New Beginnings!

Come and follow me as I embark in this new chapter in my life! I'm a newly single-mom navigating through everyday life. Whether its trying to keep up with my kids busy schedule or trying to maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship with their dad. Just a mom trying to survive everyday life all while making happy memories with my kids!

[mom-survival]

It’s been a minute…

As I sit here while my kids are napping I decided to make a post and recap on a few things that have happened since the last time I posted.

Let’s see, I passed my summer classes with A’s ! Which was a big accomplishment for me since I’m in this weird phase in my life. Almost 30, newly divorced and working full time while trying to figure out what I want to do for myself and my kids. I also recently stated my fall term! So far the class work load is balancing out with my working schedule along with being a full time mom. Don’t get my wrong it gets hectic at times especially when the kids dad schedule changes. I thought that by getting a divorce I would be able to provide our kids with a more set schedule and routine but military affects everyone.

As far as co-parenting goes it could be way better. Recently we hit a weird spot. I have to remind myself that although being friends sounds nice I no longer have an obligation to him. He’s just solely the father to my kids and nothing more. Sounds harsh I know but if you only knew what he put me through in the last 10 years.

Its September now and my only goal is to make more fun memories with my kids and enjoy the rest of the year with them. Im excited for the fair, Halloween, pumpkin patches and thanksgiving and Christmas!

[mom-survival]

10 posts!

[mom-survival]

It's that time again!

We shopped 'til we dropped on Saturday !

This past Saturday me and the kids went back to school shopping in Columbia and it was an all day thing. To be honest I was dreading it! Shopping with two kids is not fun especially when one of them is an infant and the other gets overstimulated in crowded places.

So walking into this I was already expecting the worst ! But surprisingly they both did so good! We went to Old Navy and Target! And at both places Abbi was calm and even tried on clothes in the dressing rooms for me to see if they fit! And of course Jac was along for the ride haha! I kept telling Abbi throughout the day how proud I was of her and how well she was doing.

We ended the day with Chic-fil-A for dinner and by the end of the night we were all ready for bed! I'm glad we got that out of the way and now we anxiously wait for the first day of school!

[mom-survival]

6 year difference...

Lately I've been just thinking back and reflecting on my life. I look at my kids as they're running around the house and see how happy they are and it just fills my heart with so much joy.

Abbi just turned 7 year old this and to be honest I never thought she would have any siblings. And I had given up hope that I would have another baby due to my martial problems. But unexpectedly Jac came into our lives and brought so much happiness when we needed it the most for both my now ex-husband and I.

I cant imagine life without Jac and Abbi. And seeing them together is just the best thing. Jac gets so excited and happy to be doing all the things his sister does around the house. Of course after a while it starts to annoy Abbi, haha. Just like any other typical brother and sister relationship.

I cant wait to continue to watch them grow up together and see how their bond grows.

[mom-survival]

Its been a year already...

It's been a whole year since my now ex-husband and I separated. It's crazy how much my life has changed this past year. If you would have told me that I would be a single mom of two I would have laughed and called you crazy! We were married for 9 years and had made a life together. But life happened and before I knew it I was faced with one of the hardest decisions; to either fight for my marriage or come to the realization that my partner wasn’t going to change.

But at that point in my life I was tired. I was both mentally exhausted and physically exhausted from taking care of a newborn and a 6 year old with Autism, on top of the cooking and cleaning that needed to be done in the house. I knew it was time to let go. Letting go of all the "hopes" and "dreams" I had of having an emotionally supportive partner and a family. So I started to build a life for myself and my kids.

Don't get me wrong I'm still exhausted, but I feel at peace. Like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My focus and priority are my kids. Making sure my kids are happy and healthy. And now I actually have time to put into myself as well. I can go to the gym after work on the days that the kids are with their dad. I can also go to the grocery store alone as well. i know its silly but something so simple.

So here's to the future! Hopefully I can look back again next year and see how much more I've accomplished and how far I've come.

[mom-survival]

Sometimes I forget..

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am.

As most of you know my daughter Abigail (Abbi) has Autism. And ever since her dad and I got the her diagnoses earlier this year, its been a tough. She just turned 7 years old in June, but her little mind still hasn't caught up to her body and is that of a 5 year old.

Sometimes I cry at night, when she's fast asleep because I know she's had a hard day. Not being able to communicate with the world like the other 7 year old's around her and in her daycare class. And with her speech delay its even harder for her to communicate with others.

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to be her mom. Although Abbi can't communicate like other 7 year old's and has Autism, she still teaches me how to be patient and how to understand her when others cant. She's such a smart, independent, caring, loving and beautiful little girl. She's my daughter and I'm lucky to be her mom.

[mom-survival]

Let talk about it...

Lately I've been in such a funk. where, I've been feeling sad and alone.

I'm about to be 30, recently divorced and I'm starting over. Literally starting over in my 30's. With working full-time, going to school part-time, on top of being a mom to two beautiful children my life is pretty busy and hectic at times. So much has changed in the past year that sometimes I forget how far I've come.

But when my kids are sleeping peacefully in their beds, I can see and I can feel that all those hard decisions were well worth it. Of course, it makes me sad and angry at times, that my kids are growing up in two separate households but then I think about how I was already doing all the morning routines, pick ups and drops offs from school/daycare, doctors appointments and nighttime routines all by myself and how that made me feel 10x as lonely and sad.

It can get so overwhelming, especially when I feel like I'm doing so much and I don't have a partner there in that moment to help. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it it the end. That soon I wont feel as alone and overwhelmed. One day at a time has become my life motto.

[mom-survival]

FINALLY!

After YEARS of wanting a swing set for my daughter Abbi, in our backyard, I finally did it. Me. All by myself! I bought it during Amazon's Prime day sale and waited for it to be shipped! Once it arrived I started putting it together. It may have taken my 2 hours to build but I did it!

I always knew I wanted to give my kids all the things I never had growing up. And this was was of those things. As I'm typing this I can't help but get a little emotional because of I never imagined being able to do these things for my kids alone. And now that I'm divorced, I take time celebrate every milestone because it's much more meaningful to me. Something so simple as a swing set and watching my kids get so excited to have it in our backyard, just gave me such a big sense of accomplishment. I felt in that moment that I was doing something right. That all of my struggles are worth it, just to see my children growing in a happy home.

And now we continue to add to our summer memories this year!

[mom-survival]

Sunday Pool Day!

Its finally July and its HOT!

My kids love any water related activity especially during the summer! So this past Sunday afternoon I got my kids ready for the pool. My daughter picked out her favorite swim suit and loaded her floaty and pool toys into the car. I also packed some of their favorite snacks and water and we were off!

The nice thing about being a military family is the benefits there are for families. One of them is being able to enjoy a very hot afternoon in the pool on Shaw AFB! We spent about 4 hours at the pool and it was worth it. My kids had fun and made some summer memories plus they were exhausted by the time we got got dinner went home! And that a win for this mom! After dinner I gave them a much needed bath and they were both ready for bed.

So if you're looking for a fun summer activity look into your local community pool and take your kids!

[mom-survival]

Mom-Cation ( alone time)

Who doesn't love a beach vacation?! Especially when it comes after the end of a long term relationship (marriage) and you just need to get away even if its just for a couple of days.

This past 4th of July weekend I packed my suitcase and drove down to visit my best friend Makaila in Navarre,Florida. It was perfect timing too since the kids were spending the holiday weekend with their dad. Plus, I hadn't seen my best friend since last year, when I visited her at the beginning of my divorce journey.

I was so excited to see my best friend and just relax by the beach like we did before I had kids. We definitely took advantage of my time there. We spent the days at the beach, soaking up the Florida sun, we went paddle boarding and we also did some new and exciting things!

We booked a dolphin and snorkeling cruise with Beach Weekend in Fort Walton Beach. And let me tell you that was so much fun! Another thing that we did was rent out a pontoon boat with a couple of friends in the area and headed to Crab Island in Destin. I've always wanted to go to Crab Island when I lived in Crestview, FL but I never got the chance too. Its always fun and refreshing to be out with your friends creating new memories.

All in all this was such fun vacation. A much needed reset for me. I was sad to leave but I was also excited to pick up my kids and just be home!

[mom-survival]

Declutter your home and let go!

Yard sale any one? I’d be lying if I said I haven’t accumulated things over the years. Random decor, clothes in my closet that I never wore, some of my kids clothes that they’ve also out grew, and even toys! So I figured it was time to go through my whole house and start the process. And what perfect time when you’re going through a divorce?!

So while my now ex-husband was deployed I started going through each room in the house and going through my things. I started making piles of clothes that either didn’t fit me anymore or that I haven’t worn in the last year. And let me tell you, that was a long process BUT after I saw how much I had that I was holding on to and ready to let go it just gave me such a peaceful feeling. I knew I was making the right decision.

So I continued that process with each room and eventually moved all my piles to the garage. Until I had a big enough pile to be able to have a yard sale with my friend. We bought signs and posted the yard sale in our local Facebook group which helped get us a lot of traction!

The day of the yard sale we set up and we’re out by 9am. And people slowly kept coming and the yard sale was a success! We made some pretty good deals and meet out goal which was to sell as many things as possible!

At the end of the day I went home with a couple of things, mostly clothes that I plan on donating to our Airman’s Attic on base. I felt like I could breathe once I was home! Seeing my home and it not feeling cluttered with old memories and just things that no longer had a place in my new/now life just made me feel so at peace. So what things are you holding on to?

[mom-survival]

Here’s to growing and new opportunities!

For the longest time I was scared of starting over. I mean who isn’t?! I’ve gotten so comfortable with how things were in my life and marriage even if I didn’t like them. That the idea of having to start over scared me! Especially since I was a stay at home mom for years and the only job experience I had was working retail.

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I may have not known why at the time last year, when I was only a couple months postpartum from having my son. But a year later now, I can look back and say with confidence that I’m where I supposed to be in life. I have a great job, I recently started college and working towards my business degree, and I have two happy healthy kids. All the “what ifs” and fears I had last year walking into a separation knowing that ultimately would end in divorce are not as loud in my head. And now are feelings of excitement and feeling proud of myself for how far I’ve come in just one year!

There’s a quote I’ve recently heard a couple of weeks ago from a work convention, one of the speakers said “get comfortable being uncomfortable “ That really stuck with me. There’s no growth in a state of mind that’s been “stagnant “ for so long.

So I’ll end this with a question, How many opportunities have you missed or simply passed up because either the situation wasn’t ideal or it scared you or even the process of being better made you uncomfortable?