life update
henlo, I just wanted a place where I can post my thoughts and feelings where it doesn't necessarily reach anyone in particular. If it does that's great! But I kind of just need to look busy at work right now lmao and I have a lot of emotions I'd like to write out.
Right now, I have a great job honestly. I still have trouble with motivation and seeing the point in sitting at a desk all day, but at least I get paid decently and it's in the field in I studied in! I really can't complain about my work, I'm super lucky to have it. Which...is why I've been guilty and disappointed in myself this week. I let my old habits get the best of me and I didn't go to work on Tuesday. My boss was on vacation at the time so I thought I could play a little hooky. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way and I got in trouble. It's so dumb that I even thought it would be okay to do that, but I did it anyway and severely regret it. I hope I never do it again and honestly, I think I'm getting better at sucking it up and going to work, I just let my laziness get the best of me that day and it sucks.
Another reason it sucks is because this week was supposed to be perfect and fun, and I ruined it by own actions. I'm still trying to get past the bad vibes from that day but it's so hard and I'm so tired lol. I also wish I had New Year's Eve off, buuut I think I'll get off an hour early so that's a plus. I just have to think positively I guess ughhh lol!
Now I can talk about the fun stuff I suppose! I recently got into my first relationship in August, and it's just been amazing and so magical. I really can't believe I found someone who loves me as much as I love them and are so accepting of me and all my flaws. I really never thought I'd be able to find someone like that for me. Funny enough, it was through a dating app! My life has changed so drastically since August. I started my full-time job and a committed relationship basically at the same exact time.
I'm also making friends again, I think. My partner has one close friend here in ABQ (he's from CA) that I love, she is so funny and cool! I hope she considers me a friend too, haha! I also love my coworkers, they're really nice, funny, mature, and super helpful (they're both older than me by at least 10 years).
Next year (literally next month) my best friend is having her bachelorette party and I'm sooo happy and excited for her! We're just spending a few days up in a cabin to chill, smoke, drink, and play in the snow. Magical! Her wedding is in March and I'm a bridesmaid!
My partner and I may be calling each other fiancés, by the way, lol! He sort of proposed to me during a beautiful night while we were watching the stars and city lights. I took him to the foothills and made the trunk of my CRV super comfy with fairy lights and everything because he was having a really hard time that week with family and mental illness. He did make a point that because he didn't have a ring that it wasn't the official proposal he will be doing later lol!
Anyway, the reason THIS week is exciting for me is because my family is out of state! They left to visit family in CA but I had to stay for work (and because I didn't really want to go). So, I basically have the house to myself this whole week and it's been so nice (besides the stress from work lol). My mom doesn't approve of me spending the night with my partner because we're not married lmao so that's why this week is special because we get to spend all the time we want together outside of work! We're also planning on spending New Year's Eve together with our friend, we're going to do make your own pizzas, board games, video games, movies, snacks, annnd yea! I got a cold sore right before Christmas so we haven't been able to kiss in a hot minute and we're saving it for midnight this Friday! It's kind of torture but also super sweet that he wants to even do that lol!
I think that's all, we're also planning on moving in together next year which my mom also doesn't approve of buuut I'm doing it anyway ahhh. My mom's very religious and pro-purity culture so it's...very toxic and I can't wait to move out ughhh. I've been wanting to live on my own since I can remember! Alright, I'm done, happy new year!
