seem to have it, but it's touched you.
Maiden: I got better. Can you help?
Enchanter: I enchant swords. Why are you visiting me?
Maiden: Because the only witch in our town is...
Enchanter: Wait, don't tell me. Are you from Ravenfalls?
Maiden: Yeah.
Enchanter: Tabatha. Of course. That quack.
Maiden: She only kills people and does abortions.
Enchanter: Oh no she doesn't do abortions. She just drowns babies. I don't even think she knows what a fetus is.
Maiden: Oh.
Enchanter: Yeah. Terrible cook too. Normally herbalists are pretty good at cooking but she's just...
Maiden: The worst. I know. Do you at least know who can help? All of our elders and babies are dropping off like flies. People are strapping chickens to their arms. It's a mess.
Enchanter: (clicks tongue a few times) The nearest guy that specializes in pox is in the mountains. Not the coast range but the big angry looking pointy ones to the east. What were those called again?
Maiden: The Death Mountains?
Enchanter: Yeah, those. Unfortunate name, really. They're almost tolerable in the spring and summer. Don't know why they live there though.
Maiden: Can you teleport me there?
Enchanter: Why do people always ask that? Look I don't know what you've been hearing from Tabatha or traveling merchants but that's not safe for living creatures.
Maiden: Then what do I do? By the time I get back half the population will either be dead or still have birds strapped to their arms.
Enchanter: I hate to suggest this but you could like... with a shapeshifting dragon? And then ask for a wish?
Maiden: I'm not into people or dragons that way.
Enchanter: Then I guess I'll see if I can do something for your horse's shoes but that won't be nearly as fast.
Maiden: I have...
Herbalist: Come a very long way to see me. I know.
Maiden: How did you...
Herbalist: Everyone says that. Come sit. Do you like tea?
Maiden: I don't have time for tea. My village has a pox.
Herbalist: Which pox?
Maiden: It's mostly affecting older people and it's... purple.
Herbalist: Oh. What shade of purple?
Maiden: Very bright.
Herbalist: Oh, that's not a pox. That's a curse. Or a curse mixed with a usually just annoying pox. Someone in your area has probably pissed someone off.
Maiden: I'm from Ravenfalls.
Herbalist: In that case I think we can both guess who brought forth someone's ire. Who created it though, still remains a mystery. In any case, you can buy this bag of weeds and instruct people to boil them in small batches and inhale the steam. It won't cure anything, but it will most likely help people breathe better, which may help them survive long enough to fight it off.
Maiden: What do I do about Tabatha and the people strapping chickens to their arms?
Herbalist: My dear, some things can't be fixed completely. Plant this all over your town though and Tabatha will most likely avoid you. You can have these for free.
Maiden: I'm not going to bring some magic plant into town unless I know what it is.
Herbalist: Oh, it's not very magic. It's a cedar tree I've enchanted to grow very quickly. She's deathly allergic to cedar wood and pollen.
Maiden: Oh.
Herbalist: I really can't do anything for the chickens though. People will do strange things when they're desperate.
Maiden: Will I ever know who cursed us?
Herbalist: You may or may not. Wile you're here though, would you care to buy a love potion?
Maiden: I'm not into people that way.
Herbalist: You wouldn't fit in at the witches guild then. That's why most of us go in. It's a very good profession for swingers.
Maiden: That's why I went into city government. Well, thank you for all that.
Herbalist: And thank you for visiting. Tell the enchanter that I said hi and tell Tabatha to take a hike for me.
Maiden: I will. You have my word on that.
Enchanter: Hello.
Maiden: Enchanter? What are you doing here?
Enchanter: My name is John.
Maiden: It feels weird to call you that. You're the magic blacksmith I met on my quest.
Enchanter: I understand. So do you know who I'd talk to about renting a lot here?
Maiden: For what purpose? Oh, right. Me. Talk to me about it. I manage Lord Raven's lots and do logging and hunting permits and collect rent and whatnot
Enchanter: I want to set up my shop here. Business is better here for weapons and ever since she moved out, well...
Maiden: Was she after you?
Enchanter: She was under the impression that we were still married.
Maiden: Yes, she definitely was. Well, I think I can set you up. The village will benefit from having a reputable witch nearby. I'll get you in contact with a carpenter and scout out a spot for you.
Enchanter: Wait, I have something for you.
Maiden: An amulet?
Enchanter: For keeping away unwanted romantic advances.
Maiden: (covers her mouth and starts crying just a little bit)
Maiden: Sir, I can't...
Enchanter: You drove away a person that made my life a living hell for years. You saved your town. You drove out a murderer. You went into the Death Mountains in the middle of the winter. Take it.
Maiden: (takes it) John, did I ever tell you when we met that I desperately wanted to become friends with you?
Enchanter: No, but once I'm moved in I think we can give it a try.
Maiden: I'll get the paperwork and meet you at the tavern. Dinner's on me.
I'm so happy whenever people know exactly where I was going with something.
I’m a fiction writer and tumblr is where I put my ideas that are too stupid to try and publish or don’t give me enough inspiration to fully flesh out. I’m this weird all the time. This one just happened to get some attention.
apprentice uniform for brushbuddy too so they dont feel left out
Fanmade Witch Hat Atelier spells come in two flavours
Magic air fryer
This is why magic is a trade secret
A Kugelblitz is type of black hole formed by concetrating a sufficiently high concentration of light, heat, or radiation into a given space to form an event horizon
this is what healthcare is like as a disabled person