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@montycarlyle
lianasnow:
“I think I know you well enough to know you know what you’re doing, giving this to a psych major with a lawyer mom. I’ll be triple checking the legitimacy of this.”
“Henry’s been… Distant lately. Do you know anything about that?”
“Of course, I’d expect nothing less.”
“Yes, on a rather solemn note, I believe that I do.”
lianasnow:
“I don’t even know where to begin with how fucked up this is. I’m about to get married, I don’t have time for this bullshit.”
“Sure. What was so necessary you had to infiltrate my life for upwards of a year to tell me?”
He finally drops his fake but probably actually really very good American accent.
“Look. Liana, I know this sounds severe but that’s because it is. You’re also forgetting that I went undercover for a year to do this, and to do it slowly and secretively so that it might actually work. A year of my own life! Why would I undertake this kind of task if this degree of dedication was not required?
Henry and his family are master manipulators and the sorts of schemes they put others through, I assure you, are so many leagues beyond my own that once you know the truth, you will see that what I’ve done is a mere and insignificant white lie in comparison. I didn’t want another innocent to suffer or be pulled into these machinations. Henry knows that I’m onto him, and with the bad blood between us, if he’d known I had befriended you, he’d have put a stop to it in a moment. You were targeted because of your family. Your father and mother have influence, power... The Westons are always seeking more of that. The things they did to my family would shock you to your very soul... The impeccable, diabolical manipulations... They are masters of their craft. And I need not remind you that they were able to bring about my family’s absolute ruin without the legal and emotional binds of wedlock... If you don’t believe me, just see for yourself. It’s all here.”
He produces a folder from within his jacket, as though he’d been expecting this moment to arise at any given time, and he probably has had and carried this for months though because he’s so fucking weird. (ooc: It’s a folder of documents relating to a completely fabricated scandal between the Westons and Carlyles and how the Westons allegedly brought about the financial and reputational ruin of the Carlyles, which Monty paid a lot of money to have forged. There are printed out articles from British newspapers, and should she go online to try and look for these things, I feel like somehow...somehow, with all his money...Monty has that covered, and you can legitimately find results...Somehow... Or something. You can help me decide the actual details ooc because who the f knows? Not I. And then this will just be like. WTF when she also finds out Monty was the best man, but that could make for an especially weird revenge f***......IDK. I’m flyin by the seat of my pants. DETAILS TO BE ANNOUNCED AT A LATER DATE..... /ooc)
“It was all very hush-hush, people being paid off not to talk or leak information and whatnot, on both ends, which I’m sure you can understand. I’m sure your parents have done similar things before out of necessity. It’ll take you a while to go through everything... Once you’re done with that, I can proceed with my tale, and hopefully then you’ll be able to see things more clearly with the insight this will provide you, and we’ll get into Henry’s ex-flame Lorelei and why I went about things the way I did. You’re welcome to do this at my residence, should you like, or take it with you and then call on me once you’re ready to follow up. I’m truly sorry for the pain all of this will cause but... it will be nothing in comparison to the pain you’ll experience if you don’t find out before it’s too late. You’re a smart girl and you’ll begin to piece it all together once you learn more of the facts, starting with the ones in there.”
“Okay, Jonathan, if you’ve known Henry the entire time, what’s the deal? Care to explain what infiltrating my therapy group with lies accomplished?”
A slow, slow clap is his immediate response.
“Well done. I knew you were clever enough to figure me out. In fact, I never intended to fool you and fully expected you to discover the truth. I’m afraid, however, that as fun as it is to play along with this tone you’ve established, you’ve got my intentions all twisted. In truth, I was hoping I might be able to help you, but if you’d outwardly known too soon, Henry would’ve figured me out and it would’ve all fallen apart.
I know, I know... It seems terribly sneaky and deceitful of me and all that may very well be true... but when you’re dealing with a Weston, well... I’m afraid you’ve got to be. Please, will you at least grant me the time to explain in depth? I understand you’re upset and confused but I wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble if it wasn’t necessary, or for a good reason.”
Text -> Monty-gue
Henry: Why does my fiancé think your name is Jonathan Waters?
Henry: What are you up to?
Monty-gue: Most people are offended when their dearest friends assume they're "up to something"... but me? I'm simply proud of this infamous reputation I've got.
Monty-gue: However... I regret to admit and inform you that I unfortunately have no idea what you're talking about.
Monty-gue: Just jesting. It's a long story, Henry, and certainly you're too busy to listen to me spin that tale right now. Heaven knows I'm too busy to spin it, what with all the preparations for your bachelor party. Just trust that it's for a good reason, and it is, in fact, related to your wedding. Don't spoil it.
TEXT: Westy
Westy: Please don't ever change. I need your particular brand of brashness in my life.
Westy: Honestly, thank fuck you beat Elliot to the draw, I couldn't have lived with that.
Monty-gue: I know you do. But you can perish all thoughts about Elliot because now that I've officially taken on the mantle, you can be sure your best man will excel in his responsibilities. And listen, I know I've had my reservations about the "sanctity of marriage" and all that but for you, dear old friend, and ONLY you, I've resolved to henceforth bite my tongue. Figuratively speaking, of course, because you know I will deliver you a damn good toast.
Monty-gue: I'm looking at your adorable little Pinterest board, by the way...
TEXT: Westy
Monty-gue: You know Westy-boy, I've come to realise you must be too embarrassed to ask me for some strange reason--perhaps, I thought, a sense of modesty that young engagement causes one to develop as an early symptom of the imminent terminal disease you're willingly submitting yourself to...? ... ... and since the date is drawing dangerously near and I'm quite certain you're meant to settle these things far sooner than this, I figured I would take it upon myself instead, being of sound mind and steadfast character, to save your khaki-clad ass the embarrassment and simply accept. Allow this deed to mark my informal inauguration, and just for good measure I'll put it in writing, too- of course I'll be your best man, you goddamn plebe.
Monty/Lor
luringrock:
“Well, Monty, I fully intend to have a career despite my impressive pedigree. Oakvale happens to have the premiere ancient studies program in America and while the Emerald Isle will always be my home, I desired some variety.”
“I could say the same of you, frankly.”
“You could indeed. It seems a strange coincidence, but really, the truth is much less interesting than anything suspect: I was bored and decided, since I was travelling anyhow and the opportunity seemed too great to pass on, that I’d drop by and play a little catch up. It’s no more complicated than that, I’m afraid.”
lianasnow:
“Oh, uh, yeah actually, I am and it is. But this isn’t about me, don’t worry.”
“There are millions of engaged couples in the world who have… Varying degrees of success and your story doesn’t invalidate anyone else’s. Like I said, I’m here to listen. So, I think with any kind of pain like that you need to allow yourself to feel it, embrace it, process it, and then move on. Do you have any strategies for coping with that pain, or any positive ways to channel that?”
"Not really... Not healthy ones, anyway... But... Um... I know it probably isn’t allowed but... Okay, this sounds a little weird, I know, especially since I’m in here complaining about this exact thing but... I don’t know, having your sympathy and also seeing that you’re in the exact opposite position that I am and seeing how happy and excited you seemed when you just lit up there when I brought it up... Somehow... That actually made me feel a little better about my own pain... Is that weird?
I guess I’m asking... Is there any way you can spread a little holiday cheer and give me some more good to focus on? I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to look at someone else’s situation and not feel like I want to destroy their happiness. It feels important to realise I can still be happy for other people, especially other people who were in the same position I was not so long ago, and learn to move on from the past and all that pain... And I--Sorry, I know it’s probably against the rules for you to tell me personal things. It was just nice to feel something other than anger when hearing about somebody else’s happiness in love for a second. I know I need to move on... I just don’t know how.”
Listen, child. I can toss you out like the baggage you are whenever it pleases me. And don’t think for one moment your tiresome sapphic escapades shock me. You think you’re bold? You think you know sin? You’re still learning the language, I wrote the bloody book.
lianasnow:
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear that. It’s really brave of you to head out for a fresh start after something so difficult.”
“Did you want to… explore those feelings more? Do you feel the move has been successful so far?”
“I thought that it was maybe helping but I guess I’m starting to realize that I’ve just been avoiding the pain, you know? Everything’s just becoming so intense and painful with the holidays being almost here and now I can’t ignore it. Nothing feels like it’ll ever be okay again and everything just reminds me of her and how she’s just... gone.”
[He casts his glance downwards, ‘casually’ landing on her left hand, the position of which he’s been following since entering the room, waiting for the right moment to ‘notice’ it.]
“Your ring... Oh god, are you engaged? I’m so sorry, this must be the most depressing thing possible for you to hear right now... I hope you don’t even let yourself think of this happening to you. Is it...your first holiday together? You must be so excited.”
Monty/Lor
luringrock:
“I say you’re not one to propose an alliance unless you want something out of it, and you should know I am not one to agree for the sake of friendship. How exactly do I fit in to your aims then, Monty?”
“Ha. I haven’t any grand schemes brewing, my dear, I was only hoping we could agree that, should the time come when either might require them, we can count on the use of each other’s...talents, so to speak; a loose alliance to keep in our back pockets. Unless you’d like to conjure up something bigger--I am open to that prospect, as well. I just figured, since we’re both here and all, why not make the most of our resources?
What are you doing here, anyway? Quite a strange destination to settle on, isn’t it?”
lianasnow:
I so genuinely don’t want to pressure you into anything but honestly… If there is something going on this is a safe space. I am here to listen no matter how ridiculous your situation seems to you. I swear, what you’re going through is valid and sometimes you just need to get it out there to really come to terms with that.
You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to but that is why I’m here.
He pauses in the doorway, his back to her, allowing himself a private smirk before turning back around and resuming his act in one motion, his smirk seamlessly transforming into a sad, appreciative smile. He nods and rejoins her, picking the pen back up.
“Well, even if it’s your job, it’s very kind of you, so thank you. Er... So... Next on the form here... ‘Frequent feelings of loneliness’... Yes. ‘Feelings of hopelessness, despair, guilt’--Yes, yes, yes... Wow, I feel like I’m being forced to look into a mirror I’ve been trying to avoid... All these feelings have just been accumulating, I suppose, and as I mentioned, I’m new here, and I just can’t seem to find any reason for continuing on this way... Especially with the holiday cheer being everywhere you look. You see, I, er, I moved here because I thought a fresh start might be helpful after I... After she...” He trails off and makes a point of clearing his throat as if pulling himself together, and seems to struggle getting the next words out: “I lost my fiancée a few months ago.”
Monty/Lor
luringrock:
Accepting the Devil in yourself?
I trust the Prince of Darkness has better things to do than manifest in three teenagers smoking on a roof in London. Or was I supposed to think a 40 ounce bottle of Guinness was the marrow of life? What blood-bond do I have with Henry that I should trouble myself with his lifestyle? The concerns of Continental diplomats matter little to me. I lost nothing when Henry betrayed me, and clearly the two of you have forgotten that I am still a queen. Does your kingdom lie in shambles over a teenage quarrel, Montgomery?
...
I see that our years at school did not have the same impact on you...
Well, fine, then.
My kingdom, much like your own, is hardly in shambles--it’s Henry who’s walking willfully into the Battle of Camlann and leaving Camelot behind. But so be it, it is what it is. What I mean to convey is that I haven’t forgotten that you’re a Queen, Lorelei, and I haven’t forgotten your power... And regardless of Henry’s fate, I was thinking it might do us well to... rekindle our alliance. After all, Fate has brought us back together, as we’ve established already. What do you say?
Monty/Lor
luringrock:
As I said, fate would bring us here whether either of us intended it, and I have no intention of defying or questioning those forces that move us where we need to be.
Though I assume you are cryptically alluding to our former mutual friend’s predicament? I can’t say I have many qualms about the loss of Henry’s bachelorhood, but you’re quite familiar with my reasoning.
Oh, divine or otherworldly forces, certainly–I’ve no doubt about that. I just wasn’t sure whether or not you were at the helm of it all... You’d be right, though, about Henry. I’m sure you’ll say it’s karmic, this unfortunate situation… But surely, even Henry’s previous convictions shouldn’t warrant this sentencing to a lifetime of khaki pants and Birkenstocks or whatever other unfortunate things his fiancée is filling up his stocking with... The likes of nautical cufflinks and palm tree-patterned socks and monogrammed hand towels to prepare him for some dreadfully bleak, monotonous, monogamous future. I mean, really–Henry, a husband, and a father, most likely, within a year or so? It’s mad.
He’s sacrificing his soul... To swear himself in under some conformist manifesto, hand over heart but eyes glancing sideways to make sure he’s following in line? I was under the impression he was against it all, you know? All that sort of...wealthy American conventionality. But now he’s trading in his livelihood for novelties like sipping white wine in the Hamptons every summer, and to secure his invitation to every themed couples’ dinner party those people hold. He’s essentially giving his permanent RSVP to these things, as if that’s a bloody privilege he wants, and to return the favour and maintain his status, he’s also pledging his loyalty to hosting his own self-indulgent parties, wherein everyone will pretend as if it’s for a reason other than braggartism, and getting together with the other PTA parents as a means to assert your marital and parental prowess. And you know me--I’m not against the thing itself, the hedonistic displays of extravagance and the like. The problem, I’m sure you’ll agree, is these sorts of smarmy Americans doing it without any class. They try so hard to prove they’re something, because they aren’t, and it ends up being a pathetic display as they try to claw their ways up the hierarchy. They think they’re old money but they’re not, not in the grand scheme of things. They lack all the history and try to make up for it by establishing themselves among these little coteries they forge, where they can all pretend as though they’re aristocrats. And Henry will have a splendid time, I’m sure, participating in these little charades.
That is, when he isn’t schmoozing with stupid, old, affluent fucks, and shamelessly doling out to--or accepting thousands from--the pockets of all the wrong people, all for the purpose of building superficial social and political connections under her father’s wing, pretending as though they’re morally superior to their Republican foes while keeping their fingers crossed behind their backs and compromising their values under the table so long as the price is right. That’s what these people do. There’s nothing honest about them, and that’s exactly the sort of bollocks we’d dedicated ourselves to rejecting--well, so I’d thought. It was a rebellion, our adventures, but the rebellion was all about letting yourself feel things, experience things, enjoy things, without adhering to what everyone thought you should do. And being free in that, and unafraid to suck out life’s marrow and find its real beauties and hidden secrets; endless pleasure, in all its forms; finding and accepting the devil in yourself and dousing your soul in every beautiful sin, and never knowing boredom or emptiness. And now Henry’s just going to marry into soulless conformity, for a life of unfulfilling predictability, answering to his wife’s beck and call... Christ... Co-hosting mommy parties and wrestling kids into tacky outfits and strollers and car seats and what have you, playing the manservant and the nanny and the chauffeur and the fool, like some sort of mockery of what a modern Renaissance man can be, yet making public appearances under a noble and happy guise, all the while popping Xannies to keep him in enough of a stupor to get through it all.
...Tell me you’re not still so bitter about the past as to be complacent or disagree with me? I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here in not assuming this is all some kind of hex you’ve put on him.
westonhenry:
This coming August. Something about freesias and orchids being in season…
Say no more. Apart from cheers, that is.
