Met an old teacher today and we got talking aboutĀ āthe good old timesā and ten minutes into the conversation I jokingly said the one regret I have from middle school is that I never won anything at her magnificent tombolas? Because, like, she used to hold this game about once a month so weād learn the numbers in French and it was never big prizes, but as a 12-yo I desperately craved them - a cactus-shaped eraser, a bright blue notebook with slightly larger-than-usual squares, a set of coloured pens - and never ever got a single one of them.Ā
(Actually spent a good few months thinking I was genetically unlucky and researching ancient family curses with my grandma.)Ā
So today I donāt know what I was hoping for - nothing, really?
(I mean, that part of me thatās still twelve was probably expecting this sweet old woman to have a set of glitter stickers in her purse and just goĀ āYou know what, youāre right - Iāve been saving this one for you all these years, here you goā but Iām a solidly rational person and I know thatās stupid.)
No, I thought weād just laugh and it would be a good shared memory and that would be it. Instead, my teacher got flustered and a bit embarrassed and explained the game was rigged. It was never about learning French at all. Sheād just noticed some kids couldnāt afford even basic stationery, so sheād buy a few half-fancy items every month with her own money just for them. She didnāt want them to feel different or left out. And obviously the way she used to walk around in the classroom, looking over our shoulders - it wasnāt to prevent cheating. It was because she was cheating herself, wanting to see which number a particular child needed to get a Minnie Mouse pencil case.
Guys - the world is fucked up, but so many people out there are just good and kind and humbly heroic it honestly gives me hope.Ā
Itāll be alright, youāll see.
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