Promise To Be Dazzling

hi, (: the name is Rae, 30’s. she/her. Lots of fandom nonsense with personal stuff mixed once in a while. More often than not 18+ | 75% success rate of making Ems cry on planes, a coffee shop and work | contrary to popular belief I don’t hate Kels | proud poly sinner | AO3: MonsterRae1 | ko fi: monsterrae1

[monsterrae1]

Where am I now and how things have been

Hi guys.

Idk why I feel like I need to come on here and explain how things are now but idk part of me feels like I owe you all.

My brother is doing A LOT better, he truly made a miraculous recovery and now he’s moving on his own, he’s starting to talk a lot better now and while there’s still a long way to walk, the road is looking up. He’s never going to be fully independent again, but he’s going to have a good quality of life which is all I care about.

Im not doing particularly okay, but I’ve been trying y process and adapt as best as I can. I have good days and bad days but I’m still here.

A little over a month ago I decided to take a full step back from the fandom and most fandom spaces (with the exception of a couple of discord servers) because I wanted to use my little to non free time to focus on my original work, as some of you know being a published author has been one of my life long dreams and lately I’ve been using it as an escape from it all. It’s been going slow but steady.

Truth is, I miss the fandom terribly, I miss coming here and be silly and I miss writing fanfic and read fanfic and just be present in the joy of it all with everyone, and I’m hoping I can make a return, even if it’s not full time.

I feel incredible guilty every time someone tags me in anything because I can’t give it the attention you all deserve but I also love seeing that you guys are still working and creating what I am sure are amazing works and art! Even if my executive function is fucked atm and doesn’t let me come and reblog it all or even set up a queue - I promise I will try and be better.

Im also gonna try and finish something and post soon, or soonish, idk what, but I wanna try. I know I’m still welcomed but I understand if most of you have lost interest in any of my WIPs - no hard feelings at all.

Anyway, I just wanted to leave a small update and wish you a wonderful week 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[ravenclairee]

HUDSON WILLIAMS photographed by Aika Flores for the 2026 Bell Media Upfront

[circledwithaheart]

last line tag game

Rules: Post the last line(s) you wrote and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you want).

tagged recently by beloveds @soupfic @eddiesstabwound @dangerpronebuddie who all offered some delightful words you should absolutely check out 💖

“That,” he says with conviction. And, because he knows words are important. “That’s what I want right now.” ‘Okay’ is all he gets before Eddie’s kissing him again, licking at the seam of his lips and urging him to open. It’s automatic and instinctual to seek out Eddie’s tongue, the hot velvety feel of him while Eddie traces up and down his sides. Buck’s fingers grab at the hem of Eddie’s shirt, unsure what else to do until he’s told. Until Eddie tells him what to do.

np tagging @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @cathcer1984 @fanficmanic @sassay-fox @thelikesofus @honestlydarkprincess @whatwouldeddiedo @bekkachaos @monsterrae1 @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @911varietyposts @keeperofdragons @spotsandsocks @damnit-buck @greencreekwolf @rewritetheending @bi-buckrights @thewolvesof1998 @rainbow-nerdss and anyone else who wants to😘

[monsterrae1]

Oliver portrait, watercolor on mix media paper

Buy me a coffee

Tags

@bi-buckrights @beyourownanchor6 @honestlydarkprincess @father-salmon @underwaterninja13 @giddyupbuck @bigfootsmom @devirnis @midsummersmorn @spotsandsocks @bidisasterevankinard @ravipanikking @famkoe @aspecbuddie @exhuastedpigeon @daffi-990 @lyricfulloflight @shipperqueen6 @inell @greencreekwolf @artsy-man-today @sickeningly-sweet-honey @comfortingevanbuckley

[spotsandsocks]

Up Close and Personal update 🩰

Chapt 2 8k

Ballet/Bodyguard au

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85152181/chapters/224847186

And here’s a bit for wip Wednesday and other tags I’ve been tagged in by @dangerpronebuddie @circledwithaheart @rainbow-nerdss @sofa-king-lame

Shane checks his watch again.

He's come here to see his new client and that's what he's going to do. It's reconnaissance, research really, that's all. He needs to get used to being around Rozanov, get familiar with how he moves, his face, the way people react to his presence.

His interest in seeing him perform is just a part of the research required to do his job well.

In his head he can hear Rose laughing, which is fair, it's not a very convincing lie, especially as technically he has already seen Rozanov tonight, has already had the opportunity to see how people behave around him. He could leave if he wanted to, research done.

Except Shane doesn't want to leave. He wants to stay and see more of him, just for research purposes of course. It's the responsibile thing to do.

It had only been a glimpse earlier after all; Shane had had his first experience of Ilya Rozanov in public around half an hour ago. The star of the show and a stunningly beautiful woman he'd already seen in photographs had entered the lobby arm in arm to rapturous applause.

Tagging a few in case anyone has things to share on this wip Wednesday or might like to know this fic has updated lmk if you want in or out on tags

@trickygreyarea @jazzrose343 @bi-buckrights @bekkachaos @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @kyoteugly @thewolvesof1998 @chaosandwolves @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @thelikesofus @kejfeblintz @lemotmo @wildlife4life @inell @itsmajel @desertbuddie @greencreekwolf

[circledwithaheart]

manuscript monday

tagged by beloved @eddiesstabwound ☺️

listen, I thought these two were stalling out on me. Turns out they just needed a minute. Oh, and Buck is feeling a rollercoaster of Things™️. some of this will probably get rearranged but the intent is there

Then Eddie flips them so Buck’s back is against the mirrored column. As he’s pinned to the cool glass he wonders if Eddie’s going to take him right here out in the open. If Eddie will even bother making him fully strip or expose him just enough to do what he needs. Because Buck’s not worth taking the time for, just a body–a hole–to be used however Eddie sees fit.

Buck’s hips jerk forward at the thought.

In his wildest dreams, of a life he knows he’ll never get, he always imagined taking his time with Eddie. That they would savor each other and have the type of sex that could only be described as making love. The kind that requires the deepest and most vulnerable type of intimacy. The kind he can’t imagine ever giving to anyone else.

But those fantasies were from a very different time. From ‘before’.

Before Bobby sacrificed himself. Before Eddie got himself tangled in the dark fantasy of getting to have Shannon again. Before Eddie fucked up and chased their kid halfway across the country, forcing Buck to lose both of them.

He allows himself to be difficult for just a moment. To bite down on Eddie’s lower lip and show the little bit of fight he’s got in him. It seems fair, given the circumstances.

“You gonna fuck me or not, Diaz?”

Eddie instantly responds by putting enough space between them that Buck sees the set to his jaw. How fiery embers of want have flared into something darker and more dangerous; an inferno ready to engulf them both.

Let it.

For a beat he considers that Eddie will decide Buck’s not even worth this. That he’ll cut his losses and walk away right then. Instead, he grabs Buck’s hand, tugging harshly.

“Come with me.”

np tagging @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie (staring at you so hard 👁️ 👁️) @rodeoboxseats @cathcer1984 @damnit-buck @fanficmanic @sunsetkinard @sassay-fox @soupfic @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @911varietyposts @keeperofdragons @sintari @bekkachaos @honestlydarkprincess @spotsandsocks @damnit-buck @greencreekwolf @rewritetheending @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @thewolvesof1998 @whatwouldeddiedo @thekristen999 @theotherbuckley @midsummersmorn @lemonzestywrites @your-catfish-friend @rainbow-nerdss and anybody else who wants to 😘

[circledwithaheart]

fuck it friday

tagged by beloved @soupfic with some delicious words you should definitely check out

like pandas in captivity, these two are refusing to cooperate and just fuck already. hopefully sharing will get things moving again 🙃

“And do they-” Eddie pinches his brows together for a beat, then relaxes again. “Do you let them kiss you?” “No,” he answers without hesitation. “Not on the mouth.” That’s one thing he never lets his play partners do; an intimate imaginary line he maintains as a hard limit. “And what about me?” “What about you?” Eddie seems to study him a moment. “Wondering if you would let me kiss your pretty mouth?” His stomach swoops at the compliment. At the idea that Eddie is asking if Buck will give him permission to do something no one else is allowed to. It’s a wonder he doesn’t drop to his knees right there. “Yes.” ... He considers all the fucked up things he’s allowed total strangers to do to him, to use him for, and how much better they could be if Eddie was the one doing them. “Let me make it up to you,” Eddie says, more of a statement than a question, a promise that he's going to make everything better. “Give you what you need.” Something inside Buck’s brain short circuits at that word. Need. Not what he wants or Eddie wants but what he needs. Because if anyone is capable of providing such a thing, it’s his best friend. The person who knows him almost better than he knows himself. This won't be anything permanent, nothing longer than tonight. Maybe only a few hours, if that. And it’s not love- not for Eddie. This gift being offered is a consolation prize, a small mercy before they go back to pretending there's not an enormous chasm between them, growing bigger every day. Before Eddie hurts Buck by leaving again- and Buck lets him do it. Because the choice is him or Chris, that’s the deal. Or. Not ‘and’. Never ‘and’. Even so, his brain can’t ignore the reality that this is him and Eddie, and that means it ultimately can’t be anything but good. “Eddie, please.”

np tagging @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @rodeoboxseats @eddiesstabwound @cathcer1984 @fanficmanic @sunsetkinard @sassay-fox @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @911varietyposts @keeperofdragons @sintari @bekkachaos @honestlydarkprincess @spotsandsocks @damnit-buck @greencreekwolf @rewritetheending @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @thewolvesof1998 @whatwouldeddiedo @thekristen999 @theotherbuckley @midsummersmorn @lemonzestywrites @your-catfish-friend @rainbow-nerdss and anybody else who wants to 😘

[dangerpronebuddie]

Manuscript Monday

Tagged by my beloved @circledwithaheart who shared some amazing words y'all should show some love!! 🩷🩷

I've been jumping between wips, but the Coma Eddie fic really has a hold on me:

Buck takes another step closer to the bed. Eddie wants to reach out and take his hand, but he doesn't.

"Mom, I know you're worried," Eddie placates, "but we have it handled."

"Eddie, you can't even walk," she counters. "A broken arm and a broken leg and- God only knows what else! And you think you can single-handedly take care of yourself and Christopher?"

"Not single-handedly," Buck pipes up.

Eddie's heart flutters. He hopes the monitors don't pick up the jump.

Helena turns her icy gaze to Buck. "I'm sorry?"

"Don't be," Buck says with the sharpest smile Eddie's ever seen on him. "You've been incredibly busy. Eddie's been handling everything, greatly, I might add. I'm just lending a hand. I've got his back." That smile somehow gets sharper.

Little does Buck know, Helena carries the same blade... and a lot more experience. "I think you might be overstepping, young man," she says in the same tone she's used to scold Eddie with his whole life.

Eddie opens his mouth to defend Buck, but Buck stops him with a reassuring hand on his shoulder, his gaze never leaving Helena's. "I step in wherever Eddie wants me."

No pressure tagging:

@rodeoboxseats @lover-of-mine @daffi-990 @spotsandsocks @ronordmann @inell @keynb @drmellking @rainbow-nerdss @elvensorceress @sofa-king-lame @thegeekcompanion @unlifeira @icebergeddie @diazsdimples @circledwithaheart @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @misshiss727 @monsterrae1 @darkrose6578 @wildlife4life @bekkachaos @cometwatson

@thekristen999 @thelikesofus @kaseysgirl86-blog @diazheartsbuckley @epicbuddieficrecs @buddstiel @bibuckbuckgoose @penpatronuswhump @zerokrox-blog @idealuk @lookforanewangle @maraskywalkers @monroemary @eddiedisasterdiaz @joannte @damnitiloveyou @kissyboytroye

@aroqueerfandoms @slowlyfoggydestiny @babydollbuck @savlikesbluengreen @slutstrandbuddie @damnit-buck @birthmarkedbabyblues @anniegraceinrealife @whatsgoodinthehood22 @walske @wallywise @desertbuddie @nonspeakingkiku @abstractslowburn @bereft-reeling

[dangerpronebuddie]

Last Line Tag Game!

Tagged by my beloved @circledwithaheart who shared a line from some delicious angst I canNOT get enough of <3

In true hiatus Maggie fashion, I have set aside every wip I hold dear for some new ones. This may not become anything, but it is Something in my head already.

"We're gonna find him, okay? We're gonna be okay," he says with certainty. His dad's words echo in his head, all the times he cradled Chris' head and promised the same. We're gonna be okay. Chris always believed him. Always will. Now he just has to convince Theo of that. He remembers being so terrified when that wave hit, and Buck managing to keep him calm, keep him safe. Chris can do that for Theo.

No pressure tagging: @rodeoboxseats @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @lookforanewangle @misshiss727 @spotsandsocks @bekkachaos @inell @unlifeira @monsterrae1 @rainbow-nerdss @maraskywalkers @thelikesofus @wildlife4life and anyone else who's interested! <3

[spotsandsocks]

Let’s WIP this Wednesday tagged by @exhuastedpigeon doing great things in the hangster world

Up close and Personal is now my offical up and running wip with chapt 1 up on ao3 so I’ll do a bit of self promo cos why not Hollanov Bodyguard Au if you’re interested 💖

"Ilya Rozanov?"

His name, an unexpected question, spoken in an unfamiliar voice draws Ilya's attention from the fascinating middle distance he'd been staring at and into the dark eyes of a stranger.

He blinks stupidly at the man standing nearby, he hadn’t even noticed him arriving in the alley. He looks to be about the same age as him, he's certainly as tall as he is, maybe a little wider it's hard to tell with the distance and the jacket.

There are a few dark strands of dark hair sticking out from the back of a wool hat and the tip of his nose is turning red.

He doesn't look particularly dangerous but that's what he thought the last time too.

Once he’s taken in the view Ilya realises that the man is the only other person around and that he's blocking the exit from the alley to the street.

That particular realisation sends a chill rushing down his spine and highlights the fact that Ilya really hadn't been paying nearly as much attention to his surroundings as he should have been.

Fuck.

Svetlana is going to kill him if he gets murdered in an alleyway on the evening of his return performance.

Find out more ….

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85152181/chapters/224847186

Anyone want to share??? - @hippolotamus @bekkachaos @bi-buckrights @dangerpronebuddie @actualalligator @trickygreyarea @chaosandwolves @inell @kejfeblintz @kyoteugly @lemotmo @monsterrae1 @paxdracona @rainbow-nerdss @spaceprincessem @thelikesofus @wildlife4life @thewolvesof1998

[brittwrites]

last line tag game

tagged by @circledwithaheart

rules: share the last line(s) you wrote then tag some pals

Buck let out a wet laugh and wiped at his eyes. “Yeah, no Athena definitely helped to get them to leave me alone. I need to send her a flower arrangement or something for doing that.” He laughed again and a small smile spread across his face, the first one since the night he had found Eddie. “You guys really think I can do this and not fuck Chris up too much? Because I really, really think Eddie was drunk when he decided that I get custody of his son if he…” The fear and hesitation in his voice couldn’t be hidden.

tagging: @soupfic @honestlydarkprincess @keeperofdragons @monsterrae1 @super-powerful-queen-slayyna and anyone else who sees this

[circledwithaheart]

last line tag game 💦

tagged by my beloved @bidisasterevankinard 😘

rules: share the last line(s) you wrote then tag some pals

The guy keeps going, like he wants to get every drop from Buck and then some, until Buck pulls him off. Only then does it hit Buck that this guy is going to need something in return. That Eddie is probably going to watch that too.

np tagging @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie (ahem! 🤨) @spotsandsocks @cathcer1984 @fanficmanic @sassay-fox @daffi-990 @rodeoboxseats @bekkachaos @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @greencreekwolf @brittwrites @soupfic @keeperofdragons @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @honestlydarkprincess @damnit-buck @sunsetkinard and anyone else who wants to 😘

[spotsandsocks]

At great personal cost to my bedtime I’ve just put chapt 1 of Hollanov bodyguard au. This may or may not be of interest to anyone but just in case

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s about 5.5k and maybe tomorrow I’ll do a proper post

Tagging a few mutuals who might not mind too much 😘

@d9i1a1z @hippolotamus @spaceprincessem @bi-buckrights @bekkachaos @thelikesofus @jazzrose343 @monsterrae1 @dangerpronebuddie @greencreekwolf @inell @itsmajel @thewolvesof1998 @chaosandwolves @wildlife4life

Anyone want to get tagged in Hollanov fic lmk 💜

[circledwithaheart]

Sunday Sentences

working on a prompt for @dangerpronebuddie and ngl I'm pretty psyched about it. thought I'd share a smidge 💖

He thinks he could have been reachable again. Maybe. If Eddie had stayed and been willing to help Buck reach into the gaping cavern of his chest. To reach past his snapped and jagged ribs; to the tiny bone fragments dusting his heart, and threatening to absorb into his veins and arteries. Buck could have even helped with Eddie’s. Because isn’t that what Eddie wanted? For Buck to ask and be there for him? Except Eddie left. Again. And now Buck is probably up to the 105th act of his trials and tribulations. Maybe he’ll make it to 118 before he’s done. Morbidly, he considers it could be his version of Bobby’s book. The one he kept to track his personal body count. Except deep down Buck knows real life isn’t so transactional and eye for an eye. Sins can’t be swapped like pretty, shiny coins and put you in the black. But they can let him hold multiple truths. The knowledge that this is a terrible idea and the belief that it’s the best thing for him. Others have taken pieces of him. He was quite literally made to be used. How is it any different that he does it himself, especially when it’s his own choice?

np tagging @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @rodeoboxseats @daffi-990 @cathcer1984 @fanficmanic @sunsetkinard @sassay-fox @fourhalliwells @buckmaddie @honestlydarkprincess @monsterrae1 @bekkachaos @spotsandsocks @greencreekwolf @dr-shortsighted-owl @elvensorceress @bi-buckrights @soupfic @brittwrites @keeperofdragons @damnit-buck @thewolvesof1998 @whatwouldeddiedo @youdeservesunshine @thekristen999 @theotherbuckley @midsummersmorn @lemonzestywrites @your-catfish-friend @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @rewritetheending and anybody else who wants to 😘

[contemptible-scoundrel]

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

[stitchposts]

what is your LEAST favorite stitch?

I don't like counted work at fucking all. So: the cross stitch.

[rabbitindisguise]

reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore

[stitchposts]

FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.

[the-dragongirl]

Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot

[stitchposts]

Don't you dare malign my girl again

[im-a-dream-wizard]

Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently

[stitchposts]

[ao3-anonymous]

We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level

[talbatross]

"skill issue" made entirely from French knots is a next level roast. no coming back from that one. damn

[subversivecynic]

French knot is easy. Counting each fiddly thread is some absolutely nightmare bullshit.

[gabyluvsxena]

by the gods, y'all need to learn to fucking grid. and you aren't counting threads, you are counting boxes, the grid makes it so much easier. i don't even count most of the time, the grid does it for me.

[stitchposts]

But then I'd have to cross stitch. Why would I want that when I hate cross stitch.

[eddiesmustache]