Life As A MomMomMom Of 3

How 1 mom deals!!!

[mommommomof3]

Mommy Shaming

So...I'm part of a breastfeeding support group on social media. I have found this group very supportive and useful. An issue arose for a member about being at a park that had teenagers blocking the playground areas for the little ones. She asked what to do, well, I put in my two cents. I made a comment as to asking them nicely to leave, and then using the police even going as far as reporting illegal things or act like you're calling the police and to remind the teenagers that the police will believe an adult over them. I don't remember my exact words. I was immediately mommy judged and shamed. Now my two cents was a little harsh and obviously (because it was) could've been taken the wrong way. Now I don't get into social media battles with anyone, I don't have the energy to fight with people I don't know about things that aren't happening to me or around me. I'll admit, it probably would've been better if I had just shut up. But I put in my two cents because I used to be a punk teenager that would take over the children's playground. I also know that punk teenagers have been damaging my child's school. And sometimes they have to be handled differently. But I should've just kept my mouth shut because apparently I riled quite a few feathers. It very quickly turned ugly. I was called pathetic, disgusting, a bully, etc. I don't usually care what people think especially people I don't know or care to know but I got heated. I was ready to flip, I was ready to unjoin the group all over a few peoples insensitive comments without even trying to speak with me without being mean and cruel. I even apologized and was told not to back peddle. I literally had to delete the post. I'm still worked up about it. It's more upsetting that the same people who were calling me a bully, disgusting, and pathetic were quite literally bullying me in a disgusting and pathetic way. All over a comment that has no effect on their lives whatsoever. And honestly, the comment was more of a joke than anything but I guess because I didn't add LOL to it then it's ok to bully and torment another mom in an online support group. What the hell moms? We're all just trying to get through the damn day within our lives and our families. This is has been really eye opening for me. It's a mommy breastfeeding support group and today the comments that were made still make me want to cry. I try and revisit things when I feel that I hold some responsibility with things that happen when I get heated. Obviously, my comment was taken way too seriously but to literally bully and shame another mother to the point of tears over something as trivial as a comment on social media that has absolutely no effect on them whatsoever is downright disgusting. I feel so sorry for the women who make mistakes and have to deal with this. And it's everywhere, now with social media being at our fingertips 24/7, there is no filter, there is no time to process what is said and how to respond before the claws come out. The sad part is that now I don't want to comment on anything else for fear of being mommy shamed and this was a group that I loved being part of. Like I said earlier, we're all moms just trying to get through the day, and now this mom is feeling like crying. We should be supporting each other, not making each other feel like the scum of the planet. If I had seen my comment, I would've laughed and clicked like, not make someone feel so horrible that she doesn't want to be part of a group that has been instrumental in getting through the last four months with three kids, a mom going through breast cancer and chemo, and a husband who can't be home because he drives truck. Maybe I shouldn't have made the comment, but maybe I shouldn't have been so harshly shamed for making a comment, especially when the comment didn't affect anyone. I feel so sorry for the parents that make mistakes that get so publicized and will probably have to deal with this crap for years. To the moms who took me so seriously, I apologize for my comment and to the other moms who get mommy shamed for crap like this, I apologize to you too. You have a supporter in me.

[mommommomof3]

Using My Words Against Me

So, I told my oldest daughter we needed to clean up the living room, she says that I have to help her. Of course, I'm quick to point out that it's all hers and her sisters stuff on the floor. She looks around, doesn't really see anything of mine, stops and thinks for a minute, then the little smart ass turns around, and goes well technically you've said that whatever is mine is technically yours since you bought it, so you still have to help. Well shit, she's right. Luckily this household is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship and I'm the dictator. Now get to cleaning.

[mommommomof3]

Oh the messes they make when mommy is trying to follow her creative dreams!!!

[mommommomof3]

WTH Postpartum Hormones?!?

That totally irrational moment when you're on hold with the hospital because your mother is having a minor outpatient surgery today and while you're on hold, you imagine that everything went horribly wrong and it literally puts you in tears. So, I'm 16 weeks postpartum and although a little more leveled out, I'm also bipolar and not medicated due to still nursing my son. My mother had to have a minor outpatient surgery this morning. She said the surgery should take about an hour so it's been an hour and I called them. While on hold my overactive, very vivid imagination completely played out God only knows how many scenes that resemble Grays Anatomy. You know the one where the incredibly hot doctor gets distracted by his incredibly hot love interest/mistress and screws up something simple and the patient doesn't make it. Hey, I remember that episode or episodes, I watched those for eight hours yesterday, thank goodness for binge watching Grays Anatomy on the lifetime channel. For the maybe two minutes I was on hold, this completely played out and I just sat there imagining all of this to the point of tears until the lady came back on the phone to say that she is still in surgery and to call back in an hour. Seriously, still in surgery, they said it would only take an hour, great, now I get to go back to playing out in my head all the Grays Anatomy episodes where something like that happens. And of course, I can't be at the hospital because of my charming children and no babysitter. Now we get to sit and wait until my mothers incredibly hot doctor gets done and I know my mother is okay, well at least I have crappy diapers and The Wonder Pets to distract me momentarily. Let's just pray that her incredibly hot doctor doesn't have a mistress in surgery with him that will distract him so he screws up.

[mommommomof3]

How to get your kids attention! Act like you’re writing a blog post, and the spawn will be up your ass.

[mommommomof3]

Longing!!!

So, I just walked by my kindle and realized that unless everyone's asleep I will probably never get to read again. Seriously though. I love reading. When I was pregnant with both my daughters I read voraciously while I was on bed rest. My dad couldn't keep up with my book reading. I read and reread everything. With my first it was hard copies and getting new books on bed rest was a stretch, when I got my kindle with my second pregnancy, it was like game on. I read the entire Sookie Stackhouse Series, The Divergent Series, and The Hunger Games Series in a matter of a few weeks. We're talking 14 whole books. When I got pregnant with my third I got to read a little bit but I also had a 1yr old to chase after while on bed rest. So during that whole pregnancy I managed to read one series consisting of 9 books, the last of which I just finished because after my son was born, my kindle disappeared in the hurricane of breastfeeding and diaper changes for two small children. Now having a 4 month old, an 18 month old, and a 9yr old, I quite literally stare at my kindle with a longing that resembles a nerd in high school longing for the homecoming queen. Sad part is that I did just buy a new book and by the time I get to read it at night, I'm either absolutely too exhausted to read or I end up reading all night and absolutely hate myself for it in the morning. And you know what's worse? I'll be going back to work soon and my next class starts next week on top of having three children, so while I will never give up on reading, it will probably be reading for school if I even get to that.

[mommommomof3]

Ahhhh!

So a pivotal moment just happened for me with our son. I was able to lay him down in his bassinet in our bedroom and he fell back asleep. This may not seem like a big deal for most people but for us this is an achievement. My son has not really been put down since birth. We finally caved about a month ago and bought a swing which he will sleep in but it's in the living room and he's constantly being woken by my charming 18m old daughter by her bumping into it or putting something in the way of it swinging. You see he was born premature at a whopping five weeks early and a whole five pounds. He is almost exclusively breastfed and has had colic from about two weeks until about a week ago. I even had to cut caffeine from my diet because he couldn't handle it but he was still a high needs "I have to be held constantly" baby. So him being in the bassinet is an amazing feeling. He will probably still sleep with me but at least I know he can be put down in his bassinet for naps which we are finally starting to resemble a schedule. Which gives me hope for my mother who will be taking care of my children when I go back to work soon. So for me, this is absolutely pivotal for our son. He can get a good nap, I don't have to constantly hold him, and just maybe I can get something done or sit and relish in the fact that I don't have to hold him for a few minutes. Not that I don't love holding him but sometimes it's nice to not have him completely attached to me 24/7.

[mommommomof3]

Seriously though, now colic? Because pregnancy wasn't uncomfortable enough!

So our darling son just made his debut on March 6, 2016 which was also my 32nd birthday. A whole five weeks early and couldn’t be stopped because my water broke. We kind of expected it as my pregnancies are high risk and full of preterm labor. He was born happy and healthy and rockstarred himself right out of the hospital two days later. He took to nursing pretty quickly and everything was great. Then colic kicked in. And we’re not talking an hour or two in the evenings like my last baby with her witching hour. We’re talking full on 4-8 hours of nonstop, except to eat, inconsolable crying. We’re talking the kind of inconsolable crying that you just sit there completely numb or crying your eyes out with him. The kind that makes you wonder why you had kids in the first place. The kind that makes you understand why some animals eat their young, and most definitely the kind that says get your damn tubes tied. We took him to the pediatrician we’ve been going to for years, no answers, next was a pediatric urgent care, no answers and literally left crying, finally called my OB and found out where he took his kids, went to them, we addressed my diet, apparently the first thing to go was caffeine and then an elimination diet which very well could’ve ended with me starving to death. We walked in with a ziplock bag of medicines, both prescribed and natural so called colic remedies, that didn't do shit for my son, we were giving him. I felt like a pharmacy with my son who wasn’t even three months old. I even contacted a psychic friend of mine hoping to point me in some direction to help him. There is nothing worse than not being able to make your baby feel better when all the doctors are saying he is healthy but you, as his MOTHER, know better. Thank goodness, although still shitty, cutting caffeine did the trick. I occasionally have a soda, can’t have coffee 😭 because he’s miserable afterwards, but now is happier than he’s ever been and without a ziplock bag full of medications. He’s still a high needs baby who has to be held constantly but that is workable compared to inconsolable crying. So to the moms out there dealing with colic and wondering if it will ever get better, it does, I absolutely promise that it does. For now, just set your angel spawn down somewhere safe and go where you can't hear them for five to ten minutes and breathe and know that this too shall pass even if it doesn't feel like it.

[mommommomof3]

"If you're not questioning your parenting skills or pissing off your kids, then you're not doing it right!!!"

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