It seems appropriate to make this first post today, when it’s “a fortnight and odd days” to Lammas Eve. Because I have a confession to make: Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story. Not just my favorite tragedy or favorite Shakespeare, but my favorite story period. It has been that way for most of my life.
And I can’t talk about it with any of my friends. Their opinions range from “Nice, but not really my thing” to full-on “It’s-really-a-story-about-how-kids-are-dumb” contempt.
I’ve heard all the objections and reasons why people shouldn’t love the story, but they don’t convince me. I’ve thought a lot about the story in its various versions. But I’ve never been able to talk about it anywhere. So I made this blog for that purpose.
Who am I? I’ll just say that I’m female, American, old enough to have seen the 1996 movie version in the theater (but not old enough to have seen the 1968 version in the theater). That should be enough for context. I think I was eight when I first tried reading a bit of the play. Not that I understood very much of it at that age.
I look forward to diving into various aspects of the story in more detail.
Seriously, where does this idea that Romeo is much older than Juliet come from?
I recently saw a post confidently stating, as if it was an established fact, that Romeo is 34 years old, and that drove me to ask this. I've loved R&J for decades, but I've only ever seen this idea on Tumblr and only in the last couple of years.
So where did this idea start, and why has it caught on?
The play never mentions his age, as opposed to how people keep going on about hers.
The movie versions have all cast them as being similar in age. Even the 1936 version had them both played by actors over 30.
If the idea is "that's how things were at the time," the whole point is that they weren't doing things in the established or accepted way.
I just don't get how anyone could read the play and assume he's supposed to be twice her age or more. And while there has probably been a production somewhere that cast them that way, that doesn't explain why the idea seems to have caught hold.
Is this just Romeo hate-dom in a weird disguise? Trying to make him sound creepy? But even if that's the case, I still don't understand how it got started.
I really do not like to sound too bold for this, but people need to know of the previous stories of Romeo and Juliet before Shakespeare took center stage. Other authors wrote that Romeo was a young man of 20 and Juliet was 18. Why Shakespeare chose 13 as Juliet's age and why we do not know Romeo's real age is beyond my comprehension.
I suppose Shakespeare's source stories were well enough known that he didn't feel like he needed to go into detail about it.
However, I think I might have solved the mystery of where this idea comes from: I think it's bleedover from the Snow White age gap rumor, which is debunked in this video:
The "conventional wisdom" (at least online) is that Romeo and Juliet either is a play about stupid teenagers who mistake lust for love or else it's trying to depict true love but fails because it's completely unrealistic. Either way, definitely not a good love story, right? We all know better and see through the pretense. We're too cool for it. We've progressed.
So, then, why is it still one of Shakespeare's most popular plays? Why is it staged so frequently? It must be a reliable money-maker, and I can't believe all those ticket sales come from hate-watching or from people being reluctantly dragged to the show by friends or SOs. Or people who go just to feel sorry for dumb teenagers who don't understand love. No, I think people still respond to the story, but they just won't admit it.
Olivia Hussey’s Juliet is energetic, hurtling across the church floor into Leonard Whiting’s arms in a cloud of lilac silk, and darting around the balcony with all the exultation of requited first love. She is the happiest Juliet on film. In Paramount’s promotional reel for the film, Olivia is shown window-shopping for underwear in Carnaby Street’s boutiques and bopping to the latest dances; an official profile verified that she ‘loves dancing and music, approves of mini-skirts and loves mod clothes.’ She is presented as a wholesome, hyper-feminine starlet who wears ‘no make-up except for mascara and has always worn her hair long.’
Olivia’s identification with the character was passionate and absolute: ’I feel very close to Juliet, and I understand all her motives and feelings. I would be able to kill myself for love.’ These Interview quotes stress a dreamy, adolescent instability: ‘I do daydream a lot. Sometimes I laugh and then the next minute I’m in tears - and I don’t know why.’ Kissing in her school uniform but coveting thigh-high boots, Olivia Hussey was the dimpled, laughing it girl for 1968. - SEARCHING FOR JULIET, SOPHIE DUNCAN
I remember this routine! She used the Nino Rota movie score, and I loved that she included the "Ave Maris Stella" part. It's one of my favorite melodies in the score, and I feel like it doesn't get enough love. Somehow, I'd remembered the dress as being pink, though.
Back in the day, when figure skating fans were lining up on the Tonya Harding or Nancy Kerrigan sides, I didn't particularly care about either one because Kristi was my favorite.
Romeo and Juliet’s Instalove Makes Sense, Actually: A Very Hot Take
So a big chunk of R&J clownery I constantly eat on this blog is the neverending bitching about R&J falling in love at first sight is unrealistic and based on lust because they don’t even know each other and how William Shakespeare totes meant it as satire and blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, love at first sight/instalove was a very popular trope in Shakespeare’s time, and Shakespeare himself used it constantly in his other plays. Occam’s Razor: He liked it. Also, er, it is very much a real-life phenomenon. If perhaps overrepresented in fiction.
But anti whinging aside, it does beg the question: What did attract R&J to each other in the first place? I’ve talked at length about their similarities and their compatibility personally, verbally, and socially, but the bulk of the evidence is largely after they have met. So it makes sense why R&J would stick together and even prefer shuffling off their mortal coil than not be together. But at first sight? Without knowing a thing about each other besides their appearances?
R&J obviously do value physical beauty, but that in and of itself doesn’t explain why they would be attracted to each other. Shakespeare makes it a point to tell us that Capulet invited all the hot women in Verona, including Romeo’s crush, Rosaline. Why didn’t Romeo fall for any of them, or simply pine for Rosaline from afar? Juliet was dancing with a knight when Romeo saw her, and there were at least boys her age and not related to her, including Mercutio and Benvolio. Why didn’t she prefer any of them? And then there is the underrated fact that they met during a masquerade ball at night.
My very hot take? Shakespeare kept the instalove of his source material because his R&J would, in fact, fall 100% in love with each other for reasons other than hotness, and it is plausible that they would do so. And I’ll prove it: through Y/N dynamics.
Romeo’s POV
You’re the son and heir of a lord, living in 15th century Italy. Good news—you got male privilege! You have been given a fine education (for the time) in Latin, Greek, rhetoric, and so forth. You know how to read and write and duel people with pointy sticks. You have been raised to lead, and thus people are predisposed to take you seriously. You can do whatever the fuck you want with whoever the fuck you want, within reason. So long as you conform to this role and not show any unruly womanish traits, you’re good to go.
That said, you live in a macho society that is 100% okay with killing other people with sharp pointy sticks because they said something rude to you. Not only that, but your family has revived a blood feud with another family who hate your guts. Hence, your chance of dying a bloody death is astronomically high. Despite this, you turn out to be a pretty cool and even-tempered guy—you don’t cause trouble in the slightest. Your dad’s enemy even acknowledges your sterling reputation as a “portly gentlemen” and a “well-governed youth.”
In fact, you’re so chill that your biggest problem is that this hot girl you like doesn’t like you back. Even worse, she refuses to have sex, period. Which means she won’t have sex with you. You are a teenage boy, and this is indeed the worst thing that has ever happened to you. Fuck your life.
That said…you are not really doing much to get Hot Chick Who Won’t Have Sex With You to change her mind about you sex, are you? All you’ve been doing so far is 1) sneaking off to weep beneath sycamore trees in the early morning and 2) bitching to the Friar about HCWWHS, and 3) bitching to your cousin about how HCWWHS won’t spread her thighs to receive your that sweet golden cum (yes, that is verbatim). And when you find out that HCWWHS is going to this party at your enemy’s house, you don’t exactly jump at the chance to see her, do you? Your cousin literally has to convince you to go. Your response? “Fine, but I won’t Like(tm) it.”
Sure enough, you don’t. In fact, halfway through, you tell your friends you want to turn around and go back home. Nah, you say. It’s not worth it. You had a dream/premonition and now the party has bad vibes. (HCWWHS who? Ngl, you kind of just forget about her). Your cool friend mocks you for taking a ~dream seriously, ffs, but honestly you don’t pay much attention to him. You decide to go anyway, not because of HCWWHS or your cool friend, but because you march to the beat of your own drum. Que será será.
So what do you really want out of romance? Clearly, you are interested in HCWWHS’s thighs, but not much else about her. Why are you so emo about her, then? Certainly, she’s smart and hot, per you. Possibly older. Perhaps you feel that being with a hot older chick who can smell horny teenage guy BS a mile away is exactly what you want, actually. Or what you think you want.
Because here’s the deal: You’re obviously an odd duck in this hateful medieval town. You’re too chill for this feud life, too smart to get into needless fights, too young to work (don’t have to), and too old for school (you had private tutors, but that was ages ago). You’re too young to shoulder the responsibilities of an heir, but too old to be kept at home. So what tf do you do? See a play???? Do archery???? Falconry???? Hang out with friends????
As you can see, it’s a little lonely. Your parents are the type to let you do whatever the fuck you want because you’re a ~man now, and you need your ~space. No rules or structure. And despite what pop culture adaptations of your story have told millions, you are actually a smart and fairly mature guy for your age. You love your independence, of course, you won’t ever complain about that. But independence alone does not equate to true freedom.
What you need (but you don’t know you do) is a girl who would, actually, ask things from you. Demand them, even. Someone who is not shy about telling you what she thinks and what she wants. Someone who is open to the idea of love and not be obsessed with either chaste perfection or violence. Someone whom you can relate the struggles of living this isolated, feud-stricken life to. Someone who is mature but closer to your own age. Someone who is about as ambivalent as you are about the status quo.
And then you see this beautiful, mature, sad-looking girl dancing with this random knight. Oh, you think. Oh, indeed.
Juliet’s POV
You are a young teenage girl living in 15th century Italy. Bad news—you’re fucked. So much so it’s honestly too depressing to relate here in its entirety. You yourself know it, very deep down. Some light in this darkness? You are the only daughter to a very rich and noble family. Does that make you better? It should, a little.
For one thing, you are protected from your very violent macho culture’s obsession with killing people with pointy sticks. You are a girl, and you don’t do that. Your only jobs are to learn to read, sew, and marry rich. Your parents are not what you’d call the progressive types. Your relationship with your mother is very formal and awkward; needless to say, she is not the warm, motherly type. That would be your Nurse, who was actually the one to raise you. Your father is fine until you contradict him even slightly. Then he turns red and shouty and blustery, and suddenly you are a saucy girl and his fingers start to itch.
Fortunately for you, you’re a good girl. Not only that, but you are a smart one. From a very early age, you have learned how to survive in this very dysfunctional family. You learn how to say the right things in the right way. You equivocate better than any lawyer. Through trial and error, you become an excellent liar. (Either that or your family is just too dumb to believe you could ever lie to them). But even this sucks, because plot twist: You dislike lying. So much so that most of your “lies” are really just truths cleverly edited into the PR speak your family will accept.
At the same time, though, your Nurse indulges you and has no filter. So you learn a lot from her, especially about sex and men. Perhaps you even listen in on your cousins’ gossip. Also, you’re a 13-year-old with a growing libido. Not that you think you will ever get laid, lol. Your cousins will literally kill any man who tried. Your cousin Tybalt in particular loves a chance to fight. It’s not just your virtue that you need to protect, it’s the poor guy too.
But you are still 13, so when your mother and Nurse start talking about this Count Paris who wants to marry you, your instinct is to shut down entirely. You keep your mouth shut and tell them what they want to hear to appease them. It works—now you can go back to your teen girl life in relative peace.
Except no. You actually do have to meet and most likely dance with Count Paris at your family’s party. Do you want to go? Not particularly, but you are the Heir of Capulet(tm), so refusing is not an option. Do you like dancing? Maybe, but it’s hard to let loose and shake that thang with your family and cousins around. Are you interested in marriage? Nah. Your parents are proof número uno that it is not something to look forward to. Nothing against marriage, but you feel it’s something for the very distant future.
So there you are, inwardly seething inside, perhaps having to dance with Count Paris and other men way older than you, surrounded by your family. At this point, you’re exhausted and want the night to be over already. All you what to do is sulk against the wall next to some torches, looking bored/pissed/depressed. And not dance.
And then you see a beautiful boy leaning against the wall next to some torches, looking bored/pissed/depressed. And not dancing. Oh, you think. Oh, indeed.
In Sum
So yeah. Dramatic necessity aside, R&J being instantly attracted to each other makes sense, actually. They’re both introverted/in a blah mood/reluctant to attend this party, both have ambivalent feelings towards their supposed love interests (Rosaline, Paris), and both just don’t seem to fit into Verona’s feud life as neatly as outward appearances would suggest.
They see what they actually need in each other, which is balance: Juliet has too little freedom and Romeo too much. And considering how much we find out they are alike personally, there is even a sense of recognition in their first meeting. Beyond the “bewitchèd by the charm of looks,” R&J had reasons for them falling in love.
