@monochromaticblack - Tumblr Blog

If you could give a younger sibling tips for choosing friends, what would you advise?

my younger sibling is actually the shitty friend so

Um I'd like to know both. Your personal opinion and whether it is countercultural or not

I don’t think it’s strange, and I guess it’s countercultural but most people don’t have “serious” relationship experience until their mid 20s anyways. they just have relationship experience.

Do you think it's strange to be 23 and have no serious relationship experience? I told someone that I was considering dating that I had never been in a serious relationship and that I was a virgin and they were like "well, you might as well just get it over with right now." I dipped. I want to be with someone who doesn't really care about that, but it can get so frustrating.

are you asking for my personal opinion or are you asking me to confirm whether or not it’s countercultural. if someone can’t give you what you want then yes, dip. it’s always going to be frustrating advocating for yourself lol. youre good.

How do you help the people that you provide therapy, who dwell on their past behaviors and feel a lot of guilt and shame because of it, cope?

I don’t practice therapy. Depends on what the past behavior is. Coping isn’t really a healthy way to live, wouldn’t advise it. There are alternate ways to engage the residual effects of past behavior(s).

How does a person make peace with their past?

Depends on understanding what happened in their past, how it’s affecting their present, and how they anticipate it impacting their future. Must have intentional, thoughtful conversations with self about all three.

Do you ever feel consumed by regret? I feel this way a lot when I think of the mistakes that i've made in the past.

I do have regrets here and there but I never feel consumed by them. I’d recommend reading, or at least taking a look at, “The Rise: Creativity, the Gift of Failure, and the Search for Mastery” by Sarah Lewis. It might be helpful.

how do you navigate relationships with people who put you up higher on the friend meter? than you put them?

why did you break up your question like that? this happens to me a lot, first of all do you know me in person... second of all it’s tricky to navigate because people get emotional about levels of intimacy. I try to be honest about how I view them and why. some take offense and that’s usually a sign that we’re not supposed to be that close anyways. maybe that approach is flawed but it’s worked thus far.

I’m sorry if you’ve suffered at the hands of white people, I really am. But if you have a relationship with God, then God teaches forgiveness and acceptance. Jesus sat with the outlaws, with the despised and the broken. He preached love, despite all the hatred towards him. Unconditional. I’m a white person and I found some of your posts really encouraging. But I’m deemed unable to follow you, not because of my heart or personality, but because of my skin. Would Jesus approve?

um, I’m not Jesus. I hate this guilt trip shit white people try to do. I’m not going to expound. thanks.

monochromaticblack

whenever someone starts a post off with “I bet no one’s going to read this…” I softly whisper to myself “you’re right” and continue scrolling.

do you think it's petty to delete people from facebook that I no longer speak to? I spoke to someone who said that they think it's unnecessary because they feel like it's good to have "acquaintances" and they said "you never know if you'll need that person in the future."

I delete people from Facebook that I do speak to. It’s weird that people equate online connections to the existence of a relationship in its entirety. It should only be seen for what it is, just an aspect of a relationship. You can have an acquaintance that you’re not connected to online. And if they cut you off because you deleted them you probably don’t want to be in a position where you need that kind of person in the future anyways.

What advice you give to someone going through an existential crisis?

I wouldn’t

can you share some ways in how you love yourself? I think I lack self-love and I'm struggling to define it and practice it.

there are so many questions I would have to ask to find out why you don’t love yourself before I could offer you a response of substance

If you don't talk to anyone from high school or college, do you have friends then?

I do. Life exists beyond school.

have you ever had an existential crisis? if so how did you handle it?

mm not a major one, I think everyone at a moment in time questions the meaning of their existence. and I’m assuming you’re the same person who sent the other question, I don’t have advice for you because I don’t know anything about you. all I’d have to offer is generic psychobabble and who has time for that.

I meant when you cant see, taste, smell, hear God, etc... like how do you know that the presence of God is real in your life

you can’t see, taste, smell, or hear hope either but you know that it’s real. the same is true for anything that manifests itself beyond tangibles. a relationship with God is a personal journey so what is true for me probably won’t be true for you. I see God in a multitude of ways, most of which have nothing to do with church, a pastor, or the bible. honestly I don’t even go to church anymore.

this website is truly unrecognizable to me. I don’t know who none of you new niggas are. I remember when I had community on here, it was insightful, messy, and entertaining. I really like the person I’ve become. I hope the same for you all.

Hi i really like your text posts and i was reading the one where you wrote about a preacher that you liked preaching really basic shit. And i wanted to ask.you what you.meant whenyou said the presence of God was real in your life? How do you know that God's presence is real when.you cant perceive God?

I honestly don’t remember what I wrote, that was probably over 4 years ago but what do you mean I can’t perceive God? I don’t think I said that.

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