Happy anniversary, my one and only love. It felt just like yesterday when we met for the first time. I still find it very weird and disturbing to have a werecat crawling towards me, but not in a bad way. I remember how I would hyperventilate and play dead whenever you come too close because that's exactly how I feel; you are so adorable and sweet that you could actually be the death of me. If I have a weak heart, I probably would have suffered multiple heart attacks and actually die right there and then.
Do you remember those sweet kisses? I've always thought you were the one initiating it but then I remembered that I was feeling particularly playful that one day and gave you a light peck. It was a good thing I did that because that little peck led to plenty of cute kisses and I still hyperventilate whenever I think about it. I can't exactly tell when I started falling for you but I did. All I know is you were the only person who kept coming back to spend some time talking to me and eventually, you were the only one I talked to.
I couldn't describe how bad I feel when I found out I bit you for the first time. I hadn't been myself at that time and I... attacked you. A sane person would have run away and never return but you keep on coming back. It made me wonder what you see in me because I'm no one special and I'm constantly moody. But I'm eternally grateful that you never left my side and you're the reason why I'm still here today.
Where there's laughter, there's bound to be tears. We rarely fight but when we do, it was never simple. I've hurt you in countless ways and I almost lost you several times but you, being the kind-hearted one between the two of us, kept forgiving me and giving me another chance even though I feel unworthy of it. I am not the nicest person on Earth but you bear with me and my insecurities. It takes a really strong person to do that and that's what you are.
You'll always be my rock, the one I can always depend on and the one who makes me stronger with every step I take. I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved you and I really don't want anyone else. Remember how we both cried when you proposed? That was one of the most beautiful moments of my life and I have you to thank for it. So right now, I would like to propose to you too. Will you spend the rest of eternity with me? I swear I'll figure out a way so you don't have to worry about this part. As long as I have you with me, nothing can ever break me and I promise that I would try my very best to be a better person for you.
I love you, Yamada Ryosuke. I really do. Happy anniversary, my love.
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I'm here writing this to you because we apparently reached another important step into the wonderful story of our love, a lovely and not exactly simple story we kept on building up together, piece by piece, brick by brick, through all these months.
When I started rough out some drafts for this it was so early that I wasn't even that sure we could reach this moment; you know, we constantly see couples breaking up every day all around us that having you to myself for more than few weeks sounded already a miracle to me, figure one year. Yeah, one year, because that's exactly how long we have been together. Could you believe it? I know, I can imagine your expression right now - I don't either baby, I really don't. It felt more like a single breath to get from then to today because I still feel every single emotion as strong as I felt it back then, powerful, intense, uncontrollable and extremely overwhelming.
I think it's useless to retrace every step that brought us together - even more after you did it so perfectly - because we already enjoy running back though them again and again from time to time, so we perfectly know how it went. I would like to focus more on the feelings and sensations I can clearly remember from that day because they are still imprinted in my head and in my heart.
If I close my eyes I see a floor, a wooden one, not even that neat because I remember I noticed some small dust balls flying here and there that I had to try hard to repress my feline desire to play with them - so it was surely my appartaments floor. If I look better I can also see two figures lying on in, two figures - a female and a male one - holding onto each others with a brand new kind of confidence for them; they had been getting closer, abandoned on that floor, at first to play - like they used to, maybe everything sarted with her playing dead or him crawling to her - then someone, I can't remember who did that time, had probably took a step forward and things got different. Their lips were like burning embers stoking at each other every instant they got in contact - they had been kissing already but not like this, their breaths were mixing for real for the first time, the attraction was evident even if too timid to be shown through the small and insecure jestures of each other. He decided to be brave, for once, and test the fortune by going forward; the fear of a rejection was making his blood pulse into his ears as a huge lump formed into his throat before he ventured lower, down her neck, letting his sheepish lips explore the softess of his muse's cleavage, a small spot of skin he could reach from the first two undone buttons of her blouse. A strong and warm femenine scent, mixed to a floral perfume and to the soft smell of her fresh lingerie coming from down there, directly from that partly hidden hollow blinded all of his senses for few instants and he needed to breathe it all in to fill his lungs with it and save a good memory of it in case that was the first and last time he got the change to be so close to her. On contrary he didn't seem to disapprove and that made him get even more tense so, before moving forward, feeling that if he did it could have been irrespectful thowards her, he muttered something not that easy to discern. The young man said it would have made him feel bad to put her in such uneasy position since he was only a friend and nothing more, role he despised incredibly whenever he happened to be close to her, wishing he could be more than a mere company - her response caught him aback once again; "Then ask me out maybe?" she said, with what he late discovered to be a lame way to keep a cool aura only to conceal her embarassment, and turned to give him her back. Even if her attitudes seemed to emanate a negative pulses he was feeling so strong he could touch the sky just by stretching up his arms yet to weak that a feather could break him in two. That was the first time he could feel what real love tastes like.
It didn't need much time to pass before he could taste it again; a day in which things were going pretty much in the same way, plus the detail that their feelings were not a secret anymore. The self-conciousness was still there though it wasn't enough to keep them from wanting to step forward again, reaching a new level that would have helped them to get even closer. The sound of his room's door closing felt like a gear unlocking, giving birth to a brand new motion into the machine of their loving process. That instant, in which he could feel her presence behind him, on his own bed waiting for him, eager yet tense just like him was making it hard for him to turn and walk back to her. The moment he sit next to her all he wanted to do was making her feel the less uneasy he could so that every single move of his that was getting him closer to the full exploration of her body could feel easier and comfortable; he let his hands mold on her shapes and curves delicately as if she was a statue made of crystal that could get broken from nothing, he savoured her embarassment revealing his skin too in order to not make her feel alone, he let once again his lips taste the wonders of her skin all along that unexplored areas he once hesitated to even think of. Thinking of it now, that was the second time he really felt the love at his highest levels. Physical and emotive one, love meant as sharing feelings and sensations, as sharing fears and desires, emerament and craving, insecurity and passion.
I think I have never felt the love before I met you because all I felt was nothing compared to what I experienced with you thorugh these months. By finding you I found the companion I want to take with me for a life time, be it an endless one like yours or a feeble one like mine. I have no hesitation to say I want to share all the best with you, to build up a family, to buy a new house, to give birth to some children, to organize their birthday parties, to take them school every morning, to watch them getting older while I holding your hand still feeling excited and in love as the young guy who dared to step forward that one time.
I love you with all my being and I forever will.