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@monica-is-supadupa
Be yourself so ppl looking for u can find u
out of post limit jail GERARD AND AMY LEE <3333
AS CUTE AS A BUTTON
x
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ⊹ 𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗲𝘇
pairing﹢ateez x fem!reader genre﹢sfw. fluff, established relationship, lovesick, and caring ateez. synopsis﹢as the saying goes, "little things mean a lot," or things they do to show you that they care about you and love you more than anything.
HONGJOONG always finds a way to match you with him, whether it's with a bracelet, a ring, or even a little charm on your bag. he’ll never outright say it, but it’s his way of showing everyone you’re his. whenever he shops, even if it’s just a quick trip to look at fabrics or accessories, always comes back with something for you: a hairpin, a clip, maybe a new pair of sunglasses he swears will look amazing on you, because he keeps losing himself in your eyes (his words, not yours).
sometimes he uses fashion as an excuse to touch you. for example, he loves brushing his fingers through your hair, clipping something in place, straightening your collar, or fixing your necklace. and sometimes you do feel like a doll once his hands touch you in such a gentle manner, you let him, because if there’s anyone you trust with your appearance, it’s him.
but nothing prepared you for the way he looked at you that day. you’d slipped on one of his oversized jackets, styled it with your own flavor. his entire face lit up, a wide grin breaking across his lips, eyes sparkling like he’d just found the most precious gem in the world.
“what?” you asked, tugging at the hem nervously. “is there something wrong with the fit?”
he shook his head instantly, still staring like he's falling in love again after being shot with cupid's arrow. “no, love,” he murmured, voice instantly going into that soft pitch, trying to defend himself. “you just… you look so good in my clothes. how am i supposed to focus on anything else when you’re standing there like that?” and from then on, he secretly hoped you’d steal his clothes more often.
SEONGHWA notices before you do. when you’re tired but try to hide it, when you skip meals, or when you genuinely forget to take care of yourself, he will do it for you. after all he is extremely caring and attentive, noticing every small detail that you tend to miss. “don’t argue, you’ll thank me later.” he is not doing it to seek validation from you, it’s just the way he proves he’s paying attention at all times.
so, imagine him cleaning up around you without saying a word: folding your laundry, organizing your desk, even making you a meal so you don’t have to. when you ask why, he simply shrugs and says, “because i want you to rest more, so let me do this, okay? i like taking care of you.”
and you can’t help but wonder how you even managed to date someone like him. it feels unfair sometimes…he’s so loving, so endlessly sweet, while you catch yourself feeling guilty that he’s doing things you’re supposed to do yourself. one night, curled up in his arms, you asked him the same thing again. “hwa… why do you really do all of this for me? doesn’t it get tiring, don’t you get annoyed?”
he pauses, tightening his hold on you, before tilting his head so you can see the softness in his eyes and smile. “angel, how could i be tired of loving you?” and with words like that, you stopped questioning. after all, how could you, when seonghwa made being loved feel this easy?
YUNHO is so energetic and so happy that even when you are sad or upset with him about something, it won't be for long. he will always, absolutely always find a way to make you laugh. because he can't look at you like that, sitting and sulking, as if someone took something from you and didn't give it back. and especially if that someone is him, he'll have to work twice as hard.
this time, it’s your turn to ignore him. no hello, no glance, nothing but silence as you scroll on your phone. yunho knows exactly why, tho…he might’ve spent a little too long gaming and watching tiktoks without checking in on you. alone time was fine, sure, but ignoring you? yeah, that was his mistake, and he totally deserved to get the silent treatment.
so, he takes a slightly different approach, and with zero warning, launches himself onto the bed, flopping right on top of you with all his weight, arms locking around you so you can’t escape. “babe, stop pretending you don’t like me,” he mumbles into your neck, squeezing tighter when you squirm. “if you don’t smile in the next ten seconds, i’ll… i’ll start singing inception like an opera.”
you giggle because he really started singing like an opera singer, and yunho instantly grins against your skin. “there it is! that’s my favorite smile. knew you couldn’t resist me.” he kisses your cheek, then pecks your lips. “next time, just tell me you want attention, okay? can’t let my pretty girl be alone again.”
YEOSANG may come across as calm and collected, but the moment it’s just the two of you, the introverted walls drop, and suddenly, he’s your biggest nightmare. playful, affectionate, and just a little bit witty. yeah, you wished it was a little, because you don’t know what’s going on through his head at times like this. not that you don’t adore him, you do, absolutely every part of him…but what is this 180° personality change?
he’ll imitate the way you talk when you’re ranting about something random, or copy your little habits until you notice and glare at him. and when you do, he just gives you that slightly mocking, but at the same time genuine smile. “don’t look at me like that,” he says, eyes softening and not leaving yours, “i’m only doing what you do. see? i’m good at it.”
but it’s not just the mimicking. yeosang notices everything from the way your nose scrunches when you’re about to laugh, the way you play with your hands when you’re nervous, even the way your lips twitch right before you lean in to kiss him, he knows your moves before you even make them. “why do you always know when i’m about to kiss you?” you ask once, and his answer is simple, as he leans in closer, “because you are fun to watch, besides you look cute when you zone out.” it may sound creepy, but it’s actually really sweet.
and maybe that’s the secret, you must have put a spell on him somehow, because with you, yeosang isn’t calm, distant, or reserved. he’s open and maybe even slightly extroverted, and so full of love that it shows in every playful remark, and every kiss he always knows is coming.
SAN will always let you try the food first, whether it's a small treat or a whole course meal. he'll even feed you little bites or cut his and give it to you so you can start eating. this gesture touches your heart and stomach, because it is truly very sweet, but on the other hand, he doesn't have to do it almost every time. still, san insists, brushing off your protests with that bright smile, “let me take care of you. i’m your man, aren’t i?”
sometimes, though, you get a little too comfortable with the way he always shares. like the one time you spotted a perfectly wrapped slice of cake in the fridge. you didn’t even hesitate, assuming he must’ve bought it for the two of you. besides you had been thinking what to have as an afternoon snack. by the time he came back into the kitchen, you were halfway through, fork in hand and cheeks full, his lips parted in surprise before pressing into a pout.
“that was mine…” he said, trying not to sound disappointed, but the softness in his tone betrayed him. you blinked, cheeks warming, ready to apologize, but he only shook his head and chuckled. “it’s okay. i’m glad you like it.” at least it wasn't seonghwa who ate it in secret, so everything is fine.
later, he’d still sulk a little, side-eyeing the empty box or teasing that you owed him one, but when you leaned into him with a sheepish grin and kissed him, he melted instantly. because san would always choose your smile over anything else, even his favorite cake.
MINGI prefers to have eye contact when you are having a conversation. whether it's about someone who annoyed you, the new cute cafe you found on the street, or the thing you're fixated on at the moment. really doesn't matter, he just loves listening to you and observing your reactions. especially when you either roll your eyes or raise your eyebrows slightly in surprise, as your lips take the shape of that charming smile he adores.
but you don't know that because sometimes it seems like he's just staring at you as much as he can, pretending to pay attention. what's even more surprising is that when you ask him if he's even listening to you or when you apologize for talking too much, he just smiles back at you.
“mingi, are you okay? you haven’t blinked for the past five minutes…” he blinks then, slow, like he’s coming back to life. his lips curve into that boyish smile, soft eyes behind those glasses, as he just chuckles and shies away for a second.
“sorry, i just prefer to look at you when you speak.” and before you can tease him, he cuts you off by a mimic of his hand to make you keep going, “so, you were saying we should visit the new cafe? are you free tomorrow?”
but the truth is, it’s never really about the cafe. mingi is already picturing the warmth of your hand in his as you walk there together, or the way you’ll light up when you order your favorite treat, and that giggle he knows you’ll let slip when he takes a sip of your drink. he doesn’t care where you go; he just wants to be with you, no matter what.
WOOYOUNG leaves cute little notes in latin for you to find when you either open your laptop, grab a snack, or receive a gift when he is away touring with the group. he does it just because he likes to mess with you, and then he will be spammed with messages or missed calls. in the worst case, if he is with you, you will jump into his arms and never let him go.
once you found a pink sticky note on the microwave that said, “amor meus amplior quam verba est” and when you opened the electronic, there was food waiting for you for breakfast, home-cooked of course, made by yours truly. later, when you translated the quote, it all made sense, “my love is more than words”.
“ab imo pectore” was attached to a big bouquet of pretty flowers, not to mention your favorite. it came as such a surprise because you were just doing nothing at home when you got a message for delivered package...but you hadn't ordered anything. “from the bottom of my heart” and you knew he meant it, even if he was on the other side of the globe.
you’re wandering through his room, had forgotten something and couldn't find it until a small blue note caught your eye, that was attached to a small white box. “et nunc et semper” and when curiosity took over, you lifted the lid and inside was a beautiful golden ring that had the same engraved words as the note. “so you found it, huh? it's a promise ring…guess that's my way of saying you are stuck with me.” he was standing next to you, and he will be now and forever.
JONGHO is known for his strength but with you, he’s incredibly gentle. he’ll carry heavy bags, open jars, or just help you with anything that requires more physical strength. but when it comes to holding your hand, or resting his palm against your cheek, he’s soft like a giant teddy bear. you often tease him about the contrast, and he’ll shy away and say something like, “of course i’m going to be gentle with you. you’re not an apple i can just break in half.”
the moments that happen very often, and that is when he holds your hand, squeezing it just a little tighter than usual, obviously not enough to hurt, but enough for you to know he’s still there. and when you squeeze back, his cheeks tend to turn slightly pink, his gaze darting away so you won’t catch him blushing.
of course, his strength also shows in the playful moments. once, you managed to “beat” him in a round of wrestling. you immediately jumped up, running straight to tell wooyoung and san that you’d finally won against the strongest member. he didn’t even argue or try to claim it as a loss; just sat there watching you being happy, as he tried to hide the smile that was about to appear.
later, when you teased him about letting you win, he rolled his eyes at you, “i just wanted you to stop talking about doing something deemed impossible.” because jongho could never deny you anything, when it makes you laugh, smile, so happy, and especially not when it makes you look at him with heart eyes.
© KISSSAN do not copy, repost or modify my work.
sannie, not mr choi (pt. 1)
⚜ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: choi san x f!reader ⚜ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: the tour is over, but san can't rest just yet. he is to attend a fashion show in another country. he is homesick, and tired. he misses his family, and his members, even though they just parted ways two days ago. still, his eyes can't help but catch someone who is having an equally hard time, if not harder. his sweet, lovely assistant. ⚜ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 22.3k ⚜ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: idol!san, personalassistant!reader, angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, heartbreak ⚜ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: just here to say that i'm a sucker for soft sannie. the reader isn't necessarily petite, choi san is simply that big. i spent forever editing, deleting, rewriting, proofreading. i am spent. if you see any typos, pls ignore <3 i'll eventually reread and convince myself that nobody saw anything if there is any embarrassing typos ⚜ 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲. ⚜ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐞.
𓆩⟡𓆪
sore feet. swollen ankles. aching arms. dry mouth. eyelids that barely stay separated. little to no free time.
all those are consequences of your not-so-new position that kq has generously offered you. and you have accepted. being choi san's personal assistant had its perks, too. opportunities you could only ever dream of, such as visiting countries you always thought unreachable or expensive, meeting celebrities, even interacting with them, following san to his separate activities. each member had his own assistant. when you applied, you didn't care who you'd work for. you loved them all equally. after all, you have been a fan of theirs since debut.
they didn't need to know that, though. they would've never hired you, had they known that you were a faithful atiny. they wouldn't have believed you even if you swore that you were there to work only, not spy on them or anything similar. you would never do that. you guarded each information about them with your life, and took your job very seriously. being this close to them allowed you to admire them even more, see parts of them nobody else could. the pain, the suffering, the hard work, the love they share for each other, the quarrels, the playful moments. all of it. and you wouldn't do anything to sabotage that.
not even when you were informed that you weren't going back home as planned. choi san will need you with him at the milan fashion week after all. and you were no fool to decline.
even as you stand next to him, ready to exit the hotel, barely keeping your eyes open and your posture perfect.
"stay." he stops you by gently grabbing your elbow, pulling you back before you could step outside and be the first victim of the screams and flashing lights. "you will pass out."
"i'm fine, really." you force a smile. san looks at you, kind eyes filled with worry.
"don't lie to me, please." his voice is a mere whisper. "stay. you can join me at the after party."
you shake your head. you aren't leaving his side. not today. he will need all the support he can get, and even though you are having a hard time yourself, he isn't in any better condition. he misses home, undoubtedly. more than that, he misses sleep. "where you go, i go. i'm bound to you by contract, choi san. you cannot get rid of me just yet."
he chuckles, the sound dear to your heart.
"at least not for another six months, until it expires. or gets renewed, unlucky for you."
he delivers a playful pinch to your side, making you jump and yelp. you slap a hand over your mouth, mortified at the sudden attention that the entire floor of the hotel has given you. hurriedly, you exit the hotel, opening the door of the limousine and waiting for san to greet his fans. his figure is hugged by perfectly ironed black slacks, which you may or may not have almost forgotten to iron this morning, a loose black shirt, with one too many buttons left unbuttoned, and a necklace that sits on his tan chest. naked chest.
"you disapprove of my outfit?" he asks playfully, sipping on his champagne while the limousine smoothly glides over the busy streets of milan, waking each passerby's curiosity.
"not at all, mr choi." you reply equally playfully. you sit across him, maintaining your distance. "i think it's quite lovely. it will attract many fine ladies tonight."
he scoffs. "as if that's what i am looking for right now. oh, how i would kill for ten hours of sleep."
"two more days, mr choi. then, you'll be back home. you'll even miss all this, i assure you."
"i know i will." he sighs. "but right now, i'd rather miss my room and those chaotic idiots i call family."
𓆩⟡𓆪
surrounded by people, yet alone.
that is how you feel at almost every event that isn't a concert. all these people around you exude luxurious energy. the place reeks of expensive fragrances, and the red carpet is covered by all sorts of exquisite gowns. you feel like the odd one out, with your black suit pants and vest which san has picked for you.
"to match with me," he said. "it will look great."
and who were you to refuse him? after all, you were there to fulfill his wished and cater to his needs. free clothes were a bonus you didn't need, but also didn't mind. it is your first fashion show, and san knew that you were as nervous as him. worse, even.
"it will be over soon." he assured you, away from prying eyes. "we can sneak off the party earlier and go rest."
"you know, for people our age, it is a little weird that we aren't eagerly waiting for that after party to get wasted and brag about doing it with celebrities."
"i know, right?" the idol scoffs.
it is the last conversation you have before he gets pulled away into the crowd. his eyes don't leave yours, and a pout is evident on his lips. it is as if he is trying to ask you whether you'll be fine on your own. having no other choice, it doesn't even matter. it is not as if you can leave him here and go rest in your hotel room. you wish you could. he offered, but you'd feel guilty. behind the tough figure, choi san is a soft human. he is the epitome of the term gentle giant. you know that behind his offer he secretly wishes you don't leave him. moreover, he wishes you can follow him around. be in his pocket, he had once said.
your eyes lose his in the crowd, and suddenly, you feel alone. more alone than you've already felt since arriving. even though san is your boss, he is an idol to you first. your comfort person. he brought you peace, and he didn't even know it. you only wished you could do the same with him.
𓆩⟡𓆪
san stays at the after party.
you do not.
he has assured you that he will be fine and that he is perfectly capable of getting his own glass of water if needed. how that water turned into wine, you did not know. you saw the photos on social media. you'd recognize that flushed face from miles away.
as you sit outside on the hotel balcony of your room, with your gaze fixed on the clear night sky and a full moon, your phone vibrates on the glass table.
choi san: i know i told you to go
choi san: but iwas kinds hoping that you stayyed
choi san: am leavinthe place now, couldn't find youu
san seems to have developed a separation anxiety when it comes to you. even on your days off, the man blows up your phone with various messages and pictures, updating you on what he is doing and what you are missing. were he not an idol, and this your job, you would've mistaken it for something else.
your job as his personal assistant did not require you to follow him everywhere. choi san did. he simply needed to bring you along to the restaurant, to the convenience store, to the souvenir shop, to the café. you, and his bodyguard and manager. he would often complain, wishing to only be with you because he felt like he had more "freedom". the manager explained multiple times why it is a bad idea for a male idol to be seen with anyone who isn't a familiar staff member, especially in foreign cities. like paris.
choi san: aryou mad?????
choi san: :(
choi san: ok im ssorry
choi san: you're probbly asleep novv anyvvay
choi san: hey vvhere did the double v go?*
choi san: you knovv
choi san: the upside dovvn M??
choi san: englsh is funny..
choi san: i feel all fuzzy
choi san: i can't find the elevatr
choi san: ilostmybodyguardndmanger
choi san: maanagerr
choi san: icantseethespacebar
choi san: found it :D
choi san: i tripped on the stairs.
choi san: [image attached]
at the sight of his pouty face and slouched figure sitting on the hotel stairs, your fingers quickly tap the telephone icon in the corner of the screen. he doesn't pick up at first, and worry fills you. then, just as you reach the door to exit your room in search for him, he picks up.
"heya." he casually greets on the other side.
"mr choi." you sigh. "where are you?"
your heart races as someone knocks on your door, and luckily you stand right in front of it to take a peek of who it is. you see a single eye pressed against the peephole. an eye you'd recognize anywhere in the world. with your phone still in your hand, you open the door.
"hey, princess."
as much as the words make your head spin and your stomach fuzzy, you have to put a serious face on. "mr choi, we talked about this. you can't call me that."
"i can do whatever i want." he pouts. "i'm your boss."
"my tipsy boss." you correct. "come, i'll escort you to your room."
as you try passing him, he grabs you by your elbow once again, pressing you gently against the wall. air leaves your lungs. choi san dips his head towards yours so that he is at eye-level with you. "why do you wish to get rid of me so badly?"
"mr choi-"
"sannie."
"what?"
his bottom lip sticks out in a slight pout. such a big man, yet such a gentle heart. "not mr choi. sannie. call me sannie."
"no." you firmly decline. the last thing you need is to be heard by a staff member and get fired. not even san himself could prevent that happening. "i'll show you to your room."
"you're so mean to me." he whines, then enters your room.
"mr choi!" you whisper-yell, suddenly aware of the time. "get out of there, right now."
your words seem to go into one ear and out the other, as the man simply plops down on your bed. face buried into your pillows. the pillows where you just laid before getting bored and moving to the balcony.
a sigh leaves your lips, but you aren't defeated yet. you close the door for now, in case someone's curious eyes decide to wander. "mr choi."
"you're mean." he repeats, words muffled into the soft material. "you hate me."
"you're drunk."
suddenly, he raises his head, jaw dropped. "you aren't denying it. you do hate me!"
"oh for crying out loud." you throw your hands in the air, then make your way to the balcony doors and pull the curtains shut. his room and the managers room are directly in the opposite of yours, and one glance through the window might cost you your job. you then turn around, only to find him sitting with his back leaning against the headboard and arms crossed over his chest. his gaze is fixed on you, eyes squinted and lips pressed in a thin line. you can't help but roll your eyes. "i don't hate you, mr choi."
"lies."
"why are you making this difficult?" it is your turn to whine now. "i promise i don't hate you. you're the best boss in the whole world! now please, please, please let me escort you to your room."
for a moment, you think he will comply. he stands up. takes a few slow steps towards you. finally, you think. but then-
"why do you hate me when all i do is love you?"
-it feels as if all air has been sucked out of your lungs. your tongue is as dried up as a raisin, and a low murmur fills up your ears. san's gaze is intense, crushing your sanity and making the little professionalism that is left crumble beneath his posture. he almost hovers above you, and were someone to walk in, you're sure they wouldn't even see you from his broad shoulders and back. his hair is no longer neatly slicked back, instead disobedient and framing his face, the black complimenting his dark eyes. the eyes that do not flicker. do not blink. only stare at you, waiting for you to say something. anything. fuck.
"why do you keep pushing me away?" his voice is a mere whisper. soothing, not accusing. he wants a reason to be at peace with himself, not a reason to prove you wrong. "what have i done to you?"
"mr choi-" you manage to say. your voice is raspy, like you haven't drank anything for a long time. "you don't mean that. you won't even remember this in the morning."
"you can't call me by my name even when we are all alone?" he tilts his head, giving you sweet puppy eyes. "this isn't a test. i'm not testing your professionalism. i genuinely enjoy your company, i have for a long time now. fine, i might not love you... that was a bit strong. but i like you. i really do. i have feelings for you. i've had them for a while now."
you swallow a lump in your throat. god, you never thought that a confession from one of your favourite idols would hurt like this, if it ever happened. you're supposed to be over the roof, jumping on him, returning the feelings. instead, you gather the little sanity you have left and place your hand on his conveniently naked chest and gently push him away. why does he have to be so warm and inviting? "forced proximity."
"what?"
"forced proximity, mr choi." you repeat, doing your best to maintain eye contact. you need to be strong and firm. he cannot see any shift in emotion. san is observant, always has been. but right now, you can't let him know that pushing him away is hurting you as much as it is hurting him. "you don't like me. you just have the illusion of liking me."
"are you..." he scoffs, taking a step back before continuing, "are you saying i don't know my own feelings? that i am wrong?"
"what i'm saying is that after spending so much time with someone for so long, you are bound to develop a certain... how do i put this?" you sigh, placing your hands on your hips as you think. "delusion. or illusion. whichever you wish."
"you're calling me delusional?" san suddenly seems less tipsy. like this conversation has magically sobered him up. and angered him. "i cannot believe you."
"i'm not calling you delusional. i'm calling these... feelings, i guess, delusional. they don't exist. you might feel comfort, or some type of safety with me. but romantic feelings? think deep down, mr choi. why would you have feelings for me?"
when you said that, you didn't mean for him to actually start listing things. but he does. one by one, and he doesn't stop.
"you're so sweet, and caring. you wouldn't hurt an ant. i know because every time we walk, you tend to look on the ground and walk around ant hills, or any bugs that might be on the floor. you yelled at the manager for stepping on a snail the other day. you care for all members equally, which makes me insanely jealous, because you are my assistant, but i can't deny that it makes me equally happy and warm when i see you do that. you always ask me before creating my schedule, give me choices, even though you don't have to. you give me many days off, you tell the company off many times if you think they are being unfair, you never complain about the tasks you are given, you bring me things without me having to ask, you are here whenever i need you, and you respect my private time and my space. not once did i hear you complaining, not once did you refuse to do what you were told, not once did i see a frown on your face, other than when the management pisses you off. you are the prettiest thing i've ever seen, and just looking at you makes me feel well rested even though i haven't slept. your voice is something i'll never hear anywhere else again, and it's always in my head. when i read your messages, i hear you. when you're not beside me, i hear you. and i hate when you're not beside me. i want you with me all the time, i want you with me behind the cameras, behind the manager, behind the company. i want to take you to a café in paris if i want to. i want to take pictures with you on the bridge in amsterdam. i want to sit on the london eye with you. i want you to open up to me like i open up to you. i want to know what troubles you, not only what makes you happy. i want you to find comfort in me, as much as i find comfort in you. i. want. you."
san becomes blurry before your eyes. were it not for the lack of lights, he would've seen how hard you're trying to keep the tears from spilling. he is making it hard. so hard that you can almost hear your heart snap in half when the sentence leaves your lips. "that is just me doing my job, mr choi."
and you swear you hear his heart burst as well. pain. rejection. heartbreak. it swallows him whole. his figure shrinks, and his voice is small. barely audible. "what?"
"why..." you clear your throat, trying to get rid of the painful lump that is stuck inside it. "why else do you think i do all of it? it is my job. haven't you wondered why i never open up to you? why you only see me at my best? i cannot burden you. you are my boss. you cannot know these things about me. i am here to make your life easier, were it by bringing you a coffee or simply listening to you rant. what you feel for me might be simple fondness, one you might have for a friend. you notice these things because i am constantly by your side. you demand i be by your side. if i don't, you're all grumpy and a menace to the staff to the point that i have to show up whether or not the events have anything to do with me. you've developed separation anxiety, mr choi. you found comfort in me simply because i am the one by your side at all times. were it someone else instead of me, the story would be the same. in conclusion, forced proximity is the answer here. nothing more."
his words die in his mouth. his brows are furrowed. he is hurt. and angry. he has every right to be. you did this to him. you took a loving, kind man and destroyed him. and you'll never forgive yourself, ever. you'll see his face every night before falling asleep as guilt eats you whole.
but you'd feel even more guilty if you indulged. yes, your feelings for him do exist. but what you said isn't completely wrong. san might be under the impression that he likes you, even loves you. but san hasn't had much interaction with anyone else as much as with you. you cannot take his freedom away. he needs to meet other people, he can't settle for you. you wouldn't be the right match. it wouldn't be right in anyone's eyes. after all, you are a fan. he might not know it, or he does. either way, you'd feel weird. as if you took advantage of your position and hypnotized him into being with you. the rest of the fandom would find out eventually, and they wouldn't be kind. hell, they would show up with torches beneath your window, you're sure of it. and you'd maybe do the same, were you to find out that choi san is dating an atiny who just happened to get a job at his company and had the opportunity to work with him.
"okay." he simply says.
you don't respond. the weight of sadness on your chest is too heavy, as is the weight of his gaze.
"good night, miss y/n."
"good night, mr choi."
and suddenly, the words mr choi feel like poison on your tongue.
𓆩⟡𓆪
"you know how i never complain about my job?" you finally catch the manager alone in the hallway once you return to seoul. he is headed somewhere in a hurry, but it is the only chance you have to talk to him.
"no. what's that like?" he simply responds, eyes glued to his phone screen.
"funny. anyways, i don't know how to put this, so i'll just say it." you speed up your pace, only to stand in front of him to block his way and force him to listen to you. "i'd like to switch with jaz."
he almost bumps into you, not aware that you have planted yourself on the ground until you get what you want. "you want to switch? why?"
"i just think that it isn't a good idea to be with the same member for a long time. if you know what i mean."
you're playing a dirty game. and you hope jaz doesn't find out. "you mean... you think there's something going on between jaz and mingi?"
"i didn't say anything." and you wouldn't, usually. but it is the only excuse in your book. you cannot possibly tell him about san's confession. "i just think it would do us all good if we switched places. to avoid favoritism."
in truth, you cannot be near san. the trip back was painful enough, with san avoiding you like the plague. he refused to talk to anyone, really. but only you took it personal. because it was. he had only spared you a glance once you passed by his seat on the plane, and a worried one when one of the fansites almost tripped you. other than that, choi san has maintained his distance from you. it's for the best, anyway.
"you're right.i'll think about it, then text the new pairs in the group chat tonight."
"thank you, sihun. you're the best."
the manager simply rolls his eyes, then circles around you and continues his journey.
in the evening, you receive the long awaited message. you hadn't notified anyone, in case they decide to rebel and talk the manager into dropping the issue. this way it will already be decided, and they won't have any luck in changing his mind. when did you become so mean and selfish?
good evening, everyone.
it has come to my attention that a lot of you have become very comfortable with your idol, while some are still struggling to find a common language with theirs. thus, i have decided to reassign your positions in hopes of switching up the dynamics a little bit. the new pairs will be:
hongjoong and eric
seonghwa and jaz
yunho and gyuri
yeosang and y/n
san and melanie
mingi and thomas
wooyoung and hyori
jongho and sooe
no complaints, i don't want to hear it. this pairing will come into effect tomorrow. good luck.
the separate groupchat, without the manager, is flooded with texts. who ratted who out, plots of convincing the manager to change his mind, even going as far as convincing the members to say something. you occasionally respond with a witty or sarcastic message, trying to blend in and not seem suspicious. jaz and mingi would never forgive you if they knew.
𓆩⟡𓆪
kang yeosang is a sweetheart.
he is so sweet that it is painful. he feels almost fragile, and speaks so softly to you. he doesn't ask anything of you, even when you offer. yunho, mingi and him are the only ones in the practice room so far, aside from you and a few other staff members, preparing new moves for the choreography before others arrive. the rest had the privilege of sleeping in, putting all their trust in the three dancers of the group.
the boys haven't complained about the coupling so far, yunho and gyuri already bickering playfully like siblings and yeosang making small talk with you. mingi is in the corner with thomas as the assistant shows him something on the phone, but you notice how distant mingi looks. it's not like they won't see each other ever again. besides, it would've been too suspicious to ask to only switch you and san.
"i haven't had the chance to say this, or the guts, but i love your hair." yeosang catches you off guard. "it's so pretty."
the doors open, with san entering first. his smile drops from his lips as his eyes lock with you. you don't notice him yet, and it gives him a chance to collect himself. until his gaze lands on yeosang's fingers twirling with the ends of your hair. what the fuck?
"i want to do that for the comeback. talk my hairstylist into it, please?" his fingers smoothly run through the freshly dyed lock of hair. you're happy that it is obedient this morning and not a tangled and frizzy mess. "think i could pull it off?"
"of course you could. you're kang yeosang, you can pull anything off." you playfully nudge him with your elbow. "just don't do the hongjoong fireworks coconut cut, pretty please. that still haunts him. and us."
yeosang giggles, in his own cute yeosang way. he really isn't much different off cameras. "noted."
with that, his fingers slide from your hair, letting it fall and frame your face again. as you turn around, smile still on your face, you find yourself bumping into someone. "oh, sorr-"
firm hands hold onto your waist, steadying you. you don't expect it, especially since you weren't really about to lose your balance. as if this very person just wanted an excuse to put their hands on you. you look up, confused at first. and then, that lump in your throat. san's hands are stiff on your waist, afraid that you'll perish if he lets go of you. he gives you the softest expression you've ever seen, with dark glossy eyes hidden under half closed eyelids, relaxed brows and pretty lips. "gosh, you're so pretty."
words are caught in your throat. you look around, frantically. nobody hears him, you think. your hands find themselves once again planted on his chest, pushing him away. it's what you do best these days. "mr choi-"
"right, sorry." he clears his throat, and just like that, his expression shifts. no emotion is visible on his pretty face. at least not when he looks your way.
you don't get the chance to tell him that you have been separated. he walks over to yunho and mingi who are observing the video they took earlier of the new possible choreography.
"you know, i'm actually so happy i get to work with san. he was my first pick when we first got hired. but you stole him." the redhead, melanie, beams next to you. "oh, just look at him."
you don't want to. but you do anyway. to anyone else, san looks like he is immersed into the video. but you see the subtle glances he is stealing, trying to control himself but not being able to. even though you aren't standing close to each other, he suddenly feels suffocated. he can hear you, smell you, feel you. he walks over to the wall covered in mirrors, thinking that the further distance might help. but his eyes inevitably land on you through the mirror. and this time, you don't look away.
"he has gotten so big and muscular." melanie's commentary is golden as the two of you play an imaginary game of holding eye contact. as if the world will crumble if one of you looks away.
san does indeed look handsome today. he wears a black compression shirt and black sweatpants. his hair is a fluffy mess. he hates combing. even though his shirt is long sleeved, it is so tight that it hugs every curve and dip of his muscles, feeding you sights you are so privileged to see. were you an atiny still behind a fan account, you would've begged him to put you in a headlock. now? you have to force yourself to look away before you become a tomato on the spot.
"what's it like?" she pries. "working with him."
"it's..." everything. "okay, i guess. he's not mischievous, he listens to everything i say. he's nice."
"oh, i can't wait. how does he like his coffee? does he like sweet or savory? what's his favourite dish?"
throughout the dance practice, melanie talks your ear off. first with questions, then with shameless comments. at one point, you have to stop her. "you're not here as a fan. you can't say things like that. it's disrespectful."
"boo-hoo. miss perfect here can't handle a few comments." the redhead rolls her eyes. "they're grown men."
"okay." you give up. san will handle it. he has boundaries. one comment from her and she'll go straight back to her father who arranged this job for her.
"i'm craving an iced coffee..." yeosang approaches you, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. who was the idol here again? "would you maybe mind going to the shop across the street and getting one for me? and whatever you wish for yourself, of course."
a black card is placed in your hand. "don't ask me these things, mr kang. just give me an order and i'll do it."
"i can't do that and you know it." he laughs shyly. "but please, would you? i would be grateful."
"of course, mr kang."
the boys are taking a break, and conveniently, san stands right next to the door. he eyes you as you approach him, biting the inside of his cheek. "where are you going?"
"to get yeo his coffee."
"yeo?" he scoffs. "his coffee? since when are you his assistant?"
"since last night." you simply reply.
he doesn't expect it. his brows seem to stay furrowed these days, you being the reason behind it. "what do you mean?"
"our positions were reassigned. i am no longer your personal assistant." you say it so nonchalantly. like you don't care. and you admire yourself for it. you didn't know you had it in you. “melanie is.”
"you're lying." his demeanor switches from tough to disappointed, with his arms no longer crossed over his chest but hanging on the sides of his body. "tell me you're lying."
"why would i lie about something like that?" you don't allow him to continue interrogating you, instead exiting the practice room.
he follows, ignoring the calls behind him. "wait!"
"mr choi, i have been given a task. please let me do my job."
"oh, so he's yeo, but i'm mr choi." bitterness is evident in his voice. "you're so- so-"
"what am i, mr choi?"
"mean." he finishes. he looks frustrated with himself. could he not have found a better word?
"i think i heard that one before from you, mr choi. do you wish for anything from the shop?"
"you know what?" he clenches his fists. he stands silent for a while, eyes roaming your face for any indication that you might be simply teasing him and that this is all just a harmless joke. but you don't budge. you look at him, yet it feels like you are looking through him. you don't care. this truly is just a job to you. "i'm glad we switched. at least melanie won't hurt me like you did."
the words make your blood boil. suddenly, you don't feel bad. "excuse me?"
"i poured my heart out to you, and you-"
"do not fucking guilt trip me." you raise your voice. a light gasp leaves his lips, and his fists unclench. he takes a step back as you approach him angrily, finger pointing into his chest, threatening to stab him. "i do not owe you anything. your feelings are not my problem. i meant what i said, every single word of it. this is just a job. you are just my boss. i am here to collect my paycheck and leave. i do not wish to arrive at work and have to deal with this. get your shit together and stop this madness before you get us in trouble for nothing."
your words strike him like an arrow through a heart. a poison arrow. you've never spoken to anyone this way. not even the management. this is a new side of you he is meeting, and he is a fool for falling even deeper for you. "look me in the eyes and tell me there wasn't a single moment when you looked at me and wished for something more than just a business relationship. that there wasn't a moment where you felt so comfortable with me that you wanted it to last forever."
anger overshadows your usual kindness and thinking process. you approach him, unintentionally causing him to further step back and collide with the wall. the height difference is comical, and were it not a serious situation, one of you would've surely made a witty comment about it. to anyone standing aside, it would've been weird seeing someone like choi san get cornered by someone smaller than him. luckily, you are alone in the hallway, and it is now your turn to pour your heart out.
the tip of your nail is buried in his chest, causing him to stiffen and not move a muscle against the cold wall. you look him straight in the eyes as your teeth bite and abuse the inside of your cheek before speaking. "there wasn't a single moment where i looked at you as anything more than my disobedient and spoiled boss."
"you're lying."
"i'm not."
"you are. i don't believe you." he isn't sure who he is trying to convince with his words. you, or himself?
"i am not lying."
"you'll have to do better than that to convince me."
"i will not prove my non existent feelings to you. are you out of your mind?" you are in disbelief.
"you're just saying that because you don't want to lose your job." he argues further. "i'm not insane."
"there wasn't a single moment where i felt anything romantic for you."
"lies."
"i swear to-"
"you're telling me that all those times when i'd accidentally touch you and you'd blush furiously were nothing?"
"stop."
"all those times when i'd lend you my coat because you keep losing your jackets and i'd catch you secretly sniffing it or hugging it after you're done wearing it?"
"stop."
"all those times you stayed up late to talk to me was just work to you? who does that? you could've chosen not to respond. those aren't your working hours. instead, you were always online, whenever i'd send you anything. and don't tell me it's just because you were doing your job. i don't know how much my boss would have to pay me for me to listen to him talk for two hours straight about things that don't even make sense in the middle of the night. no sane person would indulge in the things you did, for a paycheck, and-"
"san."
and that's all it takes for him to stop. his name dripping honey from your lips, but with a bitter aftertaste. he hates that this is the only moment where you have called him by his first name. "yes?"
"leave me alone." you finally say. "we can remain professional, as we were until you ruined it. or..."
as much as he doesn't want to ask, deathly afraid of the answer, the words still see the light of the day. "or...?"
"or i'll leave. and you'll never see me again."
𓆩⟡𓆪
business dinners aren't unusual for the kq company. business banquets that include the staff? a little.
the company is celebrating its anniversary, and has decided to invite all its artists and staff. all those who make this company still stand. you feel proud for being a part from that.
yeosang has forwarded you the digital invitation, and you glance at it once again as you get ready, just in case you missed anything or misread. the dress code is a simple black tie. initially, you weren't taking this seriously. until the private group chat was flooded with images of various gowns, suits and accessories. suddenly, your pants and blazer seemed like sweats compared to what they were wearing. thus, here you stand in an off shoulder black gown with a leg slit in front of your mirror, retouching your makeup. the corset is tight around your waist and ribs, but the rest of the dress falls comfortably and rests against your body. with san, you always opted for pants, jumpsuits, vests. you can't remember when you wore a dress. mostly because you always deemed it impractical for work.
you haven't heard from san for two months now. you see him in hallways, at shows and social media. yeosang doesn't drag you along with him wherever he goes. he values your free time and doesn't like to bother you. deep inside, you miss being tugged all ways at once. it made you feel like you were important and capable. yeosang has given you a vacation, it seems.
the red lipstick is wiped for the third time tonight, making your lips irritated and swollen. it doesn't look right. but you don't have time to reapply or find a new shade, hearing the ride honk just below your window. the five minutes of going down the stairs in your heels, with your hands holding your gown so that you don't trip, feel like a fairytale. it dies once you see the manager in the fancy car, already moody.
"do i want to know?" you roll your eyes as you sit and fasten your seatbelt.
"we asked for artificial flowers. they delivered live ones, thinking that we were picking the cheaper option and they're doing us a favour. in their minds, it was a thoughtful gift. it's-"
"-a disaster." you finish for him. melanie and jaz look confused in the back. you don't. you know exactly why this is an issue. "poor san."
before the redhead can ask, the engine starts, and the manager speeds up so that you can arrive on time. you'd be lying if you said that you weren't bothered by her touchy relationship with san. she always has her hands on him, but in a way that nobody can tell her anything about it, not even san. his hair always needs fixing, his collar straightening, his tie or buttons adjusting. and he doesn't complain. you hate how jealous it makes you. you almost regret your secret meddling in the new pair ups.
the mansion is located just outside of seoul, on a hill overlooking the city and surrounded by a forest. the banquet hall is breathtaking. the first thing you notice is the strong scent of jasmine and honeysuckle. then, endless tables of sweets. cakes, dessert cups, chocolate fondue, cookies, fruit, and whatnot. the colours are inviting, a contrast to the black and white attire that the personnel is rocking. everybody looks breathtaking. you dare say that even the ceo looks handsome tonight.
the seats are assigned, of course. the personal assistants sit at the same table, not in a bad spot. you have clear view of the empty space in the middle of the hall. for dancing, you assume.
"girl, where is your lipstick?" sooe raises her eyebrow.
even if you had it to begin with, it would've been gone with the cake in your stomach right now. "the shade was so ugly that i simply decided not to wear one. red doesn't suit me."
"no, orange doesn't suit you." gyuri corrects. "you haven't tried proper red. here."
she hands you a lipstick. dior, of course. your essence lipstick can't compete with that. "i'm okay-"
"it would be a crime to wear a dress like that and not to have red lipstick on." eric comments, eyes not leaving his plate of food. "this cheesecake is heaven. i won't even need dinner."
a sneeze grabs your attention. nobody pays attention to it but you. you wouldn't either, if you didn't know who it belonged to. before he can spot you, or vice versa, you almost run from the table under the excuse that you're going to apply the lipstick.
the ladies room is empty besides you and another member of staff, who is fixing her hair in the mirror. she smiles as a greeting. relief washes over your body, happy that she isn't one of those your group calls "the bully crew". those are people who have been here since day one, and are impossible to work with. always mean, bitter and judgmental. then they say that the younger generations are rude.
the girl soon finishes, and just before exiting, throws a compliment your way. "you have a very pretty neck."
"that's so random." you laugh. "but thank you."
"maybe it's the dress, but really, i mean it. it's weird to me too, i- oops, sorry. i was just on my way out." before you have the chance to find out what interrupted her, another sneeze echoes through the hallway and the ladies room.
the hand that holds the lipstick stiffens. through the mirror, you can see into the hallway that leads both into the men's room and the women's room. the girl scurries past him, leaving you without finishing her sentence. the person she bumped into starts walking, and you know he has to pass by the open doors of the room in order to reach his destination. like a coward, you hide in one of the stalls. then, familiar voices.
"did you see her anywhere?"
"keep your voice down." you recognize seonghwa. "we just got here. you need to calm down."
san sneezes again, then whines. "i'm going to die here tonight. i won't even see her."
"you're so dramatic. how did she put up with you for so long?" you can almost feel the older man roll his eyes.
"whatever. can't believe yeosang snatched her away from me."
you can almost feel seonghwa roll his eyes. you do, as well. "he didn't snatch her. nobody knew that they would switch us."
"yeah, right. i still want to know why he was touching her."
"her hair, san. i keep hearing this story once a week, and frankly, i'm tired of it. she's not gonna forbid him to approach her."
"you don't get it..." san mumbles.
their voices echo even when they enter the men's room, due to non existent doors. you should use the chance and run away. but your feet stay planted on the ground, and you even put the toilet lid down so you can sit. you might be here for a while, even after they leave. you need time to collect yourself. going back to the table with cheeks flushed and tears in your eyes is not an option.
you miss him. the whole situation seems like a breakup, like san is your ex boyfriend and you both desperately wish to get back together, but you know you can't. it wouldn't work. you hate yourself for thinking that way. all those months of holding back, and now you allow yourself to feel vulnerable after successfully pushing him away.
"melanie is getting on my nerves."
you can't help the snort that leaves you, and you slap your palm over your mouth. seonghwa chuckles. "she's enjoying her new position, isn't she?"
"a bit too much." san's voice is horse, and he sounds congested. "i caught her taking pictures of me in the dressing room the other day. i'm too tired to do anything about it, really."
"san, that's serious." seonghwa's tone changes, as does your expression. he better be joking. "you have to report that to-"
"i really don't have the energy to deal with that. you know her father will convince the management to make her stay."
silence envelops the place for a few moments. you hear soft sniffles, then water running. this might be the moment when you should start meddling. san won't do anything about it, and it will make melanie think that she can get away with it. she won't stop there, you know it. you heard all sorts of comments and fantasies out of her shameless mouth. were you a hypocrite? perhaps. the difference being that you viewed san as a kind, loving person who, if not an idol, would be your dream partner. melanie viewed san as something that you can't describe respectfully even if you tried. she wanted him physically. and she is working on it, she proudly announces it every now and then. nobody in the group bats an eye except you, but you don't say anything. she has already called you out, accusing you that since you were no longer his personal assistant that you had no right to say or do anything that includes him.
this is too far. she is out of her mind. you're sure you'd feel the same disgust and need to meddle if it were another member. this type of behaviour is getting out of control, and you might have to do a little more yelling for the management to wake up and start protecting its artists.
"anyway..." he trails. "i'm going back. do i look less pathetic?"
"no." seonghwa replies. "you look like a dumpling. these allergies have no mercy on you."
san sighs, defeated. "well. this is the best i can do. let's hope i don't see her at all, for her sake."
it should surprise you that san still speaks about you. more than that, it should surprise you that seonghwa knows about it as well. he doesn't scold him. if seonghwa had no problem with it, why did you create one?
"i'll see you there. i'm just going to wash my hands." the older man announces.
you hear footsteps, then water running again. you finally step out of the stall, gently closing the door after you. hurriedly, you rummage through your clutch, and soon enough, you find what you're looking for. you hear footsteps again, except this time, you don't hide. "mr park?"
seonghwa turns around, surprised. he wears simple black slacks, and a black, slightly sheer button up. just his style. "hi, love."
"could you..." you approach him with the item that you dug out, holding it out for him to take. "give this to him?"
the man takes the small bottle of nose drops, then smiles. "you still look out for him."
he doesn't mention anything about you eavesdropping. he's as nosy as you, and you both know it. many times you've found yourselves accidentally looking each others way every time something happened or you'd hear something. and each time you both had to fight yourselves as to not burst out laughing.
"i just had them with me, really." you shake your head. "i don't ever empty my bags. just store things in them until they refuse to close. that has been sitting in there for a while."
"right." he allows you to think you can fool him. "should i say they're from you?"
you shrug. "i can say no. but you'll still tell him, won't you?"
"and you mean to convince us that you aren't an atiny. you know us better than anyone else, and you've been here the shortest amount of time." his hand finds its place on the top of your head, giving you a few pats and a playful hair ruffle, before retreating. "do you need anyone to talk to?"
"no." you quickly reply, flustered. "and i'm- i'm not an-"
"you're not." he nods. "it's our little secret. it has been since the day you walked in and were the only one who didn't want to choose between us."
there goes your meddling. "thanks."
seonghwa then greets you with a smile, and finally exits to find san. the lipstick is applied with shaky hands, and loose hair strands successfully tamed. by the time you get back to the table, the ceo has already stood up to give a speech. luckily, the table is tucked in the corner of the room, saving you from embarrassment of being the only one standing.
as the ceo starts, your eyes wander over the tables. it isn't difficult to find them, their table is at the front, along with the xikers one. san sits with his back facing the room. you wonder if seonghwa has given him the drops already, and if he feels a bit better. it doesn't even matter if he knows who they're from. he can guess, anyway.
the speech is wrapped up, with gratitudes towards the staff, from the older ones to the recently joined ones. "you all make kq, not only the artists." he finishes.
half your table is gone, and you would've stayed sat, were it not for jaz dragging you along to dance with her. your plate of food will have to wait. jaz looks the most stunning tonight. the white dress looks gorgeous on her dark skin, and her usually slicked back hair is replaced by luscious curls that fall over her shoulders and down her back. you feel so basic and underdressed just standing next to her.
"i'm gonna need you to cover for me." she whispers into your ear when a dance move brings her close to you. "mingi wants to use the fact that everybody is here so that we can have some peaceful time alone."
you can't say no. not after you were the one who separated them. "of course. i'll figure something out."
"thank you!" she hugs you tightly. "if you need anything ever, don't hesitate to ask."
there are all sorts of things you need. none of those can be helped by jaz. unless she is a sorceress who can erase your feelings for someone. "i'll keep that in mind."
once jaz successfully slips away, with mingi following soon after, you start feeling tired. it is past eleven, and you don't even realize how long you've been dancing. gyuri and thomas retreat to the table where melanie and sooe haven't moved, and eric is enjoying his third piece of cheesecake and fourth éclair.
"you know that there is a bunch of steaks right in front of you?" thomas playfully smacks the back of his head. "y/n, do you want one?"
"no, thanks." you aren't hungry. not when you see melanie eyeing someone up in the crowd behind you. "i'm going to get some fresh air, maybe when i get back."
you don't know where you are going. the place isn't that big for you to get lost, so you take your time exploring. no balconies so far, and the porch is occupied by smokers. you find a staircase, and that feeling of the fairytale is back again as you take the gown in your hands and start walking. the stairs lead you to a rooftop. you wonder why the event wasn't taking place here. it is as big as the hall, and instead of the dancefloor, there is a pool. the view is breathtaking, with minimal light pollution allowing the stars to glimmer above the still alive city of seoul. the city never sleeps, and is beautiful at any time of day. it's so easy to forget where you are, having to spend all your time inside or wherever your job requires you to go.
the door closes behind you, and you can't help the quiet groan that leaves your lips. you really needed a few minutes to yourself.
"oh, sorry. didn't realize someone was here."
out of all people.
"i just came to catch some fresh air, i'll be gone soon. please don't mind me."
does he not realize who you are? or has he finally come to terms with everything? "don't worry, mr choi. i'm leaving anyway."
when you turn around, you don't know who looks more in awe. more pathetic, better said. his jaw hangs as his eyes roam your figure. you know you aren't masking your expression, because choi san looks absolutely dashing. he wears a white button up, black slacks, a black vest and a tie. you know he dressed himself up because his tie hangs poorly around his neck. melanie must've tried fixing it, she had to. he didn't allow it.
"i don't think i've ever seen you in a dress." he breathes out. such a privilege to have an idol breathless because of your appearance. "you look beautiful."
"thank you. you look handsome as well, mr choi."
he doesn't complain about you calling him so. instead, he walks over, slow and careful. as if he'll scare you away if he moves any faster. he joins you by the fence, and soon enough, his scent envelops you. "i often forget how beautiful seoul is."
you hum, nodding your head.
"enjoying the party?"
"i'm up here. what do you think?"
a soft chuckle meets your ears. you miss hearing that. you allow yourselves a few moments of comfortable silence. nothing but the sound of the leaves rustling in the gentle summer breeze, distant sound of the city, and an occasional cricket. san is leaning on the fence with his arms covering the railing, and his chin resting on top. you, on the other hand, stand still with your palms gripping the same railing. your eyes betray you many times, choosing to glance his way more often than you'd like. he has his eyes closed as he breeze caresses his cheeks and moves the loose strands of his slicked back hair. he looks content.
"you smell cozy." he mumbles, eyes still closed. "like a vanilla candle."
it is your turn to chuckle. "your sinuses cleared up?"
and just like that, you betray yourself. the smirk on his lips is all you need to see. "so it was you."
"guilty." you turn around, leaning your back and elbows against the fence. you tilt your head back, exposing your neck and chest to the breeze. it helps cool you down. "i'm glad you feel better."
you hear him shuffle, before he opens his stupid mouth again. "you don't know how breathtaking you look."
tilting your head to the side, you can't help but glare at him. he is still in the same position, only now his cheek lays on the arms that cover the railing, using them like a pillow as he looks at you. he has never looked more soft and vulnerable.
"you're a dream."
"is this how it will go?" your voice is equally quiet. you don't get angry at him. you aren't irritated. you can't be, not when he looks at you like that. "you'll keep confessing, and we'll avoid each other for a while until you confess again the first chance you get?"
"i'm not confessing. i'm just stating facts. you look gorgeous. any sane man would see and say that if they were here instead of me." he then stands up straight, hands fixing his vest and tie. "i guess i'm just the lucky one. conveniently."
for a moment, you think he is going back to the party downstairs. but he simply plops on one of the deck chairs by the pool. he doesn't invite you over, but you still join him. you opt to sit on it sideways so you can face him. the pool water and the lights in it illuminate his slightly puffy face and rosy eyes. the moments when you hate flowers have become less rare since you started working for him. right now, you despise them.
"i was hoping you were right." his gaze is fixed on the water. "forced proximity. i prayed you were right. but i've seen you for five minutes tonight, and all i want to do is fall on my knees for you. beg you to give me a chance. to show you how good it can be, and how nobody can harm you in any way. to show you what it's like to be mine."
you stay silent. surprisingly, you don't feel annoyed with him anymore. you let him speak.
"i can't believe i ever doubted my feelings. i wanted to, for your sake. because you want nothing to do with me." your heart tightens. "you've made it clear multiple times, and i was trying to decide what you feel for you." the familiar lump in your throat appears. "i called you a liar, and accused you of breaking my heart, when you've rejected me so gently once. i was trying to make you doubt your own feelings." and your eyes sting.
"why are we back on page one?" your voice is hoarse.
san doesn't look at you yet. and it bothers you. "this might be the wine speaking out of me."
"you know you can't drink." you gently scold him.
"i didn't know what to do with myself. i was overwhelmed by everything. knowing that you are in the room but i can't see you. hearing you, smelling you. god, that scent. like the coziest warmest autumn evening. but you were still far from my eyes." the man says. he tilts his head back, resting it against the backrest. "then, i find you here. i told myself i wouldn't put you in an uncomfortable situation. and look what i'm doing."
you try swallowing, hoping to make the lump go away. but it stays stubborn. "it's okay. we're just talking. you're not doing anything to make me uncomfortable."
he closes his eyes again, this time enjoying the sound of the water and your scent that envelops him, even when there's a distance between you. it gives you time to admire him some more. you watch his chest rise and fall peacefully, and when your eyes land on the stupid tie, you can't help yourself. you stand up, walking over to him and sitting on the edge of the deck chair where he rests. he flinches, eyes shooting open. "what are you-"
"shh." you hush him. you've never been so close to him before. your body is pressed against his side as you lean over him, fingers working on loosening the tie so that you can do it properly. you pretend you don't feel his gaze on you. like you don't see his hand twitching, yearning to touch you. "i've spoiled you. you can't even tie your own tie."
he doesn't laugh. he simply gawks at you while you work on the piece of fabric. if he knew that that's all it takes to bring you closer to him, he would've worn his shirt and pants inside out. then, you flinch. your breath stops, as do your fingers. choi san cups your cheek, thumb brushing the corner of your lips. "it's obvious that you never wear red lipstick."
he moves his hand sooner than you'd like. the tip of his thumb is red, and before you can offer him a handkerchief, he brings it to his lips. the action is intimate, and your lips are on fire. you wish you'd smeared it a bit more. your eyes stay locked for a worrying amount of time. but san doesn't move. he doesn't lean in. he doesn't say anything.
you do. you find yourself in a trance, consumed by his scent and very being, and you lean in. slow and unsure at first. then, you feel yourself sliding off the chair. san's hand grabs your waist before you can fall, pulling you back on the chair and on top of his body. you don't resist. his eyes flutter shut first. it's now or never.
you close the gap, inch by inch, until the tip of your nose brushes against his. it's pure torture on both ends. your brain and heart are fighting a battle inside you, and san knows it. it's why he isn't making any moves besides holding your body secure so that you don't fall. he lets you set the pace. his warm breath caresses your lips. you can't help the painful exhale of desperation that leaves you, right before tears swell in your eyes.
"i can't." you quietly cry out. "i'm sorry."
san doesn't have time to process the situation. you are already standing, quickly tapping the corners of your eyes with your fingers and throwing your head back before the tears ruin your makeup. a scoff of disbelief leaves his lips. "why are you doing this to yourself? to me?"
"i'm not doing anything. it is wrong." your voice shakes. "i just- i drank some wine too and-"
"why are you denying yourself happiness?" he stands up as well and approaches you. you take a step back, just in case. you can't be tempted again. this was too dangerous. "why are you hurting both of us like this?"
"look, i'm tipsy. i don't want to do something that will give you hopes when i've told you many times that-"
"so what, you're telling me you go around kissing guys when you're tipsy? that i'm not special?" you know he isn't hurt, because he knows it isn't true. he is just trying to lure the truth out of you by making you angry. "do you do this with yeosang as well?"
"shut up." you sniffle. "don't even."
"talk to me. why is the idea of us so horrible to you?" his words are firm, but his tone gentle. he approaches you, and you can't help but step back, feeling overwhelmed. "you don't even need this job. you could do anything you want, i'd be your biggest supporter. you could quit, and-"
"it's not that simple!"
san is blurry before your eyes, just like the first night he confessed. this time, however, there isn't a wall to stop you from walking behind. but there is a pool.
your next step has your foot hanging in the air for a split second, right before a gasp leaves your mouth and you reach for san. your hand slips through his, and soon enough, your body is swallowed by cold water. san wastes no time in jumping after you. before you can sink any lower, his hands plant themselves on your waist, pulling your body against his as he swims to the surface. you didn't expect the pool to be so deep.
while you are busy coughing water and gasping for air, san has swam over to the edge of the pool where the water is a bit more shallow. his voice is nothing but a hum in your ears as you try to recover. your body trembles against his. from the cold water, and from shock. it's just water. but you never learned how to swim. each attempt resulted in you having a panic attack and ruining the fun for everyone else.
"princess." his voice finally reaches your ears. "i've got you."
"san," you cry out. he hushes you, simply hugging you closer and resting your head into the crook of his neck.
"it's okay. i'm right here." he hates that he breaks the boundary by kissing the top of your head. but it is his way of comforting, and he doesn't think in the moment. "i'm so sorry."
his drenched shirt is scrunched between your fingers, but he couldn't care less. he's glad you aren't running away from him after falling in because of him. "please don't let go."
"i won't, but we need to get you out of the water." he gently tucks his fingers under your chin, lifting your head so that he can look you in the eyes reassuringly. panic sets in, and you start trembling more.
"no, no!" you pull on his shirt, latching yourself onto him. "don't let go, please don't let go. please, please, please, please-"
"princess," he cups your cheek with one hand. "i'm right here. i won't let go of you. can you trust me?"
"no."
san knows you don't mean that you can't trust him. you aren't ready to move, and he understands. he tucks your head back into the crook of his neck, and leans against the pool wall for support. he gently sways you in the water, eyes fixed in the way your hair and gown move under the gentle current of the pool springs.
time stops. it feels so natural, being this close to him. his hand rubs your back in an attempt to warm you up in the cold water. he hushes your quiet whimpers, lips brushing against your ear shell. "i've got you."
"don't let go."
"i won't. i promise." the man assures.
you don't know how long you stay like that. all you know is that san has managed to calm you down and is pulling you out of the water. even though it's summer, you are still shivering. san's brows are furrowed, worry painting his pretty features.
"my phone is drenched, it won't turn on. can you stay here while i go get seonghwa?" he crouches in front of you while you sit on the chair, his vest that he managed to discard before jumping covering your upper body. "i'll be right back."
"okay."
seonghwa doesn't judge. he doesn't have sarcastic remarks. he doesn't scold.
hongjoong does. as if you weren't overwhelmed already, hongjoong has decided that scolding and yelling inside the car was the best thing to do right now.
"let me just make this clear: i'm not mad at her, i'm mad at you." he looks at san through the rearview mirror.
you have sunken into the car seats in the back, wrapped in san's vest and seonghwa's coat. even though hongjoong's words aren't meant for you, you can't help the new wave of tears that coat your cheeks. you have trouble breathing again.
seonghwa notices you detaching again, a new panic attack threatening to pull you into its void. "joong."
"what? i'm tired of him, seriously. why doesn't mingi have any problems? i never had to interfere with him and jaz and save their asses. they're careful, and-"
"joong."
your breathing quickens. san doesn't notice, even though he sits in the back with you. he is busy fighting with hongjoong. the situation you were scared of happening is unfolding right now, and nothing happened between san and you. you have already gotten him into trouble. fingers reach for the button on the car door in an attempt to open the window. once it does, you stick your head out, then try breathing.
"why are you being such a jackass about it? it was an accident! you think i wanted to push her?"
"do you think i care? it's not about tonight only, san. it's about you for the past few months. you aren't subtle at all!"
"guys," seonghwa says a bit louder, eyes switching from the road to the rearview mirror every now and then.
"and just what have i been doing for the past few months that you think you have the right to be yelling at me right now?"
"having to explain why you keep dragging her everywhere, having to convince the manager to even let you do that, going to such lengths to delete videos and pictures of you gawking at her, getting dispatch off our asses-"
"and doing all that for mingi wasn't an issue? for me it was?"
"i didn't have to do it for mingi! he was careful!"
"ENOUGH!"
the car stops abruptly on the side of the road. seonghwa exits, rushing over to your side and opening the door. you fall into his arms, a sobbing mess once again, struggling to catch your breath.
"it's okay." he pulls you into a hug.
"i'm sorry." you feel pathetic. it's all you can say. "i'm so sorry. it's all my fault."
"it's not your fault. hongjoong and san are just being pricks right now." the older man pats your head. "do you want to go home or would you like to stay with us?"
"my home, please?"
"you got it." he helps you sit comfortably again, then fastens your seatbelt for you.
the rest of the ride is quiet, with san fidgeting with the ends of the sleeves on seonghwa's coat that shields and warms your wet body, quietly telling you that he is here.
when you wake up, it is still dark. you rub the sleepiness out of your eyes, and meet san's focused face. he carries you in his arms, going from door to door trying to figure out where you live. once he finds your last name, he struggles fitting the key in the keyhole.
"let me." you whisper. "put me down."
once your feet touch the ground, you need a moment to steady yourself. your apartment is just as you left it: a mess as you tried to get ready for the event. you are grateful that the darkness has swallowed it. san doesn't need to know how messy you are outside of work, where you are always organized and tidy.
"uh... do you want slippers?" you point towards a spare pair of slippers that are only used by your family when they visit. "i mean... if you want to stay for a while. or do you have to go back immediately?"
san looks at the slippers, then at you. "do you want me to stay?"
"please." your voice is so low, that if san wasn't so focused on you, he wouldn't have heard it.
"i'll just text hwa. my phone came to life."
you nod. "i'll uh... go put on some tea, i guess. what's the time?"
"does it matter? if you crave tea, i'll make it for you." he simply replies, eyes glued to his phone as he types a message.
now that you look back at your time working with him, san had moments where he loved acting as your boyfriend. you simply didn't allow yourself those delusions. you ignored them. but san loved buying you things, making you try various food and drinks, took pictures of you, gave you his jacket even when you really didn't need it. the response came so naturally from him, as if he usually makes you tea whenever you crave it.
"well?" his full attention is back on you as soon as his phone is tucked in his back pocket. "what does your heart desire?"
"honestly? i'd kill for a cup of cocoa."
your answer makes san chuckle fondly. he makes his way to your kitchen, as if he knew the place by heart. you're grateful that you've decided to wash the dishes today. you have a habit of hoarding dishes before making yourself wash them. you'll do all chores without a problem, from vacuuming to washing the windows. but dishes? you hate yourself for it. it is such a simple task, really. but your brain makes it hard for some reason.
san rummages through your cupboard, not bothering to ask where anything is. he finds the cocoa powder, then the milk in the fridge. "how chocolaty?"
"i trust you."
the clock shows a little past one after midnight. it is monday, and the boys have a day off. still, you can't help but feel bad for causing a mess and ruining their sleep schedule. while san busies himself with making two cups of cocoa, you quickly text seonghwa.
y/n: i'm so sorry for tonight. please tell mr kim that it is all my fault, that mr choi had nothing to do with it. i'm truly sorry for putting you in those positions. i promise i'll do everything to fix it and assure that it never happens again. again, i am so sorry.
park seonghwa: don't be silly. hongjoong was just being an ass. between you and me, he might've been a bit tipsy. plus, eden is on his back about the comeback. he was just unleashing himself on innocent people. don't burden your little head with it.
y/n: i can't help but feel guilty. no matter what i do, i'm messing mr choi up. i've distanced myself from him in an attempt to fix this, but it's only getting worse.
park seonghwa: san is already messed up on his own, even without you. he's been a menace before you came along, don't worry. he just became worse when you arrived. the two of you should take your time to figure out exactly how you feel. i won't say what i know, or how much i know, but i'll give you one advice: talk. don't hold back. that's the only way you'll resolve this.
y/n: thank you, mr park
park seonghwa: you know, it feels weird having an atiny call me that. you are the only one still calling us that in private among the assistants, and you technically know us longest and best. think you can work on that? :)
y/n: i'll try :)
park seonghwa: yay! now go before he gets all pissy and pouty again. warm yourself up, we don't want you catching a cold. good night, tiny ♥
y/n: good night, seonghwa. ♥
you sigh with content. one thing at a time.
"where's your bathroom?" san asks as he pours the hot cocoa in two cups.
"first door on the left."
he comes back with a towel and clothes. was he in this apartment before, but you weren't aware? how did he find your pajamas?
"here," he hands you the clothes, then turns back to stirring the cocoa.
the drenched gown is replaced by a cozy t-shirt and sleep shorts. you don't pay much attention to what you are wearing, until san looks over and chuckles. "what?"
"ateez world tour." he reads out loud.
you look down, and right across your chest, the words he just said. that bastard. "you did this on purpose."
"i promise, i didn't. it was folded inside out and just laid on your chair on top of a pile of other clothes. i thought it was a normal black t-shirt. the pile waiting to be ironed, i assume?"
right, aside from washing dishes, you hated ironing clothes as well. you can't be bothered to pick up the gown, instead pushing it with your foot to the corner. seonghwa's coat and san's vest are neatly folded and placed in the laundry basket.
"come here." he calls you over.
your bare feet tap against the cold parquet floor as you walk over. at no point this evening did you know what san was about to do next, and neither do you know now. he picks you up by your waist, placing you on the kitchen counter. the towel is soon in his hands, drying your wet locks of hair. he stands between your legs like it's nothing. like you do it every day. like all of this didn't happen because you refuse to say your true feelings out loud.
"i can hear you thinking," he whispers.
"i got it." you snatch the towel from his hand, a little harsher than you wanted. he frowns, but lets you have it. "thanks."
you stay sat on the counter, swinging your legs in the air as you watch him focus on the cups. as if he was making the world's most complicated cocoa, using a dozen ingredients instead of two.
"what now?" you dare ask.
"now..." he sighs. "we drink cocoa."
"you know what i mean." you accept the cup from his hands, and your fingers inevitably brush against his. your skin is on fire, and god, it takes everything in you not to drop that cup and pull him close to you. "are we going to act like this is normal? my boss in my apartment at this hour, while i sit here in my sleepwear?"
"you keep worrying your pretty head with stupid things." san takes a sip of his beverage. he hums, then takes another one. "you were right. cocoa is much better than tea."
"san."
pretty eyes finally lock with yours. his brows relax, and his face softens under your gaze. "yes?"
"you need to put yourself in my shoes. i can't help but feel like i'm taking advantage of you. i'm a fan. a staff."
"so?"
"the fandom will be against it. the company as well."
"and why do you care about their opinion when the only one that should matter is ours?" it feels like he is scolding you. you know he isn't. he is just getting annoyed at the situation both of you are in. "this could be the best thing that can happen to us."
after a moment of silent thinking, you sigh. "i have to sleep on it."
you don't ask san to stay. he doesn't offer to leave. he just takes his place on the couch once he tucks you in your own bed, but not without making a witty comment about the photocard holder and his photocard that lay on the nightstand next to the bed. "you're so cute it hurts. want me to sign it?"
"go away." you bury your head in the pillow. "and leave the door open. i don't like being in the dark, and the street lights have been broken for a while now. leave the bathroom light on, and don't close that door neither."
with each moment that passes, san keeps finding out more things about you. things so unimportant that everyone would forget after a moment or two, but he remembers. it makes him fall for you harder and harder. right now, you are impossibly cute, confessing that you are scared of dark. "i'll be on the couch. if you need anything, don't hesitate to wake me up."
"okay. thank you." your voice is muffled by the pillow. you hear him chuckle, then feel his hand pat your head playfully. "good night, princess."
"good night."
the second time you open your eyes, it is light. for a split second. then, booming thunder. it's been a while since a thunderstorm this strong has hit the city. overcoming your fear of it for a split second, you run over to the windows where the curtains move from the strong wind. the wind makes it hard, pushing the window against you as you try your hardest to shut it. the shuffling and grunting must've awoken san, because soon enough, he gently nudges you aside and closes the window with little to no effort. the room lights up once again, causing you to flinch and cover your ears. your heart beats loud while you await the loud noise to echo in the room.
once it passes, san takes your hands in his, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs on your knuckles. "want to-?"
"will you sleep in here tonight?" you beat him to it. you don't know where you're getting the confidence, or the audacity. you're doing everything contrary to what your previous self wanted and worked hard to maintain.
a few months ago, you were going crazy because san laid on your bed for a few minutes back in milan. now, it is happening again. he tries to cover you with the blanket once he lays down, only to find you completely submerged from head to toe in it. "hey, where did you go?"
"i'm scared. leave me be."
"is this how you sleep when there's a thunderstorm? with your little head hiding under the blankets? suffocating?"
"san..." you whine, begging him to stop teasing you.
you forget how to breathe for a moment when the blanket lifts and san dives in below, joining you. "my name sounds so pretty from your lips."
"i didn't invite you here to flirt." you scold, gently poking his chest with your finger. "if both of us are here under, who is keeping watch out there?"
"my photocard." he laughs.
a gasp of disbelief escapes your mouth. he'll never let go of this. "one more word and you're losing blanket shield privilege."
"is that so?" he cocks an eyebrow. his hand then sneakily finds its way to your waist, only to poke you and make you jolt. his other hand joins, poking at the other side, until you are a laughing and screaming mess and the blanket slips from both of you.
he's strong, and doesn't budge, no matter how hard you fight back. his figure covers your entire body as he hovers above you, pinning your wrists above your head with a single hand while his other hand shows no mercy by tickling you. "stop, please!"
"say i have blanket privilege."
"you have blanket privilege!"
"now say i'm your favourite boss." he halts for a moment, giving you the chance to say it.
you don't, instead sticking your tongue out in an attempt to further annoy him. it works, an exaggerated gasp leaving his lips. you use the chance to slip one of your hands out of his grip, poking his side. he yelps, then falls on the bed next to you. soon enough you find yourself on top of him, giving him a taste of his own medicine.
san is incredibly strong. you've witnessed many situations since you worked here, from carrying two members on his back to picking up his makeup stylist's desk all by himself and moving it where she wanted. he has more strength in his pinky finger than you have in your whole body. yet he still lets you pin his hands above his head, your smaller hand struggling to grasp his wrists. he plays along. he lets you have it.
he isn't that ticklish. but you are too proud and excited that you've managed to tackle him that you don't even notice. your giggles are everything san wants to hear for the rest of his life. your fingers poke at his sides, over and over, and you are so into it. then, a grunt.
you stop, confused. san doesn't say anything. he simply stares at you, soft eyes admiring your features in the dark. it is only when his gaze drops to where you're sitting that you realise. you don't speak. you don't breathe, either. suddenly, you feel him. below layers of clothes, his body burns hot. as does yours, especially your face and core.
when light illuminates the room for a moment again, you flinch a little, but the clear sight below you makes you forget about your fear. san looks... submissive. his hands stay pinned above his head, and you remember that your loose grip is nothing compared to what he can do. his hair falls over his pretty eyes, which stare back at you through half closed eyelids. lips sticking in a natural pout, plump and inviting. oh, so inviting.
"sannie," you test the waters with a low whisper.
a whimper. a fucking whimpers leaves this man's lips. he doesn't seem to be embarrassed. instead, he gulps, and bites his lip. you roll your hips, so lightly and slowly, not even sure that he'll feel it. but he does. and he shudders. it makes your body feel as if it's on fire. you've never had an effect on someone like this. and you're enjoying every bit of it.
san craves your attention. your validation. he always has. you've just been connecting it to his teasing nature. didn't really take him seriously. now, you have him wrapped around your finger. and you don't know what to do with it. a whole man, many girls crush and fantasy, lays down at your mercy. and you? you move the hair out of his eyes, press your lips against his forehead, and cup his cheek. "one thing at a time."
𓆩⟡𓆪
monday morning comes and goes, with you waking up alone in bed. the storm has calmed at some point during the night, but you didn't feel or hear anything. except the pair of arms that have held you through it all. you didn't push him away. you've worked for him long enough to know that san needs to hold onto something to fall asleep. it wasn't on purpose. he fell asleep before you, and at some point, he let go of the pillow he was hugging and replaced it with you.
san respects your boundaries. sure, you might need to tell him once or twice to stop calling you nicknames or move his hand from your lower back, but other than that, san tries his hardest to keep his hands to himself. you wonder if it's like that with melanie. if enough time passes, will san prove you wrong or right? will he start developing feelings for her? is forced proximity truly the answer?
selfishly, you hope it isn't.
your phone rings early in the evening, the manager's name glaring at you from the screen. you groan out loud. this is your day off. but then again, being yeosang's assistant has given you many days off. you can take this phone call.
"yes, sihun?"
"pack your stuff, you're flying early tomorrow. yeosang has been invited to a fashion show in two days, and because you have decided it would be a good idea to mess up perfectly good pair ups that have functioned from the beginning, the schedules are all fucked up."
"wait, what?" you find yourself standing up from the couch. you swear you can still smell him on it. "also, that was an idea. don't blame me as if you were forced."
"not only was yeosang's invitation to the paris fashion show lost, we also missed an opportunity to collab with a huge western artist. does the name megan the stallion ring any bells? plus, yunho was offered a role in a drama, and-"
"why are you blaming me for all this?" your heart beats fast, threatening to jump out of your chest. "what kind of organization did you have in the first place that a minor change like switching assistants costed you lost invitations and collabs?"
"if you want to return from paris as yeosang's assistant, or just an employee of the kq entertainment, i would recommend to zip it and start packing. five o'clock sharp in front of the building, not a minute late. if you're late, don't bother to show up. at all, ever."
"but-"
"five am, y/n."
and as if that wasn't enough to ruin your evening of rewatching the walking dead and stuffing your face with pringles, a single message causes you to sit back down on the couch.
choi san: you requested to switch? wish i'd known sooner, i wouldn't have wasted both our time. didn't realize you'd go to such lenghts, but then again, i really must be that annoying and can't take a hint. i apologize for crossing the boundary last night. rest assured, it won't happen again.
y/n: it's not like that !message failed to send!
y/n: san? !message failed to send!
this user has blocked you.
you're about to find out whether or not you were right, after all. far from eyes, far from mind.
𓆩⟡𓆪
yeosang wearing prada and sitting front row on a fashion show, looking ethereal and socializing with those around him is all the fandom ever wanted. you proudly watch from the side, and every now and then, yeosang's eyes widen slightly as they frantically search for you. you are being pushed around by photographers, and can't stand still in one place. when he finally finds you, you can see relief wash over his pretty features. you nod assuringly, urging him to talk to the celebrities around him.
if you thought san needed reassuring and validation, yeosang needed it times two. his english skills have improved in the short time you have been working for him, but you are the only person he could practice with. now, surrounded by only english speakers, and without your poor and broken korean to help, yeosang felt like he was thrown in shark water without a way out. you can see panic set in his eyes whenever someone speaks too fast or when he forgets a word.
but all is gone as soon as he locks eyes with you. you are his life jacket, his boat in this situation, and he is holding onto you for dear life as doja cat and zendaya keep talking to him and over him. at one point, yeosang leans back so that the two can speak comfortably, and they waste no time in leaning over him and continuing the conversation. he gives you a funny look, and you can't help the giggle that leaves your mouth.
yeosang doesn't stay at the after party. as soon as everyone has finished taking pictures with him, and before an interviewer can get his hands on him, yeosang disappears into the crowd and finds you. "take me away."
once back at the hotel, he insists that you join him for a late dinner. you hesitate before walking into his hotel room. strangely, you don't feel weird for sitting on his bed and eating with him at this hour, all alone with him. perhaps because you don't harbor the same feelings towards him as you do for san. yeosang is sweet. he isn't a tease, he doesn't make you question your sanity and make you roll your eyes hundred times a day.
"how's the pasta?" he asks, glancing over at your plate of truffle pasta. "any good?"
"it's great." you nod. "how's your steak?"
he doesn't respond, instead nodding with his mouth full. he takes a sip of whiskey from his nightstand, then wastes no time in stuffing his mouth again. you can't help but laugh fondly.
"didn't take you for a whiskey kind of guy." you confess.
"what kind of guy did you take me for?" the man raises his eyebrow playfully.
you hum at first, as if thinking. yeosang cuts his steak in peace, until your answer causes him to stop and gasp dramatically. "honestly? a banana milk kind of guy."
"you take that back." he threatens with his fork. "it's strawberry milk. don't disrespect me."
you enjoy this playful banter. no pressure, no expectations. just the tiredness and tipsiness talking out of both of you. you try the whiskey, he tries the leftover pasta. eventually, half the bottle of whiskey is gone. you didn't think you'd enjoy it that much. yeosang wasn't of any help. moreover, he encouraged you to drink.
now you struggle to move from the comfortable bed you're sat on, even after the man plops on it and closes his eyes, muttering a good night.
"you can't go to sleep with your makeup on."
"watch me." he simply covers himself up to his neck.
your words have no effect on him. they simply enter one ear and exit out the other. frankly, you're not sure they even get to his ear. it feels like they're bouncing off it and hitting you back in the face. in just a few moments, you raid the hotel bathroom in search of wet wipes and any kind of face serum he has brought along. it didn't help that he had a whole line of skincare on the counter. you don't know those things. he'll survive one night without it.
the moment the wet wipe touches his cheek, yeosang's eyes shoot open.
"that's cold." he frowns.
"yeah, well, suck it up."
yeosang's gaze is so much different than san's. san is intense, and dark. yeosang's is curious, and sweet. brown orbs glimmer as he follows your hand movements that reveal his face bit by bit. by the time you have wiped almost everything off, yeosang is wide awake. a light shudder leaves his lips when your fingers brush the wipe over his birthmark.
"there it is." you smile as you reveal it. "pretty."
the man blushes furiously. you think it's the alcohol. he hopes you don't know it's something else.
"close your eyes. you have a bit of eyeshadow left."
you don't need to tell him twice. he makes your job so much easier that you could just kiss him on the head sometimes.
"warning, this is also going to be cold."
you've done this countless times with san. but the moment your fingers touch his skin directly, your heart skips a beat. this isn't casual. not with yeosang. you try not to notice the way his eyes stare at you as your fingers rub the serum on his glass skin. the way he grips the cover. the way he slightly squirms under it. the way he gulps whenever your fingers touch the area around his birthmark.
"almost done," you whisper as your hand moves onto the space between his eyebrows and his forehead. it seems to be another sweet spot of his, because he almost purrs when your fingers gently rub the serum into his skin. you don't want to stop. not when he closes his eyes and hums contently while you do something as simple as putting a product on him, something that he does himself every day.
"no wonder san is in love with you."
you freeze. fuck, does everyone know?
"a person just puts their walls down around you and trusts you completely." he rambles on. "your mere presence is very comforting. i hate that he got to you first."
"okay." you sigh. the wipes are thrown into the small bin near the nightstand, and you have to walk a few steps around the room before you can speak. your thoughts are scattered, and at this point, you might have to ask yeosang to slap you to make sure this is not one of your daydreaming shifts when you used to work at the coffee shop. "let's pause. just for a moment."
"oh, i'm sorry." the man sits up straight, rubbing his eyes. "i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. i just mean that... a person can trust you easily. honestly, since you started working with me, i've stopped using my brain."
"yeosang." you sigh once again.
wide curious eyes look at you, and the words stop in your throat. is it possible that the forced proximity was an issue on your end? this is surely the alcohol. and the way yeosang is starting to act exactly like san. maybe you have a type.
no. what you have is a serious case of delusion. you need a vacation as soon as your feet touch korean soil.
you turn the lamp near the bed off, ensure that yeosang has a glass of fresh water in case he wakes up during the night, and prepare his outfit for tomorrow on the armchair. he only watches, not uttering a word. it isn't until you reach the door and light switch that you hear shuffling, and you turn your head to see him laying back down.
"good night, mr kang."
you miss the pout on his lips once the main light is off, but not the quiet "good night, tiny" before exiting and heading for your room.
𓆩⟡𓆪
your paid time off is approved within a day. manager sihun agrees that you need time away, but for different reasons. you're offended.
"it feels like your quality of work has declined."
you have to hide your snarky remarks. if that is what gets you time off, then let him have it.
in no time you find yourself sipping a freshly squeezed lemonade on your balcony. a book in your hand, fresh out of the shower, hair drying in the sun, with the whole day ahead of you. until your work phone vibrates on the table. you ignore it. you don't know why you even brought it out there in the first place. a habit, maybe.
the page of the book is barely flipped before the phone vibrates again. and again. and again.
"are you serious right now?" you groan.
park seonghwa: hey :)
park seonghwa: can i call you?
park seonghwa: oh wait
park seonghwa: you're on you time off?
park seonghwa: imsosorrypleaseforgivemejustignoremekbyehavefunonyourtimeoffdontmissustoomuch<3
y/n: it's fine, mr park. how can i help you?
park seonghwa: hi!
park seonghwa: oh :(
park seonghwa: mr park?
y/n: is something wrong? are you understaffed?
the dancing dots appear in the corner of the screen near seonghwa's profile picture. then, they disappear. and reappear. and disappear once again.
y/n: mr park, may i know wh|
your typing is interrupted by his name taking up the screen. with a sigh, you press the green icon.
"mr park?"
"first of all, i don't like that." he complains on the other side. "yeosang broke you."
"i assure you, mr kang had nothing to do with anything." you can't help the eye roll. "may i know-"
your words are cut short once again by a voice in the background, then a crash. "san, you absolute moron. i am so sorry, ma'am. we'll pay for that and clean up the mess."
you stay silent, eavesdropping the conversation. seonghwa's voice turns into an angry whisper, but the phone is close enough for you to hear everything.
"pull yourself together. there's six cameras on you, and you're drunk from half a cup of beer?"
"i'm not drunk."
"you're getting there. in the middle of namhae, in broad daylight, fooling around with that gopro and breaking stuff. what else do you call that? you're lucky the staff are busy cleaning what you just did and their attention is off you. i'm calling y/n, just so you know."
"i don't care."
"you don't care? alright. hello, y/n?"
"give me that."
"yes, he's being a pain in the ass. can you come over?"
"give me that!"
"what's that? you'll be here in fifteen? great."
"park seonghwa, give me that phone!"
"too late. she hung up."
you hear complaining and whining, then shuffling. he must've exited the room they were in, because seonghwa is back on the phone.
"i just wanted you to hear how miserable and pain in the ass he is."
"with all due respect, what does that have to do with me?"
"i'll send you a video. i want you to watch it, then come to whatever conclusion you want. i'm not forcing you to do anything, nor am i guilt tripping you. i'd just hate to see two people suffer a heartbreak they don't need. it's all up to you."
once the call ends, you feel as if your head will burst. you selfishly wish seonghwa hadn't reached out to you. just when you got san out of your head. you can't have one day of peace at this job you used to love.
the promised video plays on your screen, showing san in the back of a car and seonghwa next to him. the older man holds the phone so that san doesn't know he is being filmed. the familiar pout is present on the younger ones lips as he looks out the window, arms crossed over his chest.
"sannie, you're sulking again." seonghwa teases.
"leave me be."
"we're filming content for the fans. will you be like this the whole day?"
when san turns his head towards seonghwa, and the camera, you don't expect his eyes to be red and glossy. then, with the tiniest voice ever, he mumbles. "i miss her."
"i know." seonghwa sighs. "but you drove her away. you blocked her number without giving her a chance to explain."
"i know i'm stupid. you don't have to say it." his fingers play with the buttons of his shirt. you can't help but thank seonghwa for giving you the first peek at san dressed in a white shirt and black slacks, sleeves rolled up with his forearms out for everyone to enjoy. "she hates me."
"she doesn't hate you."
"you don't know that. for all we know, she thinks that you hate her."
san turns his head to look at seonghwa abruptly, then starts shaking it. "no. it's not like that."
"well, if i was her, that's the impression i'd get."
"i could never hate her. she could break my heart over and over, and i still wouldn't find it in those broken bits to hate her. she's all i think about. i thought the distance would do us well. it's killing me, especially seeing her near yeosang. or anyone that isn't me. do you know that i haven't washed or used my coat that she wore in amsterdam when it was cold? it still smells like her."
"loser." seonghwa tries to lighten up the situation by pinching his thigh.
"ow! stop it." san isn't having it. "i genuinely miss her. i'm so close to showing up at her door and falling to my knees, i swear."
he then returns to silence and turns his head back towards the window. the video ends with seonghwa smiling at the camera.
choi san will be the death of you.
𓆩⟡𓆪
the week passes fast. you'd wake up in the morning, one past noon being morning to you, rot your brain on social media, and before you knew it, the sun was down and you were transferring yourself from the couch on the bed. your diet consisted of shin noodles and a single boiled egg, paired with unnatural amounts of red bull (i just had to describe myself i'm so sorry <3). luckily, you didn't have any pets. you wouldn't have the energy to walk them or take care of them.
seonghwa's phone call ruined your plans. you wanted to spend the week reading all those books you've purchased and never have time to read, go for morning walks, maybe even go to a spa. but every time you closed your eyes, you saw san.
you saw his hurt face the first time you've rejected him. you saw his pout. you saw his glossy eyes. you heard his voice.
your last day was no different. kuromi pajamas, mouthful of noodles, the new season of your favourite show playing in the background while you mindlessly scroll on tiktok. until the doorbell interrupts you.
when you look through the peephole, you don't see anybody. an empty hallway. just a glimpse of somebody running downstairs. you shouldn't open it. everything about it screams danger. but you do anyway, sticking your head out first. step by step, you make it to the railing, and then lean over it in hopes of catching the person that just interrupted your last night of so called selfcare. he wears a hood, but something in the way he walks is familiar to you.
"hey!" you call out.
the person stops. the hallway lights illuminate the rings on his finger, one of them especially familiar to you. you bought it on your trip to italy, and gave it to none other than choi san for his birthday.
"mr choi." disappointment is evident in your voice. "will you please come back so we can discuss your need to ding-dong-ditch me?"
you can see his figure slouch. slowly, as if he'll scare you if he moves any faster, he makes his way back up the stairs and stops at the top. he doesn't raise his head to look at you yet. not when you step away from the railing, and not when you stand in front of him. only when your hand finds its spot under his chin and raises his head, his eyes find yours. he wears glasses. they give him the nerdy boyfriend image.
"what are you doing with yourself, mr choi?"
"what..." his voice comes out hoarse, and he clears his throat before continuing. "what do you mean?"
your hand leaves him sooner than both of you would like. you step back, then answer. "i mean, what are you doing chasing a fan? a staff member? while your phone is bursting with messages from the most drop dead gorgeous and talented idols."
"you don't know anything." he simply replies.
he doesn't move. you do. you walk back into your apartment, leaving the door open. you only spare him a glance over your shoulder; a silent invitation. he takes it. closing the door behind him, taking off his shoes and placing them neatly on the shoe rack, wearing the slippers he claimed last time. it all felt natural. you felt natural.
"red bull?" you offer.
he can't help the quiet chuckle when he sees your head in the fridge. "no, thank you."
"hmph," you purse your lips. "i've got cola, melon milkis, a week old carton of orange juice, chocolate milk, and two bottles of soju: peach and strawberry. you pick."
"a glass of water is fine."
"boring." you say.
he knows you are joking. still, he rolls his eyes playfully and joins you in the kitchen. "i'll have a red bull, then."
"which one?"
"what do you mean which one? there's more than- oh. okay." you open the fridge door fully and step away, revealing the colorful collection to a surprised san. "you little addict."
"says the man who lives off lays and milkis." you bite back.
"alright. give me the green one."
"which green one?"
"there's two?"
"duh." you say, rolling your eyes. "the light green and dark green."
"i trust you."
in a few minutes, san and you are settled on the balcony couch, sipping the energy drinks and looking at the busy streets below. the couch is big enough for three people to sit comfortably, yet san has squeezed himself in the corner. you sit on it sideways, facing him. it doesn't seem as if he thought any of this through. he came here on impulse, you know it. you know him.
"how's working with yeosang?" he fidgets with the can.
"that's what you came to talk about?" you tilt your head to the side so that it leans against the backrest.
"no." he mumbles.
"you didn't answer my question, san." his name out of your lips has him perk up. "what are you doing chasing after a fan?"
"i'm not chasing after a fan. i'm chasing after my personal assistant. well, ex personal assistant."
"does that sound better in your mind?"
he opts for silence again. you're making it difficult, yet he is willing to try, again and again. he wouldn't have come here for no reason. the man takes another sip of his can, as to avoid talking. your can is downed already, and your lips and throat feel dry. you leave the balcony just to get the two bottles of soju, then plop back on the sofa.
"here." you set the bottles on the table, allowing him to choose. he abandons the can of red bull and reaches for the peach soju.
"i thought i wasn't allowed to drink." he says, then brings the beverage to his lips.
"take small sips, san. we've got time. unless you have somewhere to be?"
he shakes his head. "no. even if i did, i would've cancelled."
"if you say so." you take a sip of the alcoholic beverage, and san mimics you.
his gaze is locked on the city through the glass balcony, and his face is still covered by his hoodie. in an attempt to relax his stiff posture and nervous fidgeting of hands, you sprawl out your legs and rest your feet on his lap. instead of relaxing, san further stiffens, the soju bottle in his hand stuck in a deathly grip. you try to pull them back to yourself, seeing that you've caused further discomfort. yet san's hand simply finds its spot on your legs, thumb rubbing soothing circles on your skin where your pajama bottoms have hiked up.
"sannie." you call softly.
you swear you hear a shuddered breath. his head leans on the backrest, and he tilts it sideways so that he can look at you. he scrunches his nose so that his glasses sit better. "hm?"
"talk to me." you urge him. "say what's on your mind. you didn't come here to ask me about yeosang. or to sit in silence."
he hums again. "the silence was comforting. but no, it's not what i came for. though, now that i think about it, i think i did enough talking. i came to hear what you have to say. if you have anything to say."
"you were honest with me up until now. and i appreciate that." you start. it is your turn to pour your heart out. "and it is only fair that i do the same. but i think it would be more interesting to lead this conversation with questions."
"like twenty-one questions?" he immediately gets it.
"right. i'll give you a head start. you can ask me three questions."
"one is enough. as you said, we have time." he doesn't take long to figure out what he wants to ask you. words smoothly slip out of his mouth. "have you slept on it?
"and why do you care about their opinion when the only one that should matter is ours?" it feels like he is scolding you. you know he isn't. he is just getting annoyed at the situation both of you are in. "this could be the best thing that can happen to us."
after a moment of silent thinking, you sigh. "i have to sleep on it."
right. you left him without an answer. technically, he left himself without an answer. "i didn't get enough sleep to decide."
he laughs. "meanie."
"my turn, then. since you don't want the head start." you take a sip while you think. the gentle touch on your legs is a distraction. for a man so big and tough, choi san has the softest hands in the world. "when did you realize your... feelings for me?"
it feels odd. feelings for you. choi san has feelings for you. such feelings that he keeps coming back, no matter how many times you reject him. if you were him, you'd hate yourself. yet san looks at you with such fondness in his eyes, that for the first time in a while since you parted ways with him, you find yourself looking away and blushing furiously. only he has the power to make you feel small, yet safe.
"well?" you clear your throat.
"it started in london. when i begged you to join me on a secret mission to five guys in the middle of the night, and you came with me. after that we went for a walk because i overate. i think the exact moment i felt something fuzzy in my stomach was when i plopped on the bench and held onto my stomach, and you had the time of your life giggling and taking photos. i realized then that i loved that side of you, and that i might be falling for you. then, i was sure when we went to amsterdam, and you were so excited to go for a walk and buy souvenirs that you forgot your jacket at the hotel. i lent you my coat, and when i saw it on you, i knew that i wanted you to keep borrowing my clothes."
you remember seonghwa's video where san confessed he hasn't washed or used that coat since you did. you look his way again, only to find his eyes still fixed on you. he examines your face in search of any negative emotion. but you only smile at him, causing him to breathe out in relief.
"my turn. did you really mean what you said back in milan? when i first confessed to you?"
"it's hard to explain." you sigh. "just because i was doing my job, doesn't mean i didn't enjoy it."
"so i'm not a spoiled and disobedient boss?" he presses in a teasing voice.
"not all the time. and that's two questions, sir. now i get to ask two." you dig your heel into his thigh as a way to punish him, and he returns the action by pinching your calf. "ow!"
"you're being mean again." he pouts.
"only for you." the alcohol is starting to get to you, because in no way would sober you wink at san and continue the conversation like it's nothing. like you don't see him blushing and looking away, a smile dancing on his lips. "you bring out the worst in me, it seems."
"so it's my fault." he laughs. "go on, then. ask."
"hmm..." you trail, thinking. "you've gotten plenty of confessions from many idols. how come i am the one that peaked the interest of the choi san?"
"first of all, the choi san? i'm not that special."
"yes, you are. you have millions falling on their knees for you. you're one of the most popular and influential idols right now. so many rookies look up to you, want to be you. sometimes it seems like you aren't aware of your popularity. guys want to be you, or be with you, girls as well. and-"
"second of all," he interrupts you, not believing a single word out of your mouth, "all those confessions don't mean much to me. i don't feel any connection to those people, and honestly, i don't want to waste my time to find out whether or not i'll feel any. i like to live in my own bubble, with the guys and our staff. it's familiar. it's cozy."
right, you forgot his introverted side for a moment. "still. as a long time fan of many groups in the industry, i've never seen idols as pretty as the ones in this generation."
"no amount of beauty will make a true man swoon if their personality is a zero. only those who are shallow won't look past a face."
"so you settled for me because i'm a little ugly but have a personality?"
you expected him to laugh with you. it was funny in your head. but the man simply looks at you, brows furrowed. your laughter dies out. you just had to ruin it.
"sorry." you mumble.
"don't ever say that again." he doesn't scold you. he isn't angry. he is disappointed. "i can't believe you would ever think of yourself like that."
"it was just a silly joke."
"i don't like it. it breaks my heart." his voice is quiet. "i have- actually, never mind. my turn, was it?"
"you have...? you have what?" you set the bottle down and sit up straight, legs still on his lap. "choi san don't leave me hanging."
"it's stupid. if i show you, i might as well just jump from here to save myself from humiliation."
"okay, now i need to know. you can't just say that and then move on." he avoids your pleading eyes.
you pull your legs away from him, and before he can protest, you get on your knees, still on the couch, and clasp your hands. he knows he's weak. yet he still looks at you, and he wants to smack himself from the way his bottoms feel tight after seeing you on your knees with big pleading eyes. "you'll think i'm weird."
"i won't! i promise. please, please, pretty please?"
and just how can he say no to you? hesitantly, he reaches for his pocket. he pulls out a wallet, and you're confused at first. until he pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to you. "i'll see myself out."
"you're not going anywhere." you plant your palm on his chest, pushing him back to lay against the couch. you turn the paper over, and your breathing stops. it's a polaroid from back in paris. you remember snapping pictures of him and the manager as a joke. you remember the manager doing the same to you. you thought the pictures turned out bad, you didn't even want to look at them. your outfit was a mess, your hair as well, and you had a chocolate stain on the dress you wore. none of it was visible on the photo. just san and you, acting silly in front of the eiffel tower, smiling wide. sihun was only taking pictures of you, yet san managed to smoothly photobomb and earned himself the cherished polaroid. "san..."
"i know. it's weird. i'm sorry."
it wasn't weird. unexpected? sure. you weren't even aware that you had a picture with san. that day was very difficult for you; you had forgotten to pack san's famous leather vest for the show, you spilled coffee on two of your outfits, and the chocolate from the croissant dripped on your third one. the wind kept tangling your hair, and you dropped your stone magnet as soon as you stepped foot out of the shop and broke it. what was a disastrous day for you was a memorable day for san, it seems.
"oh, san." you become all giddy and soft at the thought of him carrying the photo in his wallet. "you were just carrying this around all this time?"
"...no?" his pretty eyes lock with yours, the city lights making them glimmer.
he expects you to call him weird. to slap him. to tear the photo. what he doesn't expect is for you to bring the polaroid to your lips, then press a kiss to the back of it. the action leaves a pink imprint of your lips behind, in the shape of a heart. you return it to san, who is stunned by your action. "you're so cute it hurts."
you stand up and pick up the empty cans, but not before playfully poking his dimple. he is left in silence for a few moments, replaying what just happened. his fingers brush the pink print you gifted him so generously, and he doesn't know what takes him over. he brings it to his face, pressing his own lips on the same place you did. he allows himself a short moment of peace, closing his eyes and inhaling the sweet scent you've left behind. gods, what a fool. kissing a piece of paper.
he thinks that you don't see him. but you do, in the reflection of the open glass door of the balcony. you allow him to have the moment while you rummage through your cupboards. by the time you are back on the balcony, san is almost laying on the couch. his cheeks are flushed both from alcohol and your actions, fingers fidgeting with the polaroid, and his dimples on display as he foolishly grins at the picture.
"i hope you're not on a calorie deficit." you toss a small bag of chips his way. he fails to catch it, and it lands on his face. "oopsies."
"i'm not. i'm bulking." he says as he examines the bag.
"and you hide it all under that hoodie. tsk."
he stubbornly wears the hood still. you don't have a clear view of his pretty face, aside from the glasses that peek out and rest on his nose, and it bothers you. but you won't press him. you'll let him set his own pace. "are we continuing the game?"
"if you want to. it's your turn, i think."
he watches curiously as you open a box of strawberry pepero. "when you got the job and had the opportunity to choose first, you didn't want to choose. why?"
"as a long time atiny, i didn't want to. i didn't want to make it seem like i like one of you more than the rest." you shrug.
"and you ended up with me."
"and i ended up with you." you confirm. "were you disappointed? i don't speak your language. i don't fit the beauty standards. i was pretty clumsy. i wouldn't hire myself."
"you're too harsh on yourself." san scolds. "i was actually happy and excited. i could practice my english with you. and look at me now! unstoppable."
unimpressed, you bite on the first pepero stick. "so i'm just an english lesson to you."
"you're being mean again. anyways, my turn."
the man takes a moment to think as he chews on the potato chips. he politely covers his mouth as he does so, and reminds you just how perfect he is. how something as simple as chewing has you make heart eyes at him you don't know.
"who was your bias before this?"
you choke on the treat. you didn't expect that. the reaction has him perk up. he sits up straight, crossing his legs and looking at you with an amused grin, awaiting the answer.
"well?"
"you won't get mad?"
he already frowns at the fact that it isn't him. "no..."
"alright then." you take your sweet time chewing the treat, making san's patience run dry. "my bias was..."
"you're killing me." he whines.
"wooyoung."
"what?!"
"my turn!"
"wooyoung?!"
"oh, come on. it was long ago. you're my favourite now. maybe. besides, you said you won't get mad."
"i lied."
he lays back down, sulking. arms crossed over his chest, and his lips poutier than ever. "are you really mad because you weren't my bias since day one?"
"no. i'm mad because out of all of them, it had to be wooyoung."
the streets are slowly dying out, and the building lights are dimming one by one. it is well past midnight. san is cozy on the couch, not showing any signs of getting up and leaving any time soon. you don't mind. you're happy that he feels comfort in your place. in you.
once done sulking, he sits up straight again.
"want one?" you point at the box of treats.
"sure."
he watches you pull out a single one. his hand tries to grasp it, but you simply avoid it and aim for his lips. you place the pink treat on his lips, which so obediently part and take the sweet stick between his teeth. you're grateful for the soju. otherwise, you wouldn't have san eating out of your hand as he looks at you like you are his whole world. you gently push the treat as he chews, and when your fingers graze his plush lips once he gets to the end, you have to fight yourself to not jump on him. san makes it hard by mischievously licking his lips, and your thumb in the process.
"another?"
he nods. in no time, you push him so that he leans against the backrest again. he gasps when you sit on his lap, hands flying to your thighs for support. the hood is finally pushed back by you, revealing the pretty flushed face under the moonlight and street lights. his touch burns your skin over the thin fabric of your pajamas. you are in awe of the size of his palm, which covers a significant amount of your thigh.
"open up." your voice is a mere whisper. he does as you say, and you waste no time in placing the pepero stick between his teeth, but not before playfully teasing him and swirling it around his tongue first. the strawberry and ruby chocolate melt on his taste buds, and he wishes for nothing more than to taste the other pink that is your lips. as he bites down, a satisfying crunch meets your ears. "good boy."
he almost purrs when your hand caresses his cheek. he might combust on this very couch tonight.
"you're so pretty. i could just put you on my shelf and watch you all day long." you're not sure where all this is coming from. you had buried it deep down. was the bottle of soju really enough to make all of this flood out of you? curiosity paints his features, resulting in big glossy eyes and furrowed brows. "my pretty boy."
he almost whimpers. he's lucky he has the treat in his mouth, because he masks the pathetic whimper by swallowing the pepero. he watches as your other hand retrieves another one, this time placing it between your lips. his face feels warm under your touch. his body is at your complete mercy. all he can do is squeeze your thighs from nervousness as your face inches closer and closer to him. the other end of the stick is pressed against his lips, and he takes it again. he forces himself to go slow, and not like a guinea pig eating an asparagus.
eyes are fluttering shut, breathing becomes shallow, and anticipation pools in lower stomachs as the pepero stick becomes shorter and shorter. san feels your warm breath caress his lips. he smells the strawberries and your lip gloss. he feels your hair tickle his cheeks as your upper body hovers above him. he is aware of the burning situation on his lower area where the two of you are connected. he is overwhelmed.
there is a single bite that separates the two of you. san stops. he isn't brave. you stop as well. and for a moment, he panics. his hands squeeze your thighs in an attempt to keep you from running away again. not this time. not again. and you don't disappoint him.
you bite down on the last bit, and finally, press your lips against his. san exhales into the kiss. he has dreamed of this moment every night. every day. every time he'd see you reapply your lip gloss or lip balm. the scent of sickeningly sweet fruits envelops him, and while he would usually complain, he now welcomes it.
every time he smells a strawberry, a blueberry, a cherry, or a chocolate, he will be reminded of the way your pretty lips feel like a plush cloud against his. of the way you take his bottom lip between your teeth, gently tugging it. of the way your hot tongue swipes over the now slightly swollen lip, as an apology. of the way your body yearns for him, fingers tangling into his hair, playing with the strands. hips hopelessly seeking friction. shallow gasps leaving you whenever you pull away to catch your breath.
of the way his hands can't get enough of you. the way they slide under your top, just to rest on your waist. feeling your burning skin under his touch. fingers tracing up your spine and leaning you further against him. like he doesn't want a single atom to stand between you. his other hand gripping the back of your head, deepening the kiss. tasting you like it's his last meal. like he was made to touch you, taste you.
like he was born to love you.
san effortlessly picks you up. he walks over to the nearby wall, pressing you against it. the cold concrete cools you down. soon enough, your clothes are a mess on the floor. you can't help the exhale of awe that leaves you as your fingers trace san's shoulders, collarbones, then his chest and abs. he fails to hide a proud smile, dimples cutely peeking out. his glasses are all fogged up. you don't want to remove them. the contrast between his face and body should be studied.
"still think i'm pretty?" he huffs, trying to unbuckle his belt while he still holds your body against the wall. he is insanely strong.
you respond with a courageous act; tongue swiping from his collarbone and up his neck, until you stop by his ear. you bite down on his earlobe, and then graze his ear shell with your lips before whispering: "the prettiest."
hands clumsily help him undo his belt, and once his pants hit the floor and he is left in boxers only, he doesn't waste time in pinning you further up the wall so that your legs fall over his shoulders. fingers dig into your thighs as he dives in, teeth pulling the thin fabric aside and tongue eager to taste you. you're lucky it's nighttime.
pretty eyes look at you as the tip of his tongue barely grazes the sensitive bud between your legs. watching your face. studying your expressions. enjoying the way your brows furrow and mouth hangs open as he finally tastes you. you hold onto his shoulder with one hand, and pull his hair with the other. sweet moans are music to his ears. he notices you enjoy slow but deep strokes. so that's what he does: savours you slowly, deeply, to your core. it feels as if all air has been knocked out of your lungs.
before you can fall apart in his mouth, your hand yanks his head away. you half expect the moan that leaves his flushed lips. san carefully sets you down. he then watches in awe as you lower down on your knees. the boxers free his needy cock from their grip. it finds relief in your gentle grasp. san hisses as your tongue softly swirls around his sticky tip. he chokes when your lips close around it, barely even stuffing the tip before you gag. tears prickle your eyes as you test your limits, pushing his thick length to slide down your tongue and touch the back of your throat.
you didn't take san as a noisy man during sex. not that you thought about him in that light. once or twice, maybe. you aren't complaining. not as his hand caresses your hair, gently pulling it every now and then, refraining himself from just snapping his hips and making you cry as he loses himself to the feeling. his moans are pathetic. in a hot way. in a way that makes you realize you want to have san squirming, whining and begging under your touch.
so when both your hands join your mouth on his throbbing cock, san loses his mind. his whimpers intensify, and his hips hopelessly move in rhythm with your head. "fuck-"
you pull away, but don't stop your hands from moving. "you close, baby?"
"oh," he breathes out at the new nickname. "so close. fuck, so close."
"you want to make a mess on me?" you offer, sticking your tongue out and placing his cock on it.
"no," he declines.
"why not?" to your knowledge, every man wanted that. you've tried it. weren't exactly impressed. but for san? you'd do it again and again. "you don't want to paint my face? my tits?"
he shakes his head breathlessly. "you are too pretty for that. it's degrading. i don't want it."
and just like that, he makes you melt all over again. just when he thinks you'll tip him over the edge, your hands abandon him. but it's late. his cock twitches, and he gasps in disbelief as he watches himself leak on the floor. he lets out a frustrated grunt from the ruined orgasm. he misses the way your eyes darken at his needy and upset expression. you felt sorry at first. but now, you might have discovered a new side of san you like.
"aw, my poor sannie." you cup his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. you feel liquid on them. fuck, is he crying? "baby?"
"i'm- it's fine," he looks away, humiliated.
"sannie." like a lost, obedient puppy, san's glossy eyes lock with yours. "you're so good to me. such a patient little puppy."
"i am?"
"of course you are. you're my pretty boy. and i'll reward you for being so good to me."
"really?" he is intrigued. "how?"
"are you feeling frustrated?" your fingers move the loose strands of hair from his face, caressing his head in the process. "did i ruin your orgasm?"
"n-no..." he stutters.
"i did, didn't i? poor baby." you award him with a sweet kiss. enough to have him chase you when you pull away. but you press your finger against his lips, silently telling him to wait. "you want to cum, sannie?"
"yes, please." san breathes out. "pretty please."
"then use me, baby." you give yourself to him, fingers unhooking your bra and leaving you bare before his eyes. "use me, punish me, breed me, destroy me. do whatever you want. i'm all yours."
san's mouth waters. his ears are buzzing. he hesitates, at first. once his hands lay on your body again, fire reignites within him. he pulls you in for a kiss, desperately searching for the sweetness of your mouth. the taste of you melts on his tongue. you let him set the pace. he is so lost in the way you taste that he doesn't even realize he is rubbing himself against you, hips hopelessly searching for friction.
"need any help?" you purr into his ear as he switches to kissing your neck.
he only hums, and you waste no time in gripping his sensitive cock again.
"you have such a pretty cock, sannie."
if only you knew before how hot male whimpering was. you would've found yourself a submissive man as soon as possible. but your patience and unknowledge is rewarded, life gifting you san for what you've missed.
san turns you around so that you are bent over the glass railing. you feel his sticky tip brush past your thighs, rubbing against your clit, before diving into your warmth. when he bottoms out, he releases a moan of pleasure and relief. you wish you could see his face, but you'll settle for shameless moaning into your ear as he presses his torso against your back and starts moving. you feel him deep in your belly, so much that the sight of it has a new wave of arousal gushing out of you.
"you're so pretty," he is a blubbering mess. his grip is strong on your waist, and so is the one in your hair. your head is pulled back so that you can catch a glimpse of his fucked out face. "you feel so good- fuck-"
"come on, baby. use me."
"i want to- i want to-" he breathes out between moans.
"you want to cum?"
"yes, please. please, please, please- i can't- ah!"
he's taken aback when your hips slam into his. he lets you regain control, pathetically clinging to you as you work your hips at a rough and fast pace, inching him closer to the promised orgasm. then, you slow down. you feel his every vein against your walls. you feel his leaking tip kiss your cervix as you take him deep, causing both of you to gasp and reach for each other. not able to take it anymore, you pull out just enough so you can turn around. he slides back in like he was made for you, filling you up to the brim and hiding his face in the crook of your neck, all while his hands leave bruises on your thighs and waist as he tries his best to control himself.
"come on, baby. wreck me." you moan against his lips.
san deliciously grazes your sweet spot, and once he finds out just what you like, he slams his hips into yours. his teeth bite into your shoulder, drops of sweat cover his body and make his hair stick to his forehead. yet san doesn't care. he is lost in the feeling of you. in the sound of you. in the sight of you.
"sannie-" you breathe out. "fuck, baby, you're doing so good. you're such a good boy."
now you're a blubbering mess. orgasm inching closer, san abusing your sweet spot with his hot tip, hitting it over and over until a strangled moan meets his ears and your body starts twitching in his arms. the sight of you falling apart has san finally reach his own release. ropes of cum shoot inside you, giving you a warm sensation as you recover. san shudders under your touch as you rub his back, quiet whimpers leaving him as he sloppily rides out his orgasm.
"my pretty boy." you praise him. his hair is now slicked back due to sweat and your caressing. he finds comfort in hugging your body close to him and resting his head on your shoulder. "you did amazing, baby. you made me feel so good."
"i did?" san asks, then raises his head enough to take a look at you.
you press your lips to his forehead, and finally, remove the foggy and drenched glasses and put them up on your head as a hair band so that he comfortably lays back on your shoulder. "of course you did."
you don't know how long you stand like that. until the sweat on the two of you dries, and a chill enters your bodies. you drag san back to the couch, laying on it first and inviting him to lay down with you. he wastes no time in helping you wear your top, then wears his own boxers. finally, he lays down with you. head snuggled on your chest, arms wrapped around your waist, as if you'll fade if he lets go.
"good night, san."
"good night, princess."
you're both covered with a thin blanket. just when you start falling into slumber, san wakes you with a tiny voice.
"am i really yours?"
"you are."
"can you say it again?" he mumbles, half asleep.
"you're mine?"
"no, the other thing."
"my pretty boy?"
"yes. good night."
"good night, mr choi."
he pinches your thigh under the blanket, causing you to yelp. "sannie, not mr choi."
"i'm just messing with you, sannie. good night."
"good. good night." you don't miss the way his dimple appears, even though you can't see his smile from this position.
and you can't wait to poke it every chance you get.
ATEEZ Reactions Masterlist
Unless specified, I write a mix of idol!ateez and non-idol!ateez for reactions.
You breaking up with him as a prank.
You run away. (Mafia!Ateez)
You dancing with another male idol in front of him on a show.
You want to take a break after an argument.
You faint.(idol!reader)
Saying something hurtful to you during an argument.(Mafia!Ateez)
You catch him cheating on you.
Your friend tries to flirt with him.
Overhearing and misunderstanding something you said.
Rumors of you dating another idol. (idol!reader)
Disapproving of you smoking.
You make out with your co-star for a movie/drama.
Your ex wants you back.
You ask him to buy pads. (Text version)
You get injured.(celeb!reader)
You ignore him as a prank.
Watching an erotic movie with you.
Finding a positive pregnancy test (but it isn’t yours).
You come home late after an argument. (Mafia!Ateez)
You’re his bestfriend and you kiss him/he kisses you.
“I had a dream about you . . . you were my sleep paralysis demon.” (Text Version)
You call him a “friend.”
You tell him to sleep on the couch after an argument.
He accuses you of cheating on him. (Mafia!Ateez)
Sitting on their lap during a bumpy car ride.
He finds out you’re a spy from his rival gang. (Mafia!Ateez)
You prank him with lyrics. (Text version)
Someone hitting on you. (Mafia!Ateez)
He finds out that he has a child. (Mafia!Ateez, Dad!Ateez)
He gives you an inkigayo sandwich. (Idol!Reader)
You wearing their clothes.
Being on the same show as you. (idol!reader)
You being affectionate/horny when drunk.
You’re his / he’s your wallpaper.
You kiss him out of the blue.
Confessing your / his feelings after an arranged marriage. (Mafia!Ateez, arranged marriage au)
His child interrupts him during a meeting / work. (Mafia!Ateez, Dad!Ateez)
You’re his love interest for a movie/drama.
Leading him/you on as a prank.
1-800- HOT- AND - MAD
[ J. Yunho ]
╚═════════
summary: in which you find out your boyfriend is really hot when he’s pissed off
warning: jealous/possessive/ dom yunho, bratty/sub reader, descriptions of violence (yunho gets into a fight) agonophilia, oral, anal fingering, overstimulation, mentions of blood, slightly toxic behavior, mirror sex, finger fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation, JUST FILTH YALL
genre: drama, smut
pairing: yunho x afab reader
word count: 9.3k
masterlist:
═════════ ═════════ ═════════
The car was quiet. Too quiet.
Not peaceful quiet, thick quiet. Choking, humid, argument still lingering in the air like smoke kind of quiet. The kind where the windows should’ve fogged just from the heat of it all, even though no one had touched anyone in hours.
Yunho’s knuckles were tight around the wheel, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he took the left turn toward the club a little faster than necessary. He hadn’t looked at you once since you got in the car, which would’ve bothered you more if you weren’t still fuming yourself.
The tension between you had started this morning when you made the mistake of reading one of his texts over his shoulder. Your mom asked if you’re single again?” you’d said, your voice already edged with something sharp.
He’d tensed up immediately, like he knew what was coming. “She wants me to meet some girl from her church,” he muttered. “It’s nothing.”
But it wasn’t nothing. Not when this wasn’t the first time. Not when you’d been together for three years and she still referred to you as “that girl from the city.”
So naturally, you snapped. And then he snapped. And then came the hours of passive aggressive silence followed by sharp edged comments about your flirting habits, like how you couldn’t possibly go a night out without batting your lashes at some bartender to get free drinks.
“Maybe if you had a better job, I wouldn’t have to,” you’d shot back and immediately felt bad for saying it but too damn stubborn to apologize.
Now you were in his passenger seat, legs crossed, arms tight against your chest in your barely there black dress, because fuck his mom, and fuck being the respectable church girl she wants him with. You were wearing sin like perfume.
The air conditioning was blasting but your skin was hot. From anger, from guilt, from him. From the way he kept shifting in his seat like the veins in his arms were trying to keep him from doing something reckless. Like dragging the car over to the curb and telling you exactly who you belonged to.
“You gonna talk to me at some point,” you asked, eyes trained out the window, “or are we just going to arrive in awkward silence and pretend we haven’t been at each other’s throats all day?”
His hand flexed on the gearshift. “You wanna keep fighting?”
You turned your head slowly. “You’ve barely said ten words since we left.”
He scoffed. “Because if I open my mouth again, I’m gonna say some shit I can’t take back.”
You leaned forward, eyes narrowing. “Try me.”
His head snapped toward you, his voice low and deadly. “You think it’s cute, don’t you? Playing dumb, dressing like that, laughing at every goddamn joke some guy tells you like you don’t know exactly what you’re doing.”
“Oh, I know exactly what I’m doing,” you snapped. “I’ve spent the last three years watching your mom try to set you up with her fantasy nun in training while I’ve bent over backward for you, so yeah, maybe I like it when people treat me like I’m worth something.”
The tires screeched slightly as he pulled into the club lot, slamming the gear into park with a growl deep in his chest. “You think I don’t know your worth?” he asked, finally looking at you. Really looking, like he was seeing you through the fury, the hurt, the weeks of pushing it down and pretending things were fine. “I know exactly how much you’re worth. That’s why I haven’t ripped the head off every asshole who so much as breathes in your direction.”
His voice dropped, almost a whisper now, as his eyes dragged down your body. “But tonight? You so much as smile at the wrong guy… I might just stop holding back.”
Your breath caught. Not fear. No, nothing like that. It was want. Ugly, bitter, bone deep need. For him to snap. To do something reckless. To remind you why no sweet little church girl could ever survive the heat of his hands on her skin.
═════════ ═════════ ═════════
The music hit first, bass thick enough to rattle your ribs, lights strobing like the club was trying to induce collective blackout. It was already packed inside, bodies pressed together in sweaty celebration, and the second you stepped in, Yunho’s hand brushed yours like he might take it.
But he didn’t.
He just pulled it away, shoved it into his jacket pocket, and set his jaw like he’d rather chew glass than touch you right now.
Mingi spotted him immediately from the upper section, two empty shot glasses in his hands and that stupid birthday grin that could charm the pants off anyone. “Yunhoooo!” he called out over the music, barreling down the steps. “There’s my man!”
You didn’t even get a second to adjust your dress or shake off the frost between you and Yunho before Mingi wrapped a heavy arm around your boyfriend’s neck and tugged him into a hug so aggressive it probably knocked his spine back into alignment.
“Come on,” Mingi grinned. “There’s a bottle with your name on it upstairs. I’m two tequila shots from legally changing my name to Park Seonghwa, so you’re babysitting tonight.”
Yunho opened his mouth like he might say something, to you, maybe, or to protest, but Mingi was already dragging him off by the shoulder, weaving through bodies like a man on a mission. And just like that, Yunho was gone.
You stood there alone for a beat, the throb of the music suddenly too loud in your ears.
“Rough night?” came a voice beside you.
You turned to see Seonghwa standing with a fresh drink in his hand, dressed in all black and already looking faintly amused, like he could read the tension radiating off you like heat waves. Hongjoong was beside him, half a head shorter and smirking like a little gremlin who knew everything.
“Oh, the roughest,” you said, shaking it off and forcing a smile. “Remind me why I didn’t just stay home and drink in my bathrobe?”
“Because I texted you three times that I’d be offended if you didn’t show up,” Hongjoong said, sipping his drink. “And because you knew you’d look hot in that dress and make Yunho insane.”
You raised a brow. “I’m not trying to make him insane.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Seonghwa muttered into his glass, eyes casually dragging down your body. “That dress is weaponized.”
You shrugged one bare shoulder. “He was already mad before I put it on.”
Hongjoong leaned in. “Still mad about his mom?” Him recalling the conversation, well you snapping about everything earlier on the phone.
You didn’t answer at first, just accepted the drink Seonghwa handed you, a dangerously pink thing with way too much vodka and sugar, and downed half of it in one go.
“He won’t say it, but yeah,” you muttered. “She invited him to brunch with that girl from her church. Again. Vanessa, Veronica or whatever.”
Seonghwa made a noise that sounded vaguely like a dying cat. “Does she think he’s gonna marry someone who plays acoustic guitar in the church choir and makes casseroles?”
“She made her own rosary beads,” you said flatly.
Hongjoong choked on his drink.
“I can’t compete with that,” you added. “I’ve said fuck six times since I walked in the building.”
“Seven,” Seonghwa corrected, then winked. “Make it eight and I’ll buy your next round.”
You laughed, finally, genuinely. It felt good. It felt like your ribs weren’t made of stone anymore.
But somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew Yunho was watching.
And he was. From the top floor, half a glass of whiskey in hand, pretending to listen to Mingi and San argue about who had better taste in partners. But his eyes?
They hadn’t left you once. Not since the moment you smiled at Seonghwa. Not since you leaned in a little too close to Hongjoong and tossed your hair like you knew exactly what you were doing.
Not since you crossed your legs in that dress and gave someone else the laugh he hadn’t earned all day.
And the way his jaw clenched?
It said you were about to learn what happens when Yunho stops pretending to be calm as he kept watching you now as the three of you grabbed shots.
Three shots in, the burn didn’t hurt anymore.
The first one had seared its way down like punishment, sharp and heavy in your chest, maybe for everything you wanted to say to Yunho but didn’t. The second tasted a little like regret and mango syrup. And the third? That one just made you warm.
You were sitting at the bar now, legs crossed, back arched just enough to be comfortable and just enough to make that slinky dress of yours hug the dangerous parts. Seonghwa had pulled up a second stool beside you, and Hongjoong stood between you both, drink in one hand and your wrist in the other like he was trying to show you how to fold a damn origami crane with a cocktail napkin.
“No, no, you have to crease it like this,” Hongjoong insisted, smirking as he pressed his thumb over yours. “You don’t just fold and hope for the best. It’s not your love life.”
Seonghwa snorted, and you flipped Hongjoong off, but not before laughing, real and unguarded.
It felt good to laugh. You needed it. And if Yunho wanted to stew in his own petty silence all night, that was his choice.
You snuck a glance upward, toward the balcony section. He was still up there. Still with Mingi, still nursing the same whiskey, still watching, but only occasionally. Not like before.
Which annoyed you. Which, you could admit it, hurt a little too. You wanted him to look.
You wanted him to care that you were here, having a good time without him, even if every laugh felt just a little bit hollow.
“You okay?” Seonghwa asked, nudging you with his shoulder, sharp eyes reading yours too easily.
“Yup,” you said, and took your fourth shot.
He didn’t believe you. Neither did Hongjoong. But bless them, they didn’t push.
The music was better now, less aggressive, more rhythmic. The kind that made your hips start to sway on instinct, even seated. Around you, the club pulsed with sweat and bodies and light. It felt like the kind of night that could go anywhere. Dangerous. Loose. Free.
You leaned in toward Seonghwa. “Do I look like I’m trying too hard?” His mouth twitched. “No. You look like a girl trying not to care about the fact that her boyfriend’s being a dick.”
“Good,” you said, lifting your chin.
Because you were. Trying not to care. Failing miserably, but trying.
And Yunho? He was back at the railing now. Still quiet. Still unreadable. Still stewing. He’d seen your fourth shot. He’d seen the way you smiled after it. The way Seonghwa leaned in to whisper something in your ear and you tilted your head, giggling into your shoulder.
He wasn’t mad at them. Not really. He trusted them, maybe more than anyone. But you? You were his. And watching you fall into that easy charm you always used when you were trying to prove a point…..
It fucking burned.
Mingi, oblivious and a little drunk, slapped his chest and offered him another shot. Yunho waved it off.
“I’m good.”
Mingi raised a brow. “You don’t look good.”
Yunho didn’t respond. Because his fists were clenched again. Because you were smiling again and it wasn’t at him.
And because deep down, somewhere under the bruised ego and unsaid apologies, he knew the longer this night went on, the closer he was to snapping.
You’d just finished twisting your straw into a coil of plastic frustration after Hongjoong and Seonghwa went to talk to Yeosang, when you felt a familiar weight drape dramatically across your back.
“Babe…” Wooyoung’s voice drawled against your ear, theatrical and soaked in tequila. “Why is your man up there glaring at everything like he’s about to set the entire club on fire with his mind?”
You didn’t even turn around. “Because he’s mad at me.”
“I can see that,” Wooyoung said, arms winding loosely around your shoulders as he leaned his chin on your head. “He’s staring like he wants to fight me just for being this close. Which, rude, considering I’m your favorite.”
You snorted, finally twisting in your stool to face him. “You are not my favorite.”
“Your mom thinks I’m your favorite.”
“My mom thinks you’re my gay best friend.”
“Exactly.”
Wooyoung flopped onto the stool beside you, already halfway through someone else’s abandoned drink like it belonged to him. He looked devastating, as always, black mesh shirt clinging to his chest, eyeliner sharp enough to draw blood, and those lips already curled into a shit eating grin.
“Did you two fight again?” he asked, voice sing song as he tapped your glass.
You hesitated, then nodded. “It’s been building all day. All week, actually.”
Wooyoung raised a brow, his voice dipping. “And yet here you are. Looking like sex in heels. Drinking without him. Laughing with Seonghwa. Flirting with Joongie. Mm, baby girl… you trying to start a war?”
You arched a brow. “I’m just living.”
“You’re poking the bear,” he said, eyes glittering as he leaned closer. “And the bear is feral. I haven’t seen Yunho look this pissed since that guy asked if you were single at karaoke night after you first started dating and you said….”
“‘Depends who’s asking,’” you finished for him, grinning.
“He didn’t speak to me for three days after that,” Wooyoung huffed, tossing back the rest of his drink. “I’m not even the one who said it! I just invited the guy to join!”
You giggled, your chest finally starting to relax. The club felt better now. Lighter. Fuzzy around the edges. Yunho was still up there, sure, but right now he felt like a shadow. A beautiful, brooding statue of rage and repressed emotions.
Until you made the mistake of glancing up again. Because he was watching. Elbows on the railing, drink forgotten, eyes locked straight onto you. He looked darker now. Not jealous. Not possessive.
Just done pretending he was okay.
Wooyoung followed your gaze. “Oh damn.”
“What?” you muttered.
“He just licked his teeth,” Wooyoung whispered, sipping someone else’s drink now. “You are so getting railed tonight.”
You rolled your eyes. “Unless he fights me first.”
“Oh, he’ll fight you,” Wooyoung purred. “With his dick.”
You shoved him, laughing, but your gaze flicked back up.
Still Yunho. Still watching. But now? Now he wasn’t just watching. Now he was moving.
Slow. Purposeful. Drink gone, hands flexing as he handed Mingi something and murmured something to San.
The bear had left the cave.
And he was coming straight for you.
You lost him somewhere between the bar and the DJ booth.
One second Yunho was a looming shadow stalking down the stairs, eyes fixed on you like a storm cloud with legs, and the next, he was swallowed by the crowd. A flash of flannel. The glint of his cross necklace. Then gone.
Which, fine.
If he wanted to play emotionally constipated beast, then you were going to be a brat right back.
You set your drink down and turned to Wooyoung, your lipstick stained grin already halfway to dangerous. “Come dance with me.”
He blinked. “Now?”
“No,” you deadpanned. “On my deathbed. Yes, now.”
Wooyoung let out a laugh that turned heads and gave a little bow. “Lead the way, queen of chaos.”
You grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the dance floor, already packed, already pulsing, the music vibrating up through your heels and into your bloodstream. Lights flickered hot pink and violet overhead, bodies moved in rhythm, and you let it all wash over you. Let yourself be loose. Let yourself forget Yunho’s cold shoulders and sharp words and that pinched, disapproving scowl.
Wooyoung spun you effortlessly, laughing when you bumped into him, hips brushing. He was warm and silly and sweet, your anchor and your weapon, all rolled into one. And unlike your boyfriend currently brooding somewhere in the shadows, Wooyoung danced with you like you deserved to be seen.
You threw your arms around his neck, tilted your head back, and let your hips roll to the music. The tequila shimmered in your bloodstream, making you bold, shameless. It was harmless. Just you and your best friend blowing off steam.
Until he appeared.
Not Yunho.
Some random half drunk guy with no boundaries.
You didn’t even catch his face at first, just the hands. One on your waist. Then another settling lower. Close. Too close.
You tensed, instinct flaring. But before you could even react, Wooyoung turned, “Uh…. hey man….” just as the guy leaned in behind you, his breath too close to your ear.
“You wanna dance, baby?”
You froze.
Baby.
BABY.
That’s what Yunho calls you when his voice drops into his throat and his hands are on your thighs and he’s about to wreck your entire existence.
You turned, slow and unimpressed, swaying slightly from the shots. Your hand rose to brush his arm off as you said, “Can you back the fuck off….”
CRACK.
The sound was deafening. Not from the volume, but from the shock.
Because in one heartbeat, Yunho was behind him.
And in the next, his fist was flying, slamming straight into the guy’s cheek so hard his head snapped sideways, body stumbling back.
“Yunho!” you shouted, but he didn’t even blink.
The guy barely regained his balance before throwing a punch back, landing hard into Yunho’s jaw with a sickening thud, and then it was on.
Not a scuffle. Not a push.
A full on, fists flying, tables shifting, club goers screaming BRAWL.
“OH SHIT!” Wooyoung yelped, immediately grabbing your arm and dragging you back as the two of them collided in the middle of the dance floor.
Drinks went flying. A table toppled. Yunho didn’t care.
He was all muscle and fury as he swung again, rage in every movement, pure instinct. You’d never seen him like this. Not even close.
Yunho. Sweet, loving Yunho.
Yunho, who once sobbed when he stepped on a roach and tried to bury it with dignity.
Yunho, who cried watching the last scene of Coco and apologized to a vending machine when he kicked it.
That Yunho was gone.
And in his place?
An unhinged, terrifyingly hot version with blood on his knuckles, fire in his eyes, and only one thing on his mind, protecting what was his.
And oh God, you were shamelessly, absolutely, wildly turned on.
“Holy shit,” Seonghwa breathed behind you, as he, Hongjoong, and Yeosang pushed their way through the crowd to join you and Wooyoung.
“Is that?” Jongho’s voice cut through, followed by the unmistakable bark of San yelling, “YUNHO, STOP!”
But he didn’t. Not until security came rushing in, two thick men grabbing the other guy, one grabbing Yunho by the arm. And still, Yunho fought to get one more punch in, his chest heaving, sweat glistening down his throat, lip split, hair wild across his forehead as he growled, “Touch her again, and I’ll fucking bury you.”
“Yunho!” Mingi was there now too, panting, trying to wrestle his best friend back with an arm across his chest. “You’re done, man! You got him!”
The guy, dazed and bleeding, was being dragged out through the crowd.
Yunho finally stopped fighting.
But he didn’t take his eyes off you.
His chest was rising and falling like he’d just run a marathon, jaw clenched, fists still flexing at his sides as everyone turned to stare.
You should’ve been mortified. Shocked. Maybe a little horrified.
And sure, you were a little shocked. But mostly? You were wet.
Like ruin your underwear, (if you had any on), legs squeezing together, core clenching WRECKED at the sight of your usually quiet, soft spoken boyfriend losing his mind because someone dared to touch you.
“Are you okay?” Yeosang asked beside you, genuinely concerned.
You blinked at him slowly. “I think,” you said, voice dazed, “yeah….. I’m….” Need to climb right now. Make him know that you didn’t want that dude. Show him he was the only thing you wanted.
Yunho brushed past the others, not saying a word as he grabbed your hand, rough, fingers locking with yours like steel, like he needed to feel you to stay grounded. He didn’t look at anyone. Didn’t thank Mingi. Didn’t acknowledge Seonghwa’s wide eyed “what the fuck was that?”
He just pulled. Out the side door. Through the alley.
And straight to the car.
No words. No hesitation.
Just heat radiating off him like asphalt in the August heat, his grip ironclad and silent until he threw the driver’s door open, got in, and waited until you did the same before slamming it shut.
The engine roared to life. And still not a word.
The only sounds in the car were the pulse of your heart in your ears and the low crunch of his cracked knuckles gripping the steering wheel.
You swallowed thickly, sneaking a glance at him.
His lip was split, the crimson trailing into the corner of his mouth like a slash of warpaint. His knuckles were smeared with drying blood, his or the other guy’s, you didn’t know. His chest was still rising and falling beneath his black tee and flannel like he hadn’t quite come down yet.
And that look, his eyes glued to the road, the tight line of his jaw, the curve of his mouth twitching like he still wasn’t finished.
You clenched your thighs. Hard. Because it was too much. He looked like sin. Like a punishment.
Like a man who’d been holding it together all night and finally snapped, and now didn’t trust himself to speak because if he did, he might pull over and fuck you against the hood.
You watched the muscles in his forearm flex as he shifted gears, the bracelet on his wrist catching the streetlights in flashes of silver. Your thighs pressed tighter, core throbbing with each quiet second that passed.
You wanted him to say something.
You wanted him to do something. But the silence? It was worse. It was foreplay. Hot. Charged. Lethal.
You shifted in your seat, breath shallow.
“Yunho,” you whispered.
He didn’t answer. Didn’t even blink. Just turned the wheel, took the last corner toward your apartment and parked hard, tires squealing a little as the car jerked to a stop.
He finally looked at you then.
And oh God, the look in his eyes…. Still silent.
Still storming.
═════════ ═════════ ═════════
The door slammed behind you with a thud, the echo still ringing in the apartment as Yunho strode in like he was trying not to pace. His jaw was still clenched. His shoulders still tight. He was breathing through his nose like every breath might be the one that gets him under control.
You stood there in the entryway, your heels clicking on the wood floor as you watched him pull off his flannel, slow, tense, controlled, then reach behind his head and tug off his shirt.
It stuck to his skin for a second. Bloody, sweaty, soaked in a night that had ruined you both.
And still, he didn’t speak.
He tossed the shirt in the direction of the laundry basket in the hall but didn’t check if it landed.
Just walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water, took a sip.
You were still standing there like a fucking Victorian ghost in a slutty dress and smeared lipstick, your thighs pressed together, heat pulsing between them like a warning siren, and he, HE, had the audacity to act like nothing happened.
He ran a hand through his hair, still silent, and finally said, muttering almost to himself, “I’m gonna take a shower.”
You blinked.
Hard.
And then your body moved before your brain did.
“Are you serious?”
He froze.
Slowly turned to face you.
You didn’t even give him time to process it.
“No. No, no, no. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to beat the shit out of someone for touching me, drag me out of the club like I’m about to be claimed in the wild, drive me home in brooding silence, and then, what? Shower? Like this is just a normal fucking Wednesday?!”
He stared at you.
And God help you, he looked even hotter under your kitchen light, busted lip, bruised knuckles, small blood smudged across his forearm, a red fingerprint on his neck where someone tried to pull him off. Bruised jaw. Like war torn sex.
“I am soaked, Yunho,” you snapped shamelessly, stepping toward him. “I’ve been soaked since you threw that guy across the floor like a ragdoll and growled at him like you were about to bite his throat out. And now you’re just gonna rinse off?!”
Yunho blinked once. Twice.
Then he let out a single laugh, dry and sharp, like it had been dragged from his chest against its will.
But it died in his throat almost as soon as it escaped.
Because something shifted in him.
His eyes darkened. His body stilled.
His hand snapped up to grab your jaw, not harsh but firm, fingers curled just beneath your ear, thumb brushing your cheekbone.
“You want me like this?” he asked, voice low and hoarse, barely more than a growl. “Blood on my knuckles and barely holding it together?”
Your breath caught as he stepped closer, chest brushing yours, the heat of him swallowing you whole. The scent of sweat, blood, his skin, him, was dizzying.
“You want me when I’m this fucked up?” he whispered, words pouring hot against your lips. “When all I can think about is burying myself so deep inside you I forget why I was pissed off in the first place?”
Your knees damn near buckled.
“I almost blacked out on that floor tonight,” he murmured, eyes flicking to your mouth. “Because some asshole touched what’s mine. You think I want to just walk away from that? Go take a fucking shower like I’m not starving for you?”
You whimpered, actually whimpered, and his grip tightened just slightly, dragging your gaze back to his.
“I want you,” he said, voice thick and full of everything he hadn’t said all night. “But you’re gonna say it.”
You blinked up at him, lips trembling.
He tilted his head. “Tell me.”
“I want you,” you breathed.
“Say it like you mean it.”
Your voice cracked.
“I want you to fuck me so hard I forget we ever fought.”
His eyes snapped shut like the words hit him between the ribs harder than that guy hitting him in the jaw as he let you go. The words hung between you like smoke. thick, intoxicating, fatal.
He didn’t see you drop.
He only felt it after.
The sound of your knees hitting the floor. The rush of air as you sank down in front of him, fingers trailing down his stomach as you settled between his legs like it was the only place you belonged.
His eyes shot open.
And what he saw?
You.
Looking up at him through your lashes, mouth already parted, pupils blown wide with lust and vengeance and that sick little spark that always lit up when you wanted to ruin him.
“Fuck.” Yunho choked, the word cracked and useless, falling from his lips as he stared down at you like he couldn’t believe what you’d just done.
But you weren’t teasing.
You were starving.
And so was he.
You let your hands drag up his thighs, slow, deliberate, until you reached the waistband of his jeans, already tented, already twitching with how unbelievably hard he was.
His busted lip split wider when he bit down on it.
“Baby…” he rasped, voice shaking, hands hovering at his sides. “You don’t have to…”
You looked up at him, lips brushing the fabric of his pants.
“I want to.”
One hand slipped beneath the waistband, fingers wrapping around him, hot, heavy, pulsing against your palm. He hissed, hips jerking slightly.
You pulled him out slowly, unzipping him, the way you knew drove him crazy, dragging your hand down his length and watching his body shudder from it.
And when you leaned forward and licked the tip, just the tip, his entire body snapped tight like a livewire.
“Jesus Christ,” he groaned, one hand flying to the back of your head, not pushing, just there, grounding himself, gripping your hair like it was the only thing anchoring him to earth.
You didn’t take your time.
Not tonight.
Tonight, you were making a point.
You took him into your mouth, deep and filthy, lips slick and cheeks hollowed as your hand followed, twisting at the base. His breath punched out of him in a moan so ragged it almost sounded like your name.
“F… fuck, baby…” he grunted, head falling back as your tongue swirled, as you gagged slightly and kept going, tears pricking your eyes but your grip never faltering.
The blood on his knuckles. The bruise on his jaw. The taste of him on your tongue and the weight of him hitting the back of your throat, everything about him was violent, raw, and so goddamn yours.
He looked back down, his jaw slack, lips parted as he watched you ruin yourself on him, lips stretched and dripping, your eyes fluttering closed like you’d die if he didn’t come undone.
“You want me to forget the fight?” he growled, voice low and rough. “You’re doing a fucking good job of it.”
You moaned around him in response, sending vibrations up his spine and causing his breath to hitch.
Your mouth was wrapped tight and hot around him, cheeks hollowed and lips swollen, spit trailing down your chin like sin in liquid form. Your hand worked the base, slow and tight, just the way he liked it, just enough to keep him teetering on the edge while your tongue licked along the underside like you wanted him twitching from the inside out.
“Fuck…” he groaned, eyes fluttering closed, hips stuttering forward involuntarily. “You’re gonna make me…”
But he didn’t finish the sentence.
Because he couldn’t.
Instead, he pulled back, not all the way. Just far enough that his dick slipped from your lips and dropped heavy against your mouth, wet and flushed, smearing across your cheek and lips in the filthiest, most possessive display you’d ever felt.
You gasped softly, breath hot against him, tongue darting out instinctively to trace the head, and then slowly, you flattened your tongue along the side of his dick, licking him like a goddamn lollipop.
And when your eyes locked with his? You smiled. “I don’t know why you get so jealous anyways…” His breath stopped as you licked him again. Slower. “your dick’s already ruined me for anyone else.”
Silence. Dead, soul leaving his body silence as Yunho stared down at you like he’d just heard the voice of God and it was moaning his name. His chest heaved, pupils blown wide, chest gleaming with sweat, busted lip dark red and parted in pure shock.
He looked feral. Possessive. His jaw clenched, hand tightening in your hair, not enough to hurt, just enough to remind you exactly who you were playing with.
“I ruined you?” he asked, voice rasping out like he barely had the air to speak.
You nodded, dragging your tongue up his shaft again before pressing a soft, open mouthed kiss to the head.
“Completely,” you whispered. “You think any other man could make me drop to my knees like this?”
That did it. His hand fisted in your hair. He pulled you up finally but not gently, and not like a man with self control. Like a man who was done holding back.
His mouth crashed into yours, rough, biting, blood smeared, and when he shoved you against the kitchen counter, your back arching and your legs spreading instinctively, you knew exactly what was coming.
“Say it again,” he growled into your mouth, grinding against you through your dress.
“Say you’re mine.”
You barely got the words out between gasps, his mouth devouring yours, the heat of him pressing against you like he was seconds from splitting in two.
“Yours…” you breathed, voice already breaking as his tongue slid hot and hungry against yours. You clung to his shoulders, grinding up against him like your body didn’t care that you were in the kitchen, on the edge, half drunk and half mad.
“All yours.”
Yunho grabbed your waist and lifted you like you, slamming you down on the kitchen counter, the thud echoing through the apartment.
He shoved your knees apart in one motion, his frame crowding yours completely. Then came that dress. That little black fucking dress.
He pushed it up, rough, almost angry, and when his eyes landed on the space between your thighs, everything stopped. His jaw locked. His nostrils flared. “You didn’t wear panties,” he growled.
You met his gaze, all fire and challenge, heart hammering. “Nope.”
A sound left him, low and dark and almost a snarl.
“You went to that fucking club,” he said, voice sharp with disbelief, “after everything today… dressed like that… with nothing on under this fucking dress?”
You didn’t flinch. Just held his stare and whispered, “What’re you gonna do about it?”
His hands gripped your thighs so tight you gasped, bruises incoming, and he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter with a force that nearly knocked the salt shaker over.
His eyes dropped back between your legs, where your pussy glistened under the low light, slick, swollen, already needy just from the weight of his voice. He licked his lips, his busted one splitting slightly again from the pressure. Blood be damned, he needed a taste.
“You walked around all night like this?” he muttered, dragging two fingers up your slit so slowly you saw stars. “With this pussy dripping for me the whole time?”
You moaned, helpless, arching, wrecked from the pressure of just that.
“Answer me,” he snapped, fingers teasing at your entrance but not pushing in, his breath hot against your throat.
“Yes,” you whimpered. “I wanted to mess with you…. to watch you lose your mind.”
He laughed, low and wrecked and dangerous.
“You want to see what that looks like, baby?” he whispered, kissing your neck before his voice dropped darker. “I’ll fucking show you.” He dropped to his knees. Right there, on the tile.
Dragging you to the edge of the counter, spreading you wider, arms locked under your thighs as he dove into you like a starving man, like he was angry, desperate, and starved for the taste of you.
You screamed.
His mouth was brutal, tongue flattening against your clit with every pass, lips sealing around you like he was trying to suck your soul out through your cunt. And when you tried to close your legs, he growled, deep and low, holding you open as his nose brushed your folds and his tongue pushed deep inside you.
You nearly came right there as his tongue fucked into you with a rhythm that felt dangerous, mouth slick and hot as he pinned your thighs wide and buried his face deeper like he wanted to drown in your pussy. And God, he was so good at it.
Every flick. Every suck. Every guttural sound he made as he licked you like a man starving, it hit every nerve, every shaking muscle, until you could barely even breathe. And then you felt it. His fingers.
Two of them, wet from his mouth, slick and long, sliding into your cunt like he owned it. Curling deep and pounding harder, pushing against that spot inside you that made your eyes roll back in your skull.
You clawed at the counter, heels digging into the drawers, hips jerking helplessly as he tongue fucked your clit and finger fucked your pussy with ruthless, relentless thrusts.
“Oh my God…. Yunho, I’m… fuck, I’m….”
He didn’t stop. He didn’t slow down.
And you were too wrecked to notice that while one hand worked your cunt, the other, wet from your own slick, had slid lower, fingers circling your ass. He pushed one inside. You gasped, the sound jagged, more like a sob than a moan. Not pain. Shock. Pleasure so sharp it made you twitch.
Your pussy clenched wildly around his fingers as his tongue licked harder, and then he added a second finger to your ass. Slow at first, then pushing deeper. The stretch. The fullness. His tongue fucking into you. You shattered.
Screaming. Shaking. Legs trembling so hard your heel knocked over a jar of cinnamon that crashed to the floor unheard. Your orgasm hit like lightning, ripping through you as his tongue kept moving, his fingers kept fucking your ass full, your pussy dripping, your voice gone.
But Yunho didn’t stop. Didn’t even pause. He slid his fingers out of your ass and thrust three of them back into your cunt, sticky, soaking wet, so thick it burned deliciously as he shoved them in to the knuckle.
He pulled his mouth away and looked up at you from between your thighs, face soaked, lips swollen, eyes wild as he stood back up.
Then his free hand gripped your chin, hard enough to tilt your head and force your dazed, tear filled gaze to lock with his. “Fuck yourself on them,” he growled.
Your thighs trembled against his forearms, your back arched, sweat clinging to your skin as you tried, really tried, to move. To fuck yourself on his fingers like he told you to. But your body was wrecked.
Still twitching. Still fluttering from your orgasm. Your clit throbbed, your pussy clenched tight around his fingers, still soaking wet and stretched wide, and he hadn’t even really fucked you yet.
“Come on,” Yunho rasped, voice wrecked, his grip on your chin tightening just enough to make you look at him. “You said you were mine. Show me.”
You moaned, high and breathless, as you reached down, trembling hands fumbling for his wrist, trying to ground yourself.
Your fingers wrapped around his thick forearm, nails digging in, and you rocked, hips lifting off the counter, pushing yourself down on his hand with a broken cry. But it wasn’t enough.
Your body jolted from overstimulation. Your legs were too weak. Your core too sensitive. You whined in frustration, grinding down again but gasping halfway through the motion, overwhelmed and desperate.
“I…. I can’t….” you choked out. “I want to, I just… fuck, Yunho, I can’t do enough!” Your voice cracked as he stared down at you like a man seeing divinity for the first time.
You. Completely undone. Trying so hard to please him you were shaking. Still soaked. Still needy. Still his as he leaned in slowly, lips brushing yours as he whispered, “You’re trying for me even when you’re falling apart.”
You whimpered. His fingers curled inside you just right and your legs jerked.
“You know how fucking beautiful that is?” he whispered. “You look so sweet when you’re desperate for me.”
You moaned into his mouth, still pushing, still riding the edge of madness as your walls fluttered helplessly around his fingers, so close to the edge again it was embarrassing.
“Let me take over,” he murmured against your lips.
And when you nodded, meek and broken and begging, he growled, low and feral.
“Good girl.”
He pulled his fingers from your pussy with a filthy sound, and you gasped, collapsing against his chest, body shaking. His hands slid under your thighs, lifting you like you and you wrapped your arms around his neck, still dazed, lips brushing his throat.
“Bed,” you mumbled, voice hoarse. “Please, Yunho…”
He didn’t answer, just carried you down the hallway and into your bedroom like a man on a mission, and made a hard left.
Straight past the mattress.
Straight to the far wall.
To the floor length mirror.
You blinked, confused, until you met the cool surface of the mirror and Yunho pressed into you, hips grinding against you as his hands slid down to your ass.
Your eyes opened wide.
And you saw it.
You saw everything.
Your ruined dress hiked around your waist.
Your slick thighs trembling.
Your lipstick smeared from moaning into his mouth.
Your chest rising and falling like you were trying not to cry from how badly you needed him again.
Yunho stared into the mirror, one arm braced beside your head, the other hand gripping your thigh to keep you spread open against the glass.
His voice was low, rough, and feral.
“I’m not taking you to bed,” he said. “Not yet.”
“Yunho…”
“No.” His eyes burned into yours. “I want you to watch.”
“I want you to see how I fuck you,” he growled. “I want you to look in that mirror and watch me really ruin you for anyone else.”
You were breathless.
Heart pounding.
You turned your head slightly to look at him, still expecting him to slide into you, to lift your leg and finally, finally take what was already his.
But instead? He stepped back. And started taking off the rest of his clothes.
Slowly.
Deliberately.
Your breath caught as you watched his busted knuckles.
Dried blood flaking down the side of his ring finger. A smear near his wrist. A dark bruise already blooming on the back of his hand.
And then your eyes dragged upward, over the slope of his jaw to that beautiful mouth. His lips, still swollen. The bottom one split and drying now.
You clenched your thighs so hard it almost hurt.
And the worst part?
You knew his mother would call this blasphemy. She’d throw holy water at you through the phone, clutch her rosary, say three Hail Marys and ask Saint Veronica or whatever the hell that girl’s name is, to shield her baby boy from the succubus in the mirror.
Too late.
Because you weren’t sorry.
You were more turned on than you’d ever been in your entire life.
You couldn’t stop staring, at the bruises, at the blood, at the way he stood before you, naked now except for the weight of his rage and the throb of his dick, hard and leaking.
“Fucking look at you,” Yunho muttered, stepping closer. “Pressed up against that mirror, staring at me like I’m a goddamn drug.”
You whimpered as he stepped behind you again, his dick brushed the swell of your ass. One big hand came up to cup your throat, not tight, just there, possessive and warm and so him.
“That what I am to you?” he whispered against your neck. “Something you can’t quit?”
You moaned.
And in the mirror, your eyes fluttered shut.
“No,” he growled, hand tightening just a little. “Keep them open. I want you to see exactly what kind of man you’re letting ruin you.”
Yunho’s voice was dark silk, frayed, trembling on the edge of something unholy. His hand was still wrapped loosely around your throat, not choking, just there, a reminder. A claim.
And behind you, you felt him line up.
Thick. Hot. Ready.
He didn’t thrust, not yet. Just slid the head of his dick through your folds, slow and teasing, smearing your slick everywhere as you twitched against the mirror, your breath fogging up the glass.
“You feel this?” he muttered, rubbing the tip against your clit with just enough pressure to make you gasp. “You’re soaked. Messy all over me.”
You moaned, pushing back against him, thighs shaking.
“Still begging for more even after I finger fucked your ass and made you come all over my face.”
Your eyes rolled back and he growled, deep, rough, animalistic.
“Eyes on the mirror. Now.”
You obeyed. Because how could you not? The reflection was pure sin.
You, flushed, lips parted, eyes wide and dazed.
Him, bruised, blood streaked, dark and towering behind you, dick thick, big and twitching against your pussy. He pushed in. Just the tip.
Your mouth dropped open in a silent moan, your fingers clawing at the mirror, trying to stay upright as he held you still and slowly, agonizingly slowly, slid in another inch. Then another. Stretching you wide, your body pulsing around him.
“Still so fucking tight,” he rasped against your ear, voice strained like it was costing him everything not to slam into you. “You take me like you were made for me.” And you loved it.
Every possessive word. Every filthy groan. The bruises, the blood, the way his dick made you feel owned. A little toxic. But you didn’t care. You arched your back, pressing your ass against his hips.
“You like this,” he said, tone dark and almost accusing, like he couldn’t believe the shameless, needy moans falling from your lips. “You like knowing you’re mine. That no one else’ll ever get this pussy again.”
You looked right into the mirror. Met his eyes. And grinned. “Your mom would be so disappointed in me,” you panted, voice high and wrecked. “Guess Saint Vanessa, or Veronica, or whatever the hell her name is, doesn’t get off to blood and bruises.”
Yunho snapped.
His hand clamped tighter around your throat, not choking, but claiming, and he slammed into you with one brutal thrust that shook the mirror and knocked every coherent thought from your skull.
You screamed. Loud. Messy. Wrecked. He didn’t stop.
He fucked you hard, each thrust knocking your body forward as he held you up like a doll, his dick driving so deep it punched the air from your lungs. You heard the slap of skin, the creak of the mirror, your own choked moans.
And through it all, you watched in the reflection of the glass.
Watched your body shake. Watched your mouth fall open in silent pleasure. Watched the dark, dangerous man behind you lose himself in you like you were the only thing tethering him to the earth.
He wasn’t coming yet. This wasn’t about that. This was about making you remember exactly who you belonged to.
Your moans cracked apart into sobs. Your hands slipped down the mirror, leaving streaks in the fog from your breath and the heat of your body. He just kept fucking you. Deep. Brutal. Possessive.
One hand gripped your thigh, the other curved tight around your waist like he was afraid to let go. And all you could do was take it, choke on your own cries, mouth falling open with every thrust as your pussy fluttered around his dick, so wet, so swollen, so wrecked.
“You’re so fucking perfect like this,” Yunho groaned, lips brushing your ear. “Dripping. Shaking. Dumb for my dick.”
Your eyes rolled back. Your hips pushed back on instinct.
“And you love it, don’t you?” he growled. “You love when I’m like this, fucked up, furious, making you take every inch like a good fucking girl.”
“Y…. Yes… yes, fuck, Yunho!”
His grip on your waist tightened as he drove deeper. “You want sweet? That’s for Saint Vanessa. You want me? This is what you get.”
You came again with a scream, your entire body spasming against the glass, legs giving out, completely ruined, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave of sin and surrender.
Yunho kissed your shoulder, soft for just a breath. Then he pulled out.
And you whimpered, the loss unbearable. But before you could collapse completely, he scooped you up, carrying you to the bed like you were made of glass. Only you weren’t. You were made to be broken.
He didn’t throw you down. He placed you, on your hands and knees, your dress bunched around your hips, your body still twitching. But the mirror…
The mirror was still in view.
You caught sight of yourself, face flushed, eyes wide, hair wild, tears dried on your cheeks, and behind you, him. Towering. Silent. Bloody. Bruised. Hard.
Yunho climbed onto the bed behind you, spreading your legs wider. His palm came down on your ass, hard, the crack echoing and you yelped, your body jolting forward.
He growled, grabbing your throat from behind, fingers wrapping firm around it, not choking, just owning as he leaned in close to your ear, voice so low it made your spine arch.
“I don’t need church,” he whispered. “Not when I see God every time I fuck you.”
And then he slammed into you from behind. Hard. The bed shook. You screamed.
Yunho set a rhythm that had no mercy, his dick punching deep, every thrust sending shockwaves through your entire body. You could barely hold yourself up on your arms, your thighs shaking, your hands gripping the sheets like lifelines.
And in the mirror, you watched it happen. You. Bent. Spread. Eyes rolled back. Him. Hand on your throat. Blood on his mouth. Possessed.
Wrecking you like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
“Look at you,” he growled. “So fucking beautiful when you’re ruined.” He slipped your dress on off, tossing it somewhere on the floor.
Your mouth dropped open as he slapped your ass again, then gripped it to pull you back harder on his dick, fucking into you so deep your arms nearly gave out.
“Who do you belong to?” he asked, panting, voice shaking now.
“You,” you sobbed. “Yunho…. fuck, you!”
And the mirror reflected it all. Your confessional. Your surrender. Your salvation.
“Fucking perfect,” Yunho growled behind you, hips snapping into yours with a rhythm so brutal it made your vision blur. “You’re taking me so deep, baby. You feel that?”
You did. God, you did.
Every inch. Every vein. Every stretch of his dick had you clenching, fluttering, crying around him.
You could barely hold yourself up anymore, arms trembling as your body rocked forward with every thrust. The mirror still showed the wreckage, your open mouth, your glassy eyes, the way his hand on your throat kept you steady even as he unraveled you from behind.
“I can feel you about to come again,” he panted, breath catching in his throat. “This pretty little pussy’s choking me.”
You sobbed something, his name, maybe, or just a plea, and Yunho groaned, hips faltering just once as his hand slid down your belly, curling around your waist.
And he slowed. Not stopped. Not gentle.
But that punishing pace softened, replaced by something deeper. More intimate. More devastating.
His hand left your throat and slid around your front to cup your chest, pulling you up slowly until your back was flush against his chest and you were both kneeling on the bed, still joined, still locked together.
The mirror reflected everything now. Your body, shaking, your mouth, open, your skin, marked. And Yunho? A mess.
His busted lip pressed to your shoulder. His hand trembling where it gripped your breast. His eyes burning as he stared at the reflection of you both, his forehead pressed to your temple, hips grinding slower now, deeper.
Right there. Right on the edge.
“Look at us,” he whispered, voice raw and broken. “Look what we are.”
You whimpered, body so close to unraveling again you could barely breathe.
“After everything today,” he murmured, kissing your shoulder, “you’re still mine. Still here. Still letting me love you like this.”
You blinked tears. “Yunho…”
“I’m close,” he groaned. “Fuck, baby, I’m…”
He pulled out of you gently, and you gasped, ready to beg for him back, but he turned you around, guiding you down with such care it made your heart seize.
Your back hit the mattress. Your legs fell open.
And Yunho, bruised, blood stained, beautiful, hovered over you like you were the only thing in the world that could save him.
He looked into your eyes as he pushed back in, deep and slow.
You moaned, hands flying to his shoulders, your body stretching around him again like it was made to.
“I love you,” he whispered. “No one’s ever gonna touch you. Not after this.”
You nodded, tears streaking your cheeks. “Only you. Always you.”
He kissed you then, desperate, open mouthed, sweet and ruined as he started to move again. Slow. Deep. Loving.
You clung to him.
And as your body clenched around him, tight and wet and so incredibly his, you felt him gasp.
“Come with me,” he begged. “One more time, baby. Just once more.”
And you did.
Together. Wrapped in each other. Shaking, crying, kissing between gasps as he spilled into you and you shattered around him, lips whispering love and reverence like prayers as your bodies gave out.
You didn’t need anything else.
Just him.
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The sun was pouring through the curtains in soft gold, casting lazy stripes across the bed, the sheets… the clothes still scattered all over the floor like the aftermath of a spiritual and physical exorcism.
You were half sprawled across Yunho’s chest, one thigh tossed over his waist, your mouth slack against his collarbone, his hand still curled around your hip possessively even in sleep.
He was knocked out cold, busted lip healing, but otherwise calm, peaceful.
Which was ironic.
Because last night, this bed had been ground zero for a war zone. And the mirror still across the room bore the faint handprint smudges to prove it.
It was a rare kind of silence. Too rare. The kind that should’ve been a warning. The front door opened. You didn’t stir. Neither did Yunho.
But fate didn’t need your permission today.
“Yunho, sweetheart?” a familiar voice called gently. “Are you home? You didn’t answer my calls.”
The sound of heels on hardwood. A gasp. The kind only a Korean mother with a key she wasn’t supposed to have and a deeply Catholic soul could make.
“Oh… oh sweet Virgin Mary!”
You jerked awake.
Yunho startled hard, blinking groggily, hand tightening on your thigh like he’d just woken up in a battle field. “What the fuck….”
That’s when you heard it.
“JEONG YUNHO!”
He sat up so fast he knocked your arm off his chest, blanket sliding down to reveal your entire very naked, thoroughly marked body.
And standing frozen in the doorway?
His mother.
In slacks. With a handbag. And a face that looked like she’d just seen Lucifer himself and he was balls deep in her son’s girlfriend.
“Mom?”
She raised a hand. “Don’t even, don’t you dare speak right now!”
Her eyes swept the room, his busted lip, the mirror across the room with streaks still fogged up, and the unmistakable smell of sex so thick in the air it could’ve been bottled and sold at Sephora.
You, bless your brave, exhausted, freshly fucked soul, pulled the sheet up just enough to cover your chest and rested your chin on Yunho’s shoulder.
Yunho made a choked noise as his mom’s eyes bugged.
“I… You….” she sputtered, clutching her bag like it might save her. “I came to drop off side dishes! I didn’t come to witness my son’s moral collapse!”
“Too late for that,” you mumbled under your breath.
“What was that?!”
“Nothing,” you said, batting your lashes.
Yunho groaned, dragging a hand over his face. “Mom, seriously. Why do you even have a key?”
“Because I thought my son was in need of spiritual nourishment, not….” she gestured wildly between your bodies, “living in debauchery!”
You smiled sweetly, full of pettiness. “Would you like some coffee before you go?”
She backed out of the room like she was escaping a crime scene, muttering to herself about incense and repentance and how many Hail Marys it takes to erase what she just saw.
The door slammed. Silence. And then? Yunho looked at you, utterly deadpan.
“She’s never going to cook for me again.”
You shrugged, curling back into his chest. “That’s fine. I’ll ruin your soul and your cooking standards.”
He laughed, truly laughed and kissed the top of your head.
“Worth it.”
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permanent tag list: @straycat420 @autieofthevalley @dejatiny @hannahlilibet411 @xh01bri @jintastic-yuyu @maddycline @ultrapinkvoidbouquet @wooyoungsbrat @lucid-galaxys-world @ecriggs1990 @straytiny127 @sannies-tiddies @hannahstacos @jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets @love--in-stayville @hartsablaze @remi-young @bubbly-moon @fvxyxnh0 @herpoetryprincess
rage mode
[ J. Yunho ]
╚═════════
summary: in which yunho’s roommate likes to test his patience
warning: pissed off yunho, brat reader, slight audophilia, wooyoung is a little perv, slight choking, spanking, unprotected sex
pairing: gamer yunho x afab reader
genre: smut
word count: 2.2k
part two
masterlist
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“Damn it, y/n, stop fucking killing me!”
Yunho’s voice sounded beyond annoyed, borderline completely pissed off. You could hear it in the way there was a slight growl undertone in his deep, tired voice. It was well past midnight, himself and his two roommates along with some of their friends had been playing this new online co op game for the last… 4…. 5 hours? Honestly, Yunho had lost track of the time.
“That’s what you get for getting me killed earlier.” Y/N replied back, her voice filled with amusement and dripping with pettiness. Yunho had half a mind to pause the game, march across the hall to her bedroom and unplug her pc. She had been nonstop killing him for the last hour or so and Yunho was starting to reach his breaking point.
“It’s not fucking funny, y/n! And it wasn’t my fault you and Wooyoung are using the same character.” Yunho snapped into his headset. He had even told his two roommates that choosing the same character to play as would be confusing for everyone and a bad idea. Did they listen? Of fucking course they didn’t. “Y/N, I swear to god!” He growled, avoiding just being shot once again.
“Swear to god,” Yunho could practically hear the smirk she had as y/n teased him, sniping his player with quick precision, a frustrated snarl echoing in her ears from her headset as Yunho was clearly pissed. “what would your mother say?”
“Could you two like… I don’t care, fuck and shut up already?” Jongho was tired of their back and forth bickering. He could practically feel the tension between the two and he was three blocks away in his own apartment.
Yunho and Y/N both shut up, their silence suddenly very loud and noticeable. “Well that shut them the fuck up.” Wooyoung was snickering, San and Jongho both joining him. Both his roommates probably thought Wooyoung was oblivious to their little tryst they had going on but their walls were thin and y/n was very vocal.
“It’s after 2:00 am, I promised Seonghwa I’d meet him for lunch tomorrow.” Y/N was lying straight through her teeth but the guys were none the wiser as she left the game. Yunho sighed in relief to not have her constantly up his ass, actually being able to try and explore the new game and have fun without getting killed every few minutes.
Yunho was so focused in the game now he didn’t see y/n open her bedroom door across the hall, he himself had left his bedroom door open. Y/N glanced down the hall towards Wooyoung’s, his door was shut and she could hear him yelling at Jongho over something in the game. Dropping to her knees, y/n smirked, biting her bottom lip as she crawled quietly across the carpeted floor into Yunho’s room.
She paused a second, taking in his big frame in sitting slightly hunched over in his gaming chair, completely focused on the game, the clicking of the keyboard and mouse loud. The only thing he had on clothing wise was a pair of baggy gray sweatpants. His headset sat atop his messy dyed dirty blonde hair.
Yunho couldn’t hear her movements over Wooyoung and Jongho now the ones arguing in the game through his headset, but he certainly felt her when she brushed against his leg, crawling under his desk. He looked down at her as the game was on the load screen, y/n peeking up at him now between his legs. “What are you doing?” He mouthed so the others wouldn’t hear over the headset.
Y/N only smirked at him. This was payback for not only getting her killed in the game but how he left her edged and on the brink of orgasm the day before. They had gotten into an argument in the living room, something about someone going into Yunho’s room and turning off his pc while he had a game paused.
An argument that eventually lead to Yunho having y/n bent over the couch, a hand gripping her hair, head pulled back as he was hitting it from behind, the lewd noises loud, echoing in the apartment along with y/n loud cries and moans mixed with Yunho’s filthy words.
“You do that shit on purpose, don’t you?” His hand came down hard on her ass causing y/n to jolt forward and giving Yunho the perfect opportunity to grip her waist and yank her back, dick thrusting all the way back inside her aching, edged cunt. “Fucking brat.”
His hand was tangled back in her hair, yanking her up, y/n back against his chest just as keys could be heard at the front door. Yunho had pulled out of her and darted to his room, trying not to trip over his own feet. Y/N had snatched her discarded clothes up and darted to her own room just before Wooyoung walked through the door.
Yunho clenched his jaw as y/n glided her hands up his legs, fingers grazing his bellybutton before dipping into the waistband of his pants and pulling them back just enough to be able to pull his hardening dick free.
His dick always betrayed him when it came to her. “This is what you get for leaving me to finish myself yesterday.” She wrapped her hand around him, working a steady rhythm up and down his length until Yunho had to bite his lip to keep from moaning, his dick now fully hard and aching to be buried inside her, mouth, pussy, he wasn’t picky.
“Dude, you good?” Jongho asked when a deep moan escaped Yunho, echoing in his friend’s ears through their headsets when y/n tongue started licking at his tip, hand still jerking him, thumb tracing a prominent vein that had Yunho almost whimpering.
“I…. I yeah… I just stubbed my toe under…. my desk.” It was a terrible lie and it wouldn’t be a good enough excuse to cover up the almost growl that left him when y/n removed her hand to bring his entire length into her mouth, his tip hitting the back of her throat and causing her to gag at the fullness and stretch.
“Ok, what the hell?” This time it was San who called him out. Yunho switched his movements from the mouse to the keyboard, using one hand to continue playing while reaching down to tangle his other hand into y/n hair, gripping it and gaining control, making her slow down the sudden messy, gagging, bob of her head on his dick. “Wooyoung, you just ran right into that fucking sniper!” Yunho ignored San, heart racing, that familiar tightness in his stomach growing.
How Yunho managed to play with one hand y/n had no idea but then again, he was annoyingly good at everything. She could feel he was close, his dick twitching against her tongue as he continued to move her head, fucking her mouth at a steady pace as he continued playing the game. He was biting his bottom lip so hard to keep from making anymore noise, it would be suspicious if he just muted his mic, his friends are nosy and would ask questions.
Suddenly, a loud “FUCK!” left Jongho when his player was killed, loud enough to muffle the deep moan that left Yunho as he came, y/n swallowing every last drop of his release, tears slightly forming at the crease of her eyes due to Yunho pushing her head down as far as he could get her, y/n nose pressed against pelvis.
Yunho released the grip he had on her, his hand moving to cover his mouth as his breathing came out in shallow pants. Y/N gasped for her own breath, wiping at her face before crawling up into Yunho’s lap. He had to mute his mic then. “Are you fucking serious right now? Wooyoung is literally down the hall, my door is open and…”
“Shut up.” Y/N rolled her eyes at him because she honestly just didn’t give a shit anymore. They’d been sneaking around for over two months now and she was tired. So what if their friends found out? The worst they’d do is tease them before finding something else to throw dumb jokes at. “Besides…” she smirked, reaching without Yunho seeing her to unmute his mic. “you’re already getting hard again.”
If Yunho would just look at his computer screen he’d notice the way his friends players were no longer moving. If he wasn’t so distracted by the taste of himself lingering on y/n tongue as she kissed him, he probably would of noticed how Wooyoung, San and Jongho had all grown dead silent through his headset.
“Wait…” Yunho pulled his headset off, carelessly placing it onto his desk, pausing his game. He’d tell the guys he had to use the bathroom or something, whatever. He’d make something up. “Take this off.” He was pulling at y/n shirt, helping her take it off, tossing it behind him somewhere on the floor in his room.
Of course she had no fucking bra on, Yunho dove in, arms wrapping around her, helping y/n to get some friction through her pajama shorts against his dick as he pulled one of her nipples into his mouth.
“No teasing, you did enough of that yesterday.” Y/N pulled at his hair, yanking his head back, Yunho’s lips so plump, face flushed, ears red. “Just fuck me.” Yunho was so lost in her, the mere thought of having his dick buried inside her that he completely forgot his door was open, still no idea that his mic was not on mute.
“Look at you” Yunho was smirking now, hands gripping her waist to hold her still. “so desperate for my dick you almost got us caught.”
Almost? Y/N refrained from smirking back at his cluelessness, instead putting on her best pleading face, lips pouting, moaning his name as she could feel him, hard, pressing against her aching cunt through the silky lilac fabric of her shorts. “Come on, please…” She barely ever begged but she was damn horny. Another reason why she liked to push his buttons, angry Yunho was a complete turn on for her.
Yunho let her go, nodding his head at her as y/n was quick to crawl off his lap and remove her shorts, him lifting his hips in his chair just enough to give space to shove his sweatpants on down his legs, kicking them under his desk. “Ride me.” Yunho’s voice dropped, so deep it had y/n clenching around nothing as he guided her back to straddling him.
Yunho gripped a hand against one of the little arms of his gaming chair to help steady them as y/n own hands pulled herself up using his shoulder for leverage, Yunho’s other hand reaching to help guide his dick into her, moans leaving them both as he filled her to the hilt. Both of Yunho’s hands went to grip at her hips, y/n own going to tug at his hair, the other around his throat.
“Why are we still listening?” San exclaimed over his headset. The lewd noises echoing in their ears from Yunho’s end made it very clear what was going on. “Because it’s fucking hot.” Wooyoung stated, practically whimpering towards the noises of his roommates.
“Wooyoung, you fucking freak.” Jongho teased him before clearing his throat as a rather loud moan escaped Yunho, y/n name on his lips. “Dude, go do something! They’re your roommates.” He could go and tell them to shut the fuck up. The sound of them together a little too hot for all three of them listening. They all had a boner.
“Fuck…. you always feel me up so…. good….” Y/N was a gasping, crying mess. Legs shaking, breathless. She could feel her orgasm ready to burst with every touch of Yunho’s dick hitting her g spot. Her stomach was in knots, eyes practically crossed as he held her arms behind her, using his knees as leverage to pound into her from where she straddled him in his gaming chair.
Yunho was close too, thrusting sloppy and fast, kissing at any part of her skin he could reach from his position. “So fucking good….. so fucking good for me…” he was mumbling, moaning, whining against her throat.
“Mine.” He pulled back, smirking, pupils blown. “My brat.” Two more deep thrusts and y/n was coming with his name a scream ringing from her lips. Four more thrusts and Yunho was coming, filling her so fucking full his legs shook.
They both yelled, Yunho groaning when he broke the fall as their movements caused the chair to rock off balance, plummeting them both to the floor. Yunho’s arms were wrapped tightly around y/n, dick sliding out of her as she slipped up his body. Both of them were panting, breathless, both from post orgasm and the fall.
“Holy shit…” Wooyoung was standing in the doorway, gaze dark as he had been watching them from Yunho’s open bedroom door. It’s not like he meant to, he was gonna knock on Yunho’s door but then… well… he couldn’t fucking look away. His roommates were so fucking hot together. He knew they had to of noticed the prominent hard bulge in his loose black pajama pants.
“You guys want a third?”
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note: am I putting together a gamer yunho full story? well yes!
tag list: @autieofthevalley @hannahlilibet411 @lovinjjong @wisejudgedragonhairdo @soupbinlily @georgeanabanana @yunyuniverse @minkioswoo @ateezswonderland @thuyting @hum4n-e4ter @atinyyuyu @zerefdragn33l
Silent vows| K.Y.S
Pairing: Mafia!Yeosang x Reader
Genre: Arranged marriage, slight enemies to lovers, fluff
Word count: 22.4k
Warnings: forced marriage, emotional abuse, stalking, jealousy, implied violence, insecurity, yeosang is THE husband, we all want him
AN: Ok so happy belated birthday to my boy yeosang. The most prettiest, angelic mf I've ever seen. Like how can a man be so pretty and handsome at the same damn time. Also this was kinda like a prompt but I can't for the love of god find the comment. But you know who you are, thank you
Masterlist
“I’m not doing it.”
The words left your mouth before you could stop them, sharp and fast, cutting across the heavy air in the room like a blade. The study smelled like old leather and wood polish, the same way it always did when your father called you in for his lectures. But this wasn’t a lecture. This was something else. He sat behind that heavy desk, wearing the same expression he always wore when he made decisions for other people’s lives— calm, practiced, untouchable.
“This isn’t a request,” he answered, barely sparing you a glance. “It’s a responsibility.”
You could’ve laughed. Honestly, you almost did. Responsibility. That word sounded hilarious coming out of his mouth. What did he know about responsibility? The only thing he was responsible for was dragging this family name around town like it was some royal crest, acting like being respected by neighbors counted for anything real in the world.
“You don’t get to sell me off like I’m a—”
“Enough.”
Just that one word. Quiet. Heavy. And somehow louder than your shouting could ever be. Your mother was standing near the window, arms folded like she was cold even though the room was warm. She didn’t speak. She never did, not in front of him. Just stood there looking outside, twisting her rings like she could disappear into the carpet if she tried hard enough. You hated that you weren’t even surprised.
“This marriage will benefit this family,” your father continued, smoothing his sleeves like this was some business meeting. “We’ve built this name for generations. And you will protect it.”
You clenched your fists tighter, nails biting into your palms. “Your reputation doesn’t mean anything outside this stupid town.”
It slipped before you could stop it, but you didn’t regret it. You meant it. All these formal dinners, these family events, these endless talks about legacy— all of it felt empty. Like a dying empire pretending it was still a kingdom.
“This family has survived longer than you’ve been alive,” your father shot back, finally meeting your gaze with steel in his eyes. “And you’ll do your part to make sure it stays that way.”
You could feel the walls closing in. You could feel your freedom shrinking, curling in on itself, suffocating before you could even scream.
“Kang Yeosang.”
The name hit you like a slap. Sharp. Direct. Cold. You knew that name. Everyone did. Not because he was some loud, reckless criminal—no, worse than that. He was dangerous in a way that didn’t make noise. Dangerous in the way silent oceans are. You don’t notice how deep they are until you’re already halfway sunk.
“Why him?” you asked, throat dry.
Your father barely blinked. “Because his family’s name will keep ours alive.”
Alive. Like this was survival. Like marrying you off to someone you didn’t even know was a favor. Like it was a gift. You hated how calm he was about it. You hated how your mother still hadn’t said a single word. You hated how small you felt in that moment, standing in a house you used to believe was home.
“I’m not going to his house,” you muttered finally, stubbornness flaring even when your heart was hammering in your chest. “You can make me marry him, but I’m not moving in with some— some stranger.”
For a second, you thought maybe—just maybe—that would get a reaction. That something in him would soften, crack, break.
It didn’t.
Instead, he stood. Calm. Slow. Adjusting the cuffs of his shirt with careful precision, like he was bored of the conversation already. “You will,” he said softly. “You’ll go to his house, you’ll be his wife, and you’ll do what’s expected of you.” “And if I don’t?” you pushed, lifting your chin like you weren’t breaking inside.
His gaze sharpened just enough for the threat underneath to show, sharp and cold as glass. “Then I’ll handle it my way.”
You knew what his way meant. Not blood. Not mafia violence. But ruin. Reputation torn apart. Family turned against you. Friends pushed away. He knew how to break you the polite way, the respectable way. Quiet destruction in the form of shame.
You swallowed thick, hot air that didn’t want to go down.
“I hate you,” you breathed.
But your father was already walking away, steps quiet against the polished floor.
“I can live with that.”
Your throat burned with all the things you wanted to scream, but only one thing came out. “What about my studies?”
It sounded small. Weak. But it was the only lifeline you could grab onto in that moment. Something that was yours. The one thing you had left that wasn’t part of their family dinners, or reputation games, or polite handshakes pretending to be alliances.
University was supposed to be your escape. Not glamorous. Not perfect. But it was freedom in its own, small way—early mornings, long commutes, paper deadlines, friends who didn’t care about who your father was.
Your father barely reacted.
“You can continue after the wedding,” he answered flatly, as if you were asking if you could have dessert after dinner.
You stared at him. “After?”
“Yes. You’ll still attend.”
But you knew what that meant. You knew the weight behind those words. After the wedding. After moving into a stranger’s house. After taking his last name. After your life wasn’t yours anymore. Technically, sure—you could go back. Physically, you could sit in the same classrooms, scribble in the same notebooks. But it wouldn’t be the same. Not with whispers curling behind your back. Not with people watching you like you were an exhibit. “That’s her—the girl who married into them.”
It would hang on you like invisible chains. Dragging behind you everywhere you went.
And worst of all—you wouldn’t be able to come home. Not really. Not to this family. Not to your old life. You’d have a new last name, a new house, a new set of rules written by someone else’s hand.
The walls of the study felt like they were closing in.
“I don’t want this,” you said, quieter this time. No yelling. Just raw honesty, like a last ditch effort to claw your way out. “This isn’t my life.”
Your father looked at you the same way he looked at accounts on paper. Math. Numbers. Problems to solve, not feelings to fix.
“It is now.”
Simple. Unforgiving. Final.
You could almost feel the weight of your choices shrinking down to nothing. Every dream you used to picture folded neatly into a little box, pushed aside for family names and legacy dinners with strangers in pressed suits. Your stomach twisted. Hot. Cold. Rage and panic mixing together until you couldn’t tell which was worse.
You wanted to shout, wanted to break something, wanted to drag this perfect little empire down brick by brick just to prove you could—but you stood there frozen, fists clenched, staring at a man who would never, ever see you as anything but his tool first.
Come to the house.”
“Now?”
“Now.”
Yeosang sighed, rubbing his hand over his jaw. “Alright. Be there in twenty.”
It wasn’t unusual—getting called over like this. His father didn’t waste words, didn’t waste visits. If he was calling, it meant something needed handling.
By the time he got to the mansion, the gates were already open like they always were when they expected him. The house was quiet, the same way expensive places are—grand, but not loud about it. Just old money tastefully sitting in every piece of polished wood.
His father was already in the study when Yeosang stepped inside, standing by the window, one hand in his pocket like it was muscle memory by now. Glass of whiskey in the other. Of course.
“You’re early,” his father said without turning around.
“You said now.”
His father finally looked over, gave him that familiar once-over like he was assessing a report. “Fair enough.”
There was a beat of silence. Not tense. Just quiet.
Then—
“There’s going to be a wedding.”
Yeosang blinked once. “Yours?”
His father gave him a flat look, one eyebrow raising the way it always did when Yeosang was being difficult on purpose. “Yours.”
Yeosang huffed a breath, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh, stepping further into the room. “That supposed to be funny?”
His father didn’t smile. “I’m serious.”
Yeosang stood still for a second, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek. “Is that what you dragged me here for? Could’ve sent a text.”
“This isn’t a text conversation.”
“You’d be surprised what can be said over text these days.”
That earned the smallest twitch at the corner of his father’s mouth. Approval, maybe. Maybe not. Hard to tell with him.
“It’s arranged,” his father said, cutting through Yeosang’s deflection cleanly. “Her family’s name still matters in this town. Not rich, not influential in our way, but solid. Traditional. The kind of people who care about reputation more than their own comfort.”
Yeosang tilted his head slightly. “So… charity work?”
“Strategy,” his father corrected smoothly. “They need stability. We don’t need much from them, but it keeps everything clean.”
“Clean,” Yeosang repeated under his breath. He crossed his arms, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe. “And I’m guessing I don’t get a vote?”
“You get an understanding. That’s enough.”
Yeosang didn’t argue. Not because he agreed, but because he knew there was no point. This was how it worked. Give and take. Favors. Names. Quiet deals behind closed doors.
He exhaled through his nose. “Who is she?”
“Y/L/N’s daughter.”
Yeosang’s brow ticked. “Didn’t know they had one.”
“Not surprising. They keep her out of sight. Books, classes, family dinners. But they need her to secure their name before it fades.”
Yeosang thought about that for a second. Reputation marriages were common enough. Boring, mostly. People shaking hands over other people’s futures like it was stock trading.
“You’ve met her?” he asked.
“Briefly. Enough to know she’s going to fight it.”
“Great.”
His father glanced at him then, sharp. “Not your job to like it. Just your job to make it work.”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t,” Yeosang muttered, rolling his jaw. “I’m just saying… if she’s gonna be difficult, it’s gonna be annoying.”
His father’s gaze didn’t soften, but there was a certain understanding there. “You’ll handle it.”
Yeosang let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah,” he said, pushing off the doorframe. “Guess I will.”
As he turned to leave, his father added quietly, “This isn’t punishment.”
“I know.”
And he did. This was just how things worked. Fair or not—his life wasn’t completely his own anymore. Yeosang sat behind the wheel, thumb tapping against the steering wheel as he pulled out of the driveway. Headlights cutting clean lines through the dark street, smooth turns, muscle memory driving him home while his mind drifted elsewhere.
Marriage. Arranged.
He scoffed quietly to himself, shaking his head once. What was he supposed to do with someone else’s family name attached to his life?
Some sheltered daughter of a traditional family, probably the kind who spent too much money on handbags and complained when the AC wasn’t cold enough. He could already hear the whining. Could already see the way she’d expect to live in his place, treat it like a hotel, float through his routine like an expensive perfume he didn’t ask to wear.
No, that wasn’t happening.
Maybe he’d buy her an apartment somewhere else. Nothing fancy, but decent enough. They could do the whole photo ops thing, wear the rings, play nice for the public, then go back to separate lives. Paper marriage. Clean. Or worse—she could be one of those girls who latched on for money. Gold digger. Probably already imagining his credit cards with her initials on the back.
He pressed his tongue to his cheek in irritation. God, he hated gold diggers.
Maybe she’d show up to the first meeting with some designer bag acting shy, but batting lashes like she knew exactly how to play the game. All wide eyes and fake humility. Great. Just what he needed—another headache in heels.
And the name—YN.
It felt familiar. Couldn’t place it, but the reputation was old enough to echo through town. Traditional. Reputed. The type of family that prided themselves on manners but ate each other alive behind closed doors.
The kind that smiled with their teeth.
He drummed his fingers once more, sharp taps on the leather, jaw set.
Alright.
If he was going to be stuck with this arrangement, he might as well know what he was dealing with. And he wasn’t about to walk into it blind. He had resources. Skills. Connections that didn’t come from LinkedIn profiles or polite family dinners. If they thought he was going to just sit back and play along without checking her first, they clearly didn’t know him well enough.
Fine. If she was going to be part of his life, even on paper, he’d find out exactly who she was—before she even stepped in the same room as him.
He flicked his blinker, turning toward his penthouse, already thinking about who to call first.
Let’s see what Miss YN was hiding.
By the time Yeosang finished, he knew more about her than her own family probably did.
University—small, local, nothing flashy. Biology major. Not exactly the typical rich family trophy daughter. No branded handbags, no influencer lifestyle. Her socials were barely active. Private, even. Most of her posts were old, nothing more than the occasional picture of a sunset or food she cooked. No thirst traps. No fake aesthetic feeds.
She liked drawing. Had an old art account that hadn’t been touched in months—messy sketches of flowers and animals, all pencil or black ink. Crochet too. Random photos of half-finished scarves stuffed in a drawer. Cooking—simple recipes, home stuff, not the kind of thing you post to show off, just to remember.
Her friends? A few from university. Small group chats. Normal conversations. Mostly about classes, complaining about assignments, nothing interesting. No clubbing pictures. No vacation shots with secret boyfriends tagged under fake accounts.
The further he dug, the more it annoyed him—not because he found anything bad, but because he didn’t. No scandals, no secret plans to social climb, no hidden motives that screamed gold digger or spoiled brat.
She was just… boring.
Boring in the way people are when they’re not trying to be noticed. And for some reason, that irritated him more than if she had been a problem.
Yeosang leaned back in his chair, tossing his phone on the table. Elbow propped on the armrest, hand running through his hair, frustration curling at the edges of his jaw.
Great. Now he was stuck marrying some quiet, awkward, crochet-making biology nerd who probably spent more time reading textbooks than thinking about designer clothes. Not exactly the chaos he was expecting.
But that was fine.
Boring or not, it didn’t change the situation. Didn’t change the fact that she probably didn’t want this marriage any more than he did. Didn’t change the fact that, like it or not, she was about to become his problem.
The small cafe tucked between two old bookstores smelled like cinnamon and burnt espresso, the kind of place you’d miss unless you were looking for it. Y/N liked it that way—quiet, steady, familiar. No loud music, no influencers with tripods. Just people who liked good coffee and minding their own business.
She stepped up to the counter, eyes scanning the pastries before glancing at the girl behind the register. “I love your hair,” she said softly, a small smile pulling at her lips. “That color looks really good on you.” The girl blinked, caught off guard, then smiled wide. “Oh! Thank you—I just dyed it last week.”
Y/N nodded, pleased. Compliments were easy. They made people softer. And the girl was pretty, her pastel blue curls tucked behind her ear like she wasn’t sure yet if she liked them. Little things like that made the world feel less sharp.
She ordered her coffee, tucked herself into the corner seat like she always did, pulling her notebook out of her bag. Pages filled with messy diagrams, doodles in the margins, recipes scrawled sideways between molecular structures.
What she didn’t notice—what no one noticed—was the man sitting at the table near the window, fingers idly circling the rim of his untouched cup, black baseball cap low over his brow.
Yeosang watched all of it with that same steady, unreadable expression he always wore when he was thinking too much. He wasn’t even sure why he was there. Habit, maybe. Curiosity. Boredom. The fact that the more he found out about her, the more it didn’t add up with what he expected. Normal girls didn’t compliment strangers just because. Normal girls—especially daughters of families clawing for reputation—were supposed to be fake polite. Smile, nod, move on. But she meant it. He could tell. You didn’t fake that kind of tone.
He watched the way she curled into herself, scribbling in that notebook like the rest of the world didn’t exist, lips pressed into a soft frown of concentration.
Just a quiet girl who looked like she was holding herself together with coffee and stubbornness.
Yeosang leaned back in his chair, crossing one ankle over his knee, jaw ticking once. This was going to be annoying in a completely different way. Y/N didn’t notice him when she left.
He watched her go, watched the way she shrugged her bag higher onto her shoulder, thumb absentmindedly rubbing at a little ink stain on her wrist from writing earlier. She moved like someone used to being unnoticed, like she liked it that way. The door chimed behind her, soft and forgettable.
Yeosang waited a beat, then stood, shoving his hands into his coat pockets as he stepped out onto the street. He wasn’t planning to follow her. Not really. That wasn’t his thing. He wasn’t the lurking type. But something about the whole thing felt unfinished—like he’d walked into a movie halfway through and now he needed to know how it ended, even if it was boring. Especially because it was boring.
She turned down one of the smaller streets, familiar paths clearly mapped in her head. She didn’t hesitate. Not once. Like she’d walked this way so many times her feet didn’t need permission anymore.
Normal. Predictable….Except for the part where, in a few weeks, her life wouldn’t be.
That was the thing gnawing at the edge of his mind. She didn’t know yet. Not fully. Probably knew about the arrangement, sure, but she didn’t know what marrying into his family meant. What marrying him meant. She looked like she still had hope things would be fine. Like she still thought she could negotiate her way out of it if she used the right tone with her father.
Cute.
He wasn’t cruel. He wasn’t the type to tear down someone just because he could. But he wasn’t about to let someone walk into his life acting like it was optional.
This marriage was happening. She was going to be his. And the sooner she realized that, the easier it was going to be for both of them.
Yeosang sighed, pulling his cap lower as he turned the opposite direction, heading back toward his car. No point in being seen. Not yet. He’d play it properly, like he always did—let the introductions happen the way their fathers arranged, act like this was his first time seeing her. Civil. Normal.
For now, she could keep her quiet cafes and notebooks full of diagrams.
Soon enough, she’d be sitting across from him at a dinner table pretending she wasn’t thinking about escape routes.
And when that time came—
He’d enjoy watching the fight leave her eyes when she realized there weren’t any.
The dining room was too polished. Everything in it felt like it belonged in a magazine—heavy chairs, polished forks, crystal glasses that didn’t belong to people who used them often. It smelled faintly like expensive old wood and control.
Y/N sat straight, shoulders set, jaw locked like she’d been preparing for this her entire life. Polite daughter. Obedient. Chin slightly tilted up—not too much to look rude, just enough to show she wasn’t going to shatter on command.
Across the table, Yeosang sat with his elbow resting lazily on the armrest, fingers tapping slow against the tablecloth. His gaze was on her, not in the obvious way, not wide-eyed or curious—more like someone reading a file they already memorized but going over it again for fun.
“So,” his father started, formal tone sharp around the edges, “this is long overdue.”
Her father chuckled lightly, already halfway sunk into the leather chair like this was a golf meeting. “We’ve been meaning to sit down properly.”
Yeosang barely blinked. “Mm.”
Y/N didn’t look at him at first. Her eyes were trained on her plate, expression soft but unreadable, like she’d pulled politeness over herself like armor. When she finally did glance at him, it wasn’t shy—it was calculated. Brave. Probably spent the last week practicing it in the mirror.
Didn’t matter.
He knew everything already. Biology major. Draws on the side. Probably keeps her yarn stuffed in a drawer somewhere in that tiny bedroom of hers. Ordinary, and for some reason, that irritated him more than anything else could have.
Their parents carried the conversation like businessmen. Deals, family names, subtle remarks about strengthening ties. It wasn’t a dinner—it was a contract, disguised in roast chicken and overpriced wine.
Yeosang’s eyes didn’t leave her.
Y/N shifted her grip on the napkin under the table, folding it tighter in her palm. Eyes stayed low—not on purpose, not because she was scared—but because eye contact always felt like permission for people to ask more questions. And she wasn’t in the mood to explain herself to anyone at that table.
Yeosang sat across from her, speaking with her father like he wasn’t being sized up for marriage. Confident. Comfortable in a room full of expectations. His voice was steady, like someone used to being listened to, used to having the final word in a conversation. The kind of steady that didn’t need raising.
His father said something about ties between families. Her father hummed in agreement. Someone poured more wine. The edge of Yeosang’s gaze cut toward her briefly. He didn’t stare. Just checked. Like someone glancing at a watch to see how much longer they had to stay.
“So,” his voice finally reached her side of the table, low, smooth, without decoration, “biology.”
Her fork hovered, not quite raised, not quite lowered. “Yeah.”
He waited. No explanation followed. No polite rambling about how she got into it, what she wanted to do with it, how hard it was balancing studies with life. Just that quiet confirmation, like she wasn’t going to give him more than that unless dragged.
Something about that pulled a faint curve to the corner of his mouth—not a smile, not even close, just interest. Her fingers folded the napkin tighter.
“You gonna finish that?” he asked, eyes flicking to the untouched half of roasted potatoes on her plate.
Finally, her eyes met his. Not soft, not flirty—flat. Careful. “Do you want it?”
He shrugged once. “Didn’t think you were shy about eating.” “I’m not.”
He raised an eyebrow, mildly amused. “Good.”
Silence again, heavy but not uncomfortable. Just two people used to not needing to fill it. Her father started speaking about how she could continue studying after marriage, casual, like saying we’ll paint the guest room next week. She didn’t bother correcting him, though the heaviness in her chest said she wanted to. No way it would actually work that easily.
She didn’t say anything else for the rest of the meal. Yeosang didn’t, either.
He just watched her, like a lion watching something small—not because he wanted to pounce, but because he was curious if it was going to run. Neither of them moved first.
Yeosang watched the way her fingers kept folding the napkin tighter and tighter, like if she could just make it small enough, she could disappear into it. But her expression didn’t match the tension in her hands. She didn’t look flustered. Didn’t look desperate. Just… controlled. Like someone who’d been living with locked doors their whole life and knew better than to jiggle the handle too loud. Interesting.
“Do you usually not talk,” he murmured, cutting into the silence, “or is that just for me?”
The faintest breath of humor pulled at her nose before she could stop it. “Depends.”
“On?”
She let her gaze flick up—not to his eyes, just above them. “Whether or not the person across from me deserves it.” His tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, and for a second, he almost laughed. Almost. This wasn’t what he expected. Spoiled daughters didn’t sit at tables folding napkins into perfect squares like they were holding knives in their laps.
And she didn’t look at him properly, not even once. Not because she was scared. Because she didn’t care. But she would.
Not in the way girls cared about him normally. Not wide-eyed or hopeful. No, she was going to care when she realized exactly how much of her life was about to be decided for her whether she folded napkins or full pages of essays. And the funny thing was—he didn’t want to break her. He just wanted to watch how long she could hold that line before she blinked first.
After the dinner dragged itself to its dull, polished conclusion, with the adults shaking hands over dessert like they’d just signed a treaty, Yeosang leaned back in his chair, elbow resting against the polished wood, fingertips brushing his jaw like he was thinking something over. And maybe he was. But the look in his eyes said this was calculated.
“So,” he said casually, but with the kind of weight that immediately drew the attention of both families, “how about next Thursday?”
The words dropped into the space between them with a deliberate softness, like a stone hitting still water. No one moved. His father raised a brow slightly, clearly pleased with the display of initiative. Her father smiled, the kind of smile fathers wear when they think their daughter’s life is finally falling in line. And Y/N—Y/N kept her fingers on the edge of her plate, eyes flickering up to Yeosang, finally, properly, but only for a second.
“Thursday?” she echoed, like she needed to make sure she heard him right, even though she absolutely had.
He nodded once, slow, composed. “Next week. You’ll be free, won’t you?”
It wasn’t a question. Not really. Not with the way every eye at that table turned toward her, expectant, waiting for her to be agreeable. Marriage was already settled like property; a casual dinner date wasn’t going to shake the foundation of that, but somehow, this felt worse.
Her jaw tensed before she could stop it, irritation curling hot under her ribs—not because she didn’t expect him to test her, but because he chose Thursday. Her only weekday off. Her only breathing space. Her only time where nobody expected her to be anything, say anything, do anything. She studied late on Thursdays, sometimes sat in the library doing nothing but scribbling messy notes on scrap paper that didn’t mean anything, just because she could. And now he was looking at her like he knew that. Like he’d planned that.
“I suppose,” she muttered, voice clipped, polite, lined with quiet annoyance that no one but him seemed sharp enough to hear. “Since you’ve already picked the day for me.”
Their fathers chuckled, pleased at the display of future marital bliss like they were in on some great joke. His father gave him that approving glance—the good, take responsibility look that was passed between powerful men in rooms like this. But Yeosang wasn’t watching anyone else. Just her. Measuring. Testing. Curious how far she could fold before snapping.
“You’ll like it,” he said simply. No tease. No apology. No smile.
She didn’t respond. Just folded the napkin in her lap one more time before setting it neatly on the table like she was handling something fragile. She didn’t look at him again, not because she was shy, but because she knew better. If she did, it’d feel like she was giving him something.
And right now, she wasn’t in the mood to give him anything. But she was curious now. Why Thursday?
Yeosang saw everything. He wasn’t sitting there with that calm posture and steady gaze for show—he was trained for this, raised on discipline sharper than any blade, molded under the expectation that one day he would carry the weight of something much heavier than family name. He was observant. Always. And while everyone at that table was busy patting each other’s backs over the success of an arranged marriage neither party asked for, Yeosang was watching her like a map he was learning by memory.
It was the way she folded the napkin—not once, not twice, but over and over. Each time, pressing it smaller, sharper, tucking corners like she wanted it neat but not too neat, controlled but never pristine. People who folded things that many times weren’t trying to fidget—they were trying to manage something they couldn’t put words to. He’d seen it in tense meetings, watched rival leaders smooth the edges of cufflinks or touch their watches repeatedly when they were hiding nerves or holding in words they couldn’t say aloud.
And she didn’t even realize she was doing it.
But that wasn’t the only thing. He caught the tiny shifts in her posture whenever her parents leaned too close, a subtle lean away—not disrespectful, not obvious, just barely enough to create distance like muscle memory. She didn’t flinch. She didn’t recoil. She managed it. As if that small separation was the only thing keeping her breathing steadily through this whole suffocating display of family pride.
Then there was her food. The careful way she pushed it around her plate, not because she was picky or entitled, but because eating under watchful eyes wasn’t the same as eating alone. Separating textures, shapes, colors, almost like categorizing parts of herself she wasn’t ready to share yet. It wasn’t disinterest—it was control. She was being studied, so she gave them nothing. Not even in the way she chewed.
Most people didn’t notice these things. Hell, most people didn’t even know they did them. But Yeosang saw it all like someone reading subtitles under a movie no one else could hear. And with every fold of that napkin, with every subtle lean of her shoulder, with every glance that never quite met anyone else’s fully, he knew one thing for certain—
She was no ordinary girl.
No spoiled daughter. No meek little thing waiting for a husband to save her from some sheltered life. There was something under that careful silence, something sharp, something waiting. Not the loud kind of defiance—but the quiet kind that made revolutions possible if left alone too long.
Yeosang didn’t know what that thing was yet. But he wanted to. Not to break her. Not to tame her. Not even to get under her skin. He just wanted to see what would happen if someone finally pressed back. And he was more than prepared to be that someone.
But he was no saint, either. Sure, Yeosang was observant. Sure, he was sharp, disciplined, raised on a steady diet of politics, violence, and strategy—but he was also his father’s son. And that bloodline came with one very particular curse: the chronic, unrelenting need to poke at things just to see what sound they made when they cracked. It wasn’t malicious. It wasn’t even personal. It was just in his bones.
And she—sitting there with her neat napkin folding and careful glances and that stubborn refusal to give him anything—was basically gift-wrapped for that exact kind of cruelty.
Admit it. He was intrigued by her, sure. But more than that, there was an itch under his skin when he looked at her, this annoying, bratty curiosity that made him want to press buttons just to see what she’d do. Not because he wanted to humiliate her. Not because he wanted to watch her fall apart. No, it was because she didn’t flinch. And that was interesting. Different. Everyone flinched eventually—but she just… adjusted.
And she looked cute annoyed.
Not the whiny, spoiled kind of cute. Not the bratty, helpless kind. The kind of cute that made him want to lean closer, just to see if her voice would crack the same way her napkin did under her fingers.
He shouldn’t care. He shouldn’t even be here, technically, wasting brainpower on reading into a girl he was being forced to marry by family names he didn’t even particularly respect. But here he was, running mental diagnostics on someone’s napkin folding like it was part of a case file, and liking it more than he should.
And if he was going to be dragged into this circus of arranged happiness, he might as well have fun while he was at it.
Testing her? It wasn’t just strategy anymore. It was entertainment. Annoying her? That was just hereditary.
She really didn’t want to go.
Like—borderline, jump-off-the-balcony level of not wanting to go. Not because she thought it would fix anything, not because she was dramatic, but because the sheer dread of giving up the one day that belonged to her made her stomach twist. It was Thursday. Thursday was hers. Her one breath in a week full of held ones. Her one clean, unclaimed square of time where no one asked her to smile, or marry, or fold herself into something palatable.
But she didn’t jump, because that wasn’t how good girls act.
Her mother’s voice echoed in the bathroom as she brushed mascara through her lashes. ‘Be agreeable, Y/N. Don’t embarrass us. You’re not going to be one of those girls with tantrums and police reports. You’re better than that.’
Better. Whatever that meant.
So she got dressed. Pulled on clothes that said I didn’t try but I still look good because if she was going to be dragged into this, she was going to do it on her terms. She tied her shoes like she was tightening a tether around her own ankles. Did her makeup—not too much, not too little, just enough to look alive, to hide the exhaustion that simmered under polite nods and family dinners.
And when she finally looked at herself in the mirror, it wasn’t vanity staring back. It was survival. Thursday. Her Thursday. And now she was about to spend it across from him.
That annoying Yeosang with his sharp eyes and careful words, with his I’m watching you energy and the quiet smugness that didn’t need smiles or stupid flirting to make itself known. She could already hear his voice in her head, perfectly even, perfectly annoying.
And yet—she still tied her hair the way she liked it. Still put on her favorite necklace. Not for him. For herself. Because if she was going to war, she might as well wear armor.
She went down the stairs like muscle memory, footsteps light but steady, not really registering anything around her. Her parents said something—maybe a wish, maybe a warning, maybe one of those sugary “be good” reminders her mother loved so much. But it was all white noise, just the hum of life happening in the background of a mind that was already somewhere else entirely.
She didn’t ignore them on purpose. She was just zoned out. The kind of zoned out where you don’t even realize your keys are already in your hand, or that you locked the door behind you without thinking about it. Automatic. Like when you’re walking to class with music on and suddenly you’re already at the building, but you don’t remember crossing the street.
She didn’t remember leaving the front door. Didn’t remember if she’d even said goodbye, or if her mom had tried to fix the fold of her sleeve one last time like she always did. And she definitely didn’t see him until she stepped out onto the pavement and felt him.
There’s a specific kind of awareness that happens when someone’s eyes are already on you before you’ve noticed them. Like a silent tap on the shoulder. She glanced up—
—and there he was.
Leaning back comfortably in the driver’s seat of a sleek black car, windows down just enough to catch the breeze, one hand draped over the steering wheel like he had all the time in the world. Rap music playing in the background, not quiet but not obnoxiously loud. And that expression—not quite a smile, definitely not a grin, just that irritating curve of satisfaction people wore when they’d predicted something exactly right. Smug wasn’t even the word for it. It was too clean. Too Yeosang. Of course he was already here.
Of course he was watching her like he knew she wouldn’t have noticed him until now. She blinked once, slow, lips pressed in a thin line, and then kept walking. Didn’t acknowledge him, didn’t offer a greeting, just moved like she was late for something even though she wasn’t.
He leaned slightly forward as she approached, tapping his fingers once against the steering wheel, eyes glinting with that silent, irritating amusement.
You walked towards the car, your steps slower than usual, annoyance bubbling up at the sight of him sitting there, looking far too comfortable. You crossed your arms and leaned slightly against the door, giving him a flat look.
“I wasn’t aware you were picking me up,” you said, trying to keep your voice neutral. It came out a little sharper than intended, but you couldn't help it. This whole thing felt off, like you were being dragged into a game that you hadn’t agreed to play.
Yeosang just looked at you with that annoying, cocky expression, the one that always made your blood boil, and shrugged a shoulder. "Well, you should've been. It’s not like you had many options."
You felt a flicker of irritation, but it quickly settled into a calm mask. You weren’t about to give him the satisfaction of showing how much he got under your skin. Moving towards the backdoor, you reached for the handle, ready to slide in and get this over with.
Before you could even touch it, the car locked with a loud click.
You froze.
What the hell?
You looked up at him, surprised. He just sat there, still with that casual air, his eyes gleaming as if he was waiting for a reaction.
“Excuse me?” you said, narrowing your eyes.
Without missing a beat, he simply pointed to the passenger seat with an almost lazy gesture. "Sit there."
You blinked at him. You were about to say something—probably something rude—but you stopped yourself. There was no way you were going to let him mess with you like this. Still, you didn’t argue. You didn't have the energy to fight him over something so trivial. The car door opened with a quick swipe, and you slid in, your gaze still sharp but subdued.
Yeosang didn’t speak again as you buckled your seatbelt, his attention shifting to the road as he put the car in drive. The silence between you felt heavy, but you couldn’t bring yourself to break it. It was better this way. Better not to engage, better to keep things surface-level.
The ride was awkward. Well, for you, at least. Yeosang didn’t seem to feel it. His posture was relaxed, one hand on the wheel, the other resting lazily on the gear, like he was driving down to the beach with friends and not chauffeuring his future wife to some forced date neither of you wanted.
But you sat there, arms crossed, eyes out the window, chewing the inside of your cheek. And then it hit you. Wait. Is that Kendrick Lamar’s Reincarnated playing?
You blinked, eyes flickering toward the dashboard like you could confirm it with just a glance at the stereo. The beat was unmistakable, that heavy bass, sharp snare, and those layered vocals riding smooth over the instrumental. Of all the people to be playing Kendrick Lamar at full volume—it had to be him.
The irritation in your chest shifted slightly, replaced by something… warmer. Familiar. For a second—just a second—you forgot you were on your way to spend your Thursday afternoon with the most annoying man alive. You knew this song. Knew it.
Mentally, you started mouthing the lyrics in your head, matching every bar, every breath, every sharp flip of cadence like muscle memory. Word to word. Clean. Like second skin. It wasn’t loud in your expression, but your mind was in full concert mode, rapping like you’d been waiting for this exact song to save you from the awkwardness.
And for the first time since you sat in that car, you didn’t feel bored.
Without even realizing it, your fingers had started tapping against your thigh, following the beat with this natural kind of ease that only happens when something feels right. The awkwardness melted just slightly—not completely, but enough that you didn’t feel like throwing yourself out of the moving car anymore.
But then—
The song ended, and before you could even mourn the silence—another Kendrick song started playing. Different album. Same vibe. Same unmistakable energy. You frowned slightly, eyes flicking to the stereo now like it had betrayed you. Two Kendrick songs in a row? Coincidence?
You sat there for a second, staring ahead, lips pressing into a thin line as your brain worked overtime. Sure, it could’ve been a coincidence. Everyone liked Kendrick, right? But this felt… deliberate. Like someone had put it on a playlist. Was he doing it on purpose? Is he a fan too?
You glanced at him, cautious, like you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of catching you interested—but curiosity was starting to override irritation. He was just driving like usual, one hand lazily adjusting the volume like it was background noise to him. But something about how casual he looked felt rehearsed.
It didn’t sit right with you. Could’ve been random. Could’ve been a setup. Or… could’ve been both. But either way, you weren’t about to ask first. Nope. Not happening.
You just leaned back against the seat, eyes steady out the window, tapping your fingers again, this time not just because of the beat—but because you were thinking.
Yeosang was way too pleased with himself.
Not that he showed it outwardly—no smug grin, no teasing comments just yet—but inside? Yeah. He was damn near proud. Everything was going exactly how he wanted. Calculated. Controlled. Planned with the kind of precision that came from years of watching, learning, and frankly—being too damn good at reading people.
He knew everything he needed to know about you. Hell—he probably knew more about you than you did. He knew Thursday was your free day. Knew how you carved it out for yourself like it was holy ground. That’s exactly why he chose today to drag you out. Not because he wanted to ruin it. No—because it would be the one thing you couldn’t say no to. You’d either have to cancel your only peace of the week or face him—and he knew you’d pick facing him. Pride. Predictable.
He knew you didn’t like going out—not with family, not with friends, barely even by yourself. So, he came to you. Made it easy. Familiar car. Private. No excuses to back out last minute because “I didn’t feel like taking a cab” or “the bus was crowded”. Nah. He had you cornered, comfortably.
And the music? That wasn’t a coincidence, either. He’d seen the playlist. Hell, he’d memorized the damn playlist. Kendrick Lamar was your favorite in the rap genre, and it just so happened Kendrick was on his heavy rotation too, so it didn’t even feel forced. Just enough familiarity to make you settle in, just enough to make your fingers tap without realizing, to get you thinking maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.
He didn’t need to ask you what you liked. He knew what you liked. Yeosang’s father didn’t raise fools—and Yeosang wasn’t about to start disappointing now.
He kept his eyes on the road, face clean of expression, like he didn’t know exactly what you were thinking. Like he hadn’t already played this scene out in his head a dozen times. You were stubborn, yeah—but he was patient. And precise.
He didn’t want to break you. Nah. That was boring. He wanted to watch. Watch how long you could act like you didn’t care. Watch how long you could pretend you weren’t curious. Watch how long it took before you realized—you weren’t the only one with sharp edges.
And yeah, he liked rap too. Lucky you.
The car rolled to a smooth stop, the hum of the engine cutting off and leaving behind the faint echo of Kendrick’s verse lingering in your head. You looked around, blinking slowly. Parking lot.
What kind of parking lot? You didn’t know. Big building, a few cars around, that slightly industrial vibe, but nothing familiar. You didn’t go out enough to tell which part of town this was, and frankly—you didn’t care. You just wanted to get this over with.
With a sigh, you reached for your seatbelt, pressing the button to unclip it…Nothing.
You pressed it again, harder this time, like maybe the extra force would convince it to listen to you. Nothing moved. “Oh, come on—” you muttered under your breath, tugging at the strap now with growing frustration. Typical. Typical. Of course this was happening. On today of all days. And the last thing you wanted to do—the very last—was ask him for help. But pride had limits, and you’d already used up most of yours agreeing to this disaster of a “date.”
You glanced at him reluctantly. “It’s stuck.”
He didn’t even pretend to be surprised. Didn’t flinch, didn’t chuckle—just leaned slightly toward you, unbothered, one hand moving with irritating ease to the buckle. The button clicked effortlessly under his fingers like it had just been waiting for him to do it.
“See?” he murmured, voice low, that smug little undertone threading beneath it. “I knew you’d need me eventually.”
Your jaw clenched, and you shot him a look that could’ve killed a weaker man on the spot. “It was broken.”
“Of course it was,” he replied, tone dripping with mock sympathy, before pushing his door open and stepping out like nothing just happened.
You sat there for a second, heat prickling at the back of your neck, wishing the ground would swallow you whole—but no such luck.
Fine. Whatever. You pushed your door open too, standing straight, brushing down your clothes like you hadn’t just been humiliated by a seatbelt. You wouldn’t let him have the last word. Not yet. Not ever.
You followed him, not knowing where you were going, but very aware of two things:
1. This was going to be a long day.
2. You hated how nice his stupid cologne smelled when he walked ahead of you.
But you had no intention of making this easy for him.
So, as soon as you both started walking, you slowed your pace—not obviously, not dramatically—just… enough. Enough to make it mildly irritating. Enough to make him notice. You weren’t even really doing it on purpose; he was just tall, and apparently, tall people had no concept of walking like normal humans. His strides were three of yours combined, and you refused—refused—to jog after him like some lost puppy.
If he wanted to drag you around, he was going to work for it. But the irritating thing? He didn’t say a word. Didn’t huff, didn’t throw a glance over his shoulder, didn’t tell you to hurry up like you half expected. He just walked, silent, hands in his pockets like this was the most casual thing in the world.
Until suddenly, about ten steps ahead, he stopped. Just stood there.
You narrowed your eyes, fully prepared for some passive-aggressive remark or maybe a sarcastic clap. You were ready for it. Bring it on. But instead—he just turned around and… held out his hand. You stared at it like it was something you didn’t understand.
The hell was that supposed to mean?
Your eyes flicked up to his face, searching for the usual sharp comment or hidden smirk—but nothing. He just stood there, hand out, expression unreadable but steady. “Grab on,” he said, like it was obvious. You blinked, caught between being offended and… genuinely confused. “What?”
“You’re slow,” he said simply, like he was pointing out the weather. “So grab on.”
You stared at his hand, then back at his face. “I’m not slow. You’re just fast.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he said under his breath. “Now grab on before I make you.”
You didn’t move for a second. Pride screamed no, but practicality… well, it was tired of jogging every five steps to keep up. And something about the way he said it—firm, low, steady—not mocking, not playful, just… expecting—it made that prickling nervousness crawl up your spine again. You hated that tone.
But your hand moved anyway, slipping into his, your fingers curling awkwardly, like you didn’t know what to do with yourself. His grip was steady, firm—but not crushing. Not controlling. Just… leading.
Without another word, he started walking again, pulling you gently but efficiently alongside him, adjusting his pace—not entirely slowing down, but enough that you didn’t have to scramble. You hated how… easy it felt. Hated it more that your hand stayed there.
The deeper you both walked, the clearer it got—it wasn’t just some random building or a casual cafe. It was a restaurant. A fancy one.
Not just white tablecloth fancy, but crystal glasses, piano music playing softly in the background, waiters dressed better than your uncles at weddings kind of fancy. And honestly? It was too much.
Your dad never took you to places like this. Never. Said restaurants were a scam, said home food was better, cheaper, cleaner—but you knew better. You’d seen the unpaid bills, the receipts stuffed into drawers, the phone calls with that low, desperate tone he didn’t think you could hear. Gambling debt didn’t leave room for filet mignon or imported wine. You’d spent your life quietly excusing it, brushing it off, pretending you didn’t want this kind of thing anyway.
But standing here now, in this giant pristine place with soft golden lighting and tables spaced way too far apart, you felt like an imposter. Like you were wearing someone else’s shoes in a room you didn’t belong in. It was overwhelming. Too bright. Too clean. Too silent. Everyone here looked like they belonged. And you—you didn’t even know which fork to use first.
You hadn’t realized it at first, but your body did. Instinctively, without even thinking, you found yourself scooting closer to him. Not dramatically—not enough to look weird—but just enough that the space between you narrowed. Like proximity alone could make you smaller, safer, less obvious. The worst part?
It felt natural.
You hated that. Hated that the man you were mentally arguing with for the past hour was now also the one person here who felt vaguely familiar.
Yeosang noticed, of course he did. The tension of your shoulder brushing barely against his arm, the shift of your body tilting slightly toward his—he clocked it instantly. But he didn’t comment. Didn’t give you that teasing remark you were bracing for. Instead, his fingers adjusted slightly around yours, like he was anchoring you there. Silent. Steady. Just a solid presence beside all the marble floors and velvet chairs.
He didn’t say a word. But you felt it anyway. ‘I got you.’
Some guy—manager, waiter, whatever—showed up then, all polite smiles and expensive cologne, greeting Yeosang like they were long-lost friends or something. Said something about the table being ready, offered some words you didn’t really catch because your brain was too busy buzzing with nerves.
You weren’t listening. Didn’t want to. Everything felt too sharp around the edges. Before you could even process it properly, Yeosang had your hand again, guiding you forward with that same casual grip, not giving you the chance to hesitate. It wasn’t forceful, just… confident. Like he already knew you’d follow.
And you did.
He led you through rows of softly murmuring people until you reached a table—not entirely private, but tucked into a little alcove, partly hidden by frosted glass panels and low plants. Enough separation that you didn’t feel like fish in a tank, but not so hidden that it felt awkward. It was nice. Comfortable in a way you hadn’t expected.
Yeosang didn’t miss a beat. He stepped around you and—of course—pulled out the chair. You hesitated for half a second, eyes flickering up at him. No teasing expression. No sharp remark waiting. Just a simple gesture, like this was routine.
You sat down, the chair gliding smoothly beneath you, and he pushed it in with practiced ease. For a brief second, you hated how nice that felt. Not because of him. But because no one had done that before. Not dates, not family, not anyone.
You adjusted your sleeves awkwardly, trying not to fidget, while he walked around and took his own seat, leaning back with that effortless comfort like this was his living room and not a restaurant with menus you probably couldn’t even afford to read.
He picked up the menu with one hand, flipping through it casually like this wasn’t his first time here—which, judging by how the staff greeted him, you were sure it wasn’t. His eyes scanned the pages, sharp and focused, while the other hand rested lazily on the edge of the table. After a moment, he looked up, right at you. “What do you want?”
It shouldn’t have been a complicated question. Normal people would just… answer. Say pasta, steak, whatever. But for some reason, your throat tightened. It wasn’t nerves—not exactly. Just… indecision.
All your life, someone had chosen for you. Your mom, mostly. Always ordering for you at restaurants—never asking, just assuming. Always brushing off your opinions as “It’s not good for you,” or “You won’t like it.” Somewhere along the line, you stopped bothering to decide. It felt easier that way.
So you did the only thing that felt natural, default almost. “Whatever you’re having.” Yeosang paused.
His jaw ticked slightly, almost like he was holding back a sigh—but not in frustration. More like… patience. “That’s not how this works,” he said, voice lower, steady, like someone reasoning with a kid who was trying to eat candy for breakfast. “You don’t just copy.”
You shrugged, defensive, staring at the polished wood of the table. “I don’t know what’s good.”
“It’s not that deep,” he finished for you, lips twitching slightly—but not in mockery, just amusement. “It’s just food. Pick what you want.”
The thing was… no one had ever given you choices like that. Not explained them patiently. Not acted like your opinion actually mattered, even in something as small as dinner. It made your chest feel weirdly tight. Like you wanted to be mad, but couldn’t quite find the reason.
Yeosang didn’t press further. Just leaned back again, waving over the waiter with a lazy flick of his fingers, like this was the most normal thing in the world. But you sat there with the menu still open in your hands, staring at it…
That’s when it hit you—the slow, creeping embarrassment settling in the pit of your stomach.
You didn’t know how to read menus.
Not like literally not knowing how to read, but… you didn’t know how to understand them. Fancy restaurant menus weren’t in normal language—they were in that rich people language. Words like confit, beurre blanc, something-something reduction—you didn’t even know if you were ordering food or furniture. The more you stared at it, the worse it got. Everything blurred together until it just looked like noise on paper.
Your hand twitched slightly on the edge of the menu, the corners of it curling under your fingertips. You didn’t even know how to begin. Finally, you gave up. Quietly. Awkwardly. You placed the menu down and looked at him—really looked at him—for the first time all evening. Gone was the irritation, the stubborn defiance. Instead, it was something softer. Not defeated, but pleading.
“Can you just… choose?” you asked, voice low, almost hoping he wouldn’t make a scene about it.
For a second, he just stared at you. No teasing, no smug smile—just studying you. Calculating. Then, instead of making a big deal about it, he nodded once, sharp, like this was all perfectly normal. “Alright,” he murmured. “But you’re still gonna have choices.”
And then, like it was muscle memory, he listed things off. Simple. No complicated words, no long-winded chef specials.
“Do you want red sauce or white?”
“Chicken or beef?”
“Want dessert or not?”
Just basic questions, no extra fluff. Like someone breaking down rocket science to math tables. By the time he was done, it actually sounded like a meal, not a puzzle.
And without realizing it, you’d started folding the cloth napkin again. Neatly. Sharply. Fold, unfold, fold, unfold. It was muscle memory at this point—your fingers always needed something to do. Something to control, even when nothing else made sense.
Somewhere along the way, he’d passed you his napkin too. You didn’t even notice it. Just that at some point, your hands had another one to work with. Your mind didn’t register it; your body just accepted it, thankful for the extra fabric to keep you grounded.
It was quiet. Subtle. No words, no glances, no gestures. And while you kept folding and unfolding that napkin like your life depended on it, he just sat there across from you, arms resting lazily on the table, ordering both your meals in that steady voice like this wasn’t even a thing.
He didn’t act like he was helping. And you didn’t notice you were being helped.
While you were busy poking at the carefully cut chicken on your plate—eating but not really tasting—Yeosang sat across from you, trying not to lose his mind.
Cuteness aggression. That was the only way to describe it. Like he wanted to bite something or hit the table—not out of anger, but because you were just too much.
It wasn’t just the way you’d quietly surrendered, letting him order for you like it was nothing. It wasn’t just the way your fingers kept working that napkin like you didn’t even know you were doing it. It was the whole picture—the you of it all. Sitting there, looking like the softest thing in the sharpest world.
And that cardigan you were wearing? Please. He could tell by the stitching it was handmade. Probably by you. The unevenness of the cuffs, the slightly imperfect patterns—no brand could fake that kind of charm. You didn’t even know how much that cardigan was giving you away, how much of you was stitched into every row.
It made something in his chest tighten, like he wanted to tuck you somewhere safe. His pocket. A drawer. Somewhere you couldn’t get overwhelmed by menus and loud places and useless fathers.
But he still played it cool, leaning back a little, eyes glinting as he ran his thumb along the edge of his fork like he wasn’t thinking borderline insane things about a girl he just met. He glanced at the cardigan, then back at you, voice dropping casual but knowing.
“You make that?”
You blinked, pausing mid-bite. “What?”
“That cardigan,” he said, tone light, like they were talking about the weather. “You made it?”
You hesitated. Not because you were embarrassed—more because no one really noticed that kind of thing. Definitely not guys like him. But… you nodded. “Yeah.”
A lazy grin, sharp but not mocking, pulled at the corner of his mouth. “Figured. Looks like you.”
That sentence alone made your stomach flip in ways you didn’t have the energy to process. You didn’t even know what that meant. Looked like you? Quiet? Crocheted? Awkwardly stitched together? You didn’t ask. You just looked back down at your plate, busying yourself with another bite, folding that second napkin again like it was holding the fabric of your nerves together.
Meanwhile, Yeosang sat there, feeling way too satisfied with himself. You were dangerously cute. And he was dangerously aware of it.
He dropped you off, making sure you got to your front door before pulling away. You didn’t say much—a quiet “thanks,” barely audible—but you didn’t run away either. Progress.
But by the time he pulled into his father’s estate, parked the car, and stepped into the over-polished marble entrance, he was losing it. Hand over his mouth. Jaw tight. Muscles flexing like he was holding in a scream or something equally embarrassing. What the hell was that?
That wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to be annoying. Spoiled. Bratty. Some daddy’s princess with acrylic nails and too much perfume. You were supposed to be the type he could dump in a nice apartment and visit once a month with gifts so you’d stay quiet about the whole arrangement.
But you weren’t. You were a mess. An organized, pretty, cardigan-wearing mess.
And worse, you didn’t even know you were cute. You weren’t even trying. You just sat there in that chair at that fancy-ass restaurant, folding napkins like they were some secret escape plan, wearing that handmade sweater like it wasn’t making him feel like an insane person.
And now? Forget that whole buying-another-place plan. That idea was dead the moment he saw how small you looked sitting across from him. No way. You were staying where he could see you. Reach you. Annoy you on purpose if he felt like it. Which he did.
He stood in the foyer of his father’s mansion, hand dragging down his face, pacing a little in his boots.
God. He felt like squealing. Like actually kicking something, or punching the air, or rolling on the expensive carpet like a twelve-year-old with a crush.
“This is insane,” he muttered to himself, like saying it out loud would make it make sense. It didn’t.
You were in his head. Neatly folded like that stupid napkin you kept twisting around your fingers. And for the first time in a long time, Kang Yeosang didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh, scream, or marry you right now.
The moment Yeosang stepped further into the house, hand dragging down his face, muttering like a lunatic, he heard it—the unmistakable voice of his old man echoing from the sitting room. “Why the hell do you look like a teenage girl who just got her first crush?”
Yeosang didn’t even flinch. Didn’t even stop pacing. Just waved his hand dismissively, as if to say don’t start. His father stood there in his usual crisp shirt, whiskey glass in hand like always, giving him that unimpressed look fathers reserve for sons who don’t follow in their exact footsteps.
“I’m serious,” his father huffed, stepping forward. “What the hell’s wrong with you? Why are you here anyway? Thought you liked hiding in that overpriced shoebox you call an apartment.”
Yeosang finally dropped his hand from his face, side-eyeing him, unimpressed. “Renovation,” he grumbled. “It’s getting fixed up. You want me to sleep on the street?” His father scoffed, taking a sip of his drink, shaking his head. “You could’ve stayed at one of the hotels we own.”
“Right. And let everyone think I’m homeless now. Good look for a mafia heir.” The older man narrowed his eyes, recognizing that tone. That annoying tone Yeosang always used when he was about to get smart-mouthed. “So why are you pacing around here like some lovesick idiot?”
Yeosang clicked his tongue, glaring at the floor like it personally offended him. “It’s your fault.”
“My fault?”
“You’re the one that set me up with her.”
His father’s brow lifted. “Did she bite?”
“She didn’t even blink.”
That made his father laugh. Really laugh. Like belly laugh, hand pressed to his chest, deep and loud in that expensive, echoey house.
“God,” Yeosang muttered under his breath. “You’re actually enjoying this.”
“Of course I am,” his father smirked. “Finally met someone who doesn’t fall apart under your pretty-boy nonsense. Good. You needed that.”
Yeosang rolled his jaw, annoyed beyond belief, but honestly? His dad wasn’t wrong. His father waved his glass toward him. “What’s the problem, then? I thought you were going to dump her in a penthouse and get on with life.”
“Yeah, that plan’s dead.”
“Why?”
Yeosang just stood there, defeated. “She’s too—”
“What? Petty? Weird? Mean?”
“…Soft.”
His father blinked, confused. “Soft?”
Yeosang didn’t elaborate. Didn’t have to. Soft in a way that made him want to ruin someone’s life if they made you cry. Soft in a way that made him want to drag you closer by the wrist when you got overwhelmed. Soft in a way that pissed him off because he liked it too much. His father just shook his head, amused, like he knew exactly what kind of hell Yeosang was walking into. “Good luck with that, Romeo.”
“Shut up.”
You did not expect this. A casual text? Fine. Him calling you just to “check in”? Annoying, but tolerable. Even him dragging you out on those stupid dates now and then—you could live with that. But this? Showing up to your university?
What the actual hell was wrong with him?
It wasn’t even subtle. Of course it wasn’t subtle. Not with that stupid black car of his parked right at the entrance, shining like a beacon of unwanted attention. Not with him leaning against the door like he was shooting a damn commercial, sleeves rolled up, sunglasses pushed into his hair, looking like every other man’s nightmare and every other woman’s distraction.
And people noticed. Oh, they noticed. Girls whispering, eyes widening, phones coming out to take sneaky pictures. A group of guys near the library basically breaking their necks trying to get a better look. And you?
You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. He had the audacity to wave at you. Like this was normal. Like this wasn’t blowing up the very careful life of low attention, quiet exits, don’t talk to me I’m just here to graduate you had built for yourself.
You speed-walked. Not even pretending anymore. Walked up to him so fast it looked like you were about to commit a crime. “What the hell are you doing?” you hissed under your breath, shoving at his shoulder, eyes darting around like you were being followed by paparazzi.
“Picking you up,” he said, casual as you liked, like this wasn’t the most embarrassing moment of your life unfolding in real time.
“Get in the car,” you snapped. “Now.”
And, the bastard, he laughed. Laughed like this was a game.
Still, he obeyed, sliding into the driver’s seat like he was doing you a favor. You yanked the passenger door open, practically diving inside, head ducked like you were avoiding a sniper.
The moment the door shut you rounded on him. “Are you insane?”
“I missed you,” he said, like that explained anything.
“You could’ve— texted me or something! I don’t need the whole uni thinking I’m with someone rich”
“You are with someone rich,” he corrected, one hand casually gripping the wheel, the other resting over the gear like this was a Sunday drive.
The car came to a stop in front of this sleek-looking storefront, all black glass and warm lighting, like one of those places you only see rich people walk into on TV shows. And because your life apparently wasn’t embarrassing enough, Yeosang parked like he owned the building.
You looked at the place, then at him. “What is this?”
“Jewelry,” he answered flatly, already stepping out of the car. Jewelry. Jewelry. As if that explained anything.
Before you could argue or even think, he came around, opened your door, and like a villain from a drama, dragged you inside by the wrist—not harsh, but determined. The cold from the street clung to your clothes, your boots crunching against the salted sidewalk, but the moment you stepped inside—it was warm. Not just warm, but that kind of luxury warm, where the air smells faintly of expensive perfume and everything feels soft, even though nothing should be.
And you? You immediately felt your whole body loosen, just a little. It wasn’t even intentional. The cold had been biting, sharp against your ears and the tip of your nose, and this? This was dangerous. Comforting. You could rot here, honestly. Just melt into one of the velvet chairs and stop existing.
Yeosang noticed.
Of course he noticed. He didn’t miss anything about you. The way your shoulders relaxed. The way you almost—almost—let your head drop forward like you could fall asleep standing there.
He wanted to bite you. No, seriously. Bite. His jaw clenched just thinking about it. You looked too cute. With your knitted cardigan, snow-dusted boots, fidgety fingers already tugging at the sleeves. It was criminal. Illegal. Someone should lock you up for being this dangerous in public.
But he was strong. Barely. Barely holding himself back from grabbing you by the face and just—squishing. Maybe even kissing that stupid annoyed expression off of you. Would’ve been worth it. You were too busy shaking the snow from your sleeves to notice him battling for his sanity two feet away.
An employee walked over, all smiles and professional greetings, asking what you both needed today. You blinked at her like a deer caught in headlights.
Yeosang spoke first. “Rings.”
You snapped your head to him. “What?”
“For the engagement,” he said calmly, like duh, obviously. Your mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. “You dragged me here for that? You could’ve warned me—”
“And ruin the surprise of watching you panic in real-time? No thanks.” You glared daggers into his skull, wishing you could teleport out of your own skin. “You’re evil.”
“Mm,” he hummed, eyes lazily drifting over the display cases. “Yours?”
You blinked. “What?”
“Ring size.”
“I—I don’t know!”
His lips quirked—not a smirk, you banned those, but just that annoying, knowing twitch that told you he was enjoying this too much. “Figures. Guess we’ll find out together.” You honestly might combust right there on the jewelry shop floor.
Yeosang walked toward the counter with the same energy as someone about to close a business deal. Calm. Focused. Casual power.
You stayed frozen for a beat, still stunned at the whole situation, until your feet moved on their own. Before you realized it, you were right beside him, eyes locking onto the display.
And that’s when it hit you. The rings. They were gorgeous. Not just shiny-for-the-sake-of-shiny—but delicate, beautiful. Rings with elegant stones, simple but detailed bands, not the overdone flashy stuff but the kind that made you think: if I wore that, maybe I wouldn’t feel so small.
You leaned in without realizing, gaze scanning over each one like a kid at a candy store—but also a little sad. You never let yourself want things like that. What was the point? Your parents could never buy you things like this. You grew up being handed the practical, the necessary. Wanting was a waste of time.
But Yeosang saw it. All of it.
The way your fingers twitched at your sides like you wanted to reach out but didn’t. The slight glassiness in your stare—not tears, but that lost look people got when they wanted something badly but were too used to swallowing it down.
To him? Your eyes were sparkling. Bright, full of that light people only showed when they forgot to hide. He couldn’t stop looking at you. The whole room could’ve caught fire, and he wouldn’t have noticed.
He leaned closer, voice lower. “See something you like?”
You snapped out of it, blinking up at him like you’d just been caught stealing. “I—I was just looking,” you muttered, instantly defensive, shoving your hands into the sleeves of your cardigan. “Didn’t say I wanted anything.”
But Yeosang wasn’t even listening to the words coming out of your mouth. He was too busy cataloguing everything you didn’t say. The spark. The hesitation. The soft way your lip pressed against your teeth when you held back from speaking. You weren’t loud, weren’t clingy, weren’t bratty like he thought you might be—you were quiet. Observant. Someone who shrank herself just to survive.
Yeah, no. You weren’t leaving his sight ever again. “Good,” he said, nonchalantly signaling to the employee. “Because we’re not leaving until you try some on.” You shot him a glare. “What is this, Pretty Woman?” “More like Pretty Annoyed Fiancée.” His eyes flicked down to you, sharp and amused. “C’mon. Humor me.”
You stared at the rows and rows of rings like they were mocking you. Every shape, every color, every shine — how the hell were you supposed to pick one? Your fingers hovered over the glass, not touching, just hovering, like maybe the right one would start glowing or something. But nothing did.
It wasn’t that you didn’t like them. It was that you liked all of them, and also none of them, because your brain kept whispering, what if you pick the wrong one? What if you regret it? You didn’t get choices growing up, not real ones. Every decision was always someone else’s to make for you — your clothes, your food, even your damn hair. The few times you got to choose something, it was met with criticism or disappointment. No wonder your chest felt tight standing here.
“I can’t,” you muttered under your breath, frustrated. “They all look… I don’t know.” Yeosang watched, hands tucked in his pockets, silent. But not with judgment. More like studying. He could see it happening—the way you kept retreating into yourself, that familiar shrinking posture like you were bracing for someone to yell at you for being annoying or difficult.
He didn’t like that. Not one bit.
Without warning, he stepped closer, leaning down near your ear, voice lower, firmer. “We’re not doing that here.” You blinked up at him. “What—” “We’re not doing that thing where you act like you’re a burden for existing,” he continued, tone steady but not harsh. “You like something, you say it. You don’t like something, you say it. You don’t have to know what you want right now, but don’t stand here apologizing for breathing.”
Your throat went dry. No one’s ever talked to you like that before. Not mean. Not fake sweet. Just… steady. Like he meant it. Like he wasn’t going to move until you heard him. “I’m not apologizing,” you finally muttered, defensive. He raised an eyebrow. “You’re folding into yourself like someone’s about to slap your wrist.”
Your jaw tightened. “That’s just how I stand.”
“Mhm,” he hummed, not convinced for a second.
You wanted to shove him. You also wanted to crawl under the display case and disappear. But somewhere deep down, embarrassingly deep, you also wanted to grab his sleeve and lean into him like a tired stray cat. But instead, you just shoved your sleeves up higher and looked at the rings again. “Fine. I’ll try some.”
“That’s my girl,” he murmured, barely loud enough to catch, but you caught it. And you hated that you liked how it sounded.
You picked up one of the rings, delicate and shimmering with tiny embedded stones. It wasn’t flashy in the way rich people wear things—it was pretty. Simple. Something you could see yourself wearing every day.
But then it hit you like a slap. The price. What the hell were you doing? Just choosing whatever looked nice like you weren’t broke half your life? Like your mom didn’t yell at you for picking snacks that were ₹20 more expensive than the local brand?
You started searching the display, eyes darting, looking for price tags like a madwoman. But it was one of those places. No prices on anything. Which only meant one thing—if you have to ask, you can’t afford it.
Panic started tightening in your chest. You weren’t stupid. You knew this whole setup was expensive. Expensive coat racks, expensive chairs, expensive air. And here you were like some idiot playing dress-up, picking rings you couldn’t afford in three lifetimes. “Uh… what’s the price on these?” you asked quietly, almost hoping he didn’t hear you.
But of course he did.
Yeosang, standing beside you with his annoying posture of “I own everything I touch,” just glanced down at you, one brow raised. “Why?” You gave him a look. “What do you mean why? They’re probably… crazy expensive. I don’t wanna-” “You think I brought you here to worry about prices?” he interrupted, eyes sharp now.
You blinked. “Well, yeah? This isn’t a grocery store, I can’t just-” “Do I look like the kind of man who’s going to let you think about numbers right now?” His tone wasn’t harsh. But it wasn’t soft, either. It was just… Yeosang. Calm, slightly amused, slightly annoyed, fully in charge.
You hated how warm your ears felt.
“I don’t—”
“I said pick.”
His voice was low this time. Not rude. Not cold. Just that tone that slides down your spine and makes your stomach clench in the weirdest way. Firm. Dominant, even. But not because he was trying to be macho—it was just who he was. You stood there frozen for a second before whispering, “They don’t even have prices on them—”
“They don’t have prices,” he cut you off, leaning closer so only you could hear, “because the people who shop here don’t need to ask.”
You swore your knees nearly gave out.
“And right now,” he added, hand lightly brushing your lower back as if guiding you forward, “you’re with me. So that makes you one of those people. Pick.” You swallowed hard, looked down at the rings, then up at him.
His gaze didn’t waver. “Or,” he added, eyes glinting, “do you want me to choose for you again?”
God help you—you almost said yes.
The wedding was hectic.
Not in the “fun chaos” way you saw in movies—no, this was suffocating. Your cheeks hurt from fake smiling at people you didn’t even know. The scent of flowers was so strong it made you lightheaded. The jewelry was heavy, and the outfit? Beautiful, yeah, but you could barely breathe.
After the ceremony, when the music was loud and people were starting to eat, you sat in a corner. Just existing. You were chewing blandly on some sweet, not even tasting it. The small cushion under you was probably worth someone’s rent, but you sat like you were at some boring family reunion.
Yeosang did ask you last month if you wanted to invite your friends. You had been fixing your cardigan sleeve at the time and barely looked up. “Don’t really… have any.”
It wasn’t sad when you said it. Just a fact. You said it the way someone says, “Yeah, I don’t like tea,” or “I’ve never been to Goa.” Just plain. But you felt it sting more now, seeing his friends—8 of them—laughing on the other side of the venue like this was just some party.
Meanwhile, you sat with your cousin. The only one in your family who didn’t belittle you constantly or make subtle comments about you being “too old to be unmarried” or “too quiet for your own good.” He didn’t say much either. Probably didn’t even care. But you preferred that. Quiet company was better than company with sharp tongues.
Your eyes wandered across the room. Yeosang was standing with his friends, of course. One of them threw his arm around Yeosang’s shoulder, laughing about something. And then Yeosang glanced at you. It was brief—but he looked. And when his gaze met yours, it wasn’t pity, or amusement, or even awkwardness.
It was… knowing.
Like he knew you didn’t want to be there. Like he understood exactly what it felt like to be surrounded by noise and not feel like you belonged in it. And for a moment—just a second—you didn’t feel alone in that room. Of course, the moment passed when your cousin nudged you and asked if you were going to eat your chicken.
You gave it to him without a word, gaze still lingering on the man across the room who, apparently, now belonged to you.
The ride home was torture. Your jewelry felt like chains, the embroidery on your dress scratched at your skin with every small shift, and your hair—oh god, your scalp was screaming. You sat awkwardly, pressed up against the door, knees at an angle because the fabric wouldn’t let you sit properly.
And Yeosang? He just drove like it was a normal day. Relaxed hand on the steering wheel, other resting against his thigh, occasionally glancing your way. He didn’t say anything, but you knew he noticed you shifting every two minutes like you were sitting on needles.
By the time the car pulled up at the apartment complex, you were two seconds away from just tearing the sleeves off like some dramatic soap opera character.
It was late—too late for nosy neighbors or anyone else to be hanging around. The whole building was quiet except for the low hum of the elevators. You followed him silently, heels clicking softly against the polished floor. And when the elevator doors opened to his place—
Yeah. Pinterest board aesthetic.
It wasn’t over-the-top, but it was intentional. Clean lines, warm lighting—not those harsh white bulbs like your home had. The couch looked like it cost someone’s college tuition, blankets folded neatly on the armrest like it was straight out of a home decor photoshoot. Shelves with actual books. Art that wasn’t mass-produced prints. Little ceramic things on the side tables that you didn’t know the use of but looked expensive anyway.
It didn’t smell like dust or old carpet or fried onions like your house did after your mom cooked. It smelled like sandalwood and something slightly musky. Like him.
You just stood there by the entrance like a misplaced sticker on a clean page. He casually dropped his keys in a tray by the door and started undoing the buttons on his sleeves, rolling them up forearms first. “You wanna change?”
Did you wanna change? You were two seconds away from climbing out of your own skin. You nodded silently.
Without a word, he pointed to a hallway. “Third door. Closet’s in there. Pick whatever. Bathroom’s attached.” As if it was nothing to offer someone full access to his wardrobe. As if he hadn’t just brought his brand new wife into his home like someone bringing home takeout. You shuffled off like some fancy-dressed raccoon, already planning which oversized shirt you were gonna steal first.
You padded out of the bathroom, freshly freed from that suffocating dress, now wearing a soft oversized t-shirt that smelled like detergent and someone else’s cologne, paired with pajama pants that pooled a bit at your ankles. Your hair was a mess, makeup slightly smudged from your tired hands rubbing your face. But you couldn’t care less. Comfort first.
Yeosang was already lounging on the couch, changed into a black t-shirt that hugged his shoulders just right and grey sweatpants, one ankle lazily crossed over the other. Casual. Comfortable. Infuriatingly attractive. You stood there, awkward, arms crossed, twisting your fingers like you always did. “Where… where am I supposed to sleep?”
He didn’t even hesitate. Just pointed with two fingers toward the hallway. “Second room on the right.” You nodded and started walking, but something tugged at you. A gut feeling. Something wasn’t right. Second room…
Curiosity dragged you to peek, and when you opened the door, your stomach dropped. Black sheets. Black pillows. Black walls. Not pitch dark, but matte—sleek. Expensive. His room. You didn’t need to ask. That man screamed black-on-black energy. You stormed back into the living room, eyes narrowed. “That’s your room.”
He looked up from his phone slowly, mouth twitching—not into a smirk, just that faint amusement he always wore when he knew he was pushing your buttons. “Yeah. I know.” You stared at him, blinking. “Why did you point me there?” He set his phone down like this was about to be a full conversation. “We’re married now. Married people share a bed.”
You gawked at him. “That’s not a rule.”
“It is now.”
God, you hated that. That casual dominance. Not loud, not aggressive. Just matter of fact. Like he said it, so it’s law now.
“You’re annoying.”
“You married me.”
“We were arranged.”
“Same thing.”
You rolled your eyes so hard they almost got stuck, turning on your heel to storm back to the room. And yet… you didn’t really argue more, did you? Because deep down, under the irritation, you couldn’t help but feel that same stupid warmth creeping up your neck.
If he wanted to be cocky, fine. Two can play that game.
You marched back to his room like you owned the place, plopped yourself dead in the center of the king-sized bed, limbs spread like a starfish, sinking into the expensive sheets like you were born for this. If he wanted drama, you were going to give him cinema. Moments later, the door creaked open, and you heard his footsteps approaching. You didn’t look. You just knew from the way the air shifted, from the scent of his cologne mixing with the faint smell of fabric softener on the bedding.
Silence for a second. Then—“Really?”
You cracked an eye open. He was standing at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised, the faintest curve on his lips—not quite a smile, not quite mockery. “You’re gonna starfish in my bed?”
You yawned, stretching even further like a cat on a sunny windowsill. “You said it was our bed,” you said pointedly, throwing his own words back at him with venom-laced sweetness. “I’m just following instructions.”
He looked at you for a beat longer. Then, very slowly, very annoyingly, grinned. “Fine,” he said, voice deep and lazy. “But if you stay like that, I’ll just sleep on top of you.” Your eyes snapped open fully, heart jolting so fast it almost echoed in your ears. “You wouldn’t.”
“Oh, I would.”
It wasn’t even a threat—it was a promise. That calm tone, that glint in his eyes—he meant it.
You groaned and scrambled to your side of the bed, flustered beyond measure, hating him more with every second and somehow hating yourself for feeling heat crawling up your neck. “You’re insane,” you muttered, adjusting the pillow aggressively.
Behind you, you could practically hear his satisfied smirk, even though you weren’t going to turn around to give him the satisfaction of seeing your face.
“Married life, sweetheart,” he murmured, climbing in on his side, making the mattress dip. “Welcome to it.”
You didn’t know what devil possessed you to say it, but the words just slipped out, dripping with faux innocence as you looked straight at him.
“I have weird sleeping habits,” you murmured casually, adjusting the blanket like it was the most normal conversation. “Like… I’ll keep rubbing my leg on yours until you put your leg on top of mine.”
Silence.
You didn’t dare look at him yet, but you could feel the way his posture stiffened beside you, like your words short-circuited something in that annoyingly sharp brain of his. Then—softly, almost too casual—came his voice, deep and quiet, “Is that a threat or a promise?”
You slowly turned your head to him, blinking, pretending to be confused. “What do you mean?” His jaw tensed slightly, like he was holding back a laugh—or something else. “I mean—” he leaned in just a bit, enough for his voice to drop that octave lower that made your stupid heart stutter, “—if you keep talking like that, I’m gonna start wondering if you want me to put my leg over yours.”
You hated that heat crawling up your skin, hated that he was good at this stupid game, hated that he was better at it than you, hated that you wanted to keep going anyway.
So you did.
“Why would I want that?” you shot back, voice steady, gaze sharp but your hands fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. “It’s just a habit.”
“Right,” he said, laying his head on the pillow now, one arm tucked behind his head, looking absolutely unbothered. “Just a habit.”
You laid down too, facing the other way, stubborn. The tension between you two was thick, and you both knew it. Then, after a beat, you felt it—the slow weight of his leg draping lazily over yours. “I’m just helping with your habit,” he murmured, so close you felt the warmth of his breath by your ear.
“I’m serious,” you said, voice flat, not backing down. “It’s true. I can’t sleep unless someone’s leg is over mine. And I always hug something too. It’s like—comfort or whatever. Dunno. Been like that since forever.”
Honestly, you thought that would be the final straw. That he’d roll his eyes, scoff, maybe throw a pillow at you and head to the couch like any sane person would. Maybe you were hoping for that. Maybe you didn’t want to admit how weirdly safe this felt. Either way, you braced yourself for irritation, for that cocky remark, for something.
But nothing came.
Instead—you missed it—the way Yeosang stared at you like he was physically restraining himself. Like some internal monologue was yelling don’t say it, don’t call her cute, don’t ruin it, don’t scare her off. But how could he not? You? Looking like that? Saying stuff like that? In his bed? Wrapped in his blanket, in his shirt? Talking about hugging things like you weren’t already curled up like a goddamn kitten?
He was having a crisis.
“Okay,” he finally said, calm. Too calm. Suspiciously calm. You frowned, glancing back at him. “Okay?” “Yeah.” He adjusted slightly, the mattress dipping with his weight. “Leg’s already over yours. Go ahead. Hug something.”
You glared at him. “I don’t have anything to hug.” His lips quirked slightly at that. Barely. But you caught it.
“You’ve got two arms, don’t you?” You wanted to slap him. Genuinely. But also—not really.
Fine. FINE.
You stubbornly grabbed the pillow, hugging it tight to your chest and trying to sleep. Silent. Annoyed. Flustered. All of it. And Yeosang? He laid there, eyes on the ceiling, teeth sinking into his lip just to physically restrain himself from smiling like an idiot. If only you knew how close he was to dragging you into his chest just to see how flustered you’d get then.
Cute. Way too cute. He was so screwed.
You were out. Completely gone, knocked out like you hadn’t had proper sleep in weeks. Leg tucked neatly under his like you said you would, hugging his pillow like your life depended on it, your face mushed against the fabric, lips slightly parted in a soft pout you didn’t even know you had.
Yeosang was having a spiritual crisis. What was this? What was this feeling? Cuteness aggression? Probably. He felt like he could actually bite you. Not to hurt you—god no—but just to—argh—because how could one human look that cute doing absolutely nothing?
His jaw flexed, teeth grinding softly as he stared at you, eyes darting between the way your fingers curled into the pillow, to the little crease forming on your cheek from the way you were pressed against it.
It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t be allowed. He felt like punching the wall just to let some of the weird, frustrated fondness out of his system. The urge to squeeze you like some plush toy was nearly overwhelming.
And the worst part?
You didn’t even know.
Didn’t know the way you’d completely tangled yourself around his leg without a second thought. Didn’t know how absolutely tiny you looked curled up in his bed. Didn’t know how soft your breathing sounded in the dim light filtering through the curtains.
Yeosang stared at the ceiling for a good minute, breathing slow, eyes closed, fighting the very cellular urge in his bones to scoop you up and just—keep you. Like, forever. Pocket you. Protect you. Instead, he carefully shifted, tucking the blanket around you a little tighter, letting your leg stay right where it was. He glanced at you one last time before shutting his own eyes.
Completely, utterly ruined by the universe. Absolutely smitten. And you? You just drooled a little on his pillow.
Perfect.
Morning light spilled through the sheer curtains, soft and annoyingly gentle. Your eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the brightness—and then it hit you.
You were holding something warm. Something that breathed. It wasn’t a pillow. It was him.
Your heart stopped for a solid second. Somewhere between falling asleep and now, the pillow had betrayed you—replaced by Yeosang. Your arm was across his torso, fingers curled loosely into the fabric of his shirt. Worse, one of your legs had completely decided that boundaries were optional and had hooked over his, practically hugging him like some oversized teddy bear.
What the actual—
You moved so carefully, like one wrong twitch would make the earth explode. Slowly untangling yourself, your breath hitched when you saw his hand resting lazily over your arm, like he’d pulled you closer in his sleep. That just made it worse.
Finally, finally, you untangled yourself, slipping out of bed like a secret agent on a stealth mission. The floor was cold beneath your feet, but your entire body was flushed with embarrassment anyway. Without sparing him another glance, you practically ran into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you with a soft click.
The second you were alone, you let out a silent scream, face buried in your hands. God. Why. Why you. You turned the shower on, letting the sound of running water drown out your embarrassment. Maybe you could drown in it too while you were at it.
Meanwhile, back in the bedroom, Yeosang cracked one eye open, staring at the ceiling with the smallest ghost of a grin.
“Thought so,” he whispered to himself. That damn pillow never stood a chance.
Yeosang lay there, staring at the ceiling like it had all the answers to life’s greatest mysteries. His hand absentmindedly touched the part of his shirt where your hand had been curled into just moments ago. The warmth was gone, but the imprint of it — of you — stuck like some permanent tattoo on his chest.
What the hell was this feeling? No, seriously, what was this feeling?
He had always thought love was supposed to be a slow thing. Like aging whiskey. Like taking your sweet time to ruin someone in a chess game. But this? This felt like a truck hit him. A small, anxious kitten-shaped truck with pouty lips and messy hair in the morning.
It was stupid. He knew it was stupid. You were barely in his life for what? Few months? And yet here he was, already thinking like some washed-up romantic lead in a drama. It wasn’t even funny anymore.
He dragged a hand across his face and groaned softly, staring at the bathroom door where steam was now rolling from the gap under the frame. The thought of you in there — wearing that sleepy pout, probably muttering under your breath about your parents or about how annoying he was — it made his chest feel tight in the weirdest, most annoying way.
Was this how his dad felt about his mom? Cause that man always did dumb shit just to annoy her, but never went a day without holding her hand.
He was whipped. Fully, entirely, embarrassingly whipped. And he wasn’t even fighting it anymore. Hell, he was enjoying it. “I swear to god,” he muttered to himself, eyes shutting like he was trying to meditate through the emotional breakdown, “if she ever figures this out, I’m finished.” But knowing you? You wouldn’t. You were too busy folding napkins, avoiding eye contact, acting like you weren’t the most precious thing to ever annoy the hell out of him.
And god—he liked having a wife. A wife.
He let that word roll around in his head like a marble, both terrifying and oddly satisfying. If you stayed in that shower any longer, he might just combust. And honestly? He’d die smiling.
You came out of the bathroom with damp hair sticking slightly to the sides of your face, the oversized t-shirt hanging loose on your frame, sleeves falling a little off your shoulders, pajama pants riding up slightly at the ankles. You rubbed your hand against your face, trying to wipe off the last remnants of sleep, but honestly, your head was still foggy. You weren’t even fully functioning yet.
And there he was. Still in bed.
Liar. You could tell he wasn’t sleeping anymore. Before, he was on his back, legs spread out like some rich brat on vacation. Now? He was on his side, perfectly composed like he was acting asleep. And he was good at it. But not good enough for you.
With irritation bubbling up — mostly because you were up, and why should you be the only one awake suffering in awkward new-wife-land — you stomped over to the bed and stood over him with crossed arms. You stared at the messy strands of hair falling into his stupidly handsome face. His lashes were thick, unfairly so. And his lips slightly parted like he wasn’t living rent-free in your nerves already. He looked expensive even while pretending to be unconscious. Ugh.
Annoyed, you bent down and gave his shoulder a shove. “Wake up.”
No response. Another shove. Harder this time. “Wake up.” Finally, his eyes opened. Lazy, slow, like he was waking up from a peaceful dream of girls feeding him grapes or something. His voice was rough from sleep, deep in that way that made your brain short circuit for a second. “What?” he rasped, like you were disturbing his peace.
Your mouth opened, about to say something snarky, but then you paused. Why was he hot like this? Who gave him permission to be hot right after waking up? Hair a mess, voice low, sleep still hanging off his features like a silk sheet draped across expensive furniture. You forgot what you were gonna say for a second. Caught yourself blinking at him like an idiot.
He noticed. Of course he noticed. A smug little grin spread on his lips, lazy and cocky at the same time, like he was the main character in every stupid romance movie. You cleared your throat and stood up straight again, brushing invisible dust off your pants. “What… what do you want for breakfast?”
You hated how quiet you sounded. Like you were suddenly soft just because he was attractive. Which — you were soft, but he didn’t have to know that. He sat up properly now, running a hand through his hair like he was in a commercial. “You’re making breakfast?” he asked, raising a brow.
You shrugged. “What else am I supposed to do? I’m awake.” He leaned back on his arms, eyes not leaving you for a second. “I didn’t marry a housewife, you know.” Your jaw clenched. “I’m not—” you stopped yourself. “I’m just making breakfast because I’m hungry.”
“Yours?” he said suddenly, tilting his head.
You blinked. “What?”
“Breakfast. Yours or mine?”
You frowned. “...What’s the difference?”
He grinned, teeth showing this time. “Yours is probably, like, toast or boiled eggs or something. Mine’s pancakes, bacon, syrup. Fancy shit.”
You deadpanned. “Who the hell eats pancakes on a weekday?”
“I do,” he answered smoothly, without missing a beat. “I’m rich, remember?”
You rolled your eyes so hard you almost saw your own brain. “Fine. Yours. Whatever. Pancakes.”
Yeosang stepped into the bathroom, the door creaking softly behind him as he entered the faint warmth she left behind. The mirror was still fogged at the corners, drops of condensation trailing down lazily like the room itself hadn’t quite woken up yet. The air smelled faintly of her—something floral, something sweet, and something unfamiliar but weirdly comforting.
He exhaled through his nose, steady and controlled, walking up to the sink. His eyes automatically landed on the toothbrush holder. His black toothbrush standing tall, firm, exactly where he always kept it.
And beside it… her pink one.
Smaller, softer looking, like it didn’t belong. But it did. It really did. He stared at them both for a second, lips slightly parted, eyebrows drawn faintly together—not confused, but thoughtful. Something about seeing them together in the same cup twisted something warm in his chest. It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t fireworks or explosions or heartbeats racing so fast he couldn’t breathe. It was… steady. Fulfilling. Quiet in the most dangerous way.
He loved it.
Not the pink color or the softness of it. He loved what it meant. Her using his things like they were hers now. The shared space. The toothbrushes leaning like companions. It was stupid—something small, something everyday—but it was theirs. And for someone like him, someone who always knew how to calculate every move, who always knew how to observe and stay steps ahead, this feeling was something he couldn’t predict.
He picked up his own toothbrush, fingers brushing against the handle of hers. He stared at that pink brush for a second longer, a lazy grin curling on his lips before shaking his head at himself. Who the hell gets soft over a toothbrush?
Apparently, him.
He started brushing his teeth, leaning over the sink, letting the familiar minty sting wake him up properly. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought—he could get used to this. He wanted to get used to this. Her hair clogging the drain, her random skincare bottles invading his shelves, her leaving the bathroom all steamy and warm like this every morning.
It was stupid. Domestic. And yet… it felt like power in the quietest, most dangerous form. And Yeosang was nothing if not addicted to power. Especially if it looked like her.
He came down wearing a black fitted turtleneck, sleeves pushed up to his forearms, paired with tailored dark slacks that hugged his waist just right. His silver watch gleamed faintly against his wrist, hair slightly messy from towel-drying but falling just perfectly like it was meant to. He didn’t put in effort—but somehow looked like he walked straight out of a photoshoot. Sharp jawline, long legs, expensive cologne that smelled like trouble and money.
And then—that smell hit him.
Pancakes. Sweet, buttery, thick in the air like a hug you didn’t know you needed. Warm vanilla mixed with something fruity. And then, there she was. (Do pancakes even have scents? Idk)
Hair tied up lazily, a few strands falling loose, wearing one of his black aprons that looked like it was made to fit her. Bare feet padding softly on the kitchen floor, navigating his sleek, modern, borderline cold kitchen like she’d been living there her whole life. She didn’t hesitate with the drawers, the utensils, even reaching up to grab plates from his overhead cabinets with a little difficulty like she knew where everything was. Like she belonged.
He leaned against the wall for a second, arms folded, watching her. His kitchen was matte black, sharp edges, minimalist design, way too clean for someone who actually lived here. It was the kind of kitchen that screamed money but not home. Until now.
Until her.
Now it felt warm, felt used. And for some reason, that domestic image made something stir in his chest. Not in a soft, sentimental way—no, Yeosang didn’t do sentimental. It was more like—possession. Admiration. Like—yeah, that’s mine. His quiet, irritating, soft-voiced girl, right there, using his kitchen like she owned it. And she didn’t even realize how good she looked like that. The apron tied at her waist, sleeves rolled up as she worked carefully over the stove, flipping pancakes with precision.
How the fuck did she even know where everything was? He barely cooked. Eating out was his thing. Restaurants. Friends. Loud tables. Fancy places. But this? This made him crave home-cooked meals in a way he didn’t know he could. Made him crave coming home to something like this. And the worst part? He didn’t know whether he wanted the pancakes more or her. Probably her.
Definitely her.
He didn’t even realize she’d caught him staring. Sharp reflexes, top of his class, trained to pick up on the tiniest shit—and yet here he was, caught like some lovesick loser at the doorway of his own damn kitchen. She didn’t make a big deal out of it though. Just glanced over her shoulder, flipping another pancake like it was routine. “Oh, you’re here. Sit down or something.”
He blinked for a second, caught between embarrassment and awe, and then muttered under his breath, “Yes, ma’am.” Low enough that she wouldn’t catch it. Good. His pride was intact. Barely.
When she finished, she casually served two plates—one in front of him, one in front of her. No big presentation, no waiting for him to start first like those rich girls he was used to. Just sat down, scooted her chair in, and started eating like it was another regular morning. Like they’d been doing this for years. God, why did that feel nice?
The pancakes were good. Like, scary good. Slightly crisp on the edges, soft in the middle, syrup on the side, not drowned in it like an amateur. She knew what she was doing. Each bite made him feel weirdly cared for, and he didn’t like that one bit. It felt… vulnerable. Exposed. He wasn’t used to this shit. Halfway through, she lifted her gaze to him. Not fully—just under her lashes, barely holding eye contact before glancing away again.
“I’ve been meaning to ask…” she said softly, cutting into her pancake with that annoying, neat little precision of hers. “What do you actually do? Like… all day?” He chewed slowly, buying time. No one ever asked him that. Not seriously. Everyone just knew who he was. Son of that family. Part of that business. It was understood. Expected. Even his friends didn’t bother asking.
But her? She didn’t care about any of that. She genuinely didn’t know—or maybe she did but wanted his version of it. Wanted to hear it from him, not just whispered behind closed doors or Googled with a headline next to his face. So, he swallowed, set his fork down carefully, leaned back slightly in the chair.
“What do I do?” he repeated, eyes glancing over her face like he was trying to decide how much of himself he wanted to give her. “I manage the boring rich guy stuff, apparently. Assets. Investments. Real estate. Help with family business bullshit.”
She hummed softly, almost dismissively. “Sounds annoying.” That caught him off guard. He huffed a laugh through his nose. “It is annoying.”
They sat in silence for a second, just the quiet sounds of cutlery scraping against plates.
Then she added, still not fully looking at him, “Sounds lonely too.”
That made something sharp twist in his chest. Annoyingly accurate. He stared at her, at the little crease between her brows as she focused on cutting another piece, at the way she subtly folded the napkin next to her hand without thinking about it. Always fidgeting, always folding.
She didn’t even mean it like that. It was supposed to be just a question. A throwaway thought while she was chewing, cutting another bite, syrup glistening against the fork like she was focused on literally anything else except him. Like it didn’t matter. Like it wasn’t going to completely rearrange the wires in his damn brain. “After I graduate… can I see your office or something?”
Just that. Simple. Plain. Like she was asking to borrow a pen.
But Yeosang? Yeosang heard that in HD. Dolby Atmos. Surround sound. Can I see your office echoed through his skull like she’d just proposed marriage again or something. Why was that affecting him so much? Why was his immediate internal response Yes. Yes, of course. Come sit on my lap in the stupid leather chair. Take over the entire desk, I don’t even like working, I’ll retire now, I’ll build you a whole new office, you can have my whole name—
He blinked. Dangerous thoughts. Dangerous. She didn’t even know what she’d done. But he couldn’t just say all that, obviously. He couldn’t wrap her up in a blanket and tell her she was the cutest thing alive for wanting to be in his space, in his world. He couldn’t tell her that no one—no one—had ever even bothered to ask about that part of his life. His office. His work. His real world outside of the titles and money.
So, he kept it cool. Cool and bored. Always the bored one. Mr. Nothing Affects Me.
“Sure,” he said, cutting another piece of pancake, stabbing it with his fork, stuffing it into his mouth like that would hide the feral urge he felt to grab her face and kiss the absolute life out of her. “Really?” she asked, finally glancing at him properly this time, eyes sharp and unreadable. “It’s not like a private office?”
Private office? Private office? Woman, you’re in my home. You cooked in my kitchen. You slept with your entire leg tangled around mine. And you’re asking about privacy?
He swallowed. “It’s my office. I decide what’s private.”
Another bite. Another casual shrug. Another act like he wasn’t two seconds from folding completely. Folding like the damn napkin she kept playing with next to her plate. “Sure,” he said again, this time softer. Almost like a promise. Almost like anything you ask me, ever—I’ll give it to you.
You both didn’t know one thing. You both were falling.
Maybe Yeosang knew it. Kinda. Somewhere in the background of his usually sharp, calculating mind — the same one trained to notice weaknesses in deals and flaws in contracts — there was this soft hum, like static turning into a love song. He knew something was happening. Maybe not fully, maybe not yet in words, but the pull toward you was starting to feel less like curiosity and more like instinct. Breathing. Natural. Familiar in a way nothing else had ever been.
But you? You didn’t know. You didn’t realize what was happening. You didn’t realise that while you sat here with syrup on your fork and pancake crumbs on your fingers, you were starting to heal something that he didn’t break.
Yeosang didn’t grow up with softness. His mother was the only person who offered that to him, that kind of gentle warmth that made a person feel safe, and when she left—so did that warmth. His father tried to raise him with ambition and success, not comfort. Not home. Yeosang had everything: wealth, education, sharp looks, friends who could buy out entire hotels on a dare—but not this. Not this thing he was starting to feel around you.
And you didn’t realize that you were going to get something you never thought possible, either. That here, you were healing too. Because all your life, you were raised in pieces. Your parents clipping parts of you before you could even grow. Told that your interests were silly. That your opinions didn’t matter because you were a girl. Always “too much” or “not enough.” They called it upbringing. Respect. But it wasn’t. It was shrinking. You adjusted. You bent around it like vines climbing a crumbling wall, finding space wherever you could, making a way even when there wasn’t one.
But here?
Here, no one was going to call you too much. Here, no one was going to shrink you down into something manageable. Here, no one was going to make you feel small for having hobbies or dreams or random thoughts that didn’t make sense. Here—you weren’t going to adjust anymore. You were going to thrive.
And you didn’t even know it yet.
Days blended into something that almost resembled normal life. Morning routines settled. Nights had their own rhythm. You handled your stuff—university lectures, deadlines, notes scribbled on the backs of receipts when you couldn’t find proper paper. He handled his—meetings, calls, those frustrating dinners where people tried to get on his good side for favors he never planned to give.
The two of you orbiting each other like satellites, not colliding, not quite distant either. Somewhere between strangers and something else you both refused to name yet.
But then there were nights like this.
Nights where assignments piled higher than your patience. Nights where caffeine felt like medicine, where eye bags were unavoidable, and sitting cross-legged on the living room floor with books spread around you felt like survival mode. The glow of your laptop screen threw harsh shadows across your face, highlighting the slight furrow between your brows, your bottom lip caught lightly between your teeth as you tried to figure out whatever academic nonsense your professor thought was appropriate for midnight.
Yeosang came home late that night. He had texted you. ‘Running late. Don’t wait up.’
He didn’t expect much. Maybe you’d already be in bed, curled up, hair a mess, hugging that ridiculous pillow you’d claimed as yours. Or maybe you’d be curled on the couch, knocked out with some random video playing softly in the background. But no.
He walked in, loosened his tie, and paused.
You were awake. Awake and working. Glasses slipping down your nose. Notebook covered in tiny handwriting, pages curling at the corners. For a split second, irritation sparked in him. Not at you—at himself. Why were you still up? He told you not to wait. And yet—
Then he saw it. The laptop open to some assignment, words scrolling by, academic jargon that even he didn’t have the mental energy to pretend to understand. You weren’t waiting for him. You were fighting a deadline.
Silently, he toed off his shoes, rolled up his sleeves, and went to the kitchen.
The machine hissed softly as the coffee brewed. The comforting, bitter scent filling the sharp black lines of his modern kitchen again. This time, coffee. Warm, grounding, familiar. He made it just the way you liked—two spoons of sugar, a splash of milk. Not too sweet, not too bitter. Balanced. Like you.
He poured one cup for you, one for himself, and padded back across the living room, setting the mug down next to your scattered pens and half-crumpled sticky notes.
You barely noticed at first, mumbling a quiet, “Thank you,” eyes still on the screen.
But Yeosang? He just stood there for a second, hand in his pocket, watching you. Watching how you stubbornly refused to give up, even with dark circles forming under your eyes, even with your knee bouncing from stress, even with your exhaustion creeping in like slow fog.
“Can I help?” His voice was soft, breaking through the quiet hum of the laptop fan and your messy thoughts. You blinked, finally tearing your eyes away from the screen to look at him properly.
Help? You weren’t used to that word being offered like that. Especially not for things like your work. No one really asked if they could help—you were always expected to figure it out yourself, get through it, push harder. Alone. You stared at him for a second, eyebrows furrowed slightly like you were trying to figure out if he was joking or being sarcastic. But he just sat there, leaning forward, coffee resting on his knee, expression neutral but serious. Waiting.
You hesitated. Not because you didn’t want help. Just… it felt weird. Someone wanting to take on something with you instead of at you or despite you. But you were tired. And behind all your stubbornness, you knew you could use it.
“…You can help with a couple things,” you murmured, barely above your breath.
His lips twitched slightly at that—almost a smile, almost—but he didn’t comment. Didn’t tease. Just sat up straighter, pushed his coffee aside, and motioned for you to show him.
It wasn’t even difficult stuff. Mostly organization. Proofreading. Finding references. And Yeosang, for all his cocky behavior and sharp-tongue antics, was ridiculously smart. He picked up on things quickly, helping you untangle confusing parts, correcting small mistakes you didn’t even notice you were making in your sleepy haze.
With him there, the work didn’t feel like a mountain anymore. It felt doable. Manageable. Like he was one more set of steady hands holding up the mess before it could collapse.
You didn’t talk much. Just handed things to him, pointed at the screen when you needed help cross-checking something, let him scroll through research tabs while you typed furiously to finish the parts only you could write. By the time you reached the end, you realized it had gone faster than you expected.
And… it didn’t feel heavy anymore.
As you saved the file and finally let yourself lean back against the cushions, stretching your aching fingers, you glanced at him from the corner of your eye. His sleeves were still rolled up, tie loose, hair falling slightly over his forehead. He looked relaxed. Like this wasn’t a burden. Like he didn’t mind being here at all.
“Thanks,” you said finally, voice quieter than before.
He just hummed, reaching for his now slightly-cold coffee again. “Told you,” he muttered, taking a sip, “I’m not just here to look pretty.”
You rolled your eyes at that, a small breath of laughter escaping despite yourself. And for the first time in a while, the stress didn’t feel suffocating. For the first time, you didn’t feel like you were carrying everything alone.
But now you didn’t want to move. Not even a little. Your body felt like it weighed triple, bones filled with sand, limbs heavy from the hours of grinding through assignments, deadlines, typing until your knuckles hurt. The soft hum of the laptop fan was starting to blend with the background noise of the apartment—the occasional creak of the walls, the soft ticking of the clock. So you just laid down right there on the couch, curling slightly onto your side, pressing your cheek into the cushions like they could swallow you whole.
“You shouldn’t sleep here,” his voice broke through gently. Not nagging. Not demanding. Just a low, careful suggestion. “It’s bad for your back.”
“Yeah…” you mumbled. You knew. Of course you knew. But knowing and moving were two different things. The soft, tired sound of your own voice felt distant to you, like it was coming from somewhere underwater. “M’fine… Just…gimme a minute…”
And then, you felt it. Arms sliding under you, one beneath your knees, the other curling easily around your shoulders. The couch shifted beneath you as he moved, and suddenly, you were moving too. Your eyes snapped open halfway, heavy-lidded with exhaustion but sharp with shock. What the—
He picked you up. Like it was nothing. Like you weighed absolutely nothing. Effortless. Smooth. As if this was something he did on a daily basis, as if you weren’t dead weight with tangled limbs and messy hair and exhaustion practically dripping off your skin.
You knew he worked out. You’d seen his arms, the way his shirts sometimes hugged his shoulders, the way his forearms tensed slightly when he rolled up his sleeves or carried grocery bags with one hand like they were weightless.
But this? This was a whole new experience.
You blinked up at him, groggy but vaguely scandalized, too drained to fight him on it but still indignant enough to grumble, “I can walk, you know…”
“Doesn’t look like it,” he muttered back, voice lazy but steady, gaze fixed ahead as he carefully maneuvered you toward the bedroom. His jaw was set, clean lines of his face shadowed by the low lighting, and that stupid, faint grin on his lips—like he was enjoying this a little too much.
You were too tired to argue more, head lolling lightly against his shoulder, his cologne filling your nose. Clean, sharp, warm.
“Put me down,” you murmured weakly, only half meaning it.
“No.”
That’s all he said. Just no. Simple. Firm. No teasing this time. Just—no. Because you were tired, and because he wanted to carry you. Because whether you liked it or not, this was part of who he was now—your husband. And part of that role, apparently, included picking you up like a princess when you worked yourself to exhaustion doing university assignments at midnight.
You didn’t realize when your eyes slipped closed again, but the warmth of his hold and the soft shift of the apartment around you made it easier.
He set you down gently on the bed, the mattress dipping softly under your weight. The second you hit the covers, your whole body sighed in relief, muscles unraveling like thread, tension slipping out of your shoulders as your eyelids fluttered heavily.
You barely registered him leaving, the soft rustle of fabric as he changed, the faint clink of his watch being set down somewhere on the nightstand. The apartment was quiet except for those soft, everyday sounds—the kind that made a space feel lived in. Real. And then the bed dipped again, the warmth of him close, his scent following like gravity itself. Before you could fully register it, his arm snaked around your waist, firm but not rough, and he pulled you in.
Your eyes opened halfway, brows pinching lightly. “Yeosang…”
“No complaining,” he murmured, voice low, brushing near your ear. “I know you need it.”
That shut you up real quick—not because he was being cocky, but because… he was right. You did need it. And that annoyed you more than anything, how well he was starting to read you without effort. Like this connection was some secret language only he could pick up on while you were still figuring it out. You wanted to argue. Maybe just out of habit. Maybe because that independent part of you hated the idea of needing someone this badly. But… God, it felt good. It felt safe. Not like being trapped, not like obligation—but like comfort. Like warmth. Like someone saying, It’s okay. You don’t have to hold everything up alone tonight.
So you didn’t say anything after that. Just let yourself sink into the pull of his chest against your back, his hand splayed warm over your stomach, his steady breathing brushing against the back of your neck. Everything fit a little too perfectly, like puzzle pieces you didn’t even know belonged to the same set.
And that night… that night, you both slept better than you ever had since this whole marriage thing started. No weird dreams. No uncomfortable tossing and turning. No stress lingering sharp at the edges of your thoughts.
Just… sleep.
You didn’t know how it happened, but somehow, somewhere in the middle of the night, your body betrayed your stubbornness. You woke up curled against him, face pressed gently to his chest, his scent filling your lungs like something you’d been secretly addicted to. His arm—God, his arm—was draped around you, hand cupped protectively over the back of your head like instinct. Like he was shielding you, even in sleep. And it wasn’t awkward. That’s what surprised you most. It felt natural. Not forced, not weird, just… like safety.
You could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest under your cheek, hear the soft, even rhythm of his breathing. And as much as you hated to admit it… he looked pretty like this. No, scratch that—annoyingly pretty. Long lashes resting against sharp cheekbones, lips slightly parted, hair tousled from sleep in that effortless way guys pull off without even trying.
Gross. Beautiful. Disgusting. Infuriating.
You blinked a few times, brain slowly booting up for the day, before carefully untangling yourself like a thief in the night. His arm loosened its grip like he was reluctant even in his sleep, but eventually let you go. You got up, showered, got dressed, doing your whole morning routine as quietly as possible. University wasn’t going to wait for you to bask in your soft domestic crisis. And you definitely weren’t about to stand there and gawk at his stupidly handsome sleeping face for too long. Absolutely not.
By the time you were adjusting the strap of your bag, tying your hair properly, you heard movement from the bedroom. A few minutes later, Yeosang walked out, freshly showered, damp hair pushed back, wearing that clean, crisp button-up with the sleeves rolled just enough to make you want to scream into a pillow. Grey slacks, black watch, rings back on his fingers, that usual lazy confidence laced into his posture.
He looked at you, eyes dropping down briefly to your outfit, then meeting your gaze again like it was nothing.
“I’ll pick you up later,” he said, fixing one of his cuffs. “After uni.”
You blinked. “Why?”
“Date,” he said simply, like it was obvious. “We deserve one.”
You opened your mouth, then closed it, unsure of what reaction you were supposed to give. A part of you wanted to roll your eyes, say something sarcastic—but another part… another part felt weirdly happy about it. Happy in that annoying, fluttery kind of way you weren’t ready to admit yet. So you settled for a quiet, “Okay,” adjusting your bag again, looking at the floor to hide the small smile trying to creep up on your lips.
“Good,” he said, smirking now—but this time it wasn’t cocky. It was something softer, warmer. “I’ll see you later, then.” And as you left the apartment, the weight of the day felt lighter somehow. Like maybe, just maybe, you weren’t dreading things as much anymore.
Yeosang sat in the car, one hand lazily draped over the steering wheel, the other tapping faintly against his thigh. The sun was starting to dip, casting that golden hour glow over the edges of buildings, making everything look softer, warmer, like a scene out of some movie. But Yeosang wasn’t paying attention to the scenery. Not really.He’d had a day. Meetings that dragged. Calls that felt like someone was reading tax documents aloud just to torture him. Endless signatures, fake smiles, the whole act. All he wanted right now was peace. Quiet. A good meal. And you.
A proper date with his cute wife, nothing more, nothing less. Just you sitting across from him in that way you always did—half avoiding eye contact, sleeves of your cardigan slipping past your wrists, probably fidgeting with your napkin again. That was the peace he wanted. Not luxury. Not power. Just that.
But then…
His eyes narrowed. He saw you. And you weren’t alone. There was a guy. Some nobody. Same-age, maybe older, walking beside you, too close for Yeosang’s liking, talking like he knew you well. And you—God—you were smiling. Not the full kind, not the ones Yeosang secretly hoarded like precious stones, but still smiling. Like you were comfortable. Yeosang’s jaw tightened. His fingers, the ones tapping against his thigh, stopped moving. What pissed him off wasn’t just the guy talking. It was the way he was talking to you. That casual, easygoing posture, like he thought he was funny. Like he thought he was charming. Like he thought he deserved to be walking next to you, making you smile like that.
And maybe you didn’t even realize. Maybe you were just being polite. But Yeosang saw it all. The way the guy leaned slightly in when he spoke. The way his hands moved while explaining something, animated like he wanted your full attention on him.
Yeosang didn’t like it. Not one bit.
The expensive black car, polished to perfection, stood out like a punch to the face in front of the university gates. People kept throwing glances, some doing double-takes, whispering. Whose car is that? Who’s that guy? But Yeosang didn’t care. Let them look. Let them talk. His gaze stayed locked on you and that idiot next to you. Calm on the outside. A storm brewing underneath. You didn’t know it yet.
You spotted him the moment he stepped out of the car. Yeosang wasn’t the type to make a show of himself, but somehow—he did. Maybe it was the way he stood, sharp lines of his suit catching the light, hair pushed back neatly, expression unreadable. Maybe it was the car behind him, polished black, practically humming money and influence. Maybe it was just him. Either way, heads were turning, eyes flicking between him and you like something wasn’t adding up.
You swallowed, nerves prickling up your spine. Before you could react, before you could even introduce anyone properly, he was already moving. His hand found yours—firm, warm, possessive without being rough. It startled you. Not because of the touch—you were used to that by now—but because of the timing. Calculated. Precise. Like everything he did. “This your friend?” he said calmly, looking not at you, but directly at the guy.
Before you could speak, Yeosang gave the poor guy a small, polite smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Nice to meet you,” he said smoothly, tightening his grip on your hand just slightly. “I’m her husband.”
And then, for good measure, he added his name. Kang Yeosang.
You could see the shift instantly. The recognition behind the guy’s eyes. The flicker of panic mixed with surprise. Everyone in this city knew that name—or at least the ones who mattered did. Not just because of the wealth, but because of what that name meant in certain circles. Reputation. Power. Authority. Not just a businessman—something more. Something sharp underneath the polished surface.
“Oh,” was all the guy could manage, awkward, unsure of where to put his hands now, stepping back half a pace instinctively. “Yeah,” Yeosang finished softly, expression pleasant, dangerous in its restraint. “Good talk.”
Without another word, he guided you toward the passenger seat, opened the door like a gentleman, helped you in, and shut it carefully behind you before rounding the car and getting in himself. He didn’t look at you at first. Just started the engine, pulled out of the lot with practiced ease.
What you didn’t see, however, was the slight tilt of his head down as he flicked open his messages. His fingers moved swiftly, effortlessly, typing out the guy’s name, sending it to an unknown number. No emojis. No fluff. Just a clean instruction.
A name and a dot. That’s all it took.
Then the phone slipped back into his pocket like nothing happened.
He glanced at you finally, features softening just slightly now that the irritation had passed, hand casually resting on the gear shift..
"You ready?” he asked, like none of that had just happened. You didn’t answer immediately. Your heart was still somewhere between confused, flustered, and maybe—a little impressed. And Yeosang?
He was perfectly at ease. Because no one touches what’s his.
The date itself was simple, nothing extravagant—just the way you liked it. Dinner somewhere not too loud, warm lighting, food you could pronounce, chairs that didn’t make your back ache. He didn’t drag you to some elite chef’s private villa or a high-rise with twelve spoons and seven forks. Just… normal. Comfortable.
But of course, it wasn’t normal, not with him sitting across from you like that. Rolling up his sleeves just enough to show off the veins in his forearms, leaning forward slightly when you spoke, giving you that attention that made your stomach twist in a way you’d pretend was annoyance—but you knew better now. You were far too aware of his every move, his subtle glances at your lips when you talked, his faint smile whenever you fidgeted with the sleeves of your cardigan or neatly arranged your utensils.
And he was losing it.
Internally.
Watching you talk softly about nothing—ordering dessert, choosing between tea or coffee, or even just adjusting your bracelet—like it was the most adorable thing in the world. You didn’t even have to try. That’s what drove him crazy. You could breathe and he’d be on the verge of melting into his seat like some fool.
But what really started creeping under your skin wasn’t the food or the conversation or even the comfort of the evening.
It was after.
Back in university, you started noticing something odd. The guy—the one from the parking lot—gone. No hellos in the hallway, no passing glances, no awkward waves after that weird encounter with Yeosang. Vanished. Just… gone.
You weren’t naïve. You noticed patterns. You noticed behavior. You might’ve been quiet, but you weren’t stupid.
So, you asked him. One evening, after he’d made both of you coffee, when the room was quiet and warm, you just casually dropped it like spare change on a counter.
“By the way… that guy I was talking to last week? Haven’t seen him around.”
His reaction was instant, which already gave him away. That sharp, barely-there twitch of his lips. His fingers curling ever so slightly around the mug handle.
And then—he laughed.
That annoying, deep, pretty laugh that was all throat and no apologies.
“Don’t know,” he said with a shrug, voice lazy, too smooth to be true. “Weird, isn’t it?”
Liar. Absolute liar.
And that’s what did it. That’s what made you fall.
Not the expensive car. Not the handsome face. Not even the whole husband thing.
It was that. That dumb, cocky, lying laugh paired with the soft way he helped you out of your coat or refilled your water glass without saying anything. The combination of someone who could ruin a man’s whole life in one text but still remember that you liked your toast slightly burnt.
It wasn’t fair.
And maybe, just maybe, you found yourself falling.
Not all at once. Just—a little more.
Dangerous. Warm. Annoying.
Yours.
Taglist: @jujusreader @nkryuki @lover-ofallthingspretty
Dividers from @/cafekitsune
apt for two
pairing: san x reader
cw: smut (18+), drunk!san with needy-desperate vibes (as always), afab!reader, friends-to-lovers, praise kink, mommy kink, handjob, nipple play (m!recieving), breeding kink, unprotected piv, eternal boner (you'll find out), mention of asian glow, san's fancam, not beta-read, etc.
wc: 4k (wow)
note: I WAS SUPPOSED TO FINISH LIKE THREE 1/4 DONE FICS BUT INSTEAD IM DOING THIS :) also i get asian glow too, so i love the representation i'm getting with drunk-teez!
1 shot
tonight was supposed to involve a pregame at your place before bar-hopping, but somebody decided to ditch you and turn in early (wooyoung). of course, it wasn't until 9:30 that you got the text.
you'd been waiting so patiently, only having one drink. you were saving the rest to share with your friends once he arrived. it was supposed to be the three of you, but now it's just--
2 shots
"maybe he's just tired because of work or something?"
san is sweet, trying to lighten your disappointment.
he just took his second shot, barely wincing as he swallows it quickly before gently setting the glass back on the counter -- you can tell he's trying to hide his distaste for the liquor.
"he's just hungover because he decided to go out without us last night, sannie..." you drone, "he's probably sleeping off the club."
"hm, you're probably right. but if he were here, it probably wouldn't be that fun if he's hungover."
"that's true..."
you pour another round of shots.
3 shots
"hey, let's play a game." san looks at you with bright eyes.
you can see it already -- the flush spreading across his cheeks. for such a big guy, he sure get tipsy easily.
"what kind of game? there's only the two of us."
"how about...apateu?"
"with two people?" he nods with a cute little smile. how could you deny him? "sure, if you want"
5 shots (for san)
you bite back an adoring smile as you watch san down a second shot. his expressions are a lot freer now, letting himself wince just from the smell of tequila, followed by a grossed-out groan after he takes it.
"okay, maybe we should stop. you've lost twice already." he's not very good at this game -- even when you let him pick the number for each turn.
"no, no, let's go again!" his eyes are glazed over, lids heavy from the liquor as he tries to convince you to continue.
you let a smile crack as you watch him sway prettily in front of you, "...you seem a lot more drunk than me though."
"hm?" he smiles back, "that's okay? right?"
you can't help but laugh at his adorableness. he picks up your shot glass and nudges it closer to you.
"just take one, so we're even."
it might just be the liquor, or that pretty blush on his face, but you're feeling bold.
"mm, but you had two, baby."
you say it so casually, yet he reacts to that word immediately. his expression is quickly replaced with something needy.
oh, so he liked that....
"t-then take two." he suggests with a stutter.
you pour yourself one more, right to the brim, and he watches on in awe. you drink it easily, enjoying the way san's eyes stare at your lips as you lick them clean.
"i don't think we're gonna make it to the bars tonight." you tease.
his small shy smile returns, "just stay here...with me, then."
5 shots + a glass of water (for san)
you guide san to the couch with a glass of water in your hand.
barely a few steps from the kitchen counter, he makes you stop for a moment so he can clumsily lace his fingers with yours.
"it's more secure" he murmurs shyly.
you don't say anything as you continue to lead him into the living room, but when you turn away you're biting your lip to stop yourself from pouncing on him.
you're afraid that your cuteness aggression will scare him away.
he immediately picks up a pillow to snuggle against his chest as he sits down. always needing something in his lap...
he looks up at you, all pink cheeks and smiles, as you set the glass of water down on the coffee table in front of him.
you sit down next to him and settle against the plush seat with a sigh.
"what now?" he asks eager and curious.
eager for what?
"well, first, drink some water," san obediently takes a few sips of water as you continue to speak, "do you want to watch a movie or something?"
you were planning on letting him crash on the couch, but how could you leave him when he's looking at you like that?
"hm..." he puts the glass down before looking back at you with a shy expression, "can we watch something else?"
"like what?"
"can i show you some of my fancams?"
"...fancams...?"
"yeah, i want to show you how i look in concert."
you almost giggle from how shy he's being. isn't tequila supposed to make you bolder?
"sannie, i've been to your concerts."
he pouts -- actually pouts, "but you haven't seen them like this!"
how could you deny him?
"ok, ok, let's have a look then."
you try to give him the remote to look it up, but he immediately struggles to type with it -- even turning off the tv at some point -- so you have to take over.
"so it's...'san fancam--'" you press in each letter individually.
"'--ice on my teeth 241115'" he finishes for you.
"...1...5..."
you finally type it all in and click on the video. you see woo (the ditcher of the night, you remind yourself) crouching in front of a sleekly dressed san, who looks very different from the soft and cuddly man next to you.
"how do you remember all of the numbers for the title?" you question as you finally relax back onto the couch.
he shrugs, "i dunno, i just do -- wait, start it over, we were talking during the start!"
"san, it's been like, two seconds."
"please??"
you start it over to placate him.
as you watch the video, you notice how quiet he is next to you.
he must be really into his own fancams...
you get it though. you've never watched his fancams before (you've only seen woo's because he forces you to binge them with him whenever you facetime), but he looks really good in that long coat, glasses, and with his hair slicked back like that, hitting every note with that stupidly handsome look on his face.
he looks so serious...so domineering. delectable.
so...not how you usually see him.
you turn to look at him, wondering if he's just as entranced by himself as you are -- but he's already looking at you.
you feel your cheeks heat up as you're caught ogling your friend, right in front of him.
"so...? do you like it?"
"yeah, it was a good performance, san."
"sannie." he corrects, "do you really like it, or are you just saying that?"
"no, i really like it--"
"which part? do you like the outfit? a lot of people say they like that outfit on me the most. but there's also one where i have on a see-through top..." he starts to ramble.
oh, now you know what he's looking for.
your voice is soft as you coo to him, "you looked great up there, sannie. so talented...and handsome." he smiles sheepishly as you compliment him, "did you show this to me because you wanted to show off? show me how good you are in front of a crowd?"
now he's shy.
"just wanted to know if you liked what you see."
you cradle his face with your hand, "you're so cute, baby," he melts against your touch, nuzzling his warm cheek against you, "just want some praise, hm?"
it's crazy that you have this man falling apart for you with a few words and a bare touch of your hand.
on stage, he looks so regal and put together.
right here? he looks undeniably soft and malleable.
"do you like me?"
"of course, i do." you caress his cheek with your thumb, enjoying the heat that radiates off his skin, "you're a sweetheart."
"no, like, do you like-like me?" his eyes meet yours, wide with hope and yearning.
"what, are we in middle school?" you tease.
he whines softly, "im serious"
you ignore his question and throw it back at him.
"do you like me?"
he's hesitant, timid, but eventually --
"mhm."
"oh really? since when?"
"since forever."
"why didn't you tell me?"
"because..." san briefly looks away, "because i don't know if you like me"
your hand drifts from his jaw to his chin. you can't help but admire his perfect features -- his fluffy hair, dark brows, intense eyes, cute nose, and...his lips.
you carefully glide your thumb over his pretty bottom lip, enamored by how pretty and pink it is.
he stutters out a breath.
"and if i do?"
"c-can you kiss me?" he sounds so sweet and timid when he asks. his eyes eagerly glance down at your lips as you drag his bottom lip down, revealing his pearly white teeth.
you're mesmerized by his mouth. you press against his perfect teeth and he opens up immediately, letting you drag your thumb against his soft tongue. he sucks it in, laving sweetly against the sensitive pad of your finger as he stares up at you, eager to please.
"such a good boy~"
he whines, brows furrowing in desperate need. what a sweet sound.
you move your hand from his mouth so you can get in a better position. you shift from the couch to his lap, wanting to feel his body against yours. his arms immediately loop around your body, finding your waist so he can press you closer.
you dip in, hand at the base of his neck to control him, and nudge your nose against his -- just to tease him. he tries to push up and press his lips to yours, but you stop him, hand firmly holding him back.
"what am i gonna do with you?" you shake your head, "silly boy..."
he looks confused, brows tighten together endearingly, an expression that's slightly embarrassed.
"i-i thought you wanted to kiss."
"did i say that?"
"n-no, but--"
"you think you're so pretty that anyone would let you hit?" your hand moves up to the center of his neck. you press gently on the sides of his throat, pulling a groan from his lips. "mm...maybe you are pretty..."
he shivers from the praise. you can tell he's trying to hold back, but he's still subtly trying to move his hips under you, desperate for any type of friction.
"please? just one kiss?"
"just one?" you ghost your lips on his.
he whimpers at the feeling. you guess his lips are especially sensitive.
"please"
you give in, leaning against his silky pink lips. you feel him melt against you, sighing into it like it's the sweet relief of water in a barren desert. he desperately attempts to pull you closer by your waist, but you're already firmly pressed against him.
he deepens the kiss, delicately licking against the seam of lips before diving in and dragging his tongue against yours. you taste the tequila and lust -- it makes you hungry for more. he moans prettily when you nip at his lips, sucking on the sweet, sensitive skin until it gets all puffy and plump.
when you break the kiss, he attempts to chase your lips for more, not ready to separate. you dodge his advances with an amused smile, loving how needy he is already.
"you said one kiss"
"mmm, i think i messed up on that one..." he swipes his tongue over his swollen lips as he stares hungrily at yours, eyelids heavy but gaze wanting, "can we try again?"
“maybe if you earn it again…”
he groans, “fuck,” he presses his hips against yours, making you feel how hard he is under his pants, “but i need you so bad, mommy.”
hearing that word slip from his beautiful lips almost makes you melt into a puddle, right on his lap. if it weren’t for the way you were straddling him, your thighs would’ve immediately pressed together from the amount of need you were feeling.
you press down on him just as eagerly, panting from the pressure of his hard cock against your aching clit.
"yeah? you gonna be a good boy and fill me up?"
"mhmm~" his deep voice drones, vibrating from his chest against yours, "please let me -- i need to be inside of you."
you roll your hips against him, coaxing cute whimpers from him with every press.
"think you deserve it?" you taunt. san can't even answer you, merely nodding with his eyes squeezed shut, reveling in the feeling of your body grinding against his.
your hands move down from his neck, over his chest and stomach before settling right against his covered cock. you can feel the way he twitches under his pants, desperately begging for attention.
he groans when you press against him, the minimal pressure is already too much for him to handle.
"you're already so hard for me." you stroke him over his pants, feeling the perfect contours of his erection even when separated by the fabric.
"m'always hard for you" he slurs, hips subtly flexed upwards in an attempt to feel more of you.
"let me see." you unbutton his pants with ease and use a bit of force to pull them off just far enough to reveal his pretty cock and the top of his legs. his blushing tip weeps delicately with beads of cum, already spilling against his shaft -- evidence of how close he already is to the edge.
when you wrap your hand around him, his body stiffens and his hands instantly grip over the top of your thighs to ground himself.
"w-wait...not yet--" he begs, head thrown back in ecstasy.
you haven't even done anything yet.
"sannie," you can feel him throbbing against your fingers, "baby, are you okay?"
"d-don't move." he shudders, "i m-might--"
you watch his facial expressions closely as you squeeze your fist around him, nearly drooling from the way his eyebrows scrunch together with intensity.
"oops..." you fail to hide your smile but it doesn't matter, he can't see it anyway. you swipe your thumb against the edge of his tip, massaging that sweet spot as his legs begin to shake.
you slip your other hand under his shirt, feeling up his muscled torso to his heaving chest. his skin is warm and smooth against your fingers and it makes you want to leave pretty marks all over him.
his back arches when you lazily drag your index finger against his nipple. you circle your finger around it experimentally and the needy bud hardens from your teasing touch.
"sensitive boy..." you hum.
he whimpers sweetly, "t-too much--"
you ignore his words and pinch his nipple. his mouth opens and he's barely able to take a handful of breaths before he's crying out in broken moans and thrusting against your hand. you work him through it with hushed praises, letting him fuck your fist until he's too weak to continue.
you take your other hand and run your fingers through his hair lovingly as his climax moves through him before caressing the back of his flushed neck. his overstimulated body shivers against your gentle touch, but he still leans into it.
he made a mess.
his cum spurted all over -- spilling over your hand and dripping on your lap -- so now, your pants (and his) are ruined. when san finally calms down a bit, he peeks down at the mess as well.
"i-i'm sorry, i tried to hold it in..." he stares at you with rounded eyes, sparkling with shame and embarrassment.
you tilt your head as you regard the flushed man before you, "if you're gonna be so messy, clean it up." he cowers slightly at your taunting words.
"h-how..."
you lift the hem of his shirt wordlessly and -- after a moment of confusion -- he obediently raises his arms to let you take it off. he watches on with a surprised expression as you bundle it up and use it to wipe your hands and lap.
"what? you thought i'd make you lick it up?" you tease, "didn't know you were that much of a pervert."
"i-no, i d-don't know." he stammers.
you accidentally brush against him as you're cleaning up and his body jolts harshly from the feeling. you gently move the shirt away and notice that he's still hard.
how the fuck--
he can feel your stare.
"u-um...it's..." he attempts to cover himself up with his hands, "this is normal." you throw his shirt to the side and take him by the wrists. you move his hands away and his cock twitches from your attention.
"is it?" when you look up at his face he's blushing, thoroughly embarrassed by his needy body.
"only...when i think of you." he says quietly, "y-you can just ignore it though." he stares at the way your smaller hands wrap around his wrists.
cute.
just to see what he'd do, you put his hands on your body, leading them up from your hips to your chest. he immediately gropes your tits in his large hands, letting out a pathetic noise.
"didn't know you were so insatiable..." you push him away and get off of his lap. he whines from the loss of contact but as soon as he sees you start to strip for him, he's silent, watching on in awe.
you pull off your shirt but leave your bra on -- just another way to tease and deprive him of what he wants. next, you shimmy off your pants before throwing them in his lap.
"look at the stains you left on them," you pout, "those were new." (no they weren't) "you're gonna have to buy me a new pair."
"yeah, o-ok, i'll buy you anything you want..." san ignores the pants and continues to stare at you with a cute spaced-out expression, refusing to miss even a second of you nearly naked in front of him.
he looks so good sitting there, waiting so patiently for you. his broad shoulders -- that stretch every shirt he owns -- lift every so often with the deep breaths he's taking.
his bare body is tan and fucking chiseled, you swear you could get off just grinding on his stupidly perfect abs. and the way he's keeping his hands to himself, despite how eager his cock stands for you.
when you start to approach him again, he shoves the stained clothing away to make room for you. you caress his face as you settle on top of him again.
"don't worry, baby, i'll help you."
"fuck, please."
back on top of him, you roll your hips so your covered cunt just barely grazes his hard cock. he lets out a helpless groan from the bare touch.
"oops, i forgot to take these off..." you snap the waistband of your panties against your hips, "is it okay if we just shove them to the side?" you ask, guiding his hand to feel the lace that decorates the edges.
he tugs at the fabric with thinly veiled frustration. you're surprised he hasn't lost it already. you loop your arms around his neck, letting him touch as much of you as he wants.
his hand travels under your thighs to press right over your clothed center.
"just don't mess these up too, okay?"
"i'll try my best" he presses the pads of his fingers against your cunt, feeling your wet slick soak through the thin fabric of your underwear. "f-fuck, you're already dripping."
"i'm all ready for you, sannie..." you press your hips against his hand, "you could probably just slip it right in" you whisper.
that's all the convincing it takes for him to push his hand under the fabric and run his finger against the soft lips of your cunt.
"feels good, baby~" you shove your face against the crook of his neck, mouthing and nipping against his skin. he hums gratefully at the praise -- it almost sounds like he's purring.
your slick coats his fingers as he rubs them against your sopping hole, gently pressing into you until you stretch around him. you bite your lip as he thrusts into you shallowly, barely able to finger-fuck you correctly because of how far his arm is stretched around your body.
you swear you're making a mess of his hand, dripping everywhere because of how much you want him inside of you. you pull your face away from his neck, eyes locking with his, "sannie, just fuck me."
you lift your hips up enough to press his weeping cock against you.
"b-but what about--"
you pull him in for a kiss and he immediately leans into it, melting against you once again. if you weren't so horny, you'd gush over how easy he is for you.
"don't worry, baby, i can take it."
san listens, pulling your panties to the side so he can position himself against you. he runs his cock against the seam of your cunt a few times to lubricate himself enough before slowly pushing against you. you press down at the same time, legs shaking slightly as your body stretches to accommodate his size.
"o-oh, fuck!" he chokes out, overwhelmed by the feeling of your soaking cunt sucking him in. you both moan when you sit all the way down, letting him fill you to the brim.
"mm...you fill me up so good, baby." you sigh, starting to roll your hips against him. he's so big that he presses against all the special spots inside of you with every move you make.
his hips involuntarily jerk upwards every time you lift your hips away from him, desperately needing to feel you all around him. he'd probably like cockwarming, you think -- or you would think if he wasn't fucking the thoughts from your mind.
"m-mommy, it's -- too much--" his hands wrap around your waist, squeezing faint bruises into your skin as he grapples with the feeling of your tightness fluttering around him.
your head tilts back as you speed up against him, "be good, sannie..." your breaths come out short and labored, "let mommy use your cock -- mm...fuck, yes." your mind is hazy as he hits all the right places inside of you.
he whines, pressing his face against your chest as you move against him, "i don't think i'm going to last." he twitches inside of you, already worked up to the edge.
"then go ahead," you breathe, "cum in me."
you feel the way his hips flex at the thought of filling you up, of making a mess out of you.
"i-i shouldn't..." he says -- but he's fucking up against you harder.
"why not, sannie?" you taunt, "don't want to get me pregnant?"
he lifts his head from your chest to look at you, "p-pregnant?"
"mhm," you smile down at him, "give me your babies so i can't go anywhere."
you're suddenly pressed against his hips, hard, his cock stretching you to your limit. you can feel him everywhere. you moan loudly, cunt fluttering uncontrollably from the intense pleasure he's pressing into you.
"you'd be mine?" he questions with an eager tone, almost innocently so. you can feel the way he throbs inside of you, just a touch away from tipping over the edge.
he refuses to move until you answer him.
so you try to. at least with the 1% of brain power he leaves you with.
"a-and you'd be mine." you can barely focus on the words you want to say.
san starts to shallowly thrust into you, "i'm already yours..."
"then i'm yours too."
his hands cradle your face as you continue to move against each other more desperately. he guides your face to his, pressing his lips against yours messily, teeth dragging and tongues mingling.
it's like he's only doing it to taste you. to feel you because he can't believe you're real. to claim your whole body because he can't take being away from you, even by a few centimeters.
you reach your highs together, moving perfectly in sync until you're both shaking in pleasure. you feel his hot cum fill you up, spurt after spurt -- so much in fact, you can feel it start to drip out of you, down his cock, and onto his lap.
"fuck, i might actually get pregnant from this." you say to yourself.
you feel him twitch inside of you again.
well, shit.
̆̈ ♡ friends, lovers or nothing ♡ ̆̈
pairing: mullet!bangchan x afab!stylist!reader
genre: friends to lovers, smut
MDNI!!!! please have your age in your bio
wc: 3.0k
warnings: y/n is used, mutual pining, mentions of alcohol and drinking, long-haired bangchan <333, touchy chan, kinda possessive chan, oral sex (m! receiving), fingering, car sex, public-ish sex (with nobody around), unpr0tected sex, cre4mpie.
a/n: the title is based on a john m4yer song but I kinda h8 him, so it’s rlly not based on the song btw! again, not rlly proofread. i tried to make this short but im a yapper :(
thanks for reading <3
“I can’t believe I actually grew it out.” Chris said, examining his figure in the mirror in front of him. His hands played with his own hair, longer than anticipated. His hair grew without him noticing —most days he would have it up in a ponytail or covered by headwear of any sorts.
“You’ll officially keep it long, then?” You asked, staring at your friend curiously as he tousled his hair.
“What do you think? Should I?”
“I like it.” You answered, reaching to run your fingers through his new luscious locks. “It’s gotten healthier, too.”
“Really?” A rhetorical question. You removed your hand from his head as he ran his own fingers through his hair to validate your statement. “Hm. I guess so.”
“I think you look great like this.” You stated, looking at him through the mirror. “I just cut the ends a bit. And, please, do not dye it for a while. I want to see if it can reach its full potential.” Chris scoffed at that comment, knowing well that he didn’t always have a say on whether or not he’d dye it for a comeback.
“I’ll try.”
“If they give you shit, send them to me. I can fight.” You joked. He chuckled.
“I’m probably a better shot than you, if we’re being honest.”
“I have shears, though. I’m basically Edward Scissorhands.”
“Touché.”
“So, am I still invited to the release party on Friday?” You asked Chris, who was still styling his hair in front of the mirror.
“Of course you are.” He replied.
“Don’t you think it’s kind of… funny that you’re bringing your hairstylist as your plus one?” You asked. Chris placed his hands on each side of his hips and rolled his eyes at you.
“Did you forget the years of friendship we’ve had?” He asked. “You’re not just my hairstylist. Plus, it’s great that we get to celebrate Itzy’s new EP here instead of being on tour or busy or whatever.”
“Okay, ‘m just making sure that you don’t regret it.”
“I won’t. Do you want me to pick you up?”
“Yeah.”
Chris was always busy, working on something… he never had time for leisure or for dates, visits to his family, long-term relationships, nothing like that. He barely made space to take care of his basic needs. He had been like that since you met him when you worked for JYPE as a hairdresser. You started there as an intern and took a temporary position for a few months, which turned into a few years. It hadn’t been long since you opened your own salon. You were still familiar with the current talent. But you didn’t really keep in contact with anyone except Chris and the occasional text or visit from Hyunjin and Jeongin, who asked for hair-related consultation often.
It didn’t shock you too much when Chris sent an apology text that he’d been running late at the studio and that Jeongin would pick you up instead. You were slightly disappointed at Chris overworking himself (again!) but definitely not surprised.
Jeongin picked you up earlier than you anticipated.
“Hi noona. Have you been well?” He asked, as you sat down in his car, pulling down the mirror to continue doing your makeup.
“I have! How have you been?”
“Tired. Hungry. Bloated. A little bit of everything.” He replied, a light blush appeared on his face.
“Your hair looks cute like this.” You commented. Jeongin blushed.
“Thank you. I think I’m liking it natural for now.”
“Good, you should all stop bleaching it so often if you don’t want a baldracha soon.” You teased; he laughed. “Thanks for picking me up, by the way.”
“You’re always welcome, noona.”
Jeongin pulled up at the company’s venue and left his car in the valet parking. You, who had considered taking your own car and meeting Chris there, were endlessly thankful that you didn’t; just because you wouldn’t have to park. When you arrived at the venue, someone took your attendance as Chris’s plus one that instead arrived with Jeongin.
You greeted your past clients and coworkers with excited and emotional hugs, holding small talk with all of them, even with JYP himself.
“Y/N!” Yeji almost screamed when she saw you, instantly taking you into her embrace. Jeongin congratulated her and squeezed your arm to let you know that he’d be with his members. “I’m so happy to finally see you again!”
“You are too! Congratulations on the album as well. I’ve been playing ever since it came out!” You said, she blushed at that.
“Where’s Chris? I thought you’d be coming with him… not Jeongin?” She asked. “Did you know that I asked him for your address to send you an invite and he said that you were his plus one? Rude, right? I didn’t want you to think that we didn’t want you here!”
“I did not know that.” You chuckled, confused but, again, not too surprised. “I would never think that you didn’t want me here, though. I’d be salty if that were true.” She laughed.
“Ah! I miss you, unnie.” She spoke. “My new stylist is great, but I miss talking to you.”
“Feel free to text me whenever.” You offered. “Hyunjin and Jeongin text me, like, once a day to ask about shampoo and styling cream.” She giggled, still holding you in her embrace. You felt reminiscent; not missing the workplace environment in itself but you did miss your clients. Especially those with whom you had worked closely with, like Itzy and Stray Kids.
You turned around when you felt a hand on the small of your back. You smelled his perfume before actually seeing him. Looking back, Chris, Changbin and Jisung stood around you and Yeji. They expressed their commendations to Yeji before shifting their attention to you. Yeji thanked them and gave you one last squeeze before leaving you.
“Noona!” Jisung sang as he gave you a hug. Changbin followed suit.
It had been months since you had last seen them. They both looked (and felt) more muscular. You almost blushed at their embraces. Then you turned your attention to Chris frowning at him. Jisung and Changbin waved at you, leaving you alone with Chris, catching the vibe.
“I know, I know! I’m sorry!” He said, before you could speak up. You deadpanned. “I couldn’t leave just yet! I was going to let you know with a bit more time, but Jeongin offered to pick you up.” You just stared at him, slowly blinking. “Will you keep guilt-tripping me or are you going to enjoy this? I could’ve brought Hannah.”
“I don’t know. A certain member of Itzy told me that I was invited anyways, so you could’ve brought your sister instead.” You smirked, Chris’s face turned crimson immediately. “So yeah. I could’ve been here on my own accord!”
“Okay, you got me there. I wanted to pick you up because I have something that I wanted to show you…” He muttered. “But whatever, it’ll be too late to go now. I wasn’t even supposed to go to work today.” You rolled your eyes.
“Or you could’ve been honest and invited me out independently.” You countered, making him blush again.
“I’m kind of dumb. I didn’t think you’d want to hang out with me if you saw me last week.”
“Chris, I love hanging out with you. You don’t really need an excuse for that.” You added, softly, taking a hold of his arm. “Let’s go. Your children quite literally look so lost and miserable without you. They work with everyone here, why are they standing in the corner huddling like penguins?” Chris laughed.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I promise it won’t happen again.” He said, you deadpanned once again. “Okay, I’ll let you know with anticipation, if it’s going to happen.” You stared at him. “I won’t lie about your invitation to events.” You said nothing, he sighed. “And I’ll give Yeji your address…”
“Apology accepted! Let’s get shitfaced!”
You excitedly greeted Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Minho. You had seen more of Jeongin and Hyunjin as they visited you at the salon sometimes. And you did know what Jisung and Changbin were generally up to because they were always with Chris. But the other members and their current personal endeavors were a mystery to you. You listened as Felix talked about how the tour would start soon. Seungmin was taking piano lessons from Jeongin. Jisung had been writing song for a new group. Changbin’s family bought a golf cart and had to return it. Minho told you about his latest fishing trip and how it ended early because Jisung couldn’t handle living without air-conditioning.
Not that you paid too much attention to their conversations. You couldn’t pay attention when with every passing drink, Chris’s arm shifted a little lower on your body. It started with his arm around your shoulders, then on your upper back, lowered down to your waist and now his arm was draped lazily around your hips. It almost seemed unintentional.
You could feel the heat of his body next to yours. His hold on you nearly seemed… possessive. As if he wanted to let everyone know that you were there with him. Him… not anyone else, despite being surrounded by men and arriving with a different guy. A few drinks in and the alcohol’s buzz made you feel like dancing. You were taken by surprise when Hyunjin asked you to dance with him, even with Chris’s grip on you.
You agreed, of course.
You couldn’t remember which track was playing, you just knew that dancing was top priority. Especially when you had Hyunjin, an acclaimed dancer, on your arm. His hands found their way to yours, interlocking your fingers. He twirled you around, laughing at the childish dance for a not-so-childish song. You didn’t care and neither did he or anyone else. Instead, people joined you and Hyunjin (always a natural trendsetter). The song changed to a slower beat, a deeper tone.
Suddenly, you felt the same warm arm around you, dragging your attention away from Hyunjin who kept dancing alone. Chris’s strong hands held your waist, pulling you closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his neck. You were so close that his drunken breath ghosted against you. Your heart nearly skipped beats due to the close proximity between you. You swung your hips lazily to the song, not being able to register anything aside from Chris.
“You look beautiful, by the way.” He said in a low, deep voice. “I would’ve loved to have arrived with you. For everyone to see us… getting here… together. The way it should’ve happened.”
“Chris.” You warned him, knowing that he could regret saying something stupid.
“I know…” He paused. “But I don’t care.”
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m tipsy at most, not even that.” He countered. “I meant what I said. I wish we had come together. I should have risked it all.”
“Why don’t you, then?” You teased; he blinked at you in disbelief. You weren’t sure if he was bluffing or not. “Risk it all…” Chris clenched his jaw.
“Babe, you’re joking, right?” He asked less dazed, more serious, “don’t play me like that.” You nodded in response, inching closer to his ear and whispered
“I’d risk it all… if it’s for you.”
Chris took no time in grabbing your arm, pulling you away from your dancing friends, who stared at you confounded —not that you noticed or even cared about that. Not when Chris seemed so needy. You had blurred the lines of your friendship many times… a drunk confession here, a stoned kiss there. But you weren’t sure where Chris actually stood in terms of you —not until Yeji said that he was adamant about you being his plus one… or him wanting to arrive with you on his arm. And you would risk it all for him. That was the truth of the matter, you hoped that he’d mean those words as well; that it wasn’t just another tipsy confession that would be ignored the next day.
You said a very, very quick and superficial goodbye to the members of Itzy and the Stray Kids who weren’t on the dance floor, still held by Chris’s grasp… on your hand now. Using the excuse that you were tipsy and not feeling well. Which was a blatant lie, you felt sober once Chris’s hands were on your body. By the looks of it… and the intentionality of his actions, he wasn’t even tipsy either.
He didn’t say anything to you; you arrived at the parking lot. Chris never cared for valet parking, instead he searched for his car, parked in a dark corner of the lot, and unlocked it with his beeper. Your heart raced when he opened the passenger door for you. Once inside, he slammed his lips on yours… not giving you or himself no time to regret it. This kiss was different from the others. It felt more desperate and hungrier and real. It felt like a kiss you weren’t going to conveniently forget the next morning. His lips tasted faintly like lychee soju and cocoa whiskey, yours were locked on his… your lipstick transferring to a smudge on his face. His hands were on your face and yours tangled in his luscious locks.
You kissed him hard and slow and sexy for that seemed like an eternity. The familiar warmth of his hands roamed your entire body as the kiss grew needier and hungrier with each passing moment. And you couldn’t help but focus on the feeling of your arousal soaking your panties. Especially when one of Chris’s hands had been sitting on your inner thigh, grabbing at it, inching closer to your center.
“Fuck, Y/N...” Chris moaned out, breaking the kiss. “Want to get out of here?”
“We could…or…we could take it to the backseat?” You offered. Chris nodded frantically. You crawled from the passenger seat to the backseat as Chris placed the sunshade on his windshield for a better —false sense of privacy. You started undressing, desperate to finally feel Chris’s body on yours. You took off your heels, then your panties. Then, Chris joined you in the back, desperately attempting to take his shirt off, discarding it in the front seat.
“C’mon, baby.” Chris said, patting his lap for you to straddle him.
His black slacks did miracles to conceal his growing bulge because you didn’t notice it until you were sitting on top of it. You could feel his sharp erection poke at your entrance through the flimsy fabric of your underwear. The unexpected friction made you let out an involuntary moan. Chris’s hands found your hips, helping you grind against him until it became too much. His head was thrown back, eyes closed, lips parted in such a delicious manner that you would’ve loved to take a picture. To save that moment forever in a physical sense. You halted your movements, lowering yourself onto your knees in the small space between the back and front seat. Chris looked at you, confused.
Your hands found the button of Chris’s pants; he looked at you with dazed stars in his eyes and helped you lower down his pants and underwear. His cock sprung up, girthy and hard against his stomach. You wasted no time in taking him into his mouth. Chris’s hands wasted no time in tangling his hands into your hair, which, in return, made you moan.
“Baby, that feels…heavenly.” He groaned as he accidentally bucked his hips upwards. Your nose met the coarse hair on his pubic bone. His hands pushed your head, making you deepthroat him further. “Sorry, baby. S-sorry. It just feels so good.” He released his grip on your hair, but you kept him deep in your mouth. Chris moaned at that feeling. “Shit, baby. I’m going to cum if you don’t…”
You released his cock with a pop of your mouth. Your saliva coating his dick, pubes and the corners of your mouth.
“Come ride me, baby.” He said, breathless… grinning with satisfaction.
You were now bare in front of him, teasing his erection with your folds, grinding against it. He threw his head back every time his tip prodded your entrance. Then, you took him in… all at once. It was painfully pleasurable. But you still made a mental note to not take him without prep again. The stretch was still delicious. Chris took his time in adjusting to the feeling of your walls clenching around him. But, you were desperate. His hands tried to ground you on his dick, you started moving. Chris moaned at your unexpectedly fast pace. His tip kissed the deepest crevices of your cervix as his hands caressed your ass. They groped and grabbed at it every time you moved on his dick.
His hand snaked between your bodies to find your clit, rubbing sultry circles around it. The pleasure made you feel surprisingly on edge. You kept bouncing on Chris’s dick, desperate for release… more specifically, his release inside of you. You didn’t have to say that you wanted it. Chris knew.
“You want me to cum, baby?” He asked, breathless. You nodded frantically, speeding your movements. Chris thrusted upwards, meeting you in the middle. Until he pumped you full of him with a curse; warm, deep and delicious cum flooded your insides.
Chris slipped out of you after he caught his breath. He asked you to sit down where he was sitting just moments before. He observed his cum dripping out of you, licking his lips. Ultimately deciding to use his fingers to bring you to your release. Two fingers on one hand worked on pushing his release deeper into your counter, while the fingers on his other hand rubbed wet circles on your clit. The sight itself could make you cum if you weren’t already about to. Your climax found you quickly, you saw white stars everywhere as you clenched around his fingers; helping his cum reach deeper than he ever thought it would. Chris pressed a kiss to your soaked cunt and slid your panties on.
“Not that I care if you drip on my car…” He justified. “I just like seeing you full…” He chuckled lightly, unserious. Chris leaned to kiss you in a reassuring way.
“So, what are we now?” You teased. “Friends, lovers or nothing?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to being friends.” He replied, chest rising and falling. “And I could never bear to be ‘nothing’ to you.”
“So, lovers it is?”
“If you want to, of course.”
You do.
Of course.
☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・
Copyright Ⓒ 2025 by deadpanjisung
All rights reserved.
☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・
even if it’s a secret.
bang chan x manager!reader
synopsis: you’re the group’s manager. he’s a member. and falling for each other wasn’t part of the job description, but it happened anyway.
warnings: angst, emotional tension, forbidden romance, mutual pining, slightly suggestive.
wc: 15,450
[even if it’s a secret part 2]
You knew better.
From the very first day, the rules were clear. No relationships with the members. No overstepping boundaries. No exceptions.
The warning wasn’t hidden in the fine print, it was in bold, highlighted in yellow, underlined three times in the company’s hiring packet. You had to sign your name next to it, affirming you understood the terms. Dating any member of Stray Kids meant immediate termination and likely blacklisting. It didn’t matter if you were the best manager in the company’s history. The risk wasn’t worth it to them.
And you told yourself, repeatedly that you weren’t here to fall for anyone. You were here to work, to be reliable, professional, focused. You’d trained years for this position. Your first few months were a blur of red-eye flights, rehearsal schedules, meetings, and last-minute wardrobe runs. You worked yourself to the bone to prove you could handle it, to build trust with the boys, the staff, the company.
You didn’t know when it shifted.
Maybe it was late one night, when you found Chan alone in the practice room after everyone else had left, hunched over his laptop, his hair damp with sweat. Maybe it was the way he looked up at you not surprised, not annoyed, just… tired. And open in a way that made your breath catch.
Maybe it was that night in Tokyo, after a press conference, when it started to rain and you handed him your umbrella without a second thought, and he blinked at you like you’d just given him a piece of the moon.
Or maybe it had always been there, blooming quietly beneath every shared glance, every casual touch that lingered a moment too long, every joke that turned into an inside one.
But denial is a powerful drug. You convinced yourself it was just your imagination, he was kind to everyone, affectionate, thoughtful. That’s who Chan was. A leader. Someone who carried the weight of the members lives on his shoulders. He couldn’t afford distractions. And you couldn’t afford to be one.
But the cracks began to show.
It was in the way he started looking at you longer than he should have. In the way his fingers would graze yours when you handed him a water bottle, like he didn’t want to let go. The way his eyes searched for you in crowded rooms like he could exhale only after seeing you were still there.
And you hated that it made your heart race. That it made you feel seen. That it made you wonder.
The breaking point didn’t come in some dramatic thunderstorm or impassioned moment. It came quietly, on a regular Tuesday night, in the empty dressing room after a music show.
The others had already left to return to the dorm. You were gathering scattered jackets and leftover coffee cups when you realized Chan hadn’t left with them.
He sat silently on the sofa, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tightly.
You turned. “You okay?”
He looked up, his eyes heavy with something unspoken. “I can’t keep doing this.”
You blinked. “Doing what?”
“This,” he gestured between you, voice low but intense. “Pretending.”
Your breath caught.
“Pretending I don’t feel what I feel every time you walk into a room,” he continued, standing now. “Pretending I’m not in love with you.”
The words felt like they fractured something inside you. You stood frozen, heart pounding in your chest like it wanted to claw its way out.
“Chan…”
“I know it’s wrong,” he said quickly, as if that would lessen the weight of it. “I know what the contract says. I know what we’re risking. But I can’t lie anymore. Not to myself. Not to you.”
You wanted to cry. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to scream at him for making it harder than it already was.
Instead, you took a shaky breath and said the only thing you could.
“You’d be fine, Chan,” you said, and your voice cracked. “If this came out, if someone found out—you might get a warning, a slap on the wrist, But me?” You laughed bitterly. “I’d be fired. My name would be ruined. I’d never get another job in this industry again.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I know that. But I wouldn’t let that happen to you.”
“You couldn’t stop it,” you snapped, harsher than you meant. “It’s not about what you want to happen, it’s about what will. The company doesn’t care about feelings. They care about control.”
“Then we keep it a secret,” he said, stepping closer. “If someone finds out, I’ll talk to the company. I’ll take the blame. I’ll say I pressured you. Anything.”
“And then what?” you whispered, your voice breaking. “You take the fall, your reputation takes a hit, the group gets pulled into it, and I still lose everything. Do you think that’s fair?”
“No,” he said quietly. “It’s not fair. None of this is.”
You turned away, your throat tightening. You felt like you were drowning in a sea of everything unsaid.
He stepped behind you, close enough to feel the warmth of him. His voice was barely a breath when he spoke.
“But I love you.”
You closed your eyes.
“You’re not just someone I care about. You’re not just a friend or a manager or some passing crush I can ignore. You’re…” His voice faltered. “You’re the person I think about when things get hard. You’re the one I look for when I need to breathe. You’ve been in my head for months. You’re already in my heart. I can’t keep pretending like that’s not true.”
The silence stretched between you like a wound.
You turned slowly, your eyes meeting his. And in that moment, everything you’d buried surfaced. The months of tension. The longing. The guilt. The love.
“I love you too,” you whispered. “But loving you doesn’t mean we get to be selfish.”
“I’m not being selfish,” he said, his voice firm now. “I’m being honest. I’m tired of hiding. Of swallowing every feeling and pretending it doesn’t kill me every time I have to walk past you like you’re not the most important person in my life.”
He reached for your hand and held it gently, like it was the most fragile thing in the world. “I don’t want to keep living in a world where I have to pretend I don’t care about you.”
You stared at his fingers wrapped around yours, then back up at him. “Then what do we do?”
“We try,” he said simply. “We be careful. We stay quiet. But we don’t lie to ourselves anymore. Not if it’s real.”
Tears stung your eyes. “And if someone finds out?”
“Then we face it together.”
You wanted to believe him. Desperately.
But this wasn’t a fairytale. This was real life, with contracts and NDAs and powerful corporations that didn’t blink before crushing people for stepping out of line.
You pulled your hand away, gently. “I can’t let you do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I love you too much to let you risk everything for me.”
His jaw tensed. “But I’m choosing this. You don’t get to decide for me.”
“And you don’t get to make me choose between my career and you,” you shot back.
The air between you thickened with everything neither of you could fix.
You turned your back again, bracing yourself against the table. “Do you know how hard it’s been?” you asked quietly. “Every day. Watching you smile at me like I’m the only person in the room. Feeling it. Knowing I couldn’t do anything about it.”
You laughed, hollow. “Do you know how much I wanted to just… give in?”
He didn’t say anything, but you could hear the hurt in the silence.
“But I couldn’t. I can’t.” You swallowed hard. “I need this job. I worked too hard to get here. And I love you, I love you, but I can’t throw away everything I’ve built. Not unless there’s a guarantee.”
“There are no guarantees,” he said. “Not with love. Not with anything worth fighting for.”
You turned to him, and for a long moment, all you could do was look.
There was so much love in his eyes. So much pain. So much desperation.
You stepped closer again, against your better judgment. Your hands trembled as you cupped his face. “I don’t want to walk away.”
“Then don’t.”
“I’m scared,” you admitted. “I’m terrified.”
He leaned in, his forehead resting against yours. “So am I.”
You stood like that for what felt like forever, wrapped in a silence that spoke louder than words.
Then, quietly, he said, “Even if we have to hide. Even if we have to lie. I’d rather have you in secret than not at all.”
And you broke.
You kissed him.
Desperately. Softly. Like you were memorizing the feel of him in case this was the last time.
And when you pulled away, tears running down your cheeks, you whispered, “Okay.”
His eyes widened slightly. “Okay?”
“We’ll be careful,” you said. “We’ll keep it quiet. We’ll make it work. But if it ever gets too risky—if it ever threatens the group or your career—”
“We’ll talk about it,” he promised.
You nodded slowly. “We’ll talk about it.”
Because that’s all you could do.
You couldn’t promise forever. You couldn’t promise safety. You couldn’t promise that one day, someone wouldn’t find out and tear everything apart.
But you could promise now. You could promise this moment.
-
The first few days were strange.
Not in the way you expected, not in the terrifying, world-ending way where someone found out or you immediately regretted what you’d agreed to. No. The strangeness came from how natural it felt. How right it was, despite how wrong it had to stay.
That night in the dressing room had changed something between you. You didn’t kiss him again, not after that moment, but the lines had been crossed. Shattered, really. There was no going back.
There was only the secret, and how you both tried clumsily, cautiously, desperately to keep it alive without being seen.
You started slow. Too afraid to risk more than the smallest gestures during the day. So you saved your love for after dark, when no one else was watching.
The first time Chan called you, it was nearly 2 a.m.
You were curled up on your couch, still in your work clothes, your bag discarded by the door. The exhaustion was bone-deep, but your mind was spinning too fast to sleep. You hadn’t heard from him since the group had gotten back to the dorm, and though you knew you couldn’t expect anything, you couldn’t stop the ache that came from the silence.
When your phone lit up with his name, your heart nearly leapt out of your chest.
You answered quickly but softly. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he whispered, voice low and hoarse. “Did I wake you?”
“No,” you said, and you meant it. “Couldn’t sleep.”
There was a pause. The kind that only happens when someone’s just listening to you breathe.
“I keep thinking about you,” he said finally, almost like a confession. “I thought hearing your voice might help.”
You closed your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. “It does.”
The first night, you talked for almost an hour. The second, two. The third, until the sun started to rise and you both reluctantly said goodbye like teenagers hanging up on a forbidden call.
Sometimes it was just texting harmless emojis, a photo of the ramen you were eating, a voice memo of him humming something he was working on in the studio. But every message came with risk. So you deleted them. Immediately. Every time. Not because you wanted to, but because you had to.
You hated it, hated how your phone felt sterile afterward, like it had no trace of him. No proof that you mattered to each other in this quiet, fragile way. But he always understood.
Even if his texts came with little sad faces sometimes.
Even if you could hear it in his voice when he said, “Just promise me you don’t delete me with the messages.”
And you’d whisper back, “Never.”
During the day, it was like nothing had changed.
You were a manager again, focused, efficient, distant. He was their leader charismatic, steady, warm to everyone. The world spun the same way it always had, but underneath the surface, everything felt different.
It was in the glances.
Just the slightest lift of an eyebrow across the room. A tiny, secret smile that disappeared as quickly as it came. You’d brush past each other during wardrobe changes or walks to the van, close enough to feel the heat of his skin, but never touching. Never letting it linger.
Sometimes your fingers would graze barely, accidentally-on-purpose and it would feel like someone had plugged a live wire into your veins.
It was unbearable.
The worst part? He couldn’t hide it as easily as you could.
Chan had never been good at masks. He felt everything, always had. And now that he was letting himself feel this, letting himself have this, it was a constant battle to keep it under control.
He’d look at you like he wanted to fold you into his arms, right there in the hallway.
You’d see it in the way he held himself back during rehearsal breaks, biting his lip to stop from smiling when you offered him a bottle of water. You’d feel it in how close he stood next to you during briefings, his hand twitching like it ached to reach for yours.
And when he slipped sometimes, when his voice dropped too softly when he said your name, or when his gaze lingered a beat too long, you had to step in.
You’d catch his eye, give a quiet shake of your head, and whisper under your breath, “Chan. Staff’s around. Members, too.”
His jaw would clench. Not at you, never at you, but at the reminder that this was the price you had to pay just to love each other.
On the fifth night, he video-called you from the studio.
You were lying in bed, makeup off, wearing one of his hoodies you’d “accidentally” taken after a shoot a few weeks back. You never wore it outside. Never brought it near the dorms. But at night, when it was just you and the silence, it helped.
You answered with a tired smile. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
He gave a half-laugh, rubbing his eyes. “I haven’t. Been working on a track. I needed a break… thought of you.”
You tucked your knees to your chest, voice quieter. “I miss you.”
His eyes softened, even through the screen. “I miss you, too.”
There was a long silence after that.
Not uncomfortable, but aching. Longing. You both just sat there, watching each other in real time, like you were afraid the moment would disappear if you spoke too loud.
“I wish I could just… be with you,” he said finally. “Sit next to you. Hold you.”
You swallowed hard. “Me too.”
His hand lifted, fingers brushing his camera lens. “If I were there, I’d hold your face like this. I’d kiss you slow. Not rushed. Not like we’re stealing it.”
You pressed your lips together, fighting back emotion. “But we are stealing it.”
“I know.”
You looked down. “Does it ever make you feel guilty? Like we’re hiding something we shouldn’t?”
“No,” he said firmly. “I don’t feel guilty about loving you. I just feel angry that we have to hide it.”
You didn’t reply.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I hate this part.”
“What part?”
“The in-between. Where I can talk to you all night, but I can’t touch you. Can’t see you during the day without pretending you’re just my manager.”
You nodded slowly. “It’s the same for me. Worse, maybe. I have to act like I don’t see the way you look at me. I have to keep my face neutral. I have to remind myself, over and over, that someone could be watching.”
His expression darkened a little. “I don’t want you to carry all the fear.”
“I don’t want you to carry it either.”
His jaw clenched again. “One day, I’ll fix it. I don’t know how yet. But I will.”
You didn’t say anything. Not because you didn’t believe him, but because you did and that made it hurt more.
Because if there was one thing you were starting to realize, it was that loving Chan in secret felt like trying to hold sunlight in your hands.
Beautiful. Blinding.
And impossible to keep forever.
You weren’t expecting anyone.
It had been a long week. Your shoulders still ached from carrying bags and managing logistics for three consecutive days of performances. You’d only been home an hour, your work phone muted and tossed facedown on the coffee table for the first time in what felt like forever.
The apartment was dimly lit, soft yellow light spilling across the kitchen where you were standing barefoot in a loose shirt and shorts, hair still damp from the shower. You hadn’t planned on doing anything tonight just a little cooking, maybe a mindless show in the background, sleep by midnight if your anxiety didn’t keep you up.
Your playlist hummed quietly from a speaker by the counter, something slow and jazzy, familiar enough to ground you.
You were mid-stir at the stove when the doorbell rang.
You didn’t even look through the peephole.
Just wiped your hands on a dish towel, assuming it was a delivery you’d forgotten about or a neighbor needing something until you opened the door.
And nearly dropped the towel in your hands.
Because it was him.
Chan stood in your doorway with a hood over his head, a black mask hanging loosely around his neck, and that look on his face the one he wore when he was about to do something he knew he absolutely shouldn’t.
Mischievous. Slightly smug. And breathtakingly beautiful.
Your mouth opened but no words came out. Your eyes darted down the hallway, heart racing in your chest.
“Are you insane?” you whispered, grabbing his sleeve and tugging him inside quickly, glancing both ways before shutting the door behind him.
He let you pull him in, his hands raised like he was surrendering to the crime.
“What are you doing here?” you hissed, locking the door.
“Nice to see you too,” he said, grinning.
“Chan, this is so risky.” You stepped back, hands flailing a little, your mind already spinning with the thousand possible ways this could go wrong. “What if someone saw you? What if someone followed you? What if a fan recognized you on the way here or—or someone tracked your location?”
He chuckled, taking off his hoodie and mask, his hair a little tousled underneath. “Relax. No one followed me. I was careful.”
“You shouldn't be here,” you said, half-panicked, half-distracted by how unreasonably good he looked in a simple T-shirt and joggers.
“And yet,” he said, walking slowly toward you, “here I am.”
You were still frozen near the kitchen doorway, heart thudding in your chest. “You can’t just show up like this.”
“I texted,” he shrugged, “but you didn’t answer.”
You checked your phone instinctively, two missed messages from him about 20 minutes ago. You must’ve left it on vibrate in the other room.
“I didn’t see them,” you mumbled, still stunned. “I was cooking…”
“That,” he said, pausing beside you, eyes trailing over your shoulder, “smells amazing.”
You blinked, thrown off. “Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m not,” he said, stepping closer. “I’m just appreciating all the senses at once.”
You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms. “Why are you here, Chan? Really.”
He didn’t answer.
Not with words, at least.
Instead, he reached up and cupped your cheeks gently, fingers warm against your skin and then kissed you.
Your breath caught in your throat.
The world tilted.
It was soft, deliberate, and silencing. Every worry, every “what if,” melted the second his lips met yours. Like he’d been waiting weeks for this moment like you had. Like every late-night call and every glance across crowded rooms had been building to this.
When you pulled away, his forehead rested lightly against yours. You could feel his smile even before you saw it.
“You’re dangerous,” you whispered.
“And you opened the door,” he murmured back.
You groaned, stepping back and placing a hand on your chest, trying to catch your breath. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m persistent,” he corrected, looking over your shoulder at the stovetop again. “Is that garlic I smell?”
“Yes. Don’t change the subject again.”
He held up both hands, feigning innocence. “Fine. You want the truth?”
You gave him a pointed look. “That would be nice.”
“I was going crazy,” he said simply. “I needed to see you. Not through a screen. Not at a distance. Not for ten seconds in a hallway where I can’t touch you.”
Your arms fell to your sides, your anger softening despite yourself.
“I just… wanted to be where you are,” he said, voice quieter now. “No pretending. Just for one night.”
You exhaled slowly. “You do realize how incredibly wrong this is, right?”
“Yep.”
“And how reckless.”
“Totally.”
You groaned again. “Chan—”
“If it makes you feel better,” he said, leaning against the counter like he owned the place, “I rehearsed what I’d say if someone saw me. I’d say we had a work meeting. A creative meeting for… I don’t know, a staff project or something.”
You stared at him.
“Do you know how bad that excuse is?” you said. “That’s the worst lie I’ve ever heard.”
He just grinned. “Which is why no one saw me.”
You shook your head, trying not to smile. “You’re going to get us both fired.”
He tilted his head. “Should I leave, then?”
Your stomach dropped.
He wasn’t serious. You knew that.
But the second he said it, you panicked.
“No—don’t,” you said quickly, stepping toward him without thinking.
He smiled. And just like that, your resolve crumbled.
He pulled you into a hug, arms wrapping around your waist, face tucking into the curve of your neck.
You melted against him like you’d been holding your breath for days.
It was the first time you’d touched him this long. The first time you didn’t have to pretend it meant nothing. The first time you could let yourself feel it, fully and without guilt, at least within the safety of these walls.
His voice was low against your skin. “Our first time alone together… and you’re wasting it lecturing me.”
You let out a breathy laugh, half-embarrassed, half-exasperated.
He leaned back slightly, just enough to see your face, and gave you that wink the one that always made your heart stutter.
You smacked his chest playfully. “You’re the worst.”
“I’m the best,” he corrected, grinning.
You sighed. “Fine. You can stay.”
He gave a little celebratory bounce in place.
“But,” you added, pointing at him, “you’re not sleeping over.”
“Of course not,” he said, clearly lying.
“And if anyone finds out about this—”
“They won’t.”
“And you’re helping me clean up the kitchen.”
“I was born to help in kitchens.”
You finally smiled, really smiled and shook your head as you turned back to the stove.
He followed, hovering beside you like a puppy, watching everything you did with an expression of awe like you were doing something magical just by chopping vegetables.
“You know,” he said after a while, “I’ve heard your voice a thousand times. On calls, in meetings, over text. But this? Watching you cook? Seeing you like this, just… being?”
You glanced at him, heart suddenly thudding again.
“It’s my favorite version of you so far.”
You didn’t answer. Just handed him the bowl of vegetables and looked away before your heart betrayed you completely.
He didn’t need you to say anything.
Because in that quiet, sacred space—where no one could see, no one could judge—you didn’t have to pretend.
Not tonight.
Tonight, he was yours.
-
Dinner passed in a haze of warmth and light laughter.
You couldn’t remember the last time you had a meal with someone like this no pretense, no work talk, no clattering plates in crowded schedules or half-eaten bites between coordinating stage calls. Just the two of you, sitting across from each other at your tiny kitchen table, knees occasionally bumping under the surface, soft music curling through the air around your words.
Chan had cleaned his plate entirely. Then licked a bit of sauce off his thumb with a ridiculous sound effect that made you snort.
He was like that, equal parts charming and ridiculous, a magnet for ease in a world where you always felt the need to be rigid. Controlled. Professional.
Now, you were both curled up on the couch, the dishes rinsed and forgotten, the lights dimmed to a soft glow. A blanket stretched across both your laps, Chan’s arm slung lazily around your shoulders as if he belonged there.
You hadn’t invited him to sit so close.
He just did.
And you didn’t stop him.
Your cheek leaned lightly against his shoulder, fingers resting on the hem of your own shirt, a nervous tick you’d developed as soon as he’d gotten quiet.
He was staring around your apartment with this soft look in his eyes, one that made you feel like he was memorizing every detail. Like he was trying to fold your world into his.
“You know,” he said suddenly, voice low and a little sleepy, “your apartment’s really cozy.”
You smiled faintly. “Thanks. It’s nothing special.”
“It is to me.”
You rolled your eyes, half-blushing. “It’s not like you’ve seen anyone else’s.”
“That’s true,” he admitted, running his hand down your arm gently. “Still. I could get used to this. Coming over. Eating your food. Watching TV like this. Feels normal.”
You tensed just slightly.
Not enough to make him pull away, but enough that he noticed.
“Chan…”
He looked down at you, eyes curious.
You gave a quiet sigh. “You can’t.”
He gave a lopsided smile, the kind he wore when he knew you were right but hated it anyway. “I know.”
You sat up a little straighter, pulling the blanket closer around your lap. “You really can’t.”
“I know,” he said again, nodding. “No unannounced visits. No getting used to things. Just this… tonight.”
He said it without bitterness. Just acceptance.
But it still stung.
You looked up at him. “Where did you tell Jeongin you were going, anyway?”
He smirked. “Told him I was going to the studio to help Bang Chan finish something.”
You raised an eyebrow. “You are Bang Chan.”
He laughed. “Exactly. Can’t call me out if I’m technically not lying.”
You shook your head, half-exasperated, half-amused. “That poor kid trusts you.”
“He does,” Chan said softly. “They all do.”
There was a pause.
And then, with a surprising seriousness: “Do you ever think about telling them?”
Your smile vanished instantly.
“No,” you said, too fast, too firmly.
His eyes searched your face. “Not ever?”
You exhaled through your nose. “Chan… no. I couldn’t.”
He frowned. “Why not?”
You pulled away just slightly, not out of anger, but to look at him properly. “Because it’s not just about us.”
He stayed quiet, letting you speak.
“I worked hard to build trust with them. All of them. Not just as a manager, but as someone they could rely on. Who was neutral. Professional. Safe. If they found out about this, about us they might not look at me the same way again. Even if they didn’t say it out loud, even if they tried to be supportive, something would shift.”
You wrapped your arms around your knees.
“I can’t risk them thinking I’m playing favorites. Or that I care more about you than I do them. That would break me.”
Chan looked at you for a long time. Then slowly nodded.
“I get it,” he said softly. “I really do.”
You leaned back into the couch, exhausted by how true it all was.
He adjusted himself and wrapped an arm around you again, pulling you against his side. His touch was gentle, careful, and yet grounding in a way that made something in you unwind.
You leaned into him, resting your head on his chest.
He let out a breath one of those content, heavy sighs that felt like the weight of the entire day had just fallen away.
“I never want to leave your side,” he murmured.
The words hit your chest like something physical.
You blinked slowly, biting the inside of your cheek.
Because part of you wanted to believe that this could last. That he could keep coming over, that he could hold you like this every night, that you could build a world together without worrying about being seen, caught, ruined.
But the truth hung heavy in the room.
You couldn’t have that.
Not openly. Not safely.
So instead, you tucked yourself further into his side, not answering with words just silence, and stillness, and the quiet ache of wishing things were different.
And Chan, always attuned to you, didn’t push.
He just held you a little tighter.
The room got quiet.
The kind of quiet that didn’t demand conversation, where breath and heartbeat filled in the space words used to go. The kind of quiet that happened when two people finally let their guards down, even if only for a little while.
The TV played low in the background. Neither of you were really watching it. It was just there to make the silence less intimidating.
You were curled into Chan’s side under the blanket, your head on his chest, one of your legs slung over his thigh, his hand resting lightly on the curve of your back.
It was so… normal. Terrifyingly normal. Like this could’ve been your third month together, not your first night alone. Like he belonged here, like the warmth of his body against yours wasn’t a stolen luxury but a daily comfort.
He exhaled, fingers brushing up and down your spine. Slow. Absentminded.
You closed your eyes, just for a moment, letting yourself pretend.
Pretend that the world outside this apartment didn’t exist.
Pretend that tomorrow wasn’t waiting with its consequences and lines you weren’t supposed to cross.
You didn’t know how long you lay like that. Time folded in on itself. Minutes passed in quiet.
Until something shifted.
A breath. A heartbeat. A blink too long.
You turned your head slightly to say something, you couldn’t even remember what and your nose brushed against his neck, skin warm and smelling faintly of the cologne he always wore.
He inhaled sharply.
You froze, suddenly aware of how close your mouth was to his collarbone. The way your leg curled around his, the heat of your body pressed into his side. The way his fingers had stopped moving on your back.
You didn’t look at him right away.
But then you felt it.
A hand sliding slowly from your waist to your hip.
Careful. Deliberate. Barely there.
Your breath caught in your throat.
And when you tilted your head just slightly to glance up, Chan was already looking at you.
His eyes were darker than before. Not because of the lighting. Not because he was tired.
Because something had changed.
You opened your mouth to speak, to say his name, to remind him of the risk, the rules, the thousands of reasons why this couldn’t happen, but he leaned in, and suddenly your lips brushed.
Not fully. Not a kiss. Just a pause right there, at the edge of it. Close enough to feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, close enough to taste the moment, but not enough to claim it.
It would’ve been so easy to pull away.
You should’ve pulled away.
But you didn’t.
Your lips found his a second later slower, softer than before. There was no rush this time. No surprise.
Just want.
Just need.
Just the feeling of his mouth moving against yours like he already knew every inch of you, like he’d been starving and this was the first real meal.
He pulled you closer, gently guiding you until you were straddling his lap, knees bracketing his thighs. The blanket had fallen away without either of you noticing.
His hands found your waist, fingers curling slightly at the hem of your shirt. Yours were tangled in his hair, breath growing uneven.
It was still a kiss.
But it was the kind that lingered, the kind that made your skin feel electric and heavy all at once. The kind that teetered on the edge of something else entirely.
And then he whispered your name.
Soft. Reverent.
You kissed him again.
Deeper.
His hands slid up, brushing the bare skin just under your shirt, and your whole body jolted like a current passed through you.
You broke the kiss with a sharp inhale, forehead pressing against his.
“We should stop,” you whispered, voice unsteady.
“I know,” he murmured.
But neither of you moved.
Because stopping felt impossible.
Because stopping meant going back to pretending.
And pretending hurt more than this ever could.
His thumb brushed a slow, deliberate circle against your hip. Your eyes closed.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked, voice hoarse.
The silence between you was thick.
“I don’t know,” you whispered honestly.
He leaned back just enough to see your face, hands never leaving your skin.
His gaze searched yours, slow and careful.
“I’d never push you,” he said gently. “You know that, right?”
“I know.”
“And I’d never ask you to risk more than I’m willing to.”
“I know,” you said again, breath shaky. “It’s not about that.”
His lips quirked into a faint, sad smile.
“It’s about how much we want what we can’t have.”
You nodded, eyes stinging.
He kissed your forehead, slow and lingering.
And you sat there, in the quiet aftermath, bodies tangled, breaths still shallow, hearts too full — and aching.
It wasn’t the moment either of you planned.
But it was real.
And sometimes, real was the most dangerous thing of all.
-
The night blurred into stillness.
Neither of you planned to fall asleep.
Chan had only meant to stay a little longer, one more episode, one more kiss, one more quiet moment where your world didn’t feel like it was crumbling under the weight of rules you didn’t ask for.
But warmth makes you reckless. His arms wrapped around your waist, your face buried in his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat slowing everything inside you until the quiet wasn’t just safe, it was sedative.
The apartment hummed softly around you. The last flickers of the television dancing across the walls. Blankets tangled at your feet. Breath in sync.
And then… morning.
It wasn’t the sun that woke you.
It was the buzz.
Shrill. Relentless.
You groaned before even opening your eyes, your body sore from sleeping half on top of Chan, your neck stiff from the odd angle.
The buzzing didn’t stop.
You blinked blearily, still wrapped in the haze of sleep, and fumbled toward the sound, your work phone, vibrating violently where it had fallen between the couch cushions.
The screen was lit up with several missed calls. One name.
Minji (Team SKZ).
Shit.
You sat bolt upright.
Chan shifted beneath you with a soft groan, rubbing his eyes, his voice thick with sleep. “Mm... What time is it?”
You answered the call before checking.
“Hello—?”
“Y/N, finally,” Minji snapped on the other end. “What’s going on? Did you forget about the group’s call time?”
Your stomach dropped. “What?”
“You’ve got thirty minutes to get to the salon. Are you on your way? And—Have you heard from Chan?”
You stumbled off the couch, eyes darting to the nearest clock. 8:23 AM.
Your breath hitched. “I—uh—what?”
“Jeongin said Chan never came home last night, and he hasn’t been answering his phone. We’ve got fans watching the dorm building already. You’re not with him, are you?”
You froze, throat closing.
“No! I—I mean, I haven’t seen him,” you said too quickly, too high. “I’ll try to call him. I’m leaving now.”
“Good. Please. Just—hurry. The stylist’s already waiting. I’ll see you there.”
The line went dead.
You stood frozen in your living room, your heartbeat hammering in your ears.
Chan was awake now, pushing himself upright on the couch with a soft yawn, hair tousled, eyes puffy from sleep.
“What happened?” he asked groggily.
You turned to him with wide eyes, panic bubbling up in your chest. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
His face shifted immediately, concern chasing the sleep from his expression. “What—what’s going on?”
You were already sprinting toward your bedroom, throwing your closet doors open. “The schedule! We were supposed to be at the salon half an hour ago—Minji’s been calling me nonstop—Jeongin hasn’t heard from you, he doesn’t know where you are, no one does—!”
Chan dragged a hand over his face with a groan. “Fuck.”
“I’m gonna get fired,” you muttered under your breath, yanking on a pair of jeans, fumbling to find a shirt that didn’t smell like sleep or look like guilt.
“I’ll say I had a late night in the studio,” Chan called after you, already standing and stretching in the living room. “I’ll say I crashed there. No one saw me come here.”
You were stuffing your phone and lip balm into your work tote, hair a mess, heart pounding. “What are we supposed to say when we show up at the same time?”
“I’ll leave first.”
“There’s no time—!”
He crossed into the hallway, still shirtless, voice low but firm. “Then we don’t walk in together. I’ll come in ten minutes after you.”
You glanced over at him, your chest rising and falling too fast. He looked so calm. Too calm.
“How can you be so sure no one saw you?” you asked, your voice trembling.
He stepped closer, gently reaching out to hold your arms. “Because I checked. I parked around the corner, I wore a hoodie and a mask. I wasn’t careless, Y/N.”
You swallowed hard, your throat dry. “I told you this would happen. I told you—”
“I know,” he said softly. “And I’m sorry.”
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours, his hands warm on your skin. “We just fell asleep. That’s all.”
You pulled away with a breathless sigh, grabbing your shoes. “That’s never all, Chan. Not for me. Not in this job.”
He watched you quietly, then reached for his shirt on the armrest and tugged it on quickly.
“I’ll say I forgot to charge my phone. That I was in the recording booth until four. I’ll handle it.”
Your hands were shaking as you locked the front door behind him and cracked it open, peeking down the hallway. Clear.
You turned to him, chest aching.
“I can’t lose this job.”
He nodded, his expression soft. “You won’t.”
You hesitated before slipping out the door, and as you turned to leave, he called out, barely above a whisper:
“Hey.”
You paused, heart still racing.
“I’ll be behind you in ten,” he said gently. “You’re not alone in this.”
Your eyes met his. He gave you a small, crooked smile, the one he always used when he was trying to make you feel safe, even when he wasn’t sure he believed it himself.
You didn’t smile back.
You just nodded and walked away.
-
You made it in twenty-two minutes.
The moment you walked into the salon, breathless and still adjusting your staff lanyard around your neck, the air was already buzzing with movement stylists brushing out hair, makeup artists setting up palettes, and half the members in varying states of wakefulness.
You barely had time to drop your bag on the counter before Minji spotted you.
“There you are,” she said sharply, but there wasn’t anger in her voice just relief coated with thinly veiled suspicion. “Rough morning?”
You gave her your most convincing sheepish smile. “I stayed up late finishing a report. Slept through my alarms. I’m so sorry.”
Minji narrowed her eyes slightly but nodded, already distracted by a staff member waving her over. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
You turned quickly, scanning the room.
Jeongin was sitting in a salon chair, scrolling through his phone. Hyunjin was sipping a coffee with one hand while getting his hair trimmed with the other. Seungmin, ever alert, was chatting with one of the stylists and flipping through a printed version of next week’s schedule.
No Chan.
You walked deeper into the room, greeting the boys as you passed, trying not to look too tense, too flushed, too guilty.
Ten minutes passed.
Exactly ten.
And then, the salon door opened.
You looked up before you could stop yourself.
Chan stepped inside, hoodie pulled up halfway, face bare of any makeup, hair messy and somehow still completely unfair.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said quickly, bowing his head slightly to the stylists and managers in the room. “Got out of the studio late. Phone was dead. My bad.”
It was perfect. Effortless.
No one questioned him.
Jeongin looked up from where he was sitting in a styling chair and called out, “You didn’t even bring back snacks. Useless.”
Chan grinned. “You want snacks or you want a hit song?”
You turned away before your expression gave too much away.
You could feel the heat crawling up the back of your neck.
Your phone buzzed in your hand a moment later.
chan: Smile a bit. chan: You look like you wanna kill me. chan: You’re not mad at me, are you?
You bit your lip to hold back the smile. You typed with one hand as you handed off a revised schedule printout with the other.
you: I’m not mad. you: I had fun last night.But it can’t happen again, Chan.
A beat passed.
Your phone lit up again.
chan: Was hoping you wouldn’t say that. chan: Also not gonna make any promises.
You rolled your eyes instinctively, your thumb hovering over the screen, unsure if you wanted to feed into his teasing or shut it down completely.
Before you could decide, a voice pulled you back to earth.
“Hey, Y/N?”
You turned, locking eyes with Seungmin, who was watching you from one of the salon chairs, his bangs clipped back, a stylist halfway through drying his hair.
“Yeah?” you asked, pocketing your phone.
“Quick question about the shoot this weekend. You mentioned we’d be doing a group concept and solo cuts — is that still the plan, or has it changed?”
Right. Work.
You cleared your throat and nodded, walking closer to him, flipping through your notes. “Yeah, still the same plan. But the team did ask if we could get the solos done first since the group shot setup takes more time to prep.”
He nodded slowly, thoughtful. “Got it. I’ll let the others know too.”
“Thanks, Seungmin.”
He gave you a look then something just a little too observant. Not suspicious exactly. Just… perceptive.
But he didn’t say anything else.
You smiled and moved on, your chest tight, your heart still beating a little too fast.
You returned to your work, checking off notes and timings, giving yourself tasks to keep your brain busy. But the entire time, you could feel Chan’s presence behind you as he joked with Hyunjin and let the stylist tug through his curls.
Eventually, another buzz.
You checked when no one was looking.
Chan: you’re cute when you’re all stressed and bossy chan: but for real… last night was worth every second
You swallowed hard, forcing the warmth in your chest to quiet itself.
This couldn’t keep happening.
You knew that.
You weren’t sure what scared you more: that you’d crossed a line last night… or that part of you wanted to cross it again.
Because now you knew what it felt like to fall asleep in his arms.
Now you knew how easily you could wake up next to a disaster and still not regret it.
And that made pretending feel so much heavier.
So much harder.
So much more dangerous.
-
The hours blurred.
You moved through the day like muscle memory, managing the group’s schedule, checking times with stylists, keeping Minji updated via text, coordinating with the photo team for their next destination.
But every time you passed by Chan, it was like there was a quiet string tethering the two of you subtle, invisible, but undeniably there. A pull. A presence.
And he wasn’t helping.
He was being good, technically.
No lingering stares. No obvious touches. No slip-ups that anyone else would catch.
But you noticed everything.
The way his shoulder would brush lightly against yours when you passed each other in the hallway.
The way his fingers lingered a second too long when he handed you his updated schedule notes.
The way his gaze would flick to yours, just for a heartbeat when he thought no one was watching.
You were watching.
You felt every one of those stolen moments like sparks on your skin.
You kept telling yourself you had it under control.
But you didn’t.
Especially not when your phone buzzed again, hours later, while you were seated with the other managers around a planning table at the studio building, coordinating travel details for the next filming site.
chan: Wanna come check the rehearsal room? chan: I need your “professional opinion” 😏
You blinked down at your screen, heat rushing to your cheeks before you shoved the phone facedown on the table, heart stammering.
Minji, seated beside you, glanced over. “Everything okay?”
You cleared your throat, grabbing your pen. “Yeah. Just one of the staff asking a stupid question.”
You didn’t respond to Chan right away. You tried to focus, scribbling down notes as the team discussed ride schedules and meal breaks, but your mind was spinning in ten different directions.
Eventually, after managing to excuse yourself under the guise of needing to check in with the production crew, you finally slipped away and texted him back with only:
you: don’t push your luck.
You told yourself you’d go back to your office, maybe grab coffee, cool down.
But your feet didn’t turn that way.
They led you to the third floor.
To the rehearsal room.
And when you opened the door, you found him alone.
Sitting on the floor against the mirrored wall, legs stretched out, phone in hand, a small Bluetooth speaker playing demo loops softly in the background.
He looked up when he heard the door and smiled not that teasing smirk, but something softer.
Something grateful.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
You closed the door behind you and crossed your arms. “What if someone saw me?”
“I checked. No one’s around this wing right now.”
You sighed, walking further in, avoiding his eyes for a beat. “You’re gonna get me in trouble.”
“Then don’t sit too close,” he said with a wink, patting the spot beside him.
You stared at him for a moment, heart in your throat, then slowly, stupidly lowered yourself to the floor beside him, leaving a safe few inches between your arms.
It felt anything but safe.
You both sat in silence for a moment. The track looped again, something raw, mostly instrumental, probably one of his unfinished demos.
You spoke before you could stop yourself.
“I meant it, you know. About last night.”
He turned his head slightly. “I know.”
“It can’t happen again, Chan. That was a one-time—”
“I know,” he interrupted, his voice quieter this time.
But he didn’t look away.
You did.
There was a long pause.
And then, like he couldn’t help himself, his voice softened again.
“But I can’t stop thinking about it.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to still your pulse.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he added, even softer.
You sighed, leaning your head back against the mirror.
“Why does it feel so easy around you?” you whispered.
“Because it is.”
“It’s not supposed to be.”
“I know.”
The silence hung heavy.
Finally, you turned to look at him again. “You’re going to ruin me.”
His lips twitched into a sad, crooked smile. “Then let me be careful with you.”
That did something to your chest. A sharp, tender pull.
He reached over, slowly, carefully, and let his pinky brush against yours just the smallest touch. Barely there. Just enough to feel.
You didn’t pull away.
Not right away.
But after a few seconds, you stood, brushing your hands on your jeans, needing to breathe again.
“I have to go,” you murmured.
He didn’t ask you to stay.
Just nodded, watching you like you might disappear entirely.
And as you turned toward the door, your phone buzzed again.
chan: you’re my favorite risk.
You didn’t respond.
You couldn’t.
But your fingers hovered over the screen long after the door shut behind you, long after you were gone.
You had both been doing well.
Better than you thought either of you would, actually.
Subtle, quiet, careful.
You had refined the art of looking at each other without looking. Brushing past each other in the hallway without letting your fingers linger too long. You spoke with the same tone, used the same professionalism in front of the others. Nothing to raise suspicion. Nothing to trigger gossip.
To anyone else, nothing had changed.
But to you? Everything had.
There were no more long nights at your place. No more waking up tangled together on your couch, no more secrets too close to discovery. You’d gone back to the quiet intimacy of texts. Late-night calls. Just enough to keep the ache in your chest manageable. Just enough to remember it was real.
You both knew the line you were walking was razor-thin.
But you couldn’t stop walking it.
Not when his voice still dropped to a hush when he said your name.
Not when his messages still made your chest feel too full.
Not when every time he looked at you, really looked, it felt like the world got quieter.
So when your phone buzzed that night, just as the other members were piling into their vans after a long rehearsal, you already knew who it would be before you even looked.
chan: Come to the studio? Just for a little bit. chan: Need a break. And maybe you.
Your heart fluttered uncomfortably. You hadn’t seen him alone in days.
You’d spent the last hour ushering the younger ones into the van, double-checking the schedule for tomorrow. You’d just finished reminding Jeongin to drink water, telling Hyunjin not to stay up too late scrolling fan posts, and wishing Minho a good night to which he only gave you a raised eyebrow and a suspicious grunt before nodding.
When the last member finally left the building, you were left standing there alone with your phone in your hand and his name glowing on the screen.
You told yourself you’d only check on him for a moment. Just to make sure he wasn’t working himself into the ground again. Just to talk. Just a little bit.
You took the elevator up to the familiar floor.
The hallway was quiet, no stray staff, no late-night trainees. Just the low hum of fluorescent lights and your own footsteps against the tile.
You opened the studio door gently, already reaching for the light switch when you spotted him.
Hunched over his laptop, hoodie pulled up, one hand tapping out a slow beat on the desk, the other absently scrolling through project files.
“Of course you’re still here,” you murmured, stepping inside.
Chan looked up immediately, eyes lighting up the way they always did when he saw you.
You closed the door behind you but kept your tone dry. “I just spent half an hour convincing the kids to go home and rest, and now I have to do the same for you?”
He smirked, stretching his arms out with a dramatic sigh. “I’d leave if it meant going back to your place.”
You rolled your eyes, though your heart stuttered.
“Not funny.”
“A little funny.”
You locked the door with a soft click, just in case, before stepping closer.
His chair creaked as he leaned back slightly, rolling it a few inches from the desk. He patted his thighs twice.
“C’mon. I haven’t seen you properly all week.”
“Chan,” you said, warning in your voice. “We’re at the company.”
“The door’s locked,” he said lightly, voice low and coaxing. “Just for a second. Please?”
He was already reaching for you, fingers brushing your wrist.
You knew it was a bad idea. You knew. But when he looked at you like that, warm and boyish and quietly aching it was hard to say no.
So you let yourself fold, just a little.
You stepped into the space between his legs, and he immediately tugged you down into his lap.
“Chan—”
“I missed you,” he murmured, cutting you off with a kiss, short and sweet. Then another. And another. “I’m stuck on this second verse and the melody keeps sounding like garbage. I figured seeing you might help.”
“Oh, so I’m your creative muse now?” you teased, even as your heart thudded.
“You always have been,” he replied, brushing your hair gently behind your ear. “You looked so pretty today, by the way.”
You scoffed, cheeks burning. “I looked like hell.”
“No,” he said simply, leaning in until his nose brushed yours. “You didn’t.”
You didn’t have time to argue.
Because he kissed you then deeper this time, more certain and your hands found the collar of his hoodie before your mind could protest. You melted into him, just for a second. Just one small, dangerous second.
And then..
Click.
The door opened.
You barely had time to pull back before the voices came through.
“Chan, you left your—oh.”
The world froze.
You turned, still perched in his lap, heart stopping in your chest.
Minho stood frozen in the doorway, holding a water bottle. Jisung was half a step behind him, eyes wide, expression caught somewhere between shock and disbelief.
All three of you were completely still.
No one spoke.
No one moved.
It was Minho who finally broke the silence, blinking slowly.
“…Seriously?”
Jisung looked at Chan. Then at you. Then back at Chan.
“Holy shit.”
You stood abruptly, stumbling out of Chan’s lap, heart pounding so loud it drowned everything else out. You could barely form words, lips parting, hands trembling. “I—I—”
Chan stood too, fast, stepping in front of you slightly.
“Guys—listen—”
Jisung raised his hands, eyes still bugged. “Nope. No, no, no, I’m not listening to anything. I need to— I need to go—”
“Jisung—”
“Hyung, are you kidding me?!” His voice cracked a little as he took a step back. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just—?”
“Let’s talk—” Chan said, trying to stay calm, raising his hands. “Please. Just give me a second.”
Minho hadn’t moved. He was still staring at you.
“You,” he said evenly. “You know what happens if anyone else finds out, right?”
Your breath hitched.
Chan stepped closer to them, voice low. “No one’s finding out. It’s just you two. Okay? You saw something you weren’t supposed to, but it stays between us.”
Jisung made a frustrated sound and dragged a hand through his hair. “You can’t seriously expect us to just keep our mouths shut—”
“I’m not expecting anything,” Chan said. “I’m asking.”
Minho finally looked at Chan, jaw tight. “You’re playing with fire.”
“I know.”
“And dragging her into it?”
Chan turned his head slightly, just enough to glance back at you. “I didn’t drag her into anything. We’re in this together.”
That made Minho pause.
He stared at Chan, gaze unreadable. Then at you again. Then he shook his head and turned, walking out.
Jisung hesitated a few seconds longer. “If this blows up…” he said, quieter now, “it won’t just be you who gets hurt.”
And then he followed.
The door clicked shut.
The studio fell silent again.
Chan turned to you slowly.
Your whole body was shaking.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Breathe.”
You stared at the door.
“I told you,” you said, voice barely audible. “I told you this was dangerous.”
“I know.”
Your throat felt tight. “I could lose everything.”
“I know.”
He stepped forward, reaching for you. “But we haven’t yet.”
You didn’t step into his arms.
Not this time.
The silence after the door closed felt like a scream.
It echoed in your chest, rattling around your ribs until it vibrated down to your fingertips. You stood there, frozen, right in the middle of the studio as if you'd forgotten how to move.
Chan stood a few steps away, still watching the door like it might open again, like maybe it hadn’t really happened. Like Minho and Jisung hadn’t just walked in and seen everything.
But it had.
They had.
And the secret you’d both tried so hard to keep just split open, raw and exposed, in a single moment.
“Say something,” Chan murmured, voice low, almost pleading.
You swallowed hard.
Your arms stayed tightly crossed over your chest, body coiled like you were trying to hold it all in the panic, the guilt, the grief.
He took a step closer, slow, gentle. “Please.”
You shook your head.
“Don’t.”
His brows furrowed. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t come near me right now.” Your voice cracked just slightly, but you held your ground.
He froze mid-step. “You’re… mad.”
You laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “I’m terrified, Chan.”
He blinked.
You took a step back.
“I’ve done everything right,” you said, voice shaking. “I worked so hard to get this job. To prove myself. To get the members to trust me. To get the company to trust me.”
“I know you did.”
“Then why the hell would you be so careless?” you snapped.
He flinched.
You didn’t raise your voice. Not really. But the words hit like glass shattering in a quiet room.
“You locked the door,” he said, more defensively than he meant to. “You checked it, you always check it.”
“And somehow they still walked in!” Your voice rose now, louder than you wanted it to. “This, us, this isn’t just risky, Chan. It’s over. If the wrong person finds out, I’m done. I’m not just losing my job, I’m blacklisted. Do you get that? I won’t just lose you, I’ll lose everything.”
He looked stunned for a moment, like he hadn’t fully grasped just how much you were carrying until now.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he whispered.
“That’s the problem. You never mean for this to happen,” you said bitterly. “You just show up. You just say ‘trust me.’ And I do. Every time. I trusted you tonight.”
“I’m sorry.”
You exhaled shakily, a hand rising to your face, pinching the bridge of your nose.
“Please,” he said, voice cracking as he reached toward you again, just gently trying to touch your arm. “Let me—”
You flinched back. “No. Don’t—please don’t touch me right now.”
That stopped him cold.
He dropped his hand, fingers curling into a fist at his side. His chest rose and fell like he was trying to steady his own breathing.
You turned away, blinking rapidly.
It didn’t help. Your eyes were already stinging.
“I’ll talk to them,” he said quietly. “Minho. Jisung. I’ll make sure it doesn’t go beyond tonight.”
You didn’t answer.
“I’ll take the heat if it comes to it. You won’t get dragged into it, I promise. I’ll say it was all me—”
“You can’t promise that,” you snapped, your voice thin and tight now, broken at the edges. “You don’t control what they say. What the company does. You don’t control any of this.”
Silence again.
He took a breath like he wanted to argue. Like he wanted to say I’ll fix this. But the words never came.
You rubbed your face, trying to stop the tears from falling, but it was already too late. They burned quietly down your cheeks, slow and bitter.
You didn’t sob. Didn’t make a sound.
You just cried, quietly, like you were grieving something you hadn’t even had the chance to fully hold.
Chan stepped forward again. “Please… let me at least—”
“No,” you whispered, stepping back toward the door.
His face fell.
“I just…” you swallowed the knot in your throat. “I need to be alone right now. Okay?”
His shoulders slumped.
He looked like he wanted to argue, but didn’t.
He just nodded.
“Okay,” he said, barely audible.
You hesitated by the door, hand on the knob.
You could feel him behind you, unmoving, hurting, quiet.
And you wanted so badly to turn around. To run back into his arms and pretend this could still be easy. That it could still work.
But you couldn’t afford to be selfish anymore.
So, you left.
And for the first time in weeks, you didn’t look back.
-
It had only been a day.
Just twenty-four hours.
But it felt like a week.
You didn’t answer his call that night. The one you usually answered on the first ring, tucked into bed, lights off, whispering soft hellos and I miss yous while the world slept around you. You didn’t even let it ring long enough for voicemail. You just stared at the screen until it stopped.
You didn’t answer his morning text either.
He kept it simple.
chan: Good morning. Hope you’re feeling a little better. I love you.
You’d read it. Several times. But didn’t respond.
At work, you avoided looking at him.
It wasn’t even dramatic or obvious. You knew better than to be sloppy. You just… didn’t look his way. When he passed by you in the hallway, you kept your eyes on your clipboard. When you walked into the studio, you greeted everyone except him, softly enough that no one would notice the omission.
And it killed you.
Because he noticed.
He noticed everything.
But he didn’t push. Not at first. He gave you space.
Until he couldn’t anymore.
It was just after lunch when it happened. You were walking down the hallway outside one of the practice rooms, balancing your tablet and your phone in one hand, trying to multitask, when his hand caught your elbow gently, stopping you in your tracks.
You blinked, startled, finally looking up at him for the first time that day.
His expression wasn’t angry. It wasn’t even frustrated. Just… worn down. Sad.
“How long are you planning to keep giving me the silent treatment?” he asked quietly.
You looked away again. “I’m not.”
He scoffed gently. “You literally haven’t looked at me since yesterday.”
You shifted uncomfortably, trying to step away, but his hand didn’t let go.
“Don’t do that,” he said, voice low. “Don’t shut me out.”
You sighed, finally meeting his eyes, though your gaze dropped again quickly. “I just… I don’t feel like talking.”
“Not even to me?”
That hurt.
You knew it did, because you could hear it in his voice.
He let out a slow breath. “I talked to Minho and Jisung,” he said carefully. “I figured you’d want to know.”
You blinked. Slowly.
He kept going. “I explained everything. How long we’ve been together, when it started. I didn’t give them… too many details or anything. But I told them enough that they understood it wasn’t just… some fling or something reckless.”
You looked up sharply, breath catching in your throat.
“You told them?”
“They already knew something was going on,” he said softly. “But yeah. I told them.”
Your heart skipped. Your stomach sank.
“Chan…”
“I know you probably didn’t want them to know, but… they deserve to know the truth. If they’re gonna protect us.”
“Protect us?”
He nodded. “They promised they won’t say anything. They were just shocked last night, that’s all. Jisung was just being dramatic. Minho’s already moved on, he teased me for like ten minutes straight, and then went back to scolding Seungmin about eating too fast.”
You blinked again, trying to make sense of it.
“They’re not mad?” you asked quietly.
He shook his head. “Not even a little. Minho actually said he could tell something was going on. That I started being… happier. Lighter. He just didn’t want to assume.”
A small, tentative smile tugged at the corner of your lips before you could stop it.
Chan noticed. And his shoulders relaxed just a little.
You looked down again, ashamed. “I’m sorry. I… I know I was exaggerating. I just—”
“You weren’t,” he said firmly. “You had every right to be upset. You were scared. And I should’ve been more careful.”
You looked up at him.
He offered a soft, tired smile one that told you he still felt the weight of it all, even if the crisis had passed.
“I won’t put you in that position again,” he said. “No more PDA. No more kissing in the company building. We’ll be more careful. I promise.”
You nodded slowly, grateful. “That would help.”
His thumb brushed lightly over your knuckles.
This time, you didn’t pull away.
The quiet between you shifted, no longer sharp or heavy, but calm. Healing.
“I missed you,” he said, so quietly it almost wasn’t there.
Your heart clenched.
You looked up at him, and finally, finally let yourself whisper back:
“I missed you too.”
The air between you and Chan had just started to settle into something like peace when the sound of footsteps echoed down the hall. At first, you thought nothing of it, lost in the quiet stillness of the moment, when suddenly —
“Ughhhhh!”
A loud, exaggerated noise echoed from just outside the lounge. You and Chan immediately stiffened at the sound, and before either of you could move or even process what was happening, Jisung’s voice rang out with a dramatic groan.
“GAG! I’m gonna be sick,” Jisung’s voice teased, coming closer with every step. “I can’t believe I’m witnessing this.”
You looked up just in time to see Jisung and Minho casually strolling past the open door. Their expressions were a mix of mischief and curiosity, but it was Jisung who couldn’t help but put on a theatrical display.
“Chan,” Jisung said with a wicked grin, looking you and Chan up and down. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
Minho, always the quieter one, raised a brow but still couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “Someone’s in love.”
The teasing tone was unmistakable, and you could feel your face flush instantly, even though you’d been trying to maintain some sense of control over the conversation. But Jisung was relentless.
“Look at you, Chan,” he said, placing a hand dramatically over his heart, still in his best dramatic fashion. “Totally whipped.” Then he made a gagging noise again, scrunching his nose like he couldn’t stand it, before making a show of nearly falling to the floor. “I’m honestly so disappointed in you.”
Chan let out a frustrated but good-natured groan, raising a hand to swipe through his messy hair. “Stop it, Jisung. This is not funny.”
You couldn’t help it, a small chuckle escaped your lips, even though you were still holding onto the tension from your earlier conversation. Jisung’s energy was like a jolt of electricity that snapped you back into the present. You glanced over at Chan, who was now trying his best to play it cool, but his flushed cheeks told another story.
Minho leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms and giving you an exaggerated once-over before smirking. “You’re just gonna let him get away with this?” he teased you.
You opened your mouth, ready to defend yourself, but it was Chan who stepped in before you could say anything.
“No,” Chan said, raising his hands in a playful surrender. “Okay, fine. I admit it. I’m head over heels for her. Happy now?” He threw a look at Jisung, shaking his head. “Are you done?”
“Oh my God,” Jisung groaned again, dramatically putting his hands over his ears. “Please, no more. It’s too much for me. I can’t deal with this level of sweetness.”
Minho just chuckled quietly, stepping in closer to Chan, and lightly nudged him with his shoulder. “So, does this mean we get to expect you to bring her over for dinner next time? Or would that be too much for you two lovebirds?”
At this, you couldn’t help but look away, trying to hide the way your lips curled into a small smile. The teasing was making you uncomfortable, sure, but it was also comforting. The awkwardness of the past few days felt like it was starting to ease. The members were still your friends. And even though things were complicated now, they were trying to bring some normalcy back to the situation albeit through their own form of very public teasing.
But even so, the fact that Minho and Jisung had no filter when it came to the two of you made your heart race, your thoughts swirling for a moment.
"Hey, hey!" Chan shot back, laughing now as he swiped a hand through the air in a dismissive gesture. "I don't need you guys adding more fuel to the fire. Seriously. If anyone’s getting embarrassed, it’s me."
“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you act all romantic in front of us, Chan,” Minho said, giving him a playful nudge. “I’m sorry to say it, but you walked right into this one.”
You raised an eyebrow at Minho. “I’m pretty sure the only one who’s walking into anything here is you,” you said, glancing at him with a small smirk. “You and Jisung are practically eavesdropping from the hallway.”
Minho shrugged nonchalantly, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. “We weren’t eavesdropping. We were just ‘passing by.’” He made air quotes with his fingers, making sure to emphasize the last part. “But now that we’ve accidentally overheard all of this... we might as well join in the fun.”
Jisung nodded with exaggerated enthusiasm. “Totally! It’s not every day we get to see our manager and our leader act all lovey-dovey. Just don’t do this during work hours, okay? Keep the romance for when we’re all asleep.”
“Please, for the sake of my sanity,” Minho added, deadpan, but his eyes were still sparkling with humor.
You let out a soft sigh and looked back at Chan, who was now rubbing his temple as if he couldn’t believe he was being put through this. He shot you a small, apologetic look before speaking up again.
“I promise, no more PDA. No more acting like a lovestruck idiot at work,” Chan said, glancing at Minho and Jisung with a rueful smile. “Can you two stop now? Seriously. I don’t think I can take another round of this.”
Jisung gave a dramatic sigh of defeat but then grinned broadly. “Fine. Fine. I’ll let you off the hook. For now.”
Minho, however, wasn’t ready to let go of this new bit of entertainment just yet. He took a step closer to you, giving you a playful grin. “But if we catch you two sneaking around again, we’ll have to start charging you for the romance.”
“Minho!” Chan groaned, clearly embarrassed by the constant back-and-forth. “That’s enough, alright?”
You couldn’t help but laugh softly, despite yourself.
“Alright, alright,” Minho said with a final chuckle, clearly satisfied with the reaction. “We’ll lay off. But just know that this will be on the record for future reference.”
Jisung piped in, grinning ear to ear. “I think you’ve officially ruined Chan’s reputation as ‘the cold leader.’”
Chan could only groan in response.
And even though things were far from normal, even though there were still rules in place that felt like invisible chains binding you both, there was something about this moment, the shared laughter, the teasing that helped take the edge off.
For the first time in days, it felt like you could breathe again.
“Well, I’m glad you two are done,” you said, giving Chan a small, reassuring smile. “But just so you know, I’m still holding you to that promise.”
He smirked, holding his hands up in surrender. “I swear. No more PDA. I’ve learned my lesson.”
You nodded, still feeling a bit self-conscious, but also a little lighter. “Good. Let’s keep it that way, alright?”
“Deal,” Chan agreed.
And even though the situation was still complicated and there was a long road ahead before you could truly move past the tension and the fear of being found out, at least here, in this little moment of teasing and laughter, you knew things weren’t falling apart. Not yet.
And maybe that was enough for now.
Nine months.
That’s how long it had been.
Nine months of tightrope walking, late-night video calls, quiet check-ins, subtle glances across busy rooms, and the rare moment of stolen closeness when nobody was looking. You and Chan had become experts in silence in navigating your relationship in the negative space, in all the words unsaid and all the touches withheld.
You were proud of how careful you’d been.
No one knew. At least, no one important. The company was still in the dark. The rest of the members, save for Minho and Jisung hadn’t said a word, which meant if they had noticed anything, they were gracious enough to pretend otherwise. But truthfully, you didn’t think they had. You’d mastered the art of distance. You’d trained your expression to stay neutral even when your heart leapt every time Chan smiled at you from across the room.
Like now.
The shoot had started early, the crew setting up lights and equipment while the members rotated through solo scenes. Chan had been glued to his laptop for the last two hours, reviewing files with some of the members, occasionally mumbling notes to himself and typing in a frenzy. He looked good, though. Unfairly good. Hair styled to perfection, skin practically glowing under the set lights, wearing black ripped jeans and a thin white shirt under a jacket he’d already stripped off due to the heat in the room.
You tried not to look too often.
Instead, you stood at the far side of the set, sipping from your water bottle and scanning the call sheet. Your job was to make sure the day moved smoothly. You weren’t here to get distracted. Not by him. Not today.
A group of staff stood near you, casually chatting as they waited for the next camera setup. You weren’t paying attention until someone said your name.
“Hey,” one of the stylists said brightly, nudging you gently on the arm. “Can I ask you something?”
You turned with a polite smile, eyebrows raised. “Sure?”
“Are you seeing anyone?” she asked, almost too casually. “Like, do you have a boyfriend or a partner or…?”
You choked.
Literally choked.
Water hit the back of your throat wrong and you had to cough hard to recover, eyes going wide in panic as you tried to wave off the reaction and clear your throat at the same time.
The stylist laughed. “Oh my God, I didn’t mean to scare you!”
You smiled, tight and polite, trying to calm the pounding in your chest. Your brain screamed: don’t look at Chan, don’t look at Chan, don’t—
But you could feel his eyes on you.
Not just his.
Minho. Jisung.
They were sitting on the floor nearby, sharing a phone between them and clearly listening. Minho’s eyebrows lifted, amused. Jisung stifled a laugh, burying his face into his sleeve to hide it.
You forced a small laugh and shook your head quickly, too quickly. “No, I’m not seeing anyone,” you said, voice neutral, careful.
And then, as if that weren’t bad enough, the stylist lit up. “Really? That’s perfect then.”
Your heart dropped.
She leaned in just a little, her voice excited and conspiratorial. “Because I have this friend — he’s in the industry too, works behind the scenes like you. Super sweet. Gentleman. Hardworking. Quiet. You two would totally hit it off.”
“Oh,” you said, immediately waving your hand, panic bubbling beneath your skin. “That’s sweet of you, but I’m really not looking for anything right now—”
“Oh, come on,” one of the other staff said, grinning. “It’s not like you have to marry the guy. Just one date! You deserve to have fun.”
“Right!” the stylist added. “Plus, if you start seeing someone, you could bring him to the company dinners. It’d be so cute! We never get to see you with someone.”
You felt like you couldn’t breathe.
You weren’t even fully aware of your surroundings anymore. Not until you heard the quiet snort from Jisung’s direction, a sound barely masked by a cough and Minho’s low, whispered “Damn, Chan’s gonna implode.”
You didn’t dare look at Chan. But you knew exactly what his face looked like. His expression would be a careful mask, perfectly composed, but his eyes would give him away. They always did. That unreadable stillness he wore when he was holding himself back. Jaw tight. Hands flexing.
You swallowed hard.
“I really appreciate it,” you said, finally mustering your voice. “But I’m just… not in the right headspace for dating right now. Work’s been a lot.”
There. That was safe. That was believable.
The staff shrugged, brushing it off easily enough. “Fair enough. Let me know if you change your mind.”
You smiled through it. Somehow. And they returned to their conversation, none the wiser.
But the damage had already been done.
You made the mistake of glancing toward Chan just once. Just for a second.
His gaze was on you like a storm not angry, not outwardly upset, just watching. Like he wanted so badly to say something but knew he couldn’t. Like he hated every second of being invisible in this part of your life. Like he was wondering how many more times he’d have to sit there, silent, while someone else tried to offer his place to someone else.
You broke eye contact first.
The rest of the shoot passed in a blur. You did your job like always, but your thoughts were scrambled, heart still beating unevenly, stomach twisted in guilt. You hadn’t done anything wrong, not technically. You couldn’t exactly say “Actually, I have a boyfriend and he’s sitting fifteen feet away from us and he’s also your boss.”
But it still felt like you’d betrayed something.
The silence between you and Chan stretched painfully through the rest of the day. No more glances. No texts. Not even a nod in your direction. He wasn’t mad, you knew that, but he was hurt. That made it worse.
By the time the shoot wrapped, you were exhausted. Emotionally and physically.
As the members filtered out, Minho walked past you with a smirk and no remorse whatsoever. “Tell your nonexistent-boyfriend to walk faster next time. He looked like he was trying not to explode.”
You gave him a weak glare. “Don’t start.”
Jisung passed next, dramatically fanning himself. “Phew. Can’t believe I survived that level of secondhand tension.”
“You’re both fired,” you muttered.
“Can’t fire people who don’t technically work under you,” Jisung sang, winking, before disappearing around the corner.
You sighed.
You stayed behind longer than usual. You needed a minute to breathe, to shake off the humiliation of being offered to someone else like you were available. Like you were alone.
It was late now.
The shoot had wrapped over an hour ago. The crew had packed up and headed out. The members, tired and starving had piled into the van, barely awake, with their stylists and secondary managers corralling them like sleepy kids after a field trip.
You had stayed behind.
So had Chan.
You told yourself it was coincidental. You were just helping collect the leftover clipboards, charging cords, call sheets, discarded water bottles. He was organizing a few things with the director. Nothing unusual.
Except it was.
Because you hadn’t spoken more than a few words to him all day. And now, you were alone in the space that had felt claustrophobic all day, picking up trash to buy yourself more time.
You didn’t look at him as you walked toward the table he was hunched over, packing his laptop. You could hear the faint squeak of his chair, the shuffle of his hoodie sleeves brushing the edge of the table. The silence stretched thin between you.
And then, his voice broke it.
Quiet. Measured. But laced with something you couldn’t quite name.
“So…” he said without looking at you. “You don’t have a boyfriend?”
Your body stilled.
Your hands froze mid-reach toward a clipboard, and when you turned to look at him, he was already looking at you.
There was no teasing smile this time. No playful glint in his eyes. Just stillness, the kind that came from holding too many emotions at once and trying not to let any of them spill out.
Your heart thudded.
You swallowed. “Chan—”
“It’s a fair question,” he said, eyes still locked on yours. “You said no. When they asked. Without hesitation.”
Your throat felt dry. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice.”
“That’s not fair,” you snapped, a little sharper than you meant to. “You know why I said no. You know what would’ve happened if I said yes in front of them.”
He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, expression unreadable. “You could’ve said you were seeing someone. You didn’t have to say you weren’t.”
“I panicked!” you said, louder now, the empty room making your voice echo slightly. “I was cornered, Chan. What was I supposed to say? ‘Yeah, I’m dating someone, but he’s sitting right over there pretending not to be in love with me because if anyone finds out I could lose my job’?”
His jaw clenched, and for a second, neither of you said anything.
The silence settled again, heavier this time. But not cold. Just… pained.
You sank down into one of the chairs across from him, exhausted. “I hate this.”
His voice was quieter when he responded. “I know.”
“It’s just… you have no idea what it feels like. To have people talk about me like I’m free. Like I’m up for grabs. Like I’m alone. And I can’t even say you’re mine. I can’t say anything.”
Chan leaned forward now, resting his elbows on the table, hands folded loosely. “Do you think it doesn’t kill me too? Sitting there and watching them try to set you up with someone?”
You looked down at the table, ashamed. “I wasn’t going to let them set me up.”
“I know,” he said quickly. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just… It was hard to watch.”
You looked up at him slowly. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You didn’t,” he said. Then paused. “Not on purpose.”
You looked at each other for a moment too long. And you knew he didn’t mean to say it like that, not to guilt you. But it stung anyway.
Your fingers nervously tapped the edge of the table. “I should’ve said something more neutral. That I wasn’t dating but wasn’t interested. I just… froze. I didn’t know what to say without raising suspicion.”
“I get it,” he said again, softer this time. “I promise. I just hated how it felt. Watching you deny me. Watching you have to.”
You nodded slowly.
“I’ve been thinking about it all day,” he said. “It’s been eating me alive.”
“I know,” you murmured.
“I wasn’t mad at you,” he added. “But I was… scared.”
That made your heart pause.
“Scared of what?” you whispered.
“That this is too hard for you. That maybe you’ll get tired of all the hiding. And one day, someone will offer you an easier love, and you’ll say yes.”
Your breath hitched.
You stood then slow, purposeful and walked around the table until you were standing in front of him. He looked up at you, vulnerable in a way that twisted your chest.
You reached out and took his hand, lacing your fingers through his gently.
“I don’t want an easier love,” you said quietly. “I want this one. Even when it’s hard.”
Chan’s eyes softened. He pulled your hand to his chest, right over his heart.
You could feel it. Beating fast.
“I’m sorry I acted weird all day,” you told him. “I was scared to face you. I thought maybe you were done.”
“I’m never done with you,” he said immediately.
He stood slowly, closing the distance between you, and you let yourself rest your forehead against his chest.
“I’ll try to be braver next time,” you whispered.
“No,” he said, wrapping his arms around you gently. “You’re already so brave. Braver than me, sometimes.”
You stayed like that, wrapped up in silence, in the quiet ache of what you couldn’t have not fully, not publicly, but also in the warmth of what you did have.
Each other.
Even if the rest of the world couldn’t know yet.
Chan kissed the top of your head, and you clung to him a little tighter.
“I do have a boyfriend,” you mumbled.
He smiled against your hair.
“Yeah?” he whispered.
“Yeah,” you said. “He’s annoying. Bossy. Overworks himself too much.”
Chan laughed softly.
“But he’s mine,” you added. “Even if I can’t always say it out loud.”
He leaned back just enough to look at you. His voice was low, filled with something warm and aching.
“I’m yours,” he said. “No matter how quiet I have to be about it.”
-
You’d been careful. More than careful. For months, you and Chan moved like shadows never too close, never too obvious, always watching yourselves through someone else’s eyes.
You told yourselves it was working.
And maybe it was.
But even secrets that are well-kept start to rot under too much pressure.
It began with a scheduling change.
One that should’ve meant nothing. Just a last-minute reshuffle of who was in charge of what, and when. You’d been pulled off the next overseas trip with the boys. Something you were normally in charge of. No explanation. Just a polite, tight-lipped reassignment.
You tried not to overthink it.
But the knot in your stomach didn’t loosen for days.
Then came the little things. Things you didn’t notice until they became patterns.
A new coordinator started being added to meetings you used to run alone. A supervisor shadowed you through three entire rehearsals under the excuse of “cross-departmental training.” Someone from HR casually dropped by with an iced coffee and an odd number of questions about your general “satisfaction” with your job.
And still, you told yourself it was nothing. Paranoia. Nerves.
But then—
“They’re watching you.”
The words came from Minho.
You were standing by the catering table after a long day of filming, pouring a cup of coffee you didn’t even want, just for the excuse to get a moment alone.
Minho appeared beside you like a shadow, grabbing a snack with no expression.
“They?” you asked quietly, your heart already sinking.
He didn’t look at you. Just nodded slightly in the direction of the hallway.
“Manager-nim from 2nd Floor has been walking by every time you and Chan are in the same room. You haven’t noticed?”
You shook your head, throat tightening.
“I thought she was just—”
“No,” Minho said, turning slightly to face you now. “She’s checking. Someone’s put eyes on you.”
You swallowed hard, suddenly nauseous. “Do you think they know?”
“I think someone suspects,” he said plainly. “And they’re waiting for you two to mess up.”
The cup in your hands trembled slightly. You set it down before anyone noticed.
“I’ll talk to him,” you said quietly.
Minho nodded once. His tone softened. “Be careful, Y/N.”
You nodded back. “I always am.”
But were you?
Minho’s words echoed in your mind everywhere you went.
“They’re watching you.”
But you never told Chan. Because if you did, you knew exactly what he’d do. He’d act. And maybe you didn’t want that.
Maybe you just needed time to think, to process, to figure out what the hell you were going to do with this situation that felt like it was folding in on itself. You didn’t want to see him angry. You didn’t want to see him hurt. And most of all, you didn’t want to see the look on his face if he realized this thing you both had worked so hard to protect might not be survivable.
So, instead of telling him, you just texted:
“Can you come over? I need to talk.”
You didn't expect him to answer so quickly.
Usually, it took back-and-forth negotiation. His schedule, the risk, the thousand variables he had to juggle just to get an hour with you outside of work. But not tonight.
He replied within seconds.
“Be there in 20.”
He was earlier than that.
And you knew why.
Because you never invited him. Not first. Not like this.
When he showed up at your door, he had that crooked, careful smile the one he always wore when he was doing something he knew he shouldn’t. A mischievous little glint in his eyes like a teenager sneaking into his girlfriend’s room past curfew.
“I was careful,” he said softly when you opened the door. “No one saw me.”
You nodded quietly, eyes not quite meeting his. You stepped aside to let him in, heart already threatening to beat out of your chest.
He didn’t walk far. Just a few steps in before turning to you again, brows furrowed with concern.
“Okay,” he said gently, searching your face. “What’s going on?”
You tried to brush past him toward the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink? Tea? Coffee?”
His hand reached out, firm but not rough, catching your wrist before you could move away.
“I don’t want anything,” he said, voice harder now. “I want to know what’s going on with you. You’ve been… weird. Distant.”
You didn’t answer. Your heart was in your throat.
He waited. Still holding your wrist. Still watching you.
“Talk to me,” he said, a little softer. “Please.”
And that was the moment.
The one where the dam broke.
Your lip trembled before the words could even make it out of your mouth.
“I think…” you said, barely above a whisper. “I think we should break up.”
//
masterlist.
a/n: sorry for the cliffhanger.. it’s finished and will be posted! tumblr is just stupid rn and won’t let me post the entire thing. i wanted it to be one long fic 🙄.
[official taglist: @alisonyus @lenfilms @captainchrisstan @anastasiiiiaaaaa @emilyywhyy @ready2readnwrite @nyxaluna lmk if you’d like to be added/removed 😙 ..]
ok normal ig
ok if I try regular what does it look like
why is my text so little no way tumblr this wasn’t regular size back in my day I got bad eyes wtd
Someone posted it in the notes, but I'm adding it to the main post:
UK based potter making functional pottery and DigniTEA Mugs
because the artist deserves credit!




