talbatross

he/him. cis straight dude but like, on purpose. 40. dad. been on tumblr since before either of those things happened. don't know why i'm still here but i've no plans to leave.

[nerdicornthetrekkie]

[gamechangershow]

Sorry but it's not complete without...

[sailatina3]

Orgasm denial. Orgasm anger. Orgasm bargaining. Orgasm depression. Orgasm acceptance.

[thestuffedalligator]

The Discworld fandom is something I affectionately think of as a kaiju.

The Discworld fandom is, despite all outward appearances of being this lil’ ol’ ma and pa fandom, actually very, very big. Unbelievably big. Vastly, hugely big.

Discworld has a dedicated convention. Discworld had published filk albums. Discworld has officially licensed video games on the PS1. Discworld has a twinned city in the real actual United Kingdom.

Because Terry Pratchett was called the highest selling author in the United Kingdom for a slice of time. Not the highest selling fantasy author, the highest selling author, full stop.

There are a lot of people who have read Discworld, and of those there are a lot who would consider themselves fans of Discworld. And it’s a fandom that largely lies slumbering on the sea floor, content, quiet, until something happens and the whole fandom rises out of the ocean like fucking Godzilla to bellow “HAAAVE YOOOU REEEAD DIIISCWOOORLD III HAAAVE FLOOOWCHAAARTS” and stomp on a building

[tk421-afk]

The flow charts are so nice.

You don’t at all need them to enjoy the books, they’re all actually very well self contained. But the flowcharts are great too.

PS: I saw this post on imgur (heh) and ran back to find the original and repost it because it delighted me so ❤️

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[spiralfucker]

They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket

[peoplegettingkindamadatfood]

[dialed-in-or-dilly-dallying]

Is this Channel Catfish dialed in or dilly dallying?

Dialed in

Dilly dallying

Remaining time: 2 days 13 hours

source: © tylerduplantis https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/376699491

[talbatross]

bro how can anyone say he's dilly dallying i have never seen a fish more dialed in

[figglypuff]

[necrolentil]

Goddamit i hate this fucking post. I hate it because obviously if “twelve” followed the same pattern as the other teen numbers it wouldn’t be “twoteen” it would be “seconteen”. Think about it. It’s not “threeteen” it’s “thirteen” as in “third”. It’s not “fiveteen” it’s “fifteen” as in fifth. So with that in mind, you count “first, second, third, fourth, fifth,” and so on, so eleven would be “firsteen” and twelve would be “secondteen” or “seconteen”. “Firsteen, seconteen, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen….” It just drives me absolutely mad everytime i see this post that this obvious pattern was overlooked and i cant hold in my rage anymore.

[improper-integral]

[prokopetz]

Having been Very Online in the mid 1990s is rough because half of your formative influences are like "yeah, this Flash video engages in pop culture deconstruction that's strikingly topical even thirty years later and did things to my vocabulary that persist to this day, and I can literally never recommend it to anyone because its core premise is a level of homophobic ordinarily observed only under laboratory conditions".

[prokopetz]

Them: Hey, you were around for the first wave of real webcomics. Which one was your favourite?

Me:

[prokopetz]

Whenever I talk about what the Internet was like in the mid 1990s I invariably get a bunch of folks responding "yes, I too remember the 90s", then proceeding to describe the Internet circa 2005 – and like, it makes sense that this would happen, because relatively few people were actually online in the 1990s, but it's striking how many folks just straight up misremember the mid 2000s as "the 90s".

[prokopetz]

There's probably a line to be drawn between this phenomenon and the surprising number of people who think of Shrek as the quintessential 90s movie in spite of the fact that it came out in 2001.

[talbatross]

my first internet experience was Prodigy on a Packard Bell computer running Windows 3.11. Soon moved to AOL. When AOL went to a flat monthly rate instead of hourly, it was all over. The Internet had its talons in me. I didn't know it at the time but I was just waiting for Tumblr to exist.

[pattern-recognition]

was looking at furniture i can’t afford on fb market and found what is definitely the most yonic cabinet i’ve ever seen

[talbatross]

[henstomper]

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[impossiblepackage]

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

[henstomper]

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

[talbatross]

so my daughter who just turned 8 has been obsessed with k-pop demon hunters for like probably close to a year? and that obsession has recently expanded into bts as well. so we listen to a lot of bts. the playlists will often throw in some of the members' solo stuff too. and while bts is about as vulgar as the backstreet boys, jung kook has a song called seven that is about daily fucking, with lines like "night after night I'll be fucking you right"

anyway the wife is understandably not too happy with her listening to that song. but she's ok with the "clean" version that only changes the word "fucking" to "loving". but like, it's still very clearly a song about regular, vigorous, and thorough fucking.

but when my kid listens to a song that comes up on one of my playlists, using "fuck" as purely an intensifier in an otherwise less vulgar song, the wife gets all upset.

there's a point here I'm not sure how to articulate but you get it right

[botanyshitposts]

love doing something I call ‘the big leaf test’ where I put my hand on a leaf and if the leaf is bigger than my hand I go damn that’s crazy

[infertilityidol]

[weirdmageddon]

i know most people have seen it but i cant emphasize how much this is literally my favorite breath of the wild clip of all time. also i can never fucking find this clip when i need it especially in high definition so here it is

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[aniseandspearmint]

*cry laughing* the little goading 'they made it better!'

That's the comment if someone who knows EXACTLY what button to push with someone else to get, 'i am going to castrate him tonight.' as a flat response.